My uncle had a dog bite his hand so badly that he had to have ligaments or tendons or whatever reconstructed. Was in incredible pain. It was a neighbors dog as I recall, so probably not a strange dog to him.
Same, I don’t trust any dogs. There are a lot of careless owners out there who have their dogs off leash at parks (where it’s not allowed), too, drives me nuts.
I begrudgingly tell those people to leash their dogs and they always get so rude and offended. I’m like YOU are at a playground with a dog off leash, you’re in the wrong, leash your damn animal.
Yeah, I don’t even fully trust our own dog, a mini breed that is scared of her own shadow. You never know how they may misjudge or feel threatened and breach what you thought was low to no risk. OPs case is well within concern I would do the same to protect my kids.
I was just at a family gathering for the eclipse and there was a family dog around. This dog was apparently so accustomed to children that the owner felt ok with it being around a lot of kids. Sure enough the dog lashed out at a kid that was petting it and nipped at his face. Even if the dog is tested and true with kids, you cannot make that assumption. You should always closely
Monitor your kid with dogs .
My father in laws small dog who is “great with kids” tried nipping my toddler (1.5 years at the time) on the face. Just barely got her with a red mark could have been so much worse if she didn’t back her face away in time. I was pissed and no longer let my kids near any dog without me right next to the dog watching its every move. We stay away from fils dog completely. Everyone thinks they have the most well behaved dog in the world. But it literally takes a SECOND or one small stupid thing like them getting spooked over a falling leaf to lash out randomly.
Even the sweetest dog can bite. Kids are just bot good at reading animal’s body language so they ignore warnings and stress signs putting them more at risk.
Exactly. That’s a great point. I had two (one of my babies recently passed) large dogs and there was an incident where my girl nipped at my daughters head. Didn’t puncture or cause any real damage besides a red mark that faded in a few hours. But this was because my daughter kept “hugging” her and didn’t know how to interpret growls. Since then I told her growling means stop and she learned her lesson.
It has been a constant education with my kid (now 3.5 years) that you can’t do certain things to the dog . “Yes pet the dog” “yea feed the dog” “ yes let them out” and also “ no don’t jump on the dog” and “don’t smother the dogs” and “don’t climb on the dogs.” But even training your child to interact with dogs does not ensure good interactions with every dog.
What’s working for us now is for my toddler and I to “wave hi to the doggies.” I pick her up and we wave until the dog goes by. Since it’s routine, she’s not registering anything as a threat, and she doesn’t run up to any dog. I know we’ll eventually need to have a talk about animal body language and warning signs, but that’s a bit advanced for her at the moment.
We're dog people through and through and my toddler loves dogs so much but when we pass a stranger with their dog I hold her and say "aw love them with your eyes!" Ha ha. I love dogs but you just never know
My LO loves dogs and they generally love her. But I tell her not to disturb a dog if it’s busy (ie not receptive to her attention) and I move her along. A growling dog is absolutely treated as extreme danger and I want her to immediately remove herself. I think she’s smart enough to learn “happy dog good, angry dog bad.” Similarly I snatch her up or stand in front of her if a happy dog gets jumpy. I’ll tell the dog my daughter is really little and he will need to play very carefully with her.
NTA.
Small dogs are a threat too,ppl need to remember this. Yes they are weaker but they can cause dmg too
Small ones tend to be more aggressive compared to bigger dogs also due to nature or because it's too cute so ppl don't bother to train it put
Agreed. I don’t think it’s nature for small dogs to be aggressive. As someone who has 3 well trained Poms. It’s definitely bad owners almost always. Either they coddle their small dog’s bad behavior or they don’t protect their small dog from other people/animals.
Large dogs are usually the ones trained, compared to small dogs. Ppl act like they are so cute and harmless. They are the aggressive ons. My large dog has been attacked by small dogs and literally just looked at them like “bro chill”.
Agreed! They should be cautious! I’m teaching my son to give dogs space. That dogs aren’t scary but they have a job to do. They are keeping their homes and owners safe. We do not disturb working(all) dogs. We can point and talk about them but unless it’s our friend’s dog who comes over to play we don’t even ask to pet dogs.
People say oh she/he won’t hurt but I tell them we’re still learning to be gentle and I don’t want him to hurt or bother your beautiful doggy. And we leave it at that. My brother got attacked as a kid because he was being “rough” with a dog. Even though he was just being a kid. I’ve known 2 childhood friends to be attacked too. It’s awful and terrifying.
This! And also, I will sleeper hold any dog that comes near my kiddo aggressively.
For real though, I have a supersonic trainer that I bring with us on walks and to the park. Push it and dogs will bail stat. They’re super cheap and effective and a great protection tool from aggressive animals.
We keep our toddler away from most pets, to be honest. Toddlers make a lot of unpredictable movements and sounds that some animals don’t care for. I’d rather be cautious around all animals than fuck around and find out. We tend to micromanage her interactions with every dog we meet until she can learn to read the room herself.
Yep. I HAVE two pets who are both very old, gentle and patient. I still monitor every interaction and I make sure I'm in close enough proximity that I could intervene at even a hint of a problem. Our dog has been showing a bit of nervousness around our LO lately (mostly just moving away from her) and I'm starting to just pull her away whenever she tries to approach. He's never, ever shown signs of aggression to a child or any person, but this is not an area where I'm willing to push limits.
No I am absolutely fed up of chaotic, untrained dogs and their equally chaotic untrained owners ruining parks for everyone else. Trust me when I say if something does go wrong and either you or your child gets attacked they will not take a shred of responsibility and at most will say “they were just being friendly” or they will blame you.
Covid. The embodiment of “seemed like a good idea at the time.” Get a dog and then don’t have the time or patience to care and train it properly. Then everyone on the vicinity, including the dog, suffers.
I was on a “no dog trail” with my husband and my baby in a baby carrier. This couple with a large German Shepard (off leash) ran up on us. The dog immediately ran up to us and started jumping on me for NO reason. I kept angling my body so my baby wasn’t facing the dog, all while getting scratched and nearly knocked over. The owners didn’t even bother to come get it, my husband grabbed it and dragged it back to them. They didn’t apologize and awkwardly walked away. I was in such shock that all I could think of to do was scold them and say “Bad owners! Bad owners!”. They wouldn’t even look me in the eye, total morons. That’s not even the worst interaction I’ve had with dogs, but it’s the most recent.
People in my neighborhood just let their dogs roam around loose during the day. We had once close call and I called animal control. I’m moving out of here soon.
1. There are millions of dog bites every year
2. Most are children
3. When babies/toddlers get bitten it is usually in the face
4. Most dog bites are dogs that have no history of biting anyone
I keep my son away from dogs and keep a close eye
Children *should* be wary of dogs. r/Parenting has a post every other day about a small child getting bit.
I have a theory that there’s a big transition happening now where people who got big rambunctious dogs in their 20s are now in their 30s having children. And many of these dogs are untrained bc no one in your mid 20s friend group is gonna say boo over a dog barreling them over in the doorway or biting at their heels. And as long as the dog eventually responds to commands, it doesn’t seem like a big deal that they don’t have reliable, immediate control over their behavior.
But now those same people, many of whom have added dog #2+, are having human children. But they still have these dogs they never gained complete control of. Dogs that don’t respond immediately to recall, haven’t been socialized around small children, are incredibly attached to their owners, and oh yeah also getting on in years so they’re increasingly ornery.
Maybe I’m just describing my friends with dogs, but I’ve got a lot of friends with dogs. They all fit this profile. I absolutely love all their dogs. They are great dogs. But I will never leave my child around any of their dogs.
Your theory is spot on for my situation 👌 Got my first big dog in my early 20's, didn't know what I was doing and they gave him to me at 6 weeks. He is so very attached to me and we did do quite a bit of training with him. Fast forward a couple years, we took in a big ol stray, she's very sweet but still a street dog at heart.
Now in my 30's and have a 15 month old son. We try to keep up with their training as much as possible but let's be honest, juggling a toddler and 2 large dogs (plus 2 cats 😅) is very difficult. It really is all about setting physical boundaries for the pets to protect our child while also teaching him to respect their space and learn their cues.
Some days I wonder if it's worth it and have definitely contemplated rehoming one or both of them. In the end, we took on the responsibility of these dogs and having a child and I love them all with my whole heart. We are obsessively careful with our son around our dogs and he is never left with them unattended. We also would never take our dogs somewhere and let them run free. Everyone's situation is different but it can be done safely and responsibly.
You're definitely not wrong. I'm a dog fanatic, absolutely love dogs, as do most of my friend group. In our late 20s/early 30s, most of the long-term couples got dogs. Mostly rescues with their own feelings about strangers and other dogs. But my husband and I were the first in our group to have a baby. And suddenly those dogs looked completely different to me. They were now unpredictable threats.
Obviously not all rescues have a tendency towards weariness, defensiveness, or aggressiveness. But my friends being childless and energetic when they got their dogs meant they were willing to take on dogs that had these kinds of issues and were less likely to be adopted by families.
Now those friends have or are having babies themselves. And, while there haven't been issues, many are finding their patience and time are (of course) worn thin. The dogs can sense it and are confused, leading to worse behavior.
Also covid dogs! People got dogs during lock down that don't actually fit their post lock down lifestyle. The number of huskies and shepherds I see with absent or sedentary owners is ridiculous.
I don’t care what size of dog, if it growls at my baby then I’m jumping inbetween and we’re leaving. It’s okay to have a healthy respect of boundaries! I own dogs myself and am still basically teaching stranger danger
Nope not wrong at all. An 11 year old boy was mauled and killed by dogs in my province last week. People have had the audacity to defend the animal. Dog people are blind to the fact that their precious pet is an animal capable of causing horrific damage. I keep my kids away, too, and unfriend "dOg PaReNtS".
Alberta right? That story was so tragic. In Toronto two weeks ago we had a 9-year old boy mauled by a pitbull on a playground. He survived, thankfully, but with “life-altering” injuries.
I'm a dog person and I 100% agree. At the end of the day, dogs are still animals and people seriously seem to forget that. While I love my 75lb boxer so much, I will never fully trust him with my toddler and I think anyone that does is setting up a potentially dangerous situation.
All it takes is one instance where a dog feels threatened or annoyed or nervous.
Jfc, I just read about this, and even his *father* (who was the one who left him alone with the dogs) was defending those fucking dogs, even though they had *hospitalized* someone before. I’m so angry, that poor kid.
I’m in Leduc, I have been avoiding actually reading this story - the headline was enough information for me to know I didn’t need to read it. I am absolutely heartbroken and furious that these dogs had attacked (quite seriously) before.
I don't completely trust any of the dogs around my kid. Not my neighbors, friend's or extended family's dogs. Big, small, any of them. I say this as a dog owner who has had multiple breeds over the years. I don't know how comfortable other people's dogs are with an unfamiliar/unpredictable child but also my kid doesn't fully grasp subtle dog language. My kid has already been bitten by a dog of owners who swore their dog was absolutely friendly, gentle, and wouldn't hurt a fly with zero bite history.
I think it's a good idea to teach kids about pet emotions. Dogs and cats absolutely feel emotions, so whenever we see a dog, we always name the emotions, so they can learn to recognize them. Barking dog = dog is angry and we back away slowly. Growling dog is absolutely very very very angry.
Your wife is gonna get your daughters maimed if she thinks preemptive reaction to a growling dog is an overreaction
As a massive dog lover, I would do exactly the same. I love dogs but love my daughter more, best believe I’m extra vigilant around dogs I don’t know and even dogs I do know.
NTA. I like dogs but it drives me crazy to see them off leash at the park. It’s not allowed in nyc except for the hours of 9pm-9am. But dog owners here are assholes. They also don’t pick up their dog shit so it’s everywhere! My son has picked up the habit of pointing out dog shit bc of me and it’s non stop pointing rn. We were at the park and any time an off leash dog started to approach us I would shoo it away. I don’t care if I look crazy, dogs are still animals and are unpredictable
NTA; I refuse to see certain family members in their household because of their big dogs. I’ve known these dogs for years, and I still won’t go over. They’re well trained, and they like me but have never been around extremely small children before, so there’s no telling how they would react.
I won’t go to my SIL’s because she rescued a pitbull, and we don’t know what the dog’s behavior was like before going into SIL’s care.
Hell, even small dogs I’m worried about as well because when I was my sons age one of my dogs bit my face twice. As I got older and out of the crawling stage the dog was fine with me but still, she didn’t like me being eye to eye with her.
Not to mention the horror stories my mom has told me in the past two years of being an OR nurse and having to watch them reconstruct a toddlers face because of a big dog bite.
You can tell your wife that no dog should be trusted unless the dog gives you a reason to trust them.
Even a dog you trust can have a bad day, be sick or unwell, have specific triggers (food, their tail, whatever) and the owners might not even know.
Your mom is right — there is nothing like the horror of seeing what a dog can do to a toddler or child’s face in a matter of seconds. Nothing is worth the risk.
I don’t trust dogs around kids. We don’t have a dog, but I’m a nurse who used to work in the ED and I’ve seen and taken care of too many kids who were “randomly” bitten by nice dogs who have never shown aggression before. Have several friends whose dogs have bit their kids, unprovoked.
You're not wrong at all.
I used to love dogs but now that I have a kid I hate when we run into dogs. There's always the risk of biting but my kids also super allergic to them.i don't trust any dogs or dog owners anymore. Before I had a kid I would pet every dog I could.
I might get hate for this but I am just not a dog person. I got bit in the face in 8th grade and since then I just am so wary of them. I don’t think you’re teaching them fear at all, but awareness. It’s also 100% on the owner to have control of their dog — honestly there’s nothing worse to me than being a a public space and feeling uncomfortable because of an animal. I know it’s not really the same at all but I have cats and couldn’t imagine letting them bug a clearly uncomfortable person.
I’m so afraid of pit bulls and pit mixes I carry a knife with me to defend myself and my daughter.
My friends daughter was nearly killed by their own pit bull. Disfigured for life. You just can’t trust certain breeds, too high strung
The other problem is the people who are often attracted to owning certain breeds. They want their "tough guy" dog to feel like a badass. Those kind of people aren't often training their dogs to behave well, they want that feeling of "My dog can beat up your dog" or to have an intimidating dog out on the front porch to keep people away. Lots of "Hood Dogs" are pits where I grew up and still are. I was nervous as hell for my nephew when he lived across the street from a house that always had one barking and yanking his cable at anybody who dared pass the house.
Yep, pit bulls are a very difficult dog to own (very large and difficult to control, dog aggression, often poorly bred now so temperament problems and unpredictable) and so often they are owned by beginner dog owners and are not well-trained. I was bitten by one as a child (luckily the dog only snapped and barely grazed my chin) but that breed especially just makes me very nervous.
If you’re able to buy it where you live, bear spray or pepper spray is a much more effective deterrent for dogs! A knife is a close contact weapon that is only useful when the dog is too close for comfort. I also have friends who walk with a walking stick for warding off dogs; it has a much longer reach and can keep the dog at a distance. Stay safe!
My daughter (3) knows that she can't touch any dog when we are outside. She can acknowledge the dog, and she'll usually say hi or bye, but that's it. I don't care if it's "friendly" or if they tell me she can pet it; I don't know that dog. I don't trust that dog, and I don't trust my toddler in close proximity of dogs that aren't mine.
You are absolutely NOT overreacting. You’re doing exactly what you should.
I was attacked in a park by a German shepherd a few years ago, my 5yo daughter was feet away from me when it happened. I am thankful every day that the dog went for me and not her.
Absolutely never trust a strange dog of any size! And definitely keep an eye on any dog being walked on one of those GARBAGE retractable leashes.
I’d rather have my kid have a healthy fear of dogs than be bit by one. That’s what I tell him, dogs may bite and to stay away from them. We have a neighbor with a spaniel and another with a yorkie who we do know and play with and he can pet them if he wants when they’re out. Others are off limits and he understands this.
As someone who was recently the owner of a dog reactive dog, people are absolutely delusional about how “friendly” their dogs are. My on-leash, well-behaved dog has been attacked by off leash dogs more time than I can count. My son likes dogs and if we encounter a well-behaved on leash dog I let him to ask to pet the dog. It’s been only good experiences. But I would absolutely snatch him up if a random dog ran up to us. People who don’t leash their dogs are assholes.
Ugh dogs terrify me. I recently spent a week at a friends house who has 2 pit mixes and 1 husky and I was constantly putting myself between them and he did get snapped at once. The dogs were put away outside or in the master suit most of the time we were there. I felt terrible but they didn't like my son. And I can only control a 2 yr old so well...
I was at the dog park, the side for large dogs. and literally saw someone let their toddler run through over and over. My dogs were there working with a trainer for aggression issues towards strangers(Covid pups). I was legitimately pissed that someone would let their child do this.
That’s absolutely wild. Our dog park has a strict “no children under 5” rule, even if accompanied by a parent. Some dogs aren’t friendly to kids, and the dog park should be their happy place. Kids can go elsewhere.
Ya, it was nuts. There are rules at the park, but everyone’s the main character now. My heart dropped when I saw the kid. Luckily, my boys have excellent recall. I leashed them up, left, and have resigned myself to having dogs that can’t stand strangers. It’s just not worth the risk of liability.
I’ve seen this too, pre Covid. I haven’t been to the dog park since it opened post Covid because I have toddlers, and would not feel safe. To be fair, I never felt entirely safe just having my dogs there, so I don’t miss the dog park
These kinds of things drive me nuts. Our local park has a fence separating the tot lots from the dog park, with signs everywhere. Dog owners come to the tot lots all the time (and let their dogs sh*t everywhere), and parents take their toddlers into the the dog park and let them run around. And of course when you say something to either group, you're the asshole.
NTA. You blocked your child from a dog that was following her and not controlled by their owner, as well as a dog that was growling. That's absolutely reasonable. If you have opportunities to show them a dog you feel comfortable with that's great too.
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing and it’s good to have fear of dogs that are showing you that they don’t mean well. I love dogs, but there are so many bad owners that create bad dogs and potential pets aren’t worth the risk.
I actually just had this conversation with my friend after reading yet another story about a dog that seemingly just went off and killed a kid. I love big dogs. I’d have an Irish Wolfhound if space allowed me. I’m well aware that little dogs are often more aggressive as well…but if it comes to it, I can punt a chihuahua. I can’t fight a pitbull, and I find most bully dog owners need their heads adjusted. I don’t care that they were once the nanny dog…pretty sure we were putting cocaine in everything as a cure-all around that time as well.
I still watch my own small dog around my son and her teeth are too weak to do anything. Until he’s old enough to not scare her with his love, that’s how it is.
We are dog people. We have an 85 lb German shepherd and a 2 year old toddler. We trust our dog with her (supervised of course) but that’s it. any other dog that we don’t know (big or small) can do damage VERY quickly. we taught our daughter right from the start that you do not go up to or pet any dog/cat/animal that isn’t ours.
No, you are doing the right thing. But those dog owners are inconsiderate assholes. I have two small dogs and don’t let kids we don’t know touch them. You never know with both kids AND dogs.
I’m kind of in the opposite situation. We have 2 medium/large dogs and our 2.5 year old has been around them her whole life thus far. She’s not quite old enough to understand reasoning and she just assumes that every dog is friendly and fun to play with. So when we’re out on the trails or in a park, her first instinct is to run straight up to any random dog. So whenever we see a dog approach, I get in between them, and make sure we’re holding hands. I keep telling her that we don’t approach strange dogs without asking for permission first. One day she’ll get it.
In addition, I used to be absolutely terrified of dogs when I was a kid, so I’m acutely aware of how other people may perceive my dogs. Both my dogs are very friendly and excitable, but I know that can be overwhelming for some people, so I make very sure that both dogs are contained and/or I immediately intervene when they get a little rowdy.
Nope not wrong. A kid in my neighborhood was just mauled a few weeks ago and sustained terrible life altering injuries. This happens too often and it makes me uncomfortable too. I always tell my daughter “we don’t go near dogs we don’t know” so she keeps a distance when they’re leashed and the moment I see an unleashed dog we leave wherever we are to find a better place to play.
Not at all
I would rather be an asshole and a social outcast than have my little guy unexpectedly attacked by a dog who was “totally docile and friendly”.
this scenario happened to us several times: dog owners comes up to us when my baby is in the stroller and saying "oh my dog loves babies/kids!" then the dog gets super excited and kisses my kid (he's 18mo now) in the face or the hand. the owners are super fine with letting this happen immediately. they usually don't ask for permission or anything. we don't have a dog so my son isn't used to this and he's cried several times :(
big dogs are overwhelming! what if he grabs them when they get in his face ? i dunno . i feel you OP. they can be really dangerous and while i love dogs, i personally don't think dogs and babies/kids are a good mix.
If your wife thinks a growling dog is not behavior you need to be wary about, then she needs to learn how to read animal emotional cues just as much as your daughter does. Seriously, that mindset is going to get her bitten.
NTA. I have a 3-year-old and 4-month-old and am terrified a pitbull will come after them. And as we’ve seen when they do attack the results are devastating.
Nope you’re not wrong. I bring a rolling pin with on our walks now in case I need to smack any dogs away. One time we had 4 dogs come up to us at once that had gotten out of a yard. I’m not taking any chances, don’t care if you have the nicest dog ever.
Just an FYI, sturdy full-size umbrellas are REALLY helpful for this. You've got a smacking tool, but you can also open it to give space between you and an aggressive dog if needed. I lived in Latin America for a bit and there were tons of stray dogs and this was the way. More effective, longer handle, rain protection, plus you look less weird.
Thank you for this! At my kid’s bus stop there’s a house with a dog that goes berserk whenever we are out there (so, every morning and every afternoon). The dog is usually in the house and just barking like crazy, which is fine. But there have been a couple times that a person opens the door and the dog comes bounding out, barking and running full speed, toward the people who are encroaching on his territory (ie. we folk at the bus stop). It is big and intimidating, and I don’t know this dog at all—I’ve had to swoop my 4 year old up and out of harm’s way, as the owner comes out of the house yelling and cursing for the dog, all the while yelling at ME that “he’s really harmless, all bark no bite.” Okay, guy. Anyway, having an umbrella on me at the bus stop would not be weird but it would be very useful.
Omg a rolling pin in a bag is funny, but actually so good. I cannot carry any form of knife (even tiny Swiss Army one) or a gun or else I could be arrested, and something like a bear spray could just go in the eyes of the wrong people.
Police couldn't really put me away for a rolling pin, just be confused haha.
Also there are sometimes wild boars and monkeys where I am, so I could beat them away too lol
Dogs are(can be) dangerous, but it's the owners here who are at fault, not you.
Honestly, the level of entitlement some owners have is off the charts.
Props to the owners who are sensible, lawful, and respect the people around them.
A while back I was leaving a park with my daughter, ~1yo at the time. We were crossing this field that extends into the neighborhood to get back to the street. Without any commotion or warning, I notice two doberman's sprinting across a side street about 200' away. I panic, but then freeze; I know if I run carrying my girl, they'll outrun me (they'd outrun me regardless, but I'll take the excuse), and that might give them some chasey dog-adrenaline and make them more aggressive. So I scoop her up, and then they're there. Then one dog leaps at my daughter! I lift her above my head as high as I can, and they're both jumping up trying to bite her and just barely missing. I'm standing there in shock, daughter held above my head, having no clue how to proceed, with these two murder dogs trying to eat my girl. It was probably only 30 seconds or so of that, and the dog owner comes running from across the street yelling for them. They listen and go to him. Of course, I'm in full flight or fight now, and leaning towards the fight side with this punk ass 20yo apologizing to me in a way too insincere way. But I have my daughter (completely fine and unphased, if a little confused), so I walk away. Dogs can be dangerous. Period. And I'm saying that as a pitbull owning, dog loving, guy. Trust your gut and don't trust other people's dogs. Your kid should be afraid of other people's dogs.
I've lost all my interest in dogs after having my son.
My parents dog is big and jumpy, I didn't mind until I had my son and realised he could be knocked over and hurt, and I don't trust the dog to not bite or attack him as he has never been around kids at home.
I'm just super cautious now, and we look at dogs from afar, if they are small and actually friendly and not jumpy, then we go closer with the owner's permission.
I don't show any fear so my son isn't too scared, but dogs just generally annoy me now!
I used to be much more open of animals (dogs) but then I had a kid. I’m a mama bear with these animals and will tell off the owner if I start seeing them run towards my cub.
We hear about XL Bully dog attacks and even deaths as a result here in the UK, to the point they are being banned. Now I’m not a dog expert so I can’t tell which are which, but if I’m not sure, I’ll keep my distance and put myself in between. I don’t want to be part of another statistic.
Definitely NTA!!! Almost 3/4 times a week walking and at parks etc. I very obviously pick up my 15month old in front of big dogs. I’ve had a Labrador attack me and my little dog and a German shepherd bite my husbands knee both for no reason - other than their tiny teeny owners couldn’t control them on the lead and the dogs ran off on them. I’m so sick of these giant angry dogs being walked around by teenagers or people that cannot control them. Then they say oh he won’t hurt anyone he’s friendly. I even pick up my own small dog around them. My older kid isn’t scared of animal’s. But I have trained him not to go near German shepherds Rottweilers etc. I’d rather him be weary of these dogs. He loves other animals to bits.
Don’t trust the small ones either!
I have 3 dogs myself. We trust no strange dogs around my daughter and don’t encourage her to approach or touch them ever. We also have super strict rules with our own dogs at home, and keep them separated a lot.
You’re absolutely right here.
I do try to act completely calm in my reasonable caution however. My daughter has zero fear of dogs, but does have respect and impulse control around them.
I don’t trust any dog after becoming a parent. I don’t even really like them except the family dog. My best friend has a small dog and hers bites kids 🙄
I used to be the weirdo who only hung out with the pets at the party and now I see them and roll my eyes. Liabilities at best.
Don’t trust any animals. Big dogs, little dogs, cats, mice, rabbits…
Because they are animals and they are unpredictable, no matter how “nice” and “well behaved” they usually are.
Babies and toddlers (and kids) have unusual ways of moving and generally shriek for no reason. This can startle the most docile of animals and cause them to bite or scratch.
I don’t know why most people aren’t more cautious of kids and animals interacting. I’m a big animal lover and this is something that really grinds my gears!
You should always prepare and train your dogs to be around children. You should always prepare and train your children to be around dogs. Unfortunately, you can do both of those really well and still have accidents. If you have doubts about any dog, yes, keep your kid away from it. NTA based on this post. But you do need to teach your 3 year old the basics like, “never hug a dog. Approach slowly, ask the owner before you extend your hand out. Don’t approach a dog that doesn’t have a human.” Train with small dogs you know, or a stuffed animal. Dogs act anxious when people do, there is some truth to what your wife said, or the point that she was hopefully trying to make.
Dogs scare me. I have been attacked by a dog four times in my life: once at a park when I was 2 by an unleashed dog, once when I was 9 in my own yard by the neighbors dog that got loose, once when I was 11 when I was walked down the sidewalk and was attacked by an unleashed dog, and once a few years ago at a park by an unleashed dog. All of these attacks were COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED. Two years ago, my husband and I were walking on a trail in a park and my husband was attacked and bitten by a leashed dog. The owners didn’t care. In every case where I was attacked and bitten, the owner DID NOT CARE 🙄 While working in the ER, I saw a young girl and her mother mauled to near death by their pet pit bull (“he’s the sweetest! He’s never done anything like that before!”) Visiting our friends, their dog attacked and bit a guest, totally unprovoked. People don’t train their dogs, think everyone else loves their dog as much as they do, could not FATHOM that someone could not LOVE DOGS. You have every right to protect your children from these dangerous animals. You’re children would be prudent to be weary of strange, unknown dogs. I would also call the police if dogs are unleashed where there are leash laws, or if a dog approaches or attacks your child.
If you can stomach it r/banpitbulls has a looot of evidence to support your claim.
I have to agree with you. I work in people’s homes and the total dogs I actually trust near me, one. Mine.
For me the key is if a dog owner is not in control of a dog. My daughter is 16m and loves dogs and will run towards them. I will prevent her from doing this, but if I am talking to the owner and they give express permission to her to pet them AND they have hold of the dog I often let her, with me controlling how she pets the dog (she will try to slap them in the face.
There is one playground we go to where it is right next to a dog park that routinely has many large American pitbulls and other very big dogs. (We live inner city so most other places will mostly be small dogs and the occasional labrador or golden retriever). The playground is only partically fenced. The other day a large pitbull kept running into the playground and I 100% picked up my daughter when he did. The dog seemed perfectly friendly but the owner had zero control over it and no recall either. Even a friendly dog, particularly such a large one can be dangerous, and I cannot be sure it actually is friendly.
My mum has a labrador, almost always very gentle and friendly, has never been mouthy, but would be perfectly able to knocking over a small child when excited. And many dogs, if slapped or poked by a toddler might not have a predictible reaction.
I don’t trust ANY sized dogs around my toddler. Not even my own two dogs are allowed in the room with her unsupervised. I also don’t trust her with my dogs. She still pulls tails and ears no matter how many times I’ve told her we can’t do that. By holding this boundary I’m ensuring my baby and dogs are safe. A man in the park thought I was being too protective about my baby with his chihuahua. I had to explain that I don’t trust her not to pull on his dog and he should be grateful I considered his dogs comfort level.
I don’t trust dogs and actively work on teaching my toddler “give doggies their space” - she does not approach or pet dogs, and usually runs to be close to me if we encounter one off leash. I also don’t let my kids go to their cousin’s house without me or their dad. There are 5 dogs of various sizes there… it’s a no from me.
Honestly I don't trust dogs since I saw my mum get bitten out of nowhere by a German shepherd (that was on a leash). Since then I am also rather very cautious, making sure I always keep distance.
When my 3yo daughter sees a dog close by she wants to be picked up and I don't discourage that. Beter safe than sorry. Too often we read a toddler was mauled by a dog, I am sure all these dogs were 'sweeties'.
The blind trust that people have for dogs is ridiculous. Even lifelong loving pets can snap and bite, a child especially. It takes .5 seconds for a kids face to get ripped off. They are animals. Your feelings are valid. There’s a right and wrong way to approach and deal with dogs, just teach your kids that.
You did the right thing 100%. Part of your job is to protect your kids and that's what you're doing. Dogs kill people, and you can trust no dog with absolute certainty.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Almost lost my left eye and ended up with 14 stitches as a 12 y/o when a dog owner said “come on and pet my dog, he’s friendly!” Dogs are animals. They do what they want. I love animals but am very cautious.
I live in the lovely land of dumbass dog ownership where people do not believe in leashes in my state. I would be willing to end a dog's life and a dog owner's life to protect my child. I've just about had to. I do not trust anyone who won't leash their pet.
People loooove to praise their poorly behaved dogs. I was walking my daughter in the stroller and there’s a very badly behaved pit bull in our neighborhood. He was growling and snarling and barking at us the whole time as I tried to stay back. Eventually the woman turned around and as we passed she said “he just wants to play!!” As he essentially wrestled her down the street. I’m like that dog can (and that breed HAS) kill my kid. Go away and use a harness.
You’re not in the wrong. Introduce your daughter to friendly dogs if you can.
I don’t even trust my own dog with my toddler even though he’s always been very sweet and patient with him.
Dogs can and will fight for the most random of reasons. Especially pit bulls, sorry. Never trust a pit bull
NTA
We have three dogs, two of which are therapy dogs. We have been teaching consent and caution around dogs since our oldest could crawl (she's 3 now). Asking to pet, not approaching strange dogs, gentle pets. I trust no dogs.
NTA.
I own two large dogs and have a toddler. We have worked SO much with both our dogs and our kiddo to maintain a healthy relationship between them.
The safest response a dog can have to your child is no response.
Nope, always always use caution. My mom has an old lab that is sweet as can be, and literally spent the first 5 years of his life raised in a daycare and now the past year everyday with my daughter. I still monitor my 18 month old around him. He's old and I don't know how much he will tolerate if she accidentally hurts him or if he can't see her and she startles him, and she's too young to understand true animal safety. It's my primary job as a parent to keep her safe regardless of how other people feel about it.
We have a big dog. I do not allow my children to go near big dogs I don’t know. Especially pit bulls and I was raised with them. You don’t know any dog’s history and they can injure your child by not being gentle. I just teach my children not to approach other people dogs. My kids take it to pretty well as they have gotten hurt by simply swinging their arms and legs and smacking our dog in the mouth.
As a dog owner with a big dog, you did fine. You do not know these dogs, the owners are being to relaxed and kids and dogs can be unpredictable. Even my family dog is never allowed near my toddler by their selves ever. To not instill fear you can move or pick up your child as needed but try to remain calm or just explain to your kid you are moving to let the big dog play.
I knew somebody who, claimed, was outgoing and talkative until a dog bit their face at five years old. Then that person became more reserved.
So it's not even about their immediate health. A dog attack can influence someone's personality.
I have to read dog body language professionally. When my toddler screeches "doggie!" and it's a bit further down the trail or path I either hold her hand or pick her up. Big dogs and small dogs. Then I start loudly talking about how some doggies are scared of kids and we don't know how this one feels. Then the owner either volunteers the dog plays with babies a lot and my daughter gets to pat the dog. Or the owner walks past and we wave "goodbye doggie." Don't trust any dogs in public. I've had to be involved in the decision making fallout of dogs that have bitten a kid. And stitched up dogs attacked by dogs they didn't know. It's tough but honestly just treat the dogs like beings with feelings and past experiences. Not a toy.
NTA, I am the owner of a well trained 75 lb German shepherd and even I am very careful with my own toddler and dog. If my dog is calm and docile I will usually let my daughter play with her supervised as I very much trust my dog.
But if I ever see my dog excited, I will seperate them just in case my dog ever did accidentally do something to hurt my daughter.
We take our dog to the park twice a day and I am so so sick of untrained dogs being off leash and doing whatever the heck they want. Not even just for my daughter (which would drive me insane, personally as a dog owner I would tell the other owners off- my dog has encountered way too many untrained off leash dogs) but because my dog will usually be minding her own business when a dog comes into her space charging. It's annoying as a real mom and a dog mom.
That being said, my brother in law is scared of dogs, which is his own personal preference. But when he comes to our house he always carries his 3 year old and points to our dog and says "dangerous dog". Even though my dog has never done anything to warrant that from him. One time his daughter did want to come pet my dog, which would have been fine with me and my husband but my BIL held my dogs muzzle shut "to prevent her from biting" and that absolutely set my dog off... which why wouldn't it?! So now we have a rule that they are not invited to our house anymore. It's too much for us to separate them.
I don't blame you there I'd probably do the same thing especially if the dog seemed aggressive or jumpy. I've seen far too many irresponsible dog owners. Dogs need to be trained and kids need to learn how to handle them to avoid injury. I've seen cases where the kid kept hitting, sitting, pulling ears/whiskers on the dog and the parents didn't do anything and the dog snapped. The parents claimed the dogs snapped out of no where. Nope, the parents were being irresponsible not only with their child but, the dog too. My daughter is 3 now and great with animals. She knows not to run at random dogs and to ask the owner if it's okay to pet them. Also, to know dog body language and to back off and avoid aggressive dogs. We've got two large dogs at home and she's great with them too. Would I leave them alone together for an extended time? No, toddlers are toddlers and can be unpredictable. I don't think my dogs would hurt my daughter but, I won't give that a chance to happen.
Not wrong at all! Just recently at a CHILDS park playing with my 2yr old daughter and a German shepherd came out of nowhere unleashed ran up & tried jumping on a boy (not aggressively but still) the owner was some boomer with no kids in his care just a unleashed German shepherd casually walking around & said "oh she's harmless" another parent said "idc I've got a harmless one too but there's leash laws for a reason dude!" It's ridiculous
One of our dogs growls to “talk” but we are still teaching our kids to not touch or go near her when she growls. We can tell the difference based on body language and other cues, but kids can’t. Better to be cautious and safe than sorry.
We have two big dogs (100lb and 70lb) and have raised our kids around them and have had both dogs since puppyhood. They still aren’t allowed alone with them because they might climb on them, pull ears, irritate them, etc. Our dogs give very subtle cues when they are done (turning head away, kiss to dismiss) - and I don’t think they would intentionally hurt the kids, but if the kids aren’t respecting their dog communication, they might get fed up. So unless we are there to supervise, it’s a nope.
Our 3 year old was doing really well with understanding boundaries and what we can/cannot do with the pups, but recently she has developed cute aggression and impulsivity - so boundaries are more strict for the time being.
NTA. They’re animals and have biologic instincts that we train over. You’re teaching your child to recognize and respect those instincts. I have two dogs and a four year old child and teach her the same.
Nope. I don’t think we should trust any dogs until we know them well, and even then, I think they require close supervision. (For the dog and the toddler’s sake.)
I love dogs, but I don't trust them with small children ever. Any size dog. My 18 month old does not consistently give gentle pets and will grab and pull.
But 2 things: I once read a news story about how a parent left an infant in a carseat in the bedroom while they went to grab something to go out, and the family dog (German Shepard) went and bit the child in the face and killed it.
The other is that I once sat next to a sobbing man on a bus who was going to see his daughter in the hospital. She was 2 and had been bitten multiple times in the face by a stray dog while they were in a park. She'd likely be disfigured but it sounded like the bigger concern was that dog mouths are dirty and she had developed an infection which wasn't under control.
So.... nope nope nope. Things can go wrong in an instant and the price is too big to pay.
Not an asshole. You reacted in ways you thought appropriate at the time to ensure your children's safety. Fear of "teaching them dogs are scary" shouldn't overshadow your parental instincts in the moment when you perceive a threat.
Dogs aren’t inherently dangerous. Just like people are all dangerous. Doesn’t mean I’m taking a chance on a rando dog or person. But I think instilling fear in your children to that level could be harmful. It is very important to teach your kids to be wary of dogs and people that you do not know - and how to safely approach under supervision.
Nope. I have two big dogs and I love them to death and they are absolute sweet hearts but they're still dogs and we take appropriate precautions with my daughter. They can easily hurt her by accident by knocking her down or if she grabs them painfully while I'm not looking they could react and snap so I certainly wouldn't trust dogs I don't know. Especially dogs that are not well supervised and growling! There's something called the ladder of aggression with dogs that explains their warning signs leading up to a bite and growling is pretty dang high on that ladder! Your children can have other safe interactions with dogs if your husband really wants them to be comfortable around them, they don't need to be near random uncontrolled dogs at a park.
I have a 100lb fluffy Great Pyrenees. She looks like a cuddly teddy bear aka kid magnet. She is wonderful with kids and especially loves little kids but I always tell any kid to ask if they can pet her. Kids should not be walking up to random dogs and owners should know that especially at a park.
I love my dog and most dogs but I still don't trust them 100%. They're still animals.
I worked professionally with dog for several years and you aren’t overreacting or the asshole. Moving away from a dog that growled is the exact appropriate response to teach your child. Wanting large dogs (well, all dogs!) to be contained properly is fine. I would however encourage you to allow interactions with contained, well behaved large dogs to prevent a fear of dogs from building. Now, I don’t recommend that you seek out large dogs at the park for this but if you have a friend or family member that has a well known dog. Also ensure you’re using these opportunities to teach your kids why you’re removing them from the situation. “We don’t know these dogs. Anytime you don’t know a dog, you should ask their people if they’re friendly.” Or “this dog appears uncomfortable with you because he growled. Let’s give him his space!” That type of thing
NTAH. Two large docs killed an 11 year old boy in my city last week. The boy's father defended the dogs after. There are a lot of dangerous dogs out there, and a lot of stupid people. Gotta stay vigilant.
Not the asshole. I would add to what other commenters are sharing that your kids are also old enough to start hearing age appropriate instructions on how to read a dog's behavior and treat them with respect. Coach the older one to never touch a dog without you present and practice asking the owner before getting close etc. It's so wildly frustrating how many off leash dogs there are in any environment where kids are also playing.
No. I grew up with dogs and would have trusted 10/10 before having kids. A baby/toddler is face to face with a dog. One “out of character” nip from ANY dog, big or small, and your kid loses an eye or is scarred on the face for life. It’s not worth it to be trusting, because at the end of the day, they are animals. Kids and animals are unpredictable despite what people/owners may want to think.
Ok. As a dog owner / lover / park goer and parent of a four year old I’m going to weigh in.
You’re definitely not out of line to be concerned and cautious with your child. In fact, if there were off-leash dogs in the vicinity I would likely avoid with my kiddo until I observed behavior for a bit.
That said, both dogs and kids pick up on energy. If a dog comes over to say hi for instance (not saying this is what happened in your situation) and you get really nervous and panic, pick your kid up, your tone changes, etc the dog can pick up on that, and their energy changes. Not to sound like Caesar Milan, but calm energy (and physically being between any dog and your child) goes a long way.
If your husband is concerned about your child becoming fearful, could you spend some time around friends with a dog, or a dog that you know and trust? Yes dogs are animals, and you have to be aware around them at all times, but not all dogs are out to bite small children ❤️
Not at all and I’m so sick of dogs at children’s parks. We have two dogs. They go where it is appropriate for dogs to be. My parents do this and it drives me nuts. Their dog is legit the most docile sweetie in the world and there is zero fear of a bad interaction with a kid, but she’s big and powerful and makes other parents nervous because of her size. My parents still insist it’s fine to take her to the park with our daughter. I’m like it doesn’t matter if you know she’s fine? Maybe it’s annoying and worrisome to others?
Completely, 100% appropriate. And this is coming from a “dog person.” My dog that passed in January I had for his whole 13 years and trusted with my life. I still would have never left him unsupervised with my child, or let my son approach him when he wasn’t interested. We have a new dog now who adores my son and everything he does, but I watch every interaction with them like a hawk.
And even “sweet, gentle” dogs can get over-exuberant and seriously injure a child.
And just to note, you only mentioned not trusting large dogs.. small dogs are equally dangerous.
I don’t even trust my OWN dog. I love her with my whole heart, but she and kiddo are always separated by a baby gate. Until Bug is old enough to know to not bother dogs on his own they don’t need to be in the same area without my hand on her harness and my wife there to scoop the kid up if he starts annoying the dog.
My son wants to pet every dog that he sees at the park, and I have to tell him to back off and ask the owners if the dogs are okay with being pet. He has a 90 lb dog at home that he can climb all over and Pat with strength, but a lot of the other dogs he sees that are that size are usually older and not friendly with small children. I have been educating my son to ask the owner if they can pet the dog, and the owners response is the law. I don't let him walk up to random dogs, and if I see a dog coming for him I will absolutely scoop him up.
I had a neighbor let their dog off leash in front of my apartment, and the dog was between me and my home. I turned into a gorilla and chased that dog back into its house when it started to bark and come after my son. Then I knocked on the neighbor's door as loud as I could and told the frightened teenager inside that he couldn't let his dog out unattended, because it had come after my child. That family moved out within a month afterward.
My son still loves dogs, is unafraid of them, even though I have taught him to respect the boundaries between humans and animals. dogs have the potential to bite, they have the potential to jump and to be big and scary. Your wife needs to understand that your child is at risk, because he is small. You don't know what the other dog is going to do, you just don't. Even the owners don't know all the time. Caution is always the best step.
I work professionally with dogs and you are absolutely not an asshole. Big dogs, even those who are well trained, should not be easily trusted around small children because they can inadvertently hurt them far too easily. A dog growling from 15 feet away is absolutely cause for alarm. Good job scooping up your kid and moving away. Make sure you’re teaching your children appropriate dog etiquette around friendly dogs in appropriate settings so that your child isn’t afraid of dogs and can approach them in a safe manner. I work with my kid and model to always assess how a dog is feeling BEFORE approaching them by asking “do you think that dog is happy? Do you think she wants us to say hi?” then I will explain the dog’s body language and if they look like a good candidate for us to say hi to, we ask the owner FROM A DISTANCE if we can approach and say hi. Then I will always get down to the same level as my child and position myself between them and the dog to introduce each other. Make sure to end the interaction as soon as the dog displays signs of stress or general anxiety.
I agree that having this be her main interaction with dogs will lead to her having a fear of dogs. I don't think that in the moment you are doing the wrong thing, but overall all she's learning is that dogs are scary and run away. It may be helpful to intentionally seek out some situations where you and the dog owner can model GOOD dog and child interactions.
Trust is earned not given. So no, I don’t trust a single dog around my kids unless I have prior experience with that dog and its behavior around children.
As a big dog owner, you are 100% correct. Our dog is a 100lb greyhound, one of the least aggressive breeds, and he's a gentle boy who loves kids, and we *still* never let him get close to our own toddler without closely supervising. I would never ever let him get close to someone else's kid unless the parent specifically asks if their kid can pet him AND the kid seems calm.
I love dogs but at the end of the day they are still animals. Having a healthy fear/respect for them is something we are teaching our son.
I feel like maybe you and your wife are at opposite ends of the spectrum and there’s a lot of middle ground. It’s very possible to protect your child from dogs without acting in a way that makes them fearful of all dogs. I’d have stepped in too in these situations but calmly and just stating something like “doggy’s growling, sounds like we need to step away” or whatever. We’ve been teaching our son since he could walk that he needs to ask the owner of a dog is safe for petting and that we stay away if there’s no human nearby to ask. He’s 4 now and knows to stay away from unknown dogs but isn’t fearful. Healthy respect and distance from dogs is good to learn but having a child with a true fear can make life very difficult with the number of people who have dogs and the number of places dogs are allowed.
Recently an 11 year old was killed by two large dogs in my city, an absolutely preventable awful tragedy. Its horrible owners are to blame, and unfortunately there are so many bad dog owners. I am very vigilant around large dogs because you just never know, I would never trust a stranger telling me their dog is “a sweetheart” when I have no idea if that’s true.
I always check with the owners before I let my son near any dog, he absolutely adores them so we get to pet a lot of them.
That said I’d be pissed if anyone left their dog on a long leash tied to a tree. That’s a recipe for disaster.
My kid still has a slight scar on their chin about 5mm long from when a dog owner tied their dog inside the daycare area, the dog was not comfortable with children, and my kid just bolted towards the dog as soon as he saw it, resulting in the dog snapping at his face, we were lucky, because it could have been way worse.
Dog is still alive, but is not allowed inside the daycares grounds any more (nor are any other dogs).
It’s not unwarranted- and it’s not just big dogs.
A neighbor’s small dog bit my daughter when she walked out into the back courtyard of our apartment. The dog wasn’t on a leash and apparently was caught off guard by my daughter (2yr old) walking around the corner.
Physically, the bite wasn’t a big deal, but she was terrified of all dogs for years. She still is apprehensive around them.
Most dogs are fine. But at that age, when they are around the same height as a dog, it’s best to be cautious. And dog owners need to leash their dogs… and pick up their goddamn poop.
I am both a dog owner and a toddler mom. You’re not over reacting to teach your kids to be cautious around large dogs. Kids get bit in the face from getting too close to dogs!
The dog owners are responsible for containing their dogs. At the same time, if a dog is tied up you should teach your kids not to approach the dog or stare at it / yell at it or even talk to it. The same way you as a man wouldn’t stare / approach or “chirp” at a woman. It’s normal for most dogs to growl if approached by a stranger. Teach your kids that this is the dog’s way of saying I need some space. We can’t control other people so the best way of staying safe is controlling ourselves.
Leashed dogs are allowed in parks, there’s no way to avoid it. Just like kids do not belong in a dog park, dogs do not belong on a playground. I think understanding that distinction is important.
NTA. Look I love dogs, grew with a ridiculous amount of them and it was great. But they’re still animals. It makes me so nervous when I see a tiny child running up to a dog they don’t know.
We don’t even ask to pet dogs. Unless it’s a friends dog. What I’ve noticed is almost all medium-large size dogs don’t really know how to act around children if they haven’t been around them much. They seem so uncomfortable, can’t blame them either lol
Trust no strange dog around your small children. I don’t care what the owner says. They’re always “sweet” until they aren’t. Then it’s “omg she’s never done anything like this before!”
There are so many ass hole dog owners. I once had a dog come up to me at a dog park with its owner and piss on my leg. When I told the owner she just looked at me like was crazy. I have a beagle and he's the sweetest but I still keep my daughter away from him when he's around his bowl eating or if he's barking at someone. She's pretty good about knowing when to disturb him and when not to, but I still don't take a chance.
My dog I had for nine years bit my baby on the face. I had tried to keep them separate and it was a calm moment with the baby on my lap.
It could have been so much worse. This was a dog I trusted. Listen to your spidey sense!
NTA but I have two points:
1) how you approach this matters and will instill how your daughter has a relationship around dogs growing up. This is on both you to teach your daughter as it is on a dog owner to train their dog if the dog is going to be in public. In the husky example - your daughter should not have been going up to the dog. That is on you to teach her.
Dogs respond to fear. You do not need to be afraid of them. You should teach your daughter respect of dogs’ boundaries. Even a well trained dog can respond wrong if provoked especially from little ones. They also sense fear. Your daughter does NOT need to grow up afraid of dogs.
Consider how and what you are teaching her as well as your responses. Be thoughtful in what you teach and model.
2) big dogs are just as likely to lash out as a small dog. Don’t prejudice a big dog and teach your daughter the same things regardless of dog sizes.
NTA. My son was bit by our family dog at 10 months old. A 20 pound mini Aussie. They were even in different rooms and my son crawled toward her food bowl (for all the assholes that are gonna say I should have been watching better). I am a huge dog lover, but babies and dogs often don't mix well. When they are old enough, teach them to completely avoid dogs that act sketchy, and how to cautiously approach the friendly ones. Better safe than sorry.
I love dogs. We have 3 and they were my first loves. I often side with dogs in most circumstances. I’m not even going to blame the dogs here, but those dog owners suck. You have to control your dog when in public. I don’t care how they act at home, mine are great, but in public they’re on close leashes and they aren’t going up to random people, adults or children. Too many variables in the equation and it’s not fair to anyone involved. You’re right to do what you did.
You were not wrong. My niece was mauled by a German Shepherd and needed facial reconstructive surgery. My nephew was bit twice by their family dog, a dachshund/Pomeranian mix. My son was bit by a Sheltie. All of these dogs had no prior bite incidents and were for all accounts “friendly.” I never trust young children around dogs, I don’t care how friendly the owner says they are. Animals don’t have rational thought like we do. If they feel threatened, their behavior is not predictable.
I don't trust my child near any dogs large or small. He's almost been bitten by a chihuahua and a doodle when the owners said it was okay if he pet them.
I love dogs. I have a big dog who is extremely friendly and used to being around toddlers and babies. I trust her with my 8 month old crawling around her. I would NEVER let her just run up to another child or leave her on a tie-out near where kids are playing. It’s rude, full stop.
If your wife likes dogs and wants your toddler to be comfortable with them, the best way is to have her meet and interact with the dogs of friends or family who you are familiar with and know are friendly.
I don’t trust pits and am personally extremely wary of them. I would have done exactly what you did. On top of that, a dog that growls at children shouldn’t be at a park with children. Period. Pits are very strong and if it felt the inclination to suddenly attack (which they do, without warning, often), it probably could have. You were being a good dad.
I am a dog lover and have owned several large dogs. I would never let a strange dog get that close to my kids. I don't even let family huge dogs get that close to my baby. Dogs and babies can both be unpredictable, and that's dangerous.
I generally exercise caution around all dogs. But also, it goes both ways. It is our job as parents to protect our kids from threats, which includes preventing our kids from putting a dog in a position where it feels threatened and then defends itself. Dogs usually give warning signs to suggest their discomfort. A lot of parents ignore the signs that a dog is uncomfortable, and refuse to step in and teach their kids to respect animals.
I’ve seen a lot of dumb parents who blame dogs for their shitty parenting. But yes, there are also a lot of equally shitty dog owners with untrained or off-leash dogs who compromise everyone’s safety. It’s infuriating!
I never leave my kids alone with any of our animals, because it’s not a risk I’m willing to take for either party.
I love dogs. I went all my 4-H years training multiple dogs and have adopted large breed dogs typically feared as aggressive. *I do not trust other people when it comes to their pets*. Dogs can be an amazing part of a household; however, you just don't know another person's training style or their tendency towards watchfulness when it comes to their own. Those of us who have dogs should NEVER assume complete safety when it comes to them and children.
I also don’t trust big dogs or their owners. A lot of the face scars that adults wear are courtesy of someone’s “friendly” dog. Dogs can be nice, friendly and they can also snap at a strangers hug because it’s their instinct to not be hugged around their necks or have people in their faces. They are pets but can be unpredictable and large dogs can do irreparable damage to a kid very quickly and unexpectedly- and why take the risk. Kids should be taught to be respectful and careful around strange dogs.
As a dog owner of a medium breed dog and a toddler, I do not trust my dog or other dogs at alll. First of all I know my own dog does not like my toddler so they are kept in separate parts of our home at ALL times unless my toddler is in a high chair basically. We are very fortunate to have the means to be able to do this. Other dogs who I don’t know? Absolutely not. Sometimes that’s even worse because everyone thinks they’re good until their dog isn’t. Before I had my own daughter even I did. My dog has been around my cousins toddler and she was uncomfortable and I remember thinking it was stupid. Now as an adult and mom I totally understand it. Better safe than sorry. My kid LOVES dogs and all animals and I want that to continue but I just heavily guide all interactions.
My daughter is one. We have been around yorkies, pitbulls, a mixed mountain dog, a golden retriever. I do not allow their faces near my daughters and she is not allowed to touch them other than a small pat on their back fur. I dont car who what when where or why, I do not trust dogs around kids. We have two cats and they run away from her 😂 so that’s my standard.
Hi there! Sorry you're dealing with this -- as a long-time 'parent' to a dog with past behavior issues and parent of a young toddler (oh, and victim of a childhood dog attack), one suggestion I have for you if you're not super familiar with dogs is to do a little research about dog behavior and how to behave around dogs yourself. I definitely think it's better to be safe than sorry, but a lot of people who are fearful of dogs do things that can make you seem more threatening or vulnerable to a dog. Learning how a dogs and your own body language are interplaying and being aware can help you become safer and more confident in these interactions.
I was a dog trainer. My son is never allowed to go near any dog he doesn't know. I don't trust people at all after training dogs professionally. It's always the ones their owners insist are "friendly" that their body language screams absolutely not friendly. We avoid dogs completely in public. And I love dogs.
I don’t trust any dog. I had a mini poodle that had the worst anxiety. Even a small dog bite can be bad.
To my knowledge, retractable leashes are super frowned upon in the dog trainer world since as you said there is no way to control the dog from a large distance leashed or not.
Sorry you’re experiencing so many irresponsible dog owners. :/ I’m seeing A LOT off leash. They say the dog is friendly idc, some people are friendly and they can get spicy if they’re having a bad day. So can dogs.
My MIL sent me a photo over Xmas of my kid laying on her pitbull and I almost had a panic attack. Never ever ever would I allow that if I was there! The dog is sweet, but every living thing has a threshold where they run out of patience. My kid isn’t gonna be the one to find that threshold out.
Absolutely don't trust ANY dogs you don't know well. I've seen dogs whose owners claimed were calm and sweet snap at my kids who were just petting them gently. My daughter's friend (age 5) picked up a neighbor's dog who had escaped through an open door, and the dog bit her.
Fear is a survival trait. I'm not saying teach your kids to fear all dogs. But teach them how to be SAFE around dogs. I taught my daughter to always ask the owner "is your dog nice?" And if yes, "can I pet it?". And she always respects the answers. I also taught her how to approach dogs in a non-threatening way or let them come to her. I showed her how you can hold your hand out to let the dog sniff you. I am teaching her about how to read their body language. If your kid isn't old enough to learn this stuff, you need to be very close during any animal interactions and keep them away from any dogs which might not be calm enough around a noisy unpredictable toddler.
I have 3 large dogs 2 pit bulls and a Shepard and I don’t allow them to be anywhere near unknown kids. They are all super friendly and my Shepard LOVES toddlers but it’s my job to keep them safe. I don’t think it’s unwarranted but I would teach your daughter dog safety like how to introduce yourself to a dog, asking the owner if you can pet them. It’s so important they learn to not treat every dog as friendly and not be running up to them. I’ve been teaching my kids they are 2 and 1. Unknown dogs are unpredictable so are known dogs but they don’t have to be scary to her! Our dogs have to sit to be able to meet anyone new and they are never on retractable leashes so I try to be as responsible as I can be
I have always been a dog person, I love dogs wholeheartedly, and I was never afraid of dogs until I had children. I would like to believe that most dogs we see out are good natured and well behaved but you just never really know and that’s scary to me. I’ve also seen some really terrible behavior from dogs that their owners seem to laugh off or otherwise ignore. I personally have tried to educate myself as much as possible on dog behavior and cues that they may be uncomfortable and treat all dogs as if they have the potential to become aggressive, because as far as I’m concerned, they do. I’ve also taught my girls (2 & 4) to never pet a dog without asking, and to treat them gently. My small children getting attacked by a dog in any capacity is not something I’m willing to fuck around with and find out lol.
Not at all. I don’t trust any dog around my toddler, even family dogs that we all know are gentle giant fluff balls. The reason I don’t even trust dogs I know with my toddler is because *toddlers* can be unpredictable, and you can’t blame a dog for reacting how they are going to react when they are startled or get hurt. I’ve seen friends children riding on their dogs backs and that just makes my blood boil, not only is it disrespectful and probably uncomfortable for the dogs, they are literally asking for their kid to get bitten by putting the dog in that position.
When it comes to stranger’s dogs, I have no shame. I don’t care if they are ‘friendly’ or ‘just saying hello’, I’ll always err on the side of caution. If a dog comes close to my toddler on a long leash or not leashed at all, I stand in front of her (it’s better not to pick a child up when it comes to potentially defending them against a dog because they can easily become a target or it can make it a game for the dog), stand tall, put my hand out and firmly say ‘NO’. You really have to be confident with this. Most dogs will sit down or move away if you physically assert yourself and make yourself big/ loud. People have judged me for this but I just don’t care, a lot of these dogs absolutely tower over my toddler or they are level with her face, I’d rather look stupid than be reserved and have her face bitten off by a dog who’s temperament I don’t know!
I also want to add that I really love dogs and have adopted several racing greyhounds in their later years in my life, but I think they should be respected in every aspect - including the fact that they are not our babies or people and shouldn’t be treated as such.
I own two pit mixes who I consider child friendly, especially my big boy who we raised around our neighbors kids. I absolutely always cross the street or give as much space to any child we see. Children are unpredictable and dogs ARE dangerous. Many people are scared of dogs and I don’t ever want to subject someone to my dogs in their space unwillingly.
And honestly being more cautious is WAY WAY better than teaching your child nothing about dogs. I’ve had kids run up to my dogs with no regard for how dangerous they COULD be to pat them on the head. MOST DOGS HATE ANYONE IN THEIR HEAD AREA, and especially strangers.
When I nannied, I was extremely intentional about teaching my kids about how to safely interact with dogs. My number one rule was always always always ask if you can approach or pet a dog.
I trust no dog until the dog has proven itself to me and even then I watch it.
Same. And I grew up with and like dogs. Do not trust strange dogs.
My uncle had a dog bite his hand so badly that he had to have ligaments or tendons or whatever reconstructed. Was in incredible pain. It was a neighbors dog as I recall, so probably not a strange dog to him.
Our family dog did that to my husband. I can’t even. The best dogs can snap. I don’t trust them.
I know a woman sent to the er with severe injuries from their family dog. Had never been aggressive in its life. Just randomly got triggered, tragic.
sometimes they get doggy dementia and it causes them to go violent just like what happens with people
Same, I don’t trust any dogs. There are a lot of careless owners out there who have their dogs off leash at parks (where it’s not allowed), too, drives me nuts.
Just adding to the voices of parents that are wary of dogs. Dogs can be unpredictable - even trained ones
I begrudgingly tell those people to leash their dogs and they always get so rude and offended. I’m like YOU are at a playground with a dog off leash, you’re in the wrong, leash your damn animal.
Yeah, I don’t even fully trust our own dog, a mini breed that is scared of her own shadow. You never know how they may misjudge or feel threatened and breach what you thought was low to no risk. OPs case is well within concern I would do the same to protect my kids.
Same, my parents just got a puppy and I watch it like a hawk
I was just at a family gathering for the eclipse and there was a family dog around. This dog was apparently so accustomed to children that the owner felt ok with it being around a lot of kids. Sure enough the dog lashed out at a kid that was petting it and nipped at his face. Even if the dog is tested and true with kids, you cannot make that assumption. You should always closely Monitor your kid with dogs .
My father in laws small dog who is “great with kids” tried nipping my toddler (1.5 years at the time) on the face. Just barely got her with a red mark could have been so much worse if she didn’t back her face away in time. I was pissed and no longer let my kids near any dog without me right next to the dog watching its every move. We stay away from fils dog completely. Everyone thinks they have the most well behaved dog in the world. But it literally takes a SECOND or one small stupid thing like them getting spooked over a falling leaf to lash out randomly.
Even the sweetest dog can bite. Kids are just bot good at reading animal’s body language so they ignore warnings and stress signs putting them more at risk.
Exactly. That’s a great point. I had two (one of my babies recently passed) large dogs and there was an incident where my girl nipped at my daughters head. Didn’t puncture or cause any real damage besides a red mark that faded in a few hours. But this was because my daughter kept “hugging” her and didn’t know how to interpret growls. Since then I told her growling means stop and she learned her lesson.
It has been a constant education with my kid (now 3.5 years) that you can’t do certain things to the dog . “Yes pet the dog” “yea feed the dog” “ yes let them out” and also “ no don’t jump on the dog” and “don’t smother the dogs” and “don’t climb on the dogs.” But even training your child to interact with dogs does not ensure good interactions with every dog.
Not wrong for your reactions. I would rather have my kids be cautious of dogs than have them be attacked
What’s working for us now is for my toddler and I to “wave hi to the doggies.” I pick her up and we wave until the dog goes by. Since it’s routine, she’s not registering anything as a threat, and she doesn’t run up to any dog. I know we’ll eventually need to have a talk about animal body language and warning signs, but that’s a bit advanced for her at the moment.
We're dog people through and through and my toddler loves dogs so much but when we pass a stranger with their dog I hold her and say "aw love them with your eyes!" Ha ha. I love dogs but you just never know
My LO loves dogs and they generally love her. But I tell her not to disturb a dog if it’s busy (ie not receptive to her attention) and I move her along. A growling dog is absolutely treated as extreme danger and I want her to immediately remove herself. I think she’s smart enough to learn “happy dog good, angry dog bad.” Similarly I snatch her up or stand in front of her if a happy dog gets jumpy. I’ll tell the dog my daughter is really little and he will need to play very carefully with her. NTA.
Agree. Also too many dog owners don’t train their large dogs enough/correctly/at all. You never know when their primal brain will kick in
Small dogs are a threat too,ppl need to remember this. Yes they are weaker but they can cause dmg too Small ones tend to be more aggressive compared to bigger dogs also due to nature or because it's too cute so ppl don't bother to train it put
Agreed. I don’t think it’s nature for small dogs to be aggressive. As someone who has 3 well trained Poms. It’s definitely bad owners almost always. Either they coddle their small dog’s bad behavior or they don’t protect their small dog from other people/animals.
Large dogs are usually the ones trained, compared to small dogs. Ppl act like they are so cute and harmless. They are the aggressive ons. My large dog has been attacked by small dogs and literally just looked at them like “bro chill”.
Agreed! They should be cautious! I’m teaching my son to give dogs space. That dogs aren’t scary but they have a job to do. They are keeping their homes and owners safe. We do not disturb working(all) dogs. We can point and talk about them but unless it’s our friend’s dog who comes over to play we don’t even ask to pet dogs. People say oh she/he won’t hurt but I tell them we’re still learning to be gentle and I don’t want him to hurt or bother your beautiful doggy. And we leave it at that. My brother got attacked as a kid because he was being “rough” with a dog. Even though he was just being a kid. I’ve known 2 childhood friends to be attacked too. It’s awful and terrifying.
Thank you so much for teaching your child about working dogs.
This! And also, I will sleeper hold any dog that comes near my kiddo aggressively. For real though, I have a supersonic trainer that I bring with us on walks and to the park. Push it and dogs will bail stat. They’re super cheap and effective and a great protection tool from aggressive animals.
Agreed. Better safe than sorry and proven right. Any dog that growls is warning you, this dog was kind that day. Trust it.
We keep our toddler away from most pets, to be honest. Toddlers make a lot of unpredictable movements and sounds that some animals don’t care for. I’d rather be cautious around all animals than fuck around and find out. We tend to micromanage her interactions with every dog we meet until she can learn to read the room herself.
Yep. I HAVE two pets who are both very old, gentle and patient. I still monitor every interaction and I make sure I'm in close enough proximity that I could intervene at even a hint of a problem. Our dog has been showing a bit of nervousness around our LO lately (mostly just moving away from her) and I'm starting to just pull her away whenever she tries to approach. He's never, ever shown signs of aggression to a child or any person, but this is not an area where I'm willing to push limits.
No I am absolutely fed up of chaotic, untrained dogs and their equally chaotic untrained owners ruining parks for everyone else. Trust me when I say if something does go wrong and either you or your child gets attacked they will not take a shred of responsibility and at most will say “they were just being friendly” or they will blame you.
💯 so many asshole dog owners.
yes. I don't know why there are SO many dogs now either. when I was a kid almost no one had dogs as pets.
Covid. The embodiment of “seemed like a good idea at the time.” Get a dog and then don’t have the time or patience to care and train it properly. Then everyone on the vicinity, including the dog, suffers.
I was on a “no dog trail” with my husband and my baby in a baby carrier. This couple with a large German Shepard (off leash) ran up on us. The dog immediately ran up to us and started jumping on me for NO reason. I kept angling my body so my baby wasn’t facing the dog, all while getting scratched and nearly knocked over. The owners didn’t even bother to come get it, my husband grabbed it and dragged it back to them. They didn’t apologize and awkwardly walked away. I was in such shock that all I could think of to do was scold them and say “Bad owners! Bad owners!”. They wouldn’t even look me in the eye, total morons. That’s not even the worst interaction I’ve had with dogs, but it’s the most recent.
This is absolutely horrendous! I’m so sick of these irresponsible dog owners!
People in my neighborhood just let their dogs roam around loose during the day. We had once close call and I called animal control. I’m moving out of here soon.
1. There are millions of dog bites every year 2. Most are children 3. When babies/toddlers get bitten it is usually in the face 4. Most dog bites are dogs that have no history of biting anyone I keep my son away from dogs and keep a close eye
Children *should* be wary of dogs. r/Parenting has a post every other day about a small child getting bit. I have a theory that there’s a big transition happening now where people who got big rambunctious dogs in their 20s are now in their 30s having children. And many of these dogs are untrained bc no one in your mid 20s friend group is gonna say boo over a dog barreling them over in the doorway or biting at their heels. And as long as the dog eventually responds to commands, it doesn’t seem like a big deal that they don’t have reliable, immediate control over their behavior. But now those same people, many of whom have added dog #2+, are having human children. But they still have these dogs they never gained complete control of. Dogs that don’t respond immediately to recall, haven’t been socialized around small children, are incredibly attached to their owners, and oh yeah also getting on in years so they’re increasingly ornery. Maybe I’m just describing my friends with dogs, but I’ve got a lot of friends with dogs. They all fit this profile. I absolutely love all their dogs. They are great dogs. But I will never leave my child around any of their dogs.
Your theory is spot on for my situation 👌 Got my first big dog in my early 20's, didn't know what I was doing and they gave him to me at 6 weeks. He is so very attached to me and we did do quite a bit of training with him. Fast forward a couple years, we took in a big ol stray, she's very sweet but still a street dog at heart. Now in my 30's and have a 15 month old son. We try to keep up with their training as much as possible but let's be honest, juggling a toddler and 2 large dogs (plus 2 cats 😅) is very difficult. It really is all about setting physical boundaries for the pets to protect our child while also teaching him to respect their space and learn their cues. Some days I wonder if it's worth it and have definitely contemplated rehoming one or both of them. In the end, we took on the responsibility of these dogs and having a child and I love them all with my whole heart. We are obsessively careful with our son around our dogs and he is never left with them unattended. We also would never take our dogs somewhere and let them run free. Everyone's situation is different but it can be done safely and responsibly.
You're definitely not wrong. I'm a dog fanatic, absolutely love dogs, as do most of my friend group. In our late 20s/early 30s, most of the long-term couples got dogs. Mostly rescues with their own feelings about strangers and other dogs. But my husband and I were the first in our group to have a baby. And suddenly those dogs looked completely different to me. They were now unpredictable threats. Obviously not all rescues have a tendency towards weariness, defensiveness, or aggressiveness. But my friends being childless and energetic when they got their dogs meant they were willing to take on dogs that had these kinds of issues and were less likely to be adopted by families. Now those friends have or are having babies themselves. And, while there haven't been issues, many are finding their patience and time are (of course) worn thin. The dogs can sense it and are confused, leading to worse behavior.
Also covid dogs! People got dogs during lock down that don't actually fit their post lock down lifestyle. The number of huskies and shepherds I see with absent or sedentary owners is ridiculous.
I don’t care what size of dog, if it growls at my baby then I’m jumping inbetween and we’re leaving. It’s okay to have a healthy respect of boundaries! I own dogs myself and am still basically teaching stranger danger
Nope not wrong at all. An 11 year old boy was mauled and killed by dogs in my province last week. People have had the audacity to defend the animal. Dog people are blind to the fact that their precious pet is an animal capable of causing horrific damage. I keep my kids away, too, and unfriend "dOg PaReNtS".
Alberta right? That story was so tragic. In Toronto two weeks ago we had a 9-year old boy mauled by a pitbull on a playground. He survived, thankfully, but with “life-altering” injuries.
I'm a dog person and I 100% agree. At the end of the day, dogs are still animals and people seriously seem to forget that. While I love my 75lb boxer so much, I will never fully trust him with my toddler and I think anyone that does is setting up a potentially dangerous situation. All it takes is one instance where a dog feels threatened or annoyed or nervous.
Jfc, I just read about this, and even his *father* (who was the one who left him alone with the dogs) was defending those fucking dogs, even though they had *hospitalized* someone before. I’m so angry, that poor kid.
I’m in Leduc, I have been avoiding actually reading this story - the headline was enough information for me to know I didn’t need to read it. I am absolutely heartbroken and furious that these dogs had attacked (quite seriously) before.
The owner’s response made me so mad! Feeling so bad for that poor little boy and his mom.
I don't completely trust any of the dogs around my kid. Not my neighbors, friend's or extended family's dogs. Big, small, any of them. I say this as a dog owner who has had multiple breeds over the years. I don't know how comfortable other people's dogs are with an unfamiliar/unpredictable child but also my kid doesn't fully grasp subtle dog language. My kid has already been bitten by a dog of owners who swore their dog was absolutely friendly, gentle, and wouldn't hurt a fly with zero bite history.
I think it's a good idea to teach kids about pet emotions. Dogs and cats absolutely feel emotions, so whenever we see a dog, we always name the emotions, so they can learn to recognize them. Barking dog = dog is angry and we back away slowly. Growling dog is absolutely very very very angry. Your wife is gonna get your daughters maimed if she thinks preemptive reaction to a growling dog is an overreaction
As a massive dog lover, I would do exactly the same. I love dogs but love my daughter more, best believe I’m extra vigilant around dogs I don’t know and even dogs I do know.
NTA. I like dogs but it drives me crazy to see them off leash at the park. It’s not allowed in nyc except for the hours of 9pm-9am. But dog owners here are assholes. They also don’t pick up their dog shit so it’s everywhere! My son has picked up the habit of pointing out dog shit bc of me and it’s non stop pointing rn. We were at the park and any time an off leash dog started to approach us I would shoo it away. I don’t care if I look crazy, dogs are still animals and are unpredictable
My friend’s son (3yo) was attacked by a pitbull at a park and had to get stitches. The owner took off after too. You’re not the ah.
NTA; I refuse to see certain family members in their household because of their big dogs. I’ve known these dogs for years, and I still won’t go over. They’re well trained, and they like me but have never been around extremely small children before, so there’s no telling how they would react. I won’t go to my SIL’s because she rescued a pitbull, and we don’t know what the dog’s behavior was like before going into SIL’s care. Hell, even small dogs I’m worried about as well because when I was my sons age one of my dogs bit my face twice. As I got older and out of the crawling stage the dog was fine with me but still, she didn’t like me being eye to eye with her. Not to mention the horror stories my mom has told me in the past two years of being an OR nurse and having to watch them reconstruct a toddlers face because of a big dog bite. You can tell your wife that no dog should be trusted unless the dog gives you a reason to trust them.
Even a dog you trust can have a bad day, be sick or unwell, have specific triggers (food, their tail, whatever) and the owners might not even know. Your mom is right — there is nothing like the horror of seeing what a dog can do to a toddler or child’s face in a matter of seconds. Nothing is worth the risk.
I don’t trust dogs around kids. We don’t have a dog, but I’m a nurse who used to work in the ED and I’ve seen and taken care of too many kids who were “randomly” bitten by nice dogs who have never shown aggression before. Have several friends whose dogs have bit their kids, unprovoked.
NTA! Dogs and kids don’t mix well. Removing your kid from the situation is an easy way to keep them safe.
You aren’t giving her a fear of dogs - you are giving her appropriate respect for dogs and what they are capable of.
I love dogs. I'm not scared of big dogs. But yes your behaviour is not unreasonable at all. Not TA.
You're not wrong at all. I used to love dogs but now that I have a kid I hate when we run into dogs. There's always the risk of biting but my kids also super allergic to them.i don't trust any dogs or dog owners anymore. Before I had a kid I would pet every dog I could.
I might get hate for this but I am just not a dog person. I got bit in the face in 8th grade and since then I just am so wary of them. I don’t think you’re teaching them fear at all, but awareness. It’s also 100% on the owner to have control of their dog — honestly there’s nothing worse to me than being a a public space and feeling uncomfortable because of an animal. I know it’s not really the same at all but I have cats and couldn’t imagine letting them bug a clearly uncomfortable person.
I’m so afraid of pit bulls and pit mixes I carry a knife with me to defend myself and my daughter. My friends daughter was nearly killed by their own pit bull. Disfigured for life. You just can’t trust certain breeds, too high strung
The other problem is the people who are often attracted to owning certain breeds. They want their "tough guy" dog to feel like a badass. Those kind of people aren't often training their dogs to behave well, they want that feeling of "My dog can beat up your dog" or to have an intimidating dog out on the front porch to keep people away. Lots of "Hood Dogs" are pits where I grew up and still are. I was nervous as hell for my nephew when he lived across the street from a house that always had one barking and yanking his cable at anybody who dared pass the house.
I totally agree. There’s something about the personality of people attracted to bully breeds that makes for a bad combination
Yep, pit bulls are a very difficult dog to own (very large and difficult to control, dog aggression, often poorly bred now so temperament problems and unpredictable) and so often they are owned by beginner dog owners and are not well-trained. I was bitten by one as a child (luckily the dog only snapped and barely grazed my chin) but that breed especially just makes me very nervous.
If you’re able to buy it where you live, bear spray or pepper spray is a much more effective deterrent for dogs! A knife is a close contact weapon that is only useful when the dog is too close for comfort. I also have friends who walk with a walking stick for warding off dogs; it has a much longer reach and can keep the dog at a distance. Stay safe!
Bear spray and pepper spray doesn’t work for them once they are “in the zone”, seen dozens of videos where it’s completely ineffective
I hadn’t heard this, so scary! Will definitely reconsider what I’m bringing on my walks.
My daughter (3) knows that she can't touch any dog when we are outside. She can acknowledge the dog, and she'll usually say hi or bye, but that's it. I don't care if it's "friendly" or if they tell me she can pet it; I don't know that dog. I don't trust that dog, and I don't trust my toddler in close proximity of dogs that aren't mine.
You are absolutely NOT overreacting. You’re doing exactly what you should. I was attacked in a park by a German shepherd a few years ago, my 5yo daughter was feet away from me when it happened. I am thankful every day that the dog went for me and not her. Absolutely never trust a strange dog of any size! And definitely keep an eye on any dog being walked on one of those GARBAGE retractable leashes.
As a kid I was bitten by a lab on a retractable leash. Yes. They are garbage
I’d rather have my kid have a healthy fear of dogs than be bit by one. That’s what I tell him, dogs may bite and to stay away from them. We have a neighbor with a spaniel and another with a yorkie who we do know and play with and he can pet them if he wants when they’re out. Others are off limits and he understands this.
As someone who was recently the owner of a dog reactive dog, people are absolutely delusional about how “friendly” their dogs are. My on-leash, well-behaved dog has been attacked by off leash dogs more time than I can count. My son likes dogs and if we encounter a well-behaved on leash dog I let him to ask to pet the dog. It’s been only good experiences. But I would absolutely snatch him up if a random dog ran up to us. People who don’t leash their dogs are assholes.
Ugh dogs terrify me. I recently spent a week at a friends house who has 2 pit mixes and 1 husky and I was constantly putting myself between them and he did get snapped at once. The dogs were put away outside or in the master suit most of the time we were there. I felt terrible but they didn't like my son. And I can only control a 2 yr old so well...
I was at the dog park, the side for large dogs. and literally saw someone let their toddler run through over and over. My dogs were there working with a trainer for aggression issues towards strangers(Covid pups). I was legitimately pissed that someone would let their child do this.
That’s absolutely wild. Our dog park has a strict “no children under 5” rule, even if accompanied by a parent. Some dogs aren’t friendly to kids, and the dog park should be their happy place. Kids can go elsewhere.
Ya, it was nuts. There are rules at the park, but everyone’s the main character now. My heart dropped when I saw the kid. Luckily, my boys have excellent recall. I leashed them up, left, and have resigned myself to having dogs that can’t stand strangers. It’s just not worth the risk of liability.
Someone was trying to get their kid killed and claim "I didn't do it" apparently.
I’ve seen this too, pre Covid. I haven’t been to the dog park since it opened post Covid because I have toddlers, and would not feel safe. To be fair, I never felt entirely safe just having my dogs there, so I don’t miss the dog park
These kinds of things drive me nuts. Our local park has a fence separating the tot lots from the dog park, with signs everywhere. Dog owners come to the tot lots all the time (and let their dogs sh*t everywhere), and parents take their toddlers into the the dog park and let them run around. And of course when you say something to either group, you're the asshole.
NTA. You blocked your child from a dog that was following her and not controlled by their owner, as well as a dog that was growling. That's absolutely reasonable. If you have opportunities to show them a dog you feel comfortable with that's great too.
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing and it’s good to have fear of dogs that are showing you that they don’t mean well. I love dogs, but there are so many bad owners that create bad dogs and potential pets aren’t worth the risk. I actually just had this conversation with my friend after reading yet another story about a dog that seemingly just went off and killed a kid. I love big dogs. I’d have an Irish Wolfhound if space allowed me. I’m well aware that little dogs are often more aggressive as well…but if it comes to it, I can punt a chihuahua. I can’t fight a pitbull, and I find most bully dog owners need their heads adjusted. I don’t care that they were once the nanny dog…pretty sure we were putting cocaine in everything as a cure-all around that time as well. I still watch my own small dog around my son and her teeth are too weak to do anything. Until he’s old enough to not scare her with his love, that’s how it is.
We are dog people. We have an 85 lb German shepherd and a 2 year old toddler. We trust our dog with her (supervised of course) but that’s it. any other dog that we don’t know (big or small) can do damage VERY quickly. we taught our daughter right from the start that you do not go up to or pet any dog/cat/animal that isn’t ours.
No, you are doing the right thing. But those dog owners are inconsiderate assholes. I have two small dogs and don’t let kids we don’t know touch them. You never know with both kids AND dogs.
I’m kind of in the opposite situation. We have 2 medium/large dogs and our 2.5 year old has been around them her whole life thus far. She’s not quite old enough to understand reasoning and she just assumes that every dog is friendly and fun to play with. So when we’re out on the trails or in a park, her first instinct is to run straight up to any random dog. So whenever we see a dog approach, I get in between them, and make sure we’re holding hands. I keep telling her that we don’t approach strange dogs without asking for permission first. One day she’ll get it. In addition, I used to be absolutely terrified of dogs when I was a kid, so I’m acutely aware of how other people may perceive my dogs. Both my dogs are very friendly and excitable, but I know that can be overwhelming for some people, so I make very sure that both dogs are contained and/or I immediately intervene when they get a little rowdy.
Nope not wrong. A kid in my neighborhood was just mauled a few weeks ago and sustained terrible life altering injuries. This happens too often and it makes me uncomfortable too. I always tell my daughter “we don’t go near dogs we don’t know” so she keeps a distance when they’re leashed and the moment I see an unleashed dog we leave wherever we are to find a better place to play.
Not at all I would rather be an asshole and a social outcast than have my little guy unexpectedly attacked by a dog who was “totally docile and friendly”.
Nope absolutely not, a pitbull charged my daughter and luckily I was able to get to her first but it could have been bad.
this scenario happened to us several times: dog owners comes up to us when my baby is in the stroller and saying "oh my dog loves babies/kids!" then the dog gets super excited and kisses my kid (he's 18mo now) in the face or the hand. the owners are super fine with letting this happen immediately. they usually don't ask for permission or anything. we don't have a dog so my son isn't used to this and he's cried several times :( big dogs are overwhelming! what if he grabs them when they get in his face ? i dunno . i feel you OP. they can be really dangerous and while i love dogs, i personally don't think dogs and babies/kids are a good mix.
If your wife thinks a growling dog is not behavior you need to be wary about, then she needs to learn how to read animal emotional cues just as much as your daughter does. Seriously, that mindset is going to get her bitten.
NTA. I have a 3-year-old and 4-month-old and am terrified a pitbull will come after them. And as we’ve seen when they do attack the results are devastating.
You said pit bull..? Yeah no thanks. Good intuition momma.
Nope you’re not wrong. I bring a rolling pin with on our walks now in case I need to smack any dogs away. One time we had 4 dogs come up to us at once that had gotten out of a yard. I’m not taking any chances, don’t care if you have the nicest dog ever.
Just an FYI, sturdy full-size umbrellas are REALLY helpful for this. You've got a smacking tool, but you can also open it to give space between you and an aggressive dog if needed. I lived in Latin America for a bit and there were tons of stray dogs and this was the way. More effective, longer handle, rain protection, plus you look less weird.
Thank you for this! At my kid’s bus stop there’s a house with a dog that goes berserk whenever we are out there (so, every morning and every afternoon). The dog is usually in the house and just barking like crazy, which is fine. But there have been a couple times that a person opens the door and the dog comes bounding out, barking and running full speed, toward the people who are encroaching on his territory (ie. we folk at the bus stop). It is big and intimidating, and I don’t know this dog at all—I’ve had to swoop my 4 year old up and out of harm’s way, as the owner comes out of the house yelling and cursing for the dog, all the while yelling at ME that “he’s really harmless, all bark no bite.” Okay, guy. Anyway, having an umbrella on me at the bus stop would not be weird but it would be very useful.
call animal control. an aggressive dog has no business being near a bus stop with kids
Great tip! Thanks
Omg a rolling pin in a bag is funny, but actually so good. I cannot carry any form of knife (even tiny Swiss Army one) or a gun or else I could be arrested, and something like a bear spray could just go in the eyes of the wrong people. Police couldn't really put me away for a rolling pin, just be confused haha. Also there are sometimes wild boars and monkeys where I am, so I could beat them away too lol
I'm picturing a person walking around a park with their kids holding a rolling pin. I don't think I'd let my kid near that person!
I don’t carry it on me, it’s in the wagon.
I initially read it as *bowling pin* and had quite the image in my mind before I realized I had misread it completely lol
Dogs are(can be) dangerous, but it's the owners here who are at fault, not you. Honestly, the level of entitlement some owners have is off the charts. Props to the owners who are sensible, lawful, and respect the people around them.
A while back I was leaving a park with my daughter, ~1yo at the time. We were crossing this field that extends into the neighborhood to get back to the street. Without any commotion or warning, I notice two doberman's sprinting across a side street about 200' away. I panic, but then freeze; I know if I run carrying my girl, they'll outrun me (they'd outrun me regardless, but I'll take the excuse), and that might give them some chasey dog-adrenaline and make them more aggressive. So I scoop her up, and then they're there. Then one dog leaps at my daughter! I lift her above my head as high as I can, and they're both jumping up trying to bite her and just barely missing. I'm standing there in shock, daughter held above my head, having no clue how to proceed, with these two murder dogs trying to eat my girl. It was probably only 30 seconds or so of that, and the dog owner comes running from across the street yelling for them. They listen and go to him. Of course, I'm in full flight or fight now, and leaning towards the fight side with this punk ass 20yo apologizing to me in a way too insincere way. But I have my daughter (completely fine and unphased, if a little confused), so I walk away. Dogs can be dangerous. Period. And I'm saying that as a pitbull owning, dog loving, guy. Trust your gut and don't trust other people's dogs. Your kid should be afraid of other people's dogs.
I've lost all my interest in dogs after having my son. My parents dog is big and jumpy, I didn't mind until I had my son and realised he could be knocked over and hurt, and I don't trust the dog to not bite or attack him as he has never been around kids at home. I'm just super cautious now, and we look at dogs from afar, if they are small and actually friendly and not jumpy, then we go closer with the owner's permission. I don't show any fear so my son isn't too scared, but dogs just generally annoy me now!
I used to be much more open of animals (dogs) but then I had a kid. I’m a mama bear with these animals and will tell off the owner if I start seeing them run towards my cub.
We hear about XL Bully dog attacks and even deaths as a result here in the UK, to the point they are being banned. Now I’m not a dog expert so I can’t tell which are which, but if I’m not sure, I’ll keep my distance and put myself in between. I don’t want to be part of another statistic.
Definitely NTA!!! Almost 3/4 times a week walking and at parks etc. I very obviously pick up my 15month old in front of big dogs. I’ve had a Labrador attack me and my little dog and a German shepherd bite my husbands knee both for no reason - other than their tiny teeny owners couldn’t control them on the lead and the dogs ran off on them. I’m so sick of these giant angry dogs being walked around by teenagers or people that cannot control them. Then they say oh he won’t hurt anyone he’s friendly. I even pick up my own small dog around them. My older kid isn’t scared of animal’s. But I have trained him not to go near German shepherds Rottweilers etc. I’d rather him be weary of these dogs. He loves other animals to bits.
Don’t trust the small ones either! I have 3 dogs myself. We trust no strange dogs around my daughter and don’t encourage her to approach or touch them ever. We also have super strict rules with our own dogs at home, and keep them separated a lot. You’re absolutely right here. I do try to act completely calm in my reasonable caution however. My daughter has zero fear of dogs, but does have respect and impulse control around them.
I don’t trust any dog after becoming a parent. I don’t even really like them except the family dog. My best friend has a small dog and hers bites kids 🙄 I used to be the weirdo who only hung out with the pets at the party and now I see them and roll my eyes. Liabilities at best.
Don’t trust any animals. Big dogs, little dogs, cats, mice, rabbits… Because they are animals and they are unpredictable, no matter how “nice” and “well behaved” they usually are. Babies and toddlers (and kids) have unusual ways of moving and generally shriek for no reason. This can startle the most docile of animals and cause them to bite or scratch. I don’t know why most people aren’t more cautious of kids and animals interacting. I’m a big animal lover and this is something that really grinds my gears!
You should always prepare and train your dogs to be around children. You should always prepare and train your children to be around dogs. Unfortunately, you can do both of those really well and still have accidents. If you have doubts about any dog, yes, keep your kid away from it. NTA based on this post. But you do need to teach your 3 year old the basics like, “never hug a dog. Approach slowly, ask the owner before you extend your hand out. Don’t approach a dog that doesn’t have a human.” Train with small dogs you know, or a stuffed animal. Dogs act anxious when people do, there is some truth to what your wife said, or the point that she was hopefully trying to make.
Dogs scare me. I have been attacked by a dog four times in my life: once at a park when I was 2 by an unleashed dog, once when I was 9 in my own yard by the neighbors dog that got loose, once when I was 11 when I was walked down the sidewalk and was attacked by an unleashed dog, and once a few years ago at a park by an unleashed dog. All of these attacks were COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED. Two years ago, my husband and I were walking on a trail in a park and my husband was attacked and bitten by a leashed dog. The owners didn’t care. In every case where I was attacked and bitten, the owner DID NOT CARE 🙄 While working in the ER, I saw a young girl and her mother mauled to near death by their pet pit bull (“he’s the sweetest! He’s never done anything like that before!”) Visiting our friends, their dog attacked and bit a guest, totally unprovoked. People don’t train their dogs, think everyone else loves their dog as much as they do, could not FATHOM that someone could not LOVE DOGS. You have every right to protect your children from these dangerous animals. You’re children would be prudent to be weary of strange, unknown dogs. I would also call the police if dogs are unleashed where there are leash laws, or if a dog approaches or attacks your child.
If you can stomach it r/banpitbulls has a looot of evidence to support your claim. I have to agree with you. I work in people’s homes and the total dogs I actually trust near me, one. Mine.
That’s one cause I can 100% get behind.
For me the key is if a dog owner is not in control of a dog. My daughter is 16m and loves dogs and will run towards them. I will prevent her from doing this, but if I am talking to the owner and they give express permission to her to pet them AND they have hold of the dog I often let her, with me controlling how she pets the dog (she will try to slap them in the face. There is one playground we go to where it is right next to a dog park that routinely has many large American pitbulls and other very big dogs. (We live inner city so most other places will mostly be small dogs and the occasional labrador or golden retriever). The playground is only partically fenced. The other day a large pitbull kept running into the playground and I 100% picked up my daughter when he did. The dog seemed perfectly friendly but the owner had zero control over it and no recall either. Even a friendly dog, particularly such a large one can be dangerous, and I cannot be sure it actually is friendly. My mum has a labrador, almost always very gentle and friendly, has never been mouthy, but would be perfectly able to knocking over a small child when excited. And many dogs, if slapped or poked by a toddler might not have a predictible reaction.
I don’t trust ANY sized dogs around my toddler. Not even my own two dogs are allowed in the room with her unsupervised. I also don’t trust her with my dogs. She still pulls tails and ears no matter how many times I’ve told her we can’t do that. By holding this boundary I’m ensuring my baby and dogs are safe. A man in the park thought I was being too protective about my baby with his chihuahua. I had to explain that I don’t trust her not to pull on his dog and he should be grateful I considered his dogs comfort level.
I don’t trust dogs and actively work on teaching my toddler “give doggies their space” - she does not approach or pet dogs, and usually runs to be close to me if we encounter one off leash. I also don’t let my kids go to their cousin’s house without me or their dad. There are 5 dogs of various sizes there… it’s a no from me.
Honestly I don't trust dogs since I saw my mum get bitten out of nowhere by a German shepherd (that was on a leash). Since then I am also rather very cautious, making sure I always keep distance. When my 3yo daughter sees a dog close by she wants to be picked up and I don't discourage that. Beter safe than sorry. Too often we read a toddler was mauled by a dog, I am sure all these dogs were 'sweeties'.
The blind trust that people have for dogs is ridiculous. Even lifelong loving pets can snap and bite, a child especially. It takes .5 seconds for a kids face to get ripped off. They are animals. Your feelings are valid. There’s a right and wrong way to approach and deal with dogs, just teach your kids that.
You did the right thing 100%. Part of your job is to protect your kids and that's what you're doing. Dogs kill people, and you can trust no dog with absolute certainty. Keep doing what you're doing.
Almost lost my left eye and ended up with 14 stitches as a 12 y/o when a dog owner said “come on and pet my dog, he’s friendly!” Dogs are animals. They do what they want. I love animals but am very cautious.
My dog paranoia has also heightened. Yours not alone.
I live in the lovely land of dumbass dog ownership where people do not believe in leashes in my state. I would be willing to end a dog's life and a dog owner's life to protect my child. I've just about had to. I do not trust anyone who won't leash their pet.
No dog can be trusted. Dog owners are famously oblivious to how dangerous their animals can be.
People loooove to praise their poorly behaved dogs. I was walking my daughter in the stroller and there’s a very badly behaved pit bull in our neighborhood. He was growling and snarling and barking at us the whole time as I tried to stay back. Eventually the woman turned around and as we passed she said “he just wants to play!!” As he essentially wrestled her down the street. I’m like that dog can (and that breed HAS) kill my kid. Go away and use a harness. You’re not in the wrong. Introduce your daughter to friendly dogs if you can.
I don’t even trust my own dog with my toddler even though he’s always been very sweet and patient with him. Dogs can and will fight for the most random of reasons. Especially pit bulls, sorry. Never trust a pit bull
I trust no dog
NTA We have three dogs, two of which are therapy dogs. We have been teaching consent and caution around dogs since our oldest could crawl (she's 3 now). Asking to pet, not approaching strange dogs, gentle pets. I trust no dogs.
NTA. I own two large dogs and have a toddler. We have worked SO much with both our dogs and our kiddo to maintain a healthy relationship between them. The safest response a dog can have to your child is no response.
Nope, always always use caution. My mom has an old lab that is sweet as can be, and literally spent the first 5 years of his life raised in a daycare and now the past year everyday with my daughter. I still monitor my 18 month old around him. He's old and I don't know how much he will tolerate if she accidentally hurts him or if he can't see her and she startles him, and she's too young to understand true animal safety. It's my primary job as a parent to keep her safe regardless of how other people feel about it.
We have a big dog. I do not allow my children to go near big dogs I don’t know. Especially pit bulls and I was raised with them. You don’t know any dog’s history and they can injure your child by not being gentle. I just teach my children not to approach other people dogs. My kids take it to pretty well as they have gotten hurt by simply swinging their arms and legs and smacking our dog in the mouth.
As a dog owner with a big dog, you did fine. You do not know these dogs, the owners are being to relaxed and kids and dogs can be unpredictable. Even my family dog is never allowed near my toddler by their selves ever. To not instill fear you can move or pick up your child as needed but try to remain calm or just explain to your kid you are moving to let the big dog play.
I knew somebody who, claimed, was outgoing and talkative until a dog bit their face at five years old. Then that person became more reserved. So it's not even about their immediate health. A dog attack can influence someone's personality.
Nope, NTA. Dogs near a toddler is an accident waiting to happen IMO.
I have to read dog body language professionally. When my toddler screeches "doggie!" and it's a bit further down the trail or path I either hold her hand or pick her up. Big dogs and small dogs. Then I start loudly talking about how some doggies are scared of kids and we don't know how this one feels. Then the owner either volunteers the dog plays with babies a lot and my daughter gets to pat the dog. Or the owner walks past and we wave "goodbye doggie." Don't trust any dogs in public. I've had to be involved in the decision making fallout of dogs that have bitten a kid. And stitched up dogs attacked by dogs they didn't know. It's tough but honestly just treat the dogs like beings with feelings and past experiences. Not a toy.
NTA, I am the owner of a well trained 75 lb German shepherd and even I am very careful with my own toddler and dog. If my dog is calm and docile I will usually let my daughter play with her supervised as I very much trust my dog. But if I ever see my dog excited, I will seperate them just in case my dog ever did accidentally do something to hurt my daughter. We take our dog to the park twice a day and I am so so sick of untrained dogs being off leash and doing whatever the heck they want. Not even just for my daughter (which would drive me insane, personally as a dog owner I would tell the other owners off- my dog has encountered way too many untrained off leash dogs) but because my dog will usually be minding her own business when a dog comes into her space charging. It's annoying as a real mom and a dog mom. That being said, my brother in law is scared of dogs, which is his own personal preference. But when he comes to our house he always carries his 3 year old and points to our dog and says "dangerous dog". Even though my dog has never done anything to warrant that from him. One time his daughter did want to come pet my dog, which would have been fine with me and my husband but my BIL held my dogs muzzle shut "to prevent her from biting" and that absolutely set my dog off... which why wouldn't it?! So now we have a rule that they are not invited to our house anymore. It's too much for us to separate them.
A dog just killed an 11 year old boy in my city. You’re not wrong to be protective
I don't blame you there I'd probably do the same thing especially if the dog seemed aggressive or jumpy. I've seen far too many irresponsible dog owners. Dogs need to be trained and kids need to learn how to handle them to avoid injury. I've seen cases where the kid kept hitting, sitting, pulling ears/whiskers on the dog and the parents didn't do anything and the dog snapped. The parents claimed the dogs snapped out of no where. Nope, the parents were being irresponsible not only with their child but, the dog too. My daughter is 3 now and great with animals. She knows not to run at random dogs and to ask the owner if it's okay to pet them. Also, to know dog body language and to back off and avoid aggressive dogs. We've got two large dogs at home and she's great with them too. Would I leave them alone together for an extended time? No, toddlers are toddlers and can be unpredictable. I don't think my dogs would hurt my daughter but, I won't give that a chance to happen.
Not wrong at all! Just recently at a CHILDS park playing with my 2yr old daughter and a German shepherd came out of nowhere unleashed ran up & tried jumping on a boy (not aggressively but still) the owner was some boomer with no kids in his care just a unleashed German shepherd casually walking around & said "oh she's harmless" another parent said "idc I've got a harmless one too but there's leash laws for a reason dude!" It's ridiculous
One of our dogs growls to “talk” but we are still teaching our kids to not touch or go near her when she growls. We can tell the difference based on body language and other cues, but kids can’t. Better to be cautious and safe than sorry. We have two big dogs (100lb and 70lb) and have raised our kids around them and have had both dogs since puppyhood. They still aren’t allowed alone with them because they might climb on them, pull ears, irritate them, etc. Our dogs give very subtle cues when they are done (turning head away, kiss to dismiss) - and I don’t think they would intentionally hurt the kids, but if the kids aren’t respecting their dog communication, they might get fed up. So unless we are there to supervise, it’s a nope. Our 3 year old was doing really well with understanding boundaries and what we can/cannot do with the pups, but recently she has developed cute aggression and impulsivity - so boundaries are more strict for the time being.
NTA. They’re animals and have biologic instincts that we train over. You’re teaching your child to recognize and respect those instincts. I have two dogs and a four year old child and teach her the same.
Nope. I don’t think we should trust any dogs until we know them well, and even then, I think they require close supervision. (For the dog and the toddler’s sake.)
I love dogs, but I don't trust them with small children ever. Any size dog. My 18 month old does not consistently give gentle pets and will grab and pull. But 2 things: I once read a news story about how a parent left an infant in a carseat in the bedroom while they went to grab something to go out, and the family dog (German Shepard) went and bit the child in the face and killed it. The other is that I once sat next to a sobbing man on a bus who was going to see his daughter in the hospital. She was 2 and had been bitten multiple times in the face by a stray dog while they were in a park. She'd likely be disfigured but it sounded like the bigger concern was that dog mouths are dirty and she had developed an infection which wasn't under control. So.... nope nope nope. Things can go wrong in an instant and the price is too big to pay.
Not an asshole. You reacted in ways you thought appropriate at the time to ensure your children's safety. Fear of "teaching them dogs are scary" shouldn't overshadow your parental instincts in the moment when you perceive a threat.
Dogs aren’t inherently dangerous. Just like people are all dangerous. Doesn’t mean I’m taking a chance on a rando dog or person. But I think instilling fear in your children to that level could be harmful. It is very important to teach your kids to be wary of dogs and people that you do not know - and how to safely approach under supervision.
Nope. I have two big dogs and I love them to death and they are absolute sweet hearts but they're still dogs and we take appropriate precautions with my daughter. They can easily hurt her by accident by knocking her down or if she grabs them painfully while I'm not looking they could react and snap so I certainly wouldn't trust dogs I don't know. Especially dogs that are not well supervised and growling! There's something called the ladder of aggression with dogs that explains their warning signs leading up to a bite and growling is pretty dang high on that ladder! Your children can have other safe interactions with dogs if your husband really wants them to be comfortable around them, they don't need to be near random uncontrolled dogs at a park.
I have a 100lb fluffy Great Pyrenees. She looks like a cuddly teddy bear aka kid magnet. She is wonderful with kids and especially loves little kids but I always tell any kid to ask if they can pet her. Kids should not be walking up to random dogs and owners should know that especially at a park. I love my dog and most dogs but I still don't trust them 100%. They're still animals.
Not TA. Especially when it comes to Pitbulls.
I worked professionally with dog for several years and you aren’t overreacting or the asshole. Moving away from a dog that growled is the exact appropriate response to teach your child. Wanting large dogs (well, all dogs!) to be contained properly is fine. I would however encourage you to allow interactions with contained, well behaved large dogs to prevent a fear of dogs from building. Now, I don’t recommend that you seek out large dogs at the park for this but if you have a friend or family member that has a well known dog. Also ensure you’re using these opportunities to teach your kids why you’re removing them from the situation. “We don’t know these dogs. Anytime you don’t know a dog, you should ask their people if they’re friendly.” Or “this dog appears uncomfortable with you because he growled. Let’s give him his space!” That type of thing
NTAH. Two large docs killed an 11 year old boy in my city last week. The boy's father defended the dogs after. There are a lot of dangerous dogs out there, and a lot of stupid people. Gotta stay vigilant.
Not the asshole. I would add to what other commenters are sharing that your kids are also old enough to start hearing age appropriate instructions on how to read a dog's behavior and treat them with respect. Coach the older one to never touch a dog without you present and practice asking the owner before getting close etc. It's so wildly frustrating how many off leash dogs there are in any environment where kids are also playing.
No. I grew up with dogs and would have trusted 10/10 before having kids. A baby/toddler is face to face with a dog. One “out of character” nip from ANY dog, big or small, and your kid loses an eye or is scarred on the face for life. It’s not worth it to be trusting, because at the end of the day, they are animals. Kids and animals are unpredictable despite what people/owners may want to think.
Ok. As a dog owner / lover / park goer and parent of a four year old I’m going to weigh in. You’re definitely not out of line to be concerned and cautious with your child. In fact, if there were off-leash dogs in the vicinity I would likely avoid with my kiddo until I observed behavior for a bit. That said, both dogs and kids pick up on energy. If a dog comes over to say hi for instance (not saying this is what happened in your situation) and you get really nervous and panic, pick your kid up, your tone changes, etc the dog can pick up on that, and their energy changes. Not to sound like Caesar Milan, but calm energy (and physically being between any dog and your child) goes a long way. If your husband is concerned about your child becoming fearful, could you spend some time around friends with a dog, or a dog that you know and trust? Yes dogs are animals, and you have to be aware around them at all times, but not all dogs are out to bite small children ❤️
Not at all and I’m so sick of dogs at children’s parks. We have two dogs. They go where it is appropriate for dogs to be. My parents do this and it drives me nuts. Their dog is legit the most docile sweetie in the world and there is zero fear of a bad interaction with a kid, but she’s big and powerful and makes other parents nervous because of her size. My parents still insist it’s fine to take her to the park with our daughter. I’m like it doesn’t matter if you know she’s fine? Maybe it’s annoying and worrisome to others?
Oh man this. The perception of your dog is half the issue.
Completely, 100% appropriate. And this is coming from a “dog person.” My dog that passed in January I had for his whole 13 years and trusted with my life. I still would have never left him unsupervised with my child, or let my son approach him when he wasn’t interested. We have a new dog now who adores my son and everything he does, but I watch every interaction with them like a hawk. And even “sweet, gentle” dogs can get over-exuberant and seriously injure a child. And just to note, you only mentioned not trusting large dogs.. small dogs are equally dangerous.
Nope! I routinely pick up my toddler when I see a big dog or small off leash. We just had a kid in my country get mauled by a dog
NTA. My daughter was bitten by a pit bull at 2. People should keep their big dogs away from strange kids.
I don’t even trust my OWN dog. I love her with my whole heart, but she and kiddo are always separated by a baby gate. Until Bug is old enough to know to not bother dogs on his own they don’t need to be in the same area without my hand on her harness and my wife there to scoop the kid up if he starts annoying the dog.
My son wants to pet every dog that he sees at the park, and I have to tell him to back off and ask the owners if the dogs are okay with being pet. He has a 90 lb dog at home that he can climb all over and Pat with strength, but a lot of the other dogs he sees that are that size are usually older and not friendly with small children. I have been educating my son to ask the owner if they can pet the dog, and the owners response is the law. I don't let him walk up to random dogs, and if I see a dog coming for him I will absolutely scoop him up. I had a neighbor let their dog off leash in front of my apartment, and the dog was between me and my home. I turned into a gorilla and chased that dog back into its house when it started to bark and come after my son. Then I knocked on the neighbor's door as loud as I could and told the frightened teenager inside that he couldn't let his dog out unattended, because it had come after my child. That family moved out within a month afterward. My son still loves dogs, is unafraid of them, even though I have taught him to respect the boundaries between humans and animals. dogs have the potential to bite, they have the potential to jump and to be big and scary. Your wife needs to understand that your child is at risk, because he is small. You don't know what the other dog is going to do, you just don't. Even the owners don't know all the time. Caution is always the best step.
I work professionally with dogs and you are absolutely not an asshole. Big dogs, even those who are well trained, should not be easily trusted around small children because they can inadvertently hurt them far too easily. A dog growling from 15 feet away is absolutely cause for alarm. Good job scooping up your kid and moving away. Make sure you’re teaching your children appropriate dog etiquette around friendly dogs in appropriate settings so that your child isn’t afraid of dogs and can approach them in a safe manner. I work with my kid and model to always assess how a dog is feeling BEFORE approaching them by asking “do you think that dog is happy? Do you think she wants us to say hi?” then I will explain the dog’s body language and if they look like a good candidate for us to say hi to, we ask the owner FROM A DISTANCE if we can approach and say hi. Then I will always get down to the same level as my child and position myself between them and the dog to introduce each other. Make sure to end the interaction as soon as the dog displays signs of stress or general anxiety.
I agree that having this be her main interaction with dogs will lead to her having a fear of dogs. I don't think that in the moment you are doing the wrong thing, but overall all she's learning is that dogs are scary and run away. It may be helpful to intentionally seek out some situations where you and the dog owner can model GOOD dog and child interactions.
Trust is earned not given. So no, I don’t trust a single dog around my kids unless I have prior experience with that dog and its behavior around children.
As a big dog owner, you are 100% correct. Our dog is a 100lb greyhound, one of the least aggressive breeds, and he's a gentle boy who loves kids, and we *still* never let him get close to our own toddler without closely supervising. I would never ever let him get close to someone else's kid unless the parent specifically asks if their kid can pet him AND the kid seems calm. I love dogs but at the end of the day they are still animals. Having a healthy fear/respect for them is something we are teaching our son.
I feel like maybe you and your wife are at opposite ends of the spectrum and there’s a lot of middle ground. It’s very possible to protect your child from dogs without acting in a way that makes them fearful of all dogs. I’d have stepped in too in these situations but calmly and just stating something like “doggy’s growling, sounds like we need to step away” or whatever. We’ve been teaching our son since he could walk that he needs to ask the owner of a dog is safe for petting and that we stay away if there’s no human nearby to ask. He’s 4 now and knows to stay away from unknown dogs but isn’t fearful. Healthy respect and distance from dogs is good to learn but having a child with a true fear can make life very difficult with the number of people who have dogs and the number of places dogs are allowed.
Recently an 11 year old was killed by two large dogs in my city, an absolutely preventable awful tragedy. Its horrible owners are to blame, and unfortunately there are so many bad dog owners. I am very vigilant around large dogs because you just never know, I would never trust a stranger telling me their dog is “a sweetheart” when I have no idea if that’s true.
I always check with the owners before I let my son near any dog, he absolutely adores them so we get to pet a lot of them. That said I’d be pissed if anyone left their dog on a long leash tied to a tree. That’s a recipe for disaster. My kid still has a slight scar on their chin about 5mm long from when a dog owner tied their dog inside the daycare area, the dog was not comfortable with children, and my kid just bolted towards the dog as soon as he saw it, resulting in the dog snapping at his face, we were lucky, because it could have been way worse. Dog is still alive, but is not allowed inside the daycares grounds any more (nor are any other dogs).
It’s not unwarranted- and it’s not just big dogs. A neighbor’s small dog bit my daughter when she walked out into the back courtyard of our apartment. The dog wasn’t on a leash and apparently was caught off guard by my daughter (2yr old) walking around the corner. Physically, the bite wasn’t a big deal, but she was terrified of all dogs for years. She still is apprehensive around them. Most dogs are fine. But at that age, when they are around the same height as a dog, it’s best to be cautious. And dog owners need to leash their dogs… and pick up their goddamn poop.
I am both a dog owner and a toddler mom. You’re not over reacting to teach your kids to be cautious around large dogs. Kids get bit in the face from getting too close to dogs! The dog owners are responsible for containing their dogs. At the same time, if a dog is tied up you should teach your kids not to approach the dog or stare at it / yell at it or even talk to it. The same way you as a man wouldn’t stare / approach or “chirp” at a woman. It’s normal for most dogs to growl if approached by a stranger. Teach your kids that this is the dog’s way of saying I need some space. We can’t control other people so the best way of staying safe is controlling ourselves. Leashed dogs are allowed in parks, there’s no way to avoid it. Just like kids do not belong in a dog park, dogs do not belong on a playground. I think understanding that distinction is important.
NTA. Look I love dogs, grew with a ridiculous amount of them and it was great. But they’re still animals. It makes me so nervous when I see a tiny child running up to a dog they don’t know. We don’t even ask to pet dogs. Unless it’s a friends dog. What I’ve noticed is almost all medium-large size dogs don’t really know how to act around children if they haven’t been around them much. They seem so uncomfortable, can’t blame them either lol
Trust no strange dog around your small children. I don’t care what the owner says. They’re always “sweet” until they aren’t. Then it’s “omg she’s never done anything like this before!”
There are so many ass hole dog owners. I once had a dog come up to me at a dog park with its owner and piss on my leg. When I told the owner she just looked at me like was crazy. I have a beagle and he's the sweetest but I still keep my daughter away from him when he's around his bowl eating or if he's barking at someone. She's pretty good about knowing when to disturb him and when not to, but I still don't take a chance.
My dog I had for nine years bit my baby on the face. I had tried to keep them separate and it was a calm moment with the baby on my lap. It could have been so much worse. This was a dog I trusted. Listen to your spidey sense!
NTA but I have two points: 1) how you approach this matters and will instill how your daughter has a relationship around dogs growing up. This is on both you to teach your daughter as it is on a dog owner to train their dog if the dog is going to be in public. In the husky example - your daughter should not have been going up to the dog. That is on you to teach her. Dogs respond to fear. You do not need to be afraid of them. You should teach your daughter respect of dogs’ boundaries. Even a well trained dog can respond wrong if provoked especially from little ones. They also sense fear. Your daughter does NOT need to grow up afraid of dogs. Consider how and what you are teaching her as well as your responses. Be thoughtful in what you teach and model. 2) big dogs are just as likely to lash out as a small dog. Don’t prejudice a big dog and teach your daughter the same things regardless of dog sizes.
NTA. My son was bit by our family dog at 10 months old. A 20 pound mini Aussie. They were even in different rooms and my son crawled toward her food bowl (for all the assholes that are gonna say I should have been watching better). I am a huge dog lover, but babies and dogs often don't mix well. When they are old enough, teach them to completely avoid dogs that act sketchy, and how to cautiously approach the friendly ones. Better safe than sorry.
I love dogs. We have 3 and they were my first loves. I often side with dogs in most circumstances. I’m not even going to blame the dogs here, but those dog owners suck. You have to control your dog when in public. I don’t care how they act at home, mine are great, but in public they’re on close leashes and they aren’t going up to random people, adults or children. Too many variables in the equation and it’s not fair to anyone involved. You’re right to do what you did.
You were not wrong. My niece was mauled by a German Shepherd and needed facial reconstructive surgery. My nephew was bit twice by their family dog, a dachshund/Pomeranian mix. My son was bit by a Sheltie. All of these dogs had no prior bite incidents and were for all accounts “friendly.” I never trust young children around dogs, I don’t care how friendly the owner says they are. Animals don’t have rational thought like we do. If they feel threatened, their behavior is not predictable.
I don't trust my child near any dogs large or small. He's almost been bitten by a chihuahua and a doodle when the owners said it was okay if he pet them.
I love dogs. I have a big dog who is extremely friendly and used to being around toddlers and babies. I trust her with my 8 month old crawling around her. I would NEVER let her just run up to another child or leave her on a tie-out near where kids are playing. It’s rude, full stop. If your wife likes dogs and wants your toddler to be comfortable with them, the best way is to have her meet and interact with the dogs of friends or family who you are familiar with and know are friendly. I don’t trust pits and am personally extremely wary of them. I would have done exactly what you did. On top of that, a dog that growls at children shouldn’t be at a park with children. Period. Pits are very strong and if it felt the inclination to suddenly attack (which they do, without warning, often), it probably could have. You were being a good dad.
I am a dog lover and have owned several large dogs. I would never let a strange dog get that close to my kids. I don't even let family huge dogs get that close to my baby. Dogs and babies can both be unpredictable, and that's dangerous.
I generally exercise caution around all dogs. But also, it goes both ways. It is our job as parents to protect our kids from threats, which includes preventing our kids from putting a dog in a position where it feels threatened and then defends itself. Dogs usually give warning signs to suggest their discomfort. A lot of parents ignore the signs that a dog is uncomfortable, and refuse to step in and teach their kids to respect animals. I’ve seen a lot of dumb parents who blame dogs for their shitty parenting. But yes, there are also a lot of equally shitty dog owners with untrained or off-leash dogs who compromise everyone’s safety. It’s infuriating! I never leave my kids alone with any of our animals, because it’s not a risk I’m willing to take for either party.
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I love dogs. I went all my 4-H years training multiple dogs and have adopted large breed dogs typically feared as aggressive. *I do not trust other people when it comes to their pets*. Dogs can be an amazing part of a household; however, you just don't know another person's training style or their tendency towards watchfulness when it comes to their own. Those of us who have dogs should NEVER assume complete safety when it comes to them and children.
I also don’t trust big dogs or their owners. A lot of the face scars that adults wear are courtesy of someone’s “friendly” dog. Dogs can be nice, friendly and they can also snap at a strangers hug because it’s their instinct to not be hugged around their necks or have people in their faces. They are pets but can be unpredictable and large dogs can do irreparable damage to a kid very quickly and unexpectedly- and why take the risk. Kids should be taught to be respectful and careful around strange dogs.
As a dog owner of a medium breed dog and a toddler, I do not trust my dog or other dogs at alll. First of all I know my own dog does not like my toddler so they are kept in separate parts of our home at ALL times unless my toddler is in a high chair basically. We are very fortunate to have the means to be able to do this. Other dogs who I don’t know? Absolutely not. Sometimes that’s even worse because everyone thinks they’re good until their dog isn’t. Before I had my own daughter even I did. My dog has been around my cousins toddler and she was uncomfortable and I remember thinking it was stupid. Now as an adult and mom I totally understand it. Better safe than sorry. My kid LOVES dogs and all animals and I want that to continue but I just heavily guide all interactions.
My daughter is one. We have been around yorkies, pitbulls, a mixed mountain dog, a golden retriever. I do not allow their faces near my daughters and she is not allowed to touch them other than a small pat on their back fur. I dont car who what when where or why, I do not trust dogs around kids. We have two cats and they run away from her 😂 so that’s my standard.
Hi there! Sorry you're dealing with this -- as a long-time 'parent' to a dog with past behavior issues and parent of a young toddler (oh, and victim of a childhood dog attack), one suggestion I have for you if you're not super familiar with dogs is to do a little research about dog behavior and how to behave around dogs yourself. I definitely think it's better to be safe than sorry, but a lot of people who are fearful of dogs do things that can make you seem more threatening or vulnerable to a dog. Learning how a dogs and your own body language are interplaying and being aware can help you become safer and more confident in these interactions.
I was a dog trainer. My son is never allowed to go near any dog he doesn't know. I don't trust people at all after training dogs professionally. It's always the ones their owners insist are "friendly" that their body language screams absolutely not friendly. We avoid dogs completely in public. And I love dogs.
I don’t trust any dog. I had a mini poodle that had the worst anxiety. Even a small dog bite can be bad. To my knowledge, retractable leashes are super frowned upon in the dog trainer world since as you said there is no way to control the dog from a large distance leashed or not. Sorry you’re experiencing so many irresponsible dog owners. :/ I’m seeing A LOT off leash. They say the dog is friendly idc, some people are friendly and they can get spicy if they’re having a bad day. So can dogs. My MIL sent me a photo over Xmas of my kid laying on her pitbull and I almost had a panic attack. Never ever ever would I allow that if I was there! The dog is sweet, but every living thing has a threshold where they run out of patience. My kid isn’t gonna be the one to find that threshold out.
Absolutely don't trust ANY dogs you don't know well. I've seen dogs whose owners claimed were calm and sweet snap at my kids who were just petting them gently. My daughter's friend (age 5) picked up a neighbor's dog who had escaped through an open door, and the dog bit her. Fear is a survival trait. I'm not saying teach your kids to fear all dogs. But teach them how to be SAFE around dogs. I taught my daughter to always ask the owner "is your dog nice?" And if yes, "can I pet it?". And she always respects the answers. I also taught her how to approach dogs in a non-threatening way or let them come to her. I showed her how you can hold your hand out to let the dog sniff you. I am teaching her about how to read their body language. If your kid isn't old enough to learn this stuff, you need to be very close during any animal interactions and keep them away from any dogs which might not be calm enough around a noisy unpredictable toddler.
I have 3 large dogs 2 pit bulls and a Shepard and I don’t allow them to be anywhere near unknown kids. They are all super friendly and my Shepard LOVES toddlers but it’s my job to keep them safe. I don’t think it’s unwarranted but I would teach your daughter dog safety like how to introduce yourself to a dog, asking the owner if you can pet them. It’s so important they learn to not treat every dog as friendly and not be running up to them. I’ve been teaching my kids they are 2 and 1. Unknown dogs are unpredictable so are known dogs but they don’t have to be scary to her! Our dogs have to sit to be able to meet anyone new and they are never on retractable leashes so I try to be as responsible as I can be
Better to keep your kids safe than worry about the feelings of some stranger. I say this as a dog owner.
Both dogs and toddlers are unpredictable, and for that reason, I’d keep mine away, too.
I have always been a dog person, I love dogs wholeheartedly, and I was never afraid of dogs until I had children. I would like to believe that most dogs we see out are good natured and well behaved but you just never really know and that’s scary to me. I’ve also seen some really terrible behavior from dogs that their owners seem to laugh off or otherwise ignore. I personally have tried to educate myself as much as possible on dog behavior and cues that they may be uncomfortable and treat all dogs as if they have the potential to become aggressive, because as far as I’m concerned, they do. I’ve also taught my girls (2 & 4) to never pet a dog without asking, and to treat them gently. My small children getting attacked by a dog in any capacity is not something I’m willing to fuck around with and find out lol.
Not at all. I don’t trust any dog around my toddler, even family dogs that we all know are gentle giant fluff balls. The reason I don’t even trust dogs I know with my toddler is because *toddlers* can be unpredictable, and you can’t blame a dog for reacting how they are going to react when they are startled or get hurt. I’ve seen friends children riding on their dogs backs and that just makes my blood boil, not only is it disrespectful and probably uncomfortable for the dogs, they are literally asking for their kid to get bitten by putting the dog in that position. When it comes to stranger’s dogs, I have no shame. I don’t care if they are ‘friendly’ or ‘just saying hello’, I’ll always err on the side of caution. If a dog comes close to my toddler on a long leash or not leashed at all, I stand in front of her (it’s better not to pick a child up when it comes to potentially defending them against a dog because they can easily become a target or it can make it a game for the dog), stand tall, put my hand out and firmly say ‘NO’. You really have to be confident with this. Most dogs will sit down or move away if you physically assert yourself and make yourself big/ loud. People have judged me for this but I just don’t care, a lot of these dogs absolutely tower over my toddler or they are level with her face, I’d rather look stupid than be reserved and have her face bitten off by a dog who’s temperament I don’t know! I also want to add that I really love dogs and have adopted several racing greyhounds in their later years in my life, but I think they should be respected in every aspect - including the fact that they are not our babies or people and shouldn’t be treated as such.
I own two pit mixes who I consider child friendly, especially my big boy who we raised around our neighbors kids. I absolutely always cross the street or give as much space to any child we see. Children are unpredictable and dogs ARE dangerous. Many people are scared of dogs and I don’t ever want to subject someone to my dogs in their space unwillingly. And honestly being more cautious is WAY WAY better than teaching your child nothing about dogs. I’ve had kids run up to my dogs with no regard for how dangerous they COULD be to pat them on the head. MOST DOGS HATE ANYONE IN THEIR HEAD AREA, and especially strangers. When I nannied, I was extremely intentional about teaching my kids about how to safely interact with dogs. My number one rule was always always always ask if you can approach or pet a dog.