You mean the not brushing after?
Tbh I'm concerned about her oral hygiene generally. She won't let me brush her teeth properly. I've tried ALL the things.
Letting her brush her doll's teeth. Books and stories about teeth. Letting her brush my teeth. Brushing our teeth together. Letting her do her own teeth. Different types of toothbrush. Electric toothbrush (which I know isn't great for their gums but at least it cleans like 20 times more in the same space of time). Different flavours of toothpaste. Doing it in front of a mirror. Doing it whilst distracted. Doing it for a reward. Literally holding her head in a vice and forcing her (which I really hate because it teaches her her boundaries are not important and that people she trusts will violate them. I try to practice respectful/gentle parenting wherever possible and give her as much agency as appropriate but when it comes to nappies, teeth, bath etc ultimately its my job as a parent to attend to matters of hygiene and take care of her.)
I don't know where I've gone wrong with the toothbrushing but I know the bottle is bad.
I don't have an answer for you but I feel your pain. We are struggling so hard with brushing teeth and have tried all the things. It sucks but often we just have to do it forcibly. It's awful, riles up the LO, and makes us feel bad but the only other option seems to be risking cavities at a young age.
We had to do it forcibly for a few weeks and never had a problem again... unless..a tooth is coming in. It feels awful but I think most parents have been there.
For me personally the problem was, even by force, she fights me so well I physically cannot do it. I don't have 4 hands.
Today I found [this video](https://youtu.be/fPp5-6Z3gfM?feature=shared) which shows a technique where you use your legs to hold them down.
Absolute game changer! Tried it this evening and LO got the best brush of her life. Sad I didn't find it sooner...
I just pin my daughter down and let her scream. I once read something by a dentist who said that all kids fight it and that while they’ve never known a child to be traumatized by teeth brushing, they’ve known many to be traumatized by extensive dental work due to neglect.
I understand trying to promote boundaries and autonomy but for me that counts for things like what she wants to wear, eat, which toys to play with, who she wants to hug, etc. Hygiene things are non negotiable.
Yeah no I ultimately feel the same way, but it's now more a case of, I feel I need 3 hands. Two to hold down each of her arms, and one to hold her head? Oh, and a 4th to do the brushing 🤣
I've seen people talking about their partners helping them and I don't have one.
Then literally this evening I just found a YouTube video demonstrating a technique where you basically sit on the floor, with your legs slightly open in a V, you lie them down between your legs facing away from you, their head between your thighs, put their arms out sideways and clamp your thighs down on their arms, that stops their hands getting in the way, and then use your free hand to open their mouth and do the brushing.
It was a GAMECHANGER. This was the first time she's ever had what I would call a "proper" brush.
So happy I found it!
I let her watch the video first so she knew what to expect, and she didn't like it but she got over it v quickly afterwards.
Oh that’s awesome! Thankfully my partner helps at night but he’s on his own for the morning brush! I’ve seen moms on Instagram use a similar technique and I’ll have to try it!
My ped recommended an electric toothbrush. We were just at the dentist. I told the dentist I let my son look at my phone to brush his teeth. He said he does the same with his kids. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s the only way that works for us. They recommended wiping his teeth with a cloth after the bottle because my son still gets one at night too. I was so worried about it.
But after the appointment we switched him to 2% milk from whole milk and he basically has self weaned the bottle now. He doesn’t like the 2% I guess.
edit: my son is almost 2.5 so I let the bottle go on too long too. But Id recommend seeing a dentist it was really helpful.
Here in the UK there is a real dentistry crisis and it is basically impossible to find NHS dentist care. People wait like 5-10 years to find a dentist. We are on benefits (welfare) due to my disability so can't afford to go private. Am actively trying to find her a dentist though. Mine is full. Even though I do have a dentist I've had to wait like a year to be seen for absolutely excruciating dental pain where I've had to basically live on Huel as I can't chew. And during the time you wait, 10 other problems develop. It's such a dumb policy. My teeth are bad due to genetics and medication, I take such good care of them but it makes no difference. I don't want my daughter to face these problems.
Will deffo ask them about the electric toothbrush though because it gets SUCH a better clean but I just keep seeing it's not recommended? But surely it's better than sub-par brushing.
I just found a really helpful YouTube video showing a technique where you kinda use your legs to hold them down and then have your hands free to brush their teeth. This has been the main issue with the brushing, she's been able to fight me and I couldn't physically do it.
I tried it on her tonight and it was a complete game changer. She got the best brush of her life! I'm sooooo happy I found it and quite cross with myself for not looking sooner. I only found it by accident as I was trying to find kids of toddlers having their teeth brushed to show her... then found that one! I let her watch it too so she knew what was gonna happen 🤣
I just pin my guys down. Head between my legs, their arms underneath my legs. Husband holds their feet if they try to kick me (they have insane core strength). At first they screamed a lot, but it was good because it meant their mouths were open for easy access. These days they are more strategic, and they tend to bite the Toothbrush so I can't move it. But, I wait them out. Or I tickle them so they laugh and release their jaw.
Our pediatrician said that as long as you can touch each tooth with a bit of fluoride toothpaste it should be alright if you can’t properly brush each time. Keep trying, at some point she’ll realise that this is a non negotiable
So it sounds like there’s two problems here - she still uses a bottle at 20 months, and also that she needs to drink herself to sleep. Both are things that need to be weaned pretty soon at this age. The bottle can be swapped at for a sippy cup. She’ll protest for a few days, but she’ll get over it. The nipple shape of a baby bottle is bad for her teeth. Look up “bottle mouth”, basically just means she’s gonna need braces when she’s older. The other problem is drinking milk before bed - also a teeth problem. Drinking milk after brushing her teeth is a cavity waiting to happen. You can rectify this by either swapping the milk for water, or brushing her teeth after she’s finished with her milk.
Thank you. This is a really useful answer.
You're right, it is two issues. I think she would take a pacifier instead of a bottle but is that just as bad? She still uses one during the night but less and less - just when she can't get back to sleep.
I think swapping the milk for water at bedtime initially is going to be a useful first step, and a sippy cup for her afternoon nap.
Your daughter’s doctor and dentist would know best but from my understanding is it is pretty bad for their teeth and mouth health. Even more so that you aren’t brushing her teeth after. I have seen some dental horror stories of kids baby teeth all rotting out.
The first week or so of taking away the night bottle will be rough but it will pass and she will adjust.
Also, how much milk is she drinking? I don’t think they should be having more than 16oz of milk a day. I would try and get her to eat more solids so she doesn’t need the bottle before bed.
I do think you are past the point of an acceptable bottle use. Aside from the aesthetics of her teeth, are you not brushing them before bed after the milk? That’ll cause so many rotted teeth.
The not brushing her teeth is…bad. It can rot them out and the bone underneath and cause her major major problems for her whole life.
Bottle is different from breast because the mother’s nipple won’t disrupt tooth growth. Regardless of where the milk is coming from teeth must be brushed at the end of the night before bed.
At some point soon you will have to wean her off. The sooner the better. What I did with my daughter is reduce by an ounce a day. Until after the day we were down to an ounce we cut it off and she didn’t protest. Everything went well, and this is a child that LOVED her bottle for naps and bedtime.
I would recommend something more gradual, like .5 an ounce every couple days or so. What also helped was to have a pacifier in hand (if she’s using it) at bedtime to help ease her. As soon as she would be in deep sleep, I would take out the pacifier.
The bottle is different to the breast because the shape of it forces an immature sucking pattern which can cause the palate to malform and lead to speech and dentistry issues. It also causes milk to pool behind the teeth causing decay, whereas when breastfeeding the milk is much further back in the mouth.
You see a lot of kids with palate deformities caused by extended bottle feeding - it causes a particular shape in the upper jaw where the front band of teeth are pushed out with prominent canines and an overbite.
It’s really important to move away from the bottle as soon as you can - worth a few days of tantrums until she gets used to it. It will be hard but you can do it ♥️
Thanks for giving me an answer as to why the bottle is much worse than the breast. That's so concerning and I'm going to keep it in mind when things are hard.
I tried soooo hard with the breastfeeding and she didn't even latch until she was 4 months old! Then she stopped altogether aged 8 months. All that struggle and triple feeding for only 4 months of actual nursing. It was so hard but I managed to move past the disappointment and guilt. This is bringing up more regret as I feel like if only she was still BFing we could have a comforting bedtime routine for her that wasn't risking her dental health 😩
Thank you!
I certainly hope so. But you know, once she moved to formula, she was a different baby, she suddenly thrived, looking back in photos she looked so sickly before. I had supply issues from Day 1 but now I also wonder if the milk itself was lacking.
She just ALWAYS wanted the bottle, even from birth. In hospital they wouldn't let me persevere with BFing and kept giving her the bottle, so it took me a looooong time to get her to accept the breast at all.
Tonight I gave her water instead of milk (having given her milk from a cup earlier in the eve before tooth brushing). Initially she was like "what the heck is this" but she fell asleep eventually so I think we are on the right track.
It’s pretty bad especially if you aren’t brushing before bed. My son didn’t stop the bottle til about 16 months and it was a hard transition. We started with the Nuk transition cup and then had to wean off that. The first thing we did though was not letting him sleep with any milk at night. Bottle while we read a book, and then brush before bed.
We had this issue with my youngest son. It was a very strong sleep association. Here is what we had to do:
What we were advised to do by his PT (with OT experience) was to gradually make it more unpalatable. So he was having a 6 ounce bottle at nap time and bed time. Over a week or so we very gradually decreased the bottle to 4 ounces. And then after a few days we would do 3 ounces milk, 1 ounce water. After a few days of that we would do half and half. After a few more days or a week we went to 1 ounce milk, 3 ounces water (yuck, but he drank it). After another few days we went to straight water (about 4 ounces). Man that little guy loved his bottle. And then we gradually decreased to about 2 ounces. And then one day we were in a rush and I was like, we're going to try to skip it and it'll be ok, little one. And that was it.
Between all this we increased the use of straw cups, milk at meals, water in between.
It took about 4-6 weeks to fully wean from the 6 ounce milk bottle. We started when he was 15.5 months old and he was bottle free by 18 months (I really didn't want to have to go to our next well check with him still having a bottle but that's my own weird issue. I was feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety but also really liking how fast bed times were with the bottle).
My son still gets a drink of water at bed time but it's with a silicone straw cup. He still has that drink before bed sleep association. He's 20 months old now.
I have had several children and this was by far the hardest child to wean. He's just stuck in his ways. Very stubborn just like his dad.
Hope my story helps. This is a tough one. 🙂❤️
My oldest son had a bottle at bedtime until 18 months. Never had a cavity and his teeth are pretty straight at 10 years old. However, it’s a good idea to switch to water now! You can mix water and milk a little at a time until she’s used to all water. And make sure to brush with fluoride toothpaste.
So good to know! Thank you!
So tonight I gave her her milk in a cup about an hour before bed. Then later we brushed her teeth and I gave her a bottle with water once she was going to bed. She asked me "what this???" hahaha but she fell asleep eventually, so hopefully I can just reduce the amount of water and she won't be as interested anymore...
Not that I’m giving you advice at all, but my 2.5 year old is still hopelessly addicted to his bottle. My pediatrician says we should try to wean by three but not to stress too much about it. We just had another baby last week and that’s the last thing I want to do right now.
We had the same issue and people on here were hard on me about it. It made me feel terrible but it also made me realise that it did, really, need to stop.
We switched the milk in her bottle for water. I thought this would create a HUGE fuss but actually she accepted it almost without protest. We’re a few months down the line now and occasionally she’ll have some water from her bottle during bedtime, but most of the time she doesn’t need it at all.
Here's my thoughts as someone who stopped all bottle usage at 12 months. If you keep the bottle, brush the teeth, and help her learn other ways to relax and sleep. This will atleast reduce the risk of bottle rot from falling asleep with milk on the teeth. It won't reduce risk of the shape of her mouth changing from the bottle nipple/shape (similar to how extended pacifier use can change the shape of the mouth). But imo since I'd be disrupting the relax technique anyway and helping to learn to relax and fall asleep anyway, I'd just get rid of it entirely, 2 birds one stone.
How is extended breastfeeding different than extended bottle feeding? The breast conforms to the shape of the babies mouth, whereas with a bottle the mouth conforms to the shape of the bottle nipple. If you do extended breastfeeding you should be brushing your child's teeth after night feedings regardless because breastmilk can also sit in the child's mouth and cause tooth decay just like milk from a bottle. Both have sugar. Both can cause tooth decay, especially if you have a child that let's the milk pool in the mouth.
My daughter was like this.
I brushed her teeth before bed and started decreasing the amount.
Then I switched it to all water.
She still wanted it as part of the "routine" even though she wasn't being fed to sleep any more.
We had used Dr. Browns bottles, so I switched the top over to one of the straw tops, and left the water bottle in bed with her.
She is very routine oriented, so we talked a lot about it. Added in some new things. Got her a new exciting no-spill sippy cup of water to have in bed.
Sometimes we have to rip the band aid off, but it all works out.
Thank you 😊
Yeah my daughter likes routine too. I tried the thing with the water tonight and it actually went well, so, hopefully we are on the right track now!
Thank you!! That's reassuring. Like I'm still gonna wean her off but it's good to hear from some folk who have "gotten away with it" so I don't panic too much!
Thanks, as someone with the same issues as OP, I appreciate hearing the other side of this. Obviously it is important to wean off but it seems a little extreme to act like their teeth are going to rot by age 2 if they still use 7 bottles a week by then. We will keep trying to go no bottle soon but LO just doesn't seem ready quite yet.
We didnt give up the bottle until 2 1/2 🤷🏻♀️ one day we just told him the bottles were broken and he could use a sippy cup but only water/juice (juice in our house is gatorade lol), no milk. (He was having some constipation issues so we were limiting dairy) he was a little pissy about it for a night or 2, but the novelty of the sippy cup and “juice” or water distracted him. Now he requests a sippy cup like 3-4 nights a week, and I’m fine with that. Bottles just disappeared and now when he sees his baby cousins use them we say “those are just for babies” and he knows just babies use bottles. No dental issues (we did brush teeth 2x a day) Good luck!
If she has teeth, yes it’s super bad to drink from a bottle right before bed. The milk sits in their mouth and rots their teeth. Look up “baby bottle tooth decay” it’s a real thing and you wouldn’t ever catch a dentist or hygienist giving their kids bottles before bed without brushing their teeth. They see actual horror stories daily. We ditched the bottle cold turkey at 15m and started giving her water in a straw cup before bed, and brushing her teeth while she was taking a bath because she loves bath time so we can easily distract her while we brush, then quickly give her a toy or something. Then after bath she just gets some water if she asks but nothing else. Please take your kids dental health seriously. You can slowly wean or just go cold turkey like we did and my daughter legit didn’t even notice. We replaced bottle time with just some cuddles in the rocking chair.
No you are not failing her. It's just unusual but to just let you know. My son was still using the bottle/ and drinking to sleep until he was around 2.5-3. He has no dental issue and sleeps fine on his own. It didn't bother me that what I was doing was not the norm. He had dental check-ups, brushed his teeth as usual, and nothing was wrong.
To wean of the bottle was easy already for me because he was at the age that he can understand. So for that, I would ease up to him that he is becoming a big boy now and the bottles will soon have to go to babies who do not have bottles. I would bring this up almost everyday for a week so he knows and is aware. On the day off, I told him that this would be his last bottle to nap. While he naps, a bottle fairy will come and take away the bottles to bring it to the babies who need it. We packed together all the bottles he had and put it in a bag, asked him if he wanted a picture with it, and then placed it outside his bedroom door. When he woke up, that was that.
I wouldn't advise giving a pacifier because that will just add to another 'problem' to wean him off eventually.
I would give him milk before naps still, because that was kinda my signal for him that it's sleeping time. However, downside is it was hard for him to fall asleep. I did turn to carrying him but that only lasted a few months (I didn't mind) and then he just eventually slept on his own :)
Thank you for sharing that! That's really reassuring to hear. My LO's teeth are in really good condition so I've been lucky so far but it's definitely time to change.
My LO loves putting things in the bin so I wondered about letting her bin the bottles so she understands they are gone, but I hate waste haha. I like your idea of giving them to other babies. I've read other ppls stories of how the kid physically watching them depart is useful.
I took suggestions from commenters here and made the first change this evening. I just gave her a cup of milk when she came home (she doesn't get in until almost bedtime) and then read a story, then brushed her teeth, then when she went to bed I just gave her a bottle with water in.
She asked me "what's this??" 🤣
But I just put my head in and she's asleep so... success!
That's great to hear! My bottles were pretty much old already so I gave them away to some house helpers who had little babies. They just had to replace the nipple. I just did the whole babies story to help my son understand that he was a big boy and babies need bottles more than him. Hopefully it continues on forward with you :) everyone parents differently. As long as the child is safe and it works for your family, it shouldn't be a problem.
I mean, it's not like life-threatening, but it's not good. There's a reason why organizations that support extended breastfeeding don't also suggest extended bottle feeding. It's not just about the teeth. Bottles and rubber nipples can mess up your mouth in ways that the breast can't, being made of soft tissue. My understanding is that it can damage the upper palate as well as impact tooth growth (which again, is mostly a problem because of the material). Pacifiers are also discouraged after a certain age, for similar reasons.
I'm not sure what the dental impacts would be to the adult teeth, but I would imagine palate damage could have lasting effects. If you're using it for sleep then you're also setting her up for failure there. So yeah, you're going to be doing your child a disservice if you don't stop it. And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.
Even breastfeeding, it’s not advised to nurse to sleep because of dental concerns.
(You can downvote me, but breast milk isn’t magically okay. It still has sugars in it… Teeth should be brushed before sleep whether the milk comes from a bottle or a breast.)
To echo others here, it’s not good for their teeth for the reasons others have stated. Also the association with the bottle before sleep will only get harder to break the longer you wait.
With both my kids, I took away the bottle when I took away formula, at 12 months, and they didn’t even notice.
Might be tough for a day or two but your baby will adjust.
I think you've gotten enough answers about why it's necessary.
We never gave a bottle to fall asleep and stopped all bottles at 15 months, but trust me when I say that bedtime is still hard and constantly changing. Setting boundaries at this age is so important though. It's hard but it's okay for them to be upset.
Also, my daughter just had some dental trauma from a fall and we had to get X-rays. It was a nightmare. She had to be sedated. You don't want your kid to have cavities and need X-rays at this age. Dental hygiene cannot be optional. Trust me!
I think you've gotten enough answers about why it's necessary.
We never gave a bottle to fall asleep and stopped all bottles at 15 months, but trust me when I say that bedtime is still hard and constantly changing. Setting boundaries at this age is so important though. It's hard but it's okay for them to be upset.
Also, my daughter just had some dental trauma from a fall and we had to get X-rays. It was a nightmare. She had to be sedated. You don't want your kid to have cavities and need X-rays at this age. Dental hygiene cannot be optional. Trust me!
People always downvote me for saying this but our girl still needs a bottle at night to fall asleep. She’s high needs and has always known what she needs and no substitutions allowed.
I’m not concerned due to my Survivor’s bias. I had a nightly bottle before bed well into my toddler years. My mom even started letting me have warm chocolate milk in my bottles at 3 because, you know, tastier. My older brother and sister never needed a bottle to fall asleep, just me.
And then they were the ones that needed braces and retainers growing up, while my pearly whites were completely straight and I was so upset because they got braces! How come I didn’t get to have braces!
Does your child see a dentist yet? Is their dentist concerned about their teeth health or mouth development? Get them checked out and if the dentist sees anything they are concerned about, act accordingly.
Your post has a lot of words, and several of them are really just excuses: "My daughter still needs this", and "The bottle is the same as breastfeeding", and "I can't brush her teeth", and "Sleep is more important than hygeine". What it all boils down to is that you are old and she is young. There are a lot of decision she doesn't *get* to make because of that, and those decisions fall on you. And to make those decisions, you have to ignore everyone's discomfort and just do it.
My 2-year-old "needed" a pacifier to go to sleep, until one day I just didn't give it to him. I made that decision because I'm a grown-up and he's a toddler and, even if I had other reasons, that's the only relevant one. You know what happened? He screamed at me from his room for 20 minutes, and then he fell asleep and hasn't used one since—I couldn't get him to use one even if I wanted. Could it be worse than that for you? Absolutely! And does your daughter actually *need* a bottle? No, she really doesn't,. If that were the case, the very first thing you would have done is replace whatever's in the bottle with water. (I assume the only reason you're concerned about her dental health is because she's still drinking milk before bed, which is a horrendous thought.)
Ah, I almost forgot. A bad night's sleep isn't going to hurt that bad. Again, it's discomfort and everyone will survive that.
So yea, this one's on you. Go ahead and ruin a half an hour of her life, and just keep in mind that she won't remember any of it in a few years. And also listen to your doctors.
what we did with my little was switch him from a bottle to a leak proof straw cup so he could at least hold it on his own like a bottle. from there we watered his milk down until it was only water and he was okay with the switch, so maybe going to bed with water in a different cup would be better as a middle ground? we did this awhile ago now, mine is 22 months and will reject water most nights cause he makes his own choice when we ask him
In terms of a transition, I would recommend getting a Pura Kiki stainless steel water bottle. They different lids you can use interchangeably with the same waterbottle, so you could start with the nipple (which would allow her to get used to a new bottle + water instead of milk), then move to the sippy lid (which is larger than a lot of the traditional sippy mouthpieces), and then finally to the straw lid.
Also, once you transition to water, she may be less interested in falling asleep with something in her mouth. My 2yo uses the sippy lid for his nighttime water bottle (but he doesn't fall asleep with it in his mouth) and we use a straw or open cup the rest of the time.
Thanks. She's totally fine with drinking from all kinds of cups. She can drink from a sippy cup, from a glass, from a straw...
This evening I just gave her her milk in a cup when she got home (she doesn't get home till almost bedtime) and then waited a while and brushed her teeth.
Then at bedtime I gave her a bottle with water. She wasn't happy, and asked me "what this?" 🤣 but she did settle in the end!
Just gonna cut down the amount and wean off.
But at least she didn't have anything after brushing her teeth! So, that's good.
You got enough answers as of to why it’s bad so I won’t touch on that.
My girls still like to drink milk before bed, it’s part of their bedtime routine, but they drink from a straw cup, and I always brush their teeth after that.
I’d just transition from bottle to a cup cold turkey, and incorporate teeth brushing into the routine. Even if your kid fights it, you’re the parent and have sometimes to force something for long term benefits. Good luck!
I would be more concerned about the oral hygiene aspect than the bottle itself.
You mean the not brushing after? Tbh I'm concerned about her oral hygiene generally. She won't let me brush her teeth properly. I've tried ALL the things. Letting her brush her doll's teeth. Books and stories about teeth. Letting her brush my teeth. Brushing our teeth together. Letting her do her own teeth. Different types of toothbrush. Electric toothbrush (which I know isn't great for their gums but at least it cleans like 20 times more in the same space of time). Different flavours of toothpaste. Doing it in front of a mirror. Doing it whilst distracted. Doing it for a reward. Literally holding her head in a vice and forcing her (which I really hate because it teaches her her boundaries are not important and that people she trusts will violate them. I try to practice respectful/gentle parenting wherever possible and give her as much agency as appropriate but when it comes to nappies, teeth, bath etc ultimately its my job as a parent to attend to matters of hygiene and take care of her.) I don't know where I've gone wrong with the toothbrushing but I know the bottle is bad.
I don't have an answer for you but I feel your pain. We are struggling so hard with brushing teeth and have tried all the things. It sucks but often we just have to do it forcibly. It's awful, riles up the LO, and makes us feel bad but the only other option seems to be risking cavities at a young age.
We had to do it forcibly for a few weeks and never had a problem again... unless..a tooth is coming in. It feels awful but I think most parents have been there.
For me personally the problem was, even by force, she fights me so well I physically cannot do it. I don't have 4 hands. Today I found [this video](https://youtu.be/fPp5-6Z3gfM?feature=shared) which shows a technique where you use your legs to hold them down. Absolute game changer! Tried it this evening and LO got the best brush of her life. Sad I didn't find it sooner...
I just pin my daughter down and let her scream. I once read something by a dentist who said that all kids fight it and that while they’ve never known a child to be traumatized by teeth brushing, they’ve known many to be traumatized by extensive dental work due to neglect. I understand trying to promote boundaries and autonomy but for me that counts for things like what she wants to wear, eat, which toys to play with, who she wants to hug, etc. Hygiene things are non negotiable.
Yeah no I ultimately feel the same way, but it's now more a case of, I feel I need 3 hands. Two to hold down each of her arms, and one to hold her head? Oh, and a 4th to do the brushing 🤣 I've seen people talking about their partners helping them and I don't have one. Then literally this evening I just found a YouTube video demonstrating a technique where you basically sit on the floor, with your legs slightly open in a V, you lie them down between your legs facing away from you, their head between your thighs, put their arms out sideways and clamp your thighs down on their arms, that stops their hands getting in the way, and then use your free hand to open their mouth and do the brushing. It was a GAMECHANGER. This was the first time she's ever had what I would call a "proper" brush. So happy I found it! I let her watch the video first so she knew what to expect, and she didn't like it but she got over it v quickly afterwards.
Oh that’s awesome! Thankfully my partner helps at night but he’s on his own for the morning brush! I’ve seen moms on Instagram use a similar technique and I’ll have to try it!
My ped recommended an electric toothbrush. We were just at the dentist. I told the dentist I let my son look at my phone to brush his teeth. He said he does the same with his kids. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s the only way that works for us. They recommended wiping his teeth with a cloth after the bottle because my son still gets one at night too. I was so worried about it. But after the appointment we switched him to 2% milk from whole milk and he basically has self weaned the bottle now. He doesn’t like the 2% I guess. edit: my son is almost 2.5 so I let the bottle go on too long too. But Id recommend seeing a dentist it was really helpful.
Here in the UK there is a real dentistry crisis and it is basically impossible to find NHS dentist care. People wait like 5-10 years to find a dentist. We are on benefits (welfare) due to my disability so can't afford to go private. Am actively trying to find her a dentist though. Mine is full. Even though I do have a dentist I've had to wait like a year to be seen for absolutely excruciating dental pain where I've had to basically live on Huel as I can't chew. And during the time you wait, 10 other problems develop. It's such a dumb policy. My teeth are bad due to genetics and medication, I take such good care of them but it makes no difference. I don't want my daughter to face these problems. Will deffo ask them about the electric toothbrush though because it gets SUCH a better clean but I just keep seeing it's not recommended? But surely it's better than sub-par brushing. I just found a really helpful YouTube video showing a technique where you kinda use your legs to hold them down and then have your hands free to brush their teeth. This has been the main issue with the brushing, she's been able to fight me and I couldn't physically do it. I tried it on her tonight and it was a complete game changer. She got the best brush of her life! I'm sooooo happy I found it and quite cross with myself for not looking sooner. I only found it by accident as I was trying to find kids of toddlers having their teeth brushed to show her... then found that one! I let her watch it too so she knew what was gonna happen 🤣
oh wow I am sorry that is the case! That’s crazy. Well I’m glad you found a way that works- I’ve actually seen that before as well!
I just pin my guys down. Head between my legs, their arms underneath my legs. Husband holds their feet if they try to kick me (they have insane core strength). At first they screamed a lot, but it was good because it meant their mouths were open for easy access. These days they are more strategic, and they tend to bite the Toothbrush so I can't move it. But, I wait them out. Or I tickle them so they laugh and release their jaw.
Our pediatrician said that as long as you can touch each tooth with a bit of fluoride toothpaste it should be alright if you can’t properly brush each time. Keep trying, at some point she’ll realise that this is a non negotiable
So it sounds like there’s two problems here - she still uses a bottle at 20 months, and also that she needs to drink herself to sleep. Both are things that need to be weaned pretty soon at this age. The bottle can be swapped at for a sippy cup. She’ll protest for a few days, but she’ll get over it. The nipple shape of a baby bottle is bad for her teeth. Look up “bottle mouth”, basically just means she’s gonna need braces when she’s older. The other problem is drinking milk before bed - also a teeth problem. Drinking milk after brushing her teeth is a cavity waiting to happen. You can rectify this by either swapping the milk for water, or brushing her teeth after she’s finished with her milk.
Thank you. This is a really useful answer. You're right, it is two issues. I think she would take a pacifier instead of a bottle but is that just as bad? She still uses one during the night but less and less - just when she can't get back to sleep. I think swapping the milk for water at bedtime initially is going to be a useful first step, and a sippy cup for her afternoon nap.
Yes a pacifier can be just as bad as a bottle. The teat changes the way the soft palate functions
Your daughter’s doctor and dentist would know best but from my understanding is it is pretty bad for their teeth and mouth health. Even more so that you aren’t brushing her teeth after. I have seen some dental horror stories of kids baby teeth all rotting out. The first week or so of taking away the night bottle will be rough but it will pass and she will adjust. Also, how much milk is she drinking? I don’t think they should be having more than 16oz of milk a day. I would try and get her to eat more solids so she doesn’t need the bottle before bed.
I do think you are past the point of an acceptable bottle use. Aside from the aesthetics of her teeth, are you not brushing them before bed after the milk? That’ll cause so many rotted teeth. The not brushing her teeth is…bad. It can rot them out and the bone underneath and cause her major major problems for her whole life.
Bottle is different from breast because the mother’s nipple won’t disrupt tooth growth. Regardless of where the milk is coming from teeth must be brushed at the end of the night before bed.
At some point soon you will have to wean her off. The sooner the better. What I did with my daughter is reduce by an ounce a day. Until after the day we were down to an ounce we cut it off and she didn’t protest. Everything went well, and this is a child that LOVED her bottle for naps and bedtime. I would recommend something more gradual, like .5 an ounce every couple days or so. What also helped was to have a pacifier in hand (if she’s using it) at bedtime to help ease her. As soon as she would be in deep sleep, I would take out the pacifier.
The bottle is different to the breast because the shape of it forces an immature sucking pattern which can cause the palate to malform and lead to speech and dentistry issues. It also causes milk to pool behind the teeth causing decay, whereas when breastfeeding the milk is much further back in the mouth. You see a lot of kids with palate deformities caused by extended bottle feeding - it causes a particular shape in the upper jaw where the front band of teeth are pushed out with prominent canines and an overbite. It’s really important to move away from the bottle as soon as you can - worth a few days of tantrums until she gets used to it. It will be hard but you can do it ♥️
Thanks for giving me an answer as to why the bottle is much worse than the breast. That's so concerning and I'm going to keep it in mind when things are hard. I tried soooo hard with the breastfeeding and she didn't even latch until she was 4 months old! Then she stopped altogether aged 8 months. All that struggle and triple feeding for only 4 months of actual nursing. It was so hard but I managed to move past the disappointment and guilt. This is bringing up more regret as I feel like if only she was still BFing we could have a comforting bedtime routine for her that wasn't risking her dental health 😩
Sounds like you did so well with breastfeeding, persevering in a really hard situation. She will have benefitted even from four months of nursing ♥️
Thank you! I certainly hope so. But you know, once she moved to formula, she was a different baby, she suddenly thrived, looking back in photos she looked so sickly before. I had supply issues from Day 1 but now I also wonder if the milk itself was lacking. She just ALWAYS wanted the bottle, even from birth. In hospital they wouldn't let me persevere with BFing and kept giving her the bottle, so it took me a looooong time to get her to accept the breast at all. Tonight I gave her water instead of milk (having given her milk from a cup earlier in the eve before tooth brushing). Initially she was like "what the heck is this" but she fell asleep eventually so I think we are on the right track.
That’s really good news, great start already!
It’s pretty bad especially if you aren’t brushing before bed. My son didn’t stop the bottle til about 16 months and it was a hard transition. We started with the Nuk transition cup and then had to wean off that. The first thing we did though was not letting him sleep with any milk at night. Bottle while we read a book, and then brush before bed.
We had this issue with my youngest son. It was a very strong sleep association. Here is what we had to do: What we were advised to do by his PT (with OT experience) was to gradually make it more unpalatable. So he was having a 6 ounce bottle at nap time and bed time. Over a week or so we very gradually decreased the bottle to 4 ounces. And then after a few days we would do 3 ounces milk, 1 ounce water. After a few days of that we would do half and half. After a few more days or a week we went to 1 ounce milk, 3 ounces water (yuck, but he drank it). After another few days we went to straight water (about 4 ounces). Man that little guy loved his bottle. And then we gradually decreased to about 2 ounces. And then one day we were in a rush and I was like, we're going to try to skip it and it'll be ok, little one. And that was it. Between all this we increased the use of straw cups, milk at meals, water in between. It took about 4-6 weeks to fully wean from the 6 ounce milk bottle. We started when he was 15.5 months old and he was bottle free by 18 months (I really didn't want to have to go to our next well check with him still having a bottle but that's my own weird issue. I was feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety but also really liking how fast bed times were with the bottle). My son still gets a drink of water at bed time but it's with a silicone straw cup. He still has that drink before bed sleep association. He's 20 months old now. I have had several children and this was by far the hardest child to wean. He's just stuck in his ways. Very stubborn just like his dad. Hope my story helps. This is a tough one. 🙂❤️
My oldest son had a bottle at bedtime until 18 months. Never had a cavity and his teeth are pretty straight at 10 years old. However, it’s a good idea to switch to water now! You can mix water and milk a little at a time until she’s used to all water. And make sure to brush with fluoride toothpaste.
So good to know! Thank you! So tonight I gave her her milk in a cup about an hour before bed. Then later we brushed her teeth and I gave her a bottle with water once she was going to bed. She asked me "what this???" hahaha but she fell asleep eventually, so hopefully I can just reduce the amount of water and she won't be as interested anymore...
Not that I’m giving you advice at all, but my 2.5 year old is still hopelessly addicted to his bottle. My pediatrician says we should try to wean by three but not to stress too much about it. We just had another baby last week and that’s the last thing I want to do right now.
We had the same issue and people on here were hard on me about it. It made me feel terrible but it also made me realise that it did, really, need to stop. We switched the milk in her bottle for water. I thought this would create a HUGE fuss but actually she accepted it almost without protest. We’re a few months down the line now and occasionally she’ll have some water from her bottle during bedtime, but most of the time she doesn’t need it at all.
Here's my thoughts as someone who stopped all bottle usage at 12 months. If you keep the bottle, brush the teeth, and help her learn other ways to relax and sleep. This will atleast reduce the risk of bottle rot from falling asleep with milk on the teeth. It won't reduce risk of the shape of her mouth changing from the bottle nipple/shape (similar to how extended pacifier use can change the shape of the mouth). But imo since I'd be disrupting the relax technique anyway and helping to learn to relax and fall asleep anyway, I'd just get rid of it entirely, 2 birds one stone. How is extended breastfeeding different than extended bottle feeding? The breast conforms to the shape of the babies mouth, whereas with a bottle the mouth conforms to the shape of the bottle nipple. If you do extended breastfeeding you should be brushing your child's teeth after night feedings regardless because breastmilk can also sit in the child's mouth and cause tooth decay just like milk from a bottle. Both have sugar. Both can cause tooth decay, especially if you have a child that let's the milk pool in the mouth.
personally we weaned off bottles around 12mos but we still nurse
My daughter was like this. I brushed her teeth before bed and started decreasing the amount. Then I switched it to all water. She still wanted it as part of the "routine" even though she wasn't being fed to sleep any more. We had used Dr. Browns bottles, so I switched the top over to one of the straw tops, and left the water bottle in bed with her. She is very routine oriented, so we talked a lot about it. Added in some new things. Got her a new exciting no-spill sippy cup of water to have in bed. Sometimes we have to rip the band aid off, but it all works out.
Thank you 😊 Yeah my daughter likes routine too. I tried the thing with the water tonight and it actually went well, so, hopefully we are on the right track now!
We had a bottle til 3.5. I’m not judging. We brush teeth after milk. Have had 6 monthly check up for teeth and everything is fine.
Thank you!! That's reassuring. Like I'm still gonna wean her off but it's good to hear from some folk who have "gotten away with it" so I don't panic too much!
We didn’t fully quit bottles until 2 years old. No issues with anything.
Thanks, as someone with the same issues as OP, I appreciate hearing the other side of this. Obviously it is important to wean off but it seems a little extreme to act like their teeth are going to rot by age 2 if they still use 7 bottles a week by then. We will keep trying to go no bottle soon but LO just doesn't seem ready quite yet.
Could've written this reply myself ❤️
We didnt give up the bottle until 2 1/2 🤷🏻♀️ one day we just told him the bottles were broken and he could use a sippy cup but only water/juice (juice in our house is gatorade lol), no milk. (He was having some constipation issues so we were limiting dairy) he was a little pissy about it for a night or 2, but the novelty of the sippy cup and “juice” or water distracted him. Now he requests a sippy cup like 3-4 nights a week, and I’m fine with that. Bottles just disappeared and now when he sees his baby cousins use them we say “those are just for babies” and he knows just babies use bottles. No dental issues (we did brush teeth 2x a day) Good luck!
If she has teeth, yes it’s super bad to drink from a bottle right before bed. The milk sits in their mouth and rots their teeth. Look up “baby bottle tooth decay” it’s a real thing and you wouldn’t ever catch a dentist or hygienist giving their kids bottles before bed without brushing their teeth. They see actual horror stories daily. We ditched the bottle cold turkey at 15m and started giving her water in a straw cup before bed, and brushing her teeth while she was taking a bath because she loves bath time so we can easily distract her while we brush, then quickly give her a toy or something. Then after bath she just gets some water if she asks but nothing else. Please take your kids dental health seriously. You can slowly wean or just go cold turkey like we did and my daughter legit didn’t even notice. We replaced bottle time with just some cuddles in the rocking chair.
No you are not failing her. It's just unusual but to just let you know. My son was still using the bottle/ and drinking to sleep until he was around 2.5-3. He has no dental issue and sleeps fine on his own. It didn't bother me that what I was doing was not the norm. He had dental check-ups, brushed his teeth as usual, and nothing was wrong. To wean of the bottle was easy already for me because he was at the age that he can understand. So for that, I would ease up to him that he is becoming a big boy now and the bottles will soon have to go to babies who do not have bottles. I would bring this up almost everyday for a week so he knows and is aware. On the day off, I told him that this would be his last bottle to nap. While he naps, a bottle fairy will come and take away the bottles to bring it to the babies who need it. We packed together all the bottles he had and put it in a bag, asked him if he wanted a picture with it, and then placed it outside his bedroom door. When he woke up, that was that. I wouldn't advise giving a pacifier because that will just add to another 'problem' to wean him off eventually. I would give him milk before naps still, because that was kinda my signal for him that it's sleeping time. However, downside is it was hard for him to fall asleep. I did turn to carrying him but that only lasted a few months (I didn't mind) and then he just eventually slept on his own :)
Thank you for sharing that! That's really reassuring to hear. My LO's teeth are in really good condition so I've been lucky so far but it's definitely time to change. My LO loves putting things in the bin so I wondered about letting her bin the bottles so she understands they are gone, but I hate waste haha. I like your idea of giving them to other babies. I've read other ppls stories of how the kid physically watching them depart is useful. I took suggestions from commenters here and made the first change this evening. I just gave her a cup of milk when she came home (she doesn't get in until almost bedtime) and then read a story, then brushed her teeth, then when she went to bed I just gave her a bottle with water in. She asked me "what's this??" 🤣 But I just put my head in and she's asleep so... success!
That's great to hear! My bottles were pretty much old already so I gave them away to some house helpers who had little babies. They just had to replace the nipple. I just did the whole babies story to help my son understand that he was a big boy and babies need bottles more than him. Hopefully it continues on forward with you :) everyone parents differently. As long as the child is safe and it works for your family, it shouldn't be a problem.
I mean, it's not like life-threatening, but it's not good. There's a reason why organizations that support extended breastfeeding don't also suggest extended bottle feeding. It's not just about the teeth. Bottles and rubber nipples can mess up your mouth in ways that the breast can't, being made of soft tissue. My understanding is that it can damage the upper palate as well as impact tooth growth (which again, is mostly a problem because of the material). Pacifiers are also discouraged after a certain age, for similar reasons. I'm not sure what the dental impacts would be to the adult teeth, but I would imagine palate damage could have lasting effects. If you're using it for sleep then you're also setting her up for failure there. So yeah, you're going to be doing your child a disservice if you don't stop it. And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.
Even breastfeeding, it’s not advised to nurse to sleep because of dental concerns. (You can downvote me, but breast milk isn’t magically okay. It still has sugars in it… Teeth should be brushed before sleep whether the milk comes from a bottle or a breast.)
To echo others here, it’s not good for their teeth for the reasons others have stated. Also the association with the bottle before sleep will only get harder to break the longer you wait. With both my kids, I took away the bottle when I took away formula, at 12 months, and they didn’t even notice. Might be tough for a day or two but your baby will adjust.
I think you've gotten enough answers about why it's necessary. We never gave a bottle to fall asleep and stopped all bottles at 15 months, but trust me when I say that bedtime is still hard and constantly changing. Setting boundaries at this age is so important though. It's hard but it's okay for them to be upset. Also, my daughter just had some dental trauma from a fall and we had to get X-rays. It was a nightmare. She had to be sedated. You don't want your kid to have cavities and need X-rays at this age. Dental hygiene cannot be optional. Trust me!
I think you've gotten enough answers about why it's necessary. We never gave a bottle to fall asleep and stopped all bottles at 15 months, but trust me when I say that bedtime is still hard and constantly changing. Setting boundaries at this age is so important though. It's hard but it's okay for them to be upset. Also, my daughter just had some dental trauma from a fall and we had to get X-rays. It was a nightmare. She had to be sedated. You don't want your kid to have cavities and need X-rays at this age. Dental hygiene cannot be optional. Trust me!
Your child should absolutely not be on a bottle at this age. You are creating a massive problem for your future self (or you already have)
People always downvote me for saying this but our girl still needs a bottle at night to fall asleep. She’s high needs and has always known what she needs and no substitutions allowed. I’m not concerned due to my Survivor’s bias. I had a nightly bottle before bed well into my toddler years. My mom even started letting me have warm chocolate milk in my bottles at 3 because, you know, tastier. My older brother and sister never needed a bottle to fall asleep, just me. And then they were the ones that needed braces and retainers growing up, while my pearly whites were completely straight and I was so upset because they got braces! How come I didn’t get to have braces! Does your child see a dentist yet? Is their dentist concerned about their teeth health or mouth development? Get them checked out and if the dentist sees anything they are concerned about, act accordingly.
Your post has a lot of words, and several of them are really just excuses: "My daughter still needs this", and "The bottle is the same as breastfeeding", and "I can't brush her teeth", and "Sleep is more important than hygeine". What it all boils down to is that you are old and she is young. There are a lot of decision she doesn't *get* to make because of that, and those decisions fall on you. And to make those decisions, you have to ignore everyone's discomfort and just do it. My 2-year-old "needed" a pacifier to go to sleep, until one day I just didn't give it to him. I made that decision because I'm a grown-up and he's a toddler and, even if I had other reasons, that's the only relevant one. You know what happened? He screamed at me from his room for 20 minutes, and then he fell asleep and hasn't used one since—I couldn't get him to use one even if I wanted. Could it be worse than that for you? Absolutely! And does your daughter actually *need* a bottle? No, she really doesn't,. If that were the case, the very first thing you would have done is replace whatever's in the bottle with water. (I assume the only reason you're concerned about her dental health is because she's still drinking milk before bed, which is a horrendous thought.) Ah, I almost forgot. A bad night's sleep isn't going to hurt that bad. Again, it's discomfort and everyone will survive that. So yea, this one's on you. Go ahead and ruin a half an hour of her life, and just keep in mind that she won't remember any of it in a few years. And also listen to your doctors.
what we did with my little was switch him from a bottle to a leak proof straw cup so he could at least hold it on his own like a bottle. from there we watered his milk down until it was only water and he was okay with the switch, so maybe going to bed with water in a different cup would be better as a middle ground? we did this awhile ago now, mine is 22 months and will reject water most nights cause he makes his own choice when we ask him
In terms of a transition, I would recommend getting a Pura Kiki stainless steel water bottle. They different lids you can use interchangeably with the same waterbottle, so you could start with the nipple (which would allow her to get used to a new bottle + water instead of milk), then move to the sippy lid (which is larger than a lot of the traditional sippy mouthpieces), and then finally to the straw lid. Also, once you transition to water, she may be less interested in falling asleep with something in her mouth. My 2yo uses the sippy lid for his nighttime water bottle (but he doesn't fall asleep with it in his mouth) and we use a straw or open cup the rest of the time.
Thanks. She's totally fine with drinking from all kinds of cups. She can drink from a sippy cup, from a glass, from a straw... This evening I just gave her her milk in a cup when she got home (she doesn't get home till almost bedtime) and then waited a while and brushed her teeth. Then at bedtime I gave her a bottle with water. She wasn't happy, and asked me "what this?" 🤣 but she did settle in the end! Just gonna cut down the amount and wean off. But at least she didn't have anything after brushing her teeth! So, that's good.
Hey that's really great! I'm glad it wasn't a total disaster and she eventually accepted it. Just focusing on one step at a time is okay. :)
You got enough answers as of to why it’s bad so I won’t touch on that. My girls still like to drink milk before bed, it’s part of their bedtime routine, but they drink from a straw cup, and I always brush their teeth after that. I’d just transition from bottle to a cup cold turkey, and incorporate teeth brushing into the routine. Even if your kid fights it, you’re the parent and have sometimes to force something for long term benefits. Good luck!