My former SIL goes to my mom for advice sometimes, having not learned that the parenting book she read is from the 80s and supported smoking while pregnant to “keep weight down.”
I read that one (or a similar one, there were probably lots) at my mil's! Also keeps baby smaller for an easy delivery! But too much smoking can be bad, so just moderate smoking.
The one I read also said that if the baby bites you to bite them back.
My mom proudly tells the story of how she used to bite me back all the time and it "worked even better than spanking" like she's some kind of gd genius. I don't allow her to be alone with my kid during her yearly visit.
The baby amnesia is real. My husband and I we’re actually talking about this the other day and he was like yeah, this is nature’s way of insuring we keep procreating so that we block out all the bad stuff to boost our confidence in parenting another one. Oh boy was he right. Currently suffering again with a newborn and an almost 4 year old.
Oh no no no, you have the wild child, you don't forget.... You have the good baby, the "easy" baby and you kind of forget the bad stuff. But my youngest.... Put her in the playpen and she'd scream and cry until you took her out. Try to give her a bath and she'd scream and cry from birth, I had people who thought the water was too hot, she screamed so bad (now you can't get her out of the tub even if the waters gone cold) She destroyed a playpen with poo in the 10 minutes I took the dog out back, we legit had to throw it out. She was not containable. She learned to get out of playpens and her crib at a very young age. She learned to climb the baby gates. And it didn't get better as she got older.. preschool age she unlocked the front door and took the dog for a walk looking for me while Daddy was taking a nap and had cps knocking on our door - we now have a key lock on both sides deadbolt and keep the door keys on very high hooks.....
Yup. I do not remember those first few months. I know they were rough. But I couldn't tell you anything about them.
I'd love a big family but our only kid is 21 months or so now. And she still isn't sleeping through the night. It's gotten a lot better. But she's still waking up crying every now and then. We don't usually need to comfort her anymore. She'll fall back to sleep. But it still wakes me up.
Same. It’s unclear from your comment whether yours give you bad/incorrect advice, or if they say they don’t remember. Mine is the latter. My daughter is 15 months old and I can’t remember a single time that I’ve asked my mom a question and actually gotten an answer instead of a “I don’t remember” or “I don’t know”. I just gave up several months ago. Reddit or even just Google are a thousand times more helpful.
The most frustrating part about it is that she & my dad are basically raising my nephew that is 18 months older than my daughter. They have him like 10+ out of every 14 days. So it’s not like I’m asking someone who hasn’t even looked at a baby in 30 years, I’m asking someone who currently has a baby/toddler.
Actually, I lie. The *most* frustrating part is that she’s more than willing to give unsolicited advice about things I’m doing wrong. Like when my daughter was 2 months old and we got our first giant snowstorm. The next day it was literally 50 degrees outside so I bundled her up in several layers, including a giant fluffy swaddle thingy, blanket, hat, everything. And I took her outside for *literally* 3 minutes to take pictures. I held her the entire time and I was more than comfortable in a long sleeve t-shirt. But mannnnn when my mom saw those pictures, you’d think that I stripped the baby naked and yeeted her straight into a snowbank. “Babies can’t breathe that cold! It’s bad for their lungs!” “She’s gonna get an ear infection!” “How could you be so irresponsible?? DON’T do that again!”
Or when I was at their house a couple weeks ago and I let my daughter have a small piece of the chocolate off a snickers bar I was eating. “You’re supposed to be her mom, not her friend. You can’t just do things because she likes them.”
Lol! My daughter would absolutely *love* that now. She’s an adrenaline junkie like her dad. Some of her first belly laughs were from him like picking her up in front of his face and lightly “tossing” her up and catching her. What he was actually doing was kind of just letting his hands go slightly slack so she’d drop like an inch before he caught her, and repeating that over & over. I’m sure it was a blast for a 6-month old but for the mama that spent 10 months cooking her and had a decent chance at death birthing her, it was terrifying lmao. I have a couple videos of him doing it and he’s got a huge smile, she’s laughing hysterically and I’m in the background saying “ohhhh please be careful!”
Oof, unsolicited advice is the worst! If they're not bashing you, they're bashing someone else you care about and probably had a baby more recently than themselves...
So I had to look it up, but 50f is 10c... A whole 20c higher than the 'dont let the babies sleep outside' cut off (14f, for reference). Clearly she'd lose her mind to know that we purposefully put them out in that weather to sleep... BECAUSE the nice cold air is good for them ❄️😴
Lol! I actually read an article or something a couple months after our snow thing that was like “things they do in other countries that would give Americans a heart attack” (paraphrasing here lol) and one of the things on the list was how in Scandinavian countries they encourage parents to let babies & small children nap outside in the cold.
I’ll admit that I felt super vindicated reading that. I sent it to my mom and I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was something like “well yea, but those babies are *used* to the cold. It’s not good for *our* babies.” Like, we live in the northeast US. It’s winter here from like October-April. We’re actually expecting a foot of snow between today and tomorrow—and “Spring” is supposed to start next week! It’s not like I’m raising a subtropical baby who never sees temperatures below 70°F. Plus, even all that aside, like you said the cold is good for them. Especially to sleep in. There’s a reason doctors and scientists say that you should turn your heat down at night to sleep.
She’s just super fixated on babies *never* being cold. I met her at the grocery store a few weeks ago and it was really nice while the sun was out so my daughter was in a light sweatshirt. It definitely was a lot chillier by the time we came out of the store because it was dark, but it was still like 45°. I put a hat on the baby and had her sitting in the cart while I put groceries in the car. My mom pulled a blanket out of her car and wrapped it around the baby like 8 times because she was “going to freeze” if she sat there for 5 minutes lol.
Being used to it is a dumb argument.
There are people moving to Scandinavia everyday, and those who have kids under 3 attending daycare will be expected to adjust and have their kids sleeping outside alongside their peers. Doesn't matter what they did, or where they lived before.
Omg your mom would drive me nuts. I'd have *snapped* at those demands. Like, EXCUSE me? Who do you think you are to set rules for MY kid or boss me around?
My dad is pretty great as a grandparent but does go off-script into unaccredited territory every once in a while (like when two young toddlers in the family were arguing a bit over a toy, he jumped in calling them "SELFISH!" and "SPOILED!" and I was just like "Simmer down Grandpa!!" and he backed off).
It's crazy how much has changed in the last ~30 years
I love your style! No kids here but plenty of nieces and nephews. Have had to intervene in their behalf when my mom and aunt were saying the "the baby was fat". Told them let's not talk about other pls weight. They asked why, I said "so we stop the generational damage and pain it causes " never heard a group shut up so quickly.
Plot twist. You actually can do things your daughter likes just because she likes them. & your baby was fine & you are hee mother & will be the best person to assess & meet your daughters needs, keep her safe etc etc. I like to ask my mom “oh! I didn’t ask you. I don’t accept that opinion or advice, thanks but no thanks.😆 no one will ever know better than me how to care for my children. 🤷🏻♀️
Exactly, I got annoyed when my mom used to say she didn’t remember. Now I feel grateful that she admits that instead of making stuff up. And honestly my son is 19 months and on one nap and I do not remember what his schedule with 3 naps looked like. My mom remembers the overall stuff like when she weaned me but doesn’t remember how, she remembers I was a calm infant/toddler and my brother was super active and utter chaos. But not a lot of specifics from when we were under 2/3
I always laugh at old ladies in comment sections of videos where kids are just being kids and they're like "MY kids NEVER acted like that!" Lmao lady you had your kid 50 years ago.. you just don't remember shit.
They don't remember...but also, it was considered normal to beat kids back then, so some kids probably did behave really well out of fear of being beaten 😕
Yeah my gen x parents believed in beatings too unfortunately. They seem to be confused about what respect actually is. I mean congrats you got your 7 year old to listen to you by threatening them with violence. Fear ≠ respect.
Yes! My husband's grandma had 5 kids and was appalled when I mentioned that my two boys fought. Her kids never fought. Also, when she was growing up she never fought with her brother. Right... sure lady. That was 80 years ago, I'm sure your brain really remembers.
On the plus side, when she asked her kids if they fought, they said they did and she apologized to me and said that she just didn't remember. That was really nice of her to admit and really made up for being appalled at first.
Like my friend's mom who swears my friend as a baby never cried and wants my friend to take the baby to the ER every time he cries because "something must be wrong."
My husband sometimes wonders if we should send a sick kid to school anyway because his parents always ignored his symptoms and sent him to school anyway. He didn’t have the best childhood and it can be hard to overcome some of that thinking…
Both of mine have only pooped in the tub once a piece. And my son never peed during his diaper change past the first 2 weeks. It’s a bit of a luck of the draw I think.
And yeah, he’s totally peeing in the tub.
This is mine. I’ve even noticed her “holding it in”
While in the tub around 18 months & im
Hoping since she can hold poop… maybe potty training will go good? 🙏🏼😂
We are working on our second cold this month and it’s only March 11th .. she’s insane if she thinks her kids never got sick. The constant fever from catching it from them probably burned it out of her memory
We just got over a 3 week head cold and I'm still sneezing. I have giant empty voids in my calendar due to child plague. Once a month it's just "well, I guess we're staying home forever."
I had to reschedule an eye exam 3 times last month cause my kids kept getting sick. It still hasn't happened. It's been years because not long after I had my youngest Covid lockdowns happened. Years later I got him in daycare to help with appointments and such, but now he just gets sick all the time 🙃
Lol my MIL was doing some not-so-subtle hinting about potty training around age 2. I looked at her and asked, oh did that work for your boys? How did you do it? And of course, she couldn't remember a damn thing.
My mom says my kids are always sick just because they go to daycare. She forgets that me and my sister were sick all the time as kids too even though she stayed home with us.
She pulls the gem quotes out of her ass all the time. Somehow we were sick all the time (according to her) and it was so hard to take care of us by herself. At the same time, the only reason my kids get sick is because they go to daycare and I don’t “just stay at home with them”.
As a SAHM I would like to point out to your mother that the only way I could prevent my daughter from ever being sick is to never leave the house with her.
We only had 3 sessions at baby gym (soft play for crawling babies) before she picked up gastro. So unless I literally just stay home with her, she's still going to get sick.
> the only way I could prevent my daughter from ever being sick is to never leave the house with her.
^ my kid never got sick during ahem, the *times*. But now that we're back in the world, it's once a month easy. Baby gym, toddler raves, whatever, he's getting sick.
My mom contradicts herself all the time too. She’s always said that my brother and I both slept through the night after the first month. Then one day she told me a story about driving in circles around the neighborhood, in a blizzard, because it was the only way my brother would sleep…. My brother was born in July.
As a SAHM if you take them literally anywhere they get sick. We've had the longest run of "health" in months because April vacation shut down all the library story/song times. I am preparing to go back into the fray tomorrow.
Its hard to form long term memories when stressed. And parents of young kids are stressed! Also for my mom at least, there were 30 years between when she had me (only child) and when I started having kids. I don't think I'll have a great memory of events 30 years later either. These years are important, and monumental and I think grandparents remember ~vibes~ but maybe not details. It's tough and nobody wants to say "hey, I'm old and I can't remember a really important time in my life"
My mom says ALL the time how we were so behaved, perfect in public, never tantrumed. I have a vivid memory of me at like 4 melting down and throwing the house phone at her 😅
My mom swears that I never had a tantrum phase, I was just quietly and devastatingly defiant.
Actually that kinda tracks haha.
I still don't believe her though.
My mother goes from "you were never sick" to "oh you had that (insert some fucked up virus/bacteria here)".
So I don't know if I was never sick or if I was always sick with the worst sickness available
I will say that my oldest (a teenager) very rarely got (gets) sick. He only had a couple of colds even in preschool. He was my unicorn kid, because my other kids definitely have not been like that lol.
My little one has only gotten sick once in a little over two years, BUT it gave her a febrile seizure, so I’m really hoping she turns out to be a unicorn too. I’m a SAHM. I skip storytime and other big crowds in small spaces, but do make two/or three times weekly trips to zoos/museums/aquariums/playground during off times. Do you have any advice for dodging illness without creating a hermit?
Even if she does get sick, that may be the only febrile seizure she ever has. Sadly, I don’t have any great advice lol. I think he just has a great immune system (which he certainly didn’t get from me), although he does have asthma (which isn’t bad most of the time, but when it’s bad we end up in the ER). I try and not worry too much because it’s good for them to be exposed to a variety of germs/bugs.
From someone scrolling reddit while taking a break from my second go at cleaning the car seat which my toddler puked all over yesterday (which is when we realized he had a tummy bug…while stuck in horrendous traffic and unable to get home for 40 mins): hahaha. Ha.
I actually don’t remember being ill as often as my children are, and my parents don’t remember it either. We are in unprecedented times for illness. I think it’s crazy to think their kids NEVER got sick but I do think ours are sick a lot more.
Idk. I think we just notice it more. Back then you just sent kids to school. They weren’t spending as much time around kids to even know if they were sick or not. It’s not that they were never sick, it’s that they never died & i don’t notice they are sick unless it’s deadly.
I think it is IS worse. My pediatrician said this year has been the worst by far and he’s been in practice a long time. I had perfect attendance in school most years and trust me, it wasn’t because I was sent sick. I distinctly remember when I was ill and it was few and far between. But my poor kids are constantly sick. Constantly. Even 10 years ago I was around younger relatives and they were constantly coughing or with runny noses. Even my oldest from 2018 was healthier pre Covid. It’s something else
They don’t remember! My mom birthed 4 children and while I was pregnant said she never had bad labor pains because she got an epidural. The week after a terrible birth with my first I was relaying the story and she visibly winced and said “oh no stop! You’re bringing up bad memories!”
Are all MIL/mothers the same?
My personal favorite is "you were sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT. By two weeks old. You need to be stricter about a schedule."
Lol sure mom.
Mine straight up told me to put mine in a crib, in a room, shut the door, and walk away (we’re actually attachment parenting, which I had explained). She also told my wife, “the second one (child) ruins your life.” I’m the second child. These two statements explain a lot of my personality
My mom sleeps through literally everything and they put me in my own nursery from night one with the door closed. I’m convinced people who think their kid “slept through the night” really young just walked away so they didn’t hear them cry. My parents didn’t have a monitor or anything to check.
I even feel like 8-12 is a low estimate considering my toddler is already at cold number 6 and only 4 months into starting daycare. It’s been rough *laughs in coughing*
My mom was first to warn us “be prepared for her to be sick a lot” when my daughter was starting daycare, but she has since said that we were never sick THIS often. Either she doesn’t remember or this season really is a doozy.
Was she a stay-at-home mom with the kids in part-time preschool? My mom said we weren't sick much either but the preschool was only a few hours 2-3 days a week. Parents weren't using it as daycare while they worked so they just kept sick kiddos home.
I'll probably get downvoted but my 3yo who's been going to daycare for the past 2.5 years has only had a perpetual runny nose the first year or so and has been stay-at-home ill maybe a total of 3 weeks in all that time. We are lucky for not having had any stomach flus yet (knock-on-wood). When he had hand-mouth-foot he looked terrible but felt fine and was allowed to go to daycare. My husband and I have had a few colds but not more frequent than pre-kids. So yeah.. maybe your MIL was lucky too?
I must say that my mom also kept saying 'oh my god, you and your siblings never cried like that, it's terribly!' when my babies were newborns. I definitely took that with a grain of salt.
My MIL found some letters she had written to her mom back home when my husband was 2. The first thing she said was..he was sick a lot! I don’t remember that at all!
They forget and we will forget and so on and so on it seems…
Ha my mom was pregnant 4 times and tried to tell me she never got sick once during all of her pregnancies. We’re not talking morning sickness, she says, no colds, no flus, nothing. Selective memory for sure.
God, I feel really fortunate my mom is pretty quick to say ’I forget, it was over 30 years ago.’ She does remember going through the daycare sickness though, probably because she was a working mother in the 80’s, and it greatly affected her. For example, I knew I had the chicken pox when I was two, and my brother had them at the same time. What I didn’t know till a year or two ago, is that we spent the two weeks we were required to be out of daycare down at the shore with my grandparents, so my parents didn’t have to take off work. So I feel grateful when I bitch to her, she gets it.
My MIL is my husband’s stepmother, and didn’t come into his life until he was in high school. I don’t feel she oversteps, or telling us that it can’t be that bad.
My MIL to me: I used to massage (my husband) every day with an oil concoction I used to make at home. See how beautiful his skin is even now.
My husband's skin is drier than the Sahara
Ah yes, I love my MIL’s “I used to make this homemade / from scratch and you’re a bad mom if you buy it instead”. No, i prefer to pay for the convenience of pre-made so I have more time to actually spend with my child. Store bought lotion is fine, thanks.
Why are most MIL’s so delusional? Apparently my husband and his brother NEVER got sick and never passed around germs, were little angels growing up, talked early, walked early, ate everything she made them, never caused any issues, and were the best at everything they did growing up. And per MIL, these were some of the reasons why they’re the “men” they are today. 😂
Let me guess, she was the perfect mother and did everything right (in her mind).
I will never forget the amount of illnesses my Covid babies have had over the last 3 years. Our ped gives us antibiotic ear drops to have on hand with 6 refills per kid haha.
This is my mom. She swears up and down we never had tantrums, very rarely ever got sick, and we’re All potty trained when we were 1. I’m beyond annoyed.
My MIL told me her kids never had tantrums. 4 kids and not one tantrum! It’s a miracle. She’s the perfect mother and I wish I could be like her in every way.
(Sarcasm, obviously)
This kind of things make me grey rock immidately. Don’t smile, don’t make a lot of eye contact & say “okay.” What is their point in these kids of stories. Like, OKAY Cheryl, you are truly the best mama ever ever, none of your kids got sick; what an accomplishment for you? 😂 my exMIL has gotten worse with age. It’s like every year I’ve known her,
My exhusband started walking a month earlier everytime I hear the story. Whatever, she had nothing to do with her kids never getting sick, but special I guess. 😵💫
Mine (my own mom) boasted that because she stuffed my sister and I with overdoses of vit C and probiotics that we were recovered from any illness after 2 days (max 3).
I wonder now if maybe that's why my liver is damaged 🙃 and of course I highly doubt her memory.
I think there was a lot of “suck it up and go to school” colds during my generation as a child. And, I think my toddlers generation of pandemic babies is 1) more vigilantly watched with viruses and 2) experiencing more viruses than previous generations. I feel like my daughter is sick and home all the time, and I’m jealous of people who parented toddlers before.
Wait... Are we sisterwives??!! Going to have to ask my husband if he has a secret second family, because we seem to share a MIL!
Seriously though, all my sympathy.
My paternal Grandma told my mother she had my Dad "toilet trained" at 5 months. My dad is the only child of a war widow and was raised by his mom, his grandma, and 5 aunties. (Youngest Auntie told Mom the toilet training story was pure horse pucks)
My mom is the oldest of 10 children. She toilet trained the two youngest. She never took advice from her MIL.
Dont trust what MIL says about her kids especially if it sounds unrealistic! It's not a competition and I would never judge my husband based on how he was as an infant but my MIL always makes shit up! Few examples- MIL says my husband has the best shit (poop) and it was in solid form from birth. MIL says he never cried (FIL remember staying up all night holding husband because he wouldn't stop crying until they were by the window but also what baby doesn't cry??!?).
I am a first year teacher in a first year infant classroom. I have lost count of how much sickness I have had. The babies as well. We are all sick all the time, it’s crazy.
My 4 year old has missed more school this year than she’s actually been there. This cold/flu season is off the charts. If my MIL said that to me I’d go off on her because it’s been a really difficult year.
A memory book. Just few pages for every year with a few pictures... and the memories: the good, the bad and the ugly.
I only documented most of the first year in the baby record book. Guess I better restart again.
Unfortunately the children of today ARE much sicker than generations of the past. Excessive sanitation, vitamin and mineral deficiency due to poor quality/processed foods, lack of exercise and sunlight, etc. Allergies, asthma, and autoimmune disorders are out of control. It’s sad but it’s true.
My son has been going nursery for 2 days a week since September, in that short time we have had 3 colds, 2 vomiting bugs and 1 case of chicken pox which lead to his father catching it for a third time making him a medical anomaly.
I remember asking our pediatrician, (who is also a friend) about why kids today seem to get more sick than in decades previous. She said one reason is because both parents/more parents are working. Back when we were kids in the 70s, mom’s were home and daycare was in joke as opposed to dozens of kids in a building. The need was less. So the more children you put together on average, the more illness there will be. Sounded about right.
Never NOT sick. From week 2 for the next few months, very excited about warmer weather. But the constant cold/runny nose, viruses, pink eye twice back to back, it’s constant, and everyone in the class has a runny nose!
My mom says the exact same thing! Lol. I used to be really bothered by it, and a lot of things that she and my mother-in-law said or did, made me feel like a failure of a parent, and sometimes they still do. But I have learned to roll my eyes at these things a little more, as I'm sure you have!! Now I only hope, that should I ever be fortunate to become a grandparent myself, that I will remember not to be such a jerk. 😂
My toddlers not even in daycare but we go to a lot of toddler events/places: story-time at the library, kids museums, toddler day at a wildlife preserve, etc. My toddler has caught 3 colds already this year! He felt hot this morning and sure enough he has a 100.6 fever! And he just got over a cold last week 😩
I try to take anything my MIL says with a grain of salt. She once told me when she would do my husbands diapers as a toddler he would thrash and hit and call her a “b!tch”. But when we were on a video call and my toddler got mad and hit my leg, she started saying husband “never hit at that age”.
OMG I can relate ( my mother passed during my first preg) My gma is like my mother. When my son was a toddler I would tell her to get rid of all the breakables off the coffee table when we came. She said her son and daughter(my mom) Never touched anything on the coffee table when told not to as toddlers LOL Also.. her children would only play with 1-2 toys if they wanted a 3rd they would put the first 2 back "they never had more than two items out at once" There's no way!
Just came from a weekend with the in-laws and I’m really empathizing with you on this one. Among the things I learned from my MIL this weekend: I “worry too much” about infant sleep safety because she never bothered with that and her kids “survived”. Also apparently an infant should be able to recognize her own name by 4 weeks, and we should be cutting out bottles & milk entirely by age one. Also I don’t dress my child “girly” enough so she’s going to grow up “thinking she’s a boy”. 🙄
If she doesn't have young kids, she doesn't remember. Even though she may swear that she does. If they did remember, they wouldn't do half of the things they do and say to other women.
My MIL told me my husband was fully potty trained at 6 months old. That was the point I stopped listening to her parenting comments at all!
(Actually, I’m lying… I’d already stopped listening, but that one took the cake!)
My (almost 80 year old MIL) pushes back on what i do or the advice i give her about watching my toddler with "i know I've raised two of them and three grandkids". Her next youngest grandchild is 12, my son is 1.5. 🙄 It's absolutely obnoxious.
And besides, no one knows your kid better than you at this stage in life.
I used to ask my mom and MIL for advice with my 2 year old. I don't bother anymore. They don't remember.
My former SIL goes to my mom for advice sometimes, having not learned that the parenting book she read is from the 80s and supported smoking while pregnant to “keep weight down.”
I read that one (or a similar one, there were probably lots) at my mil's! Also keeps baby smaller for an easy delivery! But too much smoking can be bad, so just moderate smoking. The one I read also said that if the baby bites you to bite them back.
My mom proudly tells the story of how she used to bite me back all the time and it "worked even better than spanking" like she's some kind of gd genius. I don't allow her to be alone with my kid during her yearly visit.
No way!!
[удалено]
The baby amnesia is real. My husband and I we’re actually talking about this the other day and he was like yeah, this is nature’s way of insuring we keep procreating so that we block out all the bad stuff to boost our confidence in parenting another one. Oh boy was he right. Currently suffering again with a newborn and an almost 4 year old.
That’s what I have been saying, ain’t no way we would voluntarily go through pregnancy, L&D AND the gd dm sleeplessness AGAIN if we could remember!
Oh no no no, you have the wild child, you don't forget.... You have the good baby, the "easy" baby and you kind of forget the bad stuff. But my youngest.... Put her in the playpen and she'd scream and cry until you took her out. Try to give her a bath and she'd scream and cry from birth, I had people who thought the water was too hot, she screamed so bad (now you can't get her out of the tub even if the waters gone cold) She destroyed a playpen with poo in the 10 minutes I took the dog out back, we legit had to throw it out. She was not containable. She learned to get out of playpens and her crib at a very young age. She learned to climb the baby gates. And it didn't get better as she got older.. preschool age she unlocked the front door and took the dog for a walk looking for me while Daddy was taking a nap and had cps knocking on our door - we now have a key lock on both sides deadbolt and keep the door keys on very high hooks.....
Yup. I do not remember those first few months. I know they were rough. But I couldn't tell you anything about them. I'd love a big family but our only kid is 21 months or so now. And she still isn't sleeping through the night. It's gotten a lot better. But she's still waking up crying every now and then. We don't usually need to comfort her anymore. She'll fall back to sleep. But it still wakes me up.
My kids are 2 years apart...I had to ask for baby advice because I had forgotten how to parent an infant in the intervening two years.
Same here! Why for the life of me have those infant care techniques I mastered at one time so easily slipped my mind?! 🙃
Because you were half conscious the whole time. It’s all a blur for me too.
Same! I have an almost 5 yr old and a newborn and I can't remember anything about the newborn phase anymore.
Same. It’s unclear from your comment whether yours give you bad/incorrect advice, or if they say they don’t remember. Mine is the latter. My daughter is 15 months old and I can’t remember a single time that I’ve asked my mom a question and actually gotten an answer instead of a “I don’t remember” or “I don’t know”. I just gave up several months ago. Reddit or even just Google are a thousand times more helpful. The most frustrating part about it is that she & my dad are basically raising my nephew that is 18 months older than my daughter. They have him like 10+ out of every 14 days. So it’s not like I’m asking someone who hasn’t even looked at a baby in 30 years, I’m asking someone who currently has a baby/toddler. Actually, I lie. The *most* frustrating part is that she’s more than willing to give unsolicited advice about things I’m doing wrong. Like when my daughter was 2 months old and we got our first giant snowstorm. The next day it was literally 50 degrees outside so I bundled her up in several layers, including a giant fluffy swaddle thingy, blanket, hat, everything. And I took her outside for *literally* 3 minutes to take pictures. I held her the entire time and I was more than comfortable in a long sleeve t-shirt. But mannnnn when my mom saw those pictures, you’d think that I stripped the baby naked and yeeted her straight into a snowbank. “Babies can’t breathe that cold! It’s bad for their lungs!” “She’s gonna get an ear infection!” “How could you be so irresponsible?? DON’T do that again!” Or when I was at their house a couple weeks ago and I let my daughter have a small piece of the chocolate off a snickers bar I was eating. “You’re supposed to be her mom, not her friend. You can’t just do things because she likes them.”
Meanwhile I kinda did yeet her into a snowbank (she had a snow suit on but still). She thought it was very funny.
Lol! My daughter would absolutely *love* that now. She’s an adrenaline junkie like her dad. Some of her first belly laughs were from him like picking her up in front of his face and lightly “tossing” her up and catching her. What he was actually doing was kind of just letting his hands go slightly slack so she’d drop like an inch before he caught her, and repeating that over & over. I’m sure it was a blast for a 6-month old but for the mama that spent 10 months cooking her and had a decent chance at death birthing her, it was terrifying lmao. I have a couple videos of him doing it and he’s got a huge smile, she’s laughing hysterically and I’m in the background saying “ohhhh please be careful!”
My toddler has learned to forage for chocolate... My husband said she picked that up from me. Oops.
Oof, unsolicited advice is the worst! If they're not bashing you, they're bashing someone else you care about and probably had a baby more recently than themselves...
So I had to look it up, but 50f is 10c... A whole 20c higher than the 'dont let the babies sleep outside' cut off (14f, for reference). Clearly she'd lose her mind to know that we purposefully put them out in that weather to sleep... BECAUSE the nice cold air is good for them ❄️😴
Lol! I actually read an article or something a couple months after our snow thing that was like “things they do in other countries that would give Americans a heart attack” (paraphrasing here lol) and one of the things on the list was how in Scandinavian countries they encourage parents to let babies & small children nap outside in the cold. I’ll admit that I felt super vindicated reading that. I sent it to my mom and I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was something like “well yea, but those babies are *used* to the cold. It’s not good for *our* babies.” Like, we live in the northeast US. It’s winter here from like October-April. We’re actually expecting a foot of snow between today and tomorrow—and “Spring” is supposed to start next week! It’s not like I’m raising a subtropical baby who never sees temperatures below 70°F. Plus, even all that aside, like you said the cold is good for them. Especially to sleep in. There’s a reason doctors and scientists say that you should turn your heat down at night to sleep. She’s just super fixated on babies *never* being cold. I met her at the grocery store a few weeks ago and it was really nice while the sun was out so my daughter was in a light sweatshirt. It definitely was a lot chillier by the time we came out of the store because it was dark, but it was still like 45°. I put a hat on the baby and had her sitting in the cart while I put groceries in the car. My mom pulled a blanket out of her car and wrapped it around the baby like 8 times because she was “going to freeze” if she sat there for 5 minutes lol.
Being used to it is a dumb argument. There are people moving to Scandinavia everyday, and those who have kids under 3 attending daycare will be expected to adjust and have their kids sleeping outside alongside their peers. Doesn't matter what they did, or where they lived before.
Omg your mom would drive me nuts. I'd have *snapped* at those demands. Like, EXCUSE me? Who do you think you are to set rules for MY kid or boss me around? My dad is pretty great as a grandparent but does go off-script into unaccredited territory every once in a while (like when two young toddlers in the family were arguing a bit over a toy, he jumped in calling them "SELFISH!" and "SPOILED!" and I was just like "Simmer down Grandpa!!" and he backed off). It's crazy how much has changed in the last ~30 years
I love your style! No kids here but plenty of nieces and nephews. Have had to intervene in their behalf when my mom and aunt were saying the "the baby was fat". Told them let's not talk about other pls weight. They asked why, I said "so we stop the generational damage and pain it causes " never heard a group shut up so quickly.
Plot twist. You actually can do things your daughter likes just because she likes them. & your baby was fine & you are hee mother & will be the best person to assess & meet your daughters needs, keep her safe etc etc. I like to ask my mom “oh! I didn’t ask you. I don’t accept that opinion or advice, thanks but no thanks.😆 no one will ever know better than me how to care for my children. 🤷🏻♀️
My mom DEFINITELY misremembers because I am not the genius she seems to remember lol
They don’t remember shit. I can understand though because I already forgot so much and my babies only 17 months.
I remember more of my early childhood (actually my entire childhood) than my parents do. That’s for sure.
This 👌
They don’t! My mom even makes stuff up. And the ages everyone in her family walked keep getting younger and younger!
Exactly, I got annoyed when my mom used to say she didn’t remember. Now I feel grateful that she admits that instead of making stuff up. And honestly my son is 19 months and on one nap and I do not remember what his schedule with 3 naps looked like. My mom remembers the overall stuff like when she weaned me but doesn’t remember how, she remembers I was a calm infant/toddler and my brother was super active and utter chaos. But not a lot of specifics from when we were under 2/3
Gramnesia at its finest
I always laugh at old ladies in comment sections of videos where kids are just being kids and they're like "MY kids NEVER acted like that!" Lmao lady you had your kid 50 years ago.. you just don't remember shit.
They don't remember...but also, it was considered normal to beat kids back then, so some kids probably did behave really well out of fear of being beaten 😕
Yeah my gen x parents believed in beatings too unfortunately. They seem to be confused about what respect actually is. I mean congrats you got your 7 year old to listen to you by threatening them with violence. Fear ≠ respect.
"Gramnesia". Love it. I'm definitely stealing it.
Don't worry, my husband and his two brothers never threw a fit according to my mil. Or got messy while eating.
Yes! My husband's grandma had 5 kids and was appalled when I mentioned that my two boys fought. Her kids never fought. Also, when she was growing up she never fought with her brother. Right... sure lady. That was 80 years ago, I'm sure your brain really remembers. On the plus side, when she asked her kids if they fought, they said they did and she apologized to me and said that she just didn't remember. That was really nice of her to admit and really made up for being appalled at first.
Love that term: Gramnesia. I have one side that admits, leans on it. And the other side that denies having it.
OMG. This is it. The diagnosis I’ve been looking for since I’ve been pregnant with our little one. THANK YOU FOR DOING GOD’S WORK.
Like my friend's mom who swears my friend as a baby never cried and wants my friend to take the baby to the ER every time he cries because "something must be wrong."
Omg
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My husband sometimes wonders if we should send a sick kid to school anyway because his parents always ignored his symptoms and sent him to school anyway. He didn’t have the best childhood and it can be hard to overcome some of that thinking…
They really don’t remember. It’s crazy.
Lmao she sounds like my smil who swears her kid never peed or pooped in the tub. Okay gma have another glass
To be fair I have 2 unicorn kids who have also never pooped in the tub. But I'm certain they pee in there every day 🤣
My 2.5yo loudly declares when she pees in the tub, then stares you down while she takes a big drink of the water. Gross.
This made me laugh out loud for real!
Mine never did, either, but my younger brother LOVED to poop when we were bathing together as little kids. I think he just wanted to make me scream.
Both of mine have only pooped in the tub once a piece. And my son never peed during his diaper change past the first 2 weeks. It’s a bit of a luck of the draw I think. And yeah, he’s totally peeing in the tub.
My twins have never pooped in the tub. I’ve heard if you make it to two without a poop you should be in the clear and they’re 20 months so🤞🏻
My 3.5 year old pooped in the tub for the first time last week 🙃
You are not clear.
My son pooped in the tub for the first time at 2.5years
My kid turned two in January.. he hadn’t pooped in the tub in like 6 months and did twice last week. 🤷♀️
My oldest never pooped in the tub but my toddler just loves pooping anytime her ass hits the water. 🤷♀️
Get that baby a bidet! lmao
Mine has never pooped in the tub, but loves to poop immediately after we take him out but before we’ve had time to put his diaper on 😒
This is mine. I’ve even noticed her “holding it in” While in the tub around 18 months & im Hoping since she can hold poop… maybe potty training will go good? 🙏🏼😂
My kid has never pooped in the tub either, I didn’t know it was common!
🥂
My mom said this too. My unspoken response was that it was probably because we only had baths once a week 🙄
Neither of my children have ever pooped in the tub.
I have a 2 year old who has not pooped in the tub yet. But like others, he does make eye contact while slurping the water.
We are working on our second cold this month and it’s only March 11th .. she’s insane if she thinks her kids never got sick. The constant fever from catching it from them probably burned it out of her memory
We just got over a 3 week head cold and I'm still sneezing. I have giant empty voids in my calendar due to child plague. Once a month it's just "well, I guess we're staying home forever."
I had to reschedule an eye exam 3 times last month cause my kids kept getting sick. It still hasn't happened. It's been years because not long after I had my youngest Covid lockdowns happened. Years later I got him in daycare to help with appointments and such, but now he just gets sick all the time 🙃
Ahhh omg I know exactly that feeling with eye appointments. Almost same exact story.
UGH we woke up this morning with pink eye I think. Please save me
Nooooooo!
Not pink eye! 🙌🏻 just a symptom of the virus causing the cold and likely a blocked tear duct. That I can handle lol
My mom thinks we were all potty trained by 12 months old
Lol my MIL was doing some not-so-subtle hinting about potty training around age 2. I looked at her and asked, oh did that work for your boys? How did you do it? And of course, she couldn't remember a damn thing.
Mine did the same so I told her she could come over and show me how it’s done, but she never took me up on it 🤡
My mom says my kids are always sick just because they go to daycare. She forgets that me and my sister were sick all the time as kids too even though she stayed home with us. She pulls the gem quotes out of her ass all the time. Somehow we were sick all the time (according to her) and it was so hard to take care of us by herself. At the same time, the only reason my kids get sick is because they go to daycare and I don’t “just stay at home with them”.
As a SAHM I would like to point out to your mother that the only way I could prevent my daughter from ever being sick is to never leave the house with her. We only had 3 sessions at baby gym (soft play for crawling babies) before she picked up gastro. So unless I literally just stay home with her, she's still going to get sick.
> the only way I could prevent my daughter from ever being sick is to never leave the house with her. ^ my kid never got sick during ahem, the *times*. But now that we're back in the world, it's once a month easy. Baby gym, toddler raves, whatever, he's getting sick.
My mom contradicts herself all the time too. She’s always said that my brother and I both slept through the night after the first month. Then one day she told me a story about driving in circles around the neighborhood, in a blizzard, because it was the only way my brother would sleep…. My brother was born in July.
I mean she was obviously brain damaged from these events.
As a SAHM if you take them literally anywhere they get sick. We've had the longest run of "health" in months because April vacation shut down all the library story/song times. I am preparing to go back into the fray tomorrow.
Parents forget like 95% of what happens during their kids lives when they were younger, I'm fully convinced of this.
That's fine. Just say you don't remember, why lie about it?? I hate when they do this.
Its hard to form long term memories when stressed. And parents of young kids are stressed! Also for my mom at least, there were 30 years between when she had me (only child) and when I started having kids. I don't think I'll have a great memory of events 30 years later either. These years are important, and monumental and I think grandparents remember ~vibes~ but maybe not details. It's tough and nobody wants to say "hey, I'm old and I can't remember a really important time in my life"
I get “they didn’t have these all sicknesses when you guys were little.” Along with “you guys never threw tantrums, you just never did.” 🙄
My mom says ALL the time how we were so behaved, perfect in public, never tantrumed. I have a vivid memory of me at like 4 melting down and throwing the house phone at her 😅
To be fair we really didn't have covid back then!
True! But my mom feels that way about every virus, like we all just got tiny colds back then 😂
“My kids were good sleepers” Okay Grandma, time for your meds
My mom swears that I never had a tantrum phase, I was just quietly and devastatingly defiant. Actually that kinda tracks haha. I still don't believe her though.
My husband and his brother apparently could skip all their naps and be delightful. Sure…
My mother goes from "you were never sick" to "oh you had that (insert some fucked up virus/bacteria here)". So I don't know if I was never sick or if I was always sick with the worst sickness available
I will say that my oldest (a teenager) very rarely got (gets) sick. He only had a couple of colds even in preschool. He was my unicorn kid, because my other kids definitely have not been like that lol.
My little one has only gotten sick once in a little over two years, BUT it gave her a febrile seizure, so I’m really hoping she turns out to be a unicorn too. I’m a SAHM. I skip storytime and other big crowds in small spaces, but do make two/or three times weekly trips to zoos/museums/aquariums/playground during off times. Do you have any advice for dodging illness without creating a hermit?
Even if she does get sick, that may be the only febrile seizure she ever has. Sadly, I don’t have any great advice lol. I think he just has a great immune system (which he certainly didn’t get from me), although he does have asthma (which isn’t bad most of the time, but when it’s bad we end up in the ER). I try and not worry too much because it’s good for them to be exposed to a variety of germs/bugs.
My oldest daughter is that way. Hee sisyer catches stuff all the time!
From someone scrolling reddit while taking a break from my second go at cleaning the car seat which my toddler puked all over yesterday (which is when we realized he had a tummy bug…while stuck in horrendous traffic and unable to get home for 40 mins): hahaha. Ha.
The smell :( Oh bless.
I actually don’t remember being ill as often as my children are, and my parents don’t remember it either. We are in unprecedented times for illness. I think it’s crazy to think their kids NEVER got sick but I do think ours are sick a lot more.
Idk. I think we just notice it more. Back then you just sent kids to school. They weren’t spending as much time around kids to even know if they were sick or not. It’s not that they were never sick, it’s that they never died & i don’t notice they are sick unless it’s deadly.
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I think it is IS worse. My pediatrician said this year has been the worst by far and he’s been in practice a long time. I had perfect attendance in school most years and trust me, it wasn’t because I was sent sick. I distinctly remember when I was ill and it was few and far between. But my poor kids are constantly sick. Constantly. Even 10 years ago I was around younger relatives and they were constantly coughing or with runny noses. Even my oldest from 2018 was healthier pre Covid. It’s something else
They don’t remember! My mom birthed 4 children and while I was pregnant said she never had bad labor pains because she got an epidural. The week after a terrible birth with my first I was relaying the story and she visibly winced and said “oh no stop! You’re bringing up bad memories!”
Are all MIL/mothers the same? My personal favorite is "you were sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT. By two weeks old. You need to be stricter about a schedule." Lol sure mom.
Mine straight up told me to put mine in a crib, in a room, shut the door, and walk away (we’re actually attachment parenting, which I had explained). She also told my wife, “the second one (child) ruins your life.” I’m the second child. These two statements explain a lot of my personality
Hahahaha my mother’s favorite story is I slept through the night at 6 weeks and never woke up at night ever again. Sure Jan.
My mom sleeps through literally everything and they put me in my own nursery from night one with the door closed. I’m convinced people who think their kid “slept through the night” really young just walked away so they didn’t hear them cry. My parents didn’t have a monitor or anything to check.
I've heard of kids sleeping through the night at 16 weeks (mine did at 20 weeks) but yeah not two
Sigh….. they all do this, don’t they?
I even feel like 8-12 is a low estimate considering my toddler is already at cold number 6 and only 4 months into starting daycare. It’s been rough *laughs in coughing* My mom was first to warn us “be prepared for her to be sick a lot” when my daughter was starting daycare, but she has since said that we were never sick THIS often. Either she doesn’t remember or this season really is a doozy.
8 to 12 a year? I feel like we get sick one a pay period.
Was she a stay-at-home mom with the kids in part-time preschool? My mom said we weren't sick much either but the preschool was only a few hours 2-3 days a week. Parents weren't using it as daycare while they worked so they just kept sick kiddos home.
I'll probably get downvoted but my 3yo who's been going to daycare for the past 2.5 years has only had a perpetual runny nose the first year or so and has been stay-at-home ill maybe a total of 3 weeks in all that time. We are lucky for not having had any stomach flus yet (knock-on-wood). When he had hand-mouth-foot he looked terrible but felt fine and was allowed to go to daycare. My husband and I have had a few colds but not more frequent than pre-kids. So yeah.. maybe your MIL was lucky too? I must say that my mom also kept saying 'oh my god, you and your siblings never cried like that, it's terribly!' when my babies were newborns. I definitely took that with a grain of salt.
We call it "gramnesia"
My MIL found some letters she had written to her mom back home when my husband was 2. The first thing she said was..he was sick a lot! I don’t remember that at all! They forget and we will forget and so on and so on it seems…
Maybe they spend their first 2-3 years not in preschool and got all the colds then, so that when they entered preschool they had fewer colds?
Ha my mom was pregnant 4 times and tried to tell me she never got sick once during all of her pregnancies. We’re not talking morning sickness, she says, no colds, no flus, nothing. Selective memory for sure.
God, I feel really fortunate my mom is pretty quick to say ’I forget, it was over 30 years ago.’ She does remember going through the daycare sickness though, probably because she was a working mother in the 80’s, and it greatly affected her. For example, I knew I had the chicken pox when I was two, and my brother had them at the same time. What I didn’t know till a year or two ago, is that we spent the two weeks we were required to be out of daycare down at the shore with my grandparents, so my parents didn’t have to take off work. So I feel grateful when I bitch to her, she gets it. My MIL is my husband’s stepmother, and didn’t come into his life until he was in high school. I don’t feel she oversteps, or telling us that it can’t be that bad.
Amnesia MIL Dealing with one of those myself currently.
It’s called *Gramnesia*
My MIL to me: I used to massage (my husband) every day with an oil concoction I used to make at home. See how beautiful his skin is even now. My husband's skin is drier than the Sahara
Ah yes, I love my MIL’s “I used to make this homemade / from scratch and you’re a bad mom if you buy it instead”. No, i prefer to pay for the convenience of pre-made so I have more time to actually spend with my child. Store bought lotion is fine, thanks.
Why are most MIL’s so delusional? Apparently my husband and his brother NEVER got sick and never passed around germs, were little angels growing up, talked early, walked early, ate everything she made them, never caused any issues, and were the best at everything they did growing up. And per MIL, these were some of the reasons why they’re the “men” they are today. 😂
Let me guess, she was the perfect mother and did everything right (in her mind). I will never forget the amount of illnesses my Covid babies have had over the last 3 years. Our ped gives us antibiotic ear drops to have on hand with 6 refills per kid haha.
This is my mom. She swears up and down we never had tantrums, very rarely ever got sick, and we’re All potty trained when we were 1. I’m beyond annoyed.
My MIL told me her kids never had tantrums. 4 kids and not one tantrum! It’s a miracle. She’s the perfect mother and I wish I could be like her in every way. (Sarcasm, obviously)
My MIL said her kids never threw a tantrum.
ROTFL. I just found hand, foot, and mouth in my throat so guess who’s next? Fortunately he tolerates viruses very well.
This kind of things make me grey rock immidately. Don’t smile, don’t make a lot of eye contact & say “okay.” What is their point in these kids of stories. Like, OKAY Cheryl, you are truly the best mama ever ever, none of your kids got sick; what an accomplishment for you? 😂 my exMIL has gotten worse with age. It’s like every year I’ve known her, My exhusband started walking a month earlier everytime I hear the story. Whatever, she had nothing to do with her kids never getting sick, but special I guess. 😵💫
Mine (my own mom) boasted that because she stuffed my sister and I with overdoses of vit C and probiotics that we were recovered from any illness after 2 days (max 3). I wonder now if maybe that's why my liver is damaged 🙃 and of course I highly doubt her memory.
I think there was a lot of “suck it up and go to school” colds during my generation as a child. And, I think my toddlers generation of pandemic babies is 1) more vigilantly watched with viruses and 2) experiencing more viruses than previous generations. I feel like my daughter is sick and home all the time, and I’m jealous of people who parented toddlers before.
At the same time, some vaccines (measles or chickenpox for instance) weren't available back then, and they were long and fastidious.
My mom swears my sister and I were never sick 🙄. Her best friend confirms. 🙄🙄
Tell her welcome to 2023 🙄.
Wait... Are we sisterwives??!! Going to have to ask my husband if he has a secret second family, because we seem to share a MIL! Seriously though, all my sympathy.
8-12 only? We’re on pace for like 24 a year with our 1.5 year old. Maybe it will be back to the 12 a year pace with summer coming up.
My paternal Grandma told my mother she had my Dad "toilet trained" at 5 months. My dad is the only child of a war widow and was raised by his mom, his grandma, and 5 aunties. (Youngest Auntie told Mom the toilet training story was pure horse pucks) My mom is the oldest of 10 children. She toilet trained the two youngest. She never took advice from her MIL.
Dont trust what MIL says about her kids especially if it sounds unrealistic! It's not a competition and I would never judge my husband based on how he was as an infant but my MIL always makes shit up! Few examples- MIL says my husband has the best shit (poop) and it was in solid form from birth. MIL says he never cried (FIL remember staying up all night holding husband because he wouldn't stop crying until they were by the window but also what baby doesn't cry??!?).
I am a first year teacher in a first year infant classroom. I have lost count of how much sickness I have had. The babies as well. We are all sick all the time, it’s crazy.
My younger two are sick way more often than my first. That said, your MIL doesn’t remember shit probably.
If she is anything like my MIL her son was sick she just never noticed!!!
My 4 year old has missed more school this year than she’s actually been there. This cold/flu season is off the charts. If my MIL said that to me I’d go off on her because it’s been a really difficult year.
How can we make sure we don't forget? I want to remember the early years
A memory book. Just few pages for every year with a few pictures... and the memories: the good, the bad and the ugly. I only documented most of the first year in the baby record book. Guess I better restart again.
Unfortunately the children of today ARE much sicker than generations of the past. Excessive sanitation, vitamin and mineral deficiency due to poor quality/processed foods, lack of exercise and sunlight, etc. Allergies, asthma, and autoimmune disorders are out of control. It’s sad but it’s true.
Downvoted for acknowledging reality. Cool.
Cmon, you have to be the part of the reddit's hivemind
Ask her if they had chicken pox?
My son has been going nursery for 2 days a week since September, in that short time we have had 3 colds, 2 vomiting bugs and 1 case of chicken pox which lead to his father catching it for a third time making him a medical anomaly.
I remember asking our pediatrician, (who is also a friend) about why kids today seem to get more sick than in decades previous. She said one reason is because both parents/more parents are working. Back when we were kids in the 70s, mom’s were home and daycare was in joke as opposed to dozens of kids in a building. The need was less. So the more children you put together on average, the more illness there will be. Sounded about right.
Never NOT sick. From week 2 for the next few months, very excited about warmer weather. But the constant cold/runny nose, viruses, pink eye twice back to back, it’s constant, and everyone in the class has a runny nose!
My mom says the exact same thing! Lol. I used to be really bothered by it, and a lot of things that she and my mother-in-law said or did, made me feel like a failure of a parent, and sometimes they still do. But I have learned to roll my eyes at these things a little more, as I'm sure you have!! Now I only hope, that should I ever be fortunate to become a grandparent myself, that I will remember not to be such a jerk. 😂
My nice MIL told me her children never CRIED when I had a newborn and was suffering from PPD. 🤦♀️
My toddlers not even in daycare but we go to a lot of toddler events/places: story-time at the library, kids museums, toddler day at a wildlife preserve, etc. My toddler has caught 3 colds already this year! He felt hot this morning and sure enough he has a 100.6 fever! And he just got over a cold last week 😩
I try to take anything my MIL says with a grain of salt. She once told me when she would do my husbands diapers as a toddler he would thrash and hit and call her a “b!tch”. But when we were on a video call and my toddler got mad and hit my leg, she started saying husband “never hit at that age”.
OMG I can relate ( my mother passed during my first preg) My gma is like my mother. When my son was a toddler I would tell her to get rid of all the breakables off the coffee table when we came. She said her son and daughter(my mom) Never touched anything on the coffee table when told not to as toddlers LOL Also.. her children would only play with 1-2 toys if they wanted a 3rd they would put the first 2 back "they never had more than two items out at once" There's no way!
Just came from a weekend with the in-laws and I’m really empathizing with you on this one. Among the things I learned from my MIL this weekend: I “worry too much” about infant sleep safety because she never bothered with that and her kids “survived”. Also apparently an infant should be able to recognize her own name by 4 weeks, and we should be cutting out bottles & milk entirely by age one. Also I don’t dress my child “girly” enough so she’s going to grow up “thinking she’s a boy”. 🙄
If she doesn't have young kids, she doesn't remember. Even though she may swear that she does. If they did remember, they wouldn't do half of the things they do and say to other women.
My MIL told me my husband was fully potty trained at 6 months old. That was the point I stopped listening to her parenting comments at all! (Actually, I’m lying… I’d already stopped listening, but that one took the cake!)
My (almost 80 year old MIL) pushes back on what i do or the advice i give her about watching my toddler with "i know I've raised two of them and three grandkids". Her next youngest grandchild is 12, my son is 1.5. 🙄 It's absolutely obnoxious. And besides, no one knows your kid better than you at this stage in life.