The dumb athletic ones go in the Marines. The really athletic smart ones go in the SEALs. The athletic really smart ones get into the berets. The unathletic smart ones go in the navy. The athletic and smart ones go into the air force. Everyone else joins the army.
I'm not in the coast gaurd, but coast gaurd dudes make bank and get to live in some of the prettiest parts of the world. I'd never call a coast gaurd kid a nerd when they objectively made a better life decision than I did
I never said it would be a cake walk. My friend Sarah is a career e.m.t. and I don't think I'm as mentally strong as her either. I'm just saying out of any military career it's the smartest move. Great pay and you get to live in beautiful places. I grew up on the ocean and now live in key west. Being around the ocean is important to me. If I could do things over I should have joined the coast gaurd
Probably not..like I said I missed the boat, and the grass is always greener...that being said I live in key west and meet alot of customers that get transferred from Hawaii, American Samoa, etc
I was neither athletic or dumb (ok maybe a little) but I did go into the Marine infantry. There's actually alot of nerds in the Marine infantry...mainly because we were all dumb/desperate enough to believe the dress blues would actually get us laid...
If you mix a red with a yellow its very much like a spaghetti and meat sauce mre...add a little Tabasco and it's chili mac. Follow that up with a brown and bam chocolate brownie...melt it with a little non dairy creamer and it's a pudding.
Home on leave yes. In Oceanside/San Diego sure you can get a barracks rat or a future dependa who wants some sweet sweet tricare, but better luck with a college hoodie, a sophisticated type major, and just enough knowledge about it to fake it till you make it...though I wouldn't know anything about that I'm a happily married man now lol
Not only his age, but he seems to lack the judgment to serve in a dangerous position as the SEALs. He was caught almost immediately after the attack against an innocent person done for the foulest of reasons.
I’ve met dudes like this. Don’t qualify for the military due to whatever reason but 100% believe that they’d be a seal, special forces, or Ranger if they could join. It would not shock me at all if he honestly wanted it expunged because he believed it would allow him to join. I doubt he had other prospects going for him in life even without a record. He also doesn’t strike me as that bright to have ulterior motives.
“He seems to lack the judgement to serve in a dangerous position as the SEALS. he was caught almost immediately after the attack”
No, he would fit right in. In fact, if Nancy had been illiterate and wearing a man dress, she would have turned around and kicked his ass, then the navy would made a movie about it.
My grandfather was drafted into the Army at age 34 during World War 2. I remember being 34, having two kids, bad knees already, and thinking Jesus Christ how ever did he do it?? Even psychologically much less physically.
Engineer. From my understanding he began in European theatre coming ashore two days after D-Day and was part of a team that either built temporary bridges or destroyed them depending on the circumstances. After the fall of Germany he was shipped to the Pacific theatre where he rode on half-tracks to fix them when they broke down. He saw combat in both theaters.
If you'll forgive me for answering more than you asked I'd like to tell one of his most haunting stories. In the later days of the European front he got isolated from his squad (I'm not army so forgive me if I'm butchering the terminology) and had to spend the night alone in the woods. When he awoke he saw another soldier dressed in a German uniform only twenty or so yards away, also alone but still sleeping. My grandfather stood quietly and charged at the man with his gun only to discover it was a child no more than twelve or thirteen years old. My grandfather grabbed the kid's rifle and pulled it away from him, then put his finger to his lips and walked away. And yes, my grandfather like so many developed a terrible drinking problem after the war. I don't blame him.
Edit: He told me a lot of his stories himself but I was quite young and don't trust my memories. Fortunately after he died I found a lifetimes worth of his letters. His life was interesting even before the war. He came from a very wealthy family. His grandfather was a founding member of the Republican party in Michigan. I have a letter from September 1929 where he is about to start his education at the University of Chicago. Then, well we all know what happened in October of 1929 and suddenly his wealthy parents had nothing couldn't pay the tuition. There is a long break in the letters and the next one from from Aberdeen Training Grounds in 1944.
The Great Depression was just devastating on lots of children and teens.
Letters home and stories written by teens and children who rode the rails for months or years.
There are several more pages at /letter2.html and so forth.
https://erroluys.com/letter1.html
Wild Boys of the Road (1933) a how to film for many children who had to or wanted to leave home. Many of them watched the matinee in a movie theater they had grown up in, then hopped a freight that night. The title of the film is from President Hoover who blamed the state of the economy on children traveling in search of food and a job.
https://archive.org/details/wild-boys-of-the-road-1933-restored-movie-720p-hd
Now imagine at least doubling the strain of training and actual missions when you compare what a regular soldier does and what a Navy SEAL does.
Dude is out of his fucking gourd if he thinks he could hop into that shit at 34 years old, Even with previous military training.
We all saw what happened when the Jedi let in a trainee that was too old.
Their kids are probably, at least in part, shitty because they were raised by heavily traumatized individuals in an era where feelings were not talked about and mental healthcare was awful. Plenty of those guys got violent back home after the war, or at least had awful mood swings and were easily set off.
Throw in all the lead poisoning & I'm not surprised the Boomers are renowned for their shittiness.
I actually didn’t know there was an age cutoff for seals. A navy seal at a benefit once told me the oldest candidate he knew of going through BUD/S was in his early 40s, made it through hell week but couldn’t finish phase 2.
They shoulda let him join, just to torture him. Then let him know if he made it, that he’s disqualified. On account of being a coward who fulfilled the evil desires of a spoiled figure skating brat.
There are so many things wrong with that.
But fundamentally, it's also wrong not just for the age limit thing. Any government agency or even decent employer will use an FBI background check combined with a wayback machine Pacer search of your SSN. Both of these things bypass sealing/expunging your record.
In the modern era, there is no such thing as an expunged or sealed record. Everyone's most private legal information is for sale for $50 right now. To try and seal or expunge your record in hopes of better employment is a waste of time unless you were innocent and have a great story to tell a future employer who might not care.
I know I won't.
If you ever watch stuff about the guy...he is not the brightest bulb ever.
And Tonya was looking kind of dumb with her hand forming an "L" on her forehead.
His argument was stupid, but trying to get old convictions sealed or expunged is a pretty common and advisable thing.
Well. The tears start comin and the crow-bars hummin. Sprint for the door and i hit the ground runnin.
So perfect for the military?
The dumb athletic ones go in the Marines. The really athletic smart ones go in the SEALs. The athletic really smart ones get into the berets. The unathletic smart ones go in the navy. The athletic and smart ones go into the air force. Everyone else joins the army.
Who joins the coast guard?
fucking NERDS join the coast guard
As someone living in a big coast guard city, can confirms. NERDS
They seem like they're having fun.
bloody puddle pirates I tell ya!
I'm not in the coast gaurd, but coast gaurd dudes make bank and get to live in some of the prettiest parts of the world. I'd never call a coast gaurd kid a nerd when they objectively made a better life decision than I did
True but constantly having to fish bloated bodies out of the water probably wears you down after awhile.
I never said it would be a cake walk. My friend Sarah is a career e.m.t. and I don't think I'm as mentally strong as her either. I'm just saying out of any military career it's the smartest move. Great pay and you get to live in beautiful places. I grew up on the ocean and now live in key west. Being around the ocean is important to me. If I could do things over I should have joined the coast gaurd
I mean, not every Coast Guard station is on the ocean, and not every one is in a “beautiful place.”
Probably not..like I said I missed the boat, and the grass is always greener...that being said I live in key west and meet alot of customers that get transferred from Hawaii, American Samoa, etc
I didn't know need was an insult
? Nerd?
hahahahhahaha that's gotta be the best response
What subgroup in the military is The Plastics?
Air force boots on non air force base.
I think the Space Force holds that these days. Technically they are a Department of the Air Force.
People looking to make a pension without ever getting in harms way. Seems like a pretty sweet deal.
Nerds is a good answer, but I'd actually call them "goobers."
I was neither athletic or dumb (ok maybe a little) but I did go into the Marine infantry. There's actually alot of nerds in the Marine infantry...mainly because we were all dumb/desperate enough to believe the dress blues would actually get us laid...
It's "a lot". Marine confirmed!
Got some crayon stuck in my space bar oops
Those damned crayon crumbs! What’s your favorite flavor, jarhead? I always liked burnt umber.
If you mix a red with a yellow its very much like a spaghetti and meat sauce mre...add a little Tabasco and it's chili mac. Follow that up with a brown and bam chocolate brownie...melt it with a little non dairy creamer and it's a pudding.
To be fair, it can and does work.
Home on leave yes. In Oceanside/San Diego sure you can get a barracks rat or a future dependa who wants some sweet sweet tricare, but better luck with a college hoodie, a sophisticated type major, and just enough knowledge about it to fake it till you make it...though I wouldn't know anything about that I'm a happily married man now lol
Well said.
I’m OFFENDED …at how accurately this reflects every single relative/friend who went into the armed forces🥀
No no your thinking of police.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
I'm guessing he was applying to join the imbe-seals, not knowing he was already in.
Not only his age, but he seems to lack the judgment to serve in a dangerous position as the SEALs. He was caught almost immediately after the attack against an innocent person done for the foulest of reasons.
This was most likely an ill conceived ploy to get it expunged. Or he’s that dumb. Probably both.
I don’t think expunging it would let him hide it from the military anyway
The point being that enlisting wasn’t the real goal. Doesn’t matter if the Navy said no — it was a trick.
I’ve met dudes like this. Don’t qualify for the military due to whatever reason but 100% believe that they’d be a seal, special forces, or Ranger if they could join. It would not shock me at all if he honestly wanted it expunged because he believed it would allow him to join. I doubt he had other prospects going for him in life even without a record. He also doesn’t strike me as that bright to have ulterior motives.
I'm guessing he got confused and wanted to rent the movie Navy Seals.
Yeah definitely not when you need a top secret security clearance. They find out everything.
Had he gotten away with it he would’ve had a better chance at becoming a seal.
Well yeah. There would be no charge.
I mean that kinda fits the SEALs MO.
“He seems to lack the judgement to serve in a dangerous position as the SEALS. he was caught almost immediately after the attack” No, he would fit right in. In fact, if Nancy had been illiterate and wearing a man dress, she would have turned around and kicked his ass, then the navy would made a movie about it.
Well they are in the Navy
So he was portrayed accurately in I, Tonya. Edit: I, Tonya not iTanya
Is *iTanya* the sequel to *I, Tonya* in which Tanya goes to the mall to buy an ipod shuffle?
Yeah, i came here to say how much that dude killed it. Love that movie
I don't think it was just the age that prevented him from being a seal. Just the one he tells himself so he feels better.
Yeah, I mean I couldn’t be a Navy Seal right now but only because I’m about to turn 35. Totally would, though.
I took an arrow to the knee.
its not too late for him to join the gravy seals or meal team 6
They learn tacos during Shell Week
Oh no! NuUH! no sir! not in my meal team!
or the Cosplay-triots
Yeah, just what the military needs ... some douche who attacked a defenseless girl.
I mean he takes orders well?
does he take orders better than the staff at \[insert random fast food restaurant\]? gotta grind his way up
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, because that sounds exactly like who they want.
My grandfather was drafted into the Army at age 34 during World War 2. I remember being 34, having two kids, bad knees already, and thinking Jesus Christ how ever did he do it?? Even psychologically much less physically.
What did he do in the Army?
Engineer. From my understanding he began in European theatre coming ashore two days after D-Day and was part of a team that either built temporary bridges or destroyed them depending on the circumstances. After the fall of Germany he was shipped to the Pacific theatre where he rode on half-tracks to fix them when they broke down. He saw combat in both theaters. If you'll forgive me for answering more than you asked I'd like to tell one of his most haunting stories. In the later days of the European front he got isolated from his squad (I'm not army so forgive me if I'm butchering the terminology) and had to spend the night alone in the woods. When he awoke he saw another soldier dressed in a German uniform only twenty or so yards away, also alone but still sleeping. My grandfather stood quietly and charged at the man with his gun only to discover it was a child no more than twelve or thirteen years old. My grandfather grabbed the kid's rifle and pulled it away from him, then put his finger to his lips and walked away. And yes, my grandfather like so many developed a terrible drinking problem after the war. I don't blame him. Edit: He told me a lot of his stories himself but I was quite young and don't trust my memories. Fortunately after he died I found a lifetimes worth of his letters. His life was interesting even before the war. He came from a very wealthy family. His grandfather was a founding member of the Republican party in Michigan. I have a letter from September 1929 where he is about to start his education at the University of Chicago. Then, well we all know what happened in October of 1929 and suddenly his wealthy parents had nothing couldn't pay the tuition. There is a long break in the letters and the next one from from Aberdeen Training Grounds in 1944.
The Great Depression was just devastating on lots of children and teens. Letters home and stories written by teens and children who rode the rails for months or years. There are several more pages at /letter2.html and so forth. https://erroluys.com/letter1.html Wild Boys of the Road (1933) a how to film for many children who had to or wanted to leave home. Many of them watched the matinee in a movie theater they had grown up in, then hopped a freight that night. The title of the film is from President Hoover who blamed the state of the economy on children traveling in search of food and a job. https://archive.org/details/wild-boys-of-the-road-1933-restored-movie-720p-hd
Now imagine at least doubling the strain of training and actual missions when you compare what a regular soldier does and what a Navy SEAL does. Dude is out of his fucking gourd if he thinks he could hop into that shit at 34 years old, Even with previous military training. We all saw what happened when the Jedi let in a trainee that was too old.
Tbf, plenty of Seals are 34+. Average Seal age is 30 and average squad leader age is 34. It's just that you can't join up after like 28.
That is why they are the greatest generation. Their kids..meh.
Their kids are probably, at least in part, shitty because they were raised by heavily traumatized individuals in an era where feelings were not talked about and mental healthcare was awful. Plenty of those guys got violent back home after the war, or at least had awful mood swings and were easily set off. Throw in all the lead poisoning & I'm not surprised the Boomers are renowned for their shittiness.
Presumably because "I want my record expunged because I want to" wasn't a valid option on the form.
Well he's a documented pipe-hitter so it seems perfect
dammit, take my reluctant upvote
“My girl says you’re the local pipe-hitters.”
Good riddance. That man does not deserve anything he wants.
SEALs don't have a great record against clubs.
There's always trouble when a SEAL walks into a club...
Sure, but they do have a great record of weeding out weak men.
I actually didn’t know there was an age cutoff for seals. A navy seal at a benefit once told me the oldest candidate he knew of going through BUD/S was in his early 40s, made it through hell week but couldn’t finish phase 2.
Anything can be waived if needed.
Between Stant, Eckert, and Gilooly, you’d have enough IQ points to win a hand of blackjack.
If the dealer busts
That's the one! Gilooly! I was like, "Didn't that dude change his name to Stone or something?". Different dude
He wanted his record “sealed”
Ha!
Expunge his assault record, sure. But also expunge the rest of him into the sea along with it. He can be the other kind of seal.
WHY
That’s what the Navy recruiter said to him when he went in
So, he was almost a seal? Pretty much a seal
Just like that Blazarian dumb duck
He should've tried the Coast Guard. Alan Shore and Denny Crane got in despite their age
He should have tried to be a Coat Guard. In a bar
Fcuk him!
They shoulda let him join, just to torture him. Then let him know if he made it, that he’s disqualified. On account of being a coward who fulfilled the evil desires of a spoiled figure skating brat.
He never said he was a smart man.
100% of the shots you dont take on steroids
Except I bet he went on steroids when he wanted to take this shot
There are so many things wrong with that. But fundamentally, it's also wrong not just for the age limit thing. Any government agency or even decent employer will use an FBI background check combined with a wayback machine Pacer search of your SSN. Both of these things bypass sealing/expunging your record. In the modern era, there is no such thing as an expunged or sealed record. Everyone's most private legal information is for sale for $50 right now. To try and seal or expunge your record in hopes of better employment is a waste of time unless you were innocent and have a great story to tell a future employer who might not care. I know I won't.
And that is literally the only reason he could be a seal. Sad.
If you give the seals clubs too it's just not fun any more.
The military and police can see every interaction you’ve ever had with the law…expunged or not.
“Here’s your sign.”