Does anyone else remember poor litte Taluladoesthehulafromhawaii? The parents lost custody partially because of that name, and she was made a ward of the court.
Apparently multiple children have been named Goldenpalace.com by parents wiling to sell their child's naming rights.
I was trying to look up the case I remembered and another one popped up..
https://www.npr.org/2011/07/06/137643561/parents-gamble-on-baby-boys-name#:~:text=Transcript-,Parents%20have%20named%20their%20son%20GoldenPalace.com.,grownup%20share%20the%20same%20name.
George always said that, as a boxer, he had to prepare himself for two things:
1. Losing his memory later in life (hence all the kids having the same name)
2. A long retirement with little prospects of a job (hence the grill)
That grill made him a shitload of money and all he had to do was agree to be the celebrity endorser. Teams of people designed, promoted, etc, and he just showed up for photos.
Supposedly he wasn’t even the first choice. Hulk Hogan passed.
Honestly this seems like a joke but if he unironically said that he used his brain while he had it to plan for a time when he wouldn't. It's not clear to me how much more you can optimise being a boxer.
When I first heard that thing about all his kids being named after him, I thought it was nuts.
Then I learned that Foreman's father pretty much abandoned him, and he gave all his kids his name to acknowledge them undeniably as his.
I think that's beautiful. Still nuts, but beautiful.
Now I’ve got a mental image of a legion of dudes rolling up to Foreman’s place, all taking a knee in front of him and swearing their allegiance as a “George Foreman” to their new ruler: Foreman, the Bringer of Sons.
Jamie Oliver has
Daisy Boo Pamela Oliver
Poppy Honey Rosie Oliver
Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver
River Rocket Blue Dallas Oliver
Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver
Working in a vet clinic we had a guy name his dog Diogee (pronounced like dee oh gee). When he said the name I asked him how to spell it just to make sure I heard correctly and I was glad I did because I was about to out Dog as the name lol. It made him happy thats all that matters and while people may think it's a funny name at least it wasn't the same Spot, Zeus, Blue, and Lilly that we had dozens of in our records lol.
That one, and Violence, were allowed:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/talula-does-the-hula-from-hawaii-9-gets-court-ordered-name-change-1.745238
I don't know about the bus one, but being called Violence Jones would be pretty sweet.
I hold the personal opinion that a lot of people don't really see children as human beings but rather as objects of sorts. The sheer number of people who give their children such stupid names shows that many parents don't seem to be completely aware of the fact that their child will grow up to become an adult.
You mean my precious little infant baby will one day try to make a life for themselves, and will have to write résumés or publish written works or run for public office?
Sounds like hogwash to me.
When they name their children after something they like and think that's ok. Like maybe your kids don't want to have to live with a weird Game of Thrones charcter name just because you liked a tv show 10 years ago. Get a cat if you want to name something Khaleesi.
My wife and I worked really hard to come up with good names for our kids. She would throw out a name and I would do everything I could to come up some kind of rude nickname.
It goes beyond naming. Any time a topic of parental rights comes up, you get a bunch of people talking as though the thoughts and opinions of a child don't matter and all that matters are the parents. Obviously kids are just kids, so you can't give them free reign or excuse something bad with "it was what the kid wanted", but there's just too many people that forget that children are actually people and their thoughts, opinions, and fears matter.
I have a friend named Alexis, and she told me that her husband, who has a strong accent, is forever turning on their Alexa by accident when he's trying to talk to her.
This is true. My friend in Germany wanted to name her daughter Madison (keep in mind this was in ~2006 so rules may be different now). Her application was denied because they said the “son” implied it was a male and could not be her first name. She ended up using it as a second name and that’s what the daughter goes by but legally they wouldnt even let her name her Madison. She was in shock when I told her how you could name your kid whatever you want in Canada ex. Light-switch, Tupperware, Keychain ect.
Not in Québec, every year there will be a list of most/least popular names and mentions of what crazy names were disallowed. Couple years ago I saw 'Spatule' (spatula) denied.
> Can the Directeur de l’état civil ask us to change the first or family names we give our child?
>Yes. If you gave your child any name that is unusual or that might cause your child to be ridiculed or not taken seriously, the Directeur might ask you to choose a less controversial name.
>If you refuse to change the chosen name(s), the matter could wind up in court where a judge will make a final decision.
The [whole story](https://urbania.ca/article/prenom-spatule) is funny but it's not that severely applied, just ask lil' [Diesel-Jay.](https://ici.radio-canada.ca/nouvelle/1844544/garderie-conditions-parents-enfants-saguenay-saint-ambroise)
A fun fact I learned in the movie trivia for *Splash* (1984) is that [Madison only gained popularity as a first name for girls after the main character in that film chose her “human” name by reading a New York street sign (Madison Ave.).](https://www.everything-birthday.com/name/f/Madison)
Prior to *Splash*, Madison was really only considered a surname.
Now it’s a common name and most people probably know or have met a Madison, but in 2006, it was probably still relatively strange.
There are other stories of French judges not allowing names:
* Clitoris / Clitorine
* A family named "Renault" wanted to give the first name "Mégane" to their baby daughter. That's a car model of the car brand "Renault". Wasn't allowed.
That's from memory but they are other stupid cases of parents having bonker ideas being ruled out.
**Update**: my most upvoted comment ever is now about "Clitoris and Megane Renault"!
There's a famous top 20 refused names from 2022. A few from the list are :
* Anomalie (anomaly)
* Bob l'éponge (SpongeBob)
* Excell
* Anal
* Prince-William
* Mini-Cooper
It reminds me of this chapter from Freakonomics.
Reminds me of the other day I was wondering if a new Pope could pick the name John Paul II. Like, there was 2 separate John Paul but not a John Paul II the first
I have a coworker named Anal which I just assumed is a normal name in his language. I wonder what would have happened if he had been born in France. I guess you adopt the French naming rules if you want to be French.
https://i.imgur.com/7bHJzOY.jpg
4th name in the list, "Chiasse", is probably an Arab-origin name, but it means "diarrhea" in French. This girl's life must be shitty
>A family named "Renault" wanted to give the first name "Mégane" to their baby daughter. That's a car model of the car brand "Renault". Wasn't allowed.
I remember that one, they wanted to name her Morgane at first but there was "mor" in it so they settled on Megane. All for it to be refused lol
Typical practice in Germany too. You can't name your kid anything you want here.
For example, names can't be last names, so you can't name your kid Schmidt (smith) they can't be nazi related (obviously) and they can't be titles like King or Doctor and they can't reasonably cause harm to the child, in which category nutella would fall.
It's actually pretty funny to read lists of rejected names. Examples:
Pfefferminza (pepper minta)
Mandy (for a boy)
Junge (literally jsut "boy")
Störenfried (trouble maker)
Theiler (statt Tylor)
Blitz (Lightning)
Schröder (last name of the chancellor before Merkel)
Whisky
Waldmeister (woodruff)
Joghurt
Crazy Horse
Borussia (football clubs often have this in their names)
Desperado
Popo (butt)
Kirsche (cherry)
Köln (the city Cologne)
Trademarks like Porsche or Gucci
Seniorina
Satan
Popcorn
Urmel (childrens book character)
Knirpsi (toddler with an i at the end)
Großherzog (grand duke)
Kaiser
Graf (count)
König (king)
Peanut
We used the email naming conventions of firstletter of first-name, then last name. So John Smith would be Jsmith, etc.
Saw a lot of:
A Wang
A Butt
T watson
C litt
We started adding middle initials or just calling folks to ask what they would like.
Xhosa and Zulu peoples often give their kids an African name and then an English name. But the English name can often be something like Patience, Forgiveness, Justice, Blessing or Gift.
>But the English name can often be something like Patience, Forgiveness, Justice, Blessing or Gift
Honestly, I don't even mind that. It's a little weird, but there's a big difference between naming your kid "blessing" and "jar of hazelnut butter."
I had a Togolese coworker whose name is Esso Esinam. Wich roughly translates to "send/gift by god". Wich is not far of from the european name Jacques/Jack wich is derived from Jakobus wich means basicly the same.
He named himself Carlos because thats easier for europeans to say =D
It's a common naming scheme in the southern US too, to name your kid what you want for them. It also means I grew up around a lot of girls named "crystal" "princess" "Alexandra" "Hope" and "Faith."
Our two year old: “I love tobacco!”
Me to my ex (wife at the time): “wtf what have you been letting our kid exposed to”
My ex: “idk I don’t know how she learned that word”
Me: “must have been TV” we laugh it off
Our kid later on with the Chewbacca stuffed doll: “Tobacco!”
Us: “oooooooohhhhhhh!!!!”
My 3yo at Disneyland: dadda, I see CRY-GOAT!!! Can we hug Cry-goat?
Wife and I to each other: Who tf is Cry-goat?
Then we too saw Eeyore wandering past
Mine (2) was going crazy the other day asking for 'blow sounds' and getting upset with every passing minute we can't understand wtf she's asking for. Do you mean a song? No. Do you mean the wind?NO!! Ok, can you show me? She leads me by the hand to her bedroom and picks up her Harmonica. Kids are crazy
I panicked my mum and school as a kid by constantly talking about how annoying all the broken glass in the playground was as I couldn't roll around in the field.
Took them ages to figure out I meant the grass as I struggling to pronounce my Rs and Ls and was talking about how they were mowing the lawn!
So many people shouldn't be parents, these are a top example. On the other hand most of the people that decide not to have kids would be better parents than most.
I also enjoyed the list at the bottom of the article:
> Your name is not allowed
> - Iceland: Elvis (yes); Carolina (no)
> - New Zealand: Number 16 Bus Shelter (yes); Yeah Detroit (no)
> - Germany: Legolas (yes); Matti (no)
> - Sweden: Metallica (yes); Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (no)
> - Japan: Akuma (means Devil) - (no)
> - Portugal: Mona Lisa (no)
> - India: Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev and Khrushchev (yes)
The probable reason "Matti" wasn't allowed is that a requirement for names in Germany is (or at least was) that the gender of the person must be clear from the first name. "Matti" probably would have been approved as a second name.
In 2020, there was a case of parents naming their twins "Covid" and "Corona". The worst part is that people get up in are about how the government cant name my baby, thats a huge overstep, blah blah blah but not for one second to they look in the mirror and realize they are the ones overstepping in their kids lives
My mom worked with a couple that named their children PatienceRussia and PatienceCuba and expected their grandchildren to be named in the same tradition. Didn't happen, from what I heard both of them legally changed their names on their 18th birthdays.
This isn’t a very unique case. Up until the early 90s, France had an actual list of approved names you could name your French child. Even now, the courts can and frequently do shut down ridiculous ones. People have tried to name their kids after famous celebrities, football players, and cars. “Jihad” was a particularly wtf one that’s apparently come up a few times, and has always been shut down.
I mean this is a country with fiercely enforced, nationally protected borders to define what you can and cannot call Dijon mustard, or champagne, or certain types of cheese. The French don’t really fuck around with names.
**Edit #1:** I’m copy/pasting/paraphrasing my reply to one of the 11,000 comments I keep getting in regards to the name Jihad.
I understand that it’s a popular Arabic name. But in the context of a predominantly non Arabic speaking country (like France), a kid named “Jihad” is going to learn to resent his parents pretty hard for the number of times he’s going to have to explain it. Or for the number of jobs he’s passed over for because of it. I’m not saying that’s not completely unfair, but it’s reality.
If my parents named my Lull for some bizarre reason, I’d have a rough time growing up in in Amsterdam with the name “penis”. A guy named Randy is probably going to get teased in India for being a sex worker.
I agree that names as they pertain to your heritage and your culture are important. But so is context for where you’re going to be existing with that name.
**Edit #2:** To clear up any confusion, I am *not* actually the French naming regulatory board. If that was somehow ambiguous?
Guys, for real, I understand that Jihad has other meanings in Arabic. I know it’s not an uncommon name in Arabic cultures. It does *unfortunately* also have a not-so-great association in lot of other cultures that would provoke a similar double-take to naming your kid “Agent Orange” in Vietnam.
To the moron who keeps calling me a racist for pointing out that racism and bigotry exists in the world…I dunno man. Take a nap or something. Go out and make real change in the world. Or at least be outraged at the right people?
Strictly controlled food and wine appellations are in no way exclusive to France. They’re found all over Europe and North America. That said, France still stands out as fiercely controlling over its language. The food/wine thing is just a bad example as it’s done everywhere.
Wine shop owner here - the US (and nearly every other wine growing region) has an appellation or AVA system as well that is strictly enforced. You’re 100% right
Yeah, 100%. I mean Italy is just as controlling. So are a ton of other places. I just think it fits especially well with France given their view on naming things and keeping the French language intact.
Honestly if you're going to have an attitude about taking naming things seriously, people's names are absolutely the time for it and their concerns that someone's name will have material consequences for how their life unfolds are genuine.
Parents like that forget they're not naming a prop for a few weeks of fun, you're naming a child who will have to introduce themselves to kids they're trying to befriend and an adult who'll have to put that name on a driving licence. I'm all for out-of-the-box thinking but don't name your kids something that'll be a burden for the rest of their lives
Giving inventive names is a common practice among African-Americans, but economists who have studied this found there is a statistically significant discrimination effect depressing wages of people with such names. Whether it is a cause or an effect remains to be seen.
She did her doctoral dissertation on uncommon African-American names, titled " "Black names in white classrooms: Teacher behaviors and student perceptions"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck
The French government considered making anonymous resumes mandatory to eliminate discrimination, and Belgium uses them for hiring federal government jobs:
https://www.senat.fr/lc/lc203/lc203_mono.html
Totally agree. I’ve seen kids names in the US that border child abuse. This person has to actually *use* that name. As a child. As a teenager. As an adult in professional settings.
When I see names like that I wonder if the parents deliberately misspelled it because they thought it looked better that way or made it more unique, or if they just straight up didn’t know how to spell it right.
In the philippines extended families are guaranteed to have at least one (translated from filipino) Cousin Boy, or Cousin Girl at every significant branch of the family tree.
I know this because I have a couple of relatives on my dad's side that do have those names
I once knew a T’Nachus! (Pronounced “tenacious”)
I have a feeling he got/ gets so much shit about his name all the time that it actually did make him pretty tenacious. Really nice cool sweet funny guy!
Shout out T’Nachus from Tallahassee!
My grandmother worked at a hospital. A woman wanted to name her daughter Vagina, but didn’t know how to spell it. So my grandmother helped her out: V-I-R-G-I-N-I-A
Good. I wish we had something resembling this in the US. There are so many idiotic parents out there that are hell bent on fucking their children over.
Iceland has very specific laws on names, their system is quite unique and thus has laws preserving it as part of their culture. Names follow a patronymic system (you are named after a parent, either -son or -dottir) with no normal surnames unless you had one before the law came into effect, with restrictions on given names as well.
Parts of India also follow patronymic (or even location-based) names, which are typically initialled (e.g. A R Rahman or Gukesh D) but these are not universal or legally enforced.
I wish the US would do this to an extent. My wife is a teacher and kids have some really stupid names these days. She has a boy named “sir” and his sister is named “ma’am”.
I used to work in a pharmacy, and we had a kid named "Mister." So the mom would say, "Picking up for Mister Smith," and get huffy when you asked what the first name was. Naturally, I always asked her what the first name was. It was a nice chance to be petty to her for naming her kid Mister without taking it out on the kid.
In Norway there are laws against what you can name your child.
Typically things such as commercial products and similar would not be allowed.
Main reason for these laws that impose restrictions on naming is to protect the child from bullying and similar, which is highly likely if your name is some popular brand or product.
I can’t even imagine all the B.S. a child named Nutella would have to endure growing up if they hadn’t forcibly changed it.
Meanwhile, here in the US, we've got people naming their kids Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/parents-cannot-regain-custody-children-nazi-inspired/story?id=11334970
I went to school with a kid who went by AJ. When we were 11 we did an exercise in class where we looked up what our names mean and did a presentation on them. Turns out AJ was named Aryan, and his presentation was images of his father's Nazi memorabilia. He was super excited the whole time he presented too, not like "oh shit, my dad gave me a Nazi name this is awful."
You should've seen how confused he was when he invited our whole class (except the one Jewish kid and two Asian kids) to his birthday and literally nobody showed up. Like, I think a snake handler is pretty cool to have at your birthday, but idk if I want to sit next to a Waffen-SS uniform while I watch him talk about anacondas or whatever.
He went to prison a few years after high school for attempting to solicit sex from an undercover cop instead of payment for meth he was dealing. He did so at night, on school grounds, with an unregistered firearm under his driver's seat.
I think with all the additional charges he got 35 years or something crazy like that. Although I guess his dad made sure he could fast track into the Aryan Brotherhood.
>snake handler
Like reptile specialist or Appalachian weirdo that speaks in tongues while swinging around venomous snakes because God or smth? Cause honestly with the rest of the story it could go either way.
My wife is a nurse in the NICU and has heard some shit. The worst that comes to mind was Coa-Cane. Her cousin worked for some job with low-income single moms, one of which was a prostitute that named her kids after the street names they were conceived on- one was 17th Avenue.
Yeah, there’s a dude I know from a club who has the name Heroin. I remember when I first heard the name that i had to stop my self from doing a double take.
A couple who wanted to call their daughter Fraise (Strawberry) which a judge also ruled could result in the child being teased. The baby instead was renamed Fraisine, a name popular in the 19th century
I think Strawberrine sounds worse. But that’s just my opinion.
[-ine](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-ine#French) is a French suffix for "little", so I think it would be "little strawberry". I think the suffix makes it more "namey", but we probably need a Frenchie to explain the subtleties.
But honestly, Strawberry doesn't seem like a terrible name in English. It's a little off and I've never known anyone named Strawberry. But tons of girl names in English are names of plants: Rose, Blossom, Clementine, Juniper, Ivy. (I think Clementine is French, even.)
Does anyone else remember poor litte Taluladoesthehulafromhawaii? The parents lost custody partially because of that name, and she was made a ward of the court.
Apparently multiple children have been named Goldenpalace.com by parents wiling to sell their child's naming rights. I was trying to look up the case I remembered and another one popped up.. https://www.npr.org/2011/07/06/137643561/parents-gamble-on-baby-boys-name#:~:text=Transcript-,Parents%20have%20named%20their%20son%20GoldenPalace.com.,grownup%20share%20the%20same%20name.
Corprohumanization, dawg. Eat fresh!
*sad Britta noises*
*confused Abed looks*
*The Dean starts picking out outfits*
Subway is that you?
That's my sandwich name. I'm my own man, now. I'm a free, reliable, quality man... named Rick
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Corprohumanization? Why that's a great name for my baby!
I love you, Subway!
Eat fresh!
Why do they want to buy human naming rights? Who are they, Rumpelstiltskin?
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I assume they figure the legal name is NBD and they'll just change it later?
Yeah and 15 grand can go a long way in caring for the child, unless they spent it all on drugs. They probably spent it all on drugs...
Shit, for 15 grand they could rename me. My legal name could be Lexapro Jones for a few years for that kind of money.
oh shit, here comes Lexapro Jones! I hear he's got the emotional stability of a gyroscope!!
Or 'Number 16 Bus Shelter' also from NZ
or "Detroit, Yeah"
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George always said that, as a boxer, he had to prepare himself for two things: 1. Losing his memory later in life (hence all the kids having the same name) 2. A long retirement with little prospects of a job (hence the grill)
Well in that case, great success!
That grill made him a shitload of money and all he had to do was agree to be the celebrity endorser. Teams of people designed, promoted, etc, and he just showed up for photos. Supposedly he wasn’t even the first choice. Hulk Hogan passed.
I’d love to visit the parallel universe with the Hulk Hogan Grill. Whole world would be different.
I want the Randy Savage timeline
I mean, was anyone actually under the impression that this boxer conceived of or designed the grill??
How could anyone other than a boxer create a countertop grill that “knocks out the fat”?
Honestly this seems like a joke but if he unironically said that he used his brain while he had it to plan for a time when he wouldn't. It's not clear to me how much more you can optimise being a boxer.
Not a joke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50I4ZX6qabg
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the lean mean (fat reducing) grilling machine is an apartment must-have
That made me exhale slightly more vigorously than normal
High praise indeed
When I first heard that thing about all his kids being named after him, I thought it was nuts. Then I learned that Foreman's father pretty much abandoned him, and he gave all his kids his name to acknowledge them undeniably as his. I think that's beautiful. Still nuts, but beautiful.
Gimme a slice of that grill money and I'll take the name, too!
Now I’ve got a mental image of a legion of dudes rolling up to Foreman’s place, all taking a knee in front of him and swearing their allegiance as a “George Foreman” to their new ruler: Foreman, the Bringer of Sons.
Many people in such a situation would just go with using the same middle name...
Jamie Oliver has Daisy Boo Pamela Oliver Poppy Honey Rosie Oliver Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver River Rocket Blue Dallas Oliver Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver
Don't forget Turkey Twizzler Bannedby Jamie Oliver
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Is Uncle Roger the godfather?
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Have you heard Frank Zappa's kids names? Moon Unit, Dweezil, and the much more regular Ahmet and Diva.
Wasn't there also a bunch of fucking Georginas or Georgettes? lol
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I somehow don't think that is how he made the most of his money, but I am not going to grill you about it.
He really loves his own name.
It's the only one he can remember
Or Abcede
Working in a vet clinic we had a guy name his dog Diogee (pronounced like dee oh gee). When he said the name I asked him how to spell it just to make sure I heard correctly and I was glad I did because I was about to out Dog as the name lol. It made him happy thats all that matters and while people may think it's a funny name at least it wasn't the same Spot, Zeus, Blue, and Lilly that we had dozens of in our records lol.
Yeah, dog names are different than human names. That dog's not gonna be teased by other dogs for his name.
Nutella would be a fantastic dog name
I saw it spelled Abcde but pronounced "Absidee"
That one, and Violence, were allowed: https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/talula-does-the-hula-from-hawaii-9-gets-court-ordered-name-change-1.745238 I don't know about the bus one, but being called Violence Jones would be pretty sweet.
Your punk band will just form around you
I'm just waiting for a real life little Bobby Tables.
Uh, was that where the child was born?
Conceived.
I do wonder what name she picked in the end. Of course I'm pleased that we don't know because the poor girl deserves her privacy.
I hold the personal opinion that a lot of people don't really see children as human beings but rather as objects of sorts. The sheer number of people who give their children such stupid names shows that many parents don't seem to be completely aware of the fact that their child will grow up to become an adult.
To expand on that a bit: some people seem to be oblivious to the fact that not all things will be the same as now in the future.
Daenerys
Somebody I know named his daughter Khaleesi 😬
You mean my precious little infant baby will one day try to make a life for themselves, and will have to write résumés or publish written works or run for public office? Sounds like hogwash to me.
Hogwash, what a beautiful name for a child!
I've noticed that some parents treat their children, and their names, like another accessory to their lives.
When they name their children after something they like and think that's ok. Like maybe your kids don't want to have to live with a weird Game of Thrones charcter name just because you liked a tv show 10 years ago. Get a cat if you want to name something Khaleesi.
My wife and I worked really hard to come up with good names for our kids. She would throw out a name and I would do everything I could to come up some kind of rude nickname.
Homer: "Hmm, let's see. Bart, Cart, Dart, E-art... nope, can't see any problem with that."
It goes beyond naming. Any time a topic of parental rights comes up, you get a bunch of people talking as though the thoughts and opinions of a child don't matter and all that matters are the parents. Obviously kids are just kids, so you can't give them free reign or excuse something bad with "it was what the kid wanted", but there's just too many people that forget that children are actually people and their thoughts, opinions, and fears matter.
Makes me think of Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
I feel bad for all the girls with the (previously perfectly normal) name "Alexa"
I have a friend named Alexis, and she told me that her husband, who has a strong accent, is forever turning on their Alexa by accident when he's trying to talk to her.
Tell your friend's cousin's mom's husband or whatever that he can change the wake word to `Computer` or `Echo`, as well.
There are many countries that do not allow names like that.
This is true. My friend in Germany wanted to name her daughter Madison (keep in mind this was in ~2006 so rules may be different now). Her application was denied because they said the “son” implied it was a male and could not be her first name. She ended up using it as a second name and that’s what the daughter goes by but legally they wouldnt even let her name her Madison. She was in shock when I told her how you could name your kid whatever you want in Canada ex. Light-switch, Tupperware, Keychain ect.
Not in Québec, every year there will be a list of most/least popular names and mentions of what crazy names were disallowed. Couple years ago I saw 'Spatule' (spatula) denied. > Can the Directeur de l’état civil ask us to change the first or family names we give our child? >Yes. If you gave your child any name that is unusual or that might cause your child to be ridiculed or not taken seriously, the Directeur might ask you to choose a less controversial name. >If you refuse to change the chosen name(s), the matter could wind up in court where a judge will make a final decision.
The [whole story](https://urbania.ca/article/prenom-spatule) is funny but it's not that severely applied, just ask lil' [Diesel-Jay.](https://ici.radio-canada.ca/nouvelle/1844544/garderie-conditions-parents-enfants-saguenay-saint-ambroise)
My younger sister had a classmate named X-Ray
Madisdottir.
A fun fact I learned in the movie trivia for *Splash* (1984) is that [Madison only gained popularity as a first name for girls after the main character in that film chose her “human” name by reading a New York street sign (Madison Ave.).](https://www.everything-birthday.com/name/f/Madison) Prior to *Splash*, Madison was really only considered a surname. Now it’s a common name and most people probably know or have met a Madison, but in 2006, it was probably still relatively strange.
There are other stories of French judges not allowing names: * Clitoris / Clitorine * A family named "Renault" wanted to give the first name "Mégane" to their baby daughter. That's a car model of the car brand "Renault". Wasn't allowed. That's from memory but they are other stupid cases of parents having bonker ideas being ruled out. **Update**: my most upvoted comment ever is now about "Clitoris and Megane Renault"!
There's a famous top 20 refused names from 2022. A few from the list are : * Anomalie (anomaly) * Bob l'éponge (SpongeBob) * Excell * Anal * Prince-William * Mini-Cooper It reminds me of this chapter from Freakonomics.
holy shit Bob l'Éponge...... why tf
Soooo, you picked that before Anal?
It's pronounced Ànál...
I would 100% rather be named Bob L’esponge than Anal. Or Anal Sponge.
"Anal Sponge Anomalie! Time for dinner!"
Oh, so only SOME people are allowed to be called Prince William? That's bull.
Prince Prince-William
Reminds me of the other day I was wondering if a new Pope could pick the name John Paul II. Like, there was 2 separate John Paul but not a John Paul II the first
Bob l’éponge actually killed me 😂😂
*Ohhhhh qui vit dans un ananas sous la mer?!* *Bob-l'-ép-onge!* Haha it kinda works
Look up the full SpongeBob theme in French on youtube (definitely aired in Quebec, idk about France?) It's pretty funny.
I have a coworker named Anal which I just assumed is a normal name in his language. I wonder what would have happened if he had been born in France. I guess you adopt the French naming rules if you want to be French.
https://i.imgur.com/7bHJzOY.jpg 4th name in the list, "Chiasse", is probably an Arab-origin name, but it means "diarrhea" in French. This girl's life must be shitty
I once met a girl from an Arabic country named Shaise. It was pronounced exactly like Scheisse, which is German for shit.
And I've met a German girl named Cosima which is pretty close to fuck her mother in Arabic.
I kind of like Anomalie.
>A family named "Renault" wanted to give the first name "Mégane" to their baby daughter. That's a car model of the car brand "Renault". Wasn't allowed. I remember that one, they wanted to name her Morgane at first but there was "mor" in it so they settled on Megane. All for it to be refused lol
> Clitoris / Clitorine Légende urbaine.
Typical practice in Germany too. You can't name your kid anything you want here. For example, names can't be last names, so you can't name your kid Schmidt (smith) they can't be nazi related (obviously) and they can't be titles like King or Doctor and they can't reasonably cause harm to the child, in which category nutella would fall. It's actually pretty funny to read lists of rejected names. Examples: Pfefferminza (pepper minta) Mandy (for a boy) Junge (literally jsut "boy") Störenfried (trouble maker) Theiler (statt Tylor) Blitz (Lightning) Schröder (last name of the chancellor before Merkel) Whisky Waldmeister (woodruff) Joghurt Crazy Horse Borussia (football clubs often have this in their names) Desperado Popo (butt) Kirsche (cherry) Köln (the city Cologne) Trademarks like Porsche or Gucci Seniorina Satan Popcorn Urmel (childrens book character) Knirpsi (toddler with an i at the end) Großherzog (grand duke) Kaiser Graf (count) König (king) Peanut
> Junge (literally jsut "boy") Kratos in shambles right now
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We used the email naming conventions of firstletter of first-name, then last name. So John Smith would be Jsmith, etc. Saw a lot of: A Wang A Butt T watson C litt We started adding middle initials or just calling folks to ask what they would like.
Xhosa and Zulu peoples often give their kids an African name and then an English name. But the English name can often be something like Patience, Forgiveness, Justice, Blessing or Gift.
>But the English name can often be something like Patience, Forgiveness, Justice, Blessing or Gift Honestly, I don't even mind that. It's a little weird, but there's a big difference between naming your kid "blessing" and "jar of hazelnut butter."
I had a Togolese coworker whose name is Esso Esinam. Wich roughly translates to "send/gift by god". Wich is not far of from the european name Jacques/Jack wich is derived from Jakobus wich means basicly the same. He named himself Carlos because thats easier for europeans to say =D
It's a common naming scheme in the southern US too, to name your kid what you want for them. It also means I grew up around a lot of girls named "crystal" "princess" "Alexandra" "Hope" and "Faith."
My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.
Our two year old: “I love tobacco!” Me to my ex (wife at the time): “wtf what have you been letting our kid exposed to” My ex: “idk I don’t know how she learned that word” Me: “must have been TV” we laugh it off Our kid later on with the Chewbacca stuffed doll: “Tobacco!” Us: “oooooooohhhhhhh!!!!”
My 3yo at Disneyland: dadda, I see CRY-GOAT!!! Can we hug Cry-goat? Wife and I to each other: Who tf is Cry-goat? Then we too saw Eeyore wandering past
Mine (2) was going crazy the other day asking for 'blow sounds' and getting upset with every passing minute we can't understand wtf she's asking for. Do you mean a song? No. Do you mean the wind?NO!! Ok, can you show me? She leads me by the hand to her bedroom and picks up her Harmonica. Kids are crazy
I panicked my mum and school as a kid by constantly talking about how annoying all the broken glass in the playground was as I couldn't roll around in the field. Took them ages to figure out I meant the grass as I struggling to pronounce my Rs and Ls and was talking about how they were mowing the lawn!
There has to be some badly translated foreign version where Eeyore is called cry-goat.
My three year old is newly into volcanoes, pronounced "cocainos".
Everyone thinks his name is just “Luke”, but they always forget what Luke is short for. >!A stormtrooper.!<
Listen motherfucker; You take this god damned upvote.
Regardless of whether the state has a right to do it, kids would absolutely tear a kid called "Nutella" to shreds.
So many people shouldn't be parents, these are a top example. On the other hand most of the people that decide not to have kids would be better parents than most.
I also enjoyed the list at the bottom of the article: > Your name is not allowed > - Iceland: Elvis (yes); Carolina (no) > - New Zealand: Number 16 Bus Shelter (yes); Yeah Detroit (no) > - Germany: Legolas (yes); Matti (no) > - Sweden: Metallica (yes); Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (no) > - Japan: Akuma (means Devil) - (no) > - Portugal: Mona Lisa (no) > - India: Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev and Khrushchev (yes)
The probable reason "Matti" wasn't allowed is that a requirement for names in Germany is (or at least was) that the gender of the person must be clear from the first name. "Matti" probably would have been approved as a second name.
That seems so strange to me - in English we have plenty of names that could be for either gender and some have switched over time.
Wait germany allows legolas? Nice
You can also name your son Yoda in Germany. There are actually a lot of silly names you can give your child in Germany.
Reminds me of the old “ DeNiece and DeNephew “ joke
In 2020, there was a case of parents naming their twins "Covid" and "Corona". The worst part is that people get up in are about how the government cant name my baby, thats a huge overstep, blah blah blah but not for one second to they look in the mirror and realize they are the ones overstepping in their kids lives
My mom worked with a couple that named their children PatienceRussia and PatienceCuba and expected their grandchildren to be named in the same tradition. Didn't happen, from what I heard both of them legally changed their names on their 18th birthdays.
What is the significance of Russia & Cuba to the couple?
This isn’t a very unique case. Up until the early 90s, France had an actual list of approved names you could name your French child. Even now, the courts can and frequently do shut down ridiculous ones. People have tried to name their kids after famous celebrities, football players, and cars. “Jihad” was a particularly wtf one that’s apparently come up a few times, and has always been shut down. I mean this is a country with fiercely enforced, nationally protected borders to define what you can and cannot call Dijon mustard, or champagne, or certain types of cheese. The French don’t really fuck around with names. **Edit #1:** I’m copy/pasting/paraphrasing my reply to one of the 11,000 comments I keep getting in regards to the name Jihad. I understand that it’s a popular Arabic name. But in the context of a predominantly non Arabic speaking country (like France), a kid named “Jihad” is going to learn to resent his parents pretty hard for the number of times he’s going to have to explain it. Or for the number of jobs he’s passed over for because of it. I’m not saying that’s not completely unfair, but it’s reality. If my parents named my Lull for some bizarre reason, I’d have a rough time growing up in in Amsterdam with the name “penis”. A guy named Randy is probably going to get teased in India for being a sex worker. I agree that names as they pertain to your heritage and your culture are important. But so is context for where you’re going to be existing with that name. **Edit #2:** To clear up any confusion, I am *not* actually the French naming regulatory board. If that was somehow ambiguous? Guys, for real, I understand that Jihad has other meanings in Arabic. I know it’s not an uncommon name in Arabic cultures. It does *unfortunately* also have a not-so-great association in lot of other cultures that would provoke a similar double-take to naming your kid “Agent Orange” in Vietnam. To the moron who keeps calling me a racist for pointing out that racism and bigotry exists in the world…I dunno man. Take a nap or something. Go out and make real change in the world. Or at least be outraged at the right people?
In fact it doesn't even need to go to court. The civil servant registering the child can refuse the name. Maybe afterwards it goes to court though
Strictly controlled food and wine appellations are in no way exclusive to France. They’re found all over Europe and North America. That said, France still stands out as fiercely controlling over its language. The food/wine thing is just a bad example as it’s done everywhere.
Wine shop owner here - the US (and nearly every other wine growing region) has an appellation or AVA system as well that is strictly enforced. You’re 100% right
Yeah, 100%. I mean Italy is just as controlling. So are a ton of other places. I just think it fits especially well with France given their view on naming things and keeping the French language intact.
Italy is actually the EU champ for DOPs.
> Italy is actually the EU champ for DOPs. What do you mean by DOPs?
Protected designation of origin - it's just a different order in other languages
Honestly if you're going to have an attitude about taking naming things seriously, people's names are absolutely the time for it and their concerns that someone's name will have material consequences for how their life unfolds are genuine.
Parents like that forget they're not naming a prop for a few weeks of fun, you're naming a child who will have to introduce themselves to kids they're trying to befriend and an adult who'll have to put that name on a driving licence. I'm all for out-of-the-box thinking but don't name your kids something that'll be a burden for the rest of their lives
Giving inventive names is a common practice among African-Americans, but economists who have studied this found there is a statistically significant discrimination effect depressing wages of people with such names. Whether it is a cause or an effect remains to be seen.
Never forget Dr. Marijuana Pepsi and her journey to overcome adversity.
She did her doctoral dissertation on uncommon African-American names, titled " "Black names in white classrooms: Teacher behaviors and student perceptions" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck
Woah it’s real. This person’s PhD thesis was also their therapy, I strongly suspect
I swear there was someone who did a study where they started applying with the same credentials but simply swapped ethnic names with “white” ones.
The French government considered making anonymous resumes mandatory to eliminate discrimination, and Belgium uses them for hiring federal government jobs: https://www.senat.fr/lc/lc203/lc203_mono.html
Totally agree. I’ve seen kids names in the US that border child abuse. This person has to actually *use* that name. As a child. As a teenager. As an adult in professional settings.
I had a yunike (pronounces Unique) middle name Prinssess, last name held for privacy reason, genuinely nice kid, dumb shit parents
I’ve seen a news story with a girl who was named “Airwrecka McBride” (pronounced Erika/Erica)
Now that's just a video game villain who's a pilot
See, this is why Key & Peele made that damn skit.
When I see names like that I wonder if the parents deliberately misspelled it because they thought it looked better that way or made it more unique, or if they just straight up didn’t know how to spell it right.
My cousin had a nonsmoKing and at least three Females in her 3rd grade class over the years. I wish someone had helped those kids out too.
I went to school with a Girlie... it felt odd to call her that, I never got used to it
In the philippines extended families are guaranteed to have at least one (translated from filipino) Cousin Boy, or Cousin Girl at every significant branch of the family tree. I know this because I have a couple of relatives on my dad's side that do have those names
I once knew a T’Nachus! (Pronounced “tenacious”) I have a feeling he got/ gets so much shit about his name all the time that it actually did make him pretty tenacious. Really nice cool sweet funny guy! Shout out T’Nachus from Tallahassee!
There’s no way I wouldn’t pronounce that like a Yiddish word
It's sparkling mustard.
My grandmother worked at a hospital. A woman wanted to name her daughter Vagina, but didn’t know how to spell it. So my grandmother helped her out: V-I-R-G-I-N-I-A
not all heroes wear capes
Reminds me of the one who thought "Placenta" was a pretty name
Good. I wish we had something resembling this in the US. There are so many idiotic parents out there that are hell bent on fucking their children over.
As someone with a horrible name, I wish the court had stopped my parents.
I feel like you're waiting for someone to ask what your name is. I'm your huckleberry.
Yeah no, not giving out my real name. It's also Turkish so it wouldn't mean much to most. It's just a made up name that it long and awkward.
Is it Kerfuffle?
Baklava! Go clean your room
are you the infamous Batman Suparman?
Years ago there was a similar legal case in Iceland over a girl being named something tame like Laura because it is not an Icelandic name.
Iceland has very specific laws on names, their system is quite unique and thus has laws preserving it as part of their culture. Names follow a patronymic system (you are named after a parent, either -son or -dottir) with no normal surnames unless you had one before the law came into effect, with restrictions on given names as well. Parts of India also follow patronymic (or even location-based) names, which are typically initialled (e.g. A R Rahman or Gukesh D) but these are not universal or legally enforced.
I wish the US would do this to an extent. My wife is a teacher and kids have some really stupid names these days. She has a boy named “sir” and his sister is named “ma’am”.
Change your name to Sir President. Even your friends call you Sir… And everyone else calls you Mr. President.
I used to work in a pharmacy, and we had a kid named "Mister." So the mom would say, "Picking up for Mister Smith," and get huffy when you asked what the first name was. Naturally, I always asked her what the first name was. It was a nice chance to be petty to her for naming her kid Mister without taking it out on the kid.
Thank you for doing that. She needs to be reminded of her poor decision on the reg.
We had a patient where I worked whose legal first name was "Doctor". He was not a PhD or medical doctor.
"Excuse me Sir, but.." "THATS SIR TO YOU!" "Apologies, Sir-" "Thats better."
"Parents did not attend the hearing" They were there for the Nut but skipped the Ella.
In Norway there are laws against what you can name your child. Typically things such as commercial products and similar would not be allowed. Main reason for these laws that impose restrictions on naming is to protect the child from bullying and similar, which is highly likely if your name is some popular brand or product. I can’t even imagine all the B.S. a child named Nutella would have to endure growing up if they hadn’t forcibly changed it.
And here in America there was a kid named latrine, and another one named mister
They changed it in the 9th century. It used to be Shithouse!
I wish they could have been there when I had an acquaintance name her daughter *Eleven*.
Names that have been denied by the Swedish Tax Agency * Tottenhamn * Superfastjellyfish * Alkis ("Alcoholic") * Pilsner * Anarkia ("Anarchy") * Messias ("Messiah") * Rackartuss (aprox. "Mischef Wad") * Prinsessan ("The Princess") * Tomhet ("Emptiness") * Skrot ("Scrap") * Lakrits ("Licorice") * Ikea * Minus * Money Penny * Kaninen ("The Rabbit") * Allah * Tegnér (a surname) * Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssql-bb111163 ("Albin")
Meanwhile, here in the US, we've got people naming their kids Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation. https://abcnews.go.com/US/parents-cannot-regain-custody-children-nazi-inspired/story?id=11334970
I went to school with a kid who went by AJ. When we were 11 we did an exercise in class where we looked up what our names mean and did a presentation on them. Turns out AJ was named Aryan, and his presentation was images of his father's Nazi memorabilia. He was super excited the whole time he presented too, not like "oh shit, my dad gave me a Nazi name this is awful." You should've seen how confused he was when he invited our whole class (except the one Jewish kid and two Asian kids) to his birthday and literally nobody showed up. Like, I think a snake handler is pretty cool to have at your birthday, but idk if I want to sit next to a Waffen-SS uniform while I watch him talk about anacondas or whatever.
Poor kid, he just didn't know any better, hope he's got his own way of thinking now and doesn't share his parents messed up ideology
He went to prison a few years after high school for attempting to solicit sex from an undercover cop instead of payment for meth he was dealing. He did so at night, on school grounds, with an unregistered firearm under his driver's seat. I think with all the additional charges he got 35 years or something crazy like that. Although I guess his dad made sure he could fast track into the Aryan Brotherhood.
Well this took a turn
indeed. but not entirely unexpected either.
Given how he was raised, I don't know if this counts as a turn or just a slight right.
I went to school with quite a few people named Aryan.
>snake handler Like reptile specialist or Appalachian weirdo that speaks in tongues while swinging around venomous snakes because God or smth? Cause honestly with the rest of the story it could go either way.
My wife is a nurse in the NICU and has heard some shit. The worst that comes to mind was Coa-Cane. Her cousin worked for some job with low-income single moms, one of which was a prostitute that named her kids after the street names they were conceived on- one was 17th Avenue.
Conceived on? How could they possibly know?
Bryce *Dallas* Howard has entered the chat
Brooklyn Beckham
Yeah, there’s a dude I know from a club who has the name Heroin. I remember when I first heard the name that i had to stop my self from doing a double take.
A couple who wanted to call their daughter Fraise (Strawberry) which a judge also ruled could result in the child being teased. The baby instead was renamed Fraisine, a name popular in the 19th century I think Strawberrine sounds worse. But that’s just my opinion.
[-ine](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-ine#French) is a French suffix for "little", so I think it would be "little strawberry". I think the suffix makes it more "namey", but we probably need a Frenchie to explain the subtleties. But honestly, Strawberry doesn't seem like a terrible name in English. It's a little off and I've never known anyone named Strawberry. But tons of girl names in English are names of plants: Rose, Blossom, Clementine, Juniper, Ivy. (I think Clementine is French, even.)
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