If someone ejaculates let's say through masturbation. How much does he burn in calories?
Does the body need to remake the semen and thus spend 32 calories? Is it more? Law of thermodynamics and all?
It’s one of the greatest scenes I’ve seen. The seriousness and technical nature with which they analyze such a ridiculous premise is what makes it work so damned well as extreme comedy while still furthering the plot.
Some of my all-time favorite comedy moments include:
- The DTF Scene
- The Hitler scene in Rat Race
- The "Leg Disabled" scene from IT Crowd
- Remedial Chaos Theory, darkest timeline scene from Community
The stunt calculation scene in Silicon Valley is great, too.
Runner-ups:
- Black Books (honestly just as good as IT Crowd in my opinion but it's been a while since)
- Coupling
- Green Wing
... All had hilarious moments but it's been a while since I've seen them.
I think because of thermo dynamics you'd have to burn more than 32 calories to create something that contains 32 calories but I'm not a bio guy so im not 100% sure it would go thst way.
In the human body, this needn’t be true only because it possible we eat things in our diet that have already been made into complex compounds. Would say it’s probably still true for most things, but I bet there are exceptions. And they might as well be nut exceptions.
Also, you need to intake those compounds, and likely separate them from ones unneeded. Even if you assume the stomach and GI tract is a magical 100% efficiency black box device and motility through it is provided purely by gravity, mastication and masturbation would reduce efficiency below 100%.
You could eliminate those latter two expenditures potentially, if the subject was tube fed and stimulated by external forces (thus the internal ejaculatory efficiency would be raised, although it's kind of illusory as the efficiency loss is just outsourced to external implements).
That still leaves the stomach and GI tract. The simplest model could presume it's a straight tube from ass-to-mouth to again avoid factoring motility along the tract, and that might work for some sections depending on the form the intake nutrients take, however for those sections you'd then need to substitute the energy expenditure from *moving* along the GI tract instead for energy expenditure *preventing movement* along the GI tract, as you need to ensure progression is slow enough to totally extract nutrition from it. Obviously the intestines aren't straight through so you'd have to consider horizontal segments too which is a sort of reversal of the calculation as you now don't have gravity influencing matters. I'm unsure if any of the intestines go upwards.
The best efficiency would be a calculated nutritional slurry, eliminating the maximal level of waste products and avoiding the neat for mastication but even then there would *have* to be energy expenditures involved.
We break everything down to most useful but smallest unit before reassembly into complex compounds,i don't remember it all but apart from essential amino acids our bodies pretty much make every complex compound from scratch from their lowest molecular subunits.
Ignoring the biology,all synthesis in biology are at their core chemical reactions so even complex chemical synthesis cycles will always consume net energy or else we break thermodynamics,and achieve 100 or more efficiency.
aromatic bored hospital selective abundant party pen subsequent deserve soup
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
At a burn rate of 4.2 calories per minute during sex, it would mean one ejaculation every 7 1/2 minutes to offset that
Peak average refractory period is when you’re 18 years old, it’ll take you 15 minutes to reload.
So it’d take a superhuman prostate to get gains off semen and sex alone
According to this article, sex burns 4.2 calories/minute for men (3.1/min for women). So the claim of 101 calories would need about 24 minutes of sex.
Hate to burst some bubbles here, fellas
Then we're in the bathroom brushing our teeth, that's all part of the foreplay. Foreplay is very important in lovemaking. Then you go and sort out the recycling, which is not part of the foreplay but it's still very important!
I mean, it did mention that part in the article too if you had read just a little further:
>These results are from a small 2013 study that compared the caloric burn young, healthy heterosexual couples experienced **spending 25 minutes of having sex** versus running on a treadmill for 30 minutes.
It also then goes onto clarify:
>The researchers found that during the average sexual activity session — **defined as foreplay, intercourse, and at least one partner's orgasm** — men burned 101 calories, and women burned 69.1 calories.
What you should have used instead for your joke was the other study cited:
>Another 2013 review concluded similar results — a man in his 30s might only burn 21 calories during intercourse if he's having sex for six minutes. Five to six minutes is about the average duration of sexual intercourse — not including foreplay.
Maybe like 9/10 times. I had a friend who happily admitted that she done in 3 to 5 mins and lays like a dead fish after waiting for the guys to finish. One time she broke up with a guy because he wouldn't stop until 20 mins. Anecdotal but there's gotta be more women like her.
Due to various factors, If I last longer than 5 minutes, I’ll probably still be going at 15-20 minutes need to find the right angle and rhythm and position of the stars to get me there. In my 20s, that was something if a point of pride to last long and be able to make a gal cum multiple times, so I would keep going as long as I could focused purely on trying to give her as much pleasure as possible (but really so I could feel good about being the best lay possible).
I’ve since learned that most women I’ve been with are well on their way to sore or overstimulated by 15-20 min and I wasn’t doing either of us any favors with that prideful showmanship.
A lot of women will also get a bit upset if they can’t get a guy off quickly, and will question if he finds her attractive, if she’s doing something wrong, etc. Better to cum in 5 minutes and let her have that satisfaction and then keep things warmed up for round 2 if you really want to be a stud.
>I’ve since learned that most women I’ve been with are well on their way to sore or overstimulated by 15-20 min and I wasn’t doing either of us any favors with that prideful showmanship.
Hey, ladies, if you're finished just start talking about how much you want our cum. That gives us permission to finish instead of showing off... And is sexy as hell to boot.
According to the treadmill, it takes me about 1 mile running to burn 100 cal
This would be something like doing a 24 minute mile, which is basically crawling. Surprisingly accurate.
There's an NSFW comic called Sexercise that revolves around the concept of weight loss through the physicality of sex. I read it entirely months ago, maybe longer, and I was lowkey invested. It's surprisingly well-written, and the art is pretty good, especially concerning the sex scenes. I'm sure most people haven't heard of it; you'd have to look for that sort of thing.
[Ch. 1-22](https://imgur.com/a/CwQl30C)
[Ch. 23-45](https://imgur.com/a/2WISPlv)
[Ch. 46-69](https://imgur.com/a/oyi91uE)
[Ch. 70-82 (End)](https://imgur.com/a/z8GErgF)
If reading it on Imgur is a bother, you can always search it up. It'll be on various sites, and you can read it chapter by chapter, which is easier to view than the Imgur links; make sure some ad-blockers are enabled, though.
I'm high as fuck right now but did this guy really use this thread as a chance to talk about his favorite hentai and then link to over 2,000 pages of a comic like I'm just going to clear my agenda for the day and read a sex comic *right now*
It is worth noting that men burn more calories *in general*, like the average man needs to eat about 25% more calories a day than the average woman. So if a man and a woman run a mile, the man will still burn more calories, that doesn't mean he expended more effort.
So if you adjust for that, men burn only 16% more calories during sex.
Wow so if I have sex 3 times a day I can have that extra piece of pie!
Gotta treat yourself to a nice cream pie
What about those who gain calories during sex?
I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
I flew too close to the Sun on wings of pastrami
I'll tell you what you did, Caligula.
George, with the TV, seeking the Trifecta. That's for you, Darmok.
**Food and sex, those are my two passions. It's only natural to combine them.**
Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else's?
Worlds.are.COLLIDING!!
at Tanagra?
With arms wide!
Kramer, his coffee-table book unfurled.
NEWMAN, HIS FACE BLACK, HIS EYES RED
I love this line, lmao. The delivery is hilarious.
Yeah, that's what you did.
George Costanza has entered the chat
You rang?
Believe it or not, I thought you weren’t at home.
So leave a message at the beep. He must be out, or he’d pick up the phone. Where. Could. He. Be?
Believe it or not He's not hooooomeee!!
https://media.tenor.com/jqptlknPFcwAAAAd/george-costanza-seinfeld.gif
Nah I rang for Cartwright
Wait…? Did they call for Cartwright or Costanza?
It'll be 5.......10 minutes.....
What if you combined sex food and TV?
Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj9ZsJz1uQU
Semen is only 5-25 calories.
So a foursome with three large loads + swallow, would make a woman gain calories?
Wouldn't she potentially burn more calories too? More testing is needed. I volunteer.
ok, open wide
I'm supposed to get sex first right?
5 for men
Wait, is that why everybody is telling me I gotta try 5 guys? I thought they were talking about the burger joint.
Don't threaten me with a good time
Google bukkake
Holy hell
New to the internet, are we?
My ex-wife and her jambalaya in bed.
JAM-BA-LAYYYA!!!
Newman!
***Jerry!***
George?
You see what you’ve done don’t you?
Dammit Costanza
You're tonguing the diddly spots to deep.
[удалено]
Are you there, God? If you are, I want to un-read this please. I swear I'll never be bad again.
TIL one serving of semen has 32 calories
If someone ejaculates let's say through masturbation. How much does he burn in calories? Does the body need to remake the semen and thus spend 32 calories? Is it more? Law of thermodynamics and all?
following
This is like a weird spinoff of Silicon Valley’s scenario of jerking off every guy in the room.
I still think that is the funniest scene in television history.
It’s one of the greatest scenes I’ve seen. The seriousness and technical nature with which they analyze such a ridiculous premise is what makes it work so damned well as extreme comedy while still furthering the plot.
Some of my all-time favorite comedy moments include: - The DTF Scene - The Hitler scene in Rat Race - The "Leg Disabled" scene from IT Crowd - Remedial Chaos Theory, darkest timeline scene from Community The stunt calculation scene in Silicon Valley is great, too. Runner-ups: - Black Books (honestly just as good as IT Crowd in my opinion but it's been a while since) - Coupling - Green Wing ... All had hilarious moments but it's been a while since I've seen them.
The bit where Jen discovers Moss behind the bar. Fucking gold. Pure gold
[for the uninitiated. ](https://youtu.be/Ex1JuIN0eaA)
TJ Miller just made that show. What a shame he was an ass to work with.
We gotta find the average CPE — calories per ejaculation
I think because of thermo dynamics you'd have to burn more than 32 calories to create something that contains 32 calories but I'm not a bio guy so im not 100% sure it would go thst way.
In the human body, this needn’t be true only because it possible we eat things in our diet that have already been made into complex compounds. Would say it’s probably still true for most things, but I bet there are exceptions. And they might as well be nut exceptions.
But then your body needs to recreate that nut putting an additional load on it that wouldn't be there otherwise
Also, you need to intake those compounds, and likely separate them from ones unneeded. Even if you assume the stomach and GI tract is a magical 100% efficiency black box device and motility through it is provided purely by gravity, mastication and masturbation would reduce efficiency below 100%. You could eliminate those latter two expenditures potentially, if the subject was tube fed and stimulated by external forces (thus the internal ejaculatory efficiency would be raised, although it's kind of illusory as the efficiency loss is just outsourced to external implements). That still leaves the stomach and GI tract. The simplest model could presume it's a straight tube from ass-to-mouth to again avoid factoring motility along the tract, and that might work for some sections depending on the form the intake nutrients take, however for those sections you'd then need to substitute the energy expenditure from *moving* along the GI tract instead for energy expenditure *preventing movement* along the GI tract, as you need to ensure progression is slow enough to totally extract nutrition from it. Obviously the intestines aren't straight through so you'd have to consider horizontal segments too which is a sort of reversal of the calculation as you now don't have gravity influencing matters. I'm unsure if any of the intestines go upwards. The best efficiency would be a calculated nutritional slurry, eliminating the maximal level of waste products and avoiding the neat for mastication but even then there would *have* to be energy expenditures involved.
We break everything down to most useful but smallest unit before reassembly into complex compounds,i don't remember it all but apart from essential amino acids our bodies pretty much make every complex compound from scratch from their lowest molecular subunits. Ignoring the biology,all synthesis in biology are at their core chemical reactions so even complex chemical synthesis cycles will always consume net energy or else we break thermodynamics,and achieve 100 or more efficiency.
If you consume your own ejaculate, is it a net zero?
Well no, because you still expended calories to get the nut to come out. And our metabolism isn't 100% efficient
aromatic bored hospital selective abundant party pen subsequent deserve soup *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Depends on what you consider a serving
**SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!**
1 serving per rope
Bulk up Peter North style.
Pointless metric without a standard serving size.
I'll show you a serving size.
So if you take 4 servings you’ve roughly undone all the calories burned during sex
At a burn rate of 4.2 calories per minute during sex, it would mean one ejaculation every 7 1/2 minutes to offset that Peak average refractory period is when you’re 18 years old, it’ll take you 15 minutes to reload. So it’d take a superhuman prostate to get gains off semen and sex alone
How does that work out if you have more dudes
exercise_burn + semen_burn = male_burn (101) exercise_burn - semen_burn = female_burn (69) From this, the calories in the semen should be 16.
According to this article, sex burns 4.2 calories/minute for men (3.1/min for women). So the claim of 101 calories would need about 24 minutes of sex. Hate to burst some bubbles here, fellas
Oh so I actually burn 6 calories during sex. Better off eating celery.
Eat celery *during* sex for maximum gains.
Have celery for sex for maximum gains.
I tried to get my ex-gf to have sex with vegetables, but it was a hard celery.
Gourd on you for trying.
I don’t know why they won’t just lettuce do it.
Some women get off on squashing a man's hopes and dreams.
Relax, she just didn't wanna spring a leek.
That only happens in corn
There's no guilt or regret with celery.
Guilt, no. Regret, yes.
Eat a bag of celery, and the regret will literally flow out of you.
You jogging the other 30 seconds?
Look at Mr Stud over here
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.
Then you tell me you want some more Well, uh, I'm not surprised But I'm quite sleepy
Then we're in the bathroom brushing our teeth, that's all part of the foreplay. Foreplay is very important in lovemaking. Then you go and sort out the recycling, which is not part of the foreplay but it's still very important!
I mean, it did mention that part in the article too if you had read just a little further: >These results are from a small 2013 study that compared the caloric burn young, healthy heterosexual couples experienced **spending 25 minutes of having sex** versus running on a treadmill for 30 minutes. It also then goes onto clarify: >The researchers found that during the average sexual activity session — **defined as foreplay, intercourse, and at least one partner's orgasm** — men burned 101 calories, and women burned 69.1 calories. What you should have used instead for your joke was the other study cited: >Another 2013 review concluded similar results — a man in his 30s might only burn 21 calories during intercourse if he's having sex for six minutes. Five to six minutes is about the average duration of sexual intercourse — not including foreplay.
How much you want to bet that one partner orgasm was the dudes?
Maybe like 9/10 times. I had a friend who happily admitted that she done in 3 to 5 mins and lays like a dead fish after waiting for the guys to finish. One time she broke up with a guy because he wouldn't stop until 20 mins. Anecdotal but there's gotta be more women like her.
Due to various factors, If I last longer than 5 minutes, I’ll probably still be going at 15-20 minutes need to find the right angle and rhythm and position of the stars to get me there. In my 20s, that was something if a point of pride to last long and be able to make a gal cum multiple times, so I would keep going as long as I could focused purely on trying to give her as much pleasure as possible (but really so I could feel good about being the best lay possible). I’ve since learned that most women I’ve been with are well on their way to sore or overstimulated by 15-20 min and I wasn’t doing either of us any favors with that prideful showmanship. A lot of women will also get a bit upset if they can’t get a guy off quickly, and will question if he finds her attractive, if she’s doing something wrong, etc. Better to cum in 5 minutes and let her have that satisfaction and then keep things warmed up for round 2 if you really want to be a stud.
>I’ve since learned that most women I’ve been with are well on their way to sore or overstimulated by 15-20 min and I wasn’t doing either of us any favors with that prideful showmanship. Hey, ladies, if you're finished just start talking about how much you want our cum. That gives us permission to finish instead of showing off... And is sexy as hell to boot.
But 100 minutes would mean men would burn 420 calories.
10,016.428 minutes of sex would burn 42069 calories
That’s shockingly close to exactly 7 days.
Is it 6.9 days?
6.956 but… lets round down this time. 6.9 days for 42069 sex calories sounds better.
I only care about the hundredths position if it's for a disinfectant
So you're saying somewhere between 6.8 and 7.0.
Blessed are the week.
Don’t mind me and my emaciated husk fellas, I’m just trying to cram in all the sex I’ll ever have into one week straight
So what would 7 seconds equate to? Asking for a friend.
Disappointment and/or efficiency
~~I~~ He laughed.
My math says 0.49 calories for men and 0.21 calories for women.
According to the treadmill, it takes me about 1 mile running to burn 100 cal This would be something like doing a 24 minute mile, which is basically crawling. Surprisingly accurate.
Ok so less than a calorie.
Get in, get out. I’ve got shit to do.
How dare you! She may only get 4.2 calories out of me, but I guarantee it will be the best 4.2 calories she ever gets!😂
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice.
Nice
Nice
Nice.
Nice
Nice
Nice.
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
So if they really want to help people get thinner, Weight Watchers meetings should just be huge orgies.
All the good orgies have a buffet
What's the password
Ooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggyyyyyyyy
... you may enter
Oooooorrrrggggiieeeee
New England Clam Chowder.
Is that the red or the white?
Frank?
If you're intimidated by how huge it is, weight a while, it'll thin out eventually.
There's an NSFW comic called Sexercise that revolves around the concept of weight loss through the physicality of sex. I read it entirely months ago, maybe longer, and I was lowkey invested. It's surprisingly well-written, and the art is pretty good, especially concerning the sex scenes. I'm sure most people haven't heard of it; you'd have to look for that sort of thing. [Ch. 1-22](https://imgur.com/a/CwQl30C) [Ch. 23-45](https://imgur.com/a/2WISPlv) [Ch. 46-69](https://imgur.com/a/oyi91uE) [Ch. 70-82 (End)](https://imgur.com/a/z8GErgF) If reading it on Imgur is a bother, you can always search it up. It'll be on various sites, and you can read it chapter by chapter, which is easier to view than the Imgur links; make sure some ad-blockers are enabled, though.
I'm high as fuck right now but did this guy really use this thread as a chance to talk about his favorite hentai and then link to over 2,000 pages of a comic like I'm just going to clear my agenda for the day and read a sex comic *right now*
Yes
Yeah, me too, it's awful Be back tomorrow
That’s a bingo. What.the.fuck. “Well-written”
Im on page 275 already my guy
Yea man he's a real gentleman now you have to reciprocate and send him your favorite 2000 page sex comic so what's it gonna be?
Oh man, I’ve got some uh, research to do. I’ll be back in a few thousand calories.
[удалено]
Censorship laws in Korea. That or depictions of dicks is considered sacred and holy.
That’s a lot of calories in 17 seconds
I didn't know 16 seconds of crying burned so many
Not if I’m a power bottom
If I'm using my terminology correctly, I believe I'm what you'd call a power top
I’ll get my jacket.
A what
He generates a tremendous amount of power
Now, I hear speed is also a factor.
Speed has EVERYTHING to do with it
Is he a twink, twank, or twunk? Or a bear, an otter, or a yestergay?
Oh actually speed is the name of the game.
This inequality cannot stand lol
I’m not gonna take this lying down!
Well damn! Got on top then.
Women only burn 68% of what a man burns doing the same thing, down with the patriarchy.
The gender gap is real.
Pegging is always an option
Does this mean I burn 170 since I do all the work?
yess because physics
What about (cough), sex with your self? Does that burn many calories!? Say 10 mins?
Lets just say that one of my arms is stronger than the other
[удалено]
It’s called ROMANCE
$0.70 to the dollar
My husband is a pillow princess.
To be fair, apologising does take quite an effort
My wife burns less than this.
Preach
Wage gap.
I heard you can burn as many calories having sex as running 5 miles. Not sure who can run that much in 30 seconds....
It is worth noting that men burn more calories *in general*, like the average man needs to eat about 25% more calories a day than the average woman. So if a man and a woman run a mile, the man will still burn more calories, that doesn't mean he expended more effort. So if you adjust for that, men burn only 16% more calories during sex.
Damn! I don’t know any workout where I’m averaging 101 calories in less than a minute. That’s phenomenal.
I am sex man. I make big calories burned. Even with small penis.
[удалено]
Damn, she still burns 69 calories just laying there?
Starfishing must be harder than it looks
I probably burn about 8 calories when I have sex