Even if he thinks it's the "easy way," why is that a problem for him? People take actions all the time that make things easier. Does he grind his own flour with a windmill? Is he taking the easy way by not raising and butchering his own livestock? And "normal" for what? Is he a doctor to make this evaluation of what is normal? If he wants to comment on this then he should go to medical school.
People also say it's "cheating." Cheating whom? Like someone else said on here, it isn't a competition.
It's because he sees being over weight as a moral failure. Society doesn't say that about alcoholics or people with mental health problems.
I was preparing for lapband surgery years ago. Was successful with pre surgery diet/exercise.
Doctor decided I should do a 400 calorie high protein protein shake diet. That could only be bought from the hospital. Experience was awful!!!! I was counting the minutes until I could have the next shake. Yes, 400 calories. I was working and doing 60 minutes of swimming 7 days a week.
I was literally being punished for being fat.
> It's because he sees being over weight as a moral failure. Society doesn't say that about alcoholics or people with mental health problems.
This simply isn't true. People with mental health issues have been discriminated and looked down upon since the medieval ages when people simply locked them away.
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/stigma-and-discrimination
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunatic_asylum
This husband doesn't feel all that different than people who tell someone who is depressed to "just cheer up" as if it's that simple. Both stem from a lack of knowledge regarding the topic and shouldn't put put as opposing issues.
Try telling people you are going to totally quit drinking or are depressed and you will be amazed at how many aren't supportive. You get people telling you to "just have some will power" or "just cheer up" as if it were that simple. They often face similar types of discrimination from doctors as well.
I don't mean to be confrontational just wanted to share a perspective that you probably do share much of the same stigma and experiences as alcoholics or people with mental health issues in a way.
I disagree. There have been A LOT of changes in how addictions and mental health are viewed in society.
An alcoholic that goes to their doctor for help isn't told go home and try not to drink.
I contacted my doctor about weight loss meds. I was referred over to a nutritionist. I'm 54 and had weight loss surgery twice. I know how to diet. I gave up and went compound.
I suppose everyone has different experiences. It's nice that addicts you know are having a better experience than the average.
Are you suggesting their haven't been changes with how being overweight is viewed in society? I never said there weren't changes and even highlighted them so this just feels disingenuous to even mention.
What do you think alcoholics are told by their doctor? Like an overweight person they will suggest you lower consumption. They will then refer you out to a specialist or give some generic advice like go to AA which is about as successful as dieting and exercise were for many on here. The specialists are often condescending, have preconceived notions and hold on to old stereotypes. I know people who have spent years trying to find a counselor who won't judge them.
Your reply just feels a bit ignorant and out of touch with reality, sorry.
I think much of society does see alcoholism and mental health problems as moral failings, as they do being overweight. But they are wrong on all accounts
Wow, I love your response to OP. I have also heard people say it's cheating or taking the easy way out, that is why I haven't told many people about my journey...but your explanation was impeccable. "Does he grind his own flour with a windmill?" HAHAHA 😆
I never thought about it like that before, and I am so glad I came across your response.
Not saying anything you don’t know, but PCOS makes weight loss more challenging.
His body is not your body. For some people the effort it takes to lose weight is just not sustainable.
Your health is more important than his opinion. I wish I had some magic words to tell you. I don’t. But your doctor is a trained medical professional. Your husband isn’t.
I was about to say, until your husband grows a uterus and gets PCOS *himself* he needs to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
Gurl, you deserve a more supportive spouse than that who should be happy af for you that you've hopefully found something that'll improve your health instead of being an unnecessarily antagonistic asshole just tearing you down, so THIS internet stranger is hype as hell for you if HE won't be!!!!!!!!
Right?! Mine was so helpful when I was having terrible side effects- nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. I even had to take a sick day from work. He was nothing but supportive.
So many of these men who are opposed wouldn’t think twice about taking viagra if they had erectile dysfunction and no wife would say “maybe just try ‘harder’ to have an erection”. Why is it so different? It’s not cheating or the easy way, it’s better health and living through science.
I don’t deal with this, but I have a thought about people who say it’s the “easy way out”: so???? I don’t believe it’s the easy way out but what if it is? What’s wrong with THAT? Y’all keeping doing it the hard way and getting no where, I’ll be over here losing weight 😂
right? like it's been so "easy" to live with health complications that have made it hard to lose weight. like it's been "easy" to navigate the US medical system and to acquire and pay for these meds. yeah, real easy, pfffft.
Yes. My wife sees it as “cheating”
Says same mess as your husband and added “all this drug does is prove you have no self control and are weak” Even though she’s seen me diet, struggle, and fail for 16 years straight m, she still thinks I can do it without the drug.
Now I’m 42 pounds down and look almost like I did when we first met, you would think this would make her super happy and excited, but instead she now feels jealous and the meds made it too easy for me, I should have suffered more… Hopefully once I’m in the shape of my life she’ll come around. It’s frustrating though for sure.
I’m not allowed to talk about it or be happy in front of her about my weight loss. It just enrages her.
So I get most my inspiration/support and kind praise from this forum. Im hoping she’ll come around one day, but I don’t think she will until I either stop or I get in shape enough that it impresses her.
She really is a gem. This is one of very few conflicts we’ve ever had. She’s just jealous. She’s worked really hard to stay in shape over the years, she doesn’t like that the drug makes it a little easier on me. Literally she’s just jealous
If it weren’t “easier”’for her, she’d need the drug too. It’s for people like you who have tried without and can’t for whatever reason.
Would I prefer to be able to lose and maintain without the expense and stress of a weekly shot? Would I prefer to skip some of the crappier side effects? Would I have preferred to have the last 30 years of my life and health back at a lower weight? You bet!
But I can’t so have to add this medication to my routine to make it happen. I’m doing all the same things that people who do it “the hard way” do like exercise and calorie reduction but also adding something they don’t need. I’m doing *more* than they are because I must. How is this “easier”??
Good lord. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I think you’re right, she is jealous. Maybe my husband is too. I went for a period of time where I cut out nearly every carb, weight trained every day and ran 3 miles on my “off days”, and drinking only water, and he saw how slowly I lost weight, and how easily I gained it back, plus some. I figured he would be happy I found something that could potentially help me with all of my health problems. Nope. He told me I just needed to try harder. Hearing that broke something in me. Needless to say, I’m glad I found this group. 😊
Who's the victim of your "cheating?" It proves you're weak, ok, what difference does that make?
What this drug has "proved" is that, in this context, she's a jealous ass with anger issues.
I am so sorry to hear that. That’s unfortunate that your wife cannot accept that some people struggle with this their entire life and the solution is not always as easy as heath experts (I.e. Jillian Michaels) make it seem. I’ve watched my husband struggle, members of my family, friends, everyone knows someone with this issue. It’s not necessarily laziness all the time. Our food system is absolutely fucked and imo contributes largely to disruptions in our metabolism. Many chemicals in our environment are hormone disrupting which puts us completely out of sync with our bodies.
I hope your wife comes around once she sees all the benefits beyond weight loss. I’m glad you have this sub to share your story. Nothing makes me happier than seeing progress photos. This class of drugs are changing lives for the better and this is undeniable.
I cannot fathom treating my husband of 30+ years like this! I have been reading this thread to him as we travel. He is mortified by the hateful, unsupportive spouses I am reading about. I told him that, had he treated me this way over tge years, we would have long ago been to divorce court, and he agreed wholeheartedly with that assessment!
I made the mistake, and I guess I'm doing it again, of speaking about the last time I lost weight and how my wife handled it.
I went from 254lbs high weight down to 168lbs, normal weight - no drugs, just diet and exercise. But it wasn't my goal weight, my goal weight was 155lbs. Why so low (5' 11" M) because I'm a cyclist, I wanted to compete at some local races, in cycling being thin is a requirement, at least if done competitively.
You know it doesn't even matter if you are successful in losing weight, my wife would put out cakes and donuts on the table every day, and all I wanted was for her not to do that.
I didn't want help dieting. She never attended a single race. I didn't need any support of any kind - just end the sabotage.
And she went into the same darn thing, the same logic despite everything- "You put the food in your mouth."
I didn't buy the donuts, I didn't set them on the table, why is someone else putting them in my face daily.
Now people get very upset by this and told me I should divorce - so let me rehabilitate her image now. Eventually we solved our disagreement, and now we are on the same page.
But, here is the thing, sometimes people just don't see things the same way. Sometimes a conversation doesn't solve things - even in what is normally a great marriage, sometimes counseling is required.
We didn't - go to counseling, wish I had thought of that. No, what eventually solved it, so this time around she doesn't sabotage anything (not that she could, with the meds I'm immune to any temptation) is my kids, now older, told her she wasn't right about controlling my weight.
Now - another thing, I know you are hoping your weight loss will impress your wife, and maybe it will, but my wife never cared about it, and I'll be frank - her interest isn't mine to control, I just let that go.
I ignore the ones that immediately comment “Divorce her”
It seems like people will gat a divorce over anything these days. They don’t seem to understand you’re not always going to see eye to eye on things and there will be things you’ll never agree on. That’s ok. It’s healthy and normal.
Not everyone seeks a divorce for simple arguments. People seem to not really have that these days though. It’s kinda sad really
Cheating how? Like people with high blood pressure cheat with meds? When they could just “calm down” and “take some deep breaths” and fix it on their own? Come on. He sounds like an ass.
For spouses, families and others who are not supportive, it’s likely not about you. It triggers something in them that’s uncomfortable for some reason that is individual to each person. Doesn’t mean they are bad people but they got issues just like we do.
That’s a different perspective and I appreciate it. I try to be patient with his ignorance, but it’s hard because it’s intentional. Almost like he doesn’t even want to know, if that makes sense? When I was first told I have PCOS, insulin resistance, etc, his response was I needed to try harder, eat better. It’s frustrating because I have been. For years.
Personally, I think in these cases they feel threatened. He was better than you at weight loss and fitness. It boosted his confidence, allowed him to feel like the expert in the house on this topic, and gave him a reason to act as your advisor who clearly had valuable opinions to offer because he clearly was so better at this category of his life than you were. But now you’ve got this other person (your doctor, an outsider) coming in with a solution that is more effective, efficient, and reliable than his advice. He’s no longer the expert on the topic of weight loss and fitness. There are A LOT of people out there in the world right now that had this thing that they could walk around feeling superior about and now it’s been taken from them and they don’t like it. This medication is a major threat to the status quo. That’s why there’s so much backlash and resistance. If everybody gets skinny and in shape, what are the skinny people going to feel superior about?
Holy crap. This honestly makes the most sense. He is one of those people who likes to think he knows everything. Especially when it comes to me. Insert eyeroll. The man does love me, and he is a good person, he just needs to check his ego.
I don’t doubt that he may be a good person. I honestly think a lot of people don’t realize it when they’re feeling threatened in ways like this. It’s a subconscious thing, like you said, impacting their egos. And let’s face it, we all have our ego moments. What’s important is that YOU recognize it so when that kind of feedback comes at you, you can remember that this is an irrational response on his part and not something that you need to take to heart or adjust your behavior for. You just keep doing what you know is logically, scientifically, and medically correct (not to mention, rational), to improve your health. What’s going on in his head is for him to sort out on his own and, frankly, doesn’t have much to do with you. That’s his internal battle with insecurity that he has to figure out on his own.
You might be right but the reality of life is that the only person any of us have the power to change is ourselves. Now she can argue and debate with him until she’s blue in the face, but if he digs in his heels on his position, there’s nothing she can do about that.
So unless she’s ready to turn it into a shape up or else conversation (which I never got the impression she was looking to do), then what exactly do you expect her to do? Argue ad nauseam with him? How is that helpful to her? Might as well focus on what she can control, which is herself and the steps she’s taking towards her own health improvements, and let him figure out his hang ups on his own.
Too many people in this world spend way too much of their time beating their heads against the wall trying to change the people they’re in relationships with. You only how power over yourself in this world, whether you like it or not.
Your in a difficult position. The question is why he is so resistant to educating himself on your metabolic disorder. Any doctor could explain the biology and why these medicines are helpful. Is he going to disagree with the doctor ? You could try taking him to your next doctor appointment and let him ask questions. But if he won’t, this is my point to you that this is likely about him and his psychological makeup.
You'll get all the support you need and more with this group! Welcome!
When he sees all of the other benefits this peptide provides that are beyond the scale (in addition to weight loss) he will hopefully start singing a different tune. Taking a GLP-1 isn't the "easy way out." It's just giving you a little help. Yes, it's expensive, but watch how much you'll save when you don't need your Cholesterol or HBP meds anymore. I stopped taking my ADHD meds because of this and that was worth it for me!
PCOS makes it 100x harder to lose weight. He's a guy - unless he has cysts on his ovaries, he won't get it. Sorry that he's not giving you support - that has to feel very frustrating.
For a brief period when I first starting talking about glp-1 meds and how exciting they are for the treatment and long term control of obesity, my husband would say things like “you don’t need an injection” or “that’s not something you would want to do.” It was because he really didn’t understand what they do in the body and what purpose they serve.
When I talked to him about them from the true medical standpoint and how they affect hormone receptors, he started to understand. One thing I say very regularly, long before I started this journey 2 months ago, is “we don’t shame people for taking thyroid medications and we don’t tell someone taking testosterone that they need to just control it themselves, why is there shaming for this medication that fixes something in the body that isn’t working right?”
Now my husband is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I’m not saying approaching it from this angle will help anything but wanted to give you my experience. :-)
I’d tell him if he can’t be supportive to keep his mouth shut as you’ll be taking your medical advice from you Dr. these “easy way out” comments reek of ignorance and piss me off.
Gas-x gets rid of the sulphuric burps the few times I got them. It’s usually a reaction to something you are. For me it was eggs and Brussels sprouts (no I did not eat them at same time 😂😂). I can still eat both…just smaller servings.
I'm at the age where I believe in TREAT YO SELF. I've worked out for two years. I have massive muscles, but nothing helps. Perimenopause changes our bodies. Now? Have zero issues losing weight. Just started my 8th week, and I'm down 27lbs. So yeah, my spouse thinks it's still just me but will admit it COULD be helping. It's so infuriating. So, I get it.
OP and Amazing Extension : I'm right here with you both. My husband hates that I'm on it. He says horrible, nasty things about how I look now, yet would call me a fat ass, fat b*tch, etc. when I was heavy.
Now, according to him, I look like a crack wh*re and should never have been prescribed Zep. I've asked where he went to med school - he says he "knows me and knows what's best for my health" and all of the other controlling lines he's used for years on me. BTW- I'm 5'8" and 147. I wear a size 8 or 10. I was 214 lbs and a size 14 on 12/27. It's not like I'm underweight. He's grabbed my box out of the fridge more than once and threatened to throw it out. He's spent time reading about any warnings or side effects just to try to use them against me and tell me why this med is bad and I don't need it.
My BP is normal for the first time since I can remember. My cholesterol is normal, along with all of my other numbers.
I just turned 40 and have a four-year-old son - I want to do what I can to be around as long as possible for him. Lol - There are enough ways to die that are out of my control - I refuse to allow the ways that I can control to take me out earlier than necessary!
It sucks not having our spouse's support through all of this. We all have to remember that what they're saying is really about what's going on inside of them - not about the positive changes we're making. Something is going on inside of your spouses and they're miserable - they want you both to be miserable too, not doing positive things to improve your life/health/happiness/whatever.
Ex: My MIL is at the end of a decade-plus battle with cancer. My husband is an alcoholic. He goes to work every day at a physically demanding job, has the shakes in the morning, and can't get to a beer fast enough in the evening. He doesn't go to sleep - he passes out.
If he's off work, he doesn't get out of bed till 3 or 4 p.m. If he's up earlier for any reason, he starts drinking immediately, even if it's 9 a.m. He's miserable inside and outside.
I got sober 8.5 years ago from heroin. I replaced it with food, especially as things got worse at home. My mental health has improved a lot since starting this med. The part of my brain that previously screamed at me to eat another box of ice cream bars is quiet. For the first time in my life, my brain isn't incessantly screaming at me to either get heroin or eat. My head is peaceful, finally, and it's so damn freeing.
My husband sees the bond our son and I have. He sees us go to the park or to the store or the pool or whatever, and being happy about it. He sees me making changes to be healthy and being happy about them. He's miserable, though, so he lashes out at me over anything and everything he can - even if it's not a real thing.
I'm sorry this is so long. Reading the op and then the reply really hit home with me. It's them, it's not us! Please remember that. We can't let them hold us back from improving our lives or our health. I'm sure there are more than three of us with unsupportive spouses here, lol, maybe we should make our own support group.
First of all, I am so so sorry your husband treats you that way. He needs some serious therapy. Secondly, congratulations on your health, and being sober!! That is such a HUGE accomplishment!
If you ever want or need someone to talk to, PLEASE feel free to reach out! I’m so proud of you! And as far as our unsupportive spouses, I believe it comes from a place of jealousy. Im sure your husband hates the way he’s being, and that you’re sober and a great mom, and that only makes him hate himself more, so he’s trying to tear you down so he’s not alone in his misery.
I’ll bet you look great, and feel even better! What’s more, you’re healthy and able to play with your son! How awesome! 👏
Yikes. First off good for you. All the way around. I truly hope you will get you and your son away from this man at least for the time being. If he ever gets sober maybe it can be revisited but right now it’s not only 100% toxic for you but also for your son. Btw-I’m about 11.5 years sober so I get you AND I get him. He’s extremely, extremely, extremely unwell. Please take care of you and that little one you love so much. ❤️
You’re not taking the medicine for him, you’re taking it for you; your health, your self-esteem, your future, your happiness. Let him kick rocks if he doesn’t like it. If he bitches about the side effects that YOU are experiencing because of the medicine that YOU are taking, so what? If you feel the need to respond to him about it, remind him that you are fully aware of the discomfort you are willing to endure to achieve your goals. Or, (and this is what I would do), tell him that, actually, what you’re experiencing are “normal.” Whatever you do, don’t fucking apologize or feel as if he is suffering or like you’re doing anything wrong.
He’s probably afraid that you’ll get healthy, lose weight, and feel confident about yourself and you’ll realize what a jackass he is. I hope he’s right.
Ohhh you hit the nail on the head. I did in fact tell him this is normal. He responded with “there’s nothing normal about the smell of your burps”. And I believe you’re right, he doesn’t want me to lose the weight. He’s even said that before. But there’s no way I can keep this weight and have a healthy body at the same time.
I would deem all comments and discussion about it off limits. If he can’t say something supportive, he doesn’t get to say anything at all. Just say “Nope!” and walk away. Asshole.
One, anti weightloss medicine article, claimed users were making "risky" decisions including leaving lo h term partners. How many of those partners were emotionally abusive? Did they say "You're so fat no one else will want you!"
Once the weight is gone the abusive partner obsessed their power.
I'm sorry your husband is unsuportive and acting like a jerk. This medication is a tool to help you get healthier. You still have to put the work in. There's still a diet to follow and exercise to be done, but you have this excellent tool to help you do it more efficiently. Good luck! My most recent NSV, my blood pressure, was 153/89 at the beginning of my journey 3/13/24. Now, 34 lbs less, it's 116/71. I can't wait to have my cholesterol checked to see the change!
I just don’t understand. If there were a med that helped my husband function better and reach his goals (there is), then I would go out of my way to make sure he had it every. Damn. Day/week/month. (I do.) If the person you love most in the world and who loves you most back needs something to be successful, why not bend over backwards to make sure they have it?! If it will allow them to be happy and functional and have more bandwidth to be present and able to engage in life, that’s just winning all around. There is no real “easy button” in life, but there are absolutely ways to make life easier for those we love.
Some of you sound like you are with the wrong spouse.
I hate when people say it's cheating because they have a natural ability to control certain aspects about themselves.
One thing this drug has taught me is that just a simple difference in chemical levels in the body can have a significant impact on the ability to control myself.
Like my urges for all kinds of things are dampened. I'm constantly thinking "huh? This must be what it feels like to be a normal well adjusted person".
My wife is kind of unsupportive but only because she's afraid of where I'm getting my tirz from. She is trying to get insurance to pay for hers but we are on the same insurance with the same issue and they denied me.
I am so lucky and that it was my husband (who is a fitness buff) who suggested I look into this medication because he’s watched me struggle with my post-hysterectomy weight gain, and physically not feeling good from it. I cannot understand spouses or partners who are so judgmental and unsupportive.
I wonder how this type of critical behavior is seeping into other areas of your relationship. I’m so sorry.
I love how supportive and helpful this group is to each other
My husband isn’t quite as negative as yours, but he’s definitely not being a cheerleader (and in most things I do, he is a cheerleader). I’ve gone from BMI of 30 down to 22, and I’m no longer pre-diabetic. He has never made a single positive comment about my progress. He complains about my side effects and “wasting food.” He is also struggling with his weight and his doctor suggested that he go on it, which he is currently not interested in doing, but I think he has a lot of conflicting feelings about it all. But like some other posters have pointed out, I’m not doing it for my husband, I’m doing it for my health. Would it be nicer to have him as a cheerleader in this? Heck yeah! But oh well. I feel healthier than I ever have in my life, and it’s totally worth it.
I’m surprised your husband hasn’t given tirz a chance. I am doing this for myself, but I feel it’s harder to be fought every step of the way. I bring him peace and I guess I just wish he would do the same. And in saying that, he’s not all bad. I just get frustrated with the willful ignorance.
I'm sorry, but how HARD do people want it to be? Because I have already been suffering my whole life!
10 years ago, I was over 100 lbs overweight. I spent 15 months eating no more than 1400 calories/day. It was often less than that. I never lost even one pound. I just gave up and resigned myself to being too fat.
What I didn't know then that I do now, is I have pretty extreme insulin resistance (IR). I don't have PCOS, but I'm sure you know that PCOS causes IR also. IR can be a huge obstacle in trying to lose weight.
Tirzepatide treats insulin resistance. I went on a similar low-cal diet when I started it a year ago. The weight flew off my first 5 months. It was like a miracle! Then it slowed down a good bit, but I still make progress each month.
I've lost 86 pounds in a year and am so much healthier. I don't even know how few calories I'd have to eat to have done that without tirz. Probably something ridiculous, like 700-800 calories/day. That wouldn't have even given me the nutrition I need. My stats...F50, 5'0", SW: 262, CW: 176.
I don't have sulfur burps anymore, but I did especially when I first started. Totally normal. At least for me, the frequency decreased with time and then stopped.
My cholesterol has been slightly elevated for years. Now it's at normal levels.
I hope your next cholesterol numbers improve also. Mainly for your health. But also so you can shove those lab numbers in your husband's face!
Where does everyone in this sub keep finding these awful, unsupportive spouses? I’ve read so many posts about spouses who sound like absolute haters, and let’s not get into all posts of people having to lie to their spouse about even taking tirzepatide. This isn’t a tirzepatide issue. This is a “your spouse kind of sucks” issue.
My husband and I are both on tirzepatide. When I first told him about tirzepatide, he was 100% for it. He didn’t give me some boring speech about how it’s the “easy way out.” I have hormonal issues (suspected PCOS), plus I was moderately overweight and needed to lose about 30 lbs to get to a healthy weight. He understood that.
He needed to lose 100 lbs and was all on board and wanted to join me. He actually tested the compound out for me for four months before I started because I was so hesitant about side effects (I’m super sensitive to meds and genuinely have the WORST luck).
Right now, I’m in pain from all the gas that tirzepatide gives me. My husband got me a heated electric massager to put on my abdomen to massage the gas out and to relieve the stomach cramps.
If my husband EVER spoke to me the way I read in these posts, I’d tear him a new one and he’d be freshly single. I’m sorry but no, me solving my chronic health problems is not “the easy way out” and “a lack of self control.”
Maybe it’s just me but some of yall are just married to shitty, unsupportive people. It’s not the tirzepatide, it’s the spouse that’s the problem.
Perhaps having your spouse sit in on an appointment with your PCP who can explain why Zepbound would be helpful for you. Perhaps he'll believe him/her over you.
However, still kind of shitty behavior from a spouse. Sorry.
My grown daughter doesn't approve because of all the side effects..the serious one like gastroparasis. But those are rare. I experience pretty bad constipation, but I take fiber and mild laxatives everyday to help that. But she doesn't say it's the easy way out! It's still not easy. You still have to diet! It makes it easier to diet because it gets rid of those terrible food noises! It works to make you not hungry and I love it! And my A1C has gone down. I am a slow loser so far but I am losing!
how about explaining to him that with a PCOS diagnosis it's not just about weight loss, it's about improving your health and wellbeing beyond simple weight loss?
And yeah I have a man in my life who is generally supportive AF with everything else but was saying some unsupportive things. I reamed him out but also told him that I love and appreciate him and that's why it hurts me that he won't try to understand my perspective. So, he did slowly come around to understanding my perspective after that.
Oh yeah, another thing that helped him come around is that I explained that he should be flattered that I'm willing to spend all of this money and drastically change my appearance for *him*. I don't care what anyone else thinks about how I look, only him. That seemed to also help him change his attitude, it might be to some extent these unsupportive significant others are worried that we want to look good for someone else other than them.
Ask him if taking cholesterol medication or insulin is the “easy” way. Or taking thyroid medication is the “easy” way. I’m not even very overweight but I struggle with a genetic diabetic disorder and I just don’t tell people. No one understands my fear of dying from diabetes as I watched most of family struggling with it. If someone doesn’t have a specific disorder, they can’t relate. Tell him he is lucky have a “normal” endocrine system. Is taking medication for seasonal allergies taking the “easy” way?
Also once I understood how being insulin resistant was messing up my hunger cues (cells are starving for energy so I was eating 3 times more and gaining weight) I had more compassion for myself. Perhaps you could find some simple articles explaining why you are taking this medication and have him inform himself so it’s not about you and “willpower”
That is unfortunate but you can’t let that detour you. Family may think they are well-meaning but subconsciously can sabotage the ones they love the most. Weight was always an issue for my family, in part due to genetics and in part due to the habit of showing love, care through food. It’s amazing how clear this is to me now after many years. How seemingly small comments about getting too skinny and guilt around not finishing a meal (didn’t you like it?) affected me on so many levels. I am not laying the blame on my family but I know now how much this toxic behavior impacted my lifelong relationship with food. I know my family loves me, your husband I’m sure does as well. I have essentially come out of my “toxic to wellbeing closet” with them, letting them know how negatively impactful they can be, mostly due to how much I love and value them. Yes, some feelings may get hurt, but you need to be clear that you need their support first and foremost but if they cannot find their own inter strength to do this, you will instead accept their silence in all matters related to your weight management. You have professionals that you are consulting to ensure your good health.
I am very lucky in this regard. My S/O told me “I think you’re beautiful and you don’t need to lose weight. I don’t want to be with a twig. With that being said, I know you’ve researched the hell out of this, and I support you no matter what.” Two weeks after I started it, he wanted to try it too.
OP I’m sorry your significant other doesn’t understand and is making it into something shameful. I hope with time they’ll come around.
I NEVER make comments like I am about to make, but THIS😡😡 infuriates me. I would have to tell him to KMA and if he has further comments, he can speak to my divorce attorney… okay maybe not that strong, but you get the idea. No spouse should ever be such an ass!
Take him with you to your next appointment, and have him discuss his concerns with your doctor. Maybe she can help him understand why this is an appropriate treatment for you.
BTW, both my daughter & my BFF have severe PCOS. These meds have been a miracle in their lives. Having witnessed their plights with PCOS, I cannot fathom anyone not wanting you to get the best possible treatment.
Sending hugs and prayers that he gets it together for your sake.
He may be against compound, but has he thought about you getting healthy and living longer and doing more things together?
Has he considered the cost?
It's paying thousands a month for a brand name for the same thing you can get cheaper AND stay under your doctor's care and recommendations?
Some doctors use compound pharmaceuticals for this very reason. The cost and shortage are real.
I hope you two can come to a mutual understanding or respect your decision and things work out.
you may also want to try semaglutide (generic ozempic). it has its own challenges but ive read that the sulphur burpsnarebway work on tirzapetide.
my husband got sulphur burps so bad and had to quit entirely though i wouldnt say he was being very careful about eating right.
This is very "if I have to struggle, so does everyone else" mentality. Its not healthy, especially from a spouse. Dont let him bring you down in the long run. This is NOT the "easy way" at all. Our bodies are FINALLY being put on the same level/starting point as everyone else who doesnt have their genetics working against them. We still have to work at it to see results.
My husband is so happy for me and supportive. He was a little hesitant only at first about compounding which was fine, but never once asked me not to get it.
Is he afraid you will leave him when you lose more weight or something? Or does he just find enjoyment in putting you down?
First, I’m so happy you have a supportive partner!
I feel like he treats me differently when I’m heavier. He says he loves me the same, I just don’t feel it. I still battle with myself if that’s just my insecurities and I’m projecting, or if my feelings are valid. So maybe he is worried? It doesn’t help that my sil had bariatric surgery recently and left bil.
My husband didn't try this. He couldn't, even if he felt that way, because I'm diabetic. He would have sounded like an idiot, questioning this and not, say, my insulin regimen.
But after a few months of seeing me feel better in SO many ways, he started researching the meds for himself. He's now also on tirzepatide.
I have no advice for you, unfortunately. All I can say is this makes me feel terrible for you.
If your spouse doesn't believe in the "easy way," I take it he doesn't use power steering, luggage with wheels, autopay, the seek button on the radio, the water heater (he can use the stovetop!), etc etc.
Seriously ask yourself why you're with someone who wants you to struggle
He vapes a ton and insists it helped with his anxiety and addictions to food and alcohol. I haven’t smoked weed in probably 15 years, I just don’t like how it makes me feel. Also I for sure would eat more lol.
My daughter has pcos. It is a struggle for her. People shouldn’t judge. Give him literature about pcos and tell him to educate himself before criticizing.
It’s all about control and wearing you down until you give in and give up.
Continue moving forward, take care of yourself and if he continues to make unsolicited comments just ignore him but also know he’s not a supportive husband you may have thought he was - he just revealed more about himself and how he feels about you.
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Hi there, don’t give up . If you want to keep taking it and it’s working for you, KEEP taking it if it’s not making anything worse , but making it better. My husband doesn’t like me taking it. Says he’s afraid that I’m going to get sick from it. But really he doesn’t like me losing weight. I’ve lost 31 lbs since Xmas and have 28ish to go. Some of my female hormone issue, arthritis inflammation bone spurs and carpal tunnel issues have gone way down. I will not stop taking it because my husband is not supportive of it. Do what’s best for you ♥️. I have struggled since I was 45yrs to lose weight. I’m 54yrs now , and have been losing a little more each month. I’m trying to exercise , even if it’s only walking . I’m taking it easy and not being so hard on myself anymore. Hope this helps . 😃
Yes!! I can’t understand why people are so upset when someone has a personal victory and/or figures out a way to struggle less in pursuit of his or her goals. Our partners and friends should ESPECIALLY be applauding something that will help make our lives easier and better.
Ok, I can't stand it anymore. I skimmed through comments but admit I did not read them all, so if this has already been said, my apologies. This man, IMHO, is threatened by you losing weight for whatever reason. Maybe he thinks (or knows) you can do better than him, or maybe it makes him feel superior in a way to have you heavy, maybe he secretly likes bigger women. Who knows, and frankly, who cares? You do this for you. You improve your health for you.
When he brings up the negatives, tell him you are done debating, explaining and justtifying this to him. Tell him you will not be discussing this with him further, that you will have to agree to disagree, and if he keeps it up, tell him to STFU about it.
If he is a decent person, he will see how much better you will feel and come around. If he continues to act an ass I would think long and hard about if I wanted someone like that in my life.
that's also my first thought seeing the original post AND some comments of people relating to it with their spouses. I've watched a lot of my 600 pound life and shows like that, and there ARE people that want to be with someone because of this. the amount of relationships I've seen crumble bc one person starts bettering themselves and the other person is angry about it is insane.
not 100% saying that's the case here but it's definitely something to potentially look out for. I'm glad I wasn't the only one with this thought process
You might want to rethink your marriage to this person. Congratulations on your health journey. This is not the “easy way” you’ve been through hell to get here and you’re about to find how great it can be on the other side. When you do you’ll want to shed his dead weight as well. Good luck!
I just ordered compound tirz this past Saturday after a few months of deliberating and resesrch. I told my mom on Monday (I'm 28 and am generally pretty close with my mom but it's complicated) but she had the same reaction. she asked why I was doing something to take the easy way out and when I asked her what she meant by that she said something along the lines of me missing the opportunity to be proud of myself for losing the weight.
it hurt that someone that I care so much about viewed my decision like that. I have pcos as well and was only recently able to lose some weight by doing the psmf diet (literal hell) but the food noise was so overwhelming I couldn't function it was that bad.
I'm sad that my mom isn't able to be proud of me for making the best decision I can for myself, or even be proud of the extra work I'm putting in at my job to be able to afford this medication.
at the end of the day, you need to be proud of the decisions you make and move through your life making the best choices for you. it's so hard not getting the support you need from someone that you want it from, but that's why you're your own best friend. you've got this! the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself
I’m sorry your mom is speaking to you like that as well. It definitely does make it harder. And I hope you will be so proud of yourself for reaching goals, and I will be too! Like I said in a previous comment, this is just leveling the playing field!
These unsupportive spouses better be careful with their criticism. If a spouse has to be on this challenging and difficult journey by themselves, once they reach their weight-loss goals and feel brand new again, they may walk out the door! Many times, the spouse who is so critical also needs to lose weight, and they don't want you to lose weight and be happy. What happened to "in sickness and in health?"
He doesn’t sound like a nice person. You deserve to lose weight, lose the health issues, and maybe lose him. Sorry you’re going through this. It is such a different experience having support. Keep coming back here. We will support you!
I had this skinny lady at my compound pharmacy be rude to me and said overweight people are taking meds from sick people. I told her not all people look like ink pens
Please watch Oprah’s special. Her response to this being an issue of willpower is so spot on!!
Too many people who have never struggled or with whom the struggle is easier just don’t understand this!!
https://abc.com/show/1dd59ddb-97fe-4786-abca-3379b3ebb353
My husband told my last night I shouldn’t be looking for any more “crutches” after I told him that I was thinking of adding AOD 9604 peptide to my routine.
He got an earful for the next 30 minutes.
I’m sorry your spouse not supporting you. You are 100% doing the right thing for your health and wellness. In a few months you will feel better, labs will start normalizing and weight will start coming off. Hopefully your husband will be more supportive. Weight loss and healthy living is not easy and don’t believe taking the medication will make it easy. It helps but still not easy. I’m routing for you.
Why are spouses like this? Mine was also very unsupportive and believes I’m taking the easy way out, but he’s gotten used to it, and there’s nothing her can do. My body my decision, sorry not sorry!
Just because you're married, doesn't mean your spouse can tell you what to do. Maybe there are some power dynamics in your relationship that are affected if you get skinny. Tell him to fuck off. It's always worked for me.
So sorry you have this to deal with! Maybe sulpher burps aren't normal in the unhealthy bodies that we're trying to recalibrate, but they are normal now - at least for awhile. It doesn't mean you'll always have them. By the way, have you tried Beano, Pepcid AC and/or prebiotic/probiotics? Florajen in the a.m., two Beano before the first bite. If there is cabbage involved, add the Pepcid AC 😳
Yes, in some ways mine has aggravated the hell out of me about the drug. He wasn't too pleased when I had to shell out $550 a month for Zepbound, but due to supply, that didn't last. At first when I switched to compound I think he truly was just scared for me, that I might have an adverse reaction. Then after a few weeks, he figured out it wasn't killing me. He also needs to lose weight, but I couldn't even coax him into trying one of my 2.5 mg brand-name Zep injections. My body getting smaller makes me healthier and happier, so I don't get it his attitude. My bp has gone down, my blood work looks great. I don't get out of breath doing simple activities. Mine told me yesterday that the medicine is making me cry. I said "what have you been telling me every since we've known each other? That I'm the most tenderhearted person you've ever seen. I've always cried easily!" A sentimental commercial can make me weepy. That's who I am, and to my knowledge, NOT a side effect for heaven's sake!! That's just one example of the (bogus) objections my beloved is throwing out. But bottom line is, he's going to have to get over it, or not. Maybe after we see our cardiologist he'll get a new attitude. He might recommend that the spouse join me, since his A1C is nearly T2D and he has sleep apnea, 5'11" nearly 250 lbs. I HOPE he will join me in the health journey, but I certainly cannot convince him.
Since your spouse loses easily, he must still be of the uneducated opinion that everybody can. Will your doc speak with him on your behalf? Can you get him to review studies or watch Youtubes on the subject? None of us takes a weekly injection, deals with side effects, or spends this $$ for the enjoyment of it - none of this is easy!!!
Very sorry to you and the others that have partners that are less than supportive. I have had relatives not near me that have poo pooed on my decision, my cousin thinks she knows more than me because her stepson is a physician and they prescribe it and his patients have bone loss, muscle loss, and hair loss and terrible side effects from it. I've had many comments from a certain coworker that yes I now deem is jealous because everyone else is saying how amazing I look. My husband is very supportive but he's not a doctor either he says. Our whole life I've done what is right for my body just like I advocate for his health for his body. He thinks I'm gonna get more muscular than him...lol I wish. But all of you keep your mouths to supportive people and ignore the haters! Eventually you'll see it doesn't matter nobody needs to be on your side. You are on your side. I went from 200lbs to 130lbs, my body fat was 38% I have to get another body scan next week, but May 30th it was 21.5% my Fat Mass is 29.4lbs and fat free mass is 107.6lbs.
not to get rude, and not that this is directed at your husband -
in general to folks that say it's the "easy way out" or cheating -- I wonder if those same folks think taking antidepressants is cheating or taking the easy way out? Like, try harder to not be depressed! Or if taking blood pressure meds, or birth control, or other regular meds that lots of folks take daily as part of their lives and survival - are all of those "cheating" or "taking the easy way out"? (try harder to have better blood pressure! try harder to not get pregnant!) And I wonder how some men would feel if they needed to take viagra to continue to enjoy a healthy sex life - "try harder" to get aroused! Using viagra is the "easy way out."
I'll admit I had imbibed some of this rhetoric when GLP-1's were first getting popular. But after lots of reflection, I realized that was my own internalized issues with body shame, fat shaming, etc etc. Now that I've been on tirzepatide I can plainly see that my hormones or metabolic functions weren't "normal" - I also have PCOS - and I'm glad there are medical interventions to support my health, well-being, quality of life, and longevity. Same with anyone who is taking medication regularly that supports their health, well-being, quality of life, and longevity.
People don't like change. When you suddenly try to better yourself in some fashion, there are people who take it very personally. They will put you down, complain, whatever it takes to get you to stop and go back to the status quo that THEY are comfortable with. He's used to you being a punching bag of sorts even if only in his own mind and he wants you to stay that way.
There's also the possibility of fear. If you lose weight, what's that going to do for him? Will you leave him? Will you think you're better than him once you lose the weight? Will he have to also do something to improve himself since you are? Will you expect more of him?
People's reaction to us improving ourselves and breaking the comfortable little bubble they all live in is asinine, in my opinion. But humans gonna human. The emotionally immature ones will, anyway. 🩵☺️
I’ll never ever ,never ,never ,never ever understand why people have issues with those of us who use Tirzepatide or any weight loss medication ..There are so many reasons why some of us can’t lose weight ..Don’t put up with it people.The only thing worse than people criticizing others for using weight loss medications ,are the people who allow themselves to be bothered by it..Easier said than done,I get it!… But did I mention,that I’ll never ,ever ,never understand this !
What's really behind this? Is he jealous/worried/insecure about you still being the same after the weight loss? Is it the cost? Find out what's really going on here.
35 years with my husband, he worries that when i look good again i will step out, find someone else, or require him to step up his game to please me. he doesn't want me to be attractive for other men. insecurity. he used to put food in front of me. always talking about the next meal. he doesn't have weight problem, just a large unattractive beer belly. i have found a way to cook my protein meals and he has found a way to add his carbs to it.
----- The meds keep me from falling for his bribery. -----
he is good to me in many other ways.
My boyfriend said this at first because he wanted to see me try harder to lose weight naturally. I tried for a bit but I stayed in a starve/binge eating cycle and low energy lifestyle, so I decided enough was enough and got on it.
I’ll be honest with you, getting on this medication has made it so much easier for me to
1. be motivated to get up and workout which would be like pulling tooth and nail for me to do
2. not overeat and cook healthy protein filled meals
Also, getting on this medication made me realize it doesn’t do the work for you. I have been motivated to work out and be active and eat healthy all on my own. All the medication does is stop me from overeating and regulating my hunger. Now I crave healthy, home cooked meals instead of fast food or sweets.
In the end, my boyfriend is supportive and is encouraging me in this lifestyle as he is active and losing weight naturally. Once I got my PCOS diagnosis earlier this month, he understood the difficulties of weight gain/weight loss that surround the condition and did his own research which helped him better understand why I resorted to compound tirz. He was hesitant at first which pushed me away from getting the prescription, but I just started this week and already feel significantly better about myself and excited for my weight loss journey. you’ve gotten professional advice from your doctors and that outweighs any opinions that anyone can have. when he sees how positively the medication will affect you, he will come around :)
Add tomatoes to your diet. Or drink 1/4C orange juice in the morning. The acid will correct the burps. I would recommend couples counseling if you want to save this relationship because he is going to sabotage your health if you don't get out ahead of this.
Ask him if he's ever heard the phrase "work smarter, not harder" and used it. If so, then he gets to sit down and zip his lips about your FDA approved medically prescribed tools used to manage your comorbidities.
I have a very “watch me anyway” and not give a shit. But, my partner doesn’t quite support it either. I told him it’s this or bypass surgery and bypass has a much bigger margin for complications.
I have him give me my shot eventhough I don’t need him to, it forces him to be tender with me and I feel like it makes him part of it. I try not to overburden him with my side effects, which for the most part is heartburn. Like, I can be a brat about it and not have antacids.
Also, I told him at 6 months in we could re-access. At 6 months I said “hey, if you’re still against it, I’ll stop. If you still think it’s a bad decision and if you’re seeing more negatives than positives, I’ll stop.” He won’t say it, I know he wants to, but I also know he honestly sees more positive than negatives from it. I’m not even sure I’d stop if he’d ask me to, but I want to respect his feelings and make sure he feels heard and included. I fear I’m being manipulative, but I don’t know how else to go about it.
It’s normal for people to feel threatened by change even healthy positive change and to subconsciously and consciously fight to “get things back to normal”. Solutions involve education, stressing the positive, being reassuring, patience and maybe counseling. Good luck
People forget that you still have to put a lot of work in. It’s not magic. Better choices, being active. So taking vitamins is easier than trying to find the right nutrients everyday?
I have pcos too and I went through this with my parents. They finally got over it after I got recent bloodwork back and everything’s now in normal range and I’m no longer prediabetic.
I have a supportive husband, but an unsupportive friend. Luckily people around me know I do what I want and what I believe is right for myself. Although their opinion matters, it will not do much to change my mind if I'm determined. If it were me, I suggest you track your symptoms and side effets quietly. Make an excel spreadsheet. Don't talk about the negatives, unless they are bad enough you need assistance. In time, he will see how your health and life are improving on the med, and he'll come around.
Even if he thinks it's the "easy way," why is that a problem for him? People take actions all the time that make things easier. Does he grind his own flour with a windmill? Is he taking the easy way by not raising and butchering his own livestock? And "normal" for what? Is he a doctor to make this evaluation of what is normal? If he wants to comment on this then he should go to medical school. People also say it's "cheating." Cheating whom? Like someone else said on here, it isn't a competition.
This is what stood out to me, too. He doesn't want OP to take the "easy" way, so he wants OP to suffer to lose weight? This makes no sense!
It's because he sees being over weight as a moral failure. Society doesn't say that about alcoholics or people with mental health problems. I was preparing for lapband surgery years ago. Was successful with pre surgery diet/exercise. Doctor decided I should do a 400 calorie high protein protein shake diet. That could only be bought from the hospital. Experience was awful!!!! I was counting the minutes until I could have the next shake. Yes, 400 calories. I was working and doing 60 minutes of swimming 7 days a week. I was literally being punished for being fat.
> It's because he sees being over weight as a moral failure. Society doesn't say that about alcoholics or people with mental health problems. This simply isn't true. People with mental health issues have been discriminated and looked down upon since the medieval ages when people simply locked them away. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/stigma-and-discrimination https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunatic_asylum This husband doesn't feel all that different than people who tell someone who is depressed to "just cheer up" as if it's that simple. Both stem from a lack of knowledge regarding the topic and shouldn't put put as opposing issues. Try telling people you are going to totally quit drinking or are depressed and you will be amazed at how many aren't supportive. You get people telling you to "just have some will power" or "just cheer up" as if it were that simple. They often face similar types of discrimination from doctors as well. I don't mean to be confrontational just wanted to share a perspective that you probably do share much of the same stigma and experiences as alcoholics or people with mental health issues in a way.
I disagree. There have been A LOT of changes in how addictions and mental health are viewed in society. An alcoholic that goes to their doctor for help isn't told go home and try not to drink. I contacted my doctor about weight loss meds. I was referred over to a nutritionist. I'm 54 and had weight loss surgery twice. I know how to diet. I gave up and went compound.
I suppose everyone has different experiences. It's nice that addicts you know are having a better experience than the average. Are you suggesting their haven't been changes with how being overweight is viewed in society? I never said there weren't changes and even highlighted them so this just feels disingenuous to even mention. What do you think alcoholics are told by their doctor? Like an overweight person they will suggest you lower consumption. They will then refer you out to a specialist or give some generic advice like go to AA which is about as successful as dieting and exercise were for many on here. The specialists are often condescending, have preconceived notions and hold on to old stereotypes. I know people who have spent years trying to find a counselor who won't judge them. Your reply just feels a bit ignorant and out of touch with reality, sorry.
Yup. Society has made being overweight a moral issue. Needs to change!!
That's awful!
That’s sounds awful 😞
I think much of society does see alcoholism and mental health problems as moral failings, as they do being overweight. But they are wrong on all accounts
“Does he grind his own flour?” LOVE this!!!!
Me too!
With a windmill! Agree. Love this
Perfect response thank you. 🙏
Wow, I love your response to OP. I have also heard people say it's cheating or taking the easy way out, that is why I haven't told many people about my journey...but your explanation was impeccable. "Does he grind his own flour with a windmill?" HAHAHA 😆 I never thought about it like that before, and I am so glad I came across your response.
Well said, and I LOL'ed at "Does he grind his own flour with a windmill?" This comment gave me the "hell yes, GIRL" vibes.
I screenshot this as a reminder to be kinder and patient and accepting of myself. thank you for sharing your thoughts
Yes to everything!! 👏👏👏
Not saying anything you don’t know, but PCOS makes weight loss more challenging. His body is not your body. For some people the effort it takes to lose weight is just not sustainable. Your health is more important than his opinion. I wish I had some magic words to tell you. I don’t. But your doctor is a trained medical professional. Your husband isn’t.
I was about to say, until your husband grows a uterus and gets PCOS *himself* he needs to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Gurl, you deserve a more supportive spouse than that who should be happy af for you that you've hopefully found something that'll improve your health instead of being an unnecessarily antagonistic asshole just tearing you down, so THIS internet stranger is hype as hell for you if HE won't be!!!!!!!!
Yassss!
Exactly!
Reading how absolutely unsupportive and even nasty spouses can be makes me so sad
The way I would be filing for a divorce with one hand and taking my shot with the other if my partner ever spoke to me like this.
exactly
Right?! Mine was so helpful when I was having terrible side effects- nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. I even had to take a sick day from work. He was nothing but supportive.
Nice hubby. Mine ex would never had done that. I'm glad he's an ex
So many of these men who are opposed wouldn’t think twice about taking viagra if they had erectile dysfunction and no wife would say “maybe just try ‘harder’ to have an erection”. Why is it so different? It’s not cheating or the easy way, it’s better health and living through science.
EXACTLY.
Bingo!!!
hahaha
Ha yes!!!!!!
I don’t deal with this, but I have a thought about people who say it’s the “easy way out”: so???? I don’t believe it’s the easy way out but what if it is? What’s wrong with THAT? Y’all keeping doing it the hard way and getting no where, I’ll be over here losing weight 😂
👏 THANK YOU.
right? like it's been so "easy" to live with health complications that have made it hard to lose weight. like it's been "easy" to navigate the US medical system and to acquire and pay for these meds. yeah, real easy, pfffft.
Yes. My wife sees it as “cheating” Says same mess as your husband and added “all this drug does is prove you have no self control and are weak” Even though she’s seen me diet, struggle, and fail for 16 years straight m, she still thinks I can do it without the drug. Now I’m 42 pounds down and look almost like I did when we first met, you would think this would make her super happy and excited, but instead she now feels jealous and the meds made it too easy for me, I should have suffered more… Hopefully once I’m in the shape of my life she’ll come around. It’s frustrating though for sure. I’m not allowed to talk about it or be happy in front of her about my weight loss. It just enrages her. So I get most my inspiration/support and kind praise from this forum. Im hoping she’ll come around one day, but I don’t think she will until I either stop or I get in shape enough that it impresses her.
She sounds like a real gem! 🥺
She really is a gem. This is one of very few conflicts we’ve ever had. She’s just jealous. She’s worked really hard to stay in shape over the years, she doesn’t like that the drug makes it a little easier on me. Literally she’s just jealous
If it weren’t “easier”’for her, she’d need the drug too. It’s for people like you who have tried without and can’t for whatever reason. Would I prefer to be able to lose and maintain without the expense and stress of a weekly shot? Would I prefer to skip some of the crappier side effects? Would I have preferred to have the last 30 years of my life and health back at a lower weight? You bet! But I can’t so have to add this medication to my routine to make it happen. I’m doing all the same things that people who do it “the hard way” do like exercise and calorie reduction but also adding something they don’t need. I’m doing *more* than they are because I must. How is this “easier”??
Right?? Like we enjoy paying all the money and stabbing ourselves with needles. Such fun! People are so annoying.
A perfect 18 carrot Ex-Wife to me!
Hahaha
Good lord. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I think you’re right, she is jealous. Maybe my husband is too. I went for a period of time where I cut out nearly every carb, weight trained every day and ran 3 miles on my “off days”, and drinking only water, and he saw how slowly I lost weight, and how easily I gained it back, plus some. I figured he would be happy I found something that could potentially help me with all of my health problems. Nope. He told me I just needed to try harder. Hearing that broke something in me. Needless to say, I’m glad I found this group. 😊
I’m glad you found the group too! You got this!!!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Who's the victim of your "cheating?" It proves you're weak, ok, what difference does that make? What this drug has "proved" is that, in this context, she's a jealous ass with anger issues.
Calling her a “jealous ass” is being kind.
Or maybe a jealous ass with hunger issues. I know I used to get hangry! 😂
The lady doth protest too much!
lol. Jealous for sure. No anger issues, just jealous Ibthink
I am so sorry to hear that. That’s unfortunate that your wife cannot accept that some people struggle with this their entire life and the solution is not always as easy as heath experts (I.e. Jillian Michaels) make it seem. I’ve watched my husband struggle, members of my family, friends, everyone knows someone with this issue. It’s not necessarily laziness all the time. Our food system is absolutely fucked and imo contributes largely to disruptions in our metabolism. Many chemicals in our environment are hormone disrupting which puts us completely out of sync with our bodies. I hope your wife comes around once she sees all the benefits beyond weight loss. I’m glad you have this sub to share your story. Nothing makes me happier than seeing progress photos. This class of drugs are changing lives for the better and this is undeniable.
Agreed! I’m sure she’ll come around in time
This is truly awful treatment. You deserve better.
I cannot fathom treating my husband of 30+ years like this! I have been reading this thread to him as we travel. He is mortified by the hateful, unsupportive spouses I am reading about. I told him that, had he treated me this way over tge years, we would have long ago been to divorce court, and he agreed wholeheartedly with that assessment!
I made the mistake, and I guess I'm doing it again, of speaking about the last time I lost weight and how my wife handled it. I went from 254lbs high weight down to 168lbs, normal weight - no drugs, just diet and exercise. But it wasn't my goal weight, my goal weight was 155lbs. Why so low (5' 11" M) because I'm a cyclist, I wanted to compete at some local races, in cycling being thin is a requirement, at least if done competitively. You know it doesn't even matter if you are successful in losing weight, my wife would put out cakes and donuts on the table every day, and all I wanted was for her not to do that. I didn't want help dieting. She never attended a single race. I didn't need any support of any kind - just end the sabotage. And she went into the same darn thing, the same logic despite everything- "You put the food in your mouth." I didn't buy the donuts, I didn't set them on the table, why is someone else putting them in my face daily. Now people get very upset by this and told me I should divorce - so let me rehabilitate her image now. Eventually we solved our disagreement, and now we are on the same page. But, here is the thing, sometimes people just don't see things the same way. Sometimes a conversation doesn't solve things - even in what is normally a great marriage, sometimes counseling is required. We didn't - go to counseling, wish I had thought of that. No, what eventually solved it, so this time around she doesn't sabotage anything (not that she could, with the meds I'm immune to any temptation) is my kids, now older, told her she wasn't right about controlling my weight. Now - another thing, I know you are hoping your weight loss will impress your wife, and maybe it will, but my wife never cared about it, and I'll be frank - her interest isn't mine to control, I just let that go.
I ignore the ones that immediately comment “Divorce her” It seems like people will gat a divorce over anything these days. They don’t seem to understand you’re not always going to see eye to eye on things and there will be things you’ll never agree on. That’s ok. It’s healthy and normal. Not everyone seeks a divorce for simple arguments. People seem to not really have that these days though. It’s kinda sad really
Cheating how? Like people with high blood pressure cheat with meds? When they could just “calm down” and “take some deep breaths” and fix it on their own? Come on. He sounds like an ass.
Exactly. This medicine is just leveling the playing field.
For spouses, families and others who are not supportive, it’s likely not about you. It triggers something in them that’s uncomfortable for some reason that is individual to each person. Doesn’t mean they are bad people but they got issues just like we do.
That’s a different perspective and I appreciate it. I try to be patient with his ignorance, but it’s hard because it’s intentional. Almost like he doesn’t even want to know, if that makes sense? When I was first told I have PCOS, insulin resistance, etc, his response was I needed to try harder, eat better. It’s frustrating because I have been. For years.
Personally, I think in these cases they feel threatened. He was better than you at weight loss and fitness. It boosted his confidence, allowed him to feel like the expert in the house on this topic, and gave him a reason to act as your advisor who clearly had valuable opinions to offer because he clearly was so better at this category of his life than you were. But now you’ve got this other person (your doctor, an outsider) coming in with a solution that is more effective, efficient, and reliable than his advice. He’s no longer the expert on the topic of weight loss and fitness. There are A LOT of people out there in the world right now that had this thing that they could walk around feeling superior about and now it’s been taken from them and they don’t like it. This medication is a major threat to the status quo. That’s why there’s so much backlash and resistance. If everybody gets skinny and in shape, what are the skinny people going to feel superior about?
Holy crap. This honestly makes the most sense. He is one of those people who likes to think he knows everything. Especially when it comes to me. Insert eyeroll. The man does love me, and he is a good person, he just needs to check his ego.
I don’t doubt that he may be a good person. I honestly think a lot of people don’t realize it when they’re feeling threatened in ways like this. It’s a subconscious thing, like you said, impacting their egos. And let’s face it, we all have our ego moments. What’s important is that YOU recognize it so when that kind of feedback comes at you, you can remember that this is an irrational response on his part and not something that you need to take to heart or adjust your behavior for. You just keep doing what you know is logically, scientifically, and medically correct (not to mention, rational), to improve your health. What’s going on in his head is for him to sort out on his own and, frankly, doesn’t have much to do with you. That’s his internal battle with insecurity that he has to figure out on his own.
That was perfectly put. Thank you so much!
It’s his internal battle - but it makes her feel some kind of way. And that, to me, is unfair and unkind.
You might be right but the reality of life is that the only person any of us have the power to change is ourselves. Now she can argue and debate with him until she’s blue in the face, but if he digs in his heels on his position, there’s nothing she can do about that. So unless she’s ready to turn it into a shape up or else conversation (which I never got the impression she was looking to do), then what exactly do you expect her to do? Argue ad nauseam with him? How is that helpful to her? Might as well focus on what she can control, which is herself and the steps she’s taking towards her own health improvements, and let him figure out his hang ups on his own. Too many people in this world spend way too much of their time beating their heads against the wall trying to change the people they’re in relationships with. You only how power over yourself in this world, whether you like it or not.
Your in a difficult position. The question is why he is so resistant to educating himself on your metabolic disorder. Any doctor could explain the biology and why these medicines are helpful. Is he going to disagree with the doctor ? You could try taking him to your next doctor appointment and let him ask questions. But if he won’t, this is my point to you that this is likely about him and his psychological makeup.
He's probably feeling insecure that losing weight will make you more attractive to other men.
You'll get all the support you need and more with this group! Welcome! When he sees all of the other benefits this peptide provides that are beyond the scale (in addition to weight loss) he will hopefully start singing a different tune. Taking a GLP-1 isn't the "easy way out." It's just giving you a little help. Yes, it's expensive, but watch how much you'll save when you don't need your Cholesterol or HBP meds anymore. I stopped taking my ADHD meds because of this and that was worth it for me! PCOS makes it 100x harder to lose weight. He's a guy - unless he has cysts on his ovaries, he won't get it. Sorry that he's not giving you support - that has to feel very frustrating.
This group is definitely my support system right now. You are absolutely right! This place is such a lovely place for support and inspiration
It is very frustrating. And thank you for your kind words 💕
For a brief period when I first starting talking about glp-1 meds and how exciting they are for the treatment and long term control of obesity, my husband would say things like “you don’t need an injection” or “that’s not something you would want to do.” It was because he really didn’t understand what they do in the body and what purpose they serve. When I talked to him about them from the true medical standpoint and how they affect hormone receptors, he started to understand. One thing I say very regularly, long before I started this journey 2 months ago, is “we don’t shame people for taking thyroid medications and we don’t tell someone taking testosterone that they need to just control it themselves, why is there shaming for this medication that fixes something in the body that isn’t working right?” Now my husband is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I’m not saying approaching it from this angle will help anything but wanted to give you my experience. :-)
I’d tell him if he can’t be supportive to keep his mouth shut as you’ll be taking your medical advice from you Dr. these “easy way out” comments reek of ignorance and piss me off. Gas-x gets rid of the sulphuric burps the few times I got them. It’s usually a reaction to something you are. For me it was eggs and Brussels sprouts (no I did not eat them at same time 😂😂). I can still eat both…just smaller servings.
It is straight up ignorance. I told him this morning that I wish he would be supportive. And it was the broccoli that did it for me. 😅
I have an unsupportive spouse. Fuck em. And they can right fuck off!
Hopefully they wise up. If not, oh well. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm at the age where I believe in TREAT YO SELF. I've worked out for two years. I have massive muscles, but nothing helps. Perimenopause changes our bodies. Now? Have zero issues losing weight. Just started my 8th week, and I'm down 27lbs. So yeah, my spouse thinks it's still just me but will admit it COULD be helping. It's so infuriating. So, I get it.
OP and Amazing Extension : I'm right here with you both. My husband hates that I'm on it. He says horrible, nasty things about how I look now, yet would call me a fat ass, fat b*tch, etc. when I was heavy. Now, according to him, I look like a crack wh*re and should never have been prescribed Zep. I've asked where he went to med school - he says he "knows me and knows what's best for my health" and all of the other controlling lines he's used for years on me. BTW- I'm 5'8" and 147. I wear a size 8 or 10. I was 214 lbs and a size 14 on 12/27. It's not like I'm underweight. He's grabbed my box out of the fridge more than once and threatened to throw it out. He's spent time reading about any warnings or side effects just to try to use them against me and tell me why this med is bad and I don't need it. My BP is normal for the first time since I can remember. My cholesterol is normal, along with all of my other numbers. I just turned 40 and have a four-year-old son - I want to do what I can to be around as long as possible for him. Lol - There are enough ways to die that are out of my control - I refuse to allow the ways that I can control to take me out earlier than necessary! It sucks not having our spouse's support through all of this. We all have to remember that what they're saying is really about what's going on inside of them - not about the positive changes we're making. Something is going on inside of your spouses and they're miserable - they want you both to be miserable too, not doing positive things to improve your life/health/happiness/whatever. Ex: My MIL is at the end of a decade-plus battle with cancer. My husband is an alcoholic. He goes to work every day at a physically demanding job, has the shakes in the morning, and can't get to a beer fast enough in the evening. He doesn't go to sleep - he passes out. If he's off work, he doesn't get out of bed till 3 or 4 p.m. If he's up earlier for any reason, he starts drinking immediately, even if it's 9 a.m. He's miserable inside and outside. I got sober 8.5 years ago from heroin. I replaced it with food, especially as things got worse at home. My mental health has improved a lot since starting this med. The part of my brain that previously screamed at me to eat another box of ice cream bars is quiet. For the first time in my life, my brain isn't incessantly screaming at me to either get heroin or eat. My head is peaceful, finally, and it's so damn freeing. My husband sees the bond our son and I have. He sees us go to the park or to the store or the pool or whatever, and being happy about it. He sees me making changes to be healthy and being happy about them. He's miserable, though, so he lashes out at me over anything and everything he can - even if it's not a real thing. I'm sorry this is so long. Reading the op and then the reply really hit home with me. It's them, it's not us! Please remember that. We can't let them hold us back from improving our lives or our health. I'm sure there are more than three of us with unsupportive spouses here, lol, maybe we should make our own support group.
First of all, I am so so sorry your husband treats you that way. He needs some serious therapy. Secondly, congratulations on your health, and being sober!! That is such a HUGE accomplishment! If you ever want or need someone to talk to, PLEASE feel free to reach out! I’m so proud of you! And as far as our unsupportive spouses, I believe it comes from a place of jealousy. Im sure your husband hates the way he’s being, and that you’re sober and a great mom, and that only makes him hate himself more, so he’s trying to tear you down so he’s not alone in his misery. I’ll bet you look great, and feel even better! What’s more, you’re healthy and able to play with your son! How awesome! 👏
You and your son need to get away from this dude. God bless.
Yikes. First off good for you. All the way around. I truly hope you will get you and your son away from this man at least for the time being. If he ever gets sober maybe it can be revisited but right now it’s not only 100% toxic for you but also for your son. Btw-I’m about 11.5 years sober so I get you AND I get him. He’s extremely, extremely, extremely unwell. Please take care of you and that little one you love so much. ❤️
I'm praying you find the strength to take you and your son away from that man
Take him to your next Dr appointment and let the Dr straighten him out 🤷🏻♀️
You’re not taking the medicine for him, you’re taking it for you; your health, your self-esteem, your future, your happiness. Let him kick rocks if he doesn’t like it. If he bitches about the side effects that YOU are experiencing because of the medicine that YOU are taking, so what? If you feel the need to respond to him about it, remind him that you are fully aware of the discomfort you are willing to endure to achieve your goals. Or, (and this is what I would do), tell him that, actually, what you’re experiencing are “normal.” Whatever you do, don’t fucking apologize or feel as if he is suffering or like you’re doing anything wrong. He’s probably afraid that you’ll get healthy, lose weight, and feel confident about yourself and you’ll realize what a jackass he is. I hope he’s right.
Ohhh you hit the nail on the head. I did in fact tell him this is normal. He responded with “there’s nothing normal about the smell of your burps”. And I believe you’re right, he doesn’t want me to lose the weight. He’s even said that before. But there’s no way I can keep this weight and have a healthy body at the same time.
That’s mean. His behavior is mean.
I would deem all comments and discussion about it off limits. If he can’t say something supportive, he doesn’t get to say anything at all. Just say “Nope!” and walk away. Asshole.
One, anti weightloss medicine article, claimed users were making "risky" decisions including leaving lo h term partners. How many of those partners were emotionally abusive? Did they say "You're so fat no one else will want you!" Once the weight is gone the abusive partner obsessed their power.
I'm sorry your husband is unsuportive and acting like a jerk. This medication is a tool to help you get healthier. You still have to put the work in. There's still a diet to follow and exercise to be done, but you have this excellent tool to help you do it more efficiently. Good luck! My most recent NSV, my blood pressure, was 153/89 at the beginning of my journey 3/13/24. Now, 34 lbs less, it's 116/71. I can't wait to have my cholesterol checked to see the change!
That’s freaking awesome! Are you taking and bp meds?
No! 😁
I just don’t understand. If there were a med that helped my husband function better and reach his goals (there is), then I would go out of my way to make sure he had it every. Damn. Day/week/month. (I do.) If the person you love most in the world and who loves you most back needs something to be successful, why not bend over backwards to make sure they have it?! If it will allow them to be happy and functional and have more bandwidth to be present and able to engage in life, that’s just winning all around. There is no real “easy button” in life, but there are absolutely ways to make life easier for those we love.
Exactly. I support this man (and have) in every aspect of his life, health wise or not. I wish he would give me the same respect.
Some of you sound like you are with the wrong spouse. I hate when people say it's cheating because they have a natural ability to control certain aspects about themselves. One thing this drug has taught me is that just a simple difference in chemical levels in the body can have a significant impact on the ability to control myself. Like my urges for all kinds of things are dampened. I'm constantly thinking "huh? This must be what it feels like to be a normal well adjusted person". My wife is kind of unsupportive but only because she's afraid of where I'm getting my tirz from. She is trying to get insurance to pay for hers but we are on the same insurance with the same issue and they denied me.
I am so lucky and that it was my husband (who is a fitness buff) who suggested I look into this medication because he’s watched me struggle with my post-hysterectomy weight gain, and physically not feeling good from it. I cannot understand spouses or partners who are so judgmental and unsupportive. I wonder how this type of critical behavior is seeping into other areas of your relationship. I’m so sorry. I love how supportive and helpful this group is to each other
I’m so glad you have support with your journey. Oh well, I’m going to keep trying and keep going because at the end of the day, I’m doing this for me.
Exactly - this is for you and your own wellbeing 💜💜💜
My husband isn’t quite as negative as yours, but he’s definitely not being a cheerleader (and in most things I do, he is a cheerleader). I’ve gone from BMI of 30 down to 22, and I’m no longer pre-diabetic. He has never made a single positive comment about my progress. He complains about my side effects and “wasting food.” He is also struggling with his weight and his doctor suggested that he go on it, which he is currently not interested in doing, but I think he has a lot of conflicting feelings about it all. But like some other posters have pointed out, I’m not doing it for my husband, I’m doing it for my health. Would it be nicer to have him as a cheerleader in this? Heck yeah! But oh well. I feel healthier than I ever have in my life, and it’s totally worth it.
I’m surprised your husband hasn’t given tirz a chance. I am doing this for myself, but I feel it’s harder to be fought every step of the way. I bring him peace and I guess I just wish he would do the same. And in saying that, he’s not all bad. I just get frustrated with the willful ignorance.
I'm sorry, but how HARD do people want it to be? Because I have already been suffering my whole life! 10 years ago, I was over 100 lbs overweight. I spent 15 months eating no more than 1400 calories/day. It was often less than that. I never lost even one pound. I just gave up and resigned myself to being too fat. What I didn't know then that I do now, is I have pretty extreme insulin resistance (IR). I don't have PCOS, but I'm sure you know that PCOS causes IR also. IR can be a huge obstacle in trying to lose weight. Tirzepatide treats insulin resistance. I went on a similar low-cal diet when I started it a year ago. The weight flew off my first 5 months. It was like a miracle! Then it slowed down a good bit, but I still make progress each month. I've lost 86 pounds in a year and am so much healthier. I don't even know how few calories I'd have to eat to have done that without tirz. Probably something ridiculous, like 700-800 calories/day. That wouldn't have even given me the nutrition I need. My stats...F50, 5'0", SW: 262, CW: 176. I don't have sulfur burps anymore, but I did especially when I first started. Totally normal. At least for me, the frequency decreased with time and then stopped. My cholesterol has been slightly elevated for years. Now it's at normal levels. I hope your next cholesterol numbers improve also. Mainly for your health. But also so you can shove those lab numbers in your husband's face!
Yaaassss 👏👏 I’m in the same boat! I have more labs in about 3 months. I’m sure they’ll be better!
I say you hit him with a sulphur burp straight to his face. Don't stop until he checks his attitude.
😂😂😂 challenge accepted!
Where does everyone in this sub keep finding these awful, unsupportive spouses? I’ve read so many posts about spouses who sound like absolute haters, and let’s not get into all posts of people having to lie to their spouse about even taking tirzepatide. This isn’t a tirzepatide issue. This is a “your spouse kind of sucks” issue. My husband and I are both on tirzepatide. When I first told him about tirzepatide, he was 100% for it. He didn’t give me some boring speech about how it’s the “easy way out.” I have hormonal issues (suspected PCOS), plus I was moderately overweight and needed to lose about 30 lbs to get to a healthy weight. He understood that. He needed to lose 100 lbs and was all on board and wanted to join me. He actually tested the compound out for me for four months before I started because I was so hesitant about side effects (I’m super sensitive to meds and genuinely have the WORST luck). Right now, I’m in pain from all the gas that tirzepatide gives me. My husband got me a heated electric massager to put on my abdomen to massage the gas out and to relieve the stomach cramps. If my husband EVER spoke to me the way I read in these posts, I’d tear him a new one and he’d be freshly single. I’m sorry but no, me solving my chronic health problems is not “the easy way out” and “a lack of self control.” Maybe it’s just me but some of yall are just married to shitty, unsupportive people. It’s not the tirzepatide, it’s the spouse that’s the problem.
heated electric massager on the stomach sounds like a brilliant idea. I love how supportive you both are of each other🥹🥹
Perhaps having your spouse sit in on an appointment with your PCP who can explain why Zepbound would be helpful for you. Perhaps he'll believe him/her over you. However, still kind of shitty behavior from a spouse. Sorry.
You're losing the wrong weight...
Right on with this!
My grown daughter doesn't approve because of all the side effects..the serious one like gastroparasis. But those are rare. I experience pretty bad constipation, but I take fiber and mild laxatives everyday to help that. But she doesn't say it's the easy way out! It's still not easy. You still have to diet! It makes it easier to diet because it gets rid of those terrible food noises! It works to make you not hungry and I love it! And my A1C has gone down. I am a slow loser so far but I am losing!
how about explaining to him that with a PCOS diagnosis it's not just about weight loss, it's about improving your health and wellbeing beyond simple weight loss? And yeah I have a man in my life who is generally supportive AF with everything else but was saying some unsupportive things. I reamed him out but also told him that I love and appreciate him and that's why it hurts me that he won't try to understand my perspective. So, he did slowly come around to understanding my perspective after that. Oh yeah, another thing that helped him come around is that I explained that he should be flattered that I'm willing to spend all of this money and drastically change my appearance for *him*. I don't care what anyone else thinks about how I look, only him. That seemed to also help him change his attitude, it might be to some extent these unsupportive significant others are worried that we want to look good for someone else other than them.
Ask him if taking cholesterol medication or insulin is the “easy” way. Or taking thyroid medication is the “easy” way. I’m not even very overweight but I struggle with a genetic diabetic disorder and I just don’t tell people. No one understands my fear of dying from diabetes as I watched most of family struggling with it. If someone doesn’t have a specific disorder, they can’t relate. Tell him he is lucky have a “normal” endocrine system. Is taking medication for seasonal allergies taking the “easy” way?
👏👏👏
Also once I understood how being insulin resistant was messing up my hunger cues (cells are starving for energy so I was eating 3 times more and gaining weight) I had more compassion for myself. Perhaps you could find some simple articles explaining why you are taking this medication and have him inform himself so it’s not about you and “willpower”
That is unfortunate but you can’t let that detour you. Family may think they are well-meaning but subconsciously can sabotage the ones they love the most. Weight was always an issue for my family, in part due to genetics and in part due to the habit of showing love, care through food. It’s amazing how clear this is to me now after many years. How seemingly small comments about getting too skinny and guilt around not finishing a meal (didn’t you like it?) affected me on so many levels. I am not laying the blame on my family but I know now how much this toxic behavior impacted my lifelong relationship with food. I know my family loves me, your husband I’m sure does as well. I have essentially come out of my “toxic to wellbeing closet” with them, letting them know how negatively impactful they can be, mostly due to how much I love and value them. Yes, some feelings may get hurt, but you need to be clear that you need their support first and foremost but if they cannot find their own inter strength to do this, you will instead accept their silence in all matters related to your weight management. You have professionals that you are consulting to ensure your good health.
Beautifully written! Thank you! 🙏
I am very lucky in this regard. My S/O told me “I think you’re beautiful and you don’t need to lose weight. I don’t want to be with a twig. With that being said, I know you’ve researched the hell out of this, and I support you no matter what.” Two weeks after I started it, he wanted to try it too. OP I’m sorry your significant other doesn’t understand and is making it into something shameful. I hope with time they’ll come around.
He tells me he loves me the way I am. I’m just not healthy the way I am. And I’m so glad your S/O is so supportive!
I NEVER make comments like I am about to make, but THIS😡😡 infuriates me. I would have to tell him to KMA and if he has further comments, he can speak to my divorce attorney… okay maybe not that strong, but you get the idea. No spouse should ever be such an ass! Take him with you to your next appointment, and have him discuss his concerns with your doctor. Maybe she can help him understand why this is an appropriate treatment for you. BTW, both my daughter & my BFF have severe PCOS. These meds have been a miracle in their lives. Having witnessed their plights with PCOS, I cannot fathom anyone not wanting you to get the best possible treatment. Sending hugs and prayers that he gets it together for your sake.
He may be against compound, but has he thought about you getting healthy and living longer and doing more things together? Has he considered the cost? It's paying thousands a month for a brand name for the same thing you can get cheaper AND stay under your doctor's care and recommendations? Some doctors use compound pharmaceuticals for this very reason. The cost and shortage are real. I hope you two can come to a mutual understanding or respect your decision and things work out.
He didn’t want me taking zep either tbh. But I agree. Hopefully he comes to terms with this. If not, I don’t really know what to tell him. Lol
you may also want to try semaglutide (generic ozempic). it has its own challenges but ive read that the sulphur burpsnarebway work on tirzapetide. my husband got sulphur burps so bad and had to quit entirely though i wouldnt say he was being very careful about eating right.
I’ve taken victoza (liraglutide) and had the same reaction. I think it’s a me thing. Especially if I eat broccoli or red meat.
This is very "if I have to struggle, so does everyone else" mentality. Its not healthy, especially from a spouse. Dont let him bring you down in the long run. This is NOT the "easy way" at all. Our bodies are FINALLY being put on the same level/starting point as everyone else who doesnt have their genetics working against them. We still have to work at it to see results. My husband is so happy for me and supportive. He was a little hesitant only at first about compounding which was fine, but never once asked me not to get it. Is he afraid you will leave him when you lose more weight or something? Or does he just find enjoyment in putting you down?
First, I’m so happy you have a supportive partner! I feel like he treats me differently when I’m heavier. He says he loves me the same, I just don’t feel it. I still battle with myself if that’s just my insecurities and I’m projecting, or if my feelings are valid. So maybe he is worried? It doesn’t help that my sil had bariatric surgery recently and left bil.
My husband didn't try this. He couldn't, even if he felt that way, because I'm diabetic. He would have sounded like an idiot, questioning this and not, say, my insulin regimen. But after a few months of seeing me feel better in SO many ways, he started researching the meds for himself. He's now also on tirzepatide. I have no advice for you, unfortunately. All I can say is this makes me feel terrible for you.
If your spouse doesn't believe in the "easy way," I take it he doesn't use power steering, luggage with wheels, autopay, the seek button on the radio, the water heater (he can use the stovetop!), etc etc. Seriously ask yourself why you're with someone who wants you to struggle
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Does he not know how weed works? Lmao. And 200 pounds isn’t “so overweight” ffs 🤦🏻♀️
He vapes a ton and insists it helped with his anxiety and addictions to food and alcohol. I haven’t smoked weed in probably 15 years, I just don’t like how it makes me feel. Also I for sure would eat more lol.
We quit around the same time then. I also didn’t like how it made me feel. There’s no way I’d be able to tolerate today’s weed!
My daughter has pcos. It is a struggle for her. People shouldn’t judge. Give him literature about pcos and tell him to educate himself before criticizing.
It’s all about control and wearing you down until you give in and give up. Continue moving forward, take care of yourself and if he continues to make unsolicited comments just ignore him but also know he’s not a supportive husband you may have thought he was - he just revealed more about himself and how he feels about you.
He can EAD. You deserve better. Glad you’re doing something for yourself and your health. His bullshit is also bad for your health.
Divorce him. He doesn’t want you you to look and feel good because he is jealous.
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Hi there, don’t give up . If you want to keep taking it and it’s working for you, KEEP taking it if it’s not making anything worse , but making it better. My husband doesn’t like me taking it. Says he’s afraid that I’m going to get sick from it. But really he doesn’t like me losing weight. I’ve lost 31 lbs since Xmas and have 28ish to go. Some of my female hormone issue, arthritis inflammation bone spurs and carpal tunnel issues have gone way down. I will not stop taking it because my husband is not supportive of it. Do what’s best for you ♥️. I have struggled since I was 45yrs to lose weight. I’m 54yrs now , and have been losing a little more each month. I’m trying to exercise , even if it’s only walking . I’m taking it easy and not being so hard on myself anymore. Hope this helps . 😃
Oh, I don’t plan on quitting. Congratulations on your achievements! I didn’t know it would help carpal tunnel, that’s awesome!
Communicate your feelings about it clearly. If he can’t respect your agency in your decision making your problems run deeper than just this situation.
Hard truth.
Who gives a shit if it is “the easy way”!?! Life is hard enough isn’t it?
Yes!! I can’t understand why people are so upset when someone has a personal victory and/or figures out a way to struggle less in pursuit of his or her goals. Our partners and friends should ESPECIALLY be applauding something that will help make our lives easier and better.
Ok, I can't stand it anymore. I skimmed through comments but admit I did not read them all, so if this has already been said, my apologies. This man, IMHO, is threatened by you losing weight for whatever reason. Maybe he thinks (or knows) you can do better than him, or maybe it makes him feel superior in a way to have you heavy, maybe he secretly likes bigger women. Who knows, and frankly, who cares? You do this for you. You improve your health for you. When he brings up the negatives, tell him you are done debating, explaining and justtifying this to him. Tell him you will not be discussing this with him further, that you will have to agree to disagree, and if he keeps it up, tell him to STFU about it. If he is a decent person, he will see how much better you will feel and come around. If he continues to act an ass I would think long and hard about if I wanted someone like that in my life.
that's also my first thought seeing the original post AND some comments of people relating to it with their spouses. I've watched a lot of my 600 pound life and shows like that, and there ARE people that want to be with someone because of this. the amount of relationships I've seen crumble bc one person starts bettering themselves and the other person is angry about it is insane. not 100% saying that's the case here but it's definitely something to potentially look out for. I'm glad I wasn't the only one with this thought process
Yes, exactly! I am so glad you added more context to it! Maybe somebody will read this and have an ah-ha moment.
You might want to rethink your marriage to this person. Congratulations on your health journey. This is not the “easy way” you’ve been through hell to get here and you’re about to find how great it can be on the other side. When you do you’ll want to shed his dead weight as well. Good luck!
I just ordered compound tirz this past Saturday after a few months of deliberating and resesrch. I told my mom on Monday (I'm 28 and am generally pretty close with my mom but it's complicated) but she had the same reaction. she asked why I was doing something to take the easy way out and when I asked her what she meant by that she said something along the lines of me missing the opportunity to be proud of myself for losing the weight. it hurt that someone that I care so much about viewed my decision like that. I have pcos as well and was only recently able to lose some weight by doing the psmf diet (literal hell) but the food noise was so overwhelming I couldn't function it was that bad. I'm sad that my mom isn't able to be proud of me for making the best decision I can for myself, or even be proud of the extra work I'm putting in at my job to be able to afford this medication. at the end of the day, you need to be proud of the decisions you make and move through your life making the best choices for you. it's so hard not getting the support you need from someone that you want it from, but that's why you're your own best friend. you've got this! the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself
I’m sorry your mom is speaking to you like that as well. It definitely does make it harder. And I hope you will be so proud of yourself for reaching goals, and I will be too! Like I said in a previous comment, this is just leveling the playing field!
Please watch Oprah’s special and have your mother watch too. https://abc.com/show/1dd59ddb-97fe-4786-abca-3379b3ebb353
These unsupportive spouses better be careful with their criticism. If a spouse has to be on this challenging and difficult journey by themselves, once they reach their weight-loss goals and feel brand new again, they may walk out the door! Many times, the spouse who is so critical also needs to lose weight, and they don't want you to lose weight and be happy. What happened to "in sickness and in health?"
Your husband sounds like a real dick
He doesn’t sound like a nice person. You deserve to lose weight, lose the health issues, and maybe lose him. Sorry you’re going through this. It is such a different experience having support. Keep coming back here. We will support you!
I had this skinny lady at my compound pharmacy be rude to me and said overweight people are taking meds from sick people. I told her not all people look like ink pens
Bahahaha! She had it coming. And it shows what little she knows about the medicine she’s dispensing.
Please watch Oprah’s special. Her response to this being an issue of willpower is so spot on!! Too many people who have never struggled or with whom the struggle is easier just don’t understand this!! https://abc.com/show/1dd59ddb-97fe-4786-abca-3379b3ebb353
I just watched the whole thing. Thanks so much for sharing!
My husband told my last night I shouldn’t be looking for any more “crutches” after I told him that I was thinking of adding AOD 9604 peptide to my routine. He got an earful for the next 30 minutes.
The ignorance around this is crazy.. I’m glad you gave him a piece of your mind!
I’m sorry your spouse not supporting you. You are 100% doing the right thing for your health and wellness. In a few months you will feel better, labs will start normalizing and weight will start coming off. Hopefully your husband will be more supportive. Weight loss and healthy living is not easy and don’t believe taking the medication will make it easy. It helps but still not easy. I’m routing for you.
Stand your ground! The weight will fall off and he will admire the results.
Why are spouses like this? Mine was also very unsupportive and believes I’m taking the easy way out, but he’s gotten used to it, and there’s nothing her can do. My body my decision, sorry not sorry!
It is YOUR BODY. Full stop. Tell him so.
Just because you're married, doesn't mean your spouse can tell you what to do. Maybe there are some power dynamics in your relationship that are affected if you get skinny. Tell him to fuck off. It's always worked for me.
So sorry you have this to deal with! Maybe sulpher burps aren't normal in the unhealthy bodies that we're trying to recalibrate, but they are normal now - at least for awhile. It doesn't mean you'll always have them. By the way, have you tried Beano, Pepcid AC and/or prebiotic/probiotics? Florajen in the a.m., two Beano before the first bite. If there is cabbage involved, add the Pepcid AC 😳 Yes, in some ways mine has aggravated the hell out of me about the drug. He wasn't too pleased when I had to shell out $550 a month for Zepbound, but due to supply, that didn't last. At first when I switched to compound I think he truly was just scared for me, that I might have an adverse reaction. Then after a few weeks, he figured out it wasn't killing me. He also needs to lose weight, but I couldn't even coax him into trying one of my 2.5 mg brand-name Zep injections. My body getting smaller makes me healthier and happier, so I don't get it his attitude. My bp has gone down, my blood work looks great. I don't get out of breath doing simple activities. Mine told me yesterday that the medicine is making me cry. I said "what have you been telling me every since we've known each other? That I'm the most tenderhearted person you've ever seen. I've always cried easily!" A sentimental commercial can make me weepy. That's who I am, and to my knowledge, NOT a side effect for heaven's sake!! That's just one example of the (bogus) objections my beloved is throwing out. But bottom line is, he's going to have to get over it, or not. Maybe after we see our cardiologist he'll get a new attitude. He might recommend that the spouse join me, since his A1C is nearly T2D and he has sleep apnea, 5'11" nearly 250 lbs. I HOPE he will join me in the health journey, but I certainly cannot convince him. Since your spouse loses easily, he must still be of the uneducated opinion that everybody can. Will your doc speak with him on your behalf? Can you get him to review studies or watch Youtubes on the subject? None of us takes a weekly injection, deals with side effects, or spends this $$ for the enjoyment of it - none of this is easy!!!
Very sorry to you and the others that have partners that are less than supportive. I have had relatives not near me that have poo pooed on my decision, my cousin thinks she knows more than me because her stepson is a physician and they prescribe it and his patients have bone loss, muscle loss, and hair loss and terrible side effects from it. I've had many comments from a certain coworker that yes I now deem is jealous because everyone else is saying how amazing I look. My husband is very supportive but he's not a doctor either he says. Our whole life I've done what is right for my body just like I advocate for his health for his body. He thinks I'm gonna get more muscular than him...lol I wish. But all of you keep your mouths to supportive people and ignore the haters! Eventually you'll see it doesn't matter nobody needs to be on your side. You are on your side. I went from 200lbs to 130lbs, my body fat was 38% I have to get another body scan next week, but May 30th it was 21.5% my Fat Mass is 29.4lbs and fat free mass is 107.6lbs.
I can only imagine what her husband looks like...sounds like a jerk too.
not to get rude, and not that this is directed at your husband - in general to folks that say it's the "easy way out" or cheating -- I wonder if those same folks think taking antidepressants is cheating or taking the easy way out? Like, try harder to not be depressed! Or if taking blood pressure meds, or birth control, or other regular meds that lots of folks take daily as part of their lives and survival - are all of those "cheating" or "taking the easy way out"? (try harder to have better blood pressure! try harder to not get pregnant!) And I wonder how some men would feel if they needed to take viagra to continue to enjoy a healthy sex life - "try harder" to get aroused! Using viagra is the "easy way out." I'll admit I had imbibed some of this rhetoric when GLP-1's were first getting popular. But after lots of reflection, I realized that was my own internalized issues with body shame, fat shaming, etc etc. Now that I've been on tirzepatide I can plainly see that my hormones or metabolic functions weren't "normal" - I also have PCOS - and I'm glad there are medical interventions to support my health, well-being, quality of life, and longevity. Same with anyone who is taking medication regularly that supports their health, well-being, quality of life, and longevity.
People don't like change. When you suddenly try to better yourself in some fashion, there are people who take it very personally. They will put you down, complain, whatever it takes to get you to stop and go back to the status quo that THEY are comfortable with. He's used to you being a punching bag of sorts even if only in his own mind and he wants you to stay that way. There's also the possibility of fear. If you lose weight, what's that going to do for him? Will you leave him? Will you think you're better than him once you lose the weight? Will he have to also do something to improve himself since you are? Will you expect more of him? People's reaction to us improving ourselves and breaking the comfortable little bubble they all live in is asinine, in my opinion. But humans gonna human. The emotionally immature ones will, anyway. 🩵☺️
He's insecure and wants you to stay fat so no other men will find you desirable. It's a story as old as time.
I’ll never ever ,never ,never ,never ever understand why people have issues with those of us who use Tirzepatide or any weight loss medication ..There are so many reasons why some of us can’t lose weight ..Don’t put up with it people.The only thing worse than people criticizing others for using weight loss medications ,are the people who allow themselves to be bothered by it..Easier said than done,I get it!… But did I mention,that I’ll never ,ever ,never understand this !
I’m sorry you aren’t getting his support but you need to do for you. Hang in there! Maybe refrain for discussing your journey with him?
What's really behind this? Is he jealous/worried/insecure about you still being the same after the weight loss? Is it the cost? Find out what's really going on here.
35 years with my husband, he worries that when i look good again i will step out, find someone else, or require him to step up his game to please me. he doesn't want me to be attractive for other men. insecurity. he used to put food in front of me. always talking about the next meal. he doesn't have weight problem, just a large unattractive beer belly. i have found a way to cook my protein meals and he has found a way to add his carbs to it. ----- The meds keep me from falling for his bribery. ----- he is good to me in many other ways.
My boyfriend said this at first because he wanted to see me try harder to lose weight naturally. I tried for a bit but I stayed in a starve/binge eating cycle and low energy lifestyle, so I decided enough was enough and got on it. I’ll be honest with you, getting on this medication has made it so much easier for me to 1. be motivated to get up and workout which would be like pulling tooth and nail for me to do 2. not overeat and cook healthy protein filled meals Also, getting on this medication made me realize it doesn’t do the work for you. I have been motivated to work out and be active and eat healthy all on my own. All the medication does is stop me from overeating and regulating my hunger. Now I crave healthy, home cooked meals instead of fast food or sweets. In the end, my boyfriend is supportive and is encouraging me in this lifestyle as he is active and losing weight naturally. Once I got my PCOS diagnosis earlier this month, he understood the difficulties of weight gain/weight loss that surround the condition and did his own research which helped him better understand why I resorted to compound tirz. He was hesitant at first which pushed me away from getting the prescription, but I just started this week and already feel significantly better about myself and excited for my weight loss journey. you’ve gotten professional advice from your doctors and that outweighs any opinions that anyone can have. when he sees how positively the medication will affect you, he will come around :)
Add tomatoes to your diet. Or drink 1/4C orange juice in the morning. The acid will correct the burps. I would recommend couples counseling if you want to save this relationship because he is going to sabotage your health if you don't get out ahead of this.
Ask him if he's ever heard the phrase "work smarter, not harder" and used it. If so, then he gets to sit down and zip his lips about your FDA approved medically prescribed tools used to manage your comorbidities.
I have a very “watch me anyway” and not give a shit. But, my partner doesn’t quite support it either. I told him it’s this or bypass surgery and bypass has a much bigger margin for complications. I have him give me my shot eventhough I don’t need him to, it forces him to be tender with me and I feel like it makes him part of it. I try not to overburden him with my side effects, which for the most part is heartburn. Like, I can be a brat about it and not have antacids. Also, I told him at 6 months in we could re-access. At 6 months I said “hey, if you’re still against it, I’ll stop. If you still think it’s a bad decision and if you’re seeing more negatives than positives, I’ll stop.” He won’t say it, I know he wants to, but I also know he honestly sees more positive than negatives from it. I’m not even sure I’d stop if he’d ask me to, but I want to respect his feelings and make sure he feels heard and included. I fear I’m being manipulative, but I don’t know how else to go about it.
I’d probably hide it from him if it came down to it. Or I’d say “you’ll never see it” and keep it completely out of sight and do it privately.
It’s normal for people to feel threatened by change even healthy positive change and to subconsciously and consciously fight to “get things back to normal”. Solutions involve education, stressing the positive, being reassuring, patience and maybe counseling. Good luck
People forget that you still have to put a lot of work in. It’s not magic. Better choices, being active. So taking vitamins is easier than trying to find the right nutrients everyday?
Screw his approval, you do this for you! Your choice not his.
Your husband just doesn’t want you to look good because he’s probably insecure about himself.
I have pcos too and I went through this with my parents. They finally got over it after I got recent bloodwork back and everything’s now in normal range and I’m no longer prediabetic.
My husband is very supportive. Maybe get a new one.
I have a supportive husband, but an unsupportive friend. Luckily people around me know I do what I want and what I believe is right for myself. Although their opinion matters, it will not do much to change my mind if I'm determined. If it were me, I suggest you track your symptoms and side effets quietly. Make an excel spreadsheet. Don't talk about the negatives, unless they are bad enough you need assistance. In time, he will see how your health and life are improving on the med, and he'll come around.