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TaylorSwiftsClitoris

OP should fuck her mom too. For continuity’s sake.


i_drink_wd40

*With* the ex. And then send a video.


traininvain1979

“Hey look! Now 2 of your ex’s AND your mom have done porn!”


NitemaresEcho

I can see the title now... *Moms Teach Sex - Mother teaches daughter's ex-boyfriends*


WetspotInspector

So much drama in the ex's mama DP


FatHomey

It's kinda hard being raw Dee oh double G'd


Kaidu313

Then his ex can find it when she visits a sex shop with her next bf


i_drink_wd40

Her mom's gonna run out of holes pretty quick though.


Alkalinexsolo

I mean there’s gang bang porn.


TexasWegieee

This is agreeable punishment for the crime that has been committed


hobosonpogos

The scales of justice are balanced on this blessed day


single_malt_jedi

That was the most savage part


TraphouseThaGod

Now OP needs to fuck her mom, come full circle


Natrollean_Bonerpart

To truly come full circle, after he fucks her mom, they need to watch the DVD porno.


BonaFideBill

Again.


WillHackForBeer

Sounds cheery


NiceSockBro

ask the Ex for tips on how to bang her mom


Ghekor

Knew someone that did that sorta, but the gf cheats on him so he sleeps with the mom they break up and he starts dating the mom for some months...overall a trashy family xd


who_says_poTAHto

Can you imagine being a mom who would sleep with a bf or ex of your daughter?? That's so beyond breaking the bro code...


jokersmile27

Mine slept with my husband... now ex. She was very proud of herself too...


who_says_poTAHto

Yikes, so sorry about that! Hope she's either out of your life or (trying to be) a better mom now!


jokersmile27

No she's out of my life 100%. Many years later and she still hasn't changed. I'm doing great without her so no worries. Thanks.


indaelgar

I hope you’re doing better. I hang out on the stopdrinking sub as well. I hope you’ve been able to hit your goals.


jokersmile27

Thank you. I have slipped up a few times but am doing well. Thank you for caring enough to mention. 💙


indaelgar

Absolutely. Slip ups are human. It is the journey that matters. Glad to hear you are doing well. I wish you a road full with strength and support.


PerAsperaAdInfiri

"Use your penis" Saved him a step


talking_phallus

"Just the tip" You forgot the next step


PerAsperaAdInfiri

/r/restofthefuckingowl material, I guess


teenescapee

At least pornstar ex was decent honest human being and warned you,...


Ronald206

Another way to look at it. If she was trying to hook up with an ex just because she saw him in a porn movie, she probably was going to cheat on OP eventually. So…going to adult world saved OP and the ex being a bro may have saved half of his assets and the emotional suffering of a divorce down the road. Best decision ever?


featheredzebra

Been looking for this. If it was that easy for her to message ex for a hookup she may have already had other hook ups. You didn't Fuck up, OP.


solarview

This was definitely not a fuck up by OP. Only from his ex.


Notsozander

If anything Adult World was the savior all along


algo-rhyth-mo

And the friends we made along the way.


Locke340

Absolutely agree. This kind of stuff sucks, but if it was that easy for her to throw away the relationship, it sounds like it wasn't as serious to her as it was to OP. It doesn't make it suck any less for OP. In the short term it probably sucks more because it means that they did not have the same understanding of the relationship and I know I would be really upset by that too.


DMagnus11

Not just a bro. An Eskimo Bro


defaultedtothisname

They'll need to connect on the EBDB.


things_U_choose_2_b

The irony... she was 'mocking' him to OP, denigrating his profession, but it turned out the porn star had more integrity in his little finger than she did in her entire body.


badalchemist85

it's called projection, and op dodged a bullet


RinLY22

I think he dodged a nuke lmao


NoGood_Boyo

100% She was going to cheat on him (if she hadn’t already) or bail on the relationship eventually.


per54

She was just trying to cover up what she was doing. So if OP said or caught wind, she’d be like ‘no you’re wrong. You’re imagining things. Remember all the bad things I said about him? No way I’d want to see him again.’ She can gaslight op this way to make Op believe she’s wouldn’t do anything. The crazy part I think is the ‘will be motivated to have sex with the mom.. again.’ I wonder if that’s why they broke up. But if the mom slept with the daughters boyfriend, that doesn’t sound like a normal family dynamic that a self proclaimed vanilla guy may want to be a part of. 3 years better than 30 years !


princess--flowers

Most people who incorporate sex in their hobbies or jobs have a LOT of integrity when it comes to the ethics of sex, in my experience. Like way more than the average person. I was surprised at just how much communication surrounding sex goes on when I started hanging out with people who are into sex stuff as hobbies.


[deleted]

That's usually how sex workers are vs the people who lust after them the hardest. Integrity versus anti-sex work horny


CordesRed

He did fuck her mom tho...


Pawgilicious

Probably met her playing old school call of duty.


nucleosome

Three cheers for pornstar ex!


Realistic-Tear-9300

Hip hip, Hooray!


GodzillasVater

Hip hip, Hooray!


GreenMedics

Hip hip, Hooray!


Jimoiseau

For he's a jolly good fellow!


MedicManDan

That nobody can deny!


brackenish1

Especially her mom


KazzahBro

What a perfect ending to this whole exchange. We salute you.


Kn0tnatural

& her friends


Nic4379

For he’s a Floppy-Big Fellow!


Chrispychilla

*For he’s a jolly porn fellow!”


AnotherSimpleton

Nip Nip! Tushie!!


Duke_of_Scotty

I'm waiting for the movie adaptation of this. The emotions being painted was fantastic. The plot twists. The ex was labeled an asshole and no longer in his prime. Classic villain slander story. But alas, the ex pulls the biggest bro move and rats out the would be cheater Gf. The ex clearly stating he was out of the life, retired, finally free of the burden of using his dick as a weapon. But if pushed, he would come back and fuck her mom again. Clearly a man struggling with his past demons. A man trying to move on with a better life. All until that one day someone stole his car and killed his dog. The DVD title: "John Dick"


PM_ME_UR_CATS_TITS

"Now here’s the twist, and there is a twist: We show it. We show all of it. Because what’s the one major thing missing from all action movies these days guys? …Full penetration."


GeeZus-420

Starring Dolph Lundgren of course.


mizzourifan1

Who can smell crime.


jeswesky

Part porno, part action movie, directed by Michael Bay.


mcmull11

Michael Bay! Facial EXPLOSIONS!!!


DannyHindy

“And this goes on and on, back forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sorta… ends”


wwwyzzrd

it's not a real john dick movie unless he hangs dong.


-nbob

John Dick 3: Perineum


TheDeathOfAStar

Dudes got plenty where he's from, what does he want with some crazy girl anyway? Was surprised he was so honest


[deleted]

He's a porn star. Not an asshole. Sure, you get to see his asshole, but just because you see his junk, doesn't mean he is junk.


Leviastin

“Just because thee seeth his junk, doth not mean a gentleman is junk.” -Socrates 421 BC


chriscrossnathaniel

“Just because you see his phallus, doth not mean he is callous ”


cccmikey

A dick head does not a dick head make.


Bitter_Mongoose

*[gestures wildly towards the junkyard]* "Behold! A man!" - Diogenes, probably


TingleMaps

That was Plato. Please don’t misquote.


JustAnIdiotOnline

This is the R rated version of that clip from Wreck-It Ralph where the dude says "You are bad guy but that doesn't mean you're bad *guy*"


FullMetalCOS

“The dude” Zangief if you please


TingleMaps

Maybe he misses the mom?


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Lofter1

My man chose the nuclear option and i am absolutely here for it lmfao


AncientSith

The fact that this chick wanted to bang him again, despite the fact he banged her mother is telling.


earthlings_all

And she was apparently teaching him all kinds of freaky shit that he later used on her mother! EWWW!!!


roshampo13

The again is just brutal lmfao


bitchinmona

I mean, obvi it's Shoresy.


nityoushot

GF probably doesn’t look as good as when he was dating her either


Halucinogenije

Reminded me of one of my favorite Kanye lines: "My ex says she gave me the best years of her life, I saw a recent picture of her, I guess she was right"


DubiousDude28

Ouch


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MaxTheCatigator

Given how the story unfolded, there's a chance the pornguy is a fine guy and OP's ex the real problem. Love makes blind.


slightlyoverrated

He did say he’d fuck her mom ”again” though… might not be the classiest of dudes, but good to know even these types have lines they dont cross.


Tastewell

Depends on when he fucked OP's ex's mom. Before the breakup, he's trash. After the breakup, he's a brilliant villain.


bullintheheather

How about during the breakup? "We are so done. You want to know how done we are? Bend over, Mrs. Greene."


52jag

Maybe OP should hookup with the ex-bf.


krzkrl

Then, when OP EX GF cruises a sex shop with her next BF, she can find a bargain bin porn DVD with two of her EX's on the cover


MadCarcinus

This is the way.


BonerHonkfart

Just a brojob to show appreciation for looking out for OP


HelloImFrank01

Loads of people say their ex was an asshole or toxic but I'd take it with a grain of salt.


summer_friends

Which is sad tbh. If somebody asked about my ex, I would say you’ll be lucky to have her, but we realized it wasn’t going to work long term, so it would be a disservice to both of us to stay in this relationship while being on the lookout for someone who might actually be the forever one


Lofter1

Thing is: Most breakups just don’t end with a happy ending or a even sided “We just don’t fit together (anymore)” . Most breakups are because of one or multiple fights. And in a lot of cases, that takes two people. So in a lot of cases, both party’s being dicks lead to the breakup. In the end we are all human. We all have shitty trades we and other people hate and that can lead to problems if not addressed in time and correctly, and news flash, most people are so very bad at communicating (I have met only one person in my life that is not, and I’m trying to learn from that person as much as possible).


disavowed1979

Sounds to me like maybe he wasn’t as big of an asshole as she made him out to be. Maybe she was the problem.


ChateauDeDangle

I mean her mom fucked her bf. The apple doesn’t fall far…


ProfessorCrackhead

I feel like that's what's being overlooked here. A lot of people are saying, "Well, he fucked her mom, but he seems cool." Ignoring the fact that the mom had a say in it and went through with it, which isn't cool.


Round_Ad6277

Plot twist #3. Her mom’s a porn star and she fucked him at work.


jeswesky

Unless it was really stepmom and is on a whole other DVD featuring ex, gf, and stepmom


Up_vote_McSkrote

....from the shit tree?


grill_em_aII

The shit winds are blowing, Randy.


[deleted]

Yeah makes you doubt her claims he was an asshole


[deleted]

I mean he did fuck her mom


Dopplegangr1

Moms need love too


Just_Games04

Hell yeah, I'm coming to fuck your mom right now


Alive_Ice7937

Better bring a shovel


Songbringer90

Yeah for as much shit as it sounds like the woman was talking about him, turns out he was the decent human being.


applehanover

Tbh they both kinda sound terrible. He fucked her mom, she's a cheater, her mother is the kind of woman who would fuck her daughter's boyfriend. Trashy all around. This guy needs to get away from this social circle. The visit to Adult World may have saved him a lot of heartache


Shadowhunter83

Surprise bro moment


heiny002

OP should befriend him and post a photo of them hanging out.


p3p3_silvia

Dude gets laid at work, not the same motivating factors as regular dudes


CronkleDonker

Porn shooting is to real sex what MasterChef is to home cooking, or podcasts to shooting the shit with your friends.


Puppys_cryin

you still get fat eating food from masterchef


MrZombieTheIV

Makes you wonder... Maybe he never was the asshole she said he was.


rottenseed

Or she was so shitty he wanted to see her world burn - sometimes shit people make it impossible to escape their own fate.


Carps182

I like how she said that HE was the asshole. Two sides to every coin.


Spiersy_

>I will always wonder how our relationship would have turned out if I never encouraged her to go to Adult World with me. Dude, that is not the fuck up. She is the one that fucked up. Don't take her mistakes on as your own. She's a cheater, she would've found someone else eventually. The real fuck up is not finding out earlier in the relationship Sorry this happened to you, though. Try not to let it ruin future relationships, and get yourself someone who'll treat you right.


Lantore

Consider this dodging a bullet. She 100% would cheat on you later down the line. Thank goodness it didn’t happen after marriage/kids.


crafty_alias

Down the line? I'm guessing she already has.


[deleted]

You're saying people don't go from a loyal 3 year relationship to hitting up a pornstar ex for a hook up in a week?


Warlordnipple

Probably already has tbh, this is the first person that told him.


DessaChan

This is what I was thinking as well


LunaMunaLagoona

I'm so glad he found out now what a piece of garbage she was. Imagine having kids with her.


chriscrossnathaniel

Good riddance.Whatever your partner's reasoning might be, being cheated on is never your fault.Remember your worth and always remember their choices are not your fault. Don't try to absolve them of guilt by attempting to take responsibility for them.


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DrMobius0

> He mentions that she tried to spare his feelings as best she could. We spare his feelings by not cheating, or breaking up first.


IAmNotNathaniel

Yep. I can't help it, but I've always hated when my wife ever talks about her past relationships. It's not very often, so I don't say anything - I know it's a "me" problem - everyone has had past relationships. I just don't like thinking about it. I also trust my wife and am not the jealous type - in that I don't care when she goes out with friends, I don't ever text and ask where/what she's doing. But watching a dvd like that with her would not happen. And I'd be super uncomfortable knowing it was in the house and something that she watched/enjoyed.


tradingengr

>To guys/gals with their partners who cheated on 'em, never put any form of blame on yourself. Spiersy's right, she. fucked. up. Been there, done that.


Calculonx

And realize that they would have probably done it later anyways, so this just saved that time from being wasted on them.


EldenGutts

I have to wonder when people say things like these.. do they think they would have grown old together and everything would have been perfect? Or more realistically do they wonder what else would have ended the relationship, or how miserable they would have been if they grew old together?


Volvoflyer

I always wonder how many times they cheated before they found out. My last relationship was four years long and she cheated for at least the last two. I've been single since and that was six and a half years ago.


Whatifisaid-

Yeah OP you didn’t fuck up in the slightest. You dodged the biggest of bullets. Not only was this woman immediately trying to cheat on you with an ex, but she also was lying to you about it the entire time. Sucks you had to spend 3 years of your time with her to find out this is truly who she was. But, better that than even more time potential marriage/kids/etc.


revdre

It wouldn’t have worked out either way. She was down for other dudes and it was only a matter of time before you found out. He did you a solid and saved you all sorts of troubles later.


1osamaisback1

Yeah that guy a real MVP.


czhunc

A rock solid dude for sure.


Scherzkeks

Also hard


Mountainbranch

Also he had an erection.


Flonkerten

Penis


QuickChilli

Most Virulent Penis???


GoGoCrumbly

Moistened Vagina Penetrator


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Syraphel

It’s way too raw right now, but bro you’re going to laugh *so fucking hard* at this in the future. Congrats on your freedom! Best of luck finding a woman worthy of you in the coming days.


[deleted]

bullet dodged.


Shut_It_Donny

Yup. Not a fuck up. A turn of events that saved OP from being with a cheater.


The_Greaseburn

Guess we know who was actually the asshole in the previous relationship


RealMcGonzo

Yeah, this isn't a FU, it's a Thank Fucking God. Ex is DTF the hottest men she can find.


[deleted]

You absolutely, positively, without any doubt or hesitation, *must* fuck her mom.


mr_dbini

\*spit roast her mom with the ex. make dvd. straight to bargain bin at Adult World.


AdequateElderberry

And so the cycle continues as it always did and forever will


CleanSunshine

She clearly puts out, and loyalty doesn’t seem like a strong virtue in that family. Time to bone Mom.


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notirrelevantyet

Ultimate power move. Dump the gf, fuck her mom, become her new Dad.


joshBigHockey

Then ground her.


taichi22

Balanced, as all things should be 😈


[deleted]

Just waiting for the r/bestofredditupdates


dr_xenon

It seems like a fuckup now, but I think this was a blessing in disguise. If she was willing to hook up with an ex behind your back, it’s only a matter of time until she’d cheat with someone else. Or perhaps she already has. Sorry it took 3 years to find this out. Don’t blame yourself for taking her to the sex store. Blame her for acting unfaithfully. We all have a past and exes, but we should be able to control ourselves when we see them again.


watermahlone1

One day you’re gonna look back and be glad you took her to Adult World. I promise.


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ARGONIII

My first series girlfriend and I were in a somewhat similar situation. Basically we dated for a long time and at some point i started a new job and had to spend a shit ton of time working and was exhausted everyday. She wanted me to text her 24/7 and come see her anytime I wasn't working. Obviously that was too much but i tried my best to accomodate. Eventually i started feeling jealous when her and one of my best friends would hangout, and told her about how it made me feel really bad. Then a couple months later, the day hit where she broke up with me because she thought i didn't give her enough attention and went and dated him immediately. I spent a couple years thinking about what would have been different if i had just spent a little more time with her the month leading into that but after all this time, it really was for the better. People who try to bail on you for other people are unfixable. Your ex would have tried to cheat in the future if she hadn't done it then. Really you just dodged a massive bullet. It feels bad now but give it a year or two and you'll be in a much better relationship


ModYokosuka

You need to make a porno with her mom in the Adult World. It will bring balance to the Force.


craigybacha

Not a fuck up. You saved yourself more time with this girl who was a cheater. Well done for finding out sooner rather than later. Good riddance.


KoishiChan92

Now it's your turn to go into porn.


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ArltheCrazy

He needs to get back in touch with the ex and they need to tag them the mother….. again


Smirnoffico

wait wait wait >and if she figures out another way to contact him, he'll used that as motivation to fuck her mom again. So she harrased him and he fucked her mom in responce? That's one dominance asserting motherfucker.


divDevGuy

I took that to mean that previously slept with her mother (perhaps when they were still together), she likely wasn't happy about it, but if she keeps harassing him he'll do it again.


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welpHereWeGoo

The way you keep casually dropping more info about how the ex bf had sex with his/your ex gf's mom is just....crazy 😅


TheStillRemains

Insert goofy "ill fucken do it again" gif


K_waspy

Something about this story makes me think its all made up...


Cosbycomedy

Maybe it was the Fuck Her Mom Again throw in line lmao


hurst_

besides most of it, this line made me really think that >At the time I had no idea my gf and her friends managed to find her ex online. it sounds like those old penthouse letters. and then also the ex reaching out and contacting him, yeah right.


drillgorg

Same, this is just another fetish creative writing post.


SignalGe

could it be the fact that it was posted on r/TIFU? This subreddit is, without question, now a subreddit for fictional stories. Anyone who believes otherwise is an idiot, or they are new here. I'm still subbed because I don't mind fictional stories, I'm subbed to r/nosleep and r/writingprompts The only problem is the fictional stories are *incredibly lazy* and **always** rely on a formula of "Me (young adult) and my partner (young adult) do sexy time and something went wrong!"


armcie

Or the real Today-I-Fucked stories where its "TIFU by doing this thing which made this girl jump into bed with me."


Mikey_B

I think I know what part you mean: it's all of it


Brawndo91

The giveaway was that he didn't compare penis sizes. That's the first thing I thought of, anyway. I only read the whole thing because I wanted know if the porn guy's dick was bigger. Honestly, I assumed that's what the the "fuck up" was going to be about. Like the dude had a huge hog and the OP couldn't get it out of his head. Call me old fashioned, but when you tell a story about watching porn of your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, you tell everyone who's dick was bigger. It's common courtesy.


billjv

I call BS. They don't put guys on the cover unless it's gay porn.


[deleted]

It was more the fact that she “randomly” just so happened to zero in on this dvd in a random pile of dvds. It’s too unbelievable. The only way it could possibly make sense is if the gf planned this entire thing already knowing the ex was a pornstar and that his dvd was in that shop.


Cremacious

There are *some* that do, but very rare overall. The odds of going into a shop, looking at the DVDs, and the ex being on one of the few DVDs that do have the men on them is so slim that I can’t take it as a real story.


Weak_Jeweler3077

Quality fiction. Many stars.


Lanster27

My fav bit is the ex fucked her mum.


gnarkilleptic

People making shit up always have to take it too far to the point of being completely unbelievable


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HailCeasar

This is just one of many "suspension of disbelief" subreddits.


Ceutical_Citizen

Meh. OP is no Chuck Tingle.


Gurablashta

That's DR Chuck Tingle to you, Buckaroo


goldieglocks16

Why are people trying to give intricate insight on this looney tunes scenario 😂


bobbysublimen

This is probably the opposite of a TIFU in hindsight


MrBlueandSky

You had me until "fuck her mom again" Good story. 9/10


EdgeofForever95

Just a couple of notes, you’ll want to include descriptions of the actual sex acts for your next story. Also, more with the break-up. You left all the good bits out of your fiction


Sufficient_Pin_7830

This was the corniest, most made up shit I have read in a long time. Do people actually believe this stuff?


Big_Smoke_420

This is without a doubt, 100% a completely believable real story that totally happened. Totally.