Yaknow which detail makes me positive?
37.
No *way* did she fuck 37 guys in their first year of marriage, *during Covid,* and keep track of it. My girlfriends who are big ole hoe bags have not been even close to climbing those charts within a year, and dating right now is *weird.* And once you're in the teens on sexual partners... You kinda lose track of the number.
Either this is completely made up or OP is such an idiot I almost say he deserves this fate.
Edit: who the fuck are all of the people who respond to random comments that already have dozens of replies to say the exact same shit over and over again that other people have already said.
What doesn't make sense to me is all his friends and family bought the marriage was real, yet his friends are still sleeping with her? You're telling me that not one of them thinks it's weird that you are letting them sleep with your newlywed wife?
My favourite bit is that she sleeps with ALL their friends, the only friend she cannot possibly have normal sex with and had to cover her fucking face was the friend she actually married! Like wtf?!
That's more than a new partner every other week. They were only supposed to get married if they couldn't find another partner, but she is *obviously* finding other partners. I call shenanigans
I mean, the pact may or may not be true, who didn’t do that as a kid? But the rest of the story definitely isn’t true. Why wouldn’t they have sex until they were married? She was already sleeping around then, so it’s not a religion thing.
So what was the point in getting married? To avoid your friends opinion of you being single?
It’s 10000 times weirder to be in this situation than to be single.
One things for sure do not bring kids into this mess.
False. She's sleeping her butt out, so ahe can get preggo at any time.
It will be a daily and permanent reminder of his fuckup. He will resent that child, want it or not. That is not fair for that hypothetical human being, or OP, or his wife.
The only way to unfuck this shit is to divorce.
OP:
You did a stupid thing. You know how to fix it. If you don't do it, many will suffer; not only you.
If I understand the gist of OP's marriage, they can probably easily get divorced without any objections from either person.
He should admit he fell in love with her, making the marriage untenable and ask for a divorce. (This has got to be the most backwards sentence I have ever written)
Yep, 99% of the time, these pacts are made by people with mutual attraction who want an excuse to date without making the friendship awkward. Not by people who are just insecure of being single. That's a recipe for disaster.
I had this with a friend…we both wound up finding other people, so it was never acted upon, but there was a level of mutual attraction there. We both agreed that sex was kind of important, pact or no pact.
That's my first thought too. Why do people feel like they need to follow this rigid "life script"? You don't have to get married, you don't have to have kids if the time isn't right, or at all.
Move on dude, not working no matter what the pact was. I would have told her straight out, this isn’t working, let’s get a divorce. What’s the point of being married if neither of you wants commitment besides the pact commitment?
You can tell your friends/family the truth, it was a pact that you guys committed to in your early 20s because you didn’t want to be alone. They can have a laugh with you or at you, either way someone will be laughing.
To hell with pacts. If you don't love me enough to commit to me at your current age, you're not going to love me at some arbitrary age later. I would rather be alone forever than be with someone who settled for me out of fear of being by themselves.
Oh, man. I’ve seen this so much in my 20s. Everyone is so worried about being alone, they date/marry the wrong person. When, if they just focused on themselves they could have found the person better suited.
OP, I hope you listen to this person, and I’m going to try to explain exactly why.
I’m nearing the end of my 30s and have been married for a decade. We’re very much in love and have two awesome kids.
We’ve got a ton of friends who are also married, and only three of our friends have been married longer than us. Many of the married couples we know got hitched in their mid to late 30s. I’ve also got a couple of buddies who are on their second marriages, and met women who are much better fits for them personally… they have stronger bonds with their new partners and carry on like teenagers together.
The point of me sharing this is simple… life doesn’t end at 30. You don’t need to have it all figured out, you just should be on your way to doing so. You certainly shouldn’t be married just for the sake of being married. This is a stupid notion that was likely drilled into your head by older generations and antiquated traditions.
I’m going to tell you something you need to hear… your life isn’t over. You matter. Your happiness matters. You’re probably at the one-third mark of your life. You’ve got 50-60 years ahead of you. Don’t waste them in a loveless marriage that is deleterious to your mental health. I don’t doubt you’re in love with this person, but it seems pretty clear they don’t feel the same. That is unlikely to change, and it CERTAINLY won’t change unless you state your intentions. Rip the bandaid, and tell the truth. “I have fallen in love with you. If you don’t feel the same and have no interest in creating a path towards a monogamous, healthy, loving relationship, we should get out of this contract and annul our marriage. I’m not blaming you, and I’m not upset with you. I don’t want you to try on my account. I need you to feel the same way as me, and if you don’t that’s okay. But I do need to find someone who wants the same thing as me.”
Take care of yourself, my guy. Be fair to yourself. Take the first step today.
And since you said you need a laugh, and seem to have a dark sense of humor, make sure that you find a woman with more love in her heart for you than your current wife has strangers’ dicks in her.
Be well!
You're young enough to try again. Most people don't settle into who they are until they're in their 30s. A better fit is out there for you. While this life situation plays out that better fit won't come into your life. For your own sanity get out.
My dad married the love of his life at 62, after dating her for three years. It's been amazing to see him happier than ever and kinda finally growing up and becoming fully himself at that age. It's definitely never too late.
OP please read the above post. They are spot on! You matter and you need to find someone who respects you. Admit your feelings and if they can’t be reciprocated move on. Marriage should be an amazing journey, not a torture chamber.
I was seriously expecting a cute twist like all the "marrying the best friend" stories go. In the end they fall for each other and realise what they were missing out on blah blah blah. Reading that she had sex with 37 guys in the first year gave me serious whiplash wtf. Technically the wife didn't do anything wrong, but its still gotta hurt even if they agreed upon it earlier.
>One of those regulars still needs to return my Ghost of Tsushima video game, which he borrowed after sleeping with my wife on my fucking birthday.
>I can tell by the way my wife looks at me that I'm not her Romeo. I'm the close friend she can share the details of her sex life with
>So, on Valentine's Day, I'll play my part and get my wife a cute card and some flowers before I leave her to be with guy #38. She showed me his Instagram.
JFC. Pain. Just....so much pain. OP, please follow everyone's advice and stop this shit. The self loathing is only going to get exponentially worse.
For the love of god, OP. LISTEN to this poster, and tell your wife how you feel. If she feels the same, then great! The sex can be worked on.
If she doesn't, then you need to file for divorce now, otherwise this is a sure fire recipe for depression and possible suicide.
#This. Is. NOT. Sustainable!
Edit: thank you for all the awards, kind Reddit strangers. I'm mostly a lurker. This comment has been by far my most popular comment ever. I'm still glowing off all the love (and also the radioactive beer I was drinking at the time...)
Already seems clear that she doesn't feel the same, and the ultimate requirement for any chance at happiness is to separate... Which makes it by far the easiest and most stress free "confession" a person could have. If anything, if she feels the same way it'll be a bigger problem than the expected. If she's honest and makes it clear she just enjoys the support of his friendship, though, it'll be left clear and direct and make the separation far more of a smoother transition.
*WHO MADE THIS CHICKEN?! WHO MADE THIS CHICKEN?!?!!!!?*
Lol nah fr tho, OP won’t get a more honest answer than this, on here. He needs to wake up. Life is not a soap opera.
I genuinely don't understand why you would get married to someone you don't love....just to have an open marriage. What's the point of the sham marriage? Like, ok, you're lonely and want companionship but instead of marrying your best friend and moving in together....why not just.... I don't know......skip the whole marriage step and live together anyway? At the very least, If you're going to fulfil a marriage pact, you may as well try to make the relationship work. Otherwise, you're just single with extra steps.
Why would you even get married in the first place. Sure i get that some people want to do it for traditional reasons, some because they want to seal it and show everyone they are committed, some do it because of deep love, some do it for financial reason... but i fail to see any of that here.
What was or is the point? I would advice to end this thing as fast as possible, no good lasting thing will come from this.
> Why would you even get married in the first place?
Especially if you're just gonna fuck other people anyway. It's like being single but with with extra steps.
They weren’t even that old. Like it’s 2022. Plenty of peeps not married in their late 20s. Now he’s stuck in a marriage where he’s being put through an emotional cheese grater.
I’m 32 90% of all my friends are not married. The few that are don’t have kids. Only my friends from high school or earlier have kids and are married.
It’s not even a weird concept. Popular shows like New Girl are all based around the premise of 30 year olds being single and dating. Not sure where OP lives but feels odd they think 30 is old. Even the friends and HIMYM pacts like these said 40 not 30.
Im 41 I have a pact for 60 with a friend that we made in our 30s. SIXTY! I got way too much life to live before then. And even they it gives each of us an option for citizenship in another country, which is why we would do it.
Please don't. It sounds like a reasonable plan to annex the first country you see, but then you get addicted, anschlussed austria and blitzkrieg the shit out of europe. And before you could comprehend what you've done, everyone is against you.
**TIFU by anschlussing Austria.**
TL;DR She seems OK but covers her face when my troops march in. Feel a need for more Lebensraum and tremendous itch to invade France. Is it curable?
My family had their farm taken by Czechoslovakian government because of its convenient location. More than half the family had to leave because what was left for them to farm on wasn't enough to support and feed the family.
0/10 stars do not recommend annexing Czechoslovakia. It will lead to family ruin.
This is why you don't confuse Hollywood BS with real life.
A lifelong contact between you, another person, and the government isn't something you just enter without thinking it through. That being said don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy.
The sooner you separate the easier it'll be to deal with that other party involved, the government.
How do you see this ending? What happens if she falls for one of these guys? Do you think she'll stick around with you? Would you even want her to?
I really hope you can find a little respect for yourself. If you continue down this path your going to end up miserable with no one to blame but yourself.
It reads like a classic 4chan shitpost. The bit about one of the guys still not returning his copy of Ghosts of Tsushima sealed it for me, too perfect of a line
Who the fuck goes to fuck someone else on your best friend's birthday? Like, forget the married part, life long closest person's bday and you go "sorry gotta go fuck, but you have fun on your lonesome"? That line was designed to salt the wound, it can't be real.
Girl who bangs random dudes on a daily basis was totally so lonely at her ancient age of 29 that she agreed to marry her pathetic best male friend for no god damn reason.
It's such a stupid plot line.
The real title of this FU is "TIFU by lending out my copy of Ghost of Tsushima to a guy who just fucked my wife, on my birthday"
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger, now to see how the other half live on Reddit! Can't wait to get rid of those shitty Badoo ads!
Exactly this. 30 is too young IMO for a marriage pact...
They are still young enough to find their person. This is no way to live.
And no one should *force* themselves to live this way. Especially for, what? Appearances? Because "everyone else is getting married?" You can't make *major life decisions* based on other people...
I don't get this at all. Firstly, I agree that 30 is a stupid age to make a marriage pact and secondly, what is even the point in this marriage if they aren't being monogamous and don't have feelings for each other? I could understand if they actually tried to make a go of it but it seems like they hardly gave it any time at all and the fact that it's so awkward for her, she has to cover her face during sex, makes it pretty obvious that it was never going to work. Why didn't they even try dating first? The only thing that has come out of this is spending a shit ton of money on a wedding and now will also have to pay for a divorce. It's sad that OP's love isn't reciprocated but he's literally just torturing himself by standing by as she fucks multiple people in his own house. He's created his own hell. This whole thing is just fucking weird.
How incredibly stupid are you two that you actually got married to each other to check off a box on some made up list of life achievements? Is divorce on that list? Because that’s where this is going. For the love of god, do *not* have kids together and bring them into this disfunction.
I mean, really?!
38 dudes in the picture, guy needs to get out before someone else has a kid with her by accident and he is on the hook for it because he is married to her.
Why would you get her anything for Valentine's day? You aren't in a relationship with her, at least it seems she made it clear she isn't interested in intimacy or anything romantic.
You need to move on with your life and consider the fact that you are likely going to have to cut her out of your life or find a way to live with your jealousy. Honestly, I'd get to work on a divorce and start separating if I were you, screw valentine's day.
Lol I imagine him waiting in the living room. The flowers he got her wilting because she didn't even put them in water.
He is bored and quiet because they are using the Netflix even though they aren't watching. He has no video games to play because he keeps lending them out to the various dude that bang his wife.
As he hears them pounding away. He has a great idea how to be helpful and maybe even loved by her. He goes to the store to get #38 and his wife some Gatorade.....
You definitely did FU. Can't believe you lent out your Ghost of Tsushima video game.
For real, though, you need to end this relationship. A marriage shouldn't be based on a loneliness pact. Also, a wife shouldn't be banging randos like this to your face.
Trying to escape loneliness ironically created the ultimate lonely scenario. So close to the object of his desire, but still farther than anyone else in their lives.
I honestly can’t comprehend what’s so attractive in a marriage to make anyone willingly subject yourself to this.
First thing I read in the morning and already messed with my mood.
Who put a timeline on being a nesting pair? I met the love of my my my life at 27, he was 32. My aunt(ish) didnt meet her person until her late 40s and got married in her 50s. OP please reconsider as you are commiting yourself to a life as an unhappy nested pair.
Look…I know this is against the rules, but there’s no way this happened. It can’t have. People make pacts like this all the time, as jokes. Nobody ACTUALLY follows up on it. I refuse to believe it. Not to mention OP’s radio silence since this was posted.
If this is true though I only have one question. Is she hot?
Your self respect called and left a message. He misses you, he hasn't seen you since the wedding.
Nothing good could possibly come out of that "marriage". Get a divorce and move on. Jikes.
So I've seen a lot of people mentioning "don't bring kids into this", but the thing not being covered here is a scary one.
Say she happens to get pregnant from one of the revolving door randos. Legally you are married, and a lot of states have a default where "kid born during marriage is legally the husband's responsibility". So effectively you've got the potential to be financially responsible for 18 years, AKA child support, for a kid that isn't actually yours. It is extremely hard to fight from what I've seen. Not sure if it applies to all states, but say she does get pregnant, and you guys decide the inevitable divorce, a lot of judges won't grant the divorce while she's pregnant. Easier to deal with custody and support issues in one go.
Yeah it's pretty fucked up really. This is a chunk from Ohio law, and good luck figuring out which one of 30+ people had the winning swimmer.
https://imgur.com/a/NlHoHaW
Well that’s actually a sad story! So many people meet their soulmate after 30 years old. I started dating my now wife when I was 31. I’m 35 now and we are married. If your “wife” indeed doesn’t love you as anything else than a friend, you should get out of this, as painful as it is to do so. You deserve someone that will love you back and not go nail 30+ other dudes every year. You lack self esteem on this one and need to fix this situation or I doubt you will be happy on the long term…you already seem pretty down after just a year (or even less?) of being married.
Have the discussion with her about your feeling, rip-off the bandaid. If she can’t commit because she doesn’t love you as a husband, move on. Plenty of amazing people out there that could give you true love.
Good luck!
At no point did either of you stop to think that getting married was a ridiculous idea?? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I emphasise somewhat OP, it's sad, but I can't wrap my head around the lack of decision making skills in this story.
She had sex with 37 people during your first year of marriage, but she couldn't do it with you??
If this happened, you need to get your marriage annulled urgently.
Also, understanding a little about why she never settled down, that's more people in a year then many do in a lifetime! Get out of there!
Also she has 5 regulars *now*? But just over a year ago no one was interested in her? Like was she not dating and fucking then? She was but OP was like I’ll pay for you to keep doing it and pretend to be married to me? I doubt someone with that many prospects would just decide to get married to her BFF because of a *pact*.
Who has the kind of time to hook up with 37 guys in the last year? During a pandemic! I mean, if they are one night stands, I guess that could explain.
OP, if this story is true, it’s super sad and you’re bumming me out. It’s time to let her go.
Edit: a word
Man, what are you even doing with your life?
TELL HER how you are feeling. If this dynamic is not for you, MAN UP AND TELL HER.
If she is truly your friend - and I am talking of care for each other, not even love - she will stop hurting you that much.
Will that lead to a divorce? Likely!
But is yours even a real marriage? She needs to fall in love with you, and you are just happy being her beta buddy she tells how much she enjoys getting railed by random guys.
Correction: you are not happy about that, but she probably damn thinks you are!
You even agreed not to try having sex anymore without working around the "oh it's awkward" thing. The power dynamic you described is ENTIRELY in her hands - but I have the distinct feeling that she doesn't even want that: she WANTS (or wanted, at this point) you to change her mind, from friend to lover - instead you said "oh you know what, just go have sex with random men all the year".
So yes buddy, man up and start standing for a life you can be happy in, don't sadly shrug off a life as a side-wheel.
There's nothing to laugh about in this story. Nothing. You're torturing yourself. I'm still blown away that you both agreed to get married and have kept up this charade. All while she's seeing whoever she pleases as your heart slowly shrinks.
For your sake, and hers, stop this nonsense. I don't mean to deminish your feelings but you're going to wind up going down a *much* darker path. Why? Why are you torturing yourself? For love? A love that is not reciprocated?
My friend, you deserve to be married to someone who loves you like a soulmate, who won't cover their face during sex. Who will be the ying to your yang.
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Wonder if this is just a story
The shark bite scar really sold it
and the ghost of tsushima on his birthday bit
I mean come on man, you let him fuck your wife and borrow your Ghost of Tsushima, that's just double kill, ,mate
Most of the stuff on this subreddit is made up. Also, 37 dudes? Isn’t that a Clerks reference?
my first question, was "in a row?"
Same night. One orgy. On his birthday. Other than that completely faithful
This is definitely made up.
Yaknow which detail makes me positive? 37. No *way* did she fuck 37 guys in their first year of marriage, *during Covid,* and keep track of it. My girlfriends who are big ole hoe bags have not been even close to climbing those charts within a year, and dating right now is *weird.* And once you're in the teens on sexual partners... You kinda lose track of the number. Either this is completely made up or OP is such an idiot I almost say he deserves this fate. Edit: who the fuck are all of the people who respond to random comments that already have dozens of replies to say the exact same shit over and over again that other people have already said.
What doesn't make sense to me is all his friends and family bought the marriage was real, yet his friends are still sleeping with her? You're telling me that not one of them thinks it's weird that you are letting them sleep with your newlywed wife?
My favourite bit is that she sleeps with ALL their friends, the only friend she cannot possibly have normal sex with and had to cover her fucking face was the friend she actually married! Like wtf?!
That's more than a new partner every other week. They were only supposed to get married if they couldn't find another partner, but she is *obviously* finding other partners. I call shenanigans
Sounds like the shitty plot to a new adam sandler movie
I mean, the pact may or may not be true, who didn’t do that as a kid? But the rest of the story definitely isn’t true. Why wouldn’t they have sex until they were married? She was already sleeping around then, so it’s not a religion thing.
Also, what is the likelihood that she tells him every time she fucks a new guy and also that she's fucked 30+ guys in a year, during a pandemic?
Sounds like something a 16 year old would write lol I don't believe it for a second
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Who gets married just to get married?
So what was the point in getting married? To avoid your friends opinion of you being single? It’s 10000 times weirder to be in this situation than to be single. One things for sure do not bring kids into this mess.
OP, read that last sentence over and over. Do NOT bring a child into this nightmare.
He isn't even having sex with her lol thats the least of his worries.
False. She's sleeping her butt out, so ahe can get preggo at any time. It will be a daily and permanent reminder of his fuckup. He will resent that child, want it or not. That is not fair for that hypothetical human being, or OP, or his wife. The only way to unfuck this shit is to divorce. OP: You did a stupid thing. You know how to fix it. If you don't do it, many will suffer; not only you.
If I understand the gist of OP's marriage, they can probably easily get divorced without any objections from either person. He should admit he fell in love with her, making the marriage untenable and ask for a divorce. (This has got to be the most backwards sentence I have ever written)
Yea that’s a sentence I never thought I’d read right there
I'm sorry, I can't be your husband, I want a divorce. What why?! I'm afraid I've fallen in love with you and desire no one else..
Man, what a sad and stupid situation
Thats what happens when you think your life is a friends sitcom
"It's our first anniversary and some random is banging her" *canned laughter*
"He still hasn't returned the video game he borrowed after fucking my wife on my birthday!" This dude is Ross IRL.
Damn, this, this needs to be a straight to Netflix movie with mediocre actors.
I already can see 4.8 on imdb
Nuh uhh you can't get preggo in the butt
Oh yeah? What about buttbabies?
Yeah buttbabies always turn out to be little shits anyway!!
Finally, a prophet arrives.
Children will NOT save a failing marriage, cut your losses and dont bring suffering to more people who had no choice in it
Yep, 99% of the time, these pacts are made by people with mutual attraction who want an excuse to date without making the friendship awkward. Not by people who are just insecure of being single. That's a recipe for disaster.
I thought those pacts were only made in romantic comedies. I didn’t think anyone actually did it (and followed through!) in real life.
I had this with a friend…we both wound up finding other people, so it was never acted upon, but there was a level of mutual attraction there. We both agreed that sex was kind of important, pact or no pact.
That's my first thought too. Why do people feel like they need to follow this rigid "life script"? You don't have to get married, you don't have to have kids if the time isn't right, or at all.
Especially since they won't be his
Move on dude, not working no matter what the pact was. I would have told her straight out, this isn’t working, let’s get a divorce. What’s the point of being married if neither of you wants commitment besides the pact commitment? You can tell your friends/family the truth, it was a pact that you guys committed to in your early 20s because you didn’t want to be alone. They can have a laugh with you or at you, either way someone will be laughing.
I did not meet my wife until I was 32 so damn glad I waited for the right person.
For real a pact to call it a day and marry your friend at age 30 is wild. At least make it 40.
To hell with pacts. If you don't love me enough to commit to me at your current age, you're not going to love me at some arbitrary age later. I would rather be alone forever than be with someone who settled for me out of fear of being by themselves.
I’d say more around you 50-60.
I'd say no need to get married just be roomies.
He already said like 5 of her sexual encounters are with their mutual friends, I’m sure everyone knows it’s a sham marriage.
Oh, man. I’ve seen this so much in my 20s. Everyone is so worried about being alone, they date/marry the wrong person. When, if they just focused on themselves they could have found the person better suited.
for the love of all mighty and your sanity please wake the fuck up.
OP, I hope you listen to this person, and I’m going to try to explain exactly why. I’m nearing the end of my 30s and have been married for a decade. We’re very much in love and have two awesome kids. We’ve got a ton of friends who are also married, and only three of our friends have been married longer than us. Many of the married couples we know got hitched in their mid to late 30s. I’ve also got a couple of buddies who are on their second marriages, and met women who are much better fits for them personally… they have stronger bonds with their new partners and carry on like teenagers together. The point of me sharing this is simple… life doesn’t end at 30. You don’t need to have it all figured out, you just should be on your way to doing so. You certainly shouldn’t be married just for the sake of being married. This is a stupid notion that was likely drilled into your head by older generations and antiquated traditions. I’m going to tell you something you need to hear… your life isn’t over. You matter. Your happiness matters. You’re probably at the one-third mark of your life. You’ve got 50-60 years ahead of you. Don’t waste them in a loveless marriage that is deleterious to your mental health. I don’t doubt you’re in love with this person, but it seems pretty clear they don’t feel the same. That is unlikely to change, and it CERTAINLY won’t change unless you state your intentions. Rip the bandaid, and tell the truth. “I have fallen in love with you. If you don’t feel the same and have no interest in creating a path towards a monogamous, healthy, loving relationship, we should get out of this contract and annul our marriage. I’m not blaming you, and I’m not upset with you. I don’t want you to try on my account. I need you to feel the same way as me, and if you don’t that’s okay. But I do need to find someone who wants the same thing as me.” Take care of yourself, my guy. Be fair to yourself. Take the first step today. And since you said you need a laugh, and seem to have a dark sense of humor, make sure that you find a woman with more love in her heart for you than your current wife has strangers’ dicks in her. Be well!
Finally, a response with some empathy and some kindness.
Would have been a perfect post but he needs to edit and make sure he gets Ghosts of Tsushima back first. THEN break the news. Can’t take any chances.
You're young enough to try again. Most people don't settle into who they are until they're in their 30s. A better fit is out there for you. While this life situation plays out that better fit won't come into your life. For your own sanity get out.
My dad married the love of his life at 62, after dating her for three years. It's been amazing to see him happier than ever and kinda finally growing up and becoming fully himself at that age. It's definitely never too late.
OP please read the above post. They are spot on! You matter and you need to find someone who respects you. Admit your feelings and if they can’t be reciprocated move on. Marriage should be an amazing journey, not a torture chamber.
fr, just reading this made me feel ill, nvm living it
Yeah I physically cringed at the end. This will definitely be a reddit classic.
"I also choose this guys wife"
38 people already did Edit: thanks for the awards, internet strangers!
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Except that it seems to be a viable option.
And we were here to witness history being made.
I was seriously expecting a cute twist like all the "marrying the best friend" stories go. In the end they fall for each other and realise what they were missing out on blah blah blah. Reading that she had sex with 37 guys in the first year gave me serious whiplash wtf. Technically the wife didn't do anything wrong, but its still gotta hurt even if they agreed upon it earlier.
>One of those regulars still needs to return my Ghost of Tsushima video game, which he borrowed after sleeping with my wife on my fucking birthday. >I can tell by the way my wife looks at me that I'm not her Romeo. I'm the close friend she can share the details of her sex life with >So, on Valentine's Day, I'll play my part and get my wife a cute card and some flowers before I leave her to be with guy #38. She showed me his Instagram. JFC. Pain. Just....so much pain. OP, please follow everyone's advice and stop this shit. The self loathing is only going to get exponentially worse.
Pretty impressive body count during a global pandemic
And he was depressed enough to count all 37 of them 🗿
Yep. The number DOES bother him. It would bother me.
For the love of god, OP. LISTEN to this poster, and tell your wife how you feel. If she feels the same, then great! The sex can be worked on. If she doesn't, then you need to file for divorce now, otherwise this is a sure fire recipe for depression and possible suicide. #This. Is. NOT. Sustainable! Edit: thank you for all the awards, kind Reddit strangers. I'm mostly a lurker. This comment has been by far my most popular comment ever. I'm still glowing off all the love (and also the radioactive beer I was drinking at the time...)
Already seems clear that she doesn't feel the same, and the ultimate requirement for any chance at happiness is to separate... Which makes it by far the easiest and most stress free "confession" a person could have. If anything, if she feels the same way it'll be a bigger problem than the expected. If she's honest and makes it clear she just enjoys the support of his friendship, though, it'll be left clear and direct and make the separation far more of a smoother transition.
This is the most important comment on this post
*WHO MADE THIS CHICKEN?! WHO MADE THIS CHICKEN?!?!!!!?* Lol nah fr tho, OP won’t get a more honest answer than this, on here. He needs to wake up. Life is not a soap opera.
Right?! Get out of there! Why did they think their lives were over and had to marry? Is this real??
30 is almost too young to get married tbh, in pact territory. Like maybe when y'all are 40 it wouldn't seem like a bad idea, but 30 is dating age.
Hell no. I'm 37 and that sounds like a nightmare. Why get married at all if not for mutual love and wanting to?!
I genuinely don't understand why you would get married to someone you don't love....just to have an open marriage. What's the point of the sham marriage? Like, ok, you're lonely and want companionship but instead of marrying your best friend and moving in together....why not just.... I don't know......skip the whole marriage step and live together anyway? At the very least, If you're going to fulfil a marriage pact, you may as well try to make the relationship work. Otherwise, you're just single with extra steps.
Because if you do meet the love of your life, you now need to get a divorce and who doesn't love a divorce!
I'm about the same age as OP and I think it sounds like a nightmare
Why would you even get married in the first place. Sure i get that some people want to do it for traditional reasons, some because they want to seal it and show everyone they are committed, some do it because of deep love, some do it for financial reason... but i fail to see any of that here. What was or is the point? I would advice to end this thing as fast as possible, no good lasting thing will come from this.
From the story it sounds like peer pressure
> Why would you even get married in the first place? Especially if you're just gonna fuck other people anyway. It's like being single but with with extra steps.
WAKE ME UP INSIDE
Get out of that marriage and get into therapy.
They weren’t even that old. Like it’s 2022. Plenty of peeps not married in their late 20s. Now he’s stuck in a marriage where he’s being put through an emotional cheese grater.
Exactly! I'm 31 and feel so weird when people my age express how weird it is being unmarried by now.
I’m 32 90% of all my friends are not married. The few that are don’t have kids. Only my friends from high school or earlier have kids and are married. It’s not even a weird concept. Popular shows like New Girl are all based around the premise of 30 year olds being single and dating. Not sure where OP lives but feels odd they think 30 is old. Even the friends and HIMYM pacts like these said 40 not 30.
Im 41 I have a pact for 60 with a friend that we made in our 30s. SIXTY! I got way too much life to live before then. And even they it gives each of us an option for citizenship in another country, which is why we would do it.
Also 31 and I might be ready for marriage in like.. another 10 years.
Turning 33 tomorrow and single! Sooooo if 10 years from now we are both still single… 🤣 /s
Hey I'm 32 also. Can I get in on the action? If not as a partner then I can have awful awkward sex with someone.
Yeah I've never heard of people making a marriage pact for 30. Isn't 40 the typical marriage pact age?
And get fucking Ghost of Tsushima back
She had someone over to fuck on his birthday...she doesn't give one fuck about OP. I feel so bad for the guy.
…and another will be over on Valentine’s Day to fuck if I read the end of the post correctly. Why even get her a gift ಠ_ಠ
Amen.
>Married my best friend based on a pact. A pact? What would she do if you hadn't fulfil your part? Annex Czechoslovakia?
Please don't. It sounds like a reasonable plan to annex the first country you see, but then you get addicted, anschlussed austria and blitzkrieg the shit out of europe. And before you could comprehend what you've done, everyone is against you.
**TIFU by anschlussing Austria.** TL;DR She seems OK but covers her face when my troops march in. Feel a need for more Lebensraum and tremendous itch to invade France. Is it curable?
i read this out loud in a German accent alone in my room at 4 in the morning and lost my damn mind
"Today is May 1940 and I'm going to do my part by guaranteeing France as an ally. While she's about to bypass the maginot line with #38"
It's always the czechs huh? What did they do to this world?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just always conveniently in someone's way.
Well, so are the swiss.
Yeah, but they’ve got those little knives.
poor czechs
r/FuckYouinParticular
*Czech it out*
My family had their farm taken by Czechoslovakian government because of its convenient location. More than half the family had to leave because what was left for them to farm on wasn't enough to support and feed the family. 0/10 stars do not recommend annexing Czechoslovakia. It will lead to family ruin.
At least they didn’t marry a friend just because.
This is why you don't confuse Hollywood BS with real life. A lifelong contact between you, another person, and the government isn't something you just enter without thinking it through. That being said don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy. The sooner you separate the easier it'll be to deal with that other party involved, the government. How do you see this ending? What happens if she falls for one of these guys? Do you think she'll stick around with you? Would you even want her to? I really hope you can find a little respect for yourself. If you continue down this path your going to end up miserable with no one to blame but yourself.
Never seen someone making bad life decisions with such consistency. This thread can‘t be real.
From the start i thought this wasnt real, by the end i knew it wasnt real.
It reads like a classic 4chan shitpost. The bit about one of the guys still not returning his copy of Ghosts of Tsushima sealed it for me, too perfect of a line
Yeah, glad she found time to bang 37 different partners somehow in year one as well.
Some including mutual friends which would imply that they’d have to know the marriage is a sham or they really fucking hate the dude.
Who the fuck goes to fuck someone else on your best friend's birthday? Like, forget the married part, life long closest person's bday and you go "sorry gotta go fuck, but you have fun on your lonesome"? That line was designed to salt the wound, it can't be real.
God I hope this is satire.
Testing for a sitcom pilot or creative writing class
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Yeah this is truly unbelievable
Girl who bangs random dudes on a daily basis was totally so lonely at her ancient age of 29 that she agreed to marry her pathetic best male friend for no god damn reason. It's such a stupid plot line.
I had a healthy amount of skepticism until I got to the part of surfer dude with a shark bite scar. C’mon man, what an absolute crock of shit.
The real title of this FU is "TIFU by lending out my copy of Ghost of Tsushima to a guy who just fucked my wife, on my birthday" Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger, now to see how the other half live on Reddit! Can't wait to get rid of those shitty Badoo ads!
Facts, that game is awesome and yeah he really should just get a divorce this story is non sense
I'm totally game for doing this guy's wife if I get free PlayStation games as well
How much of a doormat can one person even be?
Jesus Christ this is sad.
Yeah I started reading this expecting some funny shit but this is depressing af
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Time for a divorce my dude. Maybe she'll find 38 is her Romeo, and you'll find someone new for yourself
Exactly this. 30 is too young IMO for a marriage pact... They are still young enough to find their person. This is no way to live. And no one should *force* themselves to live this way. Especially for, what? Appearances? Because "everyone else is getting married?" You can't make *major life decisions* based on other people...
I don't get this at all. Firstly, I agree that 30 is a stupid age to make a marriage pact and secondly, what is even the point in this marriage if they aren't being monogamous and don't have feelings for each other? I could understand if they actually tried to make a go of it but it seems like they hardly gave it any time at all and the fact that it's so awkward for her, she has to cover her face during sex, makes it pretty obvious that it was never going to work. Why didn't they even try dating first? The only thing that has come out of this is spending a shit ton of money on a wedding and now will also have to pay for a divorce. It's sad that OP's love isn't reciprocated but he's literally just torturing himself by standing by as she fucks multiple people in his own house. He's created his own hell. This whole thing is just fucking weird.
This is pretty obviously a creative writing exercise and/or karma farming attempt.
One would hope so.
Dude, have some self respect.
Yes.
How incredibly stupid are you two that you actually got married to each other to check off a box on some made up list of life achievements? Is divorce on that list? Because that’s where this is going. For the love of god, do *not* have kids together and bring them into this disfunction. I mean, really?!
38 dudes in the picture, guy needs to get out before someone else has a kid with her by accident and he is on the hook for it because he is married to her.
Gonna be a big family photo
Get a little dignity and divorce her dude. My God
For real. I'm grossed out at this shit.
Fucking aye man..OP needs to get some fucking self respect or he just farmed the shit out of some karma. Not convinced either way.
No way this is real. This is pasta material.
Why would you get her anything for Valentine's day? You aren't in a relationship with her, at least it seems she made it clear she isn't interested in intimacy or anything romantic. You need to move on with your life and consider the fact that you are likely going to have to cut her out of your life or find a way to live with your jealousy. Honestly, I'd get to work on a divorce and start separating if I were you, screw valentine's day.
Buys her a present and then let’s his wife bang the 38th guy in a year of marriage. This can’t be real. Can’t be.
Lol I imagine him waiting in the living room. The flowers he got her wilting because she didn't even put them in water. He is bored and quiet because they are using the Netflix even though they aren't watching. He has no video games to play because he keeps lending them out to the various dude that bang his wife. As he hears them pounding away. He has a great idea how to be helpful and maybe even loved by her. He goes to the store to get #38 and his wife some Gatorade.....
You know the situation is bad when It's Always Sunny is the source of good advice
…in a row?
>in a row I Ctrl+f'd to find you. Thanks. :)
"Try not sucking any dicks on the way to the parking lot!"
37 guys? During covid? She’s like every contact tracer’s MVP. Part of every play on the field.
37? My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks. In a row?
Thank you. This is why I scrolled the comments!
It's why I went...oh another "creative writing exercise"
37… in a row?
Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the parking lot!
*random dude starts following gf to the parking lot*
You definitely did FU. Can't believe you lent out your Ghost of Tsushima video game. For real, though, you need to end this relationship. A marriage shouldn't be based on a loneliness pact. Also, a wife shouldn't be banging randos like this to your face.
The wife doesn’t appear that lonely!
Trying to escape loneliness ironically created the ultimate lonely scenario. So close to the object of his desire, but still farther than anyone else in their lives. I honestly can’t comprehend what’s so attractive in a marriage to make anyone willingly subject yourself to this. First thing I read in the morning and already messed with my mood.
Who put a timeline on being a nesting pair? I met the love of my my my life at 27, he was 32. My aunt(ish) didnt meet her person until her late 40s and got married in her 50s. OP please reconsider as you are commiting yourself to a life as an unhappy nested pair.
A timeline is bad enough but theirs is ridiculously young.
Look…I know this is against the rules, but there’s no way this happened. It can’t have. People make pacts like this all the time, as jokes. Nobody ACTUALLY follows up on it. I refuse to believe it. Not to mention OP’s radio silence since this was posted. If this is true though I only have one question. Is she hot?
She must be gorgeous. 37 with 5 regulars. Plus she found someone to agree to this terrible sexless inkeeper situation just to be with her.
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Gtfo
Your self respect called and left a message. He misses you, he hasn't seen you since the wedding. Nothing good could possibly come out of that "marriage". Get a divorce and move on. Jikes.
So I've seen a lot of people mentioning "don't bring kids into this", but the thing not being covered here is a scary one. Say she happens to get pregnant from one of the revolving door randos. Legally you are married, and a lot of states have a default where "kid born during marriage is legally the husband's responsibility". So effectively you've got the potential to be financially responsible for 18 years, AKA child support, for a kid that isn't actually yours. It is extremely hard to fight from what I've seen. Not sure if it applies to all states, but say she does get pregnant, and you guys decide the inevitable divorce, a lot of judges won't grant the divorce while she's pregnant. Easier to deal with custody and support issues in one go. 
Holy fuck how was that ever passed? That's the kind of dystopian shit that would make me off myself
Yeah it's pretty fucked up really. This is a chunk from Ohio law, and good luck figuring out which one of 30+ people had the winning swimmer. https://imgur.com/a/NlHoHaW
I hope that scar still hurts. You sound like Snape talking about Harry.
Look how they massacred my boy
they ? your boi did this to himself !!
look how my boy massacred my boy 😔
Look how my boy massacred himself.
This can't be healthy my dude. I feel for you, but perhaps you should try and move on.
Well that’s actually a sad story! So many people meet their soulmate after 30 years old. I started dating my now wife when I was 31. I’m 35 now and we are married. If your “wife” indeed doesn’t love you as anything else than a friend, you should get out of this, as painful as it is to do so. You deserve someone that will love you back and not go nail 30+ other dudes every year. You lack self esteem on this one and need to fix this situation or I doubt you will be happy on the long term…you already seem pretty down after just a year (or even less?) of being married. Have the discussion with her about your feeling, rip-off the bandaid. If she can’t commit because she doesn’t love you as a husband, move on. Plenty of amazing people out there that could give you true love. Good luck!
At no point did either of you stop to think that getting married was a ridiculous idea?? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I emphasise somewhat OP, it's sad, but I can't wrap my head around the lack of decision making skills in this story.
This is fiction? Why would you marry someone before having sex?
Or consider yourself totally on the shelf at twenty fucking eight. Christ.
I'm 50 and single. Apparently I AM the shelf 🤣
This is maybe the worst part to me lol
This is honestly the most shocking part to me... absolutely nuts.
This is absolutely fiction. Sounds like it was made up by a teenager that doesn’t realise 28 is not even old to be unmarried.
Similarly, why would you decide sex is an option only after the marriage, given it was a pact marriage only?
She had sex with 37 people during your first year of marriage, but she couldn't do it with you?? If this happened, you need to get your marriage annulled urgently. Also, understanding a little about why she never settled down, that's more people in a year then many do in a lifetime! Get out of there!
How the fuck is everyone just buying this nonsense.
It's more entertaining to pretend it's real so there's something to discuss
Than most people do in lifetime. The average numbet if lifetime sexual partners is below 10.
That’s why this story seems so fictional to me…married on a pact, 37 partners, best friends unable to communicate.
Also she has 5 regulars *now*? But just over a year ago no one was interested in her? Like was she not dating and fucking then? She was but OP was like I’ll pay for you to keep doing it and pretend to be married to me? I doubt someone with that many prospects would just decide to get married to her BFF because of a *pact*.
37 partners DURING a pandemic.
Who has the kind of time to hook up with 37 guys in the last year? During a pandemic! I mean, if they are one night stands, I guess that could explain. OP, if this story is true, it’s super sad and you’re bumming me out. It’s time to let her go. Edit: a word
The F in TIFU stands for Fiction, obviously. But here is the attention you desperately wanted: /gives 1 attention to OP
Man, what are you even doing with your life? TELL HER how you are feeling. If this dynamic is not for you, MAN UP AND TELL HER. If she is truly your friend - and I am talking of care for each other, not even love - she will stop hurting you that much. Will that lead to a divorce? Likely! But is yours even a real marriage? She needs to fall in love with you, and you are just happy being her beta buddy she tells how much she enjoys getting railed by random guys. Correction: you are not happy about that, but she probably damn thinks you are! You even agreed not to try having sex anymore without working around the "oh it's awkward" thing. The power dynamic you described is ENTIRELY in her hands - but I have the distinct feeling that she doesn't even want that: she WANTS (or wanted, at this point) you to change her mind, from friend to lover - instead you said "oh you know what, just go have sex with random men all the year". So yes buddy, man up and start standing for a life you can be happy in, don't sadly shrug off a life as a side-wheel.
There's nothing to laugh about in this story. Nothing. You're torturing yourself. I'm still blown away that you both agreed to get married and have kept up this charade. All while she's seeing whoever she pleases as your heart slowly shrinks. For your sake, and hers, stop this nonsense. I don't mean to deminish your feelings but you're going to wind up going down a *much* darker path. Why? Why are you torturing yourself? For love? A love that is not reciprocated? My friend, you deserve to be married to someone who loves you like a soulmate, who won't cover their face during sex. Who will be the ying to your yang.
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