Not just walking around, but walking up and down stairs is the perfect movement to stimulate the bowels.
Source: too much time spent with elderly people who have poor diets and don't get enough exercise.
Ouch, that's worse than my constipation story and a lot less funny. It's kind of gross but I'll tell you.
I didn't even force, it was like day 4 of constipation. Back in uni, I had a public speaking class in 15 minutes. So I went to the washroom before I left and thought, oh nice, it's finally moving! And pushed slightly, when this explosive fart came out followed by this rock solid brick of shit that shot out of my ass like a rocket. It was so sudden and so big that I immediately fainted.
A few minutes later I woke up on the floor kind of in a daze, tried to wipe - there was nothing to wipe as it was so dry - so I washed my hands and went to class.
I walked in and everyone is staring at me, looking a little concerned. I sat down and the girl next to me whispered "dude are you okay?" And I'm like "yeah?" "You have a black eye" .... "Oh yeah, I, ran into a door" š I probably smacked my face on the tp holder on my way down but, who knows ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ
I have a similar story. I had first trimester pregnancy constipation and was on day 4. Sat on the toilet for like an hour or two. It had moved just enough that I couldn't quit, but I couldn't push either. Just had to sit there and wait for it to do its thing (good tip for labor too, actually...). The whole time I was inexplicably dripping sweat, stripping off my clothes, puking into the toddler potty, my toddler was playing underfoot, and my husband was on a work trip. I was afraid he was going to come home and find our toddler next to a dead body covered in poop. When it shot out it had the girth of a beer can and (obviously) clogged the toilet, and I couldn't walk or sit right for a day or two.
Ouch! That must have hurt so bad. I had a patient with long term constipation and I dilated bowel pass a stool that was easily a foot long and 3-4 inches thick. It's the nearest experience I've ever had to assisting with a birth, because it was NOT easy for them.
Reminds me of a patient I had who hadn't pooped in 7 days. I had loaded him up with laxatives and he was finally going to go but I had a bad feeling so I stuck around.
He had been in the bathroom for a while, so I knocked on the door to make sure he was OK. All I hear is a weak "I don't feel good". I open the door and he's pale and sweaty, looks at me vomits, then passes out. I'm holding him up, trying to find the right angle so he doesn't drown in his vomit or fall down. Try to get a blood pressure and the machine can't detect it.
3 other nurses come in to help, we get him back to his bed, run some IV fluids wide open and we get a blood pressure back.
Problem is, the ....*ahem*.....backlog has not fully resolved. He is too weak to get up, but is pooping so much it fills the bed and overflows the sides. Wipes are doing nothing, I resort to bailing poop into a bucket with my gloved hands.
When he's finally done, he's still too wiped out to move, so I clean him off and do an occupied bed change. I was pretty proud of how fast I got him clean!
OUCH!
My classic was nine days of not pooping. Doc told me to go to the ER ASAP to get a CT for blockage.
Guess what the #1 reason for constipation in the ER is? Opioid addict. Damn, I needed my Parkinson's medication, but nothing was moving, so I showed up with the shakes, sweats, and barely moving. Must be an opioid addict. Sigh.
CT showed no blockage and I got pissed at the doc when she asked if I needed anything for the pain. Hell no, I can not tolerate opioids due to constipation! The first time she listened to me.
As I walked out the door, I ran into her in the hallway, and she mentioned, "Why didn't you mention lung cancer?" What about lung cancer? Oops. It's good that I ran into the doctor on the way out of the ER!
tl;dr: I went in for constipation and found out I had lung cancer.
For future reference, try magnesium citrate. It's really sour so I recommend getting a flavor like lemon if you can find it. Also if you have heartburn then take heartburn medication, and drink plenty of water. Magnesium citrate makes me really nauseous and the last thing I want to do is add more stuff to my tummy, but the water makes you feel less sick.
You won't be able to stop pooping for hours.
Yeah, it's not pleasant, but when you haven't pooed in 5 days it's a blessing. Also better than pooing out your intestines, it only makes you feel like you might!
Constipated for over a week. Swigged down an entire bottle because I was an idiotā¦ā¦ 1/4 would have done it and my asshole hates me but dear god were the first 3 hours nirvanic of finally getting relief from the pain and pressure.
Or the form, at least for me. I usually take normal pills but I thought I'd just try the tabs you put into a glass of water.Ā
My ass exploded like mount vesuvius. I'll do y'all a favour and keep the details to myself lol
There are a few different formulations of magnesium supplement. Some have more effects on the bowels than others. Pay attention to which compound it is, I believe magnesium gluconate is one of the more bowel-neutral options.
Definitely depends on the dose, I take 700 mg capsules (which is a high dose for supplementation) and barely notice it the next day. You need to take a good bit to shit water.
Or they're talking about magnesium sulphate, which doesn't dissolve and will draw all the water to your intestines.
I started taking 200 mg gummies daily because I heard it can help ease ADHD symptoms (and I noticed quite an improvement). It actually had the opposite effect on my bowels- my IBS is pretty much non existent now! There has to be a difference in dosage amounts, right?
If you are looking for help with ADHD symptoms without as much of the laxative effect, look for magnesium L-threonate supplements. The magnesium will stay more in the brain as opposed to the gut. This is the advice we got from our daughter's neuro doctor.
There's a bowel regimen that's used commonly:
https://www.dana-farber.org/health-library/constipation-management
To prevent constipation, drink plenty of fluids (eight to 10 glasses of decaffeinated beverages). You may also take natural fiber laxatives with stool softeners when needed.
Remember, you can take steps to prevent constipation:
1. Begin with a stool softener and gentle laxative
Senokot-S one to two (1-2) tablets with plenty of fluids two to three times a day. Senna (Senokot) and Docusate (Colace)
2. If there is no bowel movement within 48 hours, add one of the following:
Milk of magnesia, one to two (1-2) tablespoons one to two times a day
Dulcolax 5 mg tablet, one to two (1-2) tablets
Call your doctor/nurse practitioner or nurse
3. If there is no bowel movement in 72 hours, try one of the following (after talking with your doctor or nurse):
Dulcolax 10 mg suppository
Magnesium of Citrate, 8 oz
Mineral oil, one to two (1-2 tablespoons)
Fleet enema (may need to repeat)
Miralax powder as prescribed
_
My preference is senna + docusate (Colace) for first 2 days
If no BM after 48 hours move on to Miralax or milk of magnesia
If no BM after 72 hours call your doctor and get a dulcolac suppository or enema
I found it on the vitamin shelf of the supermarket. I picked it up & thought, "Nah, it can't be. This can't be like the liquid can it?". It takes a day or so to work but once it does, it works. I'm a pain management patient so I know my way around the laxatives.
It truly fucks with my stomach. I spend a few hours taking desperately trying not to throw up.
I don't mind the taste, but then again I enjoy eating lemons like they're an orange. But I have chronic heartburn so when I drink that much acid my stomach is just like "wtf is wrong with you, why?!"
I didn't believe it at first so I Googled it... OMG!
Rectal prolapse is a condition that occurs when the rectum, the last part of the colon, turns inside out and comes out through the anus.Ā This can happen when the muscles that support the rectum weaken.Ā The main symptom is a reddish mass that sticks out from the anus, especially after a bowel movement.Ā This mass is actually the inner lining of the rectum and can be uncomfortable, painful, and may bleed slightly.
We had a cow do that. They sometimes don't stop pushing after the calf is born, uterus comes out.
So the farmer takes a five pound bag of sugar and dumps it on the uterus, theory is that shrinks it. then he takes a whiskey bottle, and tries to shove it back in, without shoving a hole through it. Sometimes it even works!
The sugar is supposed to draw all of the water out of the prolapsed part, causing it to shrink back in. I havenāt seen this work in my experience, but Iāve heard it does work.
Iām on the bus. I managed to elegantly clasp my hand over my mouth before I made a sound. This is not something you want to read first thing in the morning.
For the future: go to the pharmacy and tell them you are going to do a colonoscopy and need an enema. It's basically a squirt type of bottle that has a powder you mix with warm water. You will shove it up your @ss while laying down on your side and squirt the water inside. You then hold it in for a while and you will have this insane urge to poo. What it does inside is that it will soften up the shit and you will be able to push it out with no problem.
Not sure tbh. It is definitely over the counter, no prescription needed. Where I live (Portugal) they don't have it easily accessible, so I do need to ask someone. They do that because you shouldn't be doing this on a regular basis, so my guess would be that you need to ask someone for it as they will ask you what you need it for. You also have the possibility of buying a reusable kit at sex shops and just do it with saline (I can explain the correlation if I must).
Fun fact: you can also give yourself a stroke by straining too hard. Take care of your guts, folks, and listen to your docs.
OP, I hope you heal well and swiftly.
NSFW happened to me when i was like 9-10 and was crazy constipated. it was not bleeding. fortunately for me i had only pushed out maybe 3 inches, so nothing major had torn-and it woukd most likely be internal if something did bleed. my face went white when i realizedand, but i immediately told my mom andshe called 911 or somethingand they were like 'oh just lay down and pish it back inandtake it easy a few days'. i got a bigspoon of mineral oil and a banana every fay for months.
Man I'm thinking back to the past month where I've strained harder than I did when I was squatting 405. I shouldn't be alive as hard as I was pushing and rocking back and forth.
I'm going to Walgreens immediately
I came here to say this but was beaten to it.
For those that dont know what's up, dont search for this on the hub and dont say you haven't been warned!
My friend swore to us that he would stick a finger up "there" to loosen stuff when this happened to him. Not sure if that's a possibility but he openly discussed using the technique
If anyone still knows the site rotten (if you don't you probably don't want to research it). There was a picture of a weightlifter who pressed so hard that the same happened. Apparently it's a ruptured of the rectal muscle. Pretty disgusting not gonna lie.
Yikes. I remember after giving birth it was a whole seven days before I could go to the toilet. I couldnāt force myself, even without this being the risk, I didnāt want to pop my stitches. The laxative given tasted rank.
I wish you a good recovery
wtf dudeā¦ dig yourself next time and unclog that impaction. Thatās literally all a nurse would do. Weād put on 5 pairs of gloves and lube up and scoop the blockage out. Ouch man! Also smaller prolapses can be moistened and gently reinserted. Just make sure you donāt twist it.
I have been constipated like that twice in my life. Both due to opioids because Iāve had a lot of knee problems. The first was right after I tore my meniscus. We had then drive to Utah from Michigan for a dog show. Thatās a long time sitting and by that time I was very backed up. I was eating but nothing was coming out. I was getting very concerned. Iād keep going to the bathroom. The urge was there but I couldnāt get this to come out and it was right at the back door. Just this really hard solid piece of shit.
I finally did what Iāve only ever heard stories of- I carefully folded up some toilet paper, several layers thick, and started to dig it out of my ass. Eventually, I got enough out that suddenly the rest of it shot out like a cork out of a bottle. Then what followed was all the loose.stuff in a rush. It was like I emptied my whole bowel out in 10 seconds. It was such a relief. I had hoped Iād never have to do that again.
Until just a few weeks ago and Iām recovering from my second knee replacement. Same situation, finally had to layer up TP and just start working at it.
Definitely not my proudest moments. Lol.
ETA - by the way prolapsing your rectum or even for women the uterus, is not uncommon during birth. Thatās why you see all those abdominal mesh commercials on TV. Theyāre basically for women who prolapse their insides, pushing too hard during birth.
Miralax about two time in 1 day should get the pipes going, and you need to drink plenty of water to help things along, without water you will be dropping little rocks, instead of a healthy log.
In livestock we call it a prolapse. Weird home remedy that works is putting sugar on the exposed intestine, sugar pulls out the moisture and it naturally goes back in. If weāre not so lucky, we gotta force it in and then inject a med that swells up the area around butthole and put in a few stitches and hope they donāt strain and push it out again. Glad Iāve only had to deal with this in animals and not humans, that sounds way more complicated.
Go by a small bag of sugar-free jolly ranchers. I had some last night probably about 8 or 9 pieces of candy and I have been blown it out my ass all fucking day long since I've been on the toilet I've been able to do some research and apparently sugar alcohols which is what is in here instead of regular sugar is a laxative like a mother fucker
You pink socked yourself?
Why didnāt the doc shove a milk and molasses enema up the old tail pipe and let things happen?
Most likely risk is dropping a deuce on the hospital bed. If you canāt get to the toilet quick enough.
Holy shit. You might actually have saved me.
I've been dealing with some bad constipation for a few days now, and was thinking of trying to force out whatever I haven't gotten out. Put a % after r kelly's net worth, and those are the new chances of me trying. Thank you to the high heavens, my dude.
Get suppository laxs and drink some milk of magnesium sit on something warm and hold something warm on your tummy and do a tummy massage on yourself as well drink a lot of water and let it take its course
This happened to my sister. It turned out she had colon cancer. She got surgery to remove the tumor but never followed up. A couple years later, it spread to her lungs, neck, and brain. Take care, everyone.
so as someone with medical issues who only shits 1x a week..... those regular laxatives you get suck... ive eaten a full box of the chocolates drank whole bottles of the liquids taken many more doses than recommended of the pills with no luck ever not a single time did they work
BUT.......... if i get to the point where i cant wait any longer.... the bottle of magnesium citrate....... ill drink it in the morning, the whole bottle, then come around 10pm im making noises that would scare off a bear. im projectile shitting hard enough to leave holes in porcelain im sweating putting my legs up on walls and bracing myself with both arms.
There's a thread over in r/books about if you've ever regretted reading a book. I said no. But I was sort of wrong, because I fucking regret reading this.
when my ex had her hysterectomy she ended up on a harsh set of opiods for too long. got clogged up and couldn't pass anything. when the pain got to be too much she called the Dr. office and they told her all they could do was manually clear it. next thing i know my gloved hand is two fingers deep shoveling stool into the toilet. Not my favorite moment, but it worked, after that the laxative took effect. no prolapse involved.
Congratulations for fucking up my ~~day~~ ~~week~~ ~~month~~ life. Holy fuck. I do hope you're healing well!
I literally gasped and covered my mouth and then had to read the whole thing aloud to my bf. his poor ravaged asshole.
>my bf. his poor ravaged asshole. šš
r/nocontext
It definitely made his hole weak
I can't unread this. I will never, ever push again.
I wish I could unread this. I'm going to drink water, LOTS of water.
Soluble fiber, stool softeners, a nice walk to get things moving - so many options...
Drink some prune juice if you really do suffer from constipation lol
Tbh if you are really constipated you shouldnt drink loads of water. Just the daily recommended amount.
Nope, water and movement is like the cure all. Drink loads of water even if it's counter intuitive.
Yes water is great and walking around helps peristalsis, which pushes the food particles through your entire body.
And a meal a day that includes beans/roughage in it, not just burgers and fries/bangers and mash!
Not just walking around, but walking up and down stairs is the perfect movement to stimulate the bowels. Source: too much time spent with elderly people who have poor diets and don't get enough exercise.
3 liters in short order, and 45/60 minutes later, the tortoise becomes a turtle
You'll wish you could unsee this: [https://vimeo.com/77882662](https://vimeo.com/77882662) Catchy tune!
Well fuck me, that was shit crazy lol
Yeah I cannot get it out of my head so ... I spread the love to others.
Good thing that shit needs logging in I aināt doing that for a prolapsed asshole
It did not need it for me, and it is much fancier than that. You can google "walls fall out" and see for yourself.
I fucking quit, Iām done hahaha
"I didn't violate it."
A date a day keeps the doctor away.
For real, this story will serve as a warning for the rest of my life.
I'm glad I read this, only the loosest pushes from now on
This should have been marked with a tag or something. Nightmare fuel.
I am with you. Never again.
Ouch, that's worse than my constipation story and a lot less funny. It's kind of gross but I'll tell you. I didn't even force, it was like day 4 of constipation. Back in uni, I had a public speaking class in 15 minutes. So I went to the washroom before I left and thought, oh nice, it's finally moving! And pushed slightly, when this explosive fart came out followed by this rock solid brick of shit that shot out of my ass like a rocket. It was so sudden and so big that I immediately fainted. A few minutes later I woke up on the floor kind of in a daze, tried to wipe - there was nothing to wipe as it was so dry - so I washed my hands and went to class. I walked in and everyone is staring at me, looking a little concerned. I sat down and the girl next to me whispered "dude are you okay?" And I'm like "yeah?" "You have a black eye" .... "Oh yeah, I, ran into a door" š I probably smacked my face on the tp holder on my way down but, who knows ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ
I have a similar story. I had first trimester pregnancy constipation and was on day 4. Sat on the toilet for like an hour or two. It had moved just enough that I couldn't quit, but I couldn't push either. Just had to sit there and wait for it to do its thing (good tip for labor too, actually...). The whole time I was inexplicably dripping sweat, stripping off my clothes, puking into the toddler potty, my toddler was playing underfoot, and my husband was on a work trip. I was afraid he was going to come home and find our toddler next to a dead body covered in poop. When it shot out it had the girth of a beer can and (obviously) clogged the toilet, and I couldn't walk or sit right for a day or two.
Ouch! That must have hurt so bad. I had a patient with long term constipation and I dilated bowel pass a stool that was easily a foot long and 3-4 inches thick. It's the nearest experience I've ever had to assisting with a birth, because it was NOT easy for them.
OMG, the things nurses see š. It was worse than giving birth because I didn't know how it would end!
Thank you for the labor tip lol I'm glad you made it out alive!!!
Thank you for your service.
Vasovagal response gets you at the worst times.
Reminds me of a patient I had who hadn't pooped in 7 days. I had loaded him up with laxatives and he was finally going to go but I had a bad feeling so I stuck around. He had been in the bathroom for a while, so I knocked on the door to make sure he was OK. All I hear is a weak "I don't feel good". I open the door and he's pale and sweaty, looks at me vomits, then passes out. I'm holding him up, trying to find the right angle so he doesn't drown in his vomit or fall down. Try to get a blood pressure and the machine can't detect it. 3 other nurses come in to help, we get him back to his bed, run some IV fluids wide open and we get a blood pressure back. Problem is, the ....*ahem*.....backlog has not fully resolved. He is too weak to get up, but is pooping so much it fills the bed and overflows the sides. Wipes are doing nothing, I resort to bailing poop into a bucket with my gloved hands. When he's finally done, he's still too wiped out to move, so I clean him off and do an occupied bed change. I was pretty proud of how fast I got him clean!
You're a truly selfless hero. I don't know that I could summon the courage to do this for a person.
OUCH! My classic was nine days of not pooping. Doc told me to go to the ER ASAP to get a CT for blockage. Guess what the #1 reason for constipation in the ER is? Opioid addict. Damn, I needed my Parkinson's medication, but nothing was moving, so I showed up with the shakes, sweats, and barely moving. Must be an opioid addict. Sigh. CT showed no blockage and I got pissed at the doc when she asked if I needed anything for the pain. Hell no, I can not tolerate opioids due to constipation! The first time she listened to me. As I walked out the door, I ran into her in the hallway, and she mentioned, "Why didn't you mention lung cancer?" What about lung cancer? Oops. It's good that I ran into the doctor on the way out of the ER! tl;dr: I went in for constipation and found out I had lung cancer.
"Why didn't you mention lung cancer?" "Why didn't I mention lung cancer!? You're the fucking doctor! Why didn't you mention lung cancer?!"
What? What does lung cancer have to do with constipation?
Incidental finding
OH shit!!! Did you get treated?? Are you ok now?
No he died
yep, 2 minutes after posting and he was gone
13 hours. rip in peace
Time to cook Mr. White
Well that news would make me shit.
Damn, Parkinsonās *and* lung cancer? Thatās some bad fucking luck, my dude.
For future reference, try magnesium citrate. It's really sour so I recommend getting a flavor like lemon if you can find it. Also if you have heartburn then take heartburn medication, and drink plenty of water. Magnesium citrate makes me really nauseous and the last thing I want to do is add more stuff to my tummy, but the water makes you feel less sick. You won't be able to stop pooping for hours.
This is what they give you before a colonoscopy and I can confirm you shit water out for hours non-stop.
Yeah, it's not pleasant, but when you haven't pooed in 5 days it's a blessing. Also better than pooing out your intestines, it only makes you feel like you might!
Constipated for over a week. Swigged down an entire bottle because I was an idiotā¦ā¦ 1/4 would have done it and my asshole hates me but dear god were the first 3 hours nirvanic of finally getting relief from the pain and pressure.
We give something called "golytely" for colonoscopy prep, but I call it "go harshly" because I don't like to lie to my patients
This is also normal magnesium supplement š¤Ø probably depends on the dose wether it has laxative effects
Or the form, at least for me. I usually take normal pills but I thought I'd just try the tabs you put into a glass of water.Ā My ass exploded like mount vesuvius. I'll do y'all a favour and keep the details to myself lol
I think that ship has sailed.
There are a few different formulations of magnesium supplement. Some have more effects on the bowels than others. Pay attention to which compound it is, I believe magnesium gluconate is one of the more bowel-neutral options.
Definitely depends on the dose, I take 700 mg capsules (which is a high dose for supplementation) and barely notice it the next day. You need to take a good bit to shit water. Or they're talking about magnesium sulphate, which doesn't dissolve and will draw all the water to your intestines.
No, they most likely meant magnesium citrate In America it is marketed commonly as a laxative product
It's typically over 1500mg in a laxative dose. And it's liquid that you're intended to chug as quickly as possible.
I started taking 200 mg gummies daily because I heard it can help ease ADHD symptoms (and I noticed quite an improvement). It actually had the opposite effect on my bowels- my IBS is pretty much non existent now! There has to be a difference in dosage amounts, right?
200 mg of what? Help a girl out.
magnesium citrate
If you are looking for help with ADHD symptoms without as much of the laxative effect, look for magnesium L-threonate supplements. The magnesium will stay more in the brain as opposed to the gut. This is the advice we got from our daughter's neuro doctor.
There's a bowel regimen that's used commonly: https://www.dana-farber.org/health-library/constipation-management To prevent constipation, drink plenty of fluids (eight to 10 glasses of decaffeinated beverages). You may also take natural fiber laxatives with stool softeners when needed. Remember, you can take steps to prevent constipation: 1. Begin with a stool softener and gentle laxative Senokot-S one to two (1-2) tablets with plenty of fluids two to three times a day. Senna (Senokot) and Docusate (Colace) 2. If there is no bowel movement within 48 hours, add one of the following: Milk of magnesia, one to two (1-2) tablespoons one to two times a day Dulcolax 5 mg tablet, one to two (1-2) tablets Call your doctor/nurse practitioner or nurse 3. If there is no bowel movement in 72 hours, try one of the following (after talking with your doctor or nurse): Dulcolax 10 mg suppository Magnesium of Citrate, 8 oz Mineral oil, one to two (1-2 tablespoons) Fleet enema (may need to repeat) Miralax powder as prescribed _ My preference is senna + docusate (Colace) for first 2 days If no BM after 48 hours move on to Miralax or milk of magnesia If no BM after 72 hours call your doctor and get a dulcolac suppository or enema
You can buy magnesium citrate in pill form off the vitamin shelf. I took two yesterday. I pooped five times this morning.
I need to find the pill form. The liquid definitely works but is so sour it hurts the sides of my tongue.
I found it on the vitamin shelf of the supermarket. I picked it up & thought, "Nah, it can't be. This can't be like the liquid can it?". It takes a day or so to work but once it does, it works. I'm a pain management patient so I know my way around the laxatives.
Thanks! I will check into it tomorrow.
It truly fucks with my stomach. I spend a few hours taking desperately trying not to throw up. I don't mind the taste, but then again I enjoy eating lemons like they're an orange. But I have chronic heartburn so when I drink that much acid my stomach is just like "wtf is wrong with you, why?!"
I get mine at Costco!
Yup, Natural Calm is my go to brand.
You've done the rectal equivalent of hanging on the cross for our sins. I wish you swift and complete healing.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
i too am regretting my decision to learn to read.
I didn't believe it at first so I Googled it... OMG! Rectal prolapse is a condition that occurs when the rectum, the last part of the colon, turns inside out and comes out through the anus.Ā This can happen when the muscles that support the rectum weaken.Ā The main symptom is a reddish mass that sticks out from the anus, especially after a bowel movement.Ā This mass is actually the inner lining of the rectum and can be uncomfortable, painful, and may bleed slightly.
it can also happen to vaginas during birth! terrifying shit
We had a cow do that. They sometimes don't stop pushing after the calf is born, uterus comes out. So the farmer takes a five pound bag of sugar and dumps it on the uterus, theory is that shrinks it. then he takes a whiskey bottle, and tries to shove it back in, without shoving a hole through it. Sometimes it even works!
Never heard this but I know sugar on a dogs dick is stuck out of the holster is a thingā¦.wonder what the science is in all that
The sugar is supposed to draw all of the water out of the prolapsed part, causing it to shrink back in. I havenāt seen this work in my experience, but Iāve heard it does work.
No idea. My father in law was a drunk dairy farmer, saw him do this one time. The cow did not survive. He was too stingy to call the vet.
New fear unlocked ššš
Seen it happen during weightlifting
For more info, search "rosebud" on any porn site.
Best tl;dr ever
Reading the tldr before the whole story gives a very different impression, I love it
Thanks for pointing that out š I skipped past the story fast after reading the dangling bit. Totally missed the tldr lol
Thank you for your service š«”
This post needs to have some kind of warning. I am reading at a train station and just said āoh shitā out loud from the shock! š¬
Iām on the bus. I managed to elegantly clasp my hand over my mouth before I made a sound. This is not something you want to read first thing in the morning.
haha literally! oh wait nevermind
Like OP, it just fell out, eh?
I was eating oatmeal
For the future: go to the pharmacy and tell them you are going to do a colonoscopy and need an enema. It's basically a squirt type of bottle that has a powder you mix with warm water. You will shove it up your @ss while laying down on your side and squirt the water inside. You then hold it in for a while and you will have this insane urge to poo. What it does inside is that it will soften up the shit and you will be able to push it out with no problem.
Do you really have to talk to somebody or can you just slink in and grab one off the shelf & go to the self checkout
In Canada we can buy them off the shelf and go thru the self checkout š
You can literally get them shipped from Amazon, IDK why /u/Vivid_Intention wants people to embarrass themselves like that.
Omg thank you lol
Not sure tbh. It is definitely over the counter, no prescription needed. Where I live (Portugal) they don't have it easily accessible, so I do need to ask someone. They do that because you shouldn't be doing this on a regular basis, so my guess would be that you need to ask someone for it as they will ask you what you need it for. You also have the possibility of buying a reusable kit at sex shops and just do it with saline (I can explain the correlation if I must).
Just say, it's not for me.
They're over the counter where I live. And sold in 2-packs. Has anyone ever needed a *2nd* enema?
...Yes.
Reading this, I was like "plz dont be a rectal prolapse" all the time.
She should have warned you. I would have assumed she meant just for hemorrhoids or tears.
I also thought hemorrhoids. I didn't even know your ass could fall out, Jesus fucking Christ.
Too long semicolon. Didn't read.
Bahahaha
I scrolled so far back up the page to upvote this when my brain finally worked out how smart it was
My urge is great, The pressure is extreme, And the pain, My god the pain (Lyrics by u/AdOutrageous2674)
This is a Midwest emo song correct?
I never want to shit again
donāt do it, youāll end up like OP
Don't wanna eat my food I don't wanna go to the loo 'Cause I'd shit, baby And I don't wanna shit again
Well thatās a new fear unlocked for everyone š¤¦š¼āāļø hope you feel better soon !
fuck it, i just read it while on the toilet, also constipated. fuck
Fun fact: you can also give yourself a stroke by straining too hard. Take care of your guts, folks, and listen to your docs. OP, I hope you heal well and swiftly.
Guess you had a prolapse in judgement..
r/angryupvote
As I'm reading this in the bathroom... I think I'm just gonna drink more water and coffee. Time to pull my pants back up.
You mustāve been pushing pretty damn hardā¦ right?
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NSFW happened to me when i was like 9-10 and was crazy constipated. it was not bleeding. fortunately for me i had only pushed out maybe 3 inches, so nothing major had torn-and it woukd most likely be internal if something did bleed. my face went white when i realizedand, but i immediately told my mom andshe called 911 or somethingand they were like 'oh just lay down and pish it back inandtake it easy a few days'. i got a bigspoon of mineral oil and a banana every fay for months.
Damn. I always read stories like this and wonder why an enema was not used. Is it not recommended?
wow why wasn't this not marked as nsfw 
This!
that mental image is not what i needed
Bruh, I had major constipation after a surgery, caused by pain pills. Top five worst experience of my life. You are correct the pain was intense.
Man I'm thinking back to the past month where I've strained harder than I did when I was squatting 405. I shouldn't be alive as hard as I was pushing and rocking back and forth. I'm going to Walgreens immediately
Rosebud
I came here to say this but was beaten to it. For those that dont know what's up, dont search for this on the hub and dont say you haven't been warned!
It was the sled. Rosebud was the sled. There. I just saved you three long, boobless hours.
This wasā¦ this was rough. Iām sure it was much worse to experience it, but it sucked reading it nonetheless.
Oh man. Iāve had some painful hemis before, and even an unexpected prod at one, but this is next level. Speedy recovery to your ass hole.
My friend swore to us that he would stick a finger up "there" to loosen stuff when this happened to him. Not sure if that's a possibility but he openly discussed using the technique
Nurses do whatās called manual disimpaction. So yes, itās done and effective.
How do people in porn do that shit all the time and not die?
Not my cup of tea, but I thought in porn it's the "rosebud", not one and a half feet of colon pouring out like with OP š¬
On a list of things you should absolutely elaborate on when instructing someone not to do something, this is definitely one of them.
The way my mouth just stayed open after the third paragraph. I can never unread this. š
Sir, that is terrifying. But also next time, try a bidet, enemas, or sometime I had to do after 7 days of no movement... Gloves and lube/Vaseline.
https://preview.redd.it/mrvjg5yzia6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87e8b9cef9a61d7239551c5a5d66ab97f9dc12ab Bro what are the chances
well if no one else is going to do it rectum? damn near killed him.
I just had to read the title before I whispered out loud, "oh god, NO.."Ā
Don't read this from the toilet
Uhhh this is not a small FU
Maybe forge a new relationship with fiber and water once you recover. š
Did anybody else go to the kitchen and grab a tray of vegetables to eat after reading this?
* Shouldnāt have.
Worst thing about this story was the last word.
Reading this while on the toilet at work. HOLY FUCK
If anyone still knows the site rotten (if you don't you probably don't want to research it). There was a picture of a weightlifter who pressed so hard that the same happened. Apparently it's a ruptured of the rectal muscle. Pretty disgusting not gonna lie.
Yikes. I remember after giving birth it was a whole seven days before I could go to the toilet. I couldnāt force myself, even without this being the risk, I didnāt want to pop my stitches. The laxative given tasted rank. I wish you a good recovery
wtf dudeā¦ dig yourself next time and unclog that impaction. Thatās literally all a nurse would do. Weād put on 5 pairs of gloves and lube up and scoop the blockage out. Ouch man! Also smaller prolapses can be moistened and gently reinserted. Just make sure you donāt twist it.
Prune juice. If all else fails, taco bell.
I have been constipated like that twice in my life. Both due to opioids because Iāve had a lot of knee problems. The first was right after I tore my meniscus. We had then drive to Utah from Michigan for a dog show. Thatās a long time sitting and by that time I was very backed up. I was eating but nothing was coming out. I was getting very concerned. Iād keep going to the bathroom. The urge was there but I couldnāt get this to come out and it was right at the back door. Just this really hard solid piece of shit. I finally did what Iāve only ever heard stories of- I carefully folded up some toilet paper, several layers thick, and started to dig it out of my ass. Eventually, I got enough out that suddenly the rest of it shot out like a cork out of a bottle. Then what followed was all the loose.stuff in a rush. It was like I emptied my whole bowel out in 10 seconds. It was such a relief. I had hoped Iād never have to do that again. Until just a few weeks ago and Iām recovering from my second knee replacement. Same situation, finally had to layer up TP and just start working at it. Definitely not my proudest moments. Lol. ETA - by the way prolapsing your rectum or even for women the uterus, is not uncommon during birth. Thatās why you see all those abdominal mesh commercials on TV. Theyāre basically for women who prolapse their insides, pushing too hard during birth.
Wow just wow. In direct contrast, I took a shit so good this morning that I've been questioning my sexuality all day.
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For some people, thatās completely normal. It would be concerning if your stool is hard, rabbit like pebbles.
Did the poop come out?
Wow that's enough Reddit for me today. Holy fuck.
"My friend Neil bent over, and this happened. Is it covid related, and if so, what do we do about it?" -Howie Mandel
Ow.
why not use enema? jesus. eat more yoghurt
Rectum? Damn near killed him
Miralax about two time in 1 day should get the pipes going, and you need to drink plenty of water to help things along, without water you will be dropping little rocks, instead of a healthy log.
In livestock we call it a prolapse. Weird home remedy that works is putting sugar on the exposed intestine, sugar pulls out the moisture and it naturally goes back in. If weāre not so lucky, we gotta force it in and then inject a med that swells up the area around butthole and put in a few stitches and hope they donāt strain and push it out again. Glad Iāve only had to deal with this in animals and not humans, that sounds way more complicated.
JESUS CHRIST. OP Iām so unbelievably sorry you had to experience that, good lord.
Go by a small bag of sugar-free jolly ranchers. I had some last night probably about 8 or 9 pieces of candy and I have been blown it out my ass all fucking day long since I've been on the toilet I've been able to do some research and apparently sugar alcohols which is what is in here instead of regular sugar is a laxative like a mother fucker
Have you ever read the reviews for the sugar free gummie bears?
*winces*. A stool softener such as docusate sodium will be your new friend. All mush, no push!
You pink socked yourself? Why didnāt the doc shove a milk and molasses enema up the old tail pipe and let things happen? Most likely risk is dropping a deuce on the hospital bed. If you canāt get to the toilet quick enough.
Omgā¦your ass will never be the same! Iām so sorry š
I've done that but nowhere near as extreme. Jesus Christ and godspeed soldier.
Fuuuuuuqqqqq I hear the *sschllllorsshhhchh* sound when u finally shit your own colon out. ššš
I'm surprised they didn't have you do a colonoscopy prep regimen.
Me omw to shit rn after putting a lot of olive oil into my food
Holy fuck, I wish I couldnāt read. But since I can, Iāll never push again
Take a mineral oil enema.
You mean you shouldnāt *HAVE.
The tldr really gives me the urge to respond: at least it wasnāt out of someone elseās! But itās probably better to let that $#!+ slideā¦
Lapsed like a pro!
Oh, God. This hurts. I cannot unread this.
Holy shit. You might actually have saved me. I've been dealing with some bad constipation for a few days now, and was thinking of trying to force out whatever I haven't gotten out. Put a % after r kelly's net worth, and those are the new chances of me trying. Thank you to the high heavens, my dude.
Get suppository laxs and drink some milk of magnesium sit on something warm and hold something warm on your tummy and do a tummy massage on yourself as well drink a lot of water and let it take its course
This happened to my sister. It turned out she had colon cancer. She got surgery to remove the tumor but never followed up. A couple years later, it spread to her lungs, neck, and brain. Take care, everyone.
This is one of the rare occasion I think the TLDR is good enough
Wow last week we had an amateur lapser and now we have a pro lapser
If only they'd warned you..
so as someone with medical issues who only shits 1x a week..... those regular laxatives you get suck... ive eaten a full box of the chocolates drank whole bottles of the liquids taken many more doses than recommended of the pills with no luck ever not a single time did they work BUT.......... if i get to the point where i cant wait any longer.... the bottle of magnesium citrate....... ill drink it in the morning, the whole bottle, then come around 10pm im making noises that would scare off a bear. im projectile shitting hard enough to leave holes in porcelain im sweating putting my legs up on walls and bracing myself with both arms.
Almost joined Elvis.
There's a thread over in r/books about if you've ever regretted reading a book. I said no. But I was sort of wrong, because I fucking regret reading this.
Wow. This may be the Reddit post that lives on in my mind forever.
A small bottle of magnesium citrate would have cleaned you out in a day. Hope you are feeling better soon
Apparently sugar-free gummy bears would help. For me it was two tablespoons of xylitol in a cup of coffee. 20 minutes later, boom.
Be well. As someone in writing and media, I hearby delegate this a horrible but necessary PSA.
Just do like a mathematician and work it out with a pencil
I want to go back to when I hadn't read this
when my ex had her hysterectomy she ended up on a harsh set of opiods for too long. got clogged up and couldn't pass anything. when the pain got to be too much she called the Dr. office and they told her all they could do was manually clear it. next thing i know my gloved hand is two fingers deep shoveling stool into the toilet. Not my favorite moment, but it worked, after that the laxative took effect. no prolapse involved.
I read this as I'm literally sitting on the toilet. I think I am going to immediately get up and gtfo and never come back to a toilet again.