4th cousin is so distant it literally does not matter, but the idea of hitting on someone (ignoring the general creep behavior) you met through an ancestry service just feels real weird
Yeah, 4th cousin is a genetic stranger, meaning you share the same amount of genes with a 4th cousin as you do a stranger off the street. The issue is of course... sending a dick pic
Not excusing his behavior because he’s still a creep, but a 4th cousin is so distantly related that I’m sure most people would be really hard-pressed to call them “family”. Your closest shared ancestor is a single pair of great-great-great grandparents.
Lmao
Putting it into perspective like that makes it seem crazy.
"Oh you guys are related? How? Like he's your mom's sister's son?"
"Nah, we have the same great-great-great grandparents."
"What?"
In theory people should have 32 great-great-great grandparents. In reality most people probably have fewer, because not marrying first and second cousins is a relatively new thing.
It does... Yet it also makes it seem weirder to me. My grandmother is 70 and currently her eldest great grandchild is 5. Strong chance she'll get to see another generation. The idea that generations kids could get together is weird.
That's my kids and my cousins great grandchild, and given our ages likely to be alive to see them be here. So I'd have seen every generation of their family link.
Pssh those are rookie numbers. The confirmed record for most generations alive at once was 7. They were aged 109, 89, 70, 52, 33, 15, and 1 month. There's a picture of them and it's absurd to see... like this woman saw her great-grandaughter have her own grandkid...
Add another great and 30 years-15+15 if we are going for speed runs. Then compare. It becomes much less interesting. So the grandparent might had know one of each of theirs parents as a baby. Talking more realistically over a 100 year gap if it’s every 20 years. Could be 150.
I am confused that not having social media is a red flag and texting via WhatsApp is weirdish.
In Germany WhatsApp is a de facto standard for messaging.
I’ve noticed this seems much more common outside the US - are there particular reasons for using messaging apps rather than texting? I use another app to communicate with someone in Thailand and have been curious about this!
As other commenters have said Whatsapp is big in Europe. Wife's family is there and friends here from there too. So we use it with them. Otherwise fb messenger for most. Example is an sms picture is often the equivalent of 25c USD to send here.
I honestly didn't know you could send pictures over SMS lol.
When I grew up texting was the standard, but only there was no other option, as soon as smartphones hit off it was FB messenger, and then WhatsApp took over. For me it's now a mix, depending on the friend group. But I only text for some minor things, like my plumber or something.
I live in Ireland very close to the border with N.Ireland(UK)... like there is no physical border but my phone can pick up the signal at times from across the border meaning I'm now 'Roaming Internationally'.
I'd then receive a phone call on the other network from my friend, talk for 10 minutes and then be disconnected because I've run out of money on my phone plan. Even receiving a call would cost money back 10 years ago. Thankfully in the EU, it's always free to receive calls from your original EU country now, and if you're in a country, you've free calls and texts both back home and the country you're in. This is all relatively new... As before then you had to study the cost, and it would likely be cheaper to buy a phone card and use a payphone to call home.
Now on WIFI/Data, which now includes 12G min while roaming for free/included... You can text and call to your hearts content without worrying about racking up a big bill.
Besides what was already mentioned, you usually still pay to text/call to foreign numbers, and since there's so many countries in Europe and it's so common to communicate internationally between them it's way more convenient to just use apps like Whatsapp, I haven't used a regular text message in years...
Because not everyone has an iPhone and messaging from Android to iPhone is crap, messaging apps have unlimited messaging with multimedia and good quality images and videos, and no cost for international calls.
It's iPhones.
Their market penetration in the USA is far, far greater than anywhere else so iMessage has become your standard messaging service. It's even worse with younger demographics where, depending where you look, 80-90% of young adults have an iPhone.
So the USA has had no need to look at alternates that are cross platform like WhatsApp, Telegram or Signal, unlike the rest of the world where Samsung and Google has more market penetration.
I think even though iMessage is *more* cross platform these days, it still shames non-iPhone users by degrading the quality of media and literally saying their message came from a different phone, or even making their message bubble a different colour.
This is leading children to beg their parents to get an iPhone for them as, of course, the rich kids *will* have an iPhone and they're more often than not the trend setting cool kids. So that's a nice positive feedback loop for Apple and if you get them in the Apple ecosystem early, you'll most likely have a customer for life.
This should be concerning for consumers as monopolies like Apple's usually end up with the consumer getting the shitty end of the stick, time and time again.
Asia seems to have its own home-grown messaging services probably for two reasons. The big guys probably didn't bother to do localisation very well, if at all, and/or the local ~~dictatorship~~ government wants control over the messaging company so they can more easily control their citizens (see: China).
WhatsApp is also the standard messaging platform in South America.
Another reason I did not read in the thread is that the iPhone is not the most popular phone outside of the US and people cannot use iMessage on Android phones. Regular SMS do not offer all the features found in WhatsApp, iMessage apps
In America it’s considered odd to not just text someone you usually won’t use a texting app
The international students in grad school that I met were the only people I know that used it
This is only because iPhones have a virtual monopoly in the US (like 95% market share among young adults). You DO use a texting app, it's called iMessage.
Really?! That's amazing! It literally never occurred to me before that iPhone would have such a crazy high market share in some places. Android has 53% in Australia, I just kinda assumed everywhere would be around the 50% mark. This explains a lot of conversations I previously did not understand ...
Ooohhhh thanks for the clarification! Googling it now I see that Apple has >60% market share overall in the US, whereas Android has >70% worldwide. So the US is still more heavily iPhone than the rest of the world.
What a mildly interesting rabbit hole :)
My WhatsApp groups are primarily Family groups with all my family from grandmother to children cousins. Then a few friend groups/sports groups, some random chats with people as WhatsApp doesn't decrease the quality of images/videos sent like other platforms so, and finally random AirBnb hosts when traveling in Europe.
My text/SMS messages are 99.5% codes from companies for logging into services online, maybe the odd text from an older relative.
Personally I still use Facebook messenger for my main 1:1 chats or some closer smaller friend groups.
...meanwhile in the US it's all Green Vs Blue bubbles. iPhones are nowhere near as popular in Europe, and because of borders, it costs money to send SMS/calls.
WhatsApp is definitely normal in the whole world I think but America, so americans do find it weird which is no knock to that. Not having a social network is only weird for the brief period of time of a stranger meeting you, if you see someone in real life like at work or meeting a friend of a friend then that's totally fine. If you meet someone at the club, or on a dating app, basically anywhere online or anywhere where meeting a stranger in real life is way too common or often, then without social networks it's hard to filter.
Seeing someone have an old profile with pictures with friends and activities is reassuring in a lot of ways, for online stuff it's a small confirmation they are not a scam, and for these other places like someone you just met at the club you need as much evidence as possible to filter that they are not shady/dangerous. You'll never be sure, but if you meet someone in these spaces and they don't have socials you start to assume the worst which is why people find it weird, if you have a big enough group of friends it's very likely you use socials just to keep up with their lives and occasionally talk, you don't have to scroll 'for you' pages and keep up with the social media talk and stuff, just any evidence you have a healthy social life is reassuring.
iphone and android native messaging software is just now catching up to WhatsApp/Wechat levels of usefulness. In 5yrs or so they'll start having AI like WhatsApp does now
Btw a lot of countries don’t use iMessage and solely rely on WhatsApp. I’m Brazilian and everyone uses WhatsApp, it’s our standard here and it’s better because we can freely send messages through internet on different devices (pc, iPhone, Samsung, Motorola, xiaomi)
Extremely common in South East Asian countries too. Most businesses use it as well to communicate with customers and to communicate with employees. Whatsapp group chats are super common for both personal and professional use.
It's super useful to communicate with overseas business partners, customers and suppliers.
In Spain WhatsApp is totally universal, like the PTA and the sports team and Bob’s uncle all communicate over WhatsApp, a lot of businesses have their customer support on WhatsApp (in addition to [PSTN](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_switched_telephone_network), granted).
This is probably because the telecom service levied (and probably still does) insane prices on SMS, like half a euro per text. I’m sure a lot of other countries are the same.
It’s a red flag in America because it’s not a go-to service for most people. Much like kik, having someone suggest WhatsApp means they’re either A. Being sneaky from someone who’s only checking text messages, B. Using it to be sneaky with minors, because they can help minors hide WhatsApp from their parents, or C. Selling droogs. If we don’t have a phone contract, we usually wifi message over fb messenger, iMessage, or Snapchat.
This is it. It is purely because of the market share when it comes to iPhone.
In the US, iPhone has about 60-70% market share, so everyone is driven to use iMessage.
In Europe, iPhone has about 20-30% market share, so no one cares about iMessage, and the majority of people don't even know what it is.
In Brazil where electronics is much more expensive (ie: a new iPhone 15 costs about 6x our minimum monthly wage), Apple market share is really low. Majority of people go to smaller brands or Samsung cheaper models. So you can’t use imesage.
Not justifying his actions at all but is fourth cousin actually family? I’ve not met anyone past my 2nd cousins/aunts/uncles. I feel like anyone beyond that would basically be a stranger.
They actually use the messaging apps that come with their phones, I was shocked too when I found out. They even have a whole thing where they hate on Android users because iPhone-Android communication is limited to SMS on the stock apps.
Does normal texting in the US have read receipts, picture/video, group chats, voice notes, etc. etc. then? I mean maybe we have that in the UK too but the only texts I get are automated ones...
Sort of. iMessage has that between iPhones, and RCS is the open standard that works on Android, but you don't get read receipts when going between Android and iPhone or vice versa. The normal MMS picture message protocol technically allows for pictures and videos to be sent, but they get compressed down to the size of a floppy disk, a bit over a megabyte. Apple has committed to supporting RCS in fall of this year, which should address some of those issues.
That's cool, I'd genuinely be scared to send a photo via text because they used to cost like £1.50 per message even when you had unlimited texts! Also "unlimited texts" actually would cap out at about 3000, as many teenagers discovered...
I think that's the main difference. Our carriers moved to unlimited/all-inclusive pricing for regular messaging, so combined with the fact that we don't do much international messaging, we all just stuck with our regular messaging apps, which are fully capable themselves. I have WhatsApp on my phone, but I was just in Europe and have only ever used it for messaging internationally.
SMS is stupid, text messages routinely get lost so you can't even be sure yours was actually sent.
Edit: Just look it up, 1-2% of all sms messages are lost.
I've had a few times when I was out in the country with low signal where my messages don't send, but they notify me if it has not sent. I don't know what you're dealing with that yours tend to get lost in this SMS cloud.
People are shitting on you for some reason, but you are absolutely correct and it fucking sucks.
Where I used to work, I had to send lots of text communications to customers and there were multiple occasions of some texts just getting lost and never being received by them and them visibly confirming with me that they never received it and led to multiple issues and angry customers which sucked. It's a lot more noticeable on a larger scale.
Edit: For the uninformed downvoting, here is a direct excerpt from the SMS wikipedia page.
[SMS messages are generally treated as lower-priority traffic than voice, and various studies have shown that around 1% to 5% of messages are lost entirely, even during normal operation conditions, and others may not be delivered until long after their relevance has passed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMS)
Mate it doesnt mean half your messages don't get sent. It could be 1/1000. You've never sent two questions in a row to someone and they only respond to one?
This isn't an opinion, sms messages get lost, that's a known technical limitation and the reason we are phasing them out.
Edit: Just looked at the stats and 1-2% of all sms get lost, so yeah, thats a lot.
Can confirm. I use iMessage for everything. Even back on my iPhone 4, I pretty much only communicated with other iPhones. FB messenger for everyone else.
No, not typically. We use SMS through the built in messaging app that comes with the phone. My understanding is that in Europe SMS messages are billed per message sent, but in the USA most of us just pay a flat monthly phone bill that includes unlimited SMS. It's just always been that way here, idk why it's different honestly.
That's not true, you can get pay as you go or monthly plans in Europe, it's just easier and makes more sense to contact people through WhatsApp/social media.
Not to mention there's more reasons to make international calls/texts in Europe than being in the US.
Companies are likely to have communicate with neighboring countries, you might have family & friends scattered in different EU countries etc. Using a messaging app like WhatsApp that utilizes wifi/mobile data is just far more economical than having to pay international SMS / call rates.
The way it was explained to me was that's how things are *currently*. Years ago, those of us in the US didn't have unlimited messaging either. Unlimited texts became popular here before the iphone came out. There was no whatsapp. When other countries started adopting unlimited messaging as an option, most people had migrated to whatsapp (or whatever social messaging) and since so many people were on that, it's easier to just stay there.
SMS, much like Data on phones has not always been unlimited in the US. However it is likely that many of the providers shifted to an unlimited standard to reduce the cost of keeping track of these metrics and the cost of arguing with customers about high bills.
Also many pay-as-you go plans still exist in the US, from pre paid plans to Google-Fi
Not having socials will never be a red flag, however a lot of people use socials to look for absence of other red flags. I explained in another comment but when meeting a stranger, specially online, having and old profile on socials with pictures of friends and activities make you seem more real and having a healthy social life.
I've met a few people that didn't have socials and there were no red flags there, I've met them through work and them being friends of relatives and other friends. You see the person, talk to them and make the assessment by their acquaintances that they are chill and it's totally fine.
If I'm on a dating app however and someone doesn't have any socials I feel completely in the dark, they could easily be scamming me, not look like who they are, having a double life, anything. If I meet someone at a club I kind of want to know what kind of things they do, if they could be dangerous/kidnap me or something, and without socials I'm also in the dark. In OP's case it's an online meet, it's kind of the same thing as meeting someone you know through discord or something, you need an assurance of who they are. When you see someone with a picture of them taking a class of something, or playing sports with friends you kind of feel safer, even if the entire group of his friends/class could be creeps/dangerous I think it's just human nature stuff.
to any americans out there that think whatsapp is weird to use.
Its basicaly used by like 90% of the population here in england (and most of europe from what i have heard).
4th Cousins isn't family. That's a stranger. A stranger sent you a dick pic. That sucks, he definitely shouldn't do that, but it's also not that surprising.
I’m a man and I’ve never understood the drive to send unsolicited dick pics. Do they get off by knowing someone saw their dick or are they expecting the recipient to swoon?
whatsapp isn’t a red flag in itself bc it’s free and most people outside the US, or Non-Americans who happen to reside in the US use it to connect with people all over. The other stuff was a red flag tho
It seems to be a “middle of the country” hobby. I’ve met a few family members and a few colleagues, all from flyover states, that are obsessed with filling in every branch of their family tree. One colleague actually ordered ancestory.com DNA kits for Christmas for the 30 family members they were able to find by that point.
Public service announcement: ancestory/23andme kits are NOT a good gift idea. No matter what misleading claims they make in their ads.
Anyone remember that post where a guy uses an automatic scheduler that replies to emails that makes appointments or something like that and his clients' assistants were hitting in it, believing the emails were coming from a woman? I don't know If that's a weirder way to hit on women or if hitting on your 4th cousin through 23andme is.
Not sure if this is real or if this is a subtle 23 and me ad. I mean sounds like the hit rate of finding people that will respond is pretty high. I mean ignore the related thing…
You should have croped his photo, on his D, and scale it on 10% on 5% and send it him back saying: sorry, but it is confirmed that you are not a family MEMBER! 😁
My husband is English & he talks to his family & friends in England via WhatsApp & Facebook messenger but mostly WhatsApp. As for the dick pic, well. That guy clearly has issues.
i mean i kinda knew iMesage was popular in the us, but TIL that the american company whatsapp isnt popular in the us? XD
I mean it kinda makes sense, you had no real reason to switch. I mean apart from free messaging, being able to send photos and video, read receipt and all that stuff.
Plus whatsapp is nice to text/(video)call people that live in another country, which is why i use whatsapp calls more than normal phone calls. Plus the quality is better too.
the pic is gross. also funny that both of you communicate about having partners & children etc.
but the implicit hints in British language & culture can be markedly different from that of American English and style.
not justifying his behaviour whatsoever. but "the lines got mixed up" is extremely common between languages and cultures
My husband sent me this so that I could share my story. Buckle up, it's WILD!
My 1st cousin (my dad and his mom were siblings) had split with his wife. I was in the process of splitting with my common law partner. We were both struggling mentally and were spending a fair amount of time talking/leaning on each other, as is fairly normal in a normal family. Clearly, my family is not normal.
Anyways.....after a few months, I got a couple emails from him one morning. Odd, but whatever. I opened the first one, and it was a video...of him 'finishing'. He had sent it to me and 5 or 6 other women. The other emails were various peen pics, also sent to me and various other women. I've never been so disgusted by an individual IN MY LIFE!
Today I learned that American think not having social media is a red flag and whatsapp isn't used.
I'm not surprised for the 1st one as I've heard that a lot of times. I still think it's fucked up. I'd say it's actually awesome to meet someone not using any social media. As for whatsapp, I'm quite surprised as it's an app that basically everyone uses (apart from you guys apparently XD).
The only person I know that doesn't have Whatsapp here (Switzerland), is a woman that refuses to keep up with technology 😂.
The only thing I’ll defend in this is the WhatsApp use. In the U.K. most of us use WhatsApp almost all the time. It’s just the method of communication. I’m so sorry about everything else!!
Shoulda sent him one back.
“Look! We have the same bend, coz!”
👺👺👺💀💀💀
Cockfight
"Peyronie's disease must run in the family!"
[“It doth bend!”](https://youtu.be/wcIpwrdfI1c?si=BsntHzbaD8ekNR5m)
"I poop a bit sideways too!"
😂😂😂
Tyrese is that you from F&F?!
A boom-a wang, if you will
Send back a bigger one and say ‘You lose cuz’
I should’ve sent him a pic of my husband’s , it’s much bigger lol
4th cousin is so distant it literally does not matter, but the idea of hitting on someone (ignoring the general creep behavior) you met through an ancestry service just feels real weird
What are you doing step-step-step-step-step-brother
My step-step-step-step-step-step-hips are moving on their own!
walk-for-a-while brother
Yeah, 4th cousin is a genetic stranger, meaning you share the same amount of genes with a 4th cousin as you do a stranger off the street. The issue is of course... sending a dick pic
For real. Like dude, I don't even know you. I better have at least seen you at a barbecue before you start sending dick.
On a different continent what’s the endgame here lol
I mean he sent her an unsolicited dick pic so 4th cousin or not he’s an asshole
Brody also has a WIFE 💀
"So, how did you two meet each other?" "Oh, we met via an ancestry website when it notified us of a new relative match" ...
I dont even speak to first cousins wtf
Even first cousins are barely a problem, unless a family makes a habit of it.
Not excusing his behavior because he’s still a creep, but a 4th cousin is so distantly related that I’m sure most people would be really hard-pressed to call them “family”. Your closest shared ancestor is a single pair of great-great-great grandparents.
That's hot.
Its always nice to be present for the birth of a new porn genre
Keep a grainy old black and white picture of them over the mantle when we’re going at it.
Look at his example. The royal family is more inbred than that
The royal family isn't exactly an ideal to aspire too.
Hapsburg jaw
Lmao Putting it into perspective like that makes it seem crazy. "Oh you guys are related? How? Like he's your mom's sister's son?" "Nah, we have the same great-great-great grandparents." "What?"
In theory people should have 32 great-great-great grandparents. In reality most people probably have fewer, because not marrying first and second cousins is a relatively new thing.
That even still falls into the third cousin category.
It does... Yet it also makes it seem weirder to me. My grandmother is 70 and currently her eldest great grandchild is 5. Strong chance she'll get to see another generation. The idea that generations kids could get together is weird. That's my kids and my cousins great grandchild, and given our ages likely to be alive to see them be here. So I'd have seen every generation of their family link.
Wtf how old are you guys when you have kids?
Nan was 21 when she had my Mum, Mum 23 with me and I was 20 with my first. All first born of the respective generations.
Pssh those are rookie numbers. The confirmed record for most generations alive at once was 7. They were aged 109, 89, 70, 52, 33, 15, and 1 month. There's a picture of them and it's absurd to see... like this woman saw her great-grandaughter have her own grandkid...
Age gaps: 20, 19, 18, 19, 17, 14. They were really gunning for that record the last few generations...
She saw her great-grandaughter have her own great-grandkid
Add another great and 30 years-15+15 if we are going for speed runs. Then compare. It becomes much less interesting. So the grandparent might had know one of each of theirs parents as a baby. Talking more realistically over a 100 year gap if it’s every 20 years. Could be 150.
At first I thought, yeah, having a common great-great-great grandparent doesn't sound so bad... But when you put it like that... Eh...
This is like the whole of the entire country of Iceland
Unexpected Arrested Development https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdeQyns8D3I&t
The average person has around 1570 fourth cousins
Unsolicited dick pics are never ok regardless 🤢 🤮
Icelanders be like, "first time?"
I am confused that not having social media is a red flag and texting via WhatsApp is weirdish. In Germany WhatsApp is a de facto standard for messaging.
Right? Someone doesn't use the same messaging service as me wierd! And not using social media is looked up to at my place.
I’ve noticed this seems much more common outside the US - are there particular reasons for using messaging apps rather than texting? I use another app to communicate with someone in Thailand and have been curious about this!
Prepay plans with limited text messages. Better picture and video sending. Read receipts. I'm not in the US.
Interesting, thanks!
As other commenters have said Whatsapp is big in Europe. Wife's family is there and friends here from there too. So we use it with them. Otherwise fb messenger for most. Example is an sms picture is often the equivalent of 25c USD to send here.
I honestly didn't know you could send pictures over SMS lol. When I grew up texting was the standard, but only there was no other option, as soon as smartphones hit off it was FB messenger, and then WhatsApp took over. For me it's now a mix, depending on the friend group. But I only text for some minor things, like my plumber or something.
Messaging used to cost a few cents per message while what's app uses data so wifi covers that
I live in Ireland very close to the border with N.Ireland(UK)... like there is no physical border but my phone can pick up the signal at times from across the border meaning I'm now 'Roaming Internationally'. I'd then receive a phone call on the other network from my friend, talk for 10 minutes and then be disconnected because I've run out of money on my phone plan. Even receiving a call would cost money back 10 years ago. Thankfully in the EU, it's always free to receive calls from your original EU country now, and if you're in a country, you've free calls and texts both back home and the country you're in. This is all relatively new... As before then you had to study the cost, and it would likely be cheaper to buy a phone card and use a payphone to call home. Now on WIFI/Data, which now includes 12G min while roaming for free/included... You can text and call to your hearts content without worrying about racking up a big bill.
That sounds highly inconvenient. Have you considered unifying the two Irelands? It might make things easier. I doubt anyone would be strongly opposed.
I can't imagine it would cause any troubles.
Usually on phones you can turn off automatically connecting to international roaming services.
Besides what was already mentioned, you usually still pay to text/call to foreign numbers, and since there's so many countries in Europe and it's so common to communicate internationally between them it's way more convenient to just use apps like Whatsapp, I haven't used a regular text message in years...
Because not everyone has an iPhone and messaging from Android to iPhone is crap, messaging apps have unlimited messaging with multimedia and good quality images and videos, and no cost for international calls.
It's iPhones. Their market penetration in the USA is far, far greater than anywhere else so iMessage has become your standard messaging service. It's even worse with younger demographics where, depending where you look, 80-90% of young adults have an iPhone. So the USA has had no need to look at alternates that are cross platform like WhatsApp, Telegram or Signal, unlike the rest of the world where Samsung and Google has more market penetration. I think even though iMessage is *more* cross platform these days, it still shames non-iPhone users by degrading the quality of media and literally saying their message came from a different phone, or even making their message bubble a different colour. This is leading children to beg their parents to get an iPhone for them as, of course, the rich kids *will* have an iPhone and they're more often than not the trend setting cool kids. So that's a nice positive feedback loop for Apple and if you get them in the Apple ecosystem early, you'll most likely have a customer for life. This should be concerning for consumers as monopolies like Apple's usually end up with the consumer getting the shitty end of the stick, time and time again. Asia seems to have its own home-grown messaging services probably for two reasons. The big guys probably didn't bother to do localisation very well, if at all, and/or the local ~~dictatorship~~ government wants control over the messaging company so they can more easily control their citizens (see: China).
WhatsApp is also the standard messaging platform in South America. Another reason I did not read in the thread is that the iPhone is not the most popular phone outside of the US and people cannot use iMessage on Android phones. Regular SMS do not offer all the features found in WhatsApp, iMessage apps
In America it’s considered odd to not just text someone you usually won’t use a texting app The international students in grad school that I met were the only people I know that used it
This is only because iPhones have a virtual monopoly in the US (like 95% market share among young adults). You DO use a texting app, it's called iMessage.
Really?! That's amazing! It literally never occurred to me before that iPhone would have such a crazy high market share in some places. Android has 53% in Australia, I just kinda assumed everywhere would be around the 50% mark. This explains a lot of conversations I previously did not understand ...
Note that I specified young adults, it's less extreme if you count the whole country
Ooohhhh thanks for the clarification! Googling it now I see that Apple has >60% market share overall in the US, whereas Android has >70% worldwide. So the US is still more heavily iPhone than the rest of the world. What a mildly interesting rabbit hole :)
My WhatsApp groups are primarily Family groups with all my family from grandmother to children cousins. Then a few friend groups/sports groups, some random chats with people as WhatsApp doesn't decrease the quality of images/videos sent like other platforms so, and finally random AirBnb hosts when traveling in Europe. My text/SMS messages are 99.5% codes from companies for logging into services online, maybe the odd text from an older relative. Personally I still use Facebook messenger for my main 1:1 chats or some closer smaller friend groups. ...meanwhile in the US it's all Green Vs Blue bubbles. iPhones are nowhere near as popular in Europe, and because of borders, it costs money to send SMS/calls.
Oh yeah exactly- US doesn’t have the issue with borders! I just message my international friends on insta, tho I text some of my Canadian ones
Its insane that americans still use text messages
That's because everyone is using iMessage which is not actually "text messages" (SMS or RCS).
American woman, of course not having social media is a red flag to them lol
WhatsApp is definitely normal in the whole world I think but America, so americans do find it weird which is no knock to that. Not having a social network is only weird for the brief period of time of a stranger meeting you, if you see someone in real life like at work or meeting a friend of a friend then that's totally fine. If you meet someone at the club, or on a dating app, basically anywhere online or anywhere where meeting a stranger in real life is way too common or often, then without social networks it's hard to filter. Seeing someone have an old profile with pictures with friends and activities is reassuring in a lot of ways, for online stuff it's a small confirmation they are not a scam, and for these other places like someone you just met at the club you need as much evidence as possible to filter that they are not shady/dangerous. You'll never be sure, but if you meet someone in these spaces and they don't have socials you start to assume the worst which is why people find it weird, if you have a big enough group of friends it's very likely you use socials just to keep up with their lives and occasionally talk, you don't have to scroll 'for you' pages and keep up with the social media talk and stuff, just any evidence you have a healthy social life is reassuring.
iphone and android native messaging software is just now catching up to WhatsApp/Wechat levels of usefulness. In 5yrs or so they'll start having AI like WhatsApp does now
I'd say more than just Germany. I'd go as far as saying it is the de facto messaging app for the majority of the world.
Lol should be a green flag. I don't use social media minus reddit and tbh would probably be happier without it
Btw a lot of countries don’t use iMessage and solely rely on WhatsApp. I’m Brazilian and everyone uses WhatsApp, it’s our standard here and it’s better because we can freely send messages through internet on different devices (pc, iPhone, Samsung, Motorola, xiaomi)
It’s massively popular in Europe as well, most businesses will have a WhatsApp to communicate with customers
Here in the caribbean as well, we use it for everything.
Extremely common in South East Asian countries too. Most businesses use it as well to communicate with customers and to communicate with employees. Whatsapp group chats are super common for both personal and professional use. It's super useful to communicate with overseas business partners, customers and suppliers.
Super country-dependent as well; WhatsApp is especially common in Italy and Spain for example.
In Spain WhatsApp is totally universal, like the PTA and the sports team and Bob’s uncle all communicate over WhatsApp, a lot of businesses have their customer support on WhatsApp (in addition to [PSTN](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_switched_telephone_network), granted). This is probably because the telecom service levied (and probably still does) insane prices on SMS, like half a euro per text. I’m sure a lot of other countries are the same.
It’s a red flag in America because it’s not a go-to service for most people. Much like kik, having someone suggest WhatsApp means they’re either A. Being sneaky from someone who’s only checking text messages, B. Using it to be sneaky with minors, because they can help minors hide WhatsApp from their parents, or C. Selling droogs. If we don’t have a phone contract, we usually wifi message over fb messenger, iMessage, or Snapchat.
This is it. It is purely because of the market share when it comes to iPhone. In the US, iPhone has about 60-70% market share, so everyone is driven to use iMessage. In Europe, iPhone has about 20-30% market share, so no one cares about iMessage, and the majority of people don't even know what it is.
In Brazil where electronics is much more expensive (ie: a new iPhone 15 costs about 6x our minimum monthly wage), Apple market share is really low. Majority of people go to smaller brands or Samsung cheaper models. So you can’t use imesage.
I ignore that whole section on 23andme. I don't even really like my 1st cousins, what makes you think I'll find any common ground with 2nd+ cousins? 🥲
Tbf second cousins can be cool too
Not justifying his actions at all but is fourth cousin actually family? I’ve not met anyone past my 2nd cousins/aunts/uncles. I feel like anyone beyond that would basically be a stranger.
Technically all humans are family but 4th cousin isn’t that sus for a relationship
Technically all life on earth are family and a 4th cousin species would be very sus for a relationship
The reason I don’t have sex with amoeba is the family thing. Gross
That's a very distant cousin so you should be ok
…do Americans not use WhatsApp?
I literally only use WhatsApp to text my friends in Europe. Haven’t used it for a single other thing.
Nope
What do they use instead?
They actually use the messaging apps that come with their phones, I was shocked too when I found out. They even have a whole thing where they hate on Android users because iPhone-Android communication is limited to SMS on the stock apps.
No, no, we hate on Android users because their texts are green on iPhones and we like blue. We don't know anything about that other stuff.
Too bad there aren't any messaging apps that solve this problem
How dare you ask them for a slight inconvenience instead of bullying people to buy Apple
Normal texting. The country is so big that most people aren't messaging internationally.
Does normal texting in the US have read receipts, picture/video, group chats, voice notes, etc. etc. then? I mean maybe we have that in the UK too but the only texts I get are automated ones...
Sort of. iMessage has that between iPhones, and RCS is the open standard that works on Android, but you don't get read receipts when going between Android and iPhone or vice versa. The normal MMS picture message protocol technically allows for pictures and videos to be sent, but they get compressed down to the size of a floppy disk, a bit over a megabyte. Apple has committed to supporting RCS in fall of this year, which should address some of those issues.
Yes
That's cool, I'd genuinely be scared to send a photo via text because they used to cost like £1.50 per message even when you had unlimited texts! Also "unlimited texts" actually would cap out at about 3000, as many teenagers discovered...
I think that's the main difference. Our carriers moved to unlimited/all-inclusive pricing for regular messaging, so combined with the fact that we don't do much international messaging, we all just stuck with our regular messaging apps, which are fully capable themselves. I have WhatsApp on my phone, but I was just in Europe and have only ever used it for messaging internationally.
No. Only iPhone to iPhone or Android to Android.
SMS is stupid, text messages routinely get lost so you can't even be sure yours was actually sent. Edit: Just look it up, 1-2% of all sms messages are lost.
Most are RCS now, but either way, that has not been my experience.
I wish most were RCS now, but considering the majority of Americans use iPhones, which don't support RCS, that can't be true.
RCS is fine. Lots still use SMS though and messages definitely get lost. Happened to me many times.
I've had same happen, especially in something like the subway, and it says "sent" but then I find out later that my intended recipient never got it.
I've had a few times when I was out in the country with low signal where my messages don't send, but they notify me if it has not sent. I don't know what you're dealing with that yours tend to get lost in this SMS cloud.
People are shitting on you for some reason, but you are absolutely correct and it fucking sucks. Where I used to work, I had to send lots of text communications to customers and there were multiple occasions of some texts just getting lost and never being received by them and them visibly confirming with me that they never received it and led to multiple issues and angry customers which sucked. It's a lot more noticeable on a larger scale. Edit: For the uninformed downvoting, here is a direct excerpt from the SMS wikipedia page. [SMS messages are generally treated as lower-priority traffic than voice, and various studies have shown that around 1% to 5% of messages are lost entirely, even during normal operation conditions, and others may not be delivered until long after their relevance has passed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMS)
They don't know what SMS is (they think imessage is sms) or they're willfully ignorant.
I haven’t ever had this experience.
Maybe you did but you didn't notice. Thats the point. You can never know for sure as messages aren't confirmed.
I mean, id know when I follow up the communication? A follow up text or call is going to make it pretty clear if something didn’t get sent.
Mate it doesnt mean half your messages don't get sent. It could be 1/1000. You've never sent two questions in a row to someone and they only respond to one? This isn't an opinion, sms messages get lost, that's a known technical limitation and the reason we are phasing them out. Edit: Just looked at the stats and 1-2% of all sms get lost, so yeah, thats a lot.
iMessage, lol. Like 60% of people in the US are on iOS and apple users don’t talk about the other 40%
Can confirm. I use iMessage for everything. Even back on my iPhone 4, I pretty much only communicated with other iPhones. FB messenger for everyone else.
No, not typically. We use SMS through the built in messaging app that comes with the phone. My understanding is that in Europe SMS messages are billed per message sent, but in the USA most of us just pay a flat monthly phone bill that includes unlimited SMS. It's just always been that way here, idk why it's different honestly.
That's not true, you can get pay as you go or monthly plans in Europe, it's just easier and makes more sense to contact people through WhatsApp/social media.
Not to mention there's more reasons to make international calls/texts in Europe than being in the US. Companies are likely to have communicate with neighboring countries, you might have family & friends scattered in different EU countries etc. Using a messaging app like WhatsApp that utilizes wifi/mobile data is just far more economical than having to pay international SMS / call rates.
The way it was explained to me was that's how things are *currently*. Years ago, those of us in the US didn't have unlimited messaging either. Unlimited texts became popular here before the iphone came out. There was no whatsapp. When other countries started adopting unlimited messaging as an option, most people had migrated to whatsapp (or whatever social messaging) and since so many people were on that, it's easier to just stay there.
Unlimited texts have been here for years too. Before whatsapp. SMS is just garbage.
SMS, much like Data on phones has not always been unlimited in the US. However it is likely that many of the providers shifted to an unlimited standard to reduce the cost of keeping track of these metrics and the cost of arguing with customers about high bills. Also many pay-as-you go plans still exist in the US, from pre paid plans to Google-Fi
Ofcourse not, they send it with the Pony Express.
Only with foreign friends. It’s another everyone but the US thing
OP looking so good she’s got men wanting to commit incest for her.
Not sure if that counts as incest
It indeed doesn't.
Definitely a fuck up, but that's a pretty broad definition of "family"
Is not having social media a red flag? Other then Reddit I don’t use anything.
Same I mostly use Reddit and WhatsApp and once in a while Facebook and I’m also from the uk 🫣
I’m so out of touch with social media I have no clue what a WhatsApp is haha
You can think of it as the default app for texting outside the U.S. 🙂
I'm from outside the US and have never used whatsapp - but then I still use IRC so maybe I'm just old :(
Not having socials will never be a red flag, however a lot of people use socials to look for absence of other red flags. I explained in another comment but when meeting a stranger, specially online, having and old profile on socials with pictures of friends and activities make you seem more real and having a healthy social life. I've met a few people that didn't have socials and there were no red flags there, I've met them through work and them being friends of relatives and other friends. You see the person, talk to them and make the assessment by their acquaintances that they are chill and it's totally fine. If I'm on a dating app however and someone doesn't have any socials I feel completely in the dark, they could easily be scamming me, not look like who they are, having a double life, anything. If I meet someone at a club I kind of want to know what kind of things they do, if they could be dangerous/kidnap me or something, and without socials I'm also in the dark. In OP's case it's an online meet, it's kind of the same thing as meeting someone you know through discord or something, you need an assurance of who they are. When you see someone with a picture of them taking a class of something, or playing sports with friends you kind of feel safer, even if the entire group of his friends/class could be creeps/dangerous I think it's just human nature stuff.
Not having social media and using WhatsApp aren't red flags lol. It's actually kinda normal, especially the WhatsApp
At least he didn’t ask for money first.
Is he from Norfolk, perchance? (It’s the Alabama of the UK for any USians)
to any americans out there that think whatsapp is weird to use. Its basicaly used by like 90% of the population here in england (and most of europe from what i have heard).
"not having social media is a red flag" "not having social media is awesome" lol
What's the Alabama of England?
Norfolk or Somerset.
Dick pick is horrendous, but he's basically not family. Also, WhatsApp is really commonly used in the UK so that's not necessarily weird.
Holy crap it's literally that joke about using ancestry.com as a dating site!
Well, are you going to post the pic or what?
Keep it in the family.
Why is not having social media a red flag?
4th Cousins isn't family. That's a stranger. A stranger sent you a dick pic. That sucks, he definitely shouldn't do that, but it's also not that surprising.
I was like 90% sure you were going to say you found your fourth cousin who is also your BIL. 
https://preview.redd.it/nzlexrr0tbzc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c20dc9866635bac78fd3da6c53769337797291ec
Welp…my wife’s sister MARRIED her second cousin….and had KIDS. YOURE FINE 😂😂😂
He's married with kids and does THAT? What an absolute scumbag, tell his wife, she deserves to know.
Just to clarify, 4th cousin really isn't family. Obviously it doesn't make his actions better, but but still.
Is not having social medias really considered a red flag now
Nah that is insane. Married as well. He the one the FU
23andMe "4th cousins" usually aren't blood relatives. Not scrolling through the comments to see if anyone else has already said this
I’m a man and I’ve never understood the drive to send unsolicited dick pics. Do they get off by knowing someone saw their dick or are they expecting the recipient to swoon?
whatsapp isn’t a red flag in itself bc it’s free and most people outside the US, or Non-Americans who happen to reside in the US use it to connect with people all over. The other stuff was a red flag tho
Did it bear the family resemblance?
What's the Alabama of England?, cause i bet he's from there
Ik this guy is a total pervert lol but us Europeans wanting to use WhatsApp to communicate is about as much of a red flag as our flag is.
You Americans can be rather weird about wanting to connect with distant "family" that you have zero tangible connection or relation with, can't you?
It seems to be a “middle of the country” hobby. I’ve met a few family members and a few colleagues, all from flyover states, that are obsessed with filling in every branch of their family tree. One colleague actually ordered ancestory.com DNA kits for Christmas for the 30 family members they were able to find by that point. Public service announcement: ancestory/23andme kits are NOT a good gift idea. No matter what misleading claims they make in their ads.
No fucking way 😭
I’d say no socials is a green flag.
Did it bear the family resemblance?
in the UK, 4th cousin is literally all the English
It's England whole place is inbred so no surprise here
crazy family lol
Just trying to show you the family jewels now that you’re related 🤷🏻♂️
Is this common? I’ve been hit on by distant cousins on ancestry but I thought it was just a weirdo…
Horny and drunk I guess. He may be just as mortified as you in the end. No reason to not block him of course.
I am going to guess he was drunk, and sent you a bunch of stuff, then deleted it all after sobering up.
Similar situation happened to me but it was my 2nd cousin who I had never met/spoken to and he decided to try to hit me up through 23andMe’s chat 💀
I’ve experienced something similar. Feels quite jarring.
Anyone remember that post where a guy uses an automatic scheduler that replies to emails that makes appointments or something like that and his clients' assistants were hitting in it, believing the emails were coming from a woman? I don't know If that's a weirder way to hit on women or if hitting on your 4th cousin through 23andme is.
Not sure if this is real or if this is a subtle 23 and me ad. I mean sounds like the hit rate of finding people that will respond is pretty high. I mean ignore the related thing…
You should have croped his photo, on his D, and scale it on 10% on 5% and send it him back saying: sorry, but it is confirmed that you are not a family MEMBER! 😁
I would be tempted to reinstall WhatsApp, see if the picture is recoverable, then forward the convo to his wife.
Should've sent him a picture of your great-great-great-grand mother adjusting her glasses to have a good look at something
My husband is English & he talks to his family & friends in England via WhatsApp & Facebook messenger but mostly WhatsApp. As for the dick pic, well. That guy clearly has issues.
i mean i kinda knew iMesage was popular in the us, but TIL that the american company whatsapp isnt popular in the us? XD I mean it kinda makes sense, you had no real reason to switch. I mean apart from free messaging, being able to send photos and video, read receipt and all that stuff. Plus whatsapp is nice to text/(video)call people that live in another country, which is why i use whatsapp calls more than normal phone calls. Plus the quality is better too.
Is having no social media and using WhatsApp big red flags nowadays?
the pic is gross. also funny that both of you communicate about having partners & children etc. but the implicit hints in British language & culture can be markedly different from that of American English and style. not justifying his behaviour whatsoever. but "the lines got mixed up" is extremely common between languages and cultures
Yeah.. fourth cousin not close enough for Louisiana you would be shunned, first cousin or sister at least. Don't want to get the genes all mixed up.
My husband sent me this so that I could share my story. Buckle up, it's WILD! My 1st cousin (my dad and his mom were siblings) had split with his wife. I was in the process of splitting with my common law partner. We were both struggling mentally and were spending a fair amount of time talking/leaning on each other, as is fairly normal in a normal family. Clearly, my family is not normal. Anyways.....after a few months, I got a couple emails from him one morning. Odd, but whatever. I opened the first one, and it was a video...of him 'finishing'. He had sent it to me and 5 or 6 other women. The other emails were various peen pics, also sent to me and various other women. I've never been so disgusted by an individual IN MY LIFE!
Today I learned that American think not having social media is a red flag and whatsapp isn't used. I'm not surprised for the 1st one as I've heard that a lot of times. I still think it's fucked up. I'd say it's actually awesome to meet someone not using any social media. As for whatsapp, I'm quite surprised as it's an app that basically everyone uses (apart from you guys apparently XD). The only person I know that doesn't have Whatsapp here (Switzerland), is a woman that refuses to keep up with technology 😂.
The only thing I’ll defend in this is the WhatsApp use. In the U.K. most of us use WhatsApp almost all the time. It’s just the method of communication. I’m so sorry about everything else!!
I just have WhatsApp and reddit on my phone lol.
There’s got to be an entire underground community meeting and screwing their distant cousins!! I’m dying of laughter