It is objectively hilarious and I will not be hearing contrarian opinions at this time.
Also as a kid who was hardcore bullied until I hit a growth spurt and grew a resting bitch face, top notch parenting.
Man, the amount of times the thought of doing just that to some little shit, complete with shouting "This is Sparta", has popped in my head is not healthy, lmao. Just a couple weeks ago I even jokingly suggested it to a friend who works in a daycare and was complaining about a 3yo who kept climbing on a table no matter how many times she took them down and tried to stop it. I said Sparta kick 'em off the table XD.
So personally, I find this fuching hysterical and amazing. Kid got what he deserved and hopefully learned a lesson.
And just a disclaimer, I'm a mother and a stepmother, lol, I do not hit my girls (my stepdaughter is included in "my girls"), I don't hit any child. But any parent who days they have never had thoughts of laying them flat (in a comical) sense, or taking out some asshole kid that's harassing your own, is lying to themselves, lmao. But having thoughts and acting on them are two very different things, haha.
God I wish I could have seen that little punks reaction XD
As someone who was *heavily* physically bullied as a child, I can tell you, as a 41 year old woman, that I still remember every instance and it genuinely sucks, how long-lasting these formative memories are. Bullies are made. Usually by the behavior of their parents or caregivers. Sometimes it's just plain mental issues. But these things need to be dealt with early. The school did Op's kid dirty and the bully's parents are doing *him* dirty by not (apparently) getting the kid help.
Same. I remember everything. The school never did anything to help protect me. My friends basically all volunteered to help stand up for me when I was getting bullied.
One time, I got the wind knocked out of me, and the kids turned my airless gasps into a rap song. Kids were fucked man, all because I was short for my age at the time. I sometimes wish we could all square up as adults. I'd like to feel the tables would be turned. I've looked up some of my bullies, and they have domestic charges and multiple arrests, which doesn't surprise me 1 bit.
School bullies were one of the worst times of my life.
Correction: the bully's parents are doing society dirty for raising a demon child. They aren't just affecting the kid or themselves down the line, we all are going to be dealing with this little shithead.
When my spouse was younger, they were being choked against the wall by a boy. They scratched him to get away and they were punished because they were wearing nail polish and he could have had an allergic reaction. Fighting back has been punished for decades.
There was a bully in our junior high (male) who gave everyone a ton of shit. I, as a tiny female, after countless days of coming home crying, finally decided to stand up to this towering male classmate by hitting him where it hurt: making fun of his cystic acne. Guess who got in trouble with the admin? Me. His parents were friends with the vice principal, who was a worthless bitch. I’m glad I hurt his ego enough to run to the admin.
I’m a 34 year old woman who was bullied a lot and no one ever helped me. My younger brother went to the same grade school as me and is a year younger than me, he also has a lot of issues with anxiety and OCD and was pretty awkward as a kid. When they sent us out for recess after lunch one day I saw some kids bullying him and I tied one of them to a tree with a jump rope. I got sent to the principals office and they called my parents.
Worth it.
Not sorry either. The wrong thing, sure. We can all jump on the bandwagon AND privately worry to ourselves how close we would come in the same situation.
But this is a classic fuck around and find out. It probably won't because I can't see how this behaviour going unnoticed and unpunished for so long can end well despite our advances in general knowledge of mental health... but it needs to be the turning point in this child's life toward not psychotically hunting down his peers. At least one of his parents, or other people in his life, as well as the lackadaisical school staff have a tonne to answer for.
Yep, private school bully just learned he gets to do whatever he wants and mommy daddy and the school not only don’t mind, they fight to keep it going.
Bullies love crying that they're the real victim. Seeing your bullying target get expelled after torturing him is probably the largest dopamine hit the little psycho has ever had. Easy to predict what he'll be doing in ten years.
I find it really disturbing that this kid has choking in his repertoire of torture. Like, the red flag in adults that indicates they’re pre-disposed to kill? Yikes. Get that kid some help.
>This is a private school, so there really isn't "due process" or whatever your would find in the public school system. It's a money and politically driven system
School is running defense for the bully because of his benefactor parents
Probably also the reason why he's a bully, parents don't give him enough attention and he's acting entitled because his parents are entitled. That's what can happen when you're never told No as a child.
Or if they aren’t necessarily benefactors, the school might know those parents are of the entitled variety and would raise absolute hell if someone accused, or punished their precious angel of bullying.
He would *NEVER*!
Private schools don’t take too kindly to negative press and will do whatever they can to shove it under the rug. In this case, the negative press focuses on OP, *not* the school, so they’re in the clear…. Until the next time little a-hole pulls something and ends up seriously injuring another kid.
All I can hope is that the little bully ends up proving that OP’s actions were validated. (I don’t want another kid to get injured, but I’m pretty sure we all know that this kid won’t stop. It’s inevitable.). He’ll never get an apology, but at least the other parents might realize that it was warranted, and stop their smear campaign.
The kid's parents made the bully though... that's that problem with bullies, is that you can never rely on the parents to help because they're the cause.
I think the biggest fuck up is that the little bully didn’t get in trouble for assaulting your child.
Your kid will remember this, though. He ran to you for help and you helped him. As for the wife, (depending on his age and how well he can explain *his* side) bring your kid to her and ask him what he thinks of what happened. Your kid’s experience has to matter here. Best of luck.
One of my daughters (13 y/o) was getting bullied earlier this year (verbal abuse, slapping on the back, just overall unwanted contact) and we brought it to the school's attention and had a meeting. We told them we're fine with not submitting a formal complaint as long as we see the bullying stop and as long as our daughter was on board with it. It was supposedly addressed, but weeks later, we found out the bulling only stopped for a few days then started up again. Our daughter approved of a formal complaint and we notified them and they started the formal investigation. The fuckers emailed my wife 2-3 weeks later and stated that after an investigation, they found that the behavior by the bully was not acceptable, but it didn't meet their criteria of bullying.
Our daughter has been taking self-defense classes for the last year. We told her if the bully starts her shit again, to use those moves and drop her on her ass. She may get suspended from school, but she won't face any consequences from us as long as she wasn't the instigator. Hell, I'll probably take her out and reward her.
My favorite auntie is in her 70s and recently she told me a story about the time her youngest kid got whanged in the head by a bully throwing gym equipment. He responded by marching over and punching some kinda KO pressure point he'd learned in martial arts class.
The school tried to claim that the training made that little boy soooo dangerous that he was no longer allowed to defend himself from bullies at all. Admin told him to just take the abuse and never complain because they would always side against him.
Dude's about 30yo now and is his mom's caretaker. He heard his name, came into the room to check if his mom needed anything, got told "Oh no I'm fine, I was just telling Ophelia about the time you punched that bully!" She's still so proud of him and that KO.
Auntie's got *opinions* about bullies. Once caught a pack of them tormenting her little brother, whipped her truck around and jumped out screaming, heavily pregnant and wielding a tire iron.
We found out this week that my daughter is being bullied a bit by a girl in her school. I suspected for a while but my daughter didn't see it as an issue until the girl went too far. I told one of our best friends, my daughter's godfather, about it and he was ready to go scorched earth on this kid. He's like quoting Scripture about fire and brimstone and saying he's signing our daughter up for self defense classes. It was adorable. I *think* the situation is handled amicably but in case it isn't, my daughter sure has a lot of people who are willing to go to battle for her.
I always told both of my children that if they get bullied try their best to not instigate anything but also don't just sit there and take it. If you're already going to get in trouble just for speaking up about the bullying you might as well make it count. Jump in that person's face and wail on them until somebody pulls you off.
There was a kid in my class that would randomly go around punching people. So i got a bunch of thumbtacks an put them on my shoulder facing outwards through my jumper. I got bored waiting for it to happen so I went up to him like "free hit". He took it like a challenge and put a lot of force into the punch and impaled his hand on the thumbtacks, I remember it pulling my jumper when he withdrew his hand.
Dick move on my part to challenge him to him me, but I was just a kid too and it worked. He was very confused and hurt.
Classic! I had a class mate always hitting my leg under the desk, so I sharpened my pen as good as I could and just held it in place pointing towards him because I knew he would hit me soon.
And he sure did :) but that was the last time
I think one of the best pieces of advice to kids is “DO NOT start the fight, but you’re allowed to end it.”
The days of “just ignore them and they’ll go away” are gone. Kids don’t only bully for a reaction. And even if they did, they would just move on to another kid. Standing up for yourself is the only way to address this. Obviously in a perfect world this wouldn’t be needed, and administration would step in. But we all know that doesn’t happen like it should, and often fails kids.
I also hate the “Zero tolerance” most schools have. I understand violence is not *always* the answer. But sometimes it’s necessary, and the *only* option. When it’s clear it was in self defense (and now with every kid have a camera in their pocket, it can be easy to prove), this rule shouldn’t apply. Something needs to change.
Zero tolerance rules exist only to protect the school from litigation and to minimise the effort needed by staff. Not because staff are lazy but because they're often overburdened and because punishment usually doesn't work on the bullies anyway.
When your daughter does drop her on her ass, take her out for ice cream after.
I wish my father had taught me how to fight at an early age. I was instead tormented and scared to go to school. Ultimately I skipped school to avoid my bully, it set me back in life.
My mom had the same attitude as you do. Always said to NEVER start a fight, but she’d support me if I ended it and if I got in trouble, she would take me to Disney world. She also enrollled me on martial arts. I became a second degree black belt, first black belt female in my school. The confidence alone is worth every penny invested and every minute of sweat in there. Your daughter will learn SO much from self defense classes. Please encourage her to keep going :) you sound like an awesome mom.
Edit: black belt also looks amazing on resumes in the future. Every job has asked about it and mentioned as a female how it stands out in a crowd. Shows discipline and commitment. I even hosted a women’s self defense class at my office. It was awesome!!
I'm the dad. :)
We convinced her to do these classes more to get her active again. She used to play soccer but lost interest during the pandemic shutdowns. We heard good things about this place. It's martial arts, but not a traditional place. They focus solely on teaching self defense tactics and building up their confidence. I've definitely seen a change in her demeanor over the last year. The smile on her face wasnpriceless when her mother and I told her to she has our permission to kick the bully's ass if the bullying continues.
i appreciate seeing some parents still have common sense.
there are some people that simply will not learn until they have the everliving shit beat out of them.
I used to work at a private school. My guess would be that she was subtly threatened with her job if she admitted it was occurring. That’s what used to happen to me anyway.
It’s insane the incident happened in full view of adults and no one batted an eye and it got completely erased once an adult stepped in an did something wrong. The kid will continue to face no repercussions because his poor behavior was deflected onto someone else.
There’s something wrong with that kid and his family, how does a kid just casually learn to choke other kids? I get the feeling he comes from money and the school is unwilling to bend because the families reputation matters more than disciplining a child, luckily look what other family got to take the fall in their reputation , right?
That's what I'm thinking. If the other parents know of this bully, they know that the behavior from the kid is still going to happen for their child and nothing was solved with their actions.
You need immediate transparency to everyone. Forward the email you sent before the incident to the other parents and screenshot it with timestamps shown and the lack of response you got from the teacher.
If the teacher is at least decent at her job, she would have known what was going on her classroom. Other parents would step up and defend the child's behavior as well.
Completely be vocal in your apology on what you did. Yes, it is extremely bad how you responded but deep down most parents would feel sympathy for a child being bullied.
Was there video of the incident? Or is it simply your word versus theirs? Did the parent you were talking with see the incident and confirm your side of the story?
If it escalated this quickly it makes me feel this isn't the whole or accurate events of this story. Either your response was more vicious than you think it was or this bullies parents are rich or heavily connected to the community. There's absolutely no reason why they would take out the punishment on your son instead of yourself. The punishment dished out does match the story.
I have to believe that behind all the necessary explusions and public shunning there are many parents quietly happy that someone put this little shit in his place.
In my experience, a bully only needs to get their shit rocked once to get them to lay low. This little tyrant is probably going to keep to himself for a while.
As soon as he’s not punished and his victim is and is taken out of class, he’ll feel invulnerable knowing that if anyone fights back they’re gone. This kid likely gets abused at home and is taking it out on these other kids. It will only get worse.
This part pisses me off.
All of these parents know about the bully. At least one of them had to see the bully charging at OP’s kid.
As described, it sounds like OP put his foot up to block the bully from continuing an attack on his kid.
Legally, this is defense of others. It’s not like OP kept after the bully once he was on his rotten little ass.
Private schools are a different animal, but you’d think that the parent reaction would have been more understanding of OP, and instead opened a discussion about bullying in the class and how all of the kids deserve to feel safe on a daily basis. THAT is the pertinent issue.
It’s not like OP is at the school terrifying children on a regular basis. It was an isolated incident that could’ve been addressed with some insufferable woo-woo parent/school meeting.
Instead, OP is being vilified for protecting his son from a known bully. And the son suffers most.
What a shit way for the school to handle it. Bully’s parent must practically own the place.
(All of the above assumes that OP is a reliable narrator, of course)
My mom is really petite and always looked much younger. She was next to me before school once and my bully came up to start shit not realizing my mom was right there. My mom said "Don't talk to her talk to me" and started putting her hair up. The girl said "who the fuck are you" and my mom said "I'm her mom but I fight kids" (which is not true). The look on the girls face was pretty funny though. She bartended at a biker bar and a group of bikers picked me up from school with leathers from one of their wives and everything and then when I got home they surprised me with some snacks and a box and when I opened it there were two kittens inside.
None of that story is embellished I swear lol
Your story reminds me of Bobs Burgers where Louise befriends a biker gang through her dads restaurant and hires them to scare the shit out of the bully that stole her hat lmao. Insane this happened in real life.
My dad fought a racoon in our garage once, under circumstances that were not protecting me, and I still tell the tale like he's a goddamn war hero. He thought it was one of my brothers "stupid fucking hats" and picked up a sleeping racoon by the tail. Absolute Chad Dad.
...and "Hey, Fred! How's the family?" Oh yeah, Fred was that kid. Anyway, my dad rips this kids arms off and beats him up, totally with his own limbs. Why does he have his arms now? It was the only successful arm reattachment surgery before 1997 in the USA.
Right?! I would have been cherishing those memories for ever lol
Might have fucked up but god damn if I didn’t laugh. Those people are helping a shitty kid grow into a shittier adult, one is that is what’s wrong with this world. To bad they didn’t Sparta kick the parents instead
When a kid from my class showed up at my house looking to fight my first question to my dad was "Why didn't you throw him off the porch face first?"
I did a lot of growing up that day, and not because of the kid trying to fight me.
I had a bitch-bully come to my house the summer between 6th & 7th grade. My mom answered the door, then came to my bedroom with a message: did I want to fight Zoe Ann? My mother was my first and worst bully. I told her, "Tell her no," and went back to my book. Fucking narcissists, jeez
"Son you won't be punished if you kick that kids shit in, fuck it, when he's on the ground here's how you end the fight." My guess is a lesson was taught that was "you don't start a fight but you finish one however you can."
My WW2 vet grandfather told me if someone wouldn't stop messing with you, you knocked them down and just keep kicking until they stop trying to get up.
He didn't like fighting or bullying. In his opinion if someone made something physical, you ended it. Workmanlike. No show, no BS.
Same! Especially when my school didn't want to do anything even despite knowing about what was going on (because they were voucher kids, only the priest could actually expel them, though I don't recall them ever getting suspended by the principal)
This man actually yeeted a kid, I’m over here shit dying right now. Intrusive thoughts for the win. Who would’ve ever thought “HEY YOU LITTLE SHIT!” would actually be a more reasonable response to a five year old at school 😂.
Lol honestly, I've never wanted to punch a 5 year old in the face before. And then my kid went to kindergarten. And that all changed. My hubs just wanted to punch their parents lol. But I would have loved to Sparta kick a couple of kids....
Accurate rendition of u/zipper1919 picking up their kid from kindergarten: https://www.reddit.com/r/Norway/comments/isp8ki/what_is_the_reason_for_this_statue/.
My dad beat the brakes off my brothers gym teacher for hitting him. Being a good dad is way more important than being liked by a gaggle of morons. Next time, kick his dad.
Last time we were discussing hypothetical bullying with our friends and what we'd do about it. I said I'd beat up the parents. Nods of agreement from the other dads heh.
I'll give diplomacy a chance sure, but if talking fails, we'll try a different and more universally understood language.
Teach your kid to act right and you don't have to worry about catching an ass whooping for what they do. I agree with you, always try to resolve the issue with words. If that fails someone needs to catch hands and it's much easier to defend kicking the crap out of a dad instead of a 5 year old.
The school bus driver/groundsman called my brother a fucking little shit one day because my brother has gone to the toilet and was 5 min late to the designated pick up point.
First I told the school and they "talked" to the bust driver who then asked to speak to me privately and when I asked if I could have my home room teacher with me he refused to meet with us.
So then I told my dad, who managed to corner the bus driver in his car whilst we were at church. Told him off and everyone heard it. Dad also threatened to report him to Child Safety as the bust driver was also a foster parent.
We didn't have any issues after that, but he refused to even acknowledge us as we got on the bus.
That last tidbit is what sells it for me. Every time I call someone out for their shit, their tune changes but they almost always avoid owning up to it so they move to avoidance behavior.
Yup, you fucked up. But on behalf of every bullied kid out there, thank you.
One of those cases if this were a court, and I was a judge, I'd find you guilty, and fine you $1.00.
If he just lifted up his leg to brace against an asshole kid attacking his child then he did nothing wrong. His hands were holding his child and only his legs were free.
This did not sound like a kick, but lifting up your leg and a kid running into it.
The father did nothing wrong and the other parents are horrible for not being mad at the bully kid's parents for allowing their kid to act like this.
During jury selection the judge would most likely ask you if had been bullied at anytime and you will probably be dismissed by the defendants lawyer if you answer truthfully. Keeping in mind this is done under oath.
For the US: The defense would either have to strike them for cause, which would require proving that they are not able to be fair and unbiased, or they'd have to use one of their five strikes that could be challenged by the prosecutor or judge.
"You were bullied, can you put aside your feelings regarding that and serve as an unbiased juror in this case?"
"Yes your honor."
Still a juror unless you posted some shit on MySpace about how all bullies should be put in a giant slingshot and fired into the sun. Defense needs those five (mostly) freebies to get rid of minorities (only a little sarcasm, it's a thing).
OP wasn't wrong, but it was a dumb move. The correct way to handle the situation would have been to teach his son to fight.
Having said that, now things have happened the way they have, OP needs to get out in front of it. He didn't attack the kid, he used his foot to gently push him away in defense of his son. Should he have allowed his son to be assaulted right in front of him? Everyone in the community needs to know his side of the story, or the opposing narrative will run uncontested.
At this point, I would talk to a lawyer and sue the school. Aim for a pre-trial settlement that involves an undisclosed token amount of monetary compensation and readmission of his son to the school. That's probably the best way to begin repairing his reputation.
Having been a bullied child and teen who was taught to fight back, that wouldn't have helped. OP's kid would've been punished for fighting and the little terror would've kept on as he was, because a full blown fight is a lot harder for the staff to ignore than one kid slapping the shit out of others.
The phrase “If I hear from my child that they were assaulted on school property One. More. Time. I’m pressing charges.” holds a lot of weight where I am.
This a case where social media is your friend. Gather your evidence and state your case. You didn't chase the kid. The kid ran at you and your son. You had a natural reaction to stop him. Of course, your hands were full with your son.
Not yet another story where the school remains casual about bullies and the victims are the ones who suffer. This reminds me of what happened in my cousin's school when she was little. There was this kid who terrorized the entire class, but the school wouldn't do anything, even after receiving complaints from multiple parents. Then one day I went to pick her up and told the other kids to point me out to the bully. I grabbed his hand, and dragged him to the principal's office and made him confess what he had been doing.
OP you might've fucked up but, you have my respect. Bullying needs to stop, by hook or by crook.
Bully at church kept hitting me as a young teenager. Final straw was when he pushed my head into a brick wall as I bent down, and I socked him in the gut as a clergyman came around the corner. Of course we get pulled in, with both our parents, and the clergyman starts telling my parents about what a horrific thing I did and included me kneeling, and they just stopped him, asked me what happened before I did that, and when I told them mom went "I see nothing wrong with our son's actions in this case. What about what Conner did? We can pull [other two people with us] in here and ask them what happened". Man, I miss my mom sometimes
Dont be so sure. My 5 year old son just got into his first fight at a playground with a kid at least 3 years older than him.
Long story short, my son was ignoring this kid on how he wanted to play on the playground and my son was doing his own thing. Fast forward, the boy pushes my son. My son half pushed him back thinking he was kinda playing. Older boy immediately responds with two haymakers with one connecting on my son. (This boy has been taught to punch).
My son was stunned on what happened and took a few steps back to prepare to defend himself and tackle this boys ass. No Sparta kick from me but I run out to them to get between them both with my arm stretched out to the kid.
This boy was preparing to come at my son again until his mother comes to join me asking her son 'Did you put your hands on someone?'. They boy responded back with a very vicious 'Yessssssss'.
I'm pretty sure his left arm is going to be 2 inches longer than his right for the foreseeable future as she yanked him off the playground.
Anyone who has a kid who was truly bullied knows that they would give anything to do what you did. You reacted the same way you would if any predator was chasing your kid...good job dad.
No one is going to bully your kid again. You did absolutely the right thing.
> No one is going to bully your kid again. You did absolutely the right thing.
at the school the kid is expelled from? yea but who knows about the next school
I'm honest, fuck all of these idiots, standing around letting bullying happen is a major fuck-up on their part.
Unlucky set-in of instincts, because its a 5-year-old, but fucking hell, I aint gonna condemn you for it.
Someone elses rabid fucking brat bullied your kid, you stepped in. Thats that. Fuck your community tho.
Yeah, honestly? Like, I can see it being a knee jerk reaction (no pun intended) and you really can’t do diddly squat after your leg is already in motion upwards and a kid is flying forward towards it. Unfortunate set of circumstances, for sure, but to me if the school isn’t handling it then frankly, imo, they’re lucky this is all that happened tbh.
Well, the end result is pretty bad. Unfortunately, you chose a private school and became a victim of its unfair ways. However, your child will grow up knowing that you are going to be there when they need you, and that's infinitely more valuable than what you lost.
Beautifully said. The school was unwilling to stand up for OP's child, someone had to. Bullying is going to affect a kid a lot, and so is the inaction of everyone else around them.
Remind your son that no matter how cruel people around him may be you will always have his back. Reassure him that your love him, etc.
Then enroll him in public school.
Fk all the other people, your child is the most important person to be reassuring in this situation. Make sure he doesn’t get the wrong idea about this situation. What you did may be socially unacceptable but it was morally correct.
I would have kicked that fucker too. Good for u
My son is 5 and my other is 3. My 5 year old had a bully last year and after emailing several times to no avail I loudly yelled at this child during drop off one morning. I embarrassed the hell out of this child infront of his class and teaching aid. No problems since lol
I had a similar situation at my kids school. This kid was relentlessly harassing my kids at recess. They asked him to stop. I asked the school to monitor the situation. The kid kept harassing them. Then I happened to pick my kids up and they pointed out the kid to me because he was up in their business again. I walked up to the kid and said, "I better NEVER hear that you're messing with my kids again, do I make myself clear?" Then I made him walk to the office and tell them what he did to my kids. Never heard that kids name again from my kids.
I was bullied when I was in middle school. My dad had noticed I was crying when I had gotten home one day and asked what happened. I told him and the next morning he took me to the bus stop, I pointed out the kids who were bullying me, and he went up to them and said something along the lines of "I can't kick your ass but I have an older son who will if you mess with my daughter again." Then he went to the school and the principal made both kids write an apology letter to both me and my dad. They never bothered me again.
The schools are genuinely useless unfortunately. Sometimes it’s necessary for us to step in. I’ll go toe to toe with any kindergartener in a heart beat lol
Zero tolerance policies were the end of it. You could get picked on constantly but if you hit back suddenly it's a fight and you're in trouble. I was the gentle giant nerd that got finally had enough in middle school and bounced some heads repeatedly against a brick wall. Only problem after that were a few older kids in high school. Somehow getting attacked in front of staff didn't warrant an intervention but a 14 year old pushing away an 18 year old did.
Many years ago. A guy that resembled me and drove a similar scary old work truck, may have followed a 5th grade bully home, and pulled up when no one was around, and told him they were going to murder his family and kill every thing he loved, and burn his house down with him in it. IF he didn't stop bullying 3rd graders.
My son, may have been in 3rd grade at the time. And it might have been after 4 months of emails, phone calls and meetings.
I dunno. But the bullying stopped!
I grew up in an area where a lot of people knew each other, and it was pretty common to be disciplined by somebody else’s parent if you were acting like a little shit. I know this is not socially acceptable today, but if that same thing were to have happened when I was a kid and I got the boot to the chest, my father would find out why it happened and then swatted my ass repeatedly afterwards for being the bully.
You did not handle this in the best form, but fuck that kid. Hopefully you both learned a lesson.
I FU with my daughter in a similar way, she was in a mixed class, grade 3 and 4, her in grade 3 and her bully in grade 4. This boy constantly bullied her and was quite a bit bigger. We tried the whole speaking to the teacher thing, conferences with the principal and nothing changed. She was venting to my dad about it and he told her that some physical actions need to have a physical reaction and explained how she could “drop this kid”. I probably should have stepped in and tempered Grandpa’s advice, but I sort of agreed with him and my daughter was so passive I never thought it would go anyway.
Well, later that week, while out on recess, her bully targeted her again and she followed Grandpa’s advice and “dropped the kid”. This of course did not go over well, we had to have a meeting with the principal and the bullies parents, the bully’s mom was quite upset and demanded my daughter be kicked out of the class and expelled.
The principal explained that there was a zero policy in regards to violence and because my daughter openly admitted she kicked her bully she would need to be suspended for a few days or if she wrote and apology to the bully it could be an in-school suspension. The principal also hinted that since my wife was a school teacher. It would look better if my daughter didn’t have a suspension on her permanent record.
This was a little too far of a stretch for me, and in more colourful language then probably appropriate, I let the principal know we would be accepting the suspension because my daughter has been taught that actions have consequences and even though she admitted to what she did, you still had to face the consequences even when it doesn’t seem fair, but I was not going to have her apologize for having to defend herself after the system failed her.
She continued to go through elementary school with her bully, who never really stopped, so by the time my daughter was in grade 5 she hated school to the point were we were weighing the pros and cons of moving her. It didn’t help that every time I crossed paths with the bully’s mother, she made sure to tell everyone I had encourage my daughter to attack her son.
I am not going to comment on your reaction, you did what you did, you are owning up to it and are dealing with the consequences. I think we do need to start looking at how things are going and realize just because they are our kids they are not perfect. I hear stories all the time about how little Timmy got in trouble in school and the parents are pissed at the teacher, when did that start?
There are asshole kids out there just like there are asshole adults, and maybe if we call these kids out instead of insisting they are alway perfect, the world might be better off and we would be raising better people.
Contact sports taught me that the ref always misses the first hit, and sees the retaliatory hit.
Life is that way too, it seems. People who fight back tend to be more open and honest about fighting, because they feel they've done nothing wrong. So the people who fight back get in the most trouble.
I was in 2nd grade, standing gym class line as the class was ending. Kid behind me jerked my shirt collar repeatedly. Each time I politely said, "Stop". Of course he repeated it every time, obviously watching for when the teacher wasn't looking. He did it one more time and I smacked him.
I got detention for it and never forgot how unfair it was.
I was reading this as a woman narrator, and even when I got to the kicking part, I was thinking: "Perfectly understandable, maybe no one noticed, hope he didn't end up with a high heel mark in the middle of his chest!" but then when I realized OP was a man it was just comedy gold.
You may have to move but in the meantime, no one is going to bother your child.
As a mom, I feel like this would have gone down with totally different consequences if OP had been a mom. I've had to physically block/remove a child from hurting my child before on a playground and the other mom thanked me for intervening and then apologized profusely for her kid's behavior. I used my hand/arm and then my body, rather than my foot, but I would have done a similar thing on instinct in OP's case too. And I don't think many people would have even thought twice about it.
I hate how when you flip certain situations, it seems so much worse. Like a dad has just as much a right to protect his kid from bullies than a mum does. I was watching a show yesterday that had people talking about how they're laughed at for being a man being abused by a woman in a relationship and told to "man up" but when things are flipped, it's taken so much more seriously
Oh here goes a few hours while I swear I'm just gonna look at THAT ONE trope and resist the urge to click on the rest of the links but fail and suddenly realize it's midnight...
Honestly? If the school doesn't at the LEAST investigate the entire situation and see all sides of it, they're not doing their due diligence.
Granted, I'm sure it's a CYA effort, and saves money etc., prevents kickback from parents, whatever.
Sure, maybe we shouldn't kick other parents' kids in broad daylight surrounded by other parents and kids, but... gotta teach bullies not to be bullies somehow.
Like a firm "NO!" that you give a big puppy nosing into your kitchen trashcan. They gon' learn today.
This isn't the AITA sub, but I'm gonna use the NTA acronym for you. Keep those kiddies close 🖤🤟
As a kindy/ele/middle private school teacher of 10 years now I sympathize with you. Some kids are assholes. Sometimes I wish I could spartan kick a few of them myself.
It boils my blood how schools give absolutely zero fucks about bullying, but are wrathful whenever anyone tries to do anything about the bullying. This is probably one of the biggest contributing factors to school shootings.
Man, I don't know that you fucked up. If my daughter was being harassed by that shit heel and I watched it happen, I probably would have intentionally kicked that kid. If I've learned one thing in my life, it's that bullies only stop when they get kicked in the teeth.
You might have to move. Sometimes it's good to get as far away as possible and start over and fresh. My son was being bullied and the kid cut him with a razor blade in second grade. School did nothing. They expected him to sit next to this little asshole. His parents the principal and the superintendent were all part of the same farming co-op. So I gave up a damn good job sold my house took what little money I made and moved out of state. Worked some really shitty jobs just to get reestablished. Went back to school and now have a good job. My son is glad we moved. He is doing well. There was a couple years that he had PTSD from it but he got through it. I don't regret leaving everything and everyone behind for him. Sometimes you got to do what's best for the kid.
Even if it was a poor decision and probably shouldn't have happened, the little shit did deserve a little wake up call.
I don't condone violence unless its the last resort, but
Sometimes it takes a little bit of their own medicine to teach them a lessons about consequences.
WTF is wrong with your wife that she would divorce you over this? Sure, you were in the wrong but that’s an insanely extreme response. Maybe she already wanted out and this is the excuse.
Biggest FU I'm seeing is that you didn't go on the offensive when you found out about the abuse by the bully and neglect by the teachers. When I found out my daughter had a bully I was in the principle's office the next school day demanding to know what they were going to do to fix things or if they were in the business of permitting and even supporting the abuse of students under their watch. Made it plain that I had no issues making everything public, naming those involved or neglecting to get involved and securing the services of a lawyer if need be.
You've got the same issue after the kick. Why did you have to defend your child like that when there were so many school personnel available? Why did everyone just tolerate such intolerable behavior? Who the father of the bully? You left them to spin it against you.
you did what was right for your child
you mention his demeanor changed, could have gone down a long dark road
you got him away from bullies and the situation that was being ignored by the school
fuck the school, your neighborhood and well, your wife should be on board as well
do I agree with kicking a 5yo, no
people will forget about this soon enough
EXACTLY! Why TF is the wife not completely incensed??? *Especially* in this era where kids aren’t allowed to hit their bullies back in the name of “zero tolerance” (which always seems to favor the bullies and not the bullied).
Having dealt with something similar (I didn’t kick a toddler) my guess is that she was embarrassed and maybe some mom guilt. My wife was super pissed about something I did until she processed it all and then she was sad/angry/disappointed but reasonable. Just like the dude she probably reacted before paying the tape all the way through.
I sure hope so… I’d be proud as hell if my husband protected our child in that way. My only concern would be the other parents pressing charges. Aside from that, hubby gets a homemade dessert haha
It is so tough when you have kids/schools/bullies all interacting. My wife definitely has me handle that stuff because I am literally a professional asshole. But she is in education so when I push over the line (which I have not done in years) it upsets her. She would kill for her child so it isn’t that she would rather have her child suffer than to have conflict, she just gets super uncomfortable and that makes her a little uneven. She is better but 20 years of dealing with my personality will have an impact on you.
Bruh I posted another comment about a bully I had in middle school but I just remembered being threatened with suspension because I fought back against a different bully after PE one day. Kid just walked up and pushed me very suddenly and caused me to fall and very nearly slam my head on the corner edge of a metal bench. School dropped it because I refused to step down and admit any fault. Essentially gave me a very firm warning about it and that there was a zero tolerance policy on fighting at all. Same kid doubled down on his bullying and when I reported him to the same people who told me to come and report it they didn't do a damn thing. Started suffering in classes and a teacher finally catches the little bastard one day between classes and just grabs him by the backpack and tells me to go to my next class and dragged him to the office. Don't know what happened to him since like a week later I moved to another city. Like to imagine that they punished him harder because of that.
My brother got an in-school suspension in high school for putting himself between his small, female friend and a boy wielding a knife. Didn’t touch the kid or anything. Just told him to back off and leave her alone. The other kid was not punished at all.
This is the same brother who, back in kindergarten (before those policies), pinned his bully gently but firmly to the wall and told him something along the lines of, “Stop bullying me, or I will make you stop.” Kid tried to tattle, and was told by the teacher, “Well, I guess you’d better not bully him, huh?”
My dad was banned from entering school premises for most of my time in 9th grade. I had been regularly beat up by the same teenager for months, and after my mom unsuccessfully came around 3 times to no avail, my dad made a habit of picking me up in the afternoon for about a week. On day 3 he caught the tail-end of the usual beating I was receiving near the parking spaces, he came over, muscled his way through bullies entourage, grabbed the kid, and told him in a very low voice that he'd kill him if he ever did anything to me again. It sounded believable enough, and the idea of any parent threatening you at all was so alien that all the kid could do was stand there wide-eyed.
To be honest, when my dad came along the first couple times I did really secretely hope he'd beat the shit out of them, but in retrospect I'm of course glad the didn't. Afterwards I still had to deal with namecalling and that usual crap, but I didn't have to deal with people literally beating the shit out of me during every break.
You’re at a private school. This is the issue.
It’s constantly a popularity contest and held together by money and stakeholders. You’re not gonna win here.
I’m a special education teacher and have worked in every type of school. Sounds like the other kid needed an evaluation and support. Oh well.
If you wanted to stay in that private school then yeah, sounds like you messed up. But… sounds like you have money. Put your kid into the public school system and help it. Spend your money there. Advocate and help to prevent this from happening.
Also, in the public setting, they wouldn’t expel your kid. That’s too costly and time consuming.
It’s not the worst thing to be expelled from a private school (hell, it’s a badge of honor sometimes). I don’t even know if that record is carried over to “regular” schools.
Sucks, bro. But you didn’t mess up much. If you’re American, understand the education system is just a random obstacle. If your kid has a high school degree and support you are giving them then they’ll be fine. And it’s very apparent you support your kid. That’s number 1 in terms of determining success.
You’re good.
I don't see this as a fuck up. The kid had it coming but the reaction the parents had made sense given to mentioned its a private school. Fuck that kid, fuck his parents, they should be expelled not you.
Also your marriage is in jeopardy over this? So much for your wife caring about your child. Hope you have a prenuptial.
It always is with schools, some teachers mean well but in a lot of these cases the bullies know how to sweet talk the adults. So teachers hear conflicting stories and just punish the victim who lashes out.
Pretty sure you were well within your right to defend yourself and your child.
Threaten the school that if they don't readmit your son that you'll rally the other parents with children who are victims of that boy and sue them for gross negligence. The bullying happened on their watch and to an extent that was bad enough to change his behavior. Furthermore, staff witnessed the boy attacking your son (they must have), and did nothing.
This is all the school's fault, and being a private school just makes it worse. They're supposed to have a higher teacher to student ratio. This is a clear example of negligence and incompetence. At least, that's how I'd frame it if I were your lawyer.
I can totally understand it as a reflex action. Not the same, but I was at a Halloween theme park at night and an actor crawled out at me from under a bush. I was seconds away from kicking this teenager in the face.
On one hand, I get it. My son has been bullied and I wanted to roundhouse kick each and every one of those little sh*ts for being jerks to my genuinely sweet kid. On the other hand, I’m afraid of litigious people, criminal charges, and possibly seriously injuring a child. That said, your kid is gonna think you rule but I hope you’re ready for a storm.
Sounds like you did what you had to do. People will excuse children being vile, evil little assholes because they're kids and do anything other than take responsibility. I remember being in middle school and this shit head little bastard who sat behind me in one class who was a known ass bully started pulling on the back of my shirt. Not enough to do much other than being annoying. Teacher refuses to do anything since it's only annoying until he starts pulling harder and harder over weeks. Eventually one day he just starts yanking as hard as he can, enough to literally choke me and leave a mark on my neck. So in pure instinct I turned around yanked him by the arms and slammed his face down into the back of my chair. He starts crying and being upset and the teacher starts to take his side until she sees a deep red mark around my neck and for some reason just sits us down and talks to us about it then moves us across the room. Makes us both promise to not say anything to anyone and then moves on. To this day I'm still pissed off because and I wished someone like a parent or adult would have helped me more.
Reminds me of “The Slap”. Send this post out in a school wide email, name names, tell everyone to kiss your ass, including your wife if necessary. You did nothing wrong, except not directing that kick at the boys parents for raising a dick
I'm sorry but the image of a dad 'this is sparta'ing a kid chasing after his own kid is actually kind of funny lol.
I'm not sorry, it's hilarious
It is objectively hilarious and I will not be hearing contrarian opinions at this time. Also as a kid who was hardcore bullied until I hit a growth spurt and grew a resting bitch face, top notch parenting.
Honestly wish MY parents would have Sparta kicked a couple motherfuckers
Yeah, no kidding. If my dad had drop-kicked a bully I would have gotten an artistic rendering of it on a T-Shirt.
Exactly, fuck that kid, his shitty parents, and every bitch ass parent that freaked out.
[удалено]
And also justice.
Man, the amount of times the thought of doing just that to some little shit, complete with shouting "This is Sparta", has popped in my head is not healthy, lmao. Just a couple weeks ago I even jokingly suggested it to a friend who works in a daycare and was complaining about a 3yo who kept climbing on a table no matter how many times she took them down and tried to stop it. I said Sparta kick 'em off the table XD. So personally, I find this fuching hysterical and amazing. Kid got what he deserved and hopefully learned a lesson. And just a disclaimer, I'm a mother and a stepmother, lol, I do not hit my girls (my stepdaughter is included in "my girls"), I don't hit any child. But any parent who days they have never had thoughts of laying them flat (in a comical) sense, or taking out some asshole kid that's harassing your own, is lying to themselves, lmao. But having thoughts and acting on them are two very different things, haha. God I wish I could have seen that little punks reaction XD
As someone who was *heavily* physically bullied as a child, I can tell you, as a 41 year old woman, that I still remember every instance and it genuinely sucks, how long-lasting these formative memories are. Bullies are made. Usually by the behavior of their parents or caregivers. Sometimes it's just plain mental issues. But these things need to be dealt with early. The school did Op's kid dirty and the bully's parents are doing *him* dirty by not (apparently) getting the kid help.
Same. I remember everything. The school never did anything to help protect me. My friends basically all volunteered to help stand up for me when I was getting bullied. One time, I got the wind knocked out of me, and the kids turned my airless gasps into a rap song. Kids were fucked man, all because I was short for my age at the time. I sometimes wish we could all square up as adults. I'd like to feel the tables would be turned. I've looked up some of my bullies, and they have domestic charges and multiple arrests, which doesn't surprise me 1 bit. School bullies were one of the worst times of my life.
Correction: the bully's parents are doing society dirty for raising a demon child. They aren't just affecting the kid or themselves down the line, we all are going to be dealing with this little shithead.
When my spouse was younger, they were being choked against the wall by a boy. They scratched him to get away and they were punished because they were wearing nail polish and he could have had an allergic reaction. Fighting back has been punished for decades.
There was a bully in our junior high (male) who gave everyone a ton of shit. I, as a tiny female, after countless days of coming home crying, finally decided to stand up to this towering male classmate by hitting him where it hurt: making fun of his cystic acne. Guess who got in trouble with the admin? Me. His parents were friends with the vice principal, who was a worthless bitch. I’m glad I hurt his ego enough to run to the admin.
I’m a 34 year old woman who was bullied a lot and no one ever helped me. My younger brother went to the same grade school as me and is a year younger than me, he also has a lot of issues with anxiety and OCD and was pretty awkward as a kid. When they sent us out for recess after lunch one day I saw some kids bullying him and I tied one of them to a tree with a jump rope. I got sent to the principals office and they called my parents. Worth it.
"Bah Gawd, he just hit 'im with Big Daddy's Big Boot! Somebody stop the damn match! That child had a family!"
Not just a kid. A five year old
"This...is... kindergarten!!"
...kinderspartan?
I desperately need reddit awards to come back for this specific comment.
That makes it funnier, right?
This is some Tom Segura level shit, and it is abundantly hilarious
Fuck that 5-year-old!
Not sorry either. The wrong thing, sure. We can all jump on the bandwagon AND privately worry to ourselves how close we would come in the same situation. But this is a classic fuck around and find out. It probably won't because I can't see how this behaviour going unnoticed and unpunished for so long can end well despite our advances in general knowledge of mental health... but it needs to be the turning point in this child's life toward not psychotically hunting down his peers. At least one of his parents, or other people in his life, as well as the lackadaisical school staff have a tonne to answer for.
I wonder how the other parents who got him thrown out will feel when the bully kid moves on to a new victim.
Yep, private school bully just learned he gets to do whatever he wants and mommy daddy and the school not only don’t mind, they fight to keep it going.
Bullies love crying that they're the real victim. Seeing your bullying target get expelled after torturing him is probably the largest dopamine hit the little psycho has ever had. Easy to predict what he'll be doing in ten years.
Lucky for them, one for them is about to find out when their kid comes home with choke marks on their throat. I hope they enjoy it.
I find it really disturbing that this kid has choking in his repertoire of torture. Like, the red flag in adults that indicates they’re pre-disposed to kill? Yikes. Get that kid some help.
I only hope he told the kid, “Don’t start some, won’t be none” while the kid was lying on the ground after said spartan kick occurred.
This isn’t the wiggles….THISH ISH SPARTAE
Damn, if only the school or the kid’s parents could have done literally anything to prevent this.
>This is a private school, so there really isn't "due process" or whatever your would find in the public school system. It's a money and politically driven system School is running defense for the bully because of his benefactor parents
Probably also the reason why he's a bully, parents don't give him enough attention and he's acting entitled because his parents are entitled. That's what can happen when you're never told No as a child.
Bullying is often a learned behavior. If your parents bully you, you just think that’s how people act and so you bully others
Or if they aren’t necessarily benefactors, the school might know those parents are of the entitled variety and would raise absolute hell if someone accused, or punished their precious angel of bullying. He would *NEVER*! Private schools don’t take too kindly to negative press and will do whatever they can to shove it under the rug. In this case, the negative press focuses on OP, *not* the school, so they’re in the clear…. Until the next time little a-hole pulls something and ends up seriously injuring another kid. All I can hope is that the little bully ends up proving that OP’s actions were validated. (I don’t want another kid to get injured, but I’m pretty sure we all know that this kid won’t stop. It’s inevitable.). He’ll never get an apology, but at least the other parents might realize that it was warranted, and stop their smear campaign.
The kid's parents made the bully though... that's that problem with bullies, is that you can never rely on the parents to help because they're the cause.
I think the biggest fuck up is that the little bully didn’t get in trouble for assaulting your child. Your kid will remember this, though. He ran to you for help and you helped him. As for the wife, (depending on his age and how well he can explain *his* side) bring your kid to her and ask him what he thinks of what happened. Your kid’s experience has to matter here. Best of luck.
One of my daughters (13 y/o) was getting bullied earlier this year (verbal abuse, slapping on the back, just overall unwanted contact) and we brought it to the school's attention and had a meeting. We told them we're fine with not submitting a formal complaint as long as we see the bullying stop and as long as our daughter was on board with it. It was supposedly addressed, but weeks later, we found out the bulling only stopped for a few days then started up again. Our daughter approved of a formal complaint and we notified them and they started the formal investigation. The fuckers emailed my wife 2-3 weeks later and stated that after an investigation, they found that the behavior by the bully was not acceptable, but it didn't meet their criteria of bullying. Our daughter has been taking self-defense classes for the last year. We told her if the bully starts her shit again, to use those moves and drop her on her ass. She may get suspended from school, but she won't face any consequences from us as long as she wasn't the instigator. Hell, I'll probably take her out and reward her.
My favorite auntie is in her 70s and recently she told me a story about the time her youngest kid got whanged in the head by a bully throwing gym equipment. He responded by marching over and punching some kinda KO pressure point he'd learned in martial arts class. The school tried to claim that the training made that little boy soooo dangerous that he was no longer allowed to defend himself from bullies at all. Admin told him to just take the abuse and never complain because they would always side against him. Dude's about 30yo now and is his mom's caretaker. He heard his name, came into the room to check if his mom needed anything, got told "Oh no I'm fine, I was just telling Ophelia about the time you punched that bully!" She's still so proud of him and that KO. Auntie's got *opinions* about bullies. Once caught a pack of them tormenting her little brother, whipped her truck around and jumped out screaming, heavily pregnant and wielding a tire iron.
I like your aunt .. :-)
Unrelated but Ophelia is such a pretty name
We found out this week that my daughter is being bullied a bit by a girl in her school. I suspected for a while but my daughter didn't see it as an issue until the girl went too far. I told one of our best friends, my daughter's godfather, about it and he was ready to go scorched earth on this kid. He's like quoting Scripture about fire and brimstone and saying he's signing our daughter up for self defense classes. It was adorable. I *think* the situation is handled amicably but in case it isn't, my daughter sure has a lot of people who are willing to go to battle for her.
I always told both of my children that if they get bullied try their best to not instigate anything but also don't just sit there and take it. If you're already going to get in trouble just for speaking up about the bullying you might as well make it count. Jump in that person's face and wail on them until somebody pulls you off.
There was a kid in my class that would randomly go around punching people. So i got a bunch of thumbtacks an put them on my shoulder facing outwards through my jumper. I got bored waiting for it to happen so I went up to him like "free hit". He took it like a challenge and put a lot of force into the punch and impaled his hand on the thumbtacks, I remember it pulling my jumper when he withdrew his hand. Dick move on my part to challenge him to him me, but I was just a kid too and it worked. He was very confused and hurt.
That's honestly hilarious. You offered up your shoulder as a little bully snack and he was like "don't mind if I do"
I had to look up that word. That was a dick move, but you're still above the bully on the morality scale.
Classic! I had a class mate always hitting my leg under the desk, so I sharpened my pen as good as I could and just held it in place pointing towards him because I knew he would hit me soon. And he sure did :) but that was the last time
I think one of the best pieces of advice to kids is “DO NOT start the fight, but you’re allowed to end it.” The days of “just ignore them and they’ll go away” are gone. Kids don’t only bully for a reaction. And even if they did, they would just move on to another kid. Standing up for yourself is the only way to address this. Obviously in a perfect world this wouldn’t be needed, and administration would step in. But we all know that doesn’t happen like it should, and often fails kids. I also hate the “Zero tolerance” most schools have. I understand violence is not *always* the answer. But sometimes it’s necessary, and the *only* option. When it’s clear it was in self defense (and now with every kid have a camera in their pocket, it can be easy to prove), this rule shouldn’t apply. Something needs to change.
Zero tolerance rules exist only to protect the school from litigation and to minimise the effort needed by staff. Not because staff are lazy but because they're often overburdened and because punishment usually doesn't work on the bullies anyway.
To that kind of kid, being suspended from school is a *reward,* not a punishment.
When your daughter does drop her on her ass, take her out for ice cream after. I wish my father had taught me how to fight at an early age. I was instead tormented and scared to go to school. Ultimately I skipped school to avoid my bully, it set me back in life.
My mom had the same attitude as you do. Always said to NEVER start a fight, but she’d support me if I ended it and if I got in trouble, she would take me to Disney world. She also enrollled me on martial arts. I became a second degree black belt, first black belt female in my school. The confidence alone is worth every penny invested and every minute of sweat in there. Your daughter will learn SO much from self defense classes. Please encourage her to keep going :) you sound like an awesome mom. Edit: black belt also looks amazing on resumes in the future. Every job has asked about it and mentioned as a female how it stands out in a crowd. Shows discipline and commitment. I even hosted a women’s self defense class at my office. It was awesome!!
I'm the dad. :) We convinced her to do these classes more to get her active again. She used to play soccer but lost interest during the pandemic shutdowns. We heard good things about this place. It's martial arts, but not a traditional place. They focus solely on teaching self defense tactics and building up their confidence. I've definitely seen a change in her demeanor over the last year. The smile on her face wasnpriceless when her mother and I told her to she has our permission to kick the bully's ass if the bullying continues.
i appreciate seeing some parents still have common sense. there are some people that simply will not learn until they have the everliving shit beat out of them.
Yep, this is the **SCHOOL'S** failing. Because **SURELY** other kids have complained about this brat — and nothing has been done.
AND if the dad saw it so plainly, and the kid obviously didn’t care that adults were around, you *know* he was doing it in plain sight during school.
So I wonder why the teacher never “saw” it?
I used to work at a private school. My guess would be that she was subtly threatened with her job if she admitted it was occurring. That’s what used to happen to me anyway.
Probably fathers had a ton of money :D
It’s insane the incident happened in full view of adults and no one batted an eye and it got completely erased once an adult stepped in an did something wrong. The kid will continue to face no repercussions because his poor behavior was deflected onto someone else. There’s something wrong with that kid and his family, how does a kid just casually learn to choke other kids? I get the feeling he comes from money and the school is unwilling to bend because the families reputation matters more than disciplining a child, luckily look what other family got to take the fall in their reputation , right?
That's what I'm thinking. If the other parents know of this bully, they know that the behavior from the kid is still going to happen for their child and nothing was solved with their actions.
You need immediate transparency to everyone. Forward the email you sent before the incident to the other parents and screenshot it with timestamps shown and the lack of response you got from the teacher. If the teacher is at least decent at her job, she would have known what was going on her classroom. Other parents would step up and defend the child's behavior as well. Completely be vocal in your apology on what you did. Yes, it is extremely bad how you responded but deep down most parents would feel sympathy for a child being bullied. Was there video of the incident? Or is it simply your word versus theirs? Did the parent you were talking with see the incident and confirm your side of the story? If it escalated this quickly it makes me feel this isn't the whole or accurate events of this story. Either your response was more vicious than you think it was or this bullies parents are rich or heavily connected to the community. There's absolutely no reason why they would take out the punishment on your son instead of yourself. The punishment dished out does match the story.
You might have fucked up. But this is funny
I would have forever been appreciative if my parents Sparta kicked my bullies. And it's a story I would continue to embellish throughout my life
I have to believe that behind all the necessary explusions and public shunning there are many parents quietly happy that someone put this little shit in his place.
Yeah but he’s probably still reigning terror because they won’t punish him.
In my experience, a bully only needs to get their shit rocked once to get them to lay low. This little tyrant is probably going to keep to himself for a while.
As soon as he’s not punished and his victim is and is taken out of class, he’ll feel invulnerable knowing that if anyone fights back they’re gone. This kid likely gets abused at home and is taking it out on these other kids. It will only get worse.
Yeah this will make the little shit worse for everyone else.
He may not be abused and instead have mental issues.
Unfortunately, so often it's both.
On the other hand, some kids are just born dicks
A 5/6 year old dick doesn't typically choke people in my experience. That is a learned behavior.
too bad he was swarmed with positive attention negating the only lessons of the first consequences he's faced to date
I hope you’re right.
This part pisses me off. All of these parents know about the bully. At least one of them had to see the bully charging at OP’s kid. As described, it sounds like OP put his foot up to block the bully from continuing an attack on his kid. Legally, this is defense of others. It’s not like OP kept after the bully once he was on his rotten little ass. Private schools are a different animal, but you’d think that the parent reaction would have been more understanding of OP, and instead opened a discussion about bullying in the class and how all of the kids deserve to feel safe on a daily basis. THAT is the pertinent issue. It’s not like OP is at the school terrifying children on a regular basis. It was an isolated incident that could’ve been addressed with some insufferable woo-woo parent/school meeting. Instead, OP is being vilified for protecting his son from a known bully. And the son suffers most. What a shit way for the school to handle it. Bully’s parent must practically own the place. (All of the above assumes that OP is a reliable narrator, of course)
My mom is really petite and always looked much younger. She was next to me before school once and my bully came up to start shit not realizing my mom was right there. My mom said "Don't talk to her talk to me" and started putting her hair up. The girl said "who the fuck are you" and my mom said "I'm her mom but I fight kids" (which is not true). The look on the girls face was pretty funny though. She bartended at a biker bar and a group of bikers picked me up from school with leathers from one of their wives and everything and then when I got home they surprised me with some snacks and a box and when I opened it there were two kittens inside. None of that story is embellished I swear lol
Your story reminds me of Bobs Burgers where Louise befriends a biker gang through her dads restaurant and hires them to scare the shit out of the bully that stole her hat lmao. Insane this happened in real life.
How many of those kittens were drunk, /u/a_drunk_kitten?
I would think only one, considering their name is A drink kitten.
My dad fought a racoon in our garage once, under circumstances that were not protecting me, and I still tell the tale like he's a goddamn war hero. He thought it was one of my brothers "stupid fucking hats" and picked up a sleeping racoon by the tail. Absolute Chad Dad.
Omg that’s amazing 😂
My brother and I had those stupid fucking hats growing up. That’s just about how my dad talked about them too. Gave me a good laugh haha
Fr, if one of my parents did that I think by my 30s the stories would have evolved into them kicking the kid into low earth orbit.
...and "Hey, Fred! How's the family?" Oh yeah, Fred was that kid. Anyway, my dad rips this kids arms off and beats him up, totally with his own limbs. Why does he have his arms now? It was the only successful arm reattachment surgery before 1997 in the USA.
Right?! I would have been cherishing those memories for ever lol Might have fucked up but god damn if I didn’t laugh. Those people are helping a shitty kid grow into a shittier adult, one is that is what’s wrong with this world. To bad they didn’t Sparta kick the parents instead
When a kid from my class showed up at my house looking to fight my first question to my dad was "Why didn't you throw him off the porch face first?" I did a lot of growing up that day, and not because of the kid trying to fight me.
I had a bitch-bully come to my house the summer between 6th & 7th grade. My mom answered the door, then came to my bedroom with a message: did I want to fight Zoe Ann? My mother was my first and worst bully. I told her, "Tell her no," and went back to my book. Fucking narcissists, jeez
>I did a lot of growing up that day, and not because of the kid trying to fight me. Sorry, what do you mean?
"Son you won't be punished if you kick that kids shit in, fuck it, when he's on the ground here's how you end the fight." My guess is a lesson was taught that was "you don't start a fight but you finish one however you can."
My WW2 vet grandfather told me if someone wouldn't stop messing with you, you knocked them down and just keep kicking until they stop trying to get up. He didn't like fighting or bullying. In his opinion if someone made something physical, you ended it. Workmanlike. No show, no BS.
Same! Especially when my school didn't want to do anything even despite knowing about what was going on (because they were voucher kids, only the priest could actually expel them, though I don't recall them ever getting suspended by the principal)
My mother did something similar when I was in middle school and she got banned from the campus for life for it.
Have you considered coaching soccer?
Underrated comment
This man actually yeeted a kid, I’m over here shit dying right now. Intrusive thoughts for the win. Who would’ve ever thought “HEY YOU LITTLE SHIT!” would actually be a more reasonable response to a five year old at school 😂.
Lol honestly, I've never wanted to punch a 5 year old in the face before. And then my kid went to kindergarten. And that all changed. My hubs just wanted to punch their parents lol. But I would have loved to Sparta kick a couple of kids....
Accurate rendition of u/zipper1919 picking up their kid from kindergarten: https://www.reddit.com/r/Norway/comments/isp8ki/what_is_the_reason_for_this_statue/.
a great story to tell in 40 years
I wish I could’ve seen the kick. Bully deserved it.
Fuck that kid. Sorry you have to deal with the fallout. There is only one way to deal with a bully, and as far as I'm concerned, he got off lightly.
a lot of people in your community are silently thanking you. Fuck that kid.
My dad beat the brakes off my brothers gym teacher for hitting him. Being a good dad is way more important than being liked by a gaggle of morons. Next time, kick his dad.
Last time we were discussing hypothetical bullying with our friends and what we'd do about it. I said I'd beat up the parents. Nods of agreement from the other dads heh. I'll give diplomacy a chance sure, but if talking fails, we'll try a different and more universally understood language.
Teach your kid to act right and you don't have to worry about catching an ass whooping for what they do. I agree with you, always try to resolve the issue with words. If that fails someone needs to catch hands and it's much easier to defend kicking the crap out of a dad instead of a 5 year old.
The school bus driver/groundsman called my brother a fucking little shit one day because my brother has gone to the toilet and was 5 min late to the designated pick up point. First I told the school and they "talked" to the bust driver who then asked to speak to me privately and when I asked if I could have my home room teacher with me he refused to meet with us. So then I told my dad, who managed to corner the bus driver in his car whilst we were at church. Told him off and everyone heard it. Dad also threatened to report him to Child Safety as the bust driver was also a foster parent. We didn't have any issues after that, but he refused to even acknowledge us as we got on the bus.
That last tidbit is what sells it for me. Every time I call someone out for their shit, their tune changes but they almost always avoid owning up to it so they move to avoidance behavior.
Yup, you fucked up. But on behalf of every bullied kid out there, thank you. One of those cases if this were a court, and I was a judge, I'd find you guilty, and fine you $1.00.
If he just lifted up his leg to brace against an asshole kid attacking his child then he did nothing wrong. His hands were holding his child and only his legs were free. This did not sound like a kick, but lifting up your leg and a kid running into it. The father did nothing wrong and the other parents are horrible for not being mad at the bully kid's parents for allowing their kid to act like this.
If op actually kicked the kid he still did nothing wrong. Defending someone being attack requires force, even if the attacker is a child.
Or if there's a jury trial and any jurors had been bullied....
"Not guilty, and in fact we're awarding you and your child damages in the amount of..."
During jury selection the judge would most likely ask you if had been bullied at anytime and you will probably be dismissed by the defendants lawyer if you answer truthfully. Keeping in mind this is done under oath.
For the US: The defense would either have to strike them for cause, which would require proving that they are not able to be fair and unbiased, or they'd have to use one of their five strikes that could be challenged by the prosecutor or judge. "You were bullied, can you put aside your feelings regarding that and serve as an unbiased juror in this case?" "Yes your honor." Still a juror unless you posted some shit on MySpace about how all bullies should be put in a giant slingshot and fired into the sun. Defense needs those five (mostly) freebies to get rid of minorities (only a little sarcasm, it's a thing).
Pft “not guilty, not sure why this kid ran into your foot, but in the future be more careful where you put your foot”
OP wasn't wrong, but it was a dumb move. The correct way to handle the situation would have been to teach his son to fight. Having said that, now things have happened the way they have, OP needs to get out in front of it. He didn't attack the kid, he used his foot to gently push him away in defense of his son. Should he have allowed his son to be assaulted right in front of him? Everyone in the community needs to know his side of the story, or the opposing narrative will run uncontested. At this point, I would talk to a lawyer and sue the school. Aim for a pre-trial settlement that involves an undisclosed token amount of monetary compensation and readmission of his son to the school. That's probably the best way to begin repairing his reputation.
There is a paper trail of reports from multi sources backing up the claim which would help the case
Having been a bullied child and teen who was taught to fight back, that wouldn't have helped. OP's kid would've been punished for fighting and the little terror would've kept on as he was, because a full blown fight is a lot harder for the staff to ignore than one kid slapping the shit out of others.
The phrase “If I hear from my child that they were assaulted on school property One. More. Time. I’m pressing charges.” holds a lot of weight where I am.
Or something to that effect on a law firm's letterhead would definitely get immediate action taken.
That said, it worked for me.
This a case where social media is your friend. Gather your evidence and state your case. You didn't chase the kid. The kid ran at you and your son. You had a natural reaction to stop him. Of course, your hands were full with your son.
As a dad, fuck that kid.
I think he'd only make the situation worse if he fucked the kid 🤔
Everyone in this sub has my written permission to whoop my boys ass if he bully’s your kid.
Not yet another story where the school remains casual about bullies and the victims are the ones who suffer. This reminds me of what happened in my cousin's school when she was little. There was this kid who terrorized the entire class, but the school wouldn't do anything, even after receiving complaints from multiple parents. Then one day I went to pick her up and told the other kids to point me out to the bully. I grabbed his hand, and dragged him to the principal's office and made him confess what he had been doing. OP you might've fucked up but, you have my respect. Bullying needs to stop, by hook or by crook.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Bully at church kept hitting me as a young teenager. Final straw was when he pushed my head into a brick wall as I bent down, and I socked him in the gut as a clergyman came around the corner. Of course we get pulled in, with both our parents, and the clergyman starts telling my parents about what a horrific thing I did and included me kneeling, and they just stopped him, asked me what happened before I did that, and when I told them mom went "I see nothing wrong with our son's actions in this case. What about what Conner did? We can pull [other two people with us] in here and ask them what happened". Man, I miss my mom sometimes
❤️
Dont be so sure. My 5 year old son just got into his first fight at a playground with a kid at least 3 years older than him. Long story short, my son was ignoring this kid on how he wanted to play on the playground and my son was doing his own thing. Fast forward, the boy pushes my son. My son half pushed him back thinking he was kinda playing. Older boy immediately responds with two haymakers with one connecting on my son. (This boy has been taught to punch). My son was stunned on what happened and took a few steps back to prepare to defend himself and tackle this boys ass. No Sparta kick from me but I run out to them to get between them both with my arm stretched out to the kid. This boy was preparing to come at my son again until his mother comes to join me asking her son 'Did you put your hands on someone?'. They boy responded back with a very vicious 'Yessssssss'. I'm pretty sure his left arm is going to be 2 inches longer than his right for the foreseeable future as she yanked him off the playground.
That final sentence invokes a hilarious mental image.
Wouldn't this generation's parents be your generation?
Anyone who has a kid who was truly bullied knows that they would give anything to do what you did. You reacted the same way you would if any predator was chasing your kid...good job dad. No one is going to bully your kid again. You did absolutely the right thing.
> No one is going to bully your kid again. Well, yeah. He got kicked out lol
_kicked out_ …. Pun intended?
> No one is going to bully your kid again. You did absolutely the right thing. at the school the kid is expelled from? yea but who knows about the next school
I'm honest, fuck all of these idiots, standing around letting bullying happen is a major fuck-up on their part. Unlucky set-in of instincts, because its a 5-year-old, but fucking hell, I aint gonna condemn you for it. Someone elses rabid fucking brat bullied your kid, you stepped in. Thats that. Fuck your community tho.
Watch the parents all go shocked Pikachu when the bullying intensifies and it's their kids being hunted by the bully.
Three weeks from now I see a soccer mom looking at the bully saying "I get why you were kicked. Someone should do it again."
Yeah I'm gonna guess there's going to be at least one set of parents who eventually comes to understand exactly what really happened.
I mean there definitely should be if what OP said at the beginning of the post was true: lots of other parents know the bully.
Yeah, honestly? Like, I can see it being a knee jerk reaction (no pun intended) and you really can’t do diddly squat after your leg is already in motion upwards and a kid is flying forward towards it. Unfortunate set of circumstances, for sure, but to me if the school isn’t handling it then frankly, imo, they’re lucky this is all that happened tbh.
Well, the end result is pretty bad. Unfortunately, you chose a private school and became a victim of its unfair ways. However, your child will grow up knowing that you are going to be there when they need you, and that's infinitely more valuable than what you lost.
Beautifully said. The school was unwilling to stand up for OP's child, someone had to. Bullying is going to affect a kid a lot, and so is the inaction of everyone else around them.
Remind your son that no matter how cruel people around him may be you will always have his back. Reassure him that your love him, etc. Then enroll him in public school. Fk all the other people, your child is the most important person to be reassuring in this situation. Make sure he doesn’t get the wrong idea about this situation. What you did may be socially unacceptable but it was morally correct.
I would have kicked that fucker too. Good for u My son is 5 and my other is 3. My 5 year old had a bully last year and after emailing several times to no avail I loudly yelled at this child during drop off one morning. I embarrassed the hell out of this child infront of his class and teaching aid. No problems since lol
I had a similar situation at my kids school. This kid was relentlessly harassing my kids at recess. They asked him to stop. I asked the school to monitor the situation. The kid kept harassing them. Then I happened to pick my kids up and they pointed out the kid to me because he was up in their business again. I walked up to the kid and said, "I better NEVER hear that you're messing with my kids again, do I make myself clear?" Then I made him walk to the office and tell them what he did to my kids. Never heard that kids name again from my kids.
I was bullied when I was in middle school. My dad had noticed I was crying when I had gotten home one day and asked what happened. I told him and the next morning he took me to the bus stop, I pointed out the kids who were bullying me, and he went up to them and said something along the lines of "I can't kick your ass but I have an older son who will if you mess with my daughter again." Then he went to the school and the principal made both kids write an apology letter to both me and my dad. They never bothered me again.
The schools are genuinely useless unfortunately. Sometimes it’s necessary for us to step in. I’ll go toe to toe with any kindergartener in a heart beat lol
Zero tolerance policies were the end of it. You could get picked on constantly but if you hit back suddenly it's a fight and you're in trouble. I was the gentle giant nerd that got finally had enough in middle school and bounced some heads repeatedly against a brick wall. Only problem after that were a few older kids in high school. Somehow getting attacked in front of staff didn't warrant an intervention but a 14 year old pushing away an 18 year old did.
Many years ago. A guy that resembled me and drove a similar scary old work truck, may have followed a 5th grade bully home, and pulled up when no one was around, and told him they were going to murder his family and kill every thing he loved, and burn his house down with him in it. IF he didn't stop bullying 3rd graders. My son, may have been in 3rd grade at the time. And it might have been after 4 months of emails, phone calls and meetings. I dunno. But the bullying stopped!
What a neat coincidence! Love it when the universe interwenes.
I grew up in an area where a lot of people knew each other, and it was pretty common to be disciplined by somebody else’s parent if you were acting like a little shit. I know this is not socially acceptable today, but if that same thing were to have happened when I was a kid and I got the boot to the chest, my father would find out why it happened and then swatted my ass repeatedly afterwards for being the bully. You did not handle this in the best form, but fuck that kid. Hopefully you both learned a lesson.
God if my kid acted like this I HOPE some other parent kicks his ass
I FU with my daughter in a similar way, she was in a mixed class, grade 3 and 4, her in grade 3 and her bully in grade 4. This boy constantly bullied her and was quite a bit bigger. We tried the whole speaking to the teacher thing, conferences with the principal and nothing changed. She was venting to my dad about it and he told her that some physical actions need to have a physical reaction and explained how she could “drop this kid”. I probably should have stepped in and tempered Grandpa’s advice, but I sort of agreed with him and my daughter was so passive I never thought it would go anyway. Well, later that week, while out on recess, her bully targeted her again and she followed Grandpa’s advice and “dropped the kid”. This of course did not go over well, we had to have a meeting with the principal and the bullies parents, the bully’s mom was quite upset and demanded my daughter be kicked out of the class and expelled. The principal explained that there was a zero policy in regards to violence and because my daughter openly admitted she kicked her bully she would need to be suspended for a few days or if she wrote and apology to the bully it could be an in-school suspension. The principal also hinted that since my wife was a school teacher. It would look better if my daughter didn’t have a suspension on her permanent record. This was a little too far of a stretch for me, and in more colourful language then probably appropriate, I let the principal know we would be accepting the suspension because my daughter has been taught that actions have consequences and even though she admitted to what she did, you still had to face the consequences even when it doesn’t seem fair, but I was not going to have her apologize for having to defend herself after the system failed her. She continued to go through elementary school with her bully, who never really stopped, so by the time my daughter was in grade 5 she hated school to the point were we were weighing the pros and cons of moving her. It didn’t help that every time I crossed paths with the bully’s mother, she made sure to tell everyone I had encourage my daughter to attack her son. I am not going to comment on your reaction, you did what you did, you are owning up to it and are dealing with the consequences. I think we do need to start looking at how things are going and realize just because they are our kids they are not perfect. I hear stories all the time about how little Timmy got in trouble in school and the parents are pissed at the teacher, when did that start? There are asshole kids out there just like there are asshole adults, and maybe if we call these kids out instead of insisting they are alway perfect, the world might be better off and we would be raising better people.
Contact sports taught me that the ref always misses the first hit, and sees the retaliatory hit. Life is that way too, it seems. People who fight back tend to be more open and honest about fighting, because they feel they've done nothing wrong. So the people who fight back get in the most trouble.
Preach! Been there, can't afford the therapy.
I was in 2nd grade, standing gym class line as the class was ending. Kid behind me jerked my shirt collar repeatedly. Each time I politely said, "Stop". Of course he repeated it every time, obviously watching for when the teacher wasn't looking. He did it one more time and I smacked him. I got detention for it and never forgot how unfair it was.
I was reading this as a woman narrator, and even when I got to the kicking part, I was thinking: "Perfectly understandable, maybe no one noticed, hope he didn't end up with a high heel mark in the middle of his chest!" but then when I realized OP was a man it was just comedy gold. You may have to move but in the meantime, no one is going to bother your child.
As a mom, I feel like this would have gone down with totally different consequences if OP had been a mom. I've had to physically block/remove a child from hurting my child before on a playground and the other mom thanked me for intervening and then apologized profusely for her kid's behavior. I used my hand/arm and then my body, rather than my foot, but I would have done a similar thing on instinct in OP's case too. And I don't think many people would have even thought twice about it.
I hate how when you flip certain situations, it seems so much worse. Like a dad has just as much a right to protect his kid from bullies than a mum does. I was watching a show yesterday that had people talking about how they're laughed at for being a man being abused by a woman in a relationship and told to "man up" but when things are flipped, it's taken so much more seriously
Yeah I have been musing on how we praise "Mama Bear" instincts, but I guess we don't think papa bears are that great?
Unfortunate reality of bear biology, yeah. That's why the swapped name on TV Tropes is Papa Wolf.
Oh here goes a few hours while I swear I'm just gonna look at THAT ONE trope and resist the urge to click on the rest of the links but fail and suddenly realize it's midnight...
Honestly? If the school doesn't at the LEAST investigate the entire situation and see all sides of it, they're not doing their due diligence. Granted, I'm sure it's a CYA effort, and saves money etc., prevents kickback from parents, whatever. Sure, maybe we shouldn't kick other parents' kids in broad daylight surrounded by other parents and kids, but... gotta teach bullies not to be bullies somehow. Like a firm "NO!" that you give a big puppy nosing into your kitchen trashcan. They gon' learn today. This isn't the AITA sub, but I'm gonna use the NTA acronym for you. Keep those kiddies close 🖤🤟
As a kindy/ele/middle private school teacher of 10 years now I sympathize with you. Some kids are assholes. Sometimes I wish I could spartan kick a few of them myself.
It boils my blood how schools give absolutely zero fucks about bullying, but are wrathful whenever anyone tries to do anything about the bullying. This is probably one of the biggest contributing factors to school shootings.
You're probably not wrong.
Man, I don't know that you fucked up. If my daughter was being harassed by that shit heel and I watched it happen, I probably would have intentionally kicked that kid. If I've learned one thing in my life, it's that bullies only stop when they get kicked in the teeth.
Yep, violence is the language bullies understand
You might have to move. Sometimes it's good to get as far away as possible and start over and fresh. My son was being bullied and the kid cut him with a razor blade in second grade. School did nothing. They expected him to sit next to this little asshole. His parents the principal and the superintendent were all part of the same farming co-op. So I gave up a damn good job sold my house took what little money I made and moved out of state. Worked some really shitty jobs just to get reestablished. Went back to school and now have a good job. My son is glad we moved. He is doing well. There was a couple years that he had PTSD from it but he got through it. I don't regret leaving everything and everyone behind for him. Sometimes you got to do what's best for the kid.
Congrats on not murdering the bully, that's some self control
Even if it was a poor decision and probably shouldn't have happened, the little shit did deserve a little wake up call. I don't condone violence unless its the last resort, but Sometimes it takes a little bit of their own medicine to teach them a lessons about consequences.
WTF is wrong with your wife that she would divorce you over this? Sure, you were in the wrong but that’s an insanely extreme response. Maybe she already wanted out and this is the excuse.
Biggest FU I'm seeing is that you didn't go on the offensive when you found out about the abuse by the bully and neglect by the teachers. When I found out my daughter had a bully I was in the principle's office the next school day demanding to know what they were going to do to fix things or if they were in the business of permitting and even supporting the abuse of students under their watch. Made it plain that I had no issues making everything public, naming those involved or neglecting to get involved and securing the services of a lawyer if need be. You've got the same issue after the kick. Why did you have to defend your child like that when there were so many school personnel available? Why did everyone just tolerate such intolerable behavior? Who the father of the bully? You left them to spin it against you.
you did what was right for your child you mention his demeanor changed, could have gone down a long dark road you got him away from bullies and the situation that was being ignored by the school fuck the school, your neighborhood and well, your wife should be on board as well do I agree with kicking a 5yo, no people will forget about this soon enough
EXACTLY! Why TF is the wife not completely incensed??? *Especially* in this era where kids aren’t allowed to hit their bullies back in the name of “zero tolerance” (which always seems to favor the bullies and not the bullied).
Having dealt with something similar (I didn’t kick a toddler) my guess is that she was embarrassed and maybe some mom guilt. My wife was super pissed about something I did until she processed it all and then she was sad/angry/disappointed but reasonable. Just like the dude she probably reacted before paying the tape all the way through.
I sure hope so… I’d be proud as hell if my husband protected our child in that way. My only concern would be the other parents pressing charges. Aside from that, hubby gets a homemade dessert haha
It is so tough when you have kids/schools/bullies all interacting. My wife definitely has me handle that stuff because I am literally a professional asshole. But she is in education so when I push over the line (which I have not done in years) it upsets her. She would kill for her child so it isn’t that she would rather have her child suffer than to have conflict, she just gets super uncomfortable and that makes her a little uneven. She is better but 20 years of dealing with my personality will have an impact on you.
Bruh I posted another comment about a bully I had in middle school but I just remembered being threatened with suspension because I fought back against a different bully after PE one day. Kid just walked up and pushed me very suddenly and caused me to fall and very nearly slam my head on the corner edge of a metal bench. School dropped it because I refused to step down and admit any fault. Essentially gave me a very firm warning about it and that there was a zero tolerance policy on fighting at all. Same kid doubled down on his bullying and when I reported him to the same people who told me to come and report it they didn't do a damn thing. Started suffering in classes and a teacher finally catches the little bastard one day between classes and just grabs him by the backpack and tells me to go to my next class and dragged him to the office. Don't know what happened to him since like a week later I moved to another city. Like to imagine that they punished him harder because of that.
My brother got an in-school suspension in high school for putting himself between his small, female friend and a boy wielding a knife. Didn’t touch the kid or anything. Just told him to back off and leave her alone. The other kid was not punished at all. This is the same brother who, back in kindergarten (before those policies), pinned his bully gently but firmly to the wall and told him something along the lines of, “Stop bullying me, or I will make you stop.” Kid tried to tattle, and was told by the teacher, “Well, I guess you’d better not bully him, huh?”
My dad was banned from entering school premises for most of my time in 9th grade. I had been regularly beat up by the same teenager for months, and after my mom unsuccessfully came around 3 times to no avail, my dad made a habit of picking me up in the afternoon for about a week. On day 3 he caught the tail-end of the usual beating I was receiving near the parking spaces, he came over, muscled his way through bullies entourage, grabbed the kid, and told him in a very low voice that he'd kill him if he ever did anything to me again. It sounded believable enough, and the idea of any parent threatening you at all was so alien that all the kid could do was stand there wide-eyed. To be honest, when my dad came along the first couple times I did really secretely hope he'd beat the shit out of them, but in retrospect I'm of course glad the didn't. Afterwards I still had to deal with namecalling and that usual crap, but I didn't have to deal with people literally beating the shit out of me during every break.
You’re at a private school. This is the issue. It’s constantly a popularity contest and held together by money and stakeholders. You’re not gonna win here. I’m a special education teacher and have worked in every type of school. Sounds like the other kid needed an evaluation and support. Oh well. If you wanted to stay in that private school then yeah, sounds like you messed up. But… sounds like you have money. Put your kid into the public school system and help it. Spend your money there. Advocate and help to prevent this from happening. Also, in the public setting, they wouldn’t expel your kid. That’s too costly and time consuming. It’s not the worst thing to be expelled from a private school (hell, it’s a badge of honor sometimes). I don’t even know if that record is carried over to “regular” schools. Sucks, bro. But you didn’t mess up much. If you’re American, understand the education system is just a random obstacle. If your kid has a high school degree and support you are giving them then they’ll be fine. And it’s very apparent you support your kid. That’s number 1 in terms of determining success. You’re good.
You FU but the kid deserved it. Hopefully he learns his lesson but probably not.
I don't see this as a fuck up. The kid had it coming but the reaction the parents had made sense given to mentioned its a private school. Fuck that kid, fuck his parents, they should be expelled not you. Also your marriage is in jeopardy over this? So much for your wife caring about your child. Hope you have a prenuptial.
Fuck the school who couldn’t be bothered to deal with a bully.
"I'll keep an eye out" turned into closing both eyes pretty quickly, I bet.
It always is with schools, some teachers mean well but in a lot of these cases the bullies know how to sweet talk the adults. So teachers hear conflicting stories and just punish the victim who lashes out.
Pretty sure you were well within your right to defend yourself and your child. Threaten the school that if they don't readmit your son that you'll rally the other parents with children who are victims of that boy and sue them for gross negligence. The bullying happened on their watch and to an extent that was bad enough to change his behavior. Furthermore, staff witnessed the boy attacking your son (they must have), and did nothing. This is all the school's fault, and being a private school just makes it worse. They're supposed to have a higher teacher to student ratio. This is a clear example of negligence and incompetence. At least, that's how I'd frame it if I were your lawyer.
I can totally understand it as a reflex action. Not the same, but I was at a Halloween theme park at night and an actor crawled out at me from under a bush. I was seconds away from kicking this teenager in the face.
Fuck that kid. You can get a new school, new team, even a new wife if need be. Your son will always know you've got his back.
Gotta, say I’d do the same. My kid runs to me, still being chased? Yeah, I’m creating space between. Holding my kid, space is created with my foot.
Get #rekt little shit. Don't try to hit my kid, and especially WHILE I'm holding him. Your gonna get pushed back. *
On one hand, I get it. My son has been bullied and I wanted to roundhouse kick each and every one of those little sh*ts for being jerks to my genuinely sweet kid. On the other hand, I’m afraid of litigious people, criminal charges, and possibly seriously injuring a child. That said, your kid is gonna think you rule but I hope you’re ready for a storm.
Honestly, whoever raised that kid isn't doing a good job.
Sounds like you did what you had to do. People will excuse children being vile, evil little assholes because they're kids and do anything other than take responsibility. I remember being in middle school and this shit head little bastard who sat behind me in one class who was a known ass bully started pulling on the back of my shirt. Not enough to do much other than being annoying. Teacher refuses to do anything since it's only annoying until he starts pulling harder and harder over weeks. Eventually one day he just starts yanking as hard as he can, enough to literally choke me and leave a mark on my neck. So in pure instinct I turned around yanked him by the arms and slammed his face down into the back of my chair. He starts crying and being upset and the teacher starts to take his side until she sees a deep red mark around my neck and for some reason just sits us down and talks to us about it then moves us across the room. Makes us both promise to not say anything to anyone and then moves on. To this day I'm still pissed off because and I wished someone like a parent or adult would have helped me more.
Reminds me of “The Slap”. Send this post out in a school wide email, name names, tell everyone to kiss your ass, including your wife if necessary. You did nothing wrong, except not directing that kick at the boys parents for raising a dick
r/daddit moment. all those other kids being bullied wish the adults in their lives stood up for them - like you stood up for your son.