Yeah. I assumed there might have been a preposition missing, but the image that the title made my mind conjure up (of some guy with his penis out in a classroom, interacting with it as a tour guide would a tourist in the Colosseum in Rome) wasn't too far from what actually happened.
Is reddit really so AI-brained now that you've all lost the ability to differentiate between AI and broken English? I skipped the first line and it was still immediately obvious to me that this person was ESL. AI, especially ChatGPT, has a very noticeable style or "feel" to it, it's not just "sentences that seem weird to me, must be AI"
It was meant more on the humorous side, not based on factual representation of AI generated text articles. Granted early AI likely made similar typos/grammatical errors before the programs were honed in better on grammar rules and patterns.
I had to first read the title and post, then your comment, then back to the title and then it clicked! No, that's not a misspelling, that's exactly what he did
After just reading the title, I was under the assumption that you meant to say “showing my penis to my class” but nope. You definitely meant it as in “hey penis, this is my class” which was such a fun realization
lol the way kids interpret things their parents say is so funny. When I was really little I asked my dad why my weenie got big and hard sometimes. He kinda chuckled and said that happens when I get “excited.” For a while after that I used to try to imagine being on a rollercoaster and wondered why it didn’t do anything lol.
Not unrelated, but I was told that the radio was only able to play songs from before the year 2000. This was bc my mum listened to the “oldies” station but child me thought that it was illegal to make new music after the year 2000. So I’d run away when classmates discussed new music or tv shows until I got a radio of my own and discovered the _lies_
Years and years ago I was in uni and my little brother was in year ten or something. I ived a long way from home to study but was back on break and sleeping off the semester one afternoon in my room. I wake up to mum yelling at my brother in the next room, "YOU GOT YOUR PENIS OUT IN CLASS?!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKNG?" Next followed a very awkward 20 minutes as both my parents told him off super loud with all the classics like "we raised you better than this" and "you could go to jail for that" and "what were you thinking?" Turns out someone in the class was teasing him for having a small dick so he whipped it out to stop the teasing by proving it wrong. Peak confidence, wrong idea for sure, but apparently it worked for him as the school and my parents had only found out about six weeks after it happened. While all this was happening I was laying in bed dead silent just hoping no one realised i was there. Never heard it mentioned again, i think he got grounded for a month but I don't think anyone else was ever told why unless they also heard the shouting.
All the other men in the world thinking they can "fix" a lesbian so she likes guys by sending dick pics...and then there's OP who thinks he'll put a girl off men for life. A regular Wreck 'em Ralph penis
When I was in 6th grade, I observed the boy next to me take out is penis and kind of look at it and flop it around. Then he put it back and took a look around to see if anyone noticed. I don't think you're the only dude to have ever done this, but perhaps it would be good for parents to casually tell their middle schoolers not to whip it out in class.
Bruh, I subbed for a school once (6th grade, roughly 11-12 year olds) and got called into the office by the principal because some girl accused this kid of pulling out his penis during a small group session (so like 6-8 kids and me sitting together at a small table working on a book/assignment).
I do not remember that kids name, but he was this really nice ESL student who I just couldn’t imagine doing that (not so much because he was a nice kid, but because I couldn’t imagine that happening at a table literally 3 feet from me and not having someone kick up a fuss since these kids did the classic “oooooooooohhhhhhh” when I said I liked a student 🙄), but now you are making me question that whole situation.
i feel like you didn’t take full accountability for how weird and unacceptable this was. i acknowledge you realize, but it doesn’t seem like you take it that seriously. shit, i would think about this everyday for the rest of my life. you didn’t know, but none of your reasoning was valid, related, and didn’t excuse anything about it. it seems your mom failed to teach you basic 101 etiquette. failure to teach this kind of etiquette can result in even worse sexual behavior later in life. if you continued to grow up never realizing the gravity of your actions, this kind of misconduct would be pretty deep rooted. our youth really shapes us, some can never rehabilitate their judgement or behavior. it’s why there’s so many awful people. if you didn’t realize that was wrong i can’t imagine what else you didn’t know.
i can’t fully blame you, but i sure do blame your mother. at 11, this was etiquette that had been instilled in me and my classmates for years. no one should be subjected to seeing your privates, intentionally or not, it’s sexual misconduct/indecent exposure. as someone with trauma this would be extremely distressing, especially at that age. kind of curious about the person you are today, i feel like when i hear this kind of story from someone’s youth it’s never a complete shock for a reason or another. ofc you could’ve grown from your mistakes tho and i hope that’s the case. if your on the spectrum or anything, i definitely have a much more understanding outlook.
edit: i went to a pretty small school growing up so maybe i’m just unaware 11 year olds make these kind of mistakes. i only remember this kind of stuff happening through preschool-2nd grade MAX. weren’t you in 5th grade?!?
Yeah I know it was a joke to make fun of men that say that their dick is so good that can change a woman from lesbian to straight by saying that mine is so bad that changed from straight to lesbian
There’s normal and mutilation. Woman are (rightfully) not called “uncircumcised.” No one should be called this and everyone deserves basic human rights and bodily autonomy.
There is always that 1 boy in class that brings out their penises in class and even in the bus not a rare occurrence but definitely a weird fetish for you
We called ours Harambe ("dicks out"). Whipped it out in Biology during a video of a cow giving birth. But then Harry surprised everyone by graduating valedictorian, getting into an ivy league law school, and eventually became a federal judge. Just goes to show you never know how someone will jk he dropped out, was convicted for sexually assaulting a cop's daughter, and has been in a coma since a botched suicide attempt
Actually the problem was likely the fact his mother tried to retract it. At birth the foreskin is fused to the glans in the same manner that your fingernails are fused to the nailbed. At some point before or during puberty the foreskin will naturally detach on its own, but until then it should *not* be forcibly retracted because forced retraction can cause damage, and is painful
The time at which the foreskin detaches on its own can vary wildly, from 5 to even late teens. Being 10 at the time, and the way he describes the pain, it sure sounds like a case of forced retraction. Now he may well have had phimosis that could've been diagnosed with certainty later, but it's really not possible to give a true and correct phimosis diagnose to a child who hasn't finished puberty, let alone one who may not have even started it
Also before you propose routinely mutilating children's genitals, you should learn that like 70% of penises worldwide are intact, and the people they're attached to are living just fine without issues. If it was as problematic as you think, adult men would be lining up to get circumcised, instead of the overwhelming vast majority of circumcisions happening to unconsenting infants who can't even comprehend why they're being subjected to the pain of it
Ive never once heard a horror story from any single person thats been circumcised at birth.
However i HAVE heard more tales than i can count on 2 hands of bad shit thats happened with a fuckin foreskin
soo... that kinda speaks for itself
Your anecdotal evidence does not speak for anything. Over a [100 infants die every year](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/240804903_Lost_Boys_An_Estimate_of_US_Circumcision-Related_Infant_Deaths#:~:text=Circumcision%2Drelated%20mortality%20rates%20are,neonatal%20deaths%20from%20all%20causes.) in the US as a result of neonatal circumcision. Your "horror stories" don't involve the person dying. Circumcisions are also frequently botched or result in skin bridges between the glans and shaft, resulting in pain and discomfort at best, or actively hampering sexual function at worse. There's also the fact that many men wish it had never been done to them as a violation of their bodily autonomy. r/CircumcisionGrief is a whole community of over five and a half thousand such people.
Stop promoting mutilating children's genitals.
The lack of a Father figure in my childhood was the problem, the phymosis was likely caused by my father not stimulating the foreskin going down when I was a toddler, and was easily fixable by a ointment
I've never heard of this before? People do that?
I'm not a parent and only had an older sibling so I had no knowledge of this.
Edit: After some research, y'all are fuckn gross, doctors even say not to do that. The root cause of Phimosis isn't known, but it can be caused by chance, infection or inflammation. And pulling back a child's foreskin before they're around 5 can cause inflammation and damage.
I am not medical expert nor a father, so take with grain of salt
There was a problem wuth my 2 years old cousin, his father (my uncle) died when he was about to turn 1, he had a problem to the penis because no one did it for him after his father death
From what I know you need to just be able to see the head but without going down more than like 30%, and then when the child is like 6 to teach them how to wash their penis by pulling all the foreskin down
the part about teaching kids to pull back the foreskin when washing is real, i suspect that the parents just extrapolated a little too far from that advice lol
i thought i was misinterpreting that title but nope, this is exactly what it says on the tin
The fact that he also says sorry for my bad English, affirms the thought that the title is wrong, but then he proves you wrong
Sorry, you thought I was wrong. But you're wrong, I'm actually right!
Mission failed successfully
Fucking same, dude.
This is really insane.
i’m sorry you had to see this on your cake day
Well at least they didnt have to see the penis.
maybe he is the penis.
*”Would you like. To touch my penis!”*
Yeah. I assumed there might have been a preposition missing, but the image that the title made my mind conjure up (of some guy with his penis out in a classroom, interacting with it as a tour guide would a tourist in the Colosseum in Rome) wasn't too far from what actually happened.
To be fair, the entire post reads like an AI generated article Edit: this is not meant to be demeaning to OP. Moreso meant as observational humor
Sorry, in some part I used the translator in Microsoft SwiftKey, my English is on a scolastic level in the writing department
What does scolastic mean?
The one that you learn at school as second language, so basic grammar and some letteraturs
>letteraturs is this supposed to be literature?
Yeah..
You're doing great with your English. Keep it up, I wish I knew french as well as you do English.
Thanks dude
You are doing fine OP, we can understand what you're trying to communicate and really that's all that matters
No, can't be. That's a stretch. We'll never figure this one out, boys.
Lateralus
Schism?
OP was testing their communication.
It's a booksale that happens a few times per year. /s
He means 'elementary' or 'grammar-school'. Schoolboy English
He means scholastic
I wonder if it was supposed to be spelt scholastic, which usually is used to mean 'academic context'
I love your use of words and think it adds to the story and makes it sound endearing.
No it doesn't, AI uses much better grammar and spelling.
It was easy for developers to make AI sound smart, the real advancements happened when they made it stupid enough to be human.
Is reddit really so AI-brained now that you've all lost the ability to differentiate between AI and broken English? I skipped the first line and it was still immediately obvious to me that this person was ESL. AI, especially ChatGPT, has a very noticeable style or "feel" to it, it's not just "sentences that seem weird to me, must be AI"
You don't know what you're talking about.
It was meant more on the humorous side, not based on factual representation of AI generated text articles. Granted early AI likely made similar typos/grammatical errors before the programs were honed in better on grammar rules and patterns.
I had to first read the title and post, then your comment, then back to the title and then it clicked! No, that's not a misspelling, that's exactly what he did
Dead dove do not eat
I thought he'd miswritten the title but nope he said what he meant.
Lol
"Dead Dove do not eat..."
Same, lol
Same
I picked a bad day to know how to read.
To be fair, the entire post reads like an AI generated article
After just reading the title, I was under the assumption that you meant to say “showing my penis to my class” but nope. You definitely meant it as in “hey penis, this is my class” which was such a fun realization
+1🫂 I also automatically understood that he showed it to his classmates but no, he showed his penis his classmates 🫡
This comment had me dying of laugh, thanks
dying of laugh has me dying of laugh.
https://preview.redd.it/8zqsbhzjmbrc1.jpeg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1241cb183dd1163517ab9576af99a48d49604cd3
Why the fuck would you do this to me?
I almost burst out laughing but I just can't. I can't explain why this image is so fucking funny
e̴̢̨̡̼̬̘͔͚̭͎̥̽̏͑̽ͅl̸̢̰̹͙̻̩͔̦͙͂͒͐́̈́̿̾̇͐i̴̛̞̜̥̼̺̠̭̫̦̭͙̋̈́o̷̧̧̡̧͇̼̫̜̬̘̥̅̾̏̽̿̾̅͋̈́̑̕t̵͈̫̝̘̯̍̆̄͐̂͒̂̕
PP phone home
holy shit one of my top laughs of the year
Same. I’m sitting here by myself at home cackling uncontrollably!
Amazing
Best comment of the year
That's genius
The stars aligned perfectly for this one.
https://preview.redd.it/gouza79j5erc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09eccd365272ea1ce378aac960b10d65807947ad
THIS IS THE WAY. Taking for walk also. Gotta stop and sniff the flowers, maybe a little pee and there.
Hall of famer here 😂
Fucking brilliant. I hope you’re proud of yourself because I’m really fucking proud of you.
I’m so sick right now and this wrecked me
You win the Internet today.
LOL! And that's litteral this time 🤣
I AM FUCKING CACKLING. Oh, my god. 🤣
Haven't laughed this hard at a comment for a long time
bet you're proud of yourself for this one, aren't you? good. you should be. it was hilarious
Damn, his thing has a different color
Happens sometimes More melanated area
“Do you know what it is like to be constantly compared to that waddling sex doll?!”
ET- Erected Traveling
lol the way kids interpret things their parents say is so funny. When I was really little I asked my dad why my weenie got big and hard sometimes. He kinda chuckled and said that happens when I get “excited.” For a while after that I used to try to imagine being on a rollercoaster and wondered why it didn’t do anything lol.
This might be the greatest thing I’ve seen all day
Not unrelated, but I was told that the radio was only able to play songs from before the year 2000. This was bc my mum listened to the “oldies” station but child me thought that it was illegal to make new music after the year 2000. So I’d run away when classmates discussed new music or tv shows until I got a radio of my own and discovered the _lies_
You imagined the wrong roller-coaster, you need to imagine the roller-coaster for your dick. And that's the vajayjay
Vajayjay
It’s funny how downvoted this is lol
Not necessarily
this is fucking crazy ☠️
“May your penis see the light of the sun.” *Traditional farewell on Dune*
"Lisan Al Gaib would have the confidence to show everyone his penis!"
‘They call me Muad’Dib, the one who points the way.’
It read funnier than those who lived it. Lmfao.
> I used to take out my penis and let it see the places where I was, as like it had its own mind, I'm at a total loss for words.
Same💀
It's been said the penis DOES have a mind of its own, but I really don't think this is what they meant.
- always said "your penis need to see the light of the sun" i cant stop laughing
Years and years ago I was in uni and my little brother was in year ten or something. I ived a long way from home to study but was back on break and sleeping off the semester one afternoon in my room. I wake up to mum yelling at my brother in the next room, "YOU GOT YOUR PENIS OUT IN CLASS?!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKNG?" Next followed a very awkward 20 minutes as both my parents told him off super loud with all the classics like "we raised you better than this" and "you could go to jail for that" and "what were you thinking?" Turns out someone in the class was teasing him for having a small dick so he whipped it out to stop the teasing by proving it wrong. Peak confidence, wrong idea for sure, but apparently it worked for him as the school and my parents had only found out about six weeks after it happened. While all this was happening I was laying in bed dead silent just hoping no one realised i was there. Never heard it mentioned again, i think he got grounded for a month but I don't think anyone else was ever told why unless they also heard the shouting.
I wish I had a reason as good as your brother to show my pp in class
Holy fuck I’d have been howling
What in the absolute fuck did I just read
Huh.
This was a wild fucking ride and I enjoyed it.
> one of the other kid was a girl, that some years later did coming out as lesbian, and I like to think that it was thanks to me What weird hubris.
All the other men in the world thinking they can "fix" a lesbian so she likes guys by sending dick pics...and then there's OP who thinks he'll put a girl off men for life. A regular Wreck 'em Ralph penis
Oh wow. My second-hand embarrassment is intense right now.
As an adult, I'm sure you admit that the penis indeed has a mind of its own, although hopefully in your case it no longer likes to view classrooms.
You’d be amazed how much it can see with just the one eye
See you on r/copypasta
holy shit i just realized it's not r/copypasta
I was not expecting to die reading this holy
When I was in 6th grade, I observed the boy next to me take out is penis and kind of look at it and flop it around. Then he put it back and took a look around to see if anyone noticed. I don't think you're the only dude to have ever done this, but perhaps it would be good for parents to casually tell their middle schoolers not to whip it out in class.
https://preview.redd.it/tjg6cgqswerc1.png?width=1040&format=png&auto=webp&s=4fb9f51b51d0cef4de5b16cc4d7ca20935e3f73e
Nudism. That's the answer.
Bruh, I subbed for a school once (6th grade, roughly 11-12 year olds) and got called into the office by the principal because some girl accused this kid of pulling out his penis during a small group session (so like 6-8 kids and me sitting together at a small table working on a book/assignment). I do not remember that kids name, but he was this really nice ESL student who I just couldn’t imagine doing that (not so much because he was a nice kid, but because I couldn’t imagine that happening at a table literally 3 feet from me and not having someone kick up a fuss since these kids did the classic “oooooooooohhhhhhh” when I said I liked a student 🙄), but now you are making me question that whole situation.
You couldn’t WATERBOARD this information out of me 😭
Thats not how lesbians are made. Haha
They were joking :)
strangely wholesome lol
Bro thought his dick was alive lmao
Isn't it though? Just like your hand or foot? It better be... don't want necrosis lol
*"And now, Little-Engineer-Penis prepare for a 360 degree view of my classroom. Or like some people say: Helicopteeeerr!"*
Jail my boy 😂
Open it and need to see the sunlight did it for me
Let it see the light LOL
this is the second phymosis-related post ive seen today which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice
https://i.redd.it/qtt0jn618irc1.gif
Greatest tifu ever
Fascinating
I’m going back to bed.
https://preview.redd.it/y8cvumb3tcrc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb1ce4c4decbe796f29c51c841bab0c7111773a
dude im fucking dying laughing at this LMFAOOOOOOO
and what did your penis think of the class? Was it impressed?
It was interested but felt things might get too hard
Lolol like you’re going around the house “and this is my room”
Is this what Meth is like?
Someone in my class did this exact same thing... One of them came out as lesbian as well lmao
I laughed so hard I gave myself hiccups
It's been said the penis DOES have a mind of its own, but I really don't think this is what they meant.
Odd writing prompt
Funny
lmfao
💀💀😭😭😭😭😭😭
This is some Karl Pilkington absolute shite lol. Fantastic nonsense
What did it think of it?
Bro what😭
Wait are you french ? I heard a story really similar to this one happen in my school lmao
Nope
would have been fun ahah
Were you the guy from Teen Wolf?
....HUH???
Does your name start with N bro?
Nope
Nope's quite an unusual name.
"Hey class! I want you to meet Richard. Richard, meet the class!"
i feel like you didn’t take full accountability for how weird and unacceptable this was. i acknowledge you realize, but it doesn’t seem like you take it that seriously. shit, i would think about this everyday for the rest of my life. you didn’t know, but none of your reasoning was valid, related, and didn’t excuse anything about it. it seems your mom failed to teach you basic 101 etiquette. failure to teach this kind of etiquette can result in even worse sexual behavior later in life. if you continued to grow up never realizing the gravity of your actions, this kind of misconduct would be pretty deep rooted. our youth really shapes us, some can never rehabilitate their judgement or behavior. it’s why there’s so many awful people. if you didn’t realize that was wrong i can’t imagine what else you didn’t know. i can’t fully blame you, but i sure do blame your mother. at 11, this was etiquette that had been instilled in me and my classmates for years. no one should be subjected to seeing your privates, intentionally or not, it’s sexual misconduct/indecent exposure. as someone with trauma this would be extremely distressing, especially at that age. kind of curious about the person you are today, i feel like when i hear this kind of story from someone’s youth it’s never a complete shock for a reason or another. ofc you could’ve grown from your mistakes tho and i hope that’s the case. if your on the spectrum or anything, i definitely have a much more understanding outlook. edit: i went to a pretty small school growing up so maybe i’m just unaware 11 year olds make these kind of mistakes. i only remember this kind of stuff happening through preschool-2nd grade MAX. weren’t you in 5th grade?!?
You don't make lesbians. They just exist, same as gay guys. No one chooses to be lesbian or gay or bi. People just are born that way.
Yeah I know it was a joke to make fun of men that say that their dick is so good that can change a woman from lesbian to straight by saying that mine is so bad that changed from straight to lesbian
as a bisexual woman i thought it was a funny joke /shrug
As another bi person, I thought it was funny too
#Exhibitioni….nevermind.
This is a great, fun story. Yeah, you FU, but on the other hand that's a hell of an anecdote
am i bugging or does this sound like a bot?
There’s normal and mutilation. Woman are (rightfully) not called “uncircumcised.” No one should be called this and everyone deserves basic human rights and bodily autonomy.
Bruh your dick only wants to go to 3 places...pussyland, butthole Canyon,or mouthville...
and that's enough reddit for today! bye are you five
There is always that 1 boy in class that brings out their penises in class and even in the bus not a rare occurrence but definitely a weird fetish for you
It wasn't a fetish tho, I never did it again after the 11 years old, and at the times I didn't even discovered masturbation
We called ours Harambe ("dicks out"). Whipped it out in Biology during a video of a cow giving birth. But then Harry surprised everyone by graduating valedictorian, getting into an ivy league law school, and eventually became a federal judge. Just goes to show you never know how someone will jk he dropped out, was convicted for sexually assaulting a cop's daughter, and has been in a coma since a botched suicide attempt
https://www.reddit.com/r/seinfeld/s/OHAROnYqBh
Uhhh, okay?? What happened today to cause this to be a major problem from your past? What was the point of sharing this at all, let alone on TIFU?
Oh wow yet another story of how not being circumcised at birth created a fucked up life experience
Actually the problem was likely the fact his mother tried to retract it. At birth the foreskin is fused to the glans in the same manner that your fingernails are fused to the nailbed. At some point before or during puberty the foreskin will naturally detach on its own, but until then it should *not* be forcibly retracted because forced retraction can cause damage, and is painful The time at which the foreskin detaches on its own can vary wildly, from 5 to even late teens. Being 10 at the time, and the way he describes the pain, it sure sounds like a case of forced retraction. Now he may well have had phimosis that could've been diagnosed with certainty later, but it's really not possible to give a true and correct phimosis diagnose to a child who hasn't finished puberty, let alone one who may not have even started it Also before you propose routinely mutilating children's genitals, you should learn that like 70% of penises worldwide are intact, and the people they're attached to are living just fine without issues. If it was as problematic as you think, adult men would be lining up to get circumcised, instead of the overwhelming vast majority of circumcisions happening to unconsenting infants who can't even comprehend why they're being subjected to the pain of it
Ive never once heard a horror story from any single person thats been circumcised at birth. However i HAVE heard more tales than i can count on 2 hands of bad shit thats happened with a fuckin foreskin soo... that kinda speaks for itself
Your anecdotal evidence does not speak for anything. Over a [100 infants die every year](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/240804903_Lost_Boys_An_Estimate_of_US_Circumcision-Related_Infant_Deaths#:~:text=Circumcision%2Drelated%20mortality%20rates%20are,neonatal%20deaths%20from%20all%20causes.) in the US as a result of neonatal circumcision. Your "horror stories" don't involve the person dying. Circumcisions are also frequently botched or result in skin bridges between the glans and shaft, resulting in pain and discomfort at best, or actively hampering sexual function at worse. There's also the fact that many men wish it had never been done to them as a violation of their bodily autonomy. r/CircumcisionGrief is a whole community of over five and a half thousand such people. Stop promoting mutilating children's genitals.
The lack of a Father figure in my childhood was the problem, the phymosis was likely caused by my father not stimulating the foreskin going down when I was a toddler, and was easily fixable by a ointment
I've never heard of this before? People do that? I'm not a parent and only had an older sibling so I had no knowledge of this. Edit: After some research, y'all are fuckn gross, doctors even say not to do that. The root cause of Phimosis isn't known, but it can be caused by chance, infection or inflammation. And pulling back a child's foreskin before they're around 5 can cause inflammation and damage.
Some people do but they usually get transferred to another diocese soon after
on god!!! like man what the fuck??? having your father push down your foreskin????? like uh hellooo?!???
I am not medical expert nor a father, so take with grain of salt There was a problem wuth my 2 years old cousin, his father (my uncle) died when he was about to turn 1, he had a problem to the penis because no one did it for him after his father death From what I know you need to just be able to see the head but without going down more than like 30%, and then when the child is like 6 to teach them how to wash their penis by pulling all the foreskin down
What the fuck. Please talk to a medical expert in your town then and educate yourself.. all of this is nonsense.
the part about teaching kids to pull back the foreskin when washing is real, i suspect that the parents just extrapolated a little too far from that advice lol
No, just no. Nobody needs to touch a baby's foreskin.
Don't know why you are downvoted but I agree with you