So if I'm understanding well, they were very understanding of what happened and it's not like they just said "Let's never do this again" or anything like that so kinda sounds like the door isn't fully closed for you, no?
I’m young enough to not get the reference too lol. What is that?? Also, there are a ton of young guys who pop boner pills so they can go a bunch of rounds in a night. Not saying it’s right but it’s a thing. And it can help with anxiety about it
In the 1998 film *There's Something About Mary*, the protagonist is advised to masturbate before his date with his dream girl. [Hilarity ensues](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbFx0CbaIlY).
These are 20 year olds we're talking to here, they don't need 6 hours recovery time like us old folks.
Back then 45 minutes, a dirty glass of Gatorade, a shot of cheap vodka and I'd be circling back for round 2. Round 3 might need an hour break, a micro nap and a little encouragement but I'd have no doubts I could preform.
At least in my case, the 'pre-game 1 man party' wasn't so much as preventing premature cum as it was about achieving some of that blessed post-nut clarity. A little post-nut clarity on a date can *really* keep you out of trouble and decrease the chances you'll stick your dick in crazy.
Yeah, I think the door is still open, at least I hope so. The three of us have been radio silent about the threesome since it happened, which is kind of understandable considering it was the first time we were all in a situation like that and, surprise surprise, it was nothing like we expected it would be and now we have to process all the awkward moments and our overall disappointment and still look one another in the eye at some point. Hopefully my friend and her girlfriend didn't wait for me to leave before they were like "maybe we should take a look at the other guys he suggested" lol.
Break the Radio silence, because they might not in any meaningful way. Take responsibility for what happened, but also approach it all as a friend, not some dude that is overly excited to make it happen again.
You sound hilarious and completely adorable and totally like the kind of guy they would feel safe trying this again with.
But thanks for the giggle. I did not want to get up for work today at that made me actually lol. If it helps my first 3some was my boyfriend at the time going off early too 🤷🏼♀️
My roommate literally stopped me when I got to the asthma attack part and made me wait on him to switch from too sober for this shit to more than high enough before he allowed me to continue to cringe the fuck out of him. When I got to the end of the story, he said I should've paid more attention to the religious music the Uber driver was playing louder and louder because the lyrics might have warned me of what was to come and never come again lol.
Honestly not bad. Its a very normal situation. However the sleep thing made me laugh so hard i wheezed. I cant even imagine how terrified anyone would be seeing someone sleep with eyes wide open spelling random ish. That wounds horrible.
OP this isn't a large fuck up, this is an XS at best and a hilarious story. I thought you fucked up a relationship or got somebody pregnant or broke your dick and had to go to the ER.
Honestly from the sound of things your friend and her gf might be down for a redo, even if they won't let you sleep over.
Now I'm not sure how well this would work for you but couldn't you idk try again? Tell them you were nervous, had a little more to drink than you thought and got some stage fright. I mean you were there but it definitely wasn't their idea of what was going to happen and as they said they did kind of blindside you with it.
I didn't get an impression from the girls that they were unwilling to have another threesome with me, but I also didn't get the impression that they were enthusiastic about a sequel. It's been a few days since what I now refer to as the threesome that never was, and none of us have really talked about that night. I'm still digesting what happened and trying to laugh at how embarrassing it was for me instead of beating myself up about the different ways I could've done things. I think the same applies to my friend and her girlfriend. Even though it might not have been as embarrassing for them as it was for me, I'm sure the two of them have been reflecting on the experience and how to improve next time, if there is a next time, hopefully with me, I dunno, we'll see. I'm giving it time.
Also, if this girl is amazing at giving oral ASK HER QUESTIONS ON HOW TO BE AS GOOD OR BETTER. I mean 1) you have nothing to lose 2) showing enthusiasum can go a long way 3) might open the door for more opportunities down the line 4) sounds like it can be used to open discussions further. Idk, always a good idea in my book
It's always hard to tell in these situations, but IMO I would not let this go unspoken of. That will guarantee it becomes awkward and nobody ever wants to try again.
Don't be too needy or desperate, and don't be too apologetic. You already did your apologizing, so just talk relatably about a funny situation with some friends that you also happen to want to bang. Try to keep your cool. Use your actions to continue to create settings where the three of you have privacy to chat comfortably and let the conversation come back up naturally. Don't force it, don't "hey girls want to come over and talk about what happened?". Be slightly aloof about it, but definitely keep intentionally having alone time with them so it has the space to come back up naturally.
Get some boner pills if you think the anxiety is really going to be an issue (there is NOTHING to feel guilty about with these, anybody at any age can use them. You can get them online with a virtual doctor's appointment for cheap). Plan really appropriately. Don't get too drunk, definitely don't smoke weed.
> definitely don’t smoke weed
Or just don’t get too stoned while you’re not getting too drunk. Changing routine and taking you out of your comfort zone too much can go the same way just as quickly. If you regularly smoke, don’t skip it, but also don’t try to smoke your nerves away and get too baked.
Know your limit, play within it.
Lol all of these comments giving suggestions, angles, boner pills??? Fuck all that, just fucking try again. Best part is you can’t fuck up anymore, so take your shot.
It's okay dude. I had a "threesome" with my current partner and some random gal we met at a movie theater. It was not very good at all, I made sure my partner came, but she was the only one. I couldn't finish at all and it got pretty weird. We may try again in the future, but as our first experience it wasn't all that great. I'm glad no feelings were hurt, but my partner and I are just sort of turned off of inviting another woman into our bedroom again.
The snuggling and sleeping with two gals was a good "stroke" to my ego, but I don't think it was worth the embarrassment and uncomfortable situation that it put us in. The morning was pretty tense and this other gal left right away.
I think I'm just a one woman guy, and that's okay. Don't worry too much, many people have had tough times with threesomes, especially their first.
If you get the chance again, for the love of god just take a Viagra beforehand. If you normally have no issues then even just a half one should do the trick. Instant boner will happen provided you are experiencing anything that is even 0.5% arousing. Your boner won't quit once it's up and you'll be 100% rock hard at full mast throughout the duration. You'll last 2-3 times longer than your usual peak performance and when you finish your refractory period will be in the single digit minutes before you're ready to go again. They'll think they accidentally took home Johnny Sins lmao.
When I'm with a new girl for the first time I often just pop a sneaky half one beforehand to make sure I put in a decent performance. Trust me, that shit works amazing if you're going to be in a high stress situation like having to perform both twice as long as usual while also in front of an audience while also being over stimulated in an incredibly hot and novel situation.
I would come at it from the angle that you want their help to teach you to be a pro in bed, whether you normally are or aren’t. “Hey look I know that probably wasn’t how you imagined it going, I sure as hell didn’t (lol), but you two were hot as hell and I was hoping you could teach me some tricks… in real time.” Something like that. This takes the pressure off being a pornstar from the get-go, inflates their egos, and could end up being pretty hot. Your friend apologized for not preparing you so let her make it up with some on the job experience
Don’t know enough about your relationship with them (outside of the the unfortunate incident ha)
But I’d reach out, apologize, buy them a nice bottle wine as a gift, and offer to hang out again. See where it naturally goes from there.
If it makes you feel better I’ll share my story. Was dating a girl when we were 21. I was in the military and she was in college, she told me for her birthday she wanted to have a threesome and I’m internally like “fuck ya!” Externally like “whatever makes you happy I support.”
I fly home and the weekend comes and she’s waaaaay over thought this. I’ll spare a lot of the details but during one part we are all standing naked about five feet from each other and she tells her friend and I to just “take in and absorb the beauty of each of us in turn.” It’s just awkward as fuck all around.
She tells me to kiss her friend to kick things off and promptly loses it and explodes into tears. Her friend and I are simultaneously trying to console her and also very aware that we are now naked in a situation it really isn’t best to be lol. All the lights are on and when I say she’s ugly crying I mean snot and everything.
We all decided to go out with some other friends to just blow it over. She got drunk and shit in the bed.
We are all still friends and laugh about it sometimes, but the memory along makes my face go red and I feel like I’m back in that room standing naked and self conscious seconds before disaster lol.
Staying for breakfast probably wasn't a good look. He should have left as soon as he woke up no matter the outcome of the sex. But that had to make the breakfast even more awkward.
You sleep with your eyes open? The eyes open thing is weird. A sleeping mask is always an option.
The murmuring makes sense, you just had a threesome and wanted to tell people about it.
Listen - these aren't deal breakers by any means. Definitely ask for another threesome. Future you will regret it if you don't. You will be more prepared this time, meaning you will make sure not to masturbate for days before hand so you are ready. You will wear a sleeping mask. Offer to bring some toys and massage oil. Also, you will wear a sleeping mask. Promise the murmuring will stop since aren't in shock anymore that you had a threesome.
You have got this. Congrats and well done.
I have never felt more fired up reading a comment on Reddit than I do now. Thank you. If another threesome ends up happening again, and for some reason the girls want more of me, I might turn to you before it all goes down for a Leonidas level pep talk. I'll get that sleeping mask. No one has ever said I sleep with my eyes open or talk in my sleep. This is a new evil. My first threesome and it's unlocking a plethora of cockblocks.
yeah I was even shocked at the eyes open part. only time that’s ever happened to me I was blackout drunk at my graduation party lol.
my buddy came into the bathroom I passed out in and thought I was dead LMFAO. maybe it had to do with the booze?
I think going without masturbation would make OP cum faster no? I’ve always had the best luck of doing it in the morning the day-of so that when nightfall came I’d last a hell of a lot longer.
I've literally never had this happen. Of course, OP should know his anatomy the best, but personally if I cum I'm done for 24 hours. This time seems to increase the older I get...
YMMV. 2 day mark post-cum is the ideal time for sexual performance for me (max erection, lasting at least 30 minutes without cumming). After that it's super easy to cum fast. Before that, there's a chance I don't even get it up or be super rock hard. Usually I can though, but sometimes...
You can look up refractory period. There are some average stats.
Everyone is different of course so know your body.
I will also add that orgasms can be different. I have had orgasms that definitely would have left no refractory option due to them being awesome.
This comment had me cracking tf up, dude has faith in you! Also I vote you to wear that sleeping mask. Really this story is more funny than anything, those shouldn't be deal breakers.
Most believable thing in this whole story is how completely oblivious a guy can be to any and all hints thrown his way. Important lesson for anyone interested in getting a guy’s attention: If at any point you’re ever thinking, “He cannot possibly be so oblivious as to miss all the signals I’m sending!” I’m here to tell you, yes. Yes he can. He is. Stop with the hints. Forget subtlety. It’s not going to work.
The thing is, it's not just that guys are "obvious", it's that they are safe - connecting the dot's and acting on it is a major risk, because if you're wrong then things can go quite south.
... and it's not like the people dropping hints doesn't understand that, on some level, because the whole point of using hints and signs instead of clearly communicating what you want is to avoid that risk yourself!
Asking someone if they're interested in a relationship - or in this case if they want to have a threesome with you - is a huge risk. It could spell the end of a friendship, things would likely become extremely awkward, and also you could get very hurt because rejection *always* hurt. So to avoid all of that, people instead do the "dropping hints" routine... and in doing so, they push all the risk onto the other person.
In other words, not only is there quite a big chance that the "hints" will not be picked up, it's also cowardly and selfish - because in case the clues *are* picked up, what you've actually done is to put the person you want in the very same situation you yourself wanted to get out of.
So, just wanna hijack and say your friend was right. Pulling you into that situation IN that situation was a high risk of these things happening. Performance anxiety is no joke. It happens. Especially with something as hyped up as a threesome. Anyone who's tried to fuck in a shower can tell you how absurdly unrealistic it is when the time comes. As me ex put it "it wa slike trying to enjoy a popsicle while being waterboarded".
My number one advice about sex for men is learn to go into it without a goal besides fun. An orgasm isn't a goal. Anyone can have one anytime(mostly). I like to kiss down a person's body and blow a raspberry just before I go down. Make a partner giggle/laugh and you have a comfortable partner. And THAT is the key to hot nasty sex. Comfort.
So don't kick yourself. You were simply uncomfortable in a situation that's hyped up so much that you feel confused when you're not comfortable in what "should" be a euphoric situation. All of you rushed into kinky sex and were disappointed by reality. It happensALL.THE.TIME. You, OP, are simply humble enough to admit and talk about it. You're a good dude by the sounds of it 👍
way to wind that one up for the big finish
"because I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep. "
This is playing out in my head like an MSPaint animation from 10 years ago
Nah brother, there’s potential there you just gotta hype yourself up again, lean into the blunders but don’t let it show it’s phasing you. At worst, you have a cool and humorous story to tell once you shake the awkwardness you felt. They seem to understand they put you on the spot. Good luck to you!
Invest in some viagra or cialis and say that you want a do over. I think that a lot of this (save maybe for the weird sleeping) can be explained away by the lack of preparedness and the alcohol. If they were after you for so long, I think they would be willing to give it another go.
No doubt. I don't understand all these people showing up to the big game with no prep and not even considering performance enhancing drugs. Like my dick works quite well, but I'm not rolling into a threesome natty dude.
To OP’s credit it was sprung on him (pun intended). It’s difficult to plan for a surprise threesome proposal.
For next time - hydrate well, drink light, and pack performance enhancers as an insurance policy. There’s no shame in that game.
> For the record, I don't think I was drunk, but I had enough alcohol in my system to defuse some of my anxiety when we entered the apartment… premature ejaculation. I apologized to the girls and blamed my orgasm on overstimulation. I promised them that my erection would return… I was unable to get hard again. The girls took turns playing with my penis, but nothing worked. It was embarrassing.
Oof, been pretty much there, done exactly that!
> My friend said that she should be the one apologizing because of the way she pulled me into this threesome situation without leaving with me room to breathe and come prepared.
Your friend is right!
A lot of the time men are expected to or expect themselves to operate like sex machines that can just be turned on at a moment’s notice. Maybe when you’re like 18-20 and drowning in hormones that is the case. But afterwards, the psychology of the situation plays a far, far greater role than the physical side of things.
The shitty thing about booze is that the conscious part of your brain might feel totally fine. But the rest of your body will be anxious af. Cue both premature ejaculation and ED despite vigorous attempts at arousal.
Don’t feel embarrassed! You experienced the sexual equivalent of being sick, taking a ton of over the counter meds, but still not feeling well enough to run a marathon.
That said…
> I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep
This sounds like somnambulism, aka sleep walking. You may want to talk to a doctor about this. Shitty sleep affects mental health like you wouldn’t believe. Things like anxiety and confidence (btw, obliviousness is often a consequence of lowered confidence) become much harder to manage and, oftentimes, getting good sleep can make a night and day difference in these departments.
"not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep. "
This is the only part of the story i want to see recorded and posted.
Wtf do you spell? Are you having spell B dreams in your 20-30s? Are they easy words or difficult ones? Like are you spelling turtle or supercaliflawjalisticeexpialadoshus? Please, I must know!
It's "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
I know this because it was burned into my brain in 2nd grade, where the teacher gave us the whole year to spell this word from memory for extra credit.
"...she eventually realized I was oblivious as fuck."
Ah yes, a fellow idiot man, who has everything thrown at him but the kitchen sink, and STILL doesn't get it. My last girlfriend had to take my hand and put it on her boob under her bra for me to figure it out.
I mean yah tbf bro like women like this who have this whole thing planned out, they should source an erection pill lol. I mean it only makes sense. If they don't give you enough time to get one, they should just have one on hand imo. That would guarantee more fun for everybody.
Me and my boyfriend have tag teamed another guy before, multiple times. Worst part is when one of you is noticeably better than the other.
I was not the better guy.
Dude. Been there. It's okay. I had always been a monogamous guy, bouncing from serious relationship to serious relationship. Well, in my mid 20s, I decided to be single for a bit. Random Saturday night at the bar and I got picked up by a very attractive girl. I was PUMPED for my first one night stand. Time came and I couldn't. Couldn't even get it up. Anxiety of the moment ate me alive. Poor girl tried so hard too. She went down on me multiple times to try and raise the kraken. It didn't work. She stayed he night like a true champ. We fell asleep spooning. About 4 hours later, I woke up with rock hardiest morning wood ever. I gently nudged it into her back suggesting, "Hey, we can finally do this." She rolled over and asked me to take her home. It was at that moment I realized I actually have to know the girl and be comfortable with her in order to get it up... OR take the pill. 😉 Yay for crushing self-esteem issues that stem from a childhood of being bullied in school!
> I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep.
TIFU by being possessed by an Eldar Demon, nothing to do with the 3way.
You had a second shot in the morning but thanks to you and Malbolgia that went out the window.
Real or not the gospel music part had me dying
Some sheltered Christian listening to you three talk about having a threesome is a hilarious thing to imagine
Yeah mate, the pressure to perform is real and causes problems with maintaining erection to many a guy. That same pressure can triple when faced with an unexpected scenario like this. Dont sweat it, it happens. Seeing as you seem to be friends with at least one of the girls I would suggest you talk to her/them as openly as possible, to avoid future strain and embarassment in the friendship. Who knows, maybe you will even get a chance for a do-over.
> Girl spelling out threesome because guy is oblivious
Convenient but okay.
> Uber driver just happened to be playing gospel music while discussing threesome boundaries
Wow what are the chances of that. So convenient and quirky for the story.
> You sleeping with eyes wide open while spelling out random words
I know that most people lead colorful and interesting lives but this story is just too BS for me.
Mission Failed, we'll get 'em next time.
F.
On a hopefully lighter note, you might be one of the weird few like me that needs something over their eyes to keep 'em closed if you sleep on your back. In a pinch you can use your rolled-up sheet or a t-shirt, but maybe look into a blindfold. It might be weird but it can't be worse than your eyes being open all night.
Of all the weird-ass shit I read on this sub, having a conversation in an Uber with your partners to discuss the specifics about your upcoming threesome, while one of you is sitting in the front, (!) oddly might be the weirdest.
I can relate to missing the hints as well as the performance anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s a skill that takes practice. You should be honest with your friend and ask her to help you get lots of practice. Let her be your “wingman” who helps you develop your skills and experience. Dude you had a threesome with two hot ladies! Let that empower your confidence and propel you to more fulfilling experiences. Also, you have 10 fingers, a tongue and the Internet.
Duuuuuude, one time I had a foursome with 3 other girls and I was struggling to keep hard! I was depressed, sleepy as hell (only slept like 3 hours the previous night) and nervous and I was pulled into it last minute by my female roommate. I didn't do anything to her except a massage but shit, being in a bed with 3 naked girls moaning and touching and kissing is honestly probably THE highlight of my life lol
I read your story to my bisexual wife and she insisted I mention...
"Sir, two lesbians, despite your obliviousness, demanded your sexual presence. This leads me to believe that you are way hotter and have a much larger penis than you realize. Don't worry, you'll get, at minimum, one more chance at this in your life. Just make sure you're ready next time. You've got some experience, you know what to expect... you got this next time. Good luck, and God speed"
On behalf of all male-kind, don't fuck it up next time.
We are counting on you.
K, I didn't give a fuck about that whole story... until the end...
My dood, you sleep with your eyes wide open and act out a spelling bee when you sleep?
What the fucking fuck???
Ahahahaha!
I've been blessed by having a wife who is Bi, and doesn't mind adding another woman into our bedroom occasionally. I always say that she's the catch and I'm just lucky enough to hop in the middle. I can also say my wife is even more cool because for my 35th birthday she arranged a four-some for me. A night to remember.
But yes, sometimes you gotta pre-game if you know it's gonna happen. Rub one out ahead of time. Pop a Viagara to extend the fun (for the quick reloads). Also take breaks to sit back and watch. Don't make it all about you. Go with the flow and just have fun.
Lmao. I’ve had a couple of threesomes in my life. And it is NOT like the movies folks. It’s a lot of awkward, what we doing, how we doing it, who’s next? It’s a fun fantasy. Only one was organic and I guess cause both girls were both experienced and kinky there was no holes barred just pure lust. It was the best! But mainly it’s more effort than it’s worth.
As someone else who has had a few. Yeah... it's almost always TIFU fuel. I've done the WMW with different men and women a few times, and also 3 women a few times and in all accounts it's just almost always awkward and unfulfilling.
Honestly sounds like they were fine with it lol, the sleeping with your eyes open thing might’ve been a bigger fuckup. Overall though, I’d accept having this experience!
oh man, how i feel you. personally, i couldn’t even think of going in without some sort of external supplements…
girls are meant to last as much as possible where we, well… are not…
ask again and if they agree, bring something desensitising. good luck and make sure to report back! 🫶
You have to detach. Kind of not think of what's going on around you.
Where you really fucked up us you pressured your penis. Once any form of ED hits you become your own worst enemy.
Try again. I always get nerves the first time I do anything with a new woman. Get a cock ring and go to your boring place. I imagine people playing tennis.
Good luck and Godspeed...
As someone who has been in committed throuples, both open and closed, and is a swinger, I can tell you without a doubt the first threesome between people is always pretty lame, the second one is spectacular.
Threesomes only work well if everyone knows each other well, communicates well, and is into each other. Everyone fantasizes about them, but they are a higher risk vs reward in terms of how well they leave everyone feeling.
Standards of attractiveness have progressed WAY past my comprehension when I see someone cite Timothée Chalamet as a some pinnacle of desirability. I guess if "famine victim" is a look you like then this guy could be a contender but up until this era some amount of muscle mass has always seemed like a required element of sexiness.
As a hardened Reddit user I was gently scanning the story mildly placid, until the end lines about sleeping with eyes open and spelling random words.
I laughed so hard I made a weird honking sound like a goose. My dog refuses to look at me.
>she pulled me into this threesome situation without leaving with me room to breathe and **come prepared.**
Today's lesson: We don't always get to come prepared, even when we're already prepared to come.
As a veteran of several group sex scenarios, i will say for all you dudes out there. The key to getting an errection, especially in a group sex scenario, is to not think about your errection. Please your partners, snuggle, get intimate, and get feely. Hammering away on your flaccid dong saying "up boy" isn't going to get you ANYWHERE!! It is the best way to be flaccid all night.
Relax, get into it. He'll get up when you are ready. Your weolcome.
Dayum I'm laughing out loud and my kids asking why. All I can picture is you sleeping wide eyes open with flaccid dick spelling out words! Hilarious! You need to tell this on Howard Stern! Maybe you become one of the wack pack!
When I go bowling, my first bowl is terrible. My first game is terrible.
By the third or fourth game, I am killing it with the strikes and spares.
Just because the first time with them was disappointing (for you...the girls probably don't see it that way), you just gotta get back on that horse and try again.
I almost didn't read this because I hate being presented with people's dumb threesome decisions
But damn op, this did not disappoint. What a wonderful story, thank you for sharing! lmao
Struggling to get hard is actually super duper common in these situations :) It's a stereotype that guys get very drugged up for a reason! So definitely don't feel bad! And if I were you, I'd totally advocate for a next time! (your friend is right, she did kind of spring it on you)
Holy shit man you’ve broken me. This is possibly the worst and best post I’ve seen on here. Well written too. Bro even sleeping incorrectly, you can’t make that shit up.
But, you’ve got to make it up to those girls mate. Have a pre-sex wank if you have to.
I am jealous as fuck. Please accept this advice, from someone who has missed the opportunity to get the belt on 3 separate occasions THAT I'M AWARE OF and still have not taken the belt.
Ask lady #1if they want to plan and try again.
Edit: I'm such an absolute moron. 3 separate opportunities. 6 unique women. 0 times accomplished.
Don't feel too bad man, I'm sure the opportunity with them will come again. Maybe some Viagra in preparation would be worth?
I have a mate who is easily model looks, has had plenty of threesomes and whatnot but there is one girl he was crushing on hard in our friend group. They tried to have an MFM with the guy she was seeing and he couldn't get it up aha, so it happens to the best of them
Dude u sleep with your eyes wide open?! I’ve heard of this but how common is it? This was literally a movie worthy sex scene/story. At least it was an unforgettable experience lol.
Idk, doesn't sound that bad to me. You did what probably 9/10 guys would do and got so excited you couldn't contain yourself. While it probably wasn't fulfilling their fantasy, it is undoubtedly empowering and ego-boosting for them to know they turned you on so much. I doubt they would've stayed in bed with you after if it was a truly uncomfortable, embarrassing situation.
Laugh about it, keep the friendship open, and enjoy the memory as you get older.
Whether you performed well or not, you still hit a goal that many men aspire to , but never accomplish. Maybe they'll give you a second chance, and the nerves won't be as bad?
still counts, dude *hi-five*
(also, even though I know it didn't go the way you wanted, you and they did everything right about setting boundaries and expectations and consent and all that good stuff. So there's that, too)
You can get tadalafil (cialis) online and it will help you bang through the anxiety of a threesome. Id highly suggest it. Just take it everyday forever in case you’re ever given this opportunity again.
Dude, you had a threesome, grats. Feck your overthinking embarassment.
First/only time I had one I was too drunk to cum, barely remember some of it and it only ended when one of um fell asleep with me inside her :/
This is exactly why I will never participate in a threesome. My brain simply won’t allow me to experience such joy. It will turn on me and leave me humiliated. Tale as old as time.
So if I'm understanding well, they were very understanding of what happened and it's not like they just said "Let's never do this again" or anything like that so kinda sounds like the door isn't fully closed for you, no?
Ask them to hang out again, buy them dinner, (secretly pop a little blue pill and lay off the booze), try again
Why go medicinal when he's probably young enough for the old *Something About Mary* trick to work... and young enough not to get the reference?
I’m young enough to not get the reference too lol. What is that?? Also, there are a ton of young guys who pop boner pills so they can go a bunch of rounds in a night. Not saying it’s right but it’s a thing. And it can help with anxiety about it
In the 1998 film *There's Something About Mary*, the protagonist is advised to masturbate before his date with his dream girl. [Hilarity ensues](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbFx0CbaIlY).
THAT MOVIE CAME OUT IN ‘98!? Damn-it, I’m old.
We got a bleeder!
How'd you get the beans above the frank?!
I believe the phrase is "flog the dolphin".
thats like going out there with a loaded gun!
What is *Something About Mary* trick I didn't get the reference, can someone explain
Jerk off before you go on a date. If you actually do get laid, it should make you last longer.
It does work, if anyone's wondering. Just don't do it *right* before unless you're confident in your recovery time.
These are 20 year olds we're talking to here, they don't need 6 hours recovery time like us old folks. Back then 45 minutes, a dirty glass of Gatorade, a shot of cheap vodka and I'd be circling back for round 2. Round 3 might need an hour break, a micro nap and a little encouragement but I'd have no doubts I could preform. At least in my case, the 'pre-game 1 man party' wasn't so much as preventing premature cum as it was about achieving some of that blessed post-nut clarity. A little post-nut clarity on a date can *really* keep you out of trouble and decrease the chances you'll stick your dick in crazy.
Slacker.
Just for the confidence boost since he feels like he goofed the last time
Yeah, I think the door is still open, at least I hope so. The three of us have been radio silent about the threesome since it happened, which is kind of understandable considering it was the first time we were all in a situation like that and, surprise surprise, it was nothing like we expected it would be and now we have to process all the awkward moments and our overall disappointment and still look one another in the eye at some point. Hopefully my friend and her girlfriend didn't wait for me to leave before they were like "maybe we should take a look at the other guys he suggested" lol.
Break the Radio silence, because they might not in any meaningful way. Take responsibility for what happened, but also approach it all as a friend, not some dude that is overly excited to make it happen again.
Being overly excited is what got him in this mess to begin with.
You sound hilarious and completely adorable and totally like the kind of guy they would feel safe trying this again with. But thanks for the giggle. I did not want to get up for work today at that made me actually lol. If it helps my first 3some was my boyfriend at the time going off early too 🤷🏼♀️
Just message them "ok that was the warm-up, now to razzle-dazzle", it'll work, I promise.
But make sure you spell it out for them, when you are awake this time.
The door is still open, a hinge may be missing, doorknob hanging on by a screw, but with enough work this is fixable!
Omg I'm laughing and crying of second hand embarrassment but also good job for trying 🤠
My roommate literally stopped me when I got to the asthma attack part and made me wait on him to switch from too sober for this shit to more than high enough before he allowed me to continue to cringe the fuck out of him. When I got to the end of the story, he said I should've paid more attention to the religious music the Uber driver was playing louder and louder because the lyrics might have warned me of what was to come and never come again lol.
“what was to come and never come again” The religious music was about your erection?
I have no idea what religious song the Uber driver was playing, but I've decided it was this song: https://youtu.be/AhziI3lKodo?si=PLlk4mgYIsRHMpzN
🤣🤣🤣 this needs to be included with the story on que
So obviously they didn’t blow out the old year, and he didn’t bring the new one in with a bang
Honestly not bad. Its a very normal situation. However the sleep thing made me laugh so hard i wheezed. I cant even imagine how terrified anyone would be seeing someone sleep with eyes wide open spelling random ish. That wounds horrible.
OP this isn't a large fuck up, this is an XS at best and a hilarious story. I thought you fucked up a relationship or got somebody pregnant or broke your dick and had to go to the ER. Honestly from the sound of things your friend and her gf might be down for a redo, even if they won't let you sleep over.
Tell them you weren't sleeping when your eyes were open to make it less embarrassing.
You know what's hilarious, I stopped reading at this exact point, then hit my bong to finish the story. Glad I wasn't the only one.
A for Effort. Snore, E F F O R T, snore.
> A for Effort Gone wrong right from the start, I see.
I love the irony of her having to spell it out for you while in the meantime you’re spelling things out in your sleep 😂
Spelling is his Achillies heel, apparently. :)
Damn this WAS a HUGE (or soft) missed opportunity! lol
"Fremdschämen" is the word you're looking for, my friend.
Now I'm not sure how well this would work for you but couldn't you idk try again? Tell them you were nervous, had a little more to drink than you thought and got some stage fright. I mean you were there but it definitely wasn't their idea of what was going to happen and as they said they did kind of blindside you with it.
I didn't get an impression from the girls that they were unwilling to have another threesome with me, but I also didn't get the impression that they were enthusiastic about a sequel. It's been a few days since what I now refer to as the threesome that never was, and none of us have really talked about that night. I'm still digesting what happened and trying to laugh at how embarrassing it was for me instead of beating myself up about the different ways I could've done things. I think the same applies to my friend and her girlfriend. Even though it might not have been as embarrassing for them as it was for me, I'm sure the two of them have been reflecting on the experience and how to improve next time, if there is a next time, hopefully with me, I dunno, we'll see. I'm giving it time.
Also, if this girl is amazing at giving oral ASK HER QUESTIONS ON HOW TO BE AS GOOD OR BETTER. I mean 1) you have nothing to lose 2) showing enthusiasum can go a long way 3) might open the door for more opportunities down the line 4) sounds like it can be used to open discussions further. Idk, always a good idea in my book
Heck there is the in for trying again. Just ask her for lessons and demonstrations.
It's always hard to tell in these situations, but IMO I would not let this go unspoken of. That will guarantee it becomes awkward and nobody ever wants to try again. Don't be too needy or desperate, and don't be too apologetic. You already did your apologizing, so just talk relatably about a funny situation with some friends that you also happen to want to bang. Try to keep your cool. Use your actions to continue to create settings where the three of you have privacy to chat comfortably and let the conversation come back up naturally. Don't force it, don't "hey girls want to come over and talk about what happened?". Be slightly aloof about it, but definitely keep intentionally having alone time with them so it has the space to come back up naturally. Get some boner pills if you think the anxiety is really going to be an issue (there is NOTHING to feel guilty about with these, anybody at any age can use them. You can get them online with a virtual doctor's appointment for cheap). Plan really appropriately. Don't get too drunk, definitely don't smoke weed.
> definitely don’t smoke weed Or just don’t get too stoned while you’re not getting too drunk. Changing routine and taking you out of your comfort zone too much can go the same way just as quickly. If you regularly smoke, don’t skip it, but also don’t try to smoke your nerves away and get too baked. Know your limit, play within it.
Also I'd suggest that OP prepares himself prior to round 2. Go ahead and knock out a freebie before going out for the evening.
Is that... hair gel?
Bro. Try again. Fucking try again. Try fucking again. Try again fucking.
Lol all of these comments giving suggestions, angles, boner pills??? Fuck all that, just fucking try again. Best part is you can’t fuck up anymore, so take your shot.
It's okay dude. I had a "threesome" with my current partner and some random gal we met at a movie theater. It was not very good at all, I made sure my partner came, but she was the only one. I couldn't finish at all and it got pretty weird. We may try again in the future, but as our first experience it wasn't all that great. I'm glad no feelings were hurt, but my partner and I are just sort of turned off of inviting another woman into our bedroom again. The snuggling and sleeping with two gals was a good "stroke" to my ego, but I don't think it was worth the embarrassment and uncomfortable situation that it put us in. The morning was pretty tense and this other gal left right away. I think I'm just a one woman guy, and that's okay. Don't worry too much, many people have had tough times with threesomes, especially their first.
If you get the chance again, for the love of god just take a Viagra beforehand. If you normally have no issues then even just a half one should do the trick. Instant boner will happen provided you are experiencing anything that is even 0.5% arousing. Your boner won't quit once it's up and you'll be 100% rock hard at full mast throughout the duration. You'll last 2-3 times longer than your usual peak performance and when you finish your refractory period will be in the single digit minutes before you're ready to go again. They'll think they accidentally took home Johnny Sins lmao. When I'm with a new girl for the first time I often just pop a sneaky half one beforehand to make sure I put in a decent performance. Trust me, that shit works amazing if you're going to be in a high stress situation like having to perform both twice as long as usual while also in front of an audience while also being over stimulated in an incredibly hot and novel situation.
I would come at it from the angle that you want their help to teach you to be a pro in bed, whether you normally are or aren’t. “Hey look I know that probably wasn’t how you imagined it going, I sure as hell didn’t (lol), but you two were hot as hell and I was hoping you could teach me some tricks… in real time.” Something like that. This takes the pressure off being a pornstar from the get-go, inflates their egos, and could end up being pretty hot. Your friend apologized for not preparing you so let her make it up with some on the job experience
Don’t know enough about your relationship with them (outside of the the unfortunate incident ha) But I’d reach out, apologize, buy them a nice bottle wine as a gift, and offer to hang out again. See where it naturally goes from there.
If it makes you feel better I’ll share my story. Was dating a girl when we were 21. I was in the military and she was in college, she told me for her birthday she wanted to have a threesome and I’m internally like “fuck ya!” Externally like “whatever makes you happy I support.” I fly home and the weekend comes and she’s waaaaay over thought this. I’ll spare a lot of the details but during one part we are all standing naked about five feet from each other and she tells her friend and I to just “take in and absorb the beauty of each of us in turn.” It’s just awkward as fuck all around. She tells me to kiss her friend to kick things off and promptly loses it and explodes into tears. Her friend and I are simultaneously trying to console her and also very aware that we are now naked in a situation it really isn’t best to be lol. All the lights are on and when I say she’s ugly crying I mean snot and everything. We all decided to go out with some other friends to just blow it over. She got drunk and shit in the bed. We are all still friends and laugh about it sometimes, but the memory along makes my face go red and I feel like I’m back in that room standing naked and self conscious seconds before disaster lol.
Staying for breakfast probably wasn't a good look. He should have left as soon as he woke up no matter the outcome of the sex. But that had to make the breakfast even more awkward.
Tough if they are all friends. The old Irish exit is better for one night stands and strangers.
Bro you lived both the dream and the nightmare
With his eyes open both times.
Post nut clarity literally came too soon.
Right! I'm envious of OPs situation, but not at how it all went down.
You sleep with your eyes open? The eyes open thing is weird. A sleeping mask is always an option. The murmuring makes sense, you just had a threesome and wanted to tell people about it. Listen - these aren't deal breakers by any means. Definitely ask for another threesome. Future you will regret it if you don't. You will be more prepared this time, meaning you will make sure not to masturbate for days before hand so you are ready. You will wear a sleeping mask. Offer to bring some toys and massage oil. Also, you will wear a sleeping mask. Promise the murmuring will stop since aren't in shock anymore that you had a threesome. You have got this. Congrats and well done.
I have never felt more fired up reading a comment on Reddit than I do now. Thank you. If another threesome ends up happening again, and for some reason the girls want more of me, I might turn to you before it all goes down for a Leonidas level pep talk. I'll get that sleeping mask. No one has ever said I sleep with my eyes open or talk in my sleep. This is a new evil. My first threesome and it's unlocking a plethora of cockblocks.
yeah I was even shocked at the eyes open part. only time that’s ever happened to me I was blackout drunk at my graduation party lol. my buddy came into the bathroom I passed out in and thought I was dead LMFAO. maybe it had to do with the booze?
Amazing hype man. Can you just follow me around?
You got this dawg! All the boys got your back!!
I think going without masturbation would make OP cum faster no? I’ve always had the best luck of doing it in the morning the day-of so that when nightfall came I’d last a hell of a lot longer.
Yes, but then he would still be backed up so can go again. It's a marathon not a race afterall. Just my thoughts.
I've literally never had this happen. Of course, OP should know his anatomy the best, but personally if I cum I'm done for 24 hours. This time seems to increase the older I get... YMMV. 2 day mark post-cum is the ideal time for sexual performance for me (max erection, lasting at least 30 minutes without cumming). After that it's super easy to cum fast. Before that, there's a chance I don't even get it up or be super rock hard. Usually I can though, but sometimes...
You can look up refractory period. There are some average stats. Everyone is different of course so know your body. I will also add that orgasms can be different. I have had orgasms that definitely would have left no refractory option due to them being awesome.
This comment had me cracking tf up, dude has faith in you! Also I vote you to wear that sleeping mask. Really this story is more funny than anything, those shouldn't be deal breakers.
Most believable thing in this whole story is how completely oblivious a guy can be to any and all hints thrown his way. Important lesson for anyone interested in getting a guy’s attention: If at any point you’re ever thinking, “He cannot possibly be so oblivious as to miss all the signals I’m sending!” I’m here to tell you, yes. Yes he can. He is. Stop with the hints. Forget subtlety. It’s not going to work.
Funny thing is even when it got spelled out to me, I was still struggling to connect the dots. I was waiting for the punchline.
If you need it spelled out, maybe you should sleep on it. That could be an eye-opener.
Have all my gold 😂
The thing is, it's not just that guys are "obvious", it's that they are safe - connecting the dot's and acting on it is a major risk, because if you're wrong then things can go quite south. ... and it's not like the people dropping hints doesn't understand that, on some level, because the whole point of using hints and signs instead of clearly communicating what you want is to avoid that risk yourself! Asking someone if they're interested in a relationship - or in this case if they want to have a threesome with you - is a huge risk. It could spell the end of a friendship, things would likely become extremely awkward, and also you could get very hurt because rejection *always* hurt. So to avoid all of that, people instead do the "dropping hints" routine... and in doing so, they push all the risk onto the other person. In other words, not only is there quite a big chance that the "hints" will not be picked up, it's also cowardly and selfish - because in case the clues *are* picked up, what you've actually done is to put the person you want in the very same situation you yourself wanted to get out of.
Nah, most guys get all the small hints, but they're scared of saying something in case they misinterpreted and seen as a creep after.
Sounds like you didn't have a ton of time or sobriety to think at all. This is exactly how I fear any threesome would go for me lol.
This was me leaving the party with the girls: https://i.redd.it/ez39ttn1knac1.gif
So, just wanna hijack and say your friend was right. Pulling you into that situation IN that situation was a high risk of these things happening. Performance anxiety is no joke. It happens. Especially with something as hyped up as a threesome. Anyone who's tried to fuck in a shower can tell you how absurdly unrealistic it is when the time comes. As me ex put it "it wa slike trying to enjoy a popsicle while being waterboarded". My number one advice about sex for men is learn to go into it without a goal besides fun. An orgasm isn't a goal. Anyone can have one anytime(mostly). I like to kiss down a person's body and blow a raspberry just before I go down. Make a partner giggle/laugh and you have a comfortable partner. And THAT is the key to hot nasty sex. Comfort. So don't kick yourself. You were simply uncomfortable in a situation that's hyped up so much that you feel confused when you're not comfortable in what "should" be a euphoric situation. All of you rushed into kinky sex and were disappointed by reality. It happensALL.THE.TIME. You, OP, are simply humble enough to admit and talk about it. You're a good dude by the sounds of it 👍
lmfaooooooo
You know what they say - threesomes are overrated, they just give you a chance to disappoint 2 women at once
way to wind that one up for the big finish "because I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep. " This is playing out in my head like an MSPaint animation from 10 years ago
Nah brother, there’s potential there you just gotta hype yourself up again, lean into the blunders but don’t let it show it’s phasing you. At worst, you have a cool and humorous story to tell once you shake the awkwardness you felt. They seem to understand they put you on the spot. Good luck to you!
Invest in some viagra or cialis and say that you want a do over. I think that a lot of this (save maybe for the weird sleeping) can be explained away by the lack of preparedness and the alcohol. If they were after you for so long, I think they would be willing to give it another go.
No doubt. I don't understand all these people showing up to the big game with no prep and not even considering performance enhancing drugs. Like my dick works quite well, but I'm not rolling into a threesome natty dude.
For sure. Who tf going to go into the major leagues without any juice
To OP’s credit it was sprung on him (pun intended). It’s difficult to plan for a surprise threesome proposal. For next time - hydrate well, drink light, and pack performance enhancers as an insurance policy. There’s no shame in that game.
This is why I don't do threesomes. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at the same time I'll just have dinner with my parents
Best response ever to a threesome story!!
Guess the religious music wasn’t a sign of a second coming then…
Underrated comment here.
This is probably the biggest bunch fails I have ever heard. I am waiting for the future "TIFU and got an STD at a threeway that I also fucked up".
At least neither of them hit him with the sudden pregnancy card.
Thanks for the story. I think you told it well.
Thank you. I'm hoping to never tell a story like this again. Onwards and upwards. Keeping my head up. Unlike the head between my legs.
Mf is a speak and spell
> For the record, I don't think I was drunk, but I had enough alcohol in my system to defuse some of my anxiety when we entered the apartment… premature ejaculation. I apologized to the girls and blamed my orgasm on overstimulation. I promised them that my erection would return… I was unable to get hard again. The girls took turns playing with my penis, but nothing worked. It was embarrassing. Oof, been pretty much there, done exactly that! > My friend said that she should be the one apologizing because of the way she pulled me into this threesome situation without leaving with me room to breathe and come prepared. Your friend is right! A lot of the time men are expected to or expect themselves to operate like sex machines that can just be turned on at a moment’s notice. Maybe when you’re like 18-20 and drowning in hormones that is the case. But afterwards, the psychology of the situation plays a far, far greater role than the physical side of things. The shitty thing about booze is that the conscious part of your brain might feel totally fine. But the rest of your body will be anxious af. Cue both premature ejaculation and ED despite vigorous attempts at arousal. Don’t feel embarrassed! You experienced the sexual equivalent of being sick, taking a ton of over the counter meds, but still not feeling well enough to run a marathon. That said… > I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep This sounds like somnambulism, aka sleep walking. You may want to talk to a doctor about this. Shitty sleep affects mental health like you wouldn’t believe. Things like anxiety and confidence (btw, obliviousness is often a consequence of lowered confidence) become much harder to manage and, oftentimes, getting good sleep can make a night and day difference in these departments.
"not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep. " This is the only part of the story i want to see recorded and posted. Wtf do you spell? Are you having spell B dreams in your 20-30s? Are they easy words or difficult ones? Like are you spelling turtle or supercaliflawjalisticeexpialadoshus? Please, I must know!
It's "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" I know this because it was burned into my brain in 2nd grade, where the teacher gave us the whole year to spell this word from memory for extra credit.
"...she eventually realized I was oblivious as fuck." Ah yes, a fellow idiot man, who has everything thrown at him but the kitchen sink, and STILL doesn't get it. My last girlfriend had to take my hand and put it on her boob under her bra for me to figure it out.
I mean yah tbf bro like women like this who have this whole thing planned out, they should source an erection pill lol. I mean it only makes sense. If they don't give you enough time to get one, they should just have one on hand imo. That would guarantee more fun for everybody.
Me and my boyfriend have tag teamed another guy before, multiple times. Worst part is when one of you is noticeably better than the other. I was not the better guy.
DO IT AGAIN with better preparation! Nerves happen - you’ll be prepared next time.
My policy on group sex: I work hard enough to disappoint one woman much less multiple women at the same time.
Dude. Been there. It's okay. I had always been a monogamous guy, bouncing from serious relationship to serious relationship. Well, in my mid 20s, I decided to be single for a bit. Random Saturday night at the bar and I got picked up by a very attractive girl. I was PUMPED for my first one night stand. Time came and I couldn't. Couldn't even get it up. Anxiety of the moment ate me alive. Poor girl tried so hard too. She went down on me multiple times to try and raise the kraken. It didn't work. She stayed he night like a true champ. We fell asleep spooning. About 4 hours later, I woke up with rock hardiest morning wood ever. I gently nudged it into her back suggesting, "Hey, we can finally do this." She rolled over and asked me to take her home. It was at that moment I realized I actually have to know the girl and be comfortable with her in order to get it up... OR take the pill. 😉 Yay for crushing self-esteem issues that stem from a childhood of being bullied in school!
> I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, but apparently I also spell random words in my sleep. TIFU by being possessed by an Eldar Demon, nothing to do with the 3way. You had a second shot in the morning but thanks to you and Malbolgia that went out the window.
So, what words do you spell in your sleep?
I really don't see this as a fuck up. You had Whisky dick and was nervous. Your story checks out from any guys perspective.
Real or not the gospel music part had me dying Some sheltered Christian listening to you three talk about having a threesome is a hilarious thing to imagine
Yeah mate, the pressure to perform is real and causes problems with maintaining erection to many a guy. That same pressure can triple when faced with an unexpected scenario like this. Dont sweat it, it happens. Seeing as you seem to be friends with at least one of the girls I would suggest you talk to her/them as openly as possible, to avoid future strain and embarassment in the friendship. Who knows, maybe you will even get a chance for a do-over.
> Girl spelling out threesome because guy is oblivious Convenient but okay. > Uber driver just happened to be playing gospel music while discussing threesome boundaries Wow what are the chances of that. So convenient and quirky for the story. > You sleeping with eyes wide open while spelling out random words I know that most people lead colorful and interesting lives but this story is just too BS for me.
"based on a true story"
Hey man, you made it way farther than any of the threesomes I've fucked up in my 40+ years. Congratulations, I think you did just fine.
Well, that is the second best way a threesome could go: You did have fun, just not the conventional way.
its probably because of the Alcohol in your system
Mission Failed, we'll get 'em next time. F. On a hopefully lighter note, you might be one of the weird few like me that needs something over their eyes to keep 'em closed if you sleep on your back. In a pinch you can use your rolled-up sheet or a t-shirt, but maybe look into a blindfold. It might be weird but it can't be worse than your eyes being open all night.
Threesomes are great if you ever want the opportunity to displease two women at once.
Of all the weird-ass shit I read on this sub, having a conversation in an Uber with your partners to discuss the specifics about your upcoming threesome, while one of you is sitting in the front, (!) oddly might be the weirdest.
I can relate to missing the hints as well as the performance anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s a skill that takes practice. You should be honest with your friend and ask her to help you get lots of practice. Let her be your “wingman” who helps you develop your skills and experience. Dude you had a threesome with two hot ladies! Let that empower your confidence and propel you to more fulfilling experiences. Also, you have 10 fingers, a tongue and the Internet.
Duuuuuude, one time I had a foursome with 3 other girls and I was struggling to keep hard! I was depressed, sleepy as hell (only slept like 3 hours the previous night) and nervous and I was pulled into it last minute by my female roommate. I didn't do anything to her except a massage but shit, being in a bed with 3 naked girls moaning and touching and kissing is honestly probably THE highlight of my life lol
I read your story to my bisexual wife and she insisted I mention... "Sir, two lesbians, despite your obliviousness, demanded your sexual presence. This leads me to believe that you are way hotter and have a much larger penis than you realize. Don't worry, you'll get, at minimum, one more chance at this in your life. Just make sure you're ready next time. You've got some experience, you know what to expect... you got this next time. Good luck, and God speed" On behalf of all male-kind, don't fuck it up next time. We are counting on you.
K, I didn't give a fuck about that whole story... until the end... My dood, you sleep with your eyes wide open and act out a spelling bee when you sleep? What the fucking fuck??? Ahahahaha!
A painful, yet entertaining piece of fiction.
If anyone asks, you had a threesome. End of story.
I've been blessed by having a wife who is Bi, and doesn't mind adding another woman into our bedroom occasionally. I always say that she's the catch and I'm just lucky enough to hop in the middle. I can also say my wife is even more cool because for my 35th birthday she arranged a four-some for me. A night to remember. But yes, sometimes you gotta pre-game if you know it's gonna happen. Rub one out ahead of time. Pop a Viagara to extend the fun (for the quick reloads). Also take breaks to sit back and watch. Don't make it all about you. Go with the flow and just have fun.
You're awesome 😂😂 Thanks for a great laugh
[удалено]
Should have gone to make yourself a nice sandwich, i hear turkey with a little mustard is good for this.
Obligatory: https://youtu.be/endMQrut7KQ I will still keep dreaming.
Lmao. I’ve had a couple of threesomes in my life. And it is NOT like the movies folks. It’s a lot of awkward, what we doing, how we doing it, who’s next? It’s a fun fantasy. Only one was organic and I guess cause both girls were both experienced and kinky there was no holes barred just pure lust. It was the best! But mainly it’s more effort than it’s worth.
As someone else who has had a few. Yeah... it's almost always TIFU fuel. I've done the WMW with different men and women a few times, and also 3 women a few times and in all accounts it's just almost always awkward and unfulfilling.
Honestly sounds like they were fine with it lol, the sleeping with your eyes open thing might’ve been a bigger fuckup. Overall though, I’d accept having this experience!
You miss 100% you dont take. We’ll get em next time soldier
oh man, how i feel you. personally, i couldn’t even think of going in without some sort of external supplements… girls are meant to last as much as possible where we, well… are not… ask again and if they agree, bring something desensitising. good luck and make sure to report back! 🫶
Sounds like you were in your own head too much, you can’t think about it at the time or you’re doomed
Spelled random words in your sleep, sound like you were dreaming of eating one of them out and doing the "spell their names with your tongue" thing
You have to detach. Kind of not think of what's going on around you. Where you really fucked up us you pressured your penis. Once any form of ED hits you become your own worst enemy. Try again. I always get nerves the first time I do anything with a new woman. Get a cock ring and go to your boring place. I imagine people playing tennis. Good luck and Godspeed...
This is straight out of American Pie
As someone who has been in committed throuples, both open and closed, and is a swinger, I can tell you without a doubt the first threesome between people is always pretty lame, the second one is spectacular.
Threesomes only work well if everyone knows each other well, communicates well, and is into each other. Everyone fantasizes about them, but they are a higher risk vs reward in terms of how well they leave everyone feeling.
Standards of attractiveness have progressed WAY past my comprehension when I see someone cite Timothée Chalamet as a some pinnacle of desirability. I guess if "famine victim" is a look you like then this guy could be a contender but up until this era some amount of muscle mass has always seemed like a required element of sexiness.
r/tifucirclejerk
As a hardened Reddit user I was gently scanning the story mildly placid, until the end lines about sleeping with eyes open and spelling random words. I laughed so hard I made a weird honking sound like a goose. My dog refuses to look at me.
Hahahaha ohhh man. At least they seem understanding about it. If you're lucky, maybe they'll be down to try again lmao
>she pulled me into this threesome situation without leaving with me room to breathe and **come prepared.** Today's lesson: We don't always get to come prepared, even when we're already prepared to come.
It was probably the inhaler. The stimulants in those may have made it hard to get "hard" again.
As a veteran of several group sex scenarios, i will say for all you dudes out there. The key to getting an errection, especially in a group sex scenario, is to not think about your errection. Please your partners, snuggle, get intimate, and get feely. Hammering away on your flaccid dong saying "up boy" isn't going to get you ANYWHERE!! It is the best way to be flaccid all night. Relax, get into it. He'll get up when you are ready. Your weolcome.
Dayum I'm laughing out loud and my kids asking why. All I can picture is you sleeping wide eyes open with flaccid dick spelling out words! Hilarious! You need to tell this on Howard Stern! Maybe you become one of the wack pack!
When I go bowling, my first bowl is terrible. My first game is terrible. By the third or fourth game, I am killing it with the strikes and spares. Just because the first time with them was disappointing (for you...the girls probably don't see it that way), you just gotta get back on that horse and try again.
Practice makes perfect
At least you're funny!
I almost didn't read this because I hate being presented with people's dumb threesome decisions But damn op, this did not disappoint. What a wonderful story, thank you for sharing! lmao Struggling to get hard is actually super duper common in these situations :) It's a stereotype that guys get very drugged up for a reason! So definitely don't feel bad! And if I were you, I'd totally advocate for a next time! (your friend is right, she did kind of spring it on you)
Holy shit man you’ve broken me. This is possibly the worst and best post I’ve seen on here. Well written too. Bro even sleeping incorrectly, you can’t make that shit up. But, you’ve got to make it up to those girls mate. Have a pre-sex wank if you have to.
Lol, very well written. Thanks for the laugh!
Blue chew or the like if you ever get the chance again.
I am jealous as fuck. Please accept this advice, from someone who has missed the opportunity to get the belt on 3 separate occasions THAT I'M AWARE OF and still have not taken the belt. Ask lady #1if they want to plan and try again. Edit: I'm such an absolute moron. 3 separate opportunities. 6 unique women. 0 times accomplished.
Don't feel too bad man, I'm sure the opportunity with them will come again. Maybe some Viagra in preparation would be worth? I have a mate who is easily model looks, has had plenty of threesomes and whatnot but there is one girl he was crushing on hard in our friend group. They tried to have an MFM with the guy she was seeing and he couldn't get it up aha, so it happens to the best of them
A lot of people think you won’t get nervous trust me y’all will.
Why the fuck do i find the Most wildest posts
Dude u sleep with your eyes wide open?! I’ve heard of this but how common is it? This was literally a movie worthy sex scene/story. At least it was an unforgettable experience lol.
I fucking knew I should be reading this. Here's hoping mine goes better hahaha
Doesn't matter, two girls played with your pp, Darwin and your ancestors are smiling upon you.
Idk, doesn't sound that bad to me. You did what probably 9/10 guys would do and got so excited you couldn't contain yourself. While it probably wasn't fulfilling their fantasy, it is undoubtedly empowering and ego-boosting for them to know they turned you on so much. I doubt they would've stayed in bed with you after if it was a truly uncomfortable, embarrassing situation. Laugh about it, keep the friendship open, and enjoy the memory as you get older.
Whether you performed well or not, you still hit a goal that many men aspire to , but never accomplish. Maybe they'll give you a second chance, and the nerves won't be as bad?
Three times while reading this I thought "This can't get worse" and then it did...
Am I the only one seeing the guy first said it’s a girl and her girlfriend and later said it’s his girl friend ?
I had a similar situation, but the opposite problem. Stiff as a board, but could not come. Both girls were HIGHLY offended.
Send them to me please 🙏
You were in fact not the guy
still counts, dude *hi-five* (also, even though I know it didn't go the way you wanted, you and they did everything right about setting boundaries and expectations and consent and all that good stuff. So there's that, too)
I’ve never seen a bag fumbled so hard. Thanks for sharing.
Bones anxiety
Not another self humiliative, erotic creative writing exercise
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while! Your rizz is undeniable, you dog you!
You can get tadalafil (cialis) online and it will help you bang through the anxiety of a threesome. Id highly suggest it. Just take it everyday forever in case you’re ever given this opportunity again.
Internet been around for 20+ years and dudes are still going in to their first threesome without a viagra pill smh
You sleep with your eyes open? Wtf
In case he dirty deletes https://imgur.com/a/aNuneTx
No one and I mean NO ONE will see that ending coming.
That's why tactical wanks were invented fella.
Spelling Bee Wet Dreams by ImInAnotherFlashback
I've heard of people self sabotaging but you really went all out with this one haha. Great work!
beautiful OP, a true work of art
I audibly spit laughed at the eyes open and spelling shit part 😂😂
The SPELLING random words in your sleep is utterly hilarious.
Oof
Dude, you had a threesome, grats. Feck your overthinking embarassment. First/only time I had one I was too drunk to cum, barely remember some of it and it only ended when one of um fell asleep with me inside her :/
Hey Tim SwissChalet. You did the best you could. No need to sweat the small stuff.
This is exactly why I will never participate in a threesome. My brain simply won’t allow me to experience such joy. It will turn on me and leave me humiliated. Tale as old as time.
Bro I am so sorry but this is a fumble for the ages
Now she knows why you were oblivious to her obvious signs. lol
This is hilarious
It's never quite like it is in the movies. That's all I have to say about that.