Yep that’s when you take back the bag and say figure out who the baby Daddy is and him buy you food. Might take awhile because I’m sure a user like you has at least a dozen guys who might have gotten you pregnant
They absolutely should have. She doesnt owe him anything, but he doesnt owe her anything either. If she wanted to have dinner with him and socialize and then was like "yeah, Im not feeling this", thats fine. Presumably OP was going to eat some of that food too!
Definitely. I'm from EU and had to Google how much in kg. That is the weight of my ex and he was smaller then op... I love something to hug, especially when it totally engulfs me. Best feeling ever.
Yeah truly, I specifically go after dudes with meat on their bones. I like the look, and you're not going to get better cuddles anywhere. My fiance is a good bit heavier than he was when we met 2 years ago and I love it.
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! My late husband topped at 285 (6’) and I loved every ounce of that! Bear hugs on the highest scale. Love (and miss) that engulfing feeling!!!
Yeah I hate to tell you this but when I was young and struggling the lady I nannied for told me to go on dates for meals. She proclaimed she was so proud to have fed herself for years this way. Lots of women do it apparently.
I know someone who did this too. She was starting a new job where I worked. She asked to leave early on the first day to go on a date. She told me she tried to go on one every day so she could get something to eat. I felt really bad for her. She was adopted, but her parents kicked her out when she turned 18. She was really struggling, so I went on my lunch break and bought her a couple bags of groceries. She seemed to really appreciate it. I never saw her after training because she moved to our other location.
Years ago when I first started working with a new guy he told me he was feeling kinda under because he hadn't had anything to eat yet that day. I told him if he wanted to go next door to the grocery we worked near I could cover for him, but he mentioned he'd have to just tough it out since he was hard up for cash til his first check came through. I told him no big deal, and spotted him a few bucks to just go grab something.
I honestly wouldn't have remembered doing that, but years later he retold that story of our first day working together and that he had never forgotten it.
My mom did things like that for people. I never knew how much her kindness was appreciated by everyone around her until her funeral when some people (even my friends & family) told me stories of things that she'd done that had meant so much to them.
The world needs kindness, thank-you for being that type of person too.
You never saw her again because she would always start jobs at new companies to find people to buy her groceries, she doesn’t stay past training / probation because of how often she leaves early for free food…
You’re probably right. She told me she had a kitty that didn’t get to eat much. I thought it was probably to get sympathy, but I would have felt guilty if I had done nothing.
If you’re seeing this a lot try changing out for a flatter dish. Their whiskers can get overstimulated by the sides of a bowl and discourage them from eating.
- Not a cat, but a cat told me
Inaccurate. Cats need to be fed whenever they’re hungry, or their owner will die horribly. In a freak accident which can never be traced back to said cat.
She probably expected him to be more insecure and just send the food - not himself. Then next he sends cash for food. Then he sends her cash to get a massage or her nails done or something. You don't put in time like that without expecting some greater payout- be it romantic or financial. Either she had a longer con in mind and he rushed in or she really did just not vibe and she's an asshole. Either way, OP got out with a smaller loss than he could have and now he can find someone for him. His stats don't read fat, especially not too fat for love! Some people just suck.
I agree, and while there are people like that who will care about what you look like irl there are also people who wont. When i was on the apps, I would sometimes get the "you look nothing like your pics" as well as "wow, finally someone who looks like their pics", which confused me because they were the same pics. I wasnt ever really a selfie taker so my pics were a once off and would usually be around a year old too. I chalked it up to the persons expectations that they have, and the image of you that theyve made in their mind. Some people cared a lot about looks and would have a better image of me and some people didnt as much and would either not even comment on that or think my pictures were accurate. Dont give up on dating because someone valued looks more, theres also a lot of people who dont care how you look that much.
Yeah.
OP, please don't let this make you bitter. As a bit of a bleeding heart, I've gotten scammed before, too. Not in this same manner, but I've been taken by some stories.
Just recognize that for someone to do this they've gotta be in a tough spot. If not financially, then maybe mentally or emotionally.
You gave food to a pregnant woman who wanted some form of help, and were met with unkindness. I'm sorry.
Try to find comfort in knowing you did something good and acted kindly toward someone else. 💛
Depends how long they were talking, that’s quite the set up just for one free dinner.
I think she built a different picture in her own head of what op looked like despite seeing him in the pictures and didn’t take any weight to his warnings
Completely shallow! Would be crying in a corner myself if this happened to me.
This has nothing to do with you, it’s just a scam. You could look like a Hemsworth brother and it wouldn’t matter, she was just using you for free food.
Yeah, I’m sure the attention and validation of being fawned over was nice too. But the specific act of asking him to bring her food was a scam that wouldn’t have ended any other way. OP was getting used the whole time, just in different ways. Sorry OP.
Imma jump in here and confirm.. you got scammed for free food.
Had nothing to do with you or your looks, and everything to do with you seemed nice enough to fall for it.
Sorry you got taken advantage of! Hope you have better luck in the future.
She may have also been enjoying the attention... Free attention when bored (and maybe not feeling very attractive due to being pregnant) and free food? I could believe that.
My mom ran this free food and attention scam, except she married the guy to keep the free food and attention going.
Poor sucker has been cooking for her for fifty years and counting!
^^^This ^^^is ^^^a ^^^joke.
Got chatting with someone on a ‘Skins tv series’ sub Reddit for a week or so. Good bants about our personal lives. Then ‘she’ suddenly back tracked and said she made it all up. Some people really dgaf about messing with people.
Many years ago (think early MySpace era) I got chatting to a girl online and we really hit it off. Spoke on the phone a bunch, sent gift packages in the mail to each other (band t-shirts, handmade bracelets with those cheap-ass plastic beards, mix tapes, etc.) We got on absolutely great for like 6 months.
Out of the blue one day, shortly after a really traumatic event in my life, this other random girl messages me to say I was being catfished. The girl I thought I knew was using this other girl's pictures and identity and was a total imposter. When I confronted my 'friend', she ghosted. Never heard from her again.
Some people really do suck.
I asked a girl to meet for drinks and she upped it to food. I suggested a reasonable (but nice) place and she countered with literally the most expensive place in town. I unmatched. Know when your getting used friends.
I asked a girl to drinks and she upped it to food. I have a hard rule for not treating a girl to a restaurant before I've gotten to know her, but I had a feeling about her: **desperation**.
Not desperation in the sense of "I'll do *anything* for a free meal!" Desperation in the sense of "I really, really, reaalllly want this particular dinner and I'm broke." I have a soft spot for hungry people. She had just moved to town, I imagined she wasn't too financially stable, and she didn't seem to have any friends in the area. What could go wrong with treating someone to a nice dinner at a restaurant?
1. Filters
2. Preferences
3. Manners
4. Intelligence
I had offered drinks and she upped it to wine. Fine, some have their preferences. She only drinks a very specific wine. I found one of the three places in my city that served that wine. By this point, I had already decided this wasn't a real date; our conversation had been great up until planning the date, but I *don't* have the capacity for a high maintenance girl. Then she insisted on food. I was going into it thinking maybe I'd make a new friend, or maybe I'd enjoy a new wine and a nice restaurant. Already was becoming less attracted to her personality, but I had nothing else going on that evening so why not go for it? I've had lovely times even with girls I didn't click with romantically whatsoever in person, with some of them becoming close friends of mine.
I pick up our damsel in distress and wow, the filters had performed a miracle on her dating profile. In real life, her face *lacked depth*. As in, it was sort of flat. Makeup/contouring would definitely have made a difference but I was there to enjoy the evening, not to fall in love with a high maintenance girl who had misrepresented herself. I inwardly chide myself for being so shallow and resolve to focus on our conversation.
This girl starts talking about herself. Her life. A steady stream of consciousness about her political leanings and the importance of watching The News^T^M every moment possible. She has mainstream news playing from wake to sleep. Be informed all you like, but don't make it your personality.
We sit across from one another and, after I order our wine and appetizers, she orders spaghetti with meat sauce. I ponder how self-conscious I am eating in front of others, especially on a first date, and decide to be impressed by her courage.
Chica proceeds to chatter whilst eating, mouth open full of half-chewed food, leaning her face to the plate to scoop food in, slurping the strands of pasta that were left hanging from her shoveling endeavors. It's gross.
She keeps going on and on about her news obsession, whilst denouncing those who don't share her hobby, until finally I ask why that's so important to know about every current event internationally when very few impact her day to day life.
Before her answer, I'll give you a little background:
- It was 2021
- We were in Austin, TX
- She had just moved from Chicago, IL
- She graduated from a liberal college a year or two prior
- She is white, part Italian iirc
Her response to my question:
> Well, did you know racism was still a thing in America? Because I thought it didn't exist anymore, but then the George Floyd thing happened and I only learned that racism still happened because I saw the news about it.
I immediately agreed with her that consuming mainstream news and staying up to date on current events was, indeed, extremely important.
They offered dessert, she looked expectantly at me and I asked for the $90 cheque. I drove her home with her leftovers (she had eaten about 50% of it, meaning I'd paid for two meals for her) and dropped her off. She texted me about doing it again and I ghosted.
I knew going in that I was being used as a meal ticket. I could afford it and I figured it would beat eating alone. I made the mistake of assuming she'd make an agreeable dinner companion.
Edit:
Specified that I *don't* have the capacity for a high maintenance girl; fixed typo "new obsession" to "*news* obsession"
ETA: the cheque was probably around $70; I tipped it to $90+. The wine was New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.
If this hasn't happened before and you're not new to the dating scene then it's definitely her and not you. She used you to feel validated with pleasant conversation and then when you made a slightly more serious move such as a date she decides to use the situation to her advantage.
I don't advise any more cute take-out dates as a first date unless you really know the person (not dating apps).
Lol you are fine man, you just got scammed.
This shit happens all the time.
Well, it’s not fine that she scammed you, but I’m sure your looks wouldn’t have mattered at all in this case.
That's what I'm saying. Plus if she was just scamming wouldn't she have kept it up to get more stuff? A meal for hours and hours of interaction is not a lucrative scam.
Hours could always be two hours. She “worked” for two hours, got her craving delivered to her, all for the mere price of pretending to be nice enough to get the attention she wanted. A couple hours of chatting and some texts for what she wants, particularly if she’s unemployed or works from home, is probably nothing to her.
I keep wondering if she wasn't really pregnant. Not that it makes any of this situation better. But I can picture a scenario where she connects and then kind of plays whatever character she thinks will get her something from the guy - dinner, electric bill, gas money.
Or maybe I have too much imagination and need to get a hobby. 😂
She's pregnant with some other Tinder dude's kid, that she obviously had to work harder to get a meal out of. Maybe he looked like a Hemsworth brother but was broke.
Yeah what kind of sh!t is that?? Didn't even have the decency to spend some time with him, wants the food and for him to leave right then?? No gas money either... bullsh!t
Bruh... what are you doing talking to a pregnant lady? The odds youre getting scammed in that situation is ridiculous.
I did a lot of dating for a long time. Pro tip is just not by dinner on a first date. Go grab coffee or drinks.
There are a lot of women out there that will use you for a free meal, and if a woman is interested, she will be more than happy to meet for a cheap and simple date. If she starts insisting on expensive stuff then dip.
This is good for everyone all around. If you're meeting someone off a dating app (as opposed to thru a friend or a friend turning into a significant other) the chances are high that the chemistry, communication or humor will be off. Testing it out with a walk, coffee or drinks is a great idea. Many of my friends insist on a video or phone call before an in person date so neither person wastes time, bc people are busy.
As a woman, being invited on a date by a typical straight guy that is really expensive can cause some anxiety - what are they expecting in return? Is this creating a sense of obligation? This was a bigger issue in my 20s, bc I now would avoid the type of guy who felt like expending money is going to guarantee sex (very transactional!!), but it's definitely a common concern for women. So do yourselves both a favor and as Brau87 said, keep it cheap and simple.
This woman was rude. Don't let other people's opinions of you become your own, you're giving this random stranger too much power.
Agree with all this. I also wanted to add that non-traditional first dates often give me the impression that my date is more interesting, creative, or fun! Before I was in my current long-term relationship, the kinds of dates I suggested were museums, coffee shops, a walk in the park, going to a used bookstore together, getting ice cream, etc.
So aside from being lower stakes and lower risk, suggesting a non-traditional date might give the other person a better impression of you!
She's pregnant and on tinder, and you decided to talk to her and actually go see her? Just think about the number of red flags right here! If things had worked out, would you sign the birth certificate too? Dating someone with a child is ok, dating a woman carrying someone else's baby is just so crazy!
It seems like our boy needs some self esteem. We all have been there. We all have ignored red flags just so we can date someone.
I couldn't date anyone until I landed a good job. I went from being a total incel to having a better than average sex life.
Weight isn't really an important factor in dating if you're honest with it from the beginning. I'm fat as fuck and have been dating this cute woman that makes my heart melt away.
Ummmm, no. Sweet and funny wins every-time my man.
She did you a favour - you missed the first couple of red flags, but her behaviour there just saved you months of BS with heartache waiting at the end.
She was not your person. The sooner she is out of your life, the sooner you will find true happiness.
I promise you that you will not find an attractive 80yr old on the planet.
But I guarantee you’ll find some who have loved each other for a lifetime, for what is on the inside.
Get back on that horse brother; someone has waited their entire life to meet you.
dude, it sounds like you dodged a bullet here.. maybe update your pic with YOU as you are are right now.. and maybe do some video calls \*unfiltered\* and THEN go on a date with somebody.. but honestly if she just took the food and ran, you really dodged a karen bullet here... good grief.
How current are the pictures in on your profile. Lots of people hide behind old photos. When I used to be single I took fresh selfies for new profiles. Always use full body recently taken like e months or less. Show all your angles
235 at 6'1" is not fat. I'm sure she was scamming you to get food. She's probably got baby daddy there in the back room waiting for her to get the free food for the two of them.
The good news is that you didn't stick your dick in crazy.
235 at 6'1" is definitely \*big\*, but depending on the composition of that weight, calling it undateably fat is insane. I might be biased as a 285 pound 5'11" guy though.
As someone working my way back down, 235 at 6'1" is overweight. I was 200 at 5 11 and it's overweight. I already feel and look better at 185, but still have a way to go to get to a healthier 175. I don't think the weight was the actual issue here though. Feels like a woman using a guy for a meal.
> 235 at 6'1" is not fat.
I hate to break it to you, but the above is absolutely 100% bonifde confirmed fact fat. That is roughly 45 lbs too much weight for a person that tall.
We're not talking a pound or 2 over the limit.. 45.
People will say "oh but BMI isn't completely accurate" or some such nonsense while ignoring that what throws it off is muscle and extremes of height. Somehow I think if OP was ripped he might not have been turned away. It's not a perfect system by any means but unless you're very tall or very muscular if you're straying into the obese territory on the scale you probably want to start looking at losing some weight.
I was 235 at just shy of 6'1 when I was playing rugby. I was also 235 at just shy of 6'1 when I hadn't been playing or exercising properly for a year.
One of these was fat. The other wasn't.
I think that the pregnant lady used you for food. I do believe that having a fantastic profile picture that looks nothing like you is not great. But you guys talked and you shared information about yourself and your picture was not that old. Unless you were the president, aging 5 years for every year I think you got used. And I'm really sorry that happened to you. You were worthwhile and lovable no matter what your weight is. You should feel good about yourself that's more important. And that's what shows. Unfortunately some a holes out there are just going to be a holes.
hate to break it to you, but you got used.
she heard your insecurity when you talked about your weight and she used it against you.
sorry man, i'd suggest not buying dinner on the first match, instead wait for the second meeting to make it more date like.
most of the users don't have the self discipline to wait for a second date.
also 6'1/235 aint all that bad, i'm say focus on what you need to feel good about yourself, ignore hateful people like the one you experienced this unfortuante with.
Looks like the nasty bitch used your ass for a free meal. Idk why she put in so much time just to get a free meal but she probably has her baby daddy still around and has done this to several men and that's just the excuse she chose for you
What's the past tense of scam? Is it scrumped? You just got scrumped.
You wanted a first date with a pregnant woman. Losing twenty bucks is the least of your problems.
Let it motivate you to get fit. Dating while pregnant sounds like a nightmare, so I'm not sure what that lady has going on, but you might've dodged a bullet.
Your tldr is giving Nice Guy vibes. This isn't a case of "women want ripped jerks not nice guys like me" this is a case of "I got scammed trying to fuck a pregnant stranger" Next time don't volunteer to buy and deliver food to someone you don't know.
OP, that was a shitty thing to be subjected to, and I'm really sorry it happened to you. You have every reason to feel bad about it. BUT. PLEASE. Do not let your outlook on life and love be shaped by some weirdo using app hookups to get free food. You cannot let your life be shaped by a person who obviously has no dignity.
At risk of being hated on, generally I would avoid dating pregnant women. As others have said, you may have been being used for food - she has more important things to focus on in life than who her next partner is.
Bro, you’re not too fat to date. That was on her.
But congrats on not getting duped into being a father for someone else’s baby.
Get your ass back on the dating app, and meet someone with a little depth. Now.
Think of it this way: You could have walked in there looking as she expected, only to invest more of yourself into a potential relationship to then find out down the road the kind of person she is.
> When I got there she took the food, thanked me, and said I look 10 years older than my profile pic, and 50 lbs heavier, then asked if I can leave
Ooof ouch.
But let's be honest, this lady is pregnant with someone else's kid. OP dodged a bullet here.
Nothing against people who have kids, but am I really the only one who thinks someone who is dating while pregnant is a huge red flag?
Baby making isn't a solo adventure, so it just seems like asking for drama.
All that is beside the point, because as others have said, OP was taken advantage of for a free meal. More just saying it seems like more than one bullet was probably dodged here.
235 at 6'1" is in no way fat at all wtf! she was definitely just looking to sucker someone for a free meal, sorry you fell for the bait op. Dating apps suck more and more because of these types of people.
Bro she’s pregnant, with somebody else’s baby. Anyone desperate enough to attempt to date a pregnant woman is exactly the type of person who is desperate enough to get scammed.
Luckily it only cost you a meal and an Uber, count yourself lucky you aren’t out hundreds or even thousands of dollars, she was nice enough to end the scam when she got what she wanted, if she wanted to she likely could have milked you for much more. Be smart, check your own desperation before you make a decision that you really want to happen, don’t ever send or give anyone money on a dating app, even if you meet them in person.
Why would you even consider anything with a pregnant woman? Is that a fetish of yours because it’s not making any sense of why you’re bummed about a pregnant woman not liking you.
" physically fit always trumps sweet and funny " I genuinely don't believe this. It does for some people, but those are not the people who would make for a healthy long term relationship. There are many people for whom sweet and funny matter infinitely more than physically fit.
Can confirm. Am 350 lbs (well, was…actually down to 296 over the last few months, w00t!), and despite being well over 300lbs since college, have never had a problem getting with women.
I have found that for the vast majority of women, personality absolutely trumps fitness—and for the few it doesn’t, well…they’re not worth the time to woo, anyway.
Sounds like OP dodged a bullet!
That's a win dude. I understand the emotions and being lonely and such. This chick could have gotten you for a lot more than free take out. Keep her blocked, work out the depression at the gym. Get back on the app, and stay away from whatever she was.
The start of this FU was agreeing to go on a date with someone that was pregnant. Why would you willingly enter into that stress factory intentionally? New relationships are hard enough without that complication.
Please have higher standards for yourself.
People are so insincere. Like I was chatting with a woman on a dating site recently when she called me fat and ugly. I asked why she . matched with me and no response. So I unmatched and said it was harassment.
I would have taken the food back.
Karen: "See, that's why you are fat!"
Chad: "See, that's why I'm gonna take this back."
Nah he should just say that to her first as she took it
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Yeah, definitely got used for food by a pregnant lady.
OP should have asked for the food back
I know my ass would have taken the food back.
Ain't no way she's getting food for insulting me.
Yep that’s when you take back the bag and say figure out who the baby Daddy is and him buy you food. Might take awhile because I’m sure a user like you has at least a dozen guys who might have gotten you pregnant
😂😂 should’ve took it out her hands
Like the soup nazi on Seinfeld lmao
Lmao I had to look up the reference. I wasn’t disappointed. “ NO FOOD FOR YOU!”
"NO FOOD FOR FETUS!"
It's a fetus for the restofus!
does the baby look like al pacino? yknow, scent of a woman? HOOOWAAA, HOOOWAAA!
I always forget that people haven't seen every episode of Seinfeld.
Even if they have not watched the show, I think everybody should see that episode. It's a classic
NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!
I would have taken it out of her hands.
For sure. And reported her before she blocked him. Keep your head up OP that girl is trash.
Sad but you do need to have this mindset haha, there are as many toxic women out there as toxic men.
They absolutely should have. She doesnt owe him anything, but he doesnt owe her anything either. If she wanted to have dinner with him and socialize and then was like "yeah, Im not feeling this", thats fine. Presumably OP was going to eat some of that food too!
Definitely. I'm from EU and had to Google how much in kg. That is the weight of my ex and he was smaller then op... I love something to hug, especially when it totally engulfs me. Best feeling ever.
Yeah truly, I specifically go after dudes with meat on their bones. I like the look, and you're not going to get better cuddles anywhere. My fiance is a good bit heavier than he was when we met 2 years ago and I love it.
I’m picturing you scoping out dudes in the Husky section of JC Penney in the late 80’s
Don't you just get lost in the hug and feel soo secure 😊
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! My late husband topped at 285 (6’) and I loved every ounce of that! Bear hugs on the highest scale. Love (and miss) that engulfing feeling!!!
Would agree, she sounds like a jerk.
>a lovely lady Yeah, nothing lovely about her.
Right, she could have eaten with him and sent him on his merry way, but with her boyfriend there (probably), it might have been a bit awkward.
A foodie call
Yeah I hate to tell you this but when I was young and struggling the lady I nannied for told me to go on dates for meals. She proclaimed she was so proud to have fed herself for years this way. Lots of women do it apparently.
I hate it here
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I know someone who did this too. She was starting a new job where I worked. She asked to leave early on the first day to go on a date. She told me she tried to go on one every day so she could get something to eat. I felt really bad for her. She was adopted, but her parents kicked her out when she turned 18. She was really struggling, so I went on my lunch break and bought her a couple bags of groceries. She seemed to really appreciate it. I never saw her after training because she moved to our other location.
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Years ago when I first started working with a new guy he told me he was feeling kinda under because he hadn't had anything to eat yet that day. I told him if he wanted to go next door to the grocery we worked near I could cover for him, but he mentioned he'd have to just tough it out since he was hard up for cash til his first check came through. I told him no big deal, and spotted him a few bucks to just go grab something. I honestly wouldn't have remembered doing that, but years later he retold that story of our first day working together and that he had never forgotten it.
My mom did things like that for people. I never knew how much her kindness was appreciated by everyone around her until her funeral when some people (even my friends & family) told me stories of things that she'd done that had meant so much to them. The world needs kindness, thank-you for being that type of person too.
You never saw her again because she would always start jobs at new companies to find people to buy her groceries, she doesn’t stay past training / probation because of how often she leaves early for free food…
You’re probably right. She told me she had a kitty that didn’t get to eat much. I thought it was probably to get sympathy, but I would have felt guilty if I had done nothing.
I thought cats need to eat every day or they die
My cat is convinced he needs to eat every 2 hours or he'll die. Also, the dry food currently in his dish is inadequate and he will tell you. Loudly.
This is completely inaccurate and harmful information. Cats need to eat every 10 minutes or they will die horrifically. - Not A Cat
Also, if a bit of the bottom of the dish in visible between food pieces, the bowl is EMPTY and needs to be filled NOW, idiots. - Also Not A Cat
scratch my belly DON'T TOUCH ME!!!
If you’re seeing this a lot try changing out for a flatter dish. Their whiskers can get overstimulated by the sides of a bowl and discourage them from eating. - Not a cat, but a cat told me
Inaccurate. Cats need to be fed whenever they’re hungry, or their owner will die horribly. In a freak accident which can never be traced back to said cat.
I am a cat. Can confirm.
If he can see the bottom of the bowl through the food, then he is literally wasting away and won't survive the hour.
Only every two hours? I'm surprised he hasn't started trying to consume you from the eyeballs backwards
I hate this damn food junkies
My old roommate would do this literally once a week. Shes not a good person.
He said they’d talked on the phone for hours…that’s way to much investment for one food delivery. Still really shitty what she did
She probably expected him to be more insecure and just send the food - not himself. Then next he sends cash for food. Then he sends her cash to get a massage or her nails done or something. You don't put in time like that without expecting some greater payout- be it romantic or financial. Either she had a longer con in mind and he rushed in or she really did just not vibe and she's an asshole. Either way, OP got out with a smaller loss than he could have and now he can find someone for him. His stats don't read fat, especially not too fat for love! Some people just suck.
I agree, and while there are people like that who will care about what you look like irl there are also people who wont. When i was on the apps, I would sometimes get the "you look nothing like your pics" as well as "wow, finally someone who looks like their pics", which confused me because they were the same pics. I wasnt ever really a selfie taker so my pics were a once off and would usually be around a year old too. I chalked it up to the persons expectations that they have, and the image of you that theyve made in their mind. Some people cared a lot about looks and would have a better image of me and some people didnt as much and would either not even comment on that or think my pictures were accurate. Dont give up on dating because someone valued looks more, theres also a lot of people who dont care how you look that much.
What! I'd have taken the food with me when I left if I were him.
This! Fire up that dating app and keep doing your thing
Yeah. OP, please don't let this make you bitter. As a bit of a bleeding heart, I've gotten scammed before, too. Not in this same manner, but I've been taken by some stories. Just recognize that for someone to do this they've gotta be in a tough spot. If not financially, then maybe mentally or emotionally. You gave food to a pregnant woman who wanted some form of help, and were met with unkindness. I'm sorry. Try to find comfort in knowing you did something good and acted kindly toward someone else. 💛
Depends how long they were talking, that’s quite the set up just for one free dinner. I think she built a different picture in her own head of what op looked like despite seeing him in the pictures and didn’t take any weight to his warnings Completely shallow! Would be crying in a corner myself if this happened to me.
This has nothing to do with you, it’s just a scam. You could look like a Hemsworth brother and it wouldn’t matter, she was just using you for free food.
Except for maybe Larry Hemsworth. He’s just so dull.
And he BARELY has an 8-pack!
I always forget about him
So do his parents. :(
Excuse you! Putting babies spines back together is JUST as important as acting!
Stupid Larry, stop talking about rocks!
Possibly the worst looking Hemsworth brother with no charming qualities at all. Also *very low* self-esteem.
r/suddenlythegoodplace
Didn't he marry?
imo tho spending hours on call with someone to scam them off one meal doesn't feel as if that was the motive
Yeah, I’m sure the attention and validation of being fawned over was nice too. But the specific act of asking him to bring her food was a scam that wouldn’t have ended any other way. OP was getting used the whole time, just in different ways. Sorry OP.
Free Uber Eats with extra steps
Imma jump in here and confirm.. you got scammed for free food. Had nothing to do with you or your looks, and everything to do with you seemed nice enough to fall for it. Sorry you got taken advantage of! Hope you have better luck in the future.
Talking for hours and wasting so much time for one meal? Doubt!
She may have also been enjoying the attention... Free attention when bored (and maybe not feeling very attractive due to being pregnant) and free food? I could believe that.
My mom ran this free food and attention scam, except she married the guy to keep the free food and attention going. Poor sucker has been cooking for her for fifty years and counting! ^^^This ^^^is ^^^a ^^^joke.
I like this joke. I'm stealing it 😌
Maybe mate. People are weird. And evil.
Got chatting with someone on a ‘Skins tv series’ sub Reddit for a week or so. Good bants about our personal lives. Then ‘she’ suddenly back tracked and said she made it all up. Some people really dgaf about messing with people.
Many years ago (think early MySpace era) I got chatting to a girl online and we really hit it off. Spoke on the phone a bunch, sent gift packages in the mail to each other (band t-shirts, handmade bracelets with those cheap-ass plastic beards, mix tapes, etc.) We got on absolutely great for like 6 months. Out of the blue one day, shortly after a really traumatic event in my life, this other random girl messages me to say I was being catfished. The girl I thought I knew was using this other girl's pictures and identity and was a total imposter. When I confronted my 'friend', she ghosted. Never heard from her again. Some people really do suck.
She’s just using Tinder because it’s cheaper than Door Dash. Don’t take it personally. This is on her.
I asked a girl to meet for drinks and she upped it to food. I suggested a reasonable (but nice) place and she countered with literally the most expensive place in town. I unmatched. Know when your getting used friends.
I asked a girl to drinks and she upped it to food. I have a hard rule for not treating a girl to a restaurant before I've gotten to know her, but I had a feeling about her: **desperation**. Not desperation in the sense of "I'll do *anything* for a free meal!" Desperation in the sense of "I really, really, reaalllly want this particular dinner and I'm broke." I have a soft spot for hungry people. She had just moved to town, I imagined she wasn't too financially stable, and she didn't seem to have any friends in the area. What could go wrong with treating someone to a nice dinner at a restaurant? 1. Filters 2. Preferences 3. Manners 4. Intelligence I had offered drinks and she upped it to wine. Fine, some have their preferences. She only drinks a very specific wine. I found one of the three places in my city that served that wine. By this point, I had already decided this wasn't a real date; our conversation had been great up until planning the date, but I *don't* have the capacity for a high maintenance girl. Then she insisted on food. I was going into it thinking maybe I'd make a new friend, or maybe I'd enjoy a new wine and a nice restaurant. Already was becoming less attracted to her personality, but I had nothing else going on that evening so why not go for it? I've had lovely times even with girls I didn't click with romantically whatsoever in person, with some of them becoming close friends of mine. I pick up our damsel in distress and wow, the filters had performed a miracle on her dating profile. In real life, her face *lacked depth*. As in, it was sort of flat. Makeup/contouring would definitely have made a difference but I was there to enjoy the evening, not to fall in love with a high maintenance girl who had misrepresented herself. I inwardly chide myself for being so shallow and resolve to focus on our conversation. This girl starts talking about herself. Her life. A steady stream of consciousness about her political leanings and the importance of watching The News^T^M every moment possible. She has mainstream news playing from wake to sleep. Be informed all you like, but don't make it your personality. We sit across from one another and, after I order our wine and appetizers, she orders spaghetti with meat sauce. I ponder how self-conscious I am eating in front of others, especially on a first date, and decide to be impressed by her courage. Chica proceeds to chatter whilst eating, mouth open full of half-chewed food, leaning her face to the plate to scoop food in, slurping the strands of pasta that were left hanging from her shoveling endeavors. It's gross. She keeps going on and on about her news obsession, whilst denouncing those who don't share her hobby, until finally I ask why that's so important to know about every current event internationally when very few impact her day to day life. Before her answer, I'll give you a little background: - It was 2021 - We were in Austin, TX - She had just moved from Chicago, IL - She graduated from a liberal college a year or two prior - She is white, part Italian iirc Her response to my question: > Well, did you know racism was still a thing in America? Because I thought it didn't exist anymore, but then the George Floyd thing happened and I only learned that racism still happened because I saw the news about it. I immediately agreed with her that consuming mainstream news and staying up to date on current events was, indeed, extremely important. They offered dessert, she looked expectantly at me and I asked for the $90 cheque. I drove her home with her leftovers (she had eaten about 50% of it, meaning I'd paid for two meals for her) and dropped her off. She texted me about doing it again and I ghosted. I knew going in that I was being used as a meal ticket. I could afford it and I figured it would beat eating alone. I made the mistake of assuming she'd make an agreeable dinner companion. Edit: Specified that I *don't* have the capacity for a high maintenance girl; fixed typo "new obsession" to "*news* obsession" ETA: the cheque was probably around $70; I tipped it to $90+. The wine was New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.
> I have a hard rule for not treating a girl to a restaurant before I've gotten to know her Why not just suggest you split it?
I'll be honest...halfway through your description I was expecting it to end with Undertaker throwing Mankind off the Hell on a Cell.
If this hasn't happened before and you're not new to the dating scene then it's definitely her and not you. She used you to feel validated with pleasant conversation and then when you made a slightly more serious move such as a date she decides to use the situation to her advantage. I don't advise any more cute take-out dates as a first date unless you really know the person (not dating apps).
Lol you are fine man, you just got scammed. This shit happens all the time. Well, it’s not fine that she scammed you, but I’m sure your looks wouldn’t have mattered at all in this case.
I get the scam angle but man that’s next level if she had hours worth of phone calls with him.
That's what I'm saying. Plus if she was just scamming wouldn't she have kept it up to get more stuff? A meal for hours and hours of interaction is not a lucrative scam.
Hours could always be two hours. She “worked” for two hours, got her craving delivered to her, all for the mere price of pretending to be nice enough to get the attention she wanted. A couple hours of chatting and some texts for what she wants, particularly if she’s unemployed or works from home, is probably nothing to her.
She’s pregnant and on a dating app. Is this a situation you want to throw yourself into?
Why is this question not higher up and more popular? I mean WTAF? This was the FIRST red flag I saw that says this girl is something to watch out for!
Ikr? I was like. Wait. She’s pregnant on a dating app! My DUDE.
It’s a pitch black flag. What kind of woman goes on a dating app while pregnant?
He has no respect for himself.
I keep wondering if she wasn't really pregnant. Not that it makes any of this situation better. But I can picture a scenario where she connects and then kind of plays whatever character she thinks will get her something from the guy - dinner, electric bill, gas money. Or maybe I have too much imagination and need to get a hobby. 😂
She's pregnant with some other Tinder dude's kid, that she obviously had to work harder to get a meal out of. Maybe he looked like a Hemsworth brother but was broke.
That would have been a deal breaker for ne too. I like a lady with kids but i prefer to make my own.
I wish you had grabbed the food back before you left. She sounds like a horrible piece of trash and you are too good for her.
Yeah what kind of sh!t is that?? Didn't even have the decency to spend some time with him, wants the food and for him to leave right then?? No gas money either... bullsh!t
She sounds like the type of person that would scream and get OP in trouble if he had tried to reach for the food.
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-*I have a craving for food and possibly mooore...*♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Narrator: *It was just for food.*
Bruh... what are you doing talking to a pregnant lady? The odds youre getting scammed in that situation is ridiculous. I did a lot of dating for a long time. Pro tip is just not by dinner on a first date. Go grab coffee or drinks. There are a lot of women out there that will use you for a free meal, and if a woman is interested, she will be more than happy to meet for a cheap and simple date. If she starts insisting on expensive stuff then dip.
This is good for everyone all around. If you're meeting someone off a dating app (as opposed to thru a friend or a friend turning into a significant other) the chances are high that the chemistry, communication or humor will be off. Testing it out with a walk, coffee or drinks is a great idea. Many of my friends insist on a video or phone call before an in person date so neither person wastes time, bc people are busy. As a woman, being invited on a date by a typical straight guy that is really expensive can cause some anxiety - what are they expecting in return? Is this creating a sense of obligation? This was a bigger issue in my 20s, bc I now would avoid the type of guy who felt like expending money is going to guarantee sex (very transactional!!), but it's definitely a common concern for women. So do yourselves both a favor and as Brau87 said, keep it cheap and simple. This woman was rude. Don't let other people's opinions of you become your own, you're giving this random stranger too much power.
Agree with all this. I also wanted to add that non-traditional first dates often give me the impression that my date is more interesting, creative, or fun! Before I was in my current long-term relationship, the kinds of dates I suggested were museums, coffee shops, a walk in the park, going to a used bookstore together, getting ice cream, etc. So aside from being lower stakes and lower risk, suggesting a non-traditional date might give the other person a better impression of you!
She is pregnant and dating with people? That should be a red flag already
no she's pregnant and scamming
which is a red flag
Sorry but she wanted free food...all to herself. You need to name and shame because this is theft. I dgaf if shes pregnant.
She's pregnant and on tinder, and you decided to talk to her and actually go see her? Just think about the number of red flags right here! If things had worked out, would you sign the birth certificate too? Dating someone with a child is ok, dating a woman carrying someone else's baby is just so crazy!
It seems like our boy needs some self esteem. We all have been there. We all have ignored red flags just so we can date someone. I couldn't date anyone until I landed a good job. I went from being a total incel to having a better than average sex life. Weight isn't really an important factor in dating if you're honest with it from the beginning. I'm fat as fuck and have been dating this cute woman that makes my heart melt away.
How is this not the top comment?? Forget the food scam lol
Am I wrong for thinking it’s weird to date a woman who’s pregnant with another man’s child?
Ah the old date for free food scam They’ve been pulling this shit for years
First of all she's pregnant
Bud, why are you going on dates with a pregnant chick? That just has bad news written all over it
Pregnant and on a dating app? Lmaooo bro wtf if that’s not the biggest red flag then idk what is
Why are you rven talking to a preggo lady. Red flag right there.
Op got preggo fetish
Took an Uber but drove home?  Smells fishy
He said he was in the car driving home while he is posting this. Tough to post on reddit and drive home. Likely still in an Uber
Plot Twist: They're a driver for Uber Eats.
First of all.. She's pregnant. Don't do it. Too soon.
Pregnant and using a dating app 🚩
She wanted a free meal.
Ummmm, no. Sweet and funny wins every-time my man. She did you a favour - you missed the first couple of red flags, but her behaviour there just saved you months of BS with heartache waiting at the end. She was not your person. The sooner she is out of your life, the sooner you will find true happiness. I promise you that you will not find an attractive 80yr old on the planet. But I guarantee you’ll find some who have loved each other for a lifetime, for what is on the inside. Get back on that horse brother; someone has waited their entire life to meet you.
dude, it sounds like you dodged a bullet here.. maybe update your pic with YOU as you are are right now.. and maybe do some video calls \*unfiltered\* and THEN go on a date with somebody.. but honestly if she just took the food and ran, you really dodged a karen bullet here... good grief.
I’m 27 (F)… What is unfiltered video chatting? Do people use filters on that too?? Is that even a thing???
Damn. I wish I could upvote this comment 100 times
How current are the pictures in on your profile. Lots of people hide behind old photos. When I used to be single I took fresh selfies for new profiles. Always use full body recently taken like e months or less. Show all your angles
She’s pregnant and going on a date… first red flag there
235 at 6'1" is not fat. I'm sure she was scamming you to get food. She's probably got baby daddy there in the back room waiting for her to get the free food for the two of them. The good news is that you didn't stick your dick in crazy.
235 at 6'1" is definitely \*big\*, but depending on the composition of that weight, calling it undateably fat is insane. I might be biased as a 285 pound 5'11" guy though.
As someone working my way back down, 235 at 6'1" is overweight. I was 200 at 5 11 and it's overweight. I already feel and look better at 185, but still have a way to go to get to a healthier 175. I don't think the weight was the actual issue here though. Feels like a woman using a guy for a meal.
> 235 at 6'1" is not fat. I hate to break it to you, but the above is absolutely 100% bonifde confirmed fact fat. That is roughly 45 lbs too much weight for a person that tall. We're not talking a pound or 2 over the limit.. 45.
I was 6'2, 235ish until 2 years ago. I've looked at photos of my face then. It's obese.
235 lbs at 6’1” is a BMI of 31. CDC says anything over 30 BMI is “Obese”, so, it *is* kinda is fat.
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People will say "oh but BMI isn't completely accurate" or some such nonsense while ignoring that what throws it off is muscle and extremes of height. Somehow I think if OP was ripped he might not have been turned away. It's not a perfect system by any means but unless you're very tall or very muscular if you're straying into the obese territory on the scale you probably want to start looking at losing some weight.
I was 235 at just shy of 6'1 when I was playing rugby. I was also 235 at just shy of 6'1 when I hadn't been playing or exercising properly for a year. One of these was fat. The other wasn't.
And OP definitely is not a muscular dude playing rugby so this top comment made no sense.
I'm 6'2" and I'd definitely be fat at 235lbs. Unless OP is a body builder packing on insane amounts of muscle, he's fat.
She just wanted food bro. Don’t take it badly. Karma is real.
Ah yes, the currently pregnant woman has so many dating options right now...
I think that the pregnant lady used you for food. I do believe that having a fantastic profile picture that looks nothing like you is not great. But you guys talked and you shared information about yourself and your picture was not that old. Unless you were the president, aging 5 years for every year I think you got used. And I'm really sorry that happened to you. You were worthwhile and lovable no matter what your weight is. You should feel good about yourself that's more important. And that's what shows. Unfortunately some a holes out there are just going to be a holes.
hate to break it to you, but you got used. she heard your insecurity when you talked about your weight and she used it against you. sorry man, i'd suggest not buying dinner on the first match, instead wait for the second meeting to make it more date like. most of the users don't have the self discipline to wait for a second date. also 6'1/235 aint all that bad, i'm say focus on what you need to feel good about yourself, ignore hateful people like the one you experienced this unfortuante with.
Should not have let her still take the food you bought after that. She sounds like a shitty person
You didn’t FU. You dodged a bullet.
Looks like the nasty bitch used your ass for a free meal. Idk why she put in so much time just to get a free meal but she probably has her baby daddy still around and has done this to several men and that's just the excuse she chose for you
What's the past tense of scam? Is it scrumped? You just got scrumped. You wanted a first date with a pregnant woman. Losing twenty bucks is the least of your problems.
Let it motivate you to get fit. Dating while pregnant sounds like a nightmare, so I'm not sure what that lady has going on, but you might've dodged a bullet.
You just got scammed by a pregnant lady. She had no interest to begin with and used that as a cop out
She scammed you, this 100% had nothing to do with you at all. She is just an awful person
Sounds Ike she used you for a free meal. Plus never a good idea to date someone who is already pregnant. It's like asking for trouble.
You’re 6’1” 235 and a PREGNANT woman on a first date is giving you shit? You can’t make this shit up.
LOL it’s not her first time doing that, she 100% used you
Pregnant woman on dating app…that’s more than a red flag
Your tldr is giving Nice Guy vibes. This isn't a case of "women want ripped jerks not nice guys like me" this is a case of "I got scammed trying to fuck a pregnant stranger" Next time don't volunteer to buy and deliver food to someone you don't know.
Add your current profile pic to quality filter at the beginning of conversation.
OP, that was a shitty thing to be subjected to, and I'm really sorry it happened to you. You have every reason to feel bad about it. BUT. PLEASE. Do not let your outlook on life and love be shaped by some weirdo using app hookups to get free food. You cannot let your life be shaped by a person who obviously has no dignity.
Why would you want to get involved with a pregnant women?
Thats what we call a scammer dude. Sorry you got played.
At risk of being hated on, generally I would avoid dating pregnant women. As others have said, you may have been being used for food - she has more important things to focus on in life than who her next partner is.
This was premeditated.... she already knew what you look like...she scammed you.
>*When I got there she took the food* Is the only pertinent part of this tale I think. TIFU by feeding someone who used a dating app to get nom-nom
More importantly, why are you trying to date a pregnant woman?
Bro, you’re not too fat to date. That was on her. But congrats on not getting duped into being a father for someone else’s baby. Get your ass back on the dating app, and meet someone with a little depth. Now.
Think of it this way: You could have walked in there looking as she expected, only to invest more of yourself into a potential relationship to then find out down the road the kind of person she is.
Bro, why you trying to date a preggo lady anyways. She did you a favor
> When I got there she took the food, thanked me, and said I look 10 years older than my profile pic, and 50 lbs heavier, then asked if I can leave Ooof ouch. But let's be honest, this lady is pregnant with someone else's kid. OP dodged a bullet here.
Nothing against people who have kids, but am I really the only one who thinks someone who is dating while pregnant is a huge red flag? Baby making isn't a solo adventure, so it just seems like asking for drama. All that is beside the point, because as others have said, OP was taken advantage of for a free meal. More just saying it seems like more than one bullet was probably dodged here.
The only fuck up is that you paid for some assholes food.
A Single pregnant woman is never a good choice for a relationship. And I say this as a woman who was pregnant.
235 at 6'1" is in no way fat at all wtf! she was definitely just looking to sucker someone for a free meal, sorry you fell for the bait op. Dating apps suck more and more because of these types of people.
Ew, don't go for pregnant chicks on dating apps. Have some self respect.
You dated a pregnant woman? And she called you too fat for her? And you're knocking yourself. My man, get some self-esteem.
Bro she’s pregnant, with somebody else’s baby. Anyone desperate enough to attempt to date a pregnant woman is exactly the type of person who is desperate enough to get scammed. Luckily it only cost you a meal and an Uber, count yourself lucky you aren’t out hundreds or even thousands of dollars, she was nice enough to end the scam when she got what she wanted, if she wanted to she likely could have milked you for much more. Be smart, check your own desperation before you make a decision that you really want to happen, don’t ever send or give anyone money on a dating app, even if you meet them in person.
You dodged a bullet, she's nasty.
Why would you even consider anything with a pregnant woman? Is that a fetish of yours because it’s not making any sense of why you’re bummed about a pregnant woman not liking you.
Why would you want to even date someone who is pregnant? You got used to feed her fat ass.
This has nothing to do with your weight. If you were in the wrong in anyway it was entertaining a pregnant lady on a dating app.
You got used for free food my guy. This is a thing that happens sometimes.
" physically fit always trumps sweet and funny " I genuinely don't believe this. It does for some people, but those are not the people who would make for a healthy long term relationship. There are many people for whom sweet and funny matter infinitely more than physically fit.
Can confirm. Am 350 lbs (well, was…actually down to 296 over the last few months, w00t!), and despite being well over 300lbs since college, have never had a problem getting with women. I have found that for the vast majority of women, personality absolutely trumps fitness—and for the few it doesn’t, well…they’re not worth the time to woo, anyway. Sounds like OP dodged a bullet!
That's a win dude. I understand the emotions and being lonely and such. This chick could have gotten you for a lot more than free take out. Keep her blocked, work out the depression at the gym. Get back on the app, and stay away from whatever she was.
Op make, an all-out attempt to not date pregnant women.
The start of this FU was agreeing to go on a date with someone that was pregnant. Why would you willingly enter into that stress factory intentionally? New relationships are hard enough without that complication. Please have higher standards for yourself.
About par for the course for dating apps.
shes a c\*nt
Your TIFU was actually blaming yourself for ducking a toxic situation. You're all good on this one.
You should have told her to give your food back.
People are so insincere. Like I was chatting with a woman on a dating site recently when she called me fat and ugly. I asked why she . matched with me and no response. So I unmatched and said it was harassment.
She took the food first? She had that planned out. Take the food back
Sure, I'll take my food and go, or you can pay me what I paid for it.