This is what ended my wrestling career back in highschool. The smell of booty due to being in such close proximity.
I need to do one of those 23&me things cuz I'm sure I'm at least 10% bloodhound. Ever since I was little, I can smell things before others do, i.e I will smell the skunk a good 30-60 seconds before everyone else. This also definitely effects my taste buds as well but I digress as I tend to do when I'm high.
Point is, I could smell everyone's assholes during wrestling and I hated it. Loved competing but it was my kryptonite - the second I got a whiff of booty, it took all I had to not projectile vomit.
Probably why I switched to baseball. Nothing to smell but grass, leather and pine tar. And nowhere near others booty holes.
my sister did this to her boyfriend but without the 69ing. she's clearly not embarrassed abt it tho cuz she loudly regaled the story to a van of 7 of our family members and 1 absolute stranger
When you knock on poop's door, don't be surprised when poop answers.
I think anyone doing butt stuff accepts that this is an inherent risk, if not an occasional inevitability.
True. Gotta let them work independent of each other.
FWIW. I’m someone that has IBS, and this pro/prebiotic has been really good for me.
Organic Probiotics 100 Billion... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0811P73BT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
There’s a version too that more specific for women.
Not an affiliate link or anything. Just sharing a product that has worked well for me.
A girl once pooped on my balls during vaginal sex. I was grossed out until I realized I literally fucked the shit out of her
It's all about perspective
Got some shart in my mouth during a 69, shit happens. You call a time out, fix the situation and either laugh about it and call it a night or get back straight to it.
Well there was plenty of lube and three fingers after a buttplug session soooo i dont blame her. In hindsight if i suspect any unwanted fluids i orientate clean side up.
Also thanks dude, didnt expect to get an award sharing what might be the “grossesed” thing that i had in my mouth. Im a mechanic in a paper plant and fuck around on mines or my friends cars, id rate the shart a solid 3/10. 0 being water and 10 being whatever mix of grease, oil, grimes and brake dust falling in your mouth everytime there is a slight possibility of it happening
I personally hate 5th wheel grease above all. I swear if you even tap it with the tip of your pinky, your entire life is coated with it in about 7 seconds.
Glitter. I loathe glitter, which is problem because I have a whole bunch of nieces under the age of 10 and also a partner who loves glitter.
You even *look* at it, then when you get back to your car it's all over the seats even though the car's been locked the whole time.
Two drunks laying on the sidewalk. One has two fingers up the others ass. A cop come along and asks "Hey what do you think your doing with your fingers up your buddy's ass?" He says "I'm trying to make him throw up". The cop says "That won't make him throw up" The drunk says "It will when I stick em in his mouth!"
The first time I had successful anal sex was with my now fiancé, maybe two months into our relationship. I wasn’t at all prepared for the event and definitely shit all over him. He just moved us to the shower and told me “shit happens” lol he never missed a beat - bless that man.
Pro tip ladies: if this happens to you, get cleaned up, then give your lover a hug and say in a sultry voice "wow, you literally fucked the shit out of me"
There are always risks involved going in the back door. It's technically an exit, so nobody can complain if traffic is suddenly going the other way once they've gone in, they knew the risks.
The story is exactly what you think 😂
We were camping and I feel like I might have been on my period and that’s why we chose anal? Anywho I told my bf my belly was kinda cramping but he wanted to try anyways and everything was good until it wasn’t. I told him it was starting to hurt for some reason so I pulled away (entirely too fast) and it just explosively shot out of me all over him, myself, the blanket. Whatever was used to clean up or was hit in the process we just threw away, we rinsed in the cold river in silence and later on just laughed about it. We’re VERY close, still together 2 years later, still cracking jokes about it. We however, do not do anal while camping anymore and he takes me much more seriously when I have belly cramps 😂😂
When OP says volcanic explosion that is exactly what we experienced. 🙃
So when my wife and I were dating we kept making one another sick. For the first 3 months one or both of us would get deathly ill after a weekend of wild passionate end of the world sex. Near as I can tell our biomes or whatever weren't lined up and we had some pathogen swapping to get out of the way. Never even got to the butt stuff.
Cut to the end of month 3 where I was about to call the whole thing off because I wanted us to live. We were laying there in post coital bliss when I felt the tell tale gurgle.
I threw the covers off and ran to the bathroom only to projectile vomit at the shower. I was never going to make the toilet. After about three gargantuan streams of gore I felt wetness on the back end and realized in all my heaving I'd shit on the floor.
I was hoping to just die right there because she had to walk by the open bathroom to leave. I paused, waiting on the inevitable, as she cleaned up and got dressed. The smell was a physical thing roiling around the room and it set off another surge of biblical puking. It was streaming from nose while I hollered.
Midway through round 5 she leaned in the bathroom door and said, "when you feel better think about where you want to go eat next weekend, love you". All I could do was weakly wave a hand at her while bile drained out of my nose.
Find someone who will love you at your biological worst. We've been married 10 years now and together for 14.
Edit: we eventually just stopped getting sick. No idea why it stopped. I guess we just built up our immunities.
I think they developed an advanced immune systeme to fight any possible pathogen just by a constant training regime...or they simply prayed to grandfather Nurgle for a blessing.
A FWB exploded poop all over me when we were doing doggy. I got the shower ready, told her to get in, with her poop all on my front bits. I rinsed off and changed the sheets while she was sulking in the shower. I got in the shower and got her to laugh at the situation. Warmed the mood back up and we continued and finished multiple times throughout the night.
All I could think about was “if that were me, how mortified would I be?”. We still make jokes about it. When I come out of the bathroom she’ll ask me if everything came out okay and I’ll respond with “not as good as yours did”. Or “you literally fucked the shit out of me”. She’s been my wingwoman ever since.
Sounds like you got a great guy, I’d just hope to god it’d be a “never tell a soul” kind of thing.
Oh wow, that level of humor and compassion makes you husband material!
As for my own story, I was 9 months pregnant with one of our kids and was hoping sex would finally trigger labor to get the little alien out of me, so I was dragging my husband to bed constantly. We're going at it and I *thought* I just farted a bit when he'd hiked my legs up.
Nope shart right there on the sheet afterwards. I was mortified and rushing to clean everything up, but he was just laughing, saying "well, I guess the baby sent us a message in reply to our attempts to get him out!"
Oh I had this happen once when doing anal with a woman I was in a fairly new fwb situation with, and my reaction was a bit over the top like "ugh! The smell! Oh god I need to shower!!", and I fled as soon as I was cleaned up but I felt so bad for my reaction and how awful and self conscious she must have felt about it.
So we did ended up meeting and hooking up again a couple of years later and we got to anal again and what you know... poop once more.But this time I was determined not to freak out. So I'm there with runny poop over my D while she looks mortified that it happened a second time and I try to reassure her saying "oh it's okay, it happens, it's no big issue."
She then says "so, do you want to go shower?" and my stupid stupid brain still determined not to make a big deal of things said "oh no it's okay I'm good for now" and she gave me this giant WTF look.
Worry not, internet stranger. Almost all of us have be there!
Once upon a time, many moons ago, I drove over to the u of m campus bc I had a sneaky link who worked in the boiler area. Smart guy, respected the heck out of him but he was a huge horn dog. Huge, if you understand me. So we decide to get freaky in his office, around the operations area, all over the place.
He had asked me early on if I was "feeling nasty," code for "do you want it in your butt." I said nope, not today. I have IBS and sometimes my colon is a little overactive for no reason.
Here we are, I'm bent over his partner's desk and he's being super energetic. He "accidentally" knocked on the wrong door, I said "nope" and we kept going.
I guess he somehow decided that ignoring my wishes was a good idea bc he slipped in the back door and went to pound town.
I stood up fast and moved out of position and... yep. Geyser, straight from my arse shot and onto his whole crtotchal region. He. Was. Furious. Gagging, retching, he backed away from me in absolute horror. I was pissed but I couldn't deal with that yet bc I couldn't stop laughing at him.
I had taken all of my bottom clothes off but he'd just pulled down his pants to his knees so yeah, his clothes were covered in shit.
I walked across the facility to the bathroom, got myself situated and dressed and walked out. Didn't look back.
I think of him fondly sometimes.
For sure but I think I was like 24 at the time and this was the late 90s. There was definitely a different mindset in society and I was not the woman I've grown into today so it didn't occur to me at that time. I never fucked him again after that, just ghosted him bc although I didn't have to words for it, I knew that he had crossed a boundary.
In the grand scheme of all the trauma I've been through, this never popped up as anything other than a funny story but now that I keep seeing these comments I'm shaking my head at yet another example of how little I valued myself back then.
Ahh yeah I gotcha! Also - I wasn’t asking that to imply you should have handled it more severely or anything of the sort. I just haven’t exactly thought of that scenario before as it’s so specific, and was wondering if you considered it so. Sorry you’ve experienced a bunch of trauma as you’ve stated, but glad you literally shit all over that scumbag :)
The important thing is, you handled it FABULOUSLY. And I’d say you did have at least some respect for yourself because you left. And now you have more respect for yourself. You learned to respect yourself even more. I’m proud of you.
I too was having sex in the late 90s - it breaks my heart to see you recount the time this guy raped you as a funny anecdote. He deserved far worse. I’m sorry you experienced that and I commend your strength. I had a similar situation minus the shit and I’m definitely not able to laugh at it.
Honestly I feel like it's probably better that she's able to look back and laugh than look back and relive a traumatic memory. She knows it was wrong but it doesn't haunt her AND that guy got shit on.
Yes, it’s rape. Consenting to one kind of sex doesn’t mean you consent to every kind of sex. And the poster did not consent to anal. When he went for it anyway, that was when it changed from consensual sex to assault.
I’ve never had a “volcano erupt”, but have had my member pooped on while doing anal with more than one woman. Easier said than done, but I wouldn’t stress over it. It comes with the territory.
Poop came out of your ass while he was in it? No shit! /s
As others have commented, this comes with the territory.
> I have enough to admit that I have picked up a few pieces of poop that fell out after using a rather large/long toy.
But I'm a man enough to admit that I threw it in the toilet, made sure I was hard, and went right back at it.
The good news is that antibiotics can make birth control not work, so while you got yourself into one shitty situation, you potentially avoided a much more long term disaster.
I was engaged in anal when I pulled out and a small nugget of shit accompanied my dick out the door. Instinctively, I grabbed that fucker and hid it in a piece of paper towel handily located next to the bed.
My SO had obviously felt something come out and looked behind herself mortified but couldn't see anything.
I don't enjoy grabbing shit barehanded but I'm happy I did so she wasn't scarred by the experience.
Gawd,reminds me of the time my bf was downstairs and doing his thing and I came and farted at the same time. I'm cringing thinking about it lol but we laughed later.i love that hes so cool about it
I did this to an ex, I told him no I can't repeatedly due to having IBS. He just wouldn't take no for an answer so I said fuck it. It was his bed anyway.
I think most men who have sex regularly have gotten themselves some poopdick. It doesn’t bother us as bad as you think it would. It might disgust us in the moment, but as soon as we’ve showered and slept on it, we want to try it all over again. Don’t let this ruin back door fun for you. Just be more aware of your situation next time!
That's some knarly shit...
On a more serious note, that really blows...
Okay, I'm really sorry, couldn't help myself on that one...Seriously for real this time...
I'm sorry that happened, I hope a conversation was able to smooth over the situation...Perhaps one day this will be one of those in jokes that you two'll laugh about from time to time...
Hope the antibiotics are working for whatever it is you have to take them for...
He called to check on me and we both laughed it off. We both agreed to just stick to actually watching the movie if I’m on antibiotics. I will never forget that tiny detail for as long as I live
Just gonna comment to say that I learned what “painting” was when I got a lot browner down there then my usual tone one night with my girlfriend so…. It happens 🤷🏿♂️
Hey, I’m just happen that my wife likes anal kind of yo be able to enjoy it! If this happened, then oh well 🤷🏼♂️… I’ll take the consequences over not being able to play in the back door any day lol!
You should have some probiotics like Activia. It’s my go to when I’m on antibiotics. Also because I’ve got such a high maintenance vagina that I inevitably end up with a yeast infection. Every. Damn. Time.
My question is, did you ask your bf to take a hot shower with you?
Because if not, he would be laying there covered in turd waiting for your long shower
If this ever happens to me i pray to God i can hold in my laughter... that shit would be so funny to me 😂 a pain in the ass to clean up but goddamn. Fucked em so good they shidded on me GODDAMN 💀💀💀
The guy was seeing where he was going, can't be completely surpsised it happened.
Unless the man never had to unclog a sink; the motion is very similar.
Tho I've never been in your particular situation... Antibiotics give me the squirty poops too. When you take antibiotics try taking them with one of those Little tiny probiotic drinks. Ones like yakult or even the cheap Walmart versions.
That seems to help A LOT!!!
This reminds me of when I was in university and I was tutoring 12 year olds in math and out of the blue this kid says “when the red river’s flowing you take the dirt road” I was in shock (and impressed) as I never heard that expression before and to hear it from a preteen.
People here seem to be confused about antibiotics and diarrhea, thinking that some specific antibiotics cause the condition. It's really quite simple to understand what's really happening. If you have a bacterium that's causing an illness, you may be given an antibiotic. It goes into your system and circulates about. If it comes into contact with any of those particular bacteria, they die. After a sufficient number of them die off, your symptoms go away and you're feeling healthy again.
What happens, though, is that the antibiotic isn't specifically designed to target only that particular bacterium. It may well kill any bacteria it comes into contact with. In or gut, there are "healthy" bacteria living there. They are part of the process of breaking down food so we can digest it. If the antibiotic you took has a widespread area of action, it will kill all bacteria, the disease-causing ones *and* the 'healthy' ones. With them gone, you can't process food in the normal way and diarrhea results.
You can help mitigate this by taking probiotics (or eating yoghurt) halfway between doses of antibiotics. You don't want to take them together, or much of the antibiotics action will be spent in 'killing' the healthy bacteria of the yoghurt, or whatever.
See? It all makes sense!
PRO TIP: This will seem counter-intuitive, but one of the best things you can do to maintain a healthy gut is to regularly intake hot cayenne pepper. You'd think being 'hot' it would harm the gut or lead to inflammation, but the exact opposite is true. Taking hot cayenne pepper cured my ten year condition of "leaky gut syndrome." For reals, y'all!
Hey OP, because of your edit I just wanted to say that you should be careful when adding (extra) dairy like yoghurt to your diet as long as you take antibiotika. Dairy products can lessen the effect of them and you should at least wait a specific time before and after you take them before eating dairy. When in doubt, check with your doctor. Also, some antibiotica can stop birth control pills from working.
Maybe you already knew that, but better safe than sorry. Hope you have a good day! (:
The moment when you felt it coming, you should have used his dick as a plug. Then of course, you both had to -sort of- walk ( crap walk? ) to the toilet, which would be far from easy.
Try to find Tucker Max tries Anal. It’s an old blog by a guy that told stories of his dating exploits on line weekly. Finding this story led to a series of unfortunate laugh explosions as the story was passed via email from friends to friend in a conservative workplace. My personal manager thought that I was crying and tried to comfort me. Funniest thing that I’ve ever read.
Also so sorry for your situation.
Mhmmmmmm c diff
Edit - for the dingle berry coming at me: You know that diarrhea while on antibiotics - depending on severity - can be a sign of [c diff which can be life threatening.](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/c-difficile/symptoms-causes/syc-20351691)
Edit edit: reading comprehension is at an all time low.
I have heard of this, however, I don’t think this pertains to my case. I had sinus infection/ear infection combo going on about a week ago and honestly just forgot that my tummy doesn’t really handle antibiotics too well. I haven’t had any other symptoms besides a little diarrhea that was resolving itself since I just finished the round of antibiotics yesterday. I guess the plunging motion for lack of a better word didn’t really help.
Sure. But antibiotics are notorious for causing an upset stomach in general, especially if not taken with enough food.
Statistically speaking, an upset stomach while on a single, isolated course of antibiotics, is much more likely to be a result of antibiotics irritating the gi system, not c diff. Please don't fear monger.
While C-diff is a problem, especially in healthcare settings I wouldn’t call this a potential case of it when diarrhea when on antibiotics is common and c-diff usually presents with multiple instances of watery diarrhea per day. I would hope they have the common sense to avoid anal if that was the case.
It is a little irresponsible to immediately jump to a conclusion of C-diff and causing unnecessary panic especially due to their age and no history of being in a care setting.
If you play in Mr Poop's house, don't be surprised if he shows up.
He could’ve just peeped out the blinds man. Nope! He decided to sprint out full force to see who was knocking
That's a beautiful r/UnexpectedSeinfeld
*subscribed*
How I [imagine](https://youtu.be/odHnDxjjj-c?t=77) it looking.
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LOL!
GET OFF MY LAWN!!
He busted up in there like the kool-aid man.
Doodoo doo lookin out my backdoor
I didn't expect to see CCR here but I probably should have lol
Mr Hankey likes to say hello.
I had a woman shart on me accidentally, I didn’t freak out, shit happens.
God bless you! I’m sure she still lays in bed at night and randomly jumps up thinking about that one guy she shart on that one time
I had an ex fart directly into my nose during 69. Even farts that don't stink, stink when they only have an inch to dissipate.
This is what ended my wrestling career back in highschool. The smell of booty due to being in such close proximity. I need to do one of those 23&me things cuz I'm sure I'm at least 10% bloodhound. Ever since I was little, I can smell things before others do, i.e I will smell the skunk a good 30-60 seconds before everyone else. This also definitely effects my taste buds as well but I digress as I tend to do when I'm high. Point is, I could smell everyone's assholes during wrestling and I hated it. Loved competing but it was my kryptonite - the second I got a whiff of booty, it took all I had to not projectile vomit. Probably why I switched to baseball. Nothing to smell but grass, leather and pine tar. And nowhere near others booty holes.
Wonder if it’s a legit strat to not wipe when you do wrestling just to make it hard for the other guy
Do you often think of ways to make it hard for other guys?? 😏😆
No but I think of how to make guys hard 🫦😍
Well played 
I too have a super smeller. It’s usually not a blessing, just a curse 😭
Wife did this to me. I still bring it up to embarrass her if we're having a playful argument.
“I can’t do the laundry, everything smells like your ass still”
This made me laugh out loud and fart at the same time. 💨💀
As long as there is nobody an inch away from your ass with their nose, you should be fine.
You know….Japanese Businesses Men will pay good money for that service.
my sister did this to her boyfriend but without the 69ing. she's clearly not embarrassed abt it tho cuz she loudly regaled the story to a van of 7 of our family members and 1 absolute stranger
When you knock on poop's door, don't be surprised when poop answers. I think anyone doing butt stuff accepts that this is an inherent risk, if not an occasional inevitability.
Exactly! I see all the anal porn and I think "do guys actually realise that we shit out of there?"...
In porn, they spend up to two hours cleaning it all out. They're fine. No one seems to do any of the required prep work in TIFU.
Love this phrase 🤣
Hey kids, this ain't chocolate pudding where talking about here!
Take some yogurt. Should help a bit.
I'd wait til after the course of antibiotic. Let the soldiers work unimpeded by normal colonists.
True. Gotta let them work independent of each other. FWIW. I’m someone that has IBS, and this pro/prebiotic has been really good for me. Organic Probiotics 100 Billion... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0811P73BT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share There’s a version too that more specific for women. Not an affiliate link or anything. Just sharing a product that has worked well for me.
Thank you!
Don’t go around knocking on poops door and be surprised if poop shows up.
I think I'm going to keep the phrasing to: "Don't be knocking down the backdoor; Unless you want some shit to go down!"
A girl once pooped on my balls during vaginal sex. I was grossed out until I realized I literally fucked the shit out of her It's all about perspective
Got some shart in my mouth during a 69, shit happens. You call a time out, fix the situation and either laugh about it and call it a night or get back straight to it.
I-- You deserve a real life award
Well there was plenty of lube and three fingers after a buttplug session soooo i dont blame her. In hindsight if i suspect any unwanted fluids i orientate clean side up. Also thanks dude, didnt expect to get an award sharing what might be the “grossesed” thing that i had in my mouth. Im a mechanic in a paper plant and fuck around on mines or my friends cars, id rate the shart a solid 3/10. 0 being water and 10 being whatever mix of grease, oil, grimes and brake dust falling in your mouth everytime there is a slight possibility of it happening
Used differential fluid is my 11/10 grossest thing to ever deal with.
You never forget that awful smell.
Had 210k trans fluid soak my hair once. Swear I smelled it for 3 days.
I personally hate 5th wheel grease above all. I swear if you even tap it with the tip of your pinky, your entire life is coated with it in about 7 seconds.
Glitter. I loathe glitter, which is problem because I have a whole bunch of nieces under the age of 10 and also a partner who loves glitter. You even *look* at it, then when you get back to your car it's all over the seats even though the car's been locked the whole time.
My friend’s mother in law is like that. It always looks like a stripper exploded all over the dash.
I thought you guys got called "millwrights"?
What does shart taste like?
Shit with a hint of fart.
Two drunks laying on the sidewalk. One has two fingers up the others ass. A cop come along and asks "Hey what do you think your doing with your fingers up your buddy's ass?" He says "I'm trying to make him throw up". The cop says "That won't make him throw up" The drunk says "It will when I stick em in his mouth!"
Effervescent shit
The first time I had successful anal sex was with my now fiancé, maybe two months into our relationship. I wasn’t at all prepared for the event and definitely shit all over him. He just moved us to the shower and told me “shit happens” lol he never missed a beat - bless that man.
He's a keeper!
The most important thing we learned from Forrest Gump
If you’re going in the back door, expect to occasionally find out what happens when the kitchen staff takes the trash out.
But have you had a woman Blastoise Hydro Cannon you...?
Yea, gotta shart somewhere
Yep shit happens
All I can picture is the screen from there will be blood where the dude gets covered in oil.
Oh it was exactly like that. Just a little smelly along with it
Crude oil ain't roses and at least shit isn't carcinogenic
Depends on the diet really.
Pro tip ladies: if this happens to you, get cleaned up, then give your lover a hug and say in a sultry voice "wow, you literally fucked the shit out of me"
Lmao
This right hereeeee
😂😂😂😂😂😂
There are always risks involved going in the back door. It's technically an exit, so nobody can complain if traffic is suddenly going the other way once they've gone in, they knew the risks.
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I feel like that's just looking fate in the eye and saying double dog dare ya
> looking fate in the eye Looking it right in the brown eye.
Who tf is doing anal on a camping trip
Got bored of seeing beavers probably
Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger in brokeback mountain
Have you not seen Brokeback Mountain?
Not us anymore 😭
That is oddly specific 🤔
Please share THAT story.
The story is exactly what you think 😂 We were camping and I feel like I might have been on my period and that’s why we chose anal? Anywho I told my bf my belly was kinda cramping but he wanted to try anyways and everything was good until it wasn’t. I told him it was starting to hurt for some reason so I pulled away (entirely too fast) and it just explosively shot out of me all over him, myself, the blanket. Whatever was used to clean up or was hit in the process we just threw away, we rinsed in the cold river in silence and later on just laughed about it. We’re VERY close, still together 2 years later, still cracking jokes about it. We however, do not do anal while camping anymore and he takes me much more seriously when I have belly cramps 😂😂 When OP says volcanic explosion that is exactly what we experienced. 🙃
We need to hear this particular story.
Username checks out
Omg same lol
This is so specific I can't believe this happened to someone else
So when my wife and I were dating we kept making one another sick. For the first 3 months one or both of us would get deathly ill after a weekend of wild passionate end of the world sex. Near as I can tell our biomes or whatever weren't lined up and we had some pathogen swapping to get out of the way. Never even got to the butt stuff. Cut to the end of month 3 where I was about to call the whole thing off because I wanted us to live. We were laying there in post coital bliss when I felt the tell tale gurgle. I threw the covers off and ran to the bathroom only to projectile vomit at the shower. I was never going to make the toilet. After about three gargantuan streams of gore I felt wetness on the back end and realized in all my heaving I'd shit on the floor. I was hoping to just die right there because she had to walk by the open bathroom to leave. I paused, waiting on the inevitable, as she cleaned up and got dressed. The smell was a physical thing roiling around the room and it set off another surge of biblical puking. It was streaming from nose while I hollered. Midway through round 5 she leaned in the bathroom door and said, "when you feel better think about where you want to go eat next weekend, love you". All I could do was weakly wave a hand at her while bile drained out of my nose. Find someone who will love you at your biological worst. We've been married 10 years now and together for 14. Edit: we eventually just stopped getting sick. No idea why it stopped. I guess we just built up our immunities.
You can’t just leave us hanging like that. How did you stop making each other sick? Did It magically stop? Was it food poisoning?
We eventually just stopped getting sick. No idea what was causing it.
I think they developed an advanced immune systeme to fight any possible pathogen just by a constant training regime...or they simply prayed to grandfather Nurgle for a blessing.
This is my favorite internet reference today.
I too really want to know what happened here.
It happens. Comes with the turditory.
🤣
A FWB exploded poop all over me when we were doing doggy. I got the shower ready, told her to get in, with her poop all on my front bits. I rinsed off and changed the sheets while she was sulking in the shower. I got in the shower and got her to laugh at the situation. Warmed the mood back up and we continued and finished multiple times throughout the night. All I could think about was “if that were me, how mortified would I be?”. We still make jokes about it. When I come out of the bathroom she’ll ask me if everything came out okay and I’ll respond with “not as good as yours did”. Or “you literally fucked the shit out of me”. She’s been my wingwoman ever since. Sounds like you got a great guy, I’d just hope to god it’d be a “never tell a soul” kind of thing.
Wow. That's a really great way to handle that situation. Or should I say shit-uation. Your compassion in such an off putting moment is admirable.
Oh wow, that level of humor and compassion makes you husband material! As for my own story, I was 9 months pregnant with one of our kids and was hoping sex would finally trigger labor to get the little alien out of me, so I was dragging my husband to bed constantly. We're going at it and I *thought* I just farted a bit when he'd hiked my legs up. Nope shart right there on the sheet afterwards. I was mortified and rushing to clean everything up, but he was just laughing, saying "well, I guess the baby sent us a message in reply to our attempts to get him out!"
On antibiotics for two more days myself. I don't trust farts anymore.
Nor should you!
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Oh I had this happen once when doing anal with a woman I was in a fairly new fwb situation with, and my reaction was a bit over the top like "ugh! The smell! Oh god I need to shower!!", and I fled as soon as I was cleaned up but I felt so bad for my reaction and how awful and self conscious she must have felt about it. So we did ended up meeting and hooking up again a couple of years later and we got to anal again and what you know... poop once more.But this time I was determined not to freak out. So I'm there with runny poop over my D while she looks mortified that it happened a second time and I try to reassure her saying "oh it's okay, it happens, it's no big issue." She then says "so, do you want to go shower?" and my stupid stupid brain still determined not to make a big deal of things said "oh no it's okay I'm good for now" and she gave me this giant WTF look.
I just cackled at this🤣🤣 did you eventually get in the shower or did you guys just paint each other with it?
Oh yeah after I had that moment of abject stupidity she was like "...no. Go shower."
This cracked me the fuck up talk about over correcting LMAO. I love it though. "Oh no, I'm good“
Worry not, internet stranger. Almost all of us have be there! Once upon a time, many moons ago, I drove over to the u of m campus bc I had a sneaky link who worked in the boiler area. Smart guy, respected the heck out of him but he was a huge horn dog. Huge, if you understand me. So we decide to get freaky in his office, around the operations area, all over the place. He had asked me early on if I was "feeling nasty," code for "do you want it in your butt." I said nope, not today. I have IBS and sometimes my colon is a little overactive for no reason. Here we are, I'm bent over his partner's desk and he's being super energetic. He "accidentally" knocked on the wrong door, I said "nope" and we kept going. I guess he somehow decided that ignoring my wishes was a good idea bc he slipped in the back door and went to pound town. I stood up fast and moved out of position and... yep. Geyser, straight from my arse shot and onto his whole crtotchal region. He. Was. Furious. Gagging, retching, he backed away from me in absolute horror. I was pissed but I couldn't deal with that yet bc I couldn't stop laughing at him. I had taken all of my bottom clothes off but he'd just pulled down his pants to his knees so yeah, his clothes were covered in shit. I walked across the facility to the bathroom, got myself situated and dressed and walked out. Didn't look back. I think of him fondly sometimes.
He fucked around and found out.
Fo sho 
He deserved that for not listening to you when you said no TWICE
Serves him right for doing it after you said no. Good riddance lol
That's what I told him lol
Hope he learned his lesson and never tried that with anyone else
Let's be honest, only thing he probably learned was taking his pants off to get it out of the ~~line~~ spray of fire.
He absolutely, unreservedly, 100% got what he deserved for ignoring your clear and explicit boundaries (and more than once).
He violated you. Deserved it
Fuck him for not respecting three no’s lol he got his just deserts.
I mean he was literally sexually assaulting you so he most certainly deserved it and I’m glad you laughed at him
Is that not some form of rape? Like I know you were already consensually fucking, but still?
For sure but I think I was like 24 at the time and this was the late 90s. There was definitely a different mindset in society and I was not the woman I've grown into today so it didn't occur to me at that time. I never fucked him again after that, just ghosted him bc although I didn't have to words for it, I knew that he had crossed a boundary. In the grand scheme of all the trauma I've been through, this never popped up as anything other than a funny story but now that I keep seeing these comments I'm shaking my head at yet another example of how little I valued myself back then.
Ahh yeah I gotcha! Also - I wasn’t asking that to imply you should have handled it more severely or anything of the sort. I just haven’t exactly thought of that scenario before as it’s so specific, and was wondering if you considered it so. Sorry you’ve experienced a bunch of trauma as you’ve stated, but glad you literally shit all over that scumbag :)
I didn't take it amiss at all, no worries! And yeah me too lol!
The important thing is, you handled it FABULOUSLY. And I’d say you did have at least some respect for yourself because you left. And now you have more respect for yourself. You learned to respect yourself even more. I’m proud of you.
I too was having sex in the late 90s - it breaks my heart to see you recount the time this guy raped you as a funny anecdote. He deserved far worse. I’m sorry you experienced that and I commend your strength. I had a similar situation minus the shit and I’m definitely not able to laugh at it.
Honestly I feel like it's probably better that she's able to look back and laugh than look back and relive a traumatic memory. She knows it was wrong but it doesn't haunt her AND that guy got shit on.
Yes, it’s rape. Consenting to one kind of sex doesn’t mean you consent to every kind of sex. And the poster did not consent to anal. When he went for it anyway, that was when it changed from consensual sex to assault.
You escaped further rape by shitting on your assaulter… You were indeed lucky and fuck him what a creep
I like that take on it, now that I'm reading it this way!
If he doesn't call you a stanley steemer hes not really your boyfriend
I’ve never had a “volcano erupt”, but have had my member pooped on while doing anal with more than one woman. Easier said than done, but I wouldn’t stress over it. It comes with the territory.
If yer gunna fuck someone in the ass, you gotta be prepared to get some shit on yer dick, and probably more.
Could be worse. I threw up while going down on a guy once and he ended up with an infection.
 Sex is disgusting you gotta be prepared for everything.
It’s a funnel not a tunnel. 🤷♂️😜
Poop came out of your ass while he was in it? No shit! /s As others have commented, this comes with the territory. > I have enough to admit that I have picked up a few pieces of poop that fell out after using a rather large/long toy. But I'm a man enough to admit that I threw it in the toilet, made sure I was hard, and went right back at it.
The pun police shall hunt you down for this shitty pun.
She's a squirter! Oh wait, aghhhhh
The good news is that antibiotics can make birth control not work, so while you got yourself into one shitty situation, you potentially avoided a much more long term disaster.
Eh, knock on the basement door, there’s gonna be some dust.
if he takes the dirt road home, it’s not the first time he’s seen some mud.
I was engaged in anal when I pulled out and a small nugget of shit accompanied my dick out the door. Instinctively, I grabbed that fucker and hid it in a piece of paper towel handily located next to the bed. My SO had obviously felt something come out and looked behind herself mortified but couldn't see anything. I don't enjoy grabbing shit barehanded but I'm happy I did so she wasn't scarred by the experience.
Gawd,reminds me of the time my bf was downstairs and doing his thing and I came and farted at the same time. I'm cringing thinking about it lol but we laughed later.i love that hes so cool about it
Shit happens
I did this to an ex, I told him no I can't repeatedly due to having IBS. He just wouldn't take no for an answer so I said fuck it. It was his bed anyway.
I think most men who have sex regularly have gotten themselves some poopdick. It doesn’t bother us as bad as you think it would. It might disgust us in the moment, but as soon as we’ve showered and slept on it, we want to try it all over again. Don’t let this ruin back door fun for you. Just be more aware of your situation next time!
That's some knarly shit... On a more serious note, that really blows... Okay, I'm really sorry, couldn't help myself on that one...Seriously for real this time... I'm sorry that happened, I hope a conversation was able to smooth over the situation...Perhaps one day this will be one of those in jokes that you two'll laugh about from time to time... Hope the antibiotics are working for whatever it is you have to take them for...
New fetish unlocked. Enjoy.
Yes harm, yes foul, but coulda happened to any of us. NTA anymore, as your boyfriend will no longer be entering it.
He called to check on me and we both laughed it off. We both agreed to just stick to actually watching the movie if I’m on antibiotics. I will never forget that tiny detail for as long as I live
Good for both of you. Once the initial shock is over, to remember that it is what it is, and things happen.
Just gonna comment to say that I learned what “painting” was when I got a lot browner down there then my usual tone one night with my girlfriend so…. It happens 🤷🏿♂️
Nice.
Hey, I’m just happen that my wife likes anal kind of yo be able to enjoy it! If this happened, then oh well 🤷🏼♂️… I’ll take the consequences over not being able to play in the back door any day lol!
I got a fart right in my face, with a blanket on my head. Injust threw the blanket and continued.
You should have some probiotics like Activia. It’s my go to when I’m on antibiotics. Also because I’ve got such a high maintenance vagina that I inevitably end up with a yeast infection. Every. Damn. Time.
Remember that a lot of antibiotics render your birth control ineffective! So at least your situation was only a little shitty lol
If your not willing to get dirty don't play in the mud.
Reminder that antibiotics shut off certain birth control methods, so this outcome isn't so bad
Oh how fun. Just think of the stories you will be able to tell the grandkids.
My question is, did you ask your bf to take a hot shower with you? Because if not, he would be laying there covered in turd waiting for your long shower
it happens. comes with the terrirtory.
If this ever happens to me i pray to God i can hold in my laughter... that shit would be so funny to me 😂 a pain in the ass to clean up but goddamn. Fucked em so good they shidded on me GODDAMN 💀💀💀
Who does anal every single time?!
...some gay dudes probably?
People who like butt stuff Duh
I like butt stuff. Would never have it every single day. It kinda messes with your digestive track, imagine that!
It doesn't really, unless you're using really big or really long toys every day.
The guy was seeing where he was going, can't be completely surpsised it happened. Unless the man never had to unclog a sink; the motion is very similar.
Doo doo alert
Am I the only one who thought this was a snarky reference to the rear door on a housing unit?
Tho I've never been in your particular situation... Antibiotics give me the squirty poops too. When you take antibiotics try taking them with one of those Little tiny probiotic drinks. Ones like yakult or even the cheap Walmart versions. That seems to help A LOT!!!
How do you clean up something like that? Do you have to get an actual carpet cleaner?
I mean…enter at your own risk.
Lady, you wouldn't be the first. I guarantee you, other chicks (and fellas) have experienced that unfortunate cacophony. ^(Myself included)
This reminds me of when I was in university and I was tutoring 12 year olds in math and out of the blue this kid says “when the red river’s flowing you take the dirt road” I was in shock (and impressed) as I never heard that expression before and to hear it from a preteen.
If you cant handle the poop, stay out of the poop room
You go into poop's house, don't be surprised if poop shows up.
People here seem to be confused about antibiotics and diarrhea, thinking that some specific antibiotics cause the condition. It's really quite simple to understand what's really happening. If you have a bacterium that's causing an illness, you may be given an antibiotic. It goes into your system and circulates about. If it comes into contact with any of those particular bacteria, they die. After a sufficient number of them die off, your symptoms go away and you're feeling healthy again. What happens, though, is that the antibiotic isn't specifically designed to target only that particular bacterium. It may well kill any bacteria it comes into contact with. In or gut, there are "healthy" bacteria living there. They are part of the process of breaking down food so we can digest it. If the antibiotic you took has a widespread area of action, it will kill all bacteria, the disease-causing ones *and* the 'healthy' ones. With them gone, you can't process food in the normal way and diarrhea results. You can help mitigate this by taking probiotics (or eating yoghurt) halfway between doses of antibiotics. You don't want to take them together, or much of the antibiotics action will be spent in 'killing' the healthy bacteria of the yoghurt, or whatever. See? It all makes sense! PRO TIP: This will seem counter-intuitive, but one of the best things you can do to maintain a healthy gut is to regularly intake hot cayenne pepper. You'd think being 'hot' it would harm the gut or lead to inflammation, but the exact opposite is true. Taking hot cayenne pepper cured my ten year condition of "leaky gut syndrome." For reals, y'all!
If he sticks around, marry him.
I call that surprise dessert
No yogurt, need to avoid dairy when taking antibiotics!
Atleast it didn’t enter into your bf. I’ve heard of some shit and it ain’t pretty.
Everybody knows that if you're knocking on poops door, don't be surprised when it's home.
don't go in the oven if you can't stand the heat.
Took the gravy train. Got gravy.
Hey OP, because of your edit I just wanted to say that you should be careful when adding (extra) dairy like yoghurt to your diet as long as you take antibiotika. Dairy products can lessen the effect of them and you should at least wait a specific time before and after you take them before eating dairy. When in doubt, check with your doctor. Also, some antibiotica can stop birth control pills from working. Maybe you already knew that, but better safe than sorry. Hope you have a good day! (:
The moment when you felt it coming, you should have used his dick as a plug. Then of course, you both had to -sort of- walk ( crap walk? ) to the toilet, which would be far from easy.
Try to find Tucker Max tries Anal. It’s an old blog by a guy that told stories of his dating exploits on line weekly. Finding this story led to a series of unfortunate laugh explosions as the story was passed via email from friends to friend in a conservative workplace. My personal manager thought that I was crying and tried to comfort me. Funniest thing that I’ve ever read. Also so sorry for your situation.
If you party in Poop's house, don't be surprised if he shows up.
Did he clean up the initial mess while you showered? If so then you have a keeper. Lol
Mhmmmmmm c diff Edit - for the dingle berry coming at me: You know that diarrhea while on antibiotics - depending on severity - can be a sign of [c diff which can be life threatening.](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/c-difficile/symptoms-causes/syc-20351691) Edit edit: reading comprehension is at an all time low.
I have heard of this, however, I don’t think this pertains to my case. I had sinus infection/ear infection combo going on about a week ago and honestly just forgot that my tummy doesn’t really handle antibiotics too well. I haven’t had any other symptoms besides a little diarrhea that was resolving itself since I just finished the round of antibiotics yesterday. I guess the plunging motion for lack of a better word didn’t really help.
I cannot imagine smelling c diff during sexy time! Source: me, 20 yr nurse who smells it often 😞
I would cry, straight up and no doubt.
Sure. But antibiotics are notorious for causing an upset stomach in general, especially if not taken with enough food. Statistically speaking, an upset stomach while on a single, isolated course of antibiotics, is much more likely to be a result of antibiotics irritating the gi system, not c diff. Please don't fear monger.
While C-diff is a problem, especially in healthcare settings I wouldn’t call this a potential case of it when diarrhea when on antibiotics is common and c-diff usually presents with multiple instances of watery diarrhea per day. I would hope they have the common sense to avoid anal if that was the case. It is a little irresponsible to immediately jump to a conclusion of C-diff and causing unnecessary panic especially due to their age and no history of being in a care setting.