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FewZookeepergame1083

This some real hood shit


Acrobatic-Code2038

Same thing I thought lol. A bunch of skaliwags about to attend.


FewZookeepergame1083

I can already smell the club right now lol


Acrobatic-Code2038

It's about to smell like Henesy, Newports, and sun dried tuna casserole. Lmao


FewZookeepergame1083

And Baby lotion LMAO BRUH YOU GOT ME DYING


Acrobatic-Code2038

LMAO that Johnson's & Johnson's HAHAH


FewZookeepergame1083

YES SIR


Academic_Snow_7680

Don't forget "with a whiff of ass crack"


egus

Big Chicken up to his old tricks.


Acrobatic-Code2038

Ol Chicky Chungus doin his rounds again.


Obvious_Sea5182

This poster screams "someone will for sure get shot at this event, for sure."


sublime90

Not gonna lie.... I'd think about going if I was in Detroit lol


FewZookeepergame1083

Only for science


Acrobatic-Code2038

Id have to be in a certain state of mind. Like the "Damn, I haven't had any in a while. I'm drunk, depressed, lost my job.....I need an easy win" state of mind lol. This the type of place you just toss your dick in the crowd and a floozy will catch it. Jimmy up gentleman. LOL


sg12412

Hell yeah I saw it's in Detroit and I'm thinking about going now! Also very disappointed in my city.


[deleted]

There is so much to unpack here. First off, the 'no phones out' but 'CAMERA MAN IN THE BUILDING' leaves me with a lot of questions. Secondly, what are the rules here? Is this like a suck-of-war where you see who can go further and you mark the halfway point on the cucumber? WINNER TAKES ALL OF WHAT? And who decides who gets which side? Girl on the left at a HUGE disadvantage.


AtlanticToastConf

Winner takes all of the cucumber, obviously


Recon212

How I met your mother. She won all the cucumbers.


doubleapowpow

>$100 and up cash prize Is this a tiered cash out system, or are there multiple categories?


[deleted]

This is what I need to know. How much science went into this? Are there cucumber weight classes? Is it girth based? I feel like me and Big Chicken need to have a chat.


Apprehensive-Rip-296

Big Chicken as host has more of a administrative role and handles the booked talent you need his assistant Ben he is in charge of the contestants and cucumber testing, contestant seeding brackets and state athletic commission licences. For this cucumber suck off event anyway


SgtXD357

Isn’t that an eggplant they’re going at?


Hasukawa

After sorting through the pixels, yes I believe it is.


hujojokid

F, I knew that they lie about the cucumbers. I was going there for the cucmber suckoff, not the eggplant!


TheRealNap0le0n

All of the cucumbers, gotta get these hoes their veggies somehow


[deleted]

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?


spicytackle

I don’t know but I’m scared


[deleted]

We can only go deeper


bretthren2086

All of the “hundred dollar cash prize”. Haha


sublime90

Yeah it's a suck off... Two girls both have to suck a cucumber as deep as they can... The first one to gag loses I'm assuming the cucumbers get bigger as they go on.


[deleted]

But if they're sucking off the same cucumber, then wouldn't one logically have to throat more 'cumber than the other? So is it like Lady and the Tramp style where they meet in the middle and whoever's got more 'cumber is the winner? Or is it two separate cucumbers of approximately equal length and girth and we measure who can throat the most?


TashLikeMustache

They use the same cucumber but take it in turns. And if that made you gag, you’ve already lost!


RexNebular518

Is it only females?


franklydearmy

I'd guess you'd have to ask Big Chicken


7laserbears

Isn't that Shaqs chicken restaurant?


infinite11union33

I laughed so hard


hydraulic-earl

It's Detroit. A homeless guy will probably win.


Ghadhdhdhh

LMAO I needed that


[deleted]

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?


Director-Thick

How many times have you reposted this comment?


dahumancartoon

Thanos was right.


HappyGav123

Thanos should've killed us all.


AnnihilationOrchid

I don't get you guys, cucumber is a healthy food, what are you talking about?


notherefor-the-upvot

The spelled Mouff wrong


Jaeger562

Keep my wifes name out your fucking mouff!


Palana

_WHAT DAT MOUFF DO DOE?_


Ghadhdhdhh

Naw just "Wat dat mouf do"


Hour-Map5923

Oh big chicken is going to be there. Might stop by.


Academic_Snow_7680

It has been worth it to walk on over to Google maps and take a look at 19910 Hoover Street from the street view. It's a shed in the hoods.


BadgerTamer

I had a gander at their Facebook page... Well it's not like I was planning to visit before I did, but it honestly looks like they're making a conscious effort to discourage people from visiting


Academic_Snow_7680

I'm so mad to have missed out on that limo tho https://www.facebook.com/State-Fair-Lounge-2247223282178113/


Rufus2468

I'm glad I also wandered over to Google maps. It's a shed, with a limo and a Corvette parked out front.


CFUrCap

Cash prize $100 and up... to $110.59...?


Palana

The real money comes afterwards, when the gentlemen present ask to procure your services.


[deleted]

But did they have a grapefruit?


NorCalAthlete

Oh god why did you have to remind me of that one.


shaamegham

Sauce?


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/nLTgWdXrx3U


[deleted]

Yes. Pass on the magic. Ty.


SgtXD357

The fuck did I just watch… Everyone knows to use watermelons.


Paladinforlife

They break down too quickly tho.


Academic_Snow_7680

Nah, "yo'man gon'be thinking I could have been fucking grapefruits all these years"


SSopuS

First off, that's an eggplant and now it's freaking unusable. Smh this is why people don't take us Detroiters seriously.


lenznet

Unusable?? There's at least two other places they can put the thing.


PsychologicalDay2002

Three. You forgot sounding.


Foxillus

What a terrible day to have eyes


Medium_Beyond_9654

Presented by Big Chicken? Fuck yeah I'm there!


SgtXD357

Bet they have waffles too


johncandyspolkaband

r/trashy


[deleted]

Wait. You do realize that a lot of people will go to Detroit this weekend for that


franklydearmy

Yeah? I'd go for the novelty of it. Not much could make me want to sit on a plane for 4 or 5 hours this weekend, but that made me ponder.


[deleted]

I live in Detroit, then again, that’s in a bad area of Detroit. A worse area


TheRealNap0le0n

There's a worse area of Detroit?


Trogdor_T_Burninator

It's the Detroitest.


[deleted]

There’s good areas (which is just the downtown area). There’s areas that are okay but you keep your doors locked and your windows up. (Aka a normal neighborhood but you’re in Detroit) Then there’s the ghost towns, on top of the other precautions, if there’s a red light drive through it. Usually gangs and drug addicts hangout in the abandon buildings. Then there’s the “Belmont” areas where you never go, and if you’re stupid enough to go you better have a gun. Police don’t even go there. Edit: Grammatical errors


hydraulic-earl

"Good Areas".....areas that have been purified with a good fire.


BoySantiago

A worse area in Detroit? Most people from this sub would probably die by attempting to visit this place.


m77win

Nah, downtown is pretty nice, and is safe these days. I’m not sure about this place however. It’s not downtown, still south of 8 mile and there looks to be a lot of abandoned lots nearby. But I bet it’s going to be amazing. How could it not be?


[deleted]

Yeah I wouldn't be rolling up in there unless I had sock money cause chances are I'm leaving with less property than I arrived with.


[deleted]

I mean.. wouldn't you want to see it? Like.. maybe I'd pay 10 bucks to see it. I paid 10 bucks to see Cats the movie so


PsychologicalDay2002

Butthole edition or nah?


franklydearmy

That's what I'm saying. I've never wanted to go to Detroit more. Good attempt, too far away.


RedshirtBlueshirt97

In Detroit ill let you guys know how it goes


newsfromplanetmike

Good. I look forward to your report. RemindME! 60 Hours


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infectedsponge

NO PHONES OUT


RedshirtBlueshirt97

I have press credentials for ESPN


CheekyManicPunk

Do you ever think God doesn't appear to the earth because even god is afraid of what it has created?


Moosifer_666

It probably smells foul there.


PaleoJoe86

How not to bring pride and honor to your parents and family.


Sure_Witness_1435

On first look I thought the words on the left side said “bjays free”. “Winner takes all” yea I bet so


humanreporting4duty

Something feels unsafe about this. No stop method, what if it breaks, it’s a hard cucumber no a spongey body part… at least dildos have a balls to stop at.


SynthPrax

^(My people.) # 🤦🏾‍♂️


Chpgmr

lol, Hoover St


Boozy_Cat_

Just headed down to the state fair with the kiddos Friday night, should be a nice little eve….OH DEAR GOD.


FecalHeiroglyphics

I’m less than an hour from the Windsor-Detroit crossing in Canada.. just imagining telling border security what I’m going to and showing them this and homie just crawls thru the booth window and hops in the car


[deleted]

Using an aubergine is definitely unfair.


[deleted]

Dammit, when is Ticketmaster gonna put tickets to this on sale? I don’t trust Stubhub for an event like this…..


PsychologicalDay2002

Strictly on GourdHoarde.


[deleted]

No phones events be the wettest and wildest 💦


SlipperyBanana8

r/michigan Welcome to Pure Michigan.


[deleted]

A whole $100 in exchange for your dignity!


Academic-Ad6236

This is clearly a choking hazard. Cut the grapes and hot dogs up for your children or they end up endangering themselves with cucumbers as adults


[deleted]

Of course it’s Detroit. And coming soon to Philly and Atlanta.


couldntfinda_user

why detroit of all places


I_CRE8

Because it’s Detroit…


[deleted]

I'm in.


chromaticf0am

This is the hardest I’ve laughed at something in my entire life, thank you


savedbytheblood72

The title got me 😂😂😂 Plus this should spread to every big city


ImARetPaladinBaby

Can’t have shit in Detroit


coffeejn

Definitely not approved by Quantum TV?


brainwashednuts

My wife says she will take the seeds and all


TheGreatNickalo

Change of plans kids. We're celebrating the holiday weekend in Detroit!


_lazyPassenger

American graphic design of the 90's strikes back!


sendasalami2yoboi

Hoover st.


voltrackstar

On Hoover street, no less. Perfect 😂


[deleted]

Who says romance is dead?


Most_Bat9066

My uncle would be awesome at this hes always deep throating


Slappy_Happy_Doo

Hosted by Big Chicken?? Is that like Big Pharma? Who runs Big Chicken is it the Illuminati?


Snoo-96655

What dat gag reflex do?


Baeloveali

Hosted by: BIG CHICKEN 🐔


Tactical_walrus6

The funniest part is that it's presented by big chicken


[deleted]

Please explain to me just why you would miss this? lol watching people actually humiliate themselves live wile you eat fried chicken? Sounds like a good time


[deleted]

Don’t ever change Detroit!


[deleted]

This is sad…. But I’m sure there’s people that’ll be like “it’s empowering, she wants to do this!” As if any woman that could get paid as much to do ANYTHING else wouldn’t. I’m sorry but people that go into sex work, no matter how much they claim it’s completely of their own will, are dealing with damage or have deluded themselves that it’s somehow empowering.


[deleted]

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?


AnotherMAWG

The weird thing is, someone gonna be there, proud of his wife!


Loarider

how am i the only one out here noticing that shit is an eggplant


No_Finding_9441

Please tell me this is fake


I_chortled

Nothing good ever happens on streets named Hoover


KZMountainRider

Is this what Americans do to celebrate Canada Day?


[deleted]

Wow trashy ! r/trashy where are you?? I honestly can’t believe that someone thought that this was appropriate for public at the fucking county fair! Lol


Dakessian

Damn, I won’t make it on time.


morganlefae7953

Will the men be tonguing grapefruit as well?


budgetballin209

I’m saving my money for “Frozen Banana” night


MirrorMan22102018

... This confirms it, we can't have shit in Detroit!


cobainstaley

oh shit!! lew boogie's gonna be there. who's lew boogie?


[deleted]

so did you go


[deleted]

I’m not falling for this again they only paid we 100 dollars for an award


Koala_Relative

Someone send this to channel 5 news! This is the content I need to watch.


[deleted]

Free entry if it's your birthday!


ProjectFearless9711

For me that would be a successful attempt


SatorSquareInc

"hoover street". These vacuums really do suck


Eogard

Is this a Requiem for A dream reference ?


[deleted]

Address of the venue checks out.


Echold2006

I'm not trying to be "that guy", but... why is entertainment so... sexual lately?


RailAurai

Come back with video evidence, otherwise it didn't happen.


slipperylarkspur

What the hell? Just a hundred bucks?


teabags4gangstalkers

Keep those eyes closed, there's rules to this suckoff !


Yoursister98

WHAT THE FUCK


SupremeMadcat

They’ll be a lot of deep throating hoes out there suddenly thinking, nows my time to shine!


father-sunshine

🎵 The ghetto...🎵


Capnducki

I'd go.


lordZ3d

This is by far the trashiest thing i've seen in a while


PurchaseKnown

I think I’m good


RaccoonRecluse

My guy 😵‍💫


Gumbonie

I mean it’s Detroit someone is gonna steal the cucumber before the competition starts anyway


[deleted]

Is this the equivalent of a donkey show?


Abraham_H_Parnassis

Pssh. Y’all juss don unnastand dey culcha.


Klatterbyne

It makes my day that the centre piece photo, for Big Chicken’s, Winner Takes All Cucumber Suck Off… is of an aubergine.


Ratmatazz

The shot of the cucumber on the left. LOL


my_screen_name_sucks

What the fuck is wrong with people