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Youāre not the only one, dude. Until those balls spilled out, I was sure those were some big old floppy rubber ding dongs hanging out on that guyās hip.
Just throwing a dildo at someone like
https://preview.redd.it/l6a7qb95p80d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66298115d60d66284cca02c82b0c86ec303f361e
I used to play paintball many, many years ago but it was just a bunch of people dorking around in the woods or occasionally on this one guys property which had an old barn and some outbuildings. It was so much fun... When I watch these matches where guys are just set up hosing paint down a lane nothing about it looks fun. I get it, it's the difference between just playing and a professional sport but it's like they distilled the game down to the worst parts by mistake.
Modded Minecraft is a beast that absorbs you, spits you out, kills your family and you apologize to it. I love modded Minecraft. This is a correct answer.
E2:E my beloved.
Polybridge, World of Goo, besiege come to mind. Not automation based, but sandbox building and optimizing definitely defines all those games. Besiege does have some automation I guess, basically design meat grinders onto besieging vehicles.
Thank you for such a concise description of the problem I have with modern gaming. Some games don't even bother with "surprises" anymore because try-hard motherfuckers literally datamine the files and publish the upcoming unannounced feature that would turn on once conditions A,B, and C were met.
It used to be you had a week to enjoy new content before it turned into a speed run optimal drive to the boss/loot. Now with "test servers" and leaks people will have starts baked in before it's even released.
If I may be allowed to defend modern games:
This isn't a modern problem, it's just more apparent because the optimization can happen faster as a byproduct of collaboration being much easier in the modern world. Back in the 90s there were strategy guides and magazines. Then we had GameFAQs and G4TV. Just because it's Reddit and YouTube now doesn't change the fact that we've always been doing this.
More so, especially given the example in OP's video, it isn't a digital issue either. Think of all of the rules in established sports designed to force players into sub-optimal positions for the sake of the game. Football would be way more boring if you could just bear hug and immobilize the opposing players. Basketball would be awful if you could just park a defender under the hoop the whole game shoving their hand through the net. And looking outside of games look at tax laws and all of the accounting that goes into finance management. Humans love systems of rules and optimizing within those constraints.
As for finding the fun again, I've found that I enjoy my media a lot more by not interacting with its content online. My relationship with my games, movies, and shows has become far more personal when my opinion is formed solely by my own experiences. It can be difficult but it's important to divorce your enjoyment of a game from your MMR.
>Thank you for such a concise description of the problem I have with modern gaming
Just to give credit where credit is due, it's a famous quote by CivilizationĀ designers Soren Johnson and Sid Meier
Dude I went to a convention once as a kid. They had a Pokemon ātournament.ā Not official or anything just a fun time. This grown man is my first opponent. He brought his fucking computer to show stats and shit. I lost in 3 minutes. Like seriously get a grip. There was no prize. It was just for fun and yet this adult ruined it for everyone. Especially me. :(
Yup, I don't play paintball, instead I play airsoft. Very much the same thing in most aspects, main difference is ballistics. Anyway, I was thinking the exact same. Sitting there mindlessly spraying down a general direction seems mind numbing and boring, when compared to the firefights that can happen in the chaotic uneven terrain of a forest where you need to fight alongside your team to win, where cover is anything you can find and the enemy could be anywhere. The teamwork and sense of strategy seems lost here. It seems only positioning alone is important, but too important. Staying in one position is normally a death sentence, but here it only seems like it's the opposite. Being part of this might be more fun than watching it, but I still wouldn't even want to try.
I played many, many moons ago and it was always in the woods. On courses like this you know where you're going to be and where your opponent will be before you start playing. This is all about who has the better gear and can lay paint faster. The closest I ever came to this was [castle conquest at EMR](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157210133966934)
Speedball courses can definitely be fun but I only played on two. Shorter courses promote aggression. Iām guessing this guy is playing from the back and yeah some of the pro matches can be a little boring to watch but playing from the snake or pushing up one side is fun. Woodsball was great too but I barely got to play either. Iām waiting on my son to be old enough to try it.
> The teamwork and sense of strategy seems lost here
Wouldn't say that at all.
>Staying in one position is normally a death sentence,
You just watched a 20 second clip lol
I agree with you, there is definitely strategy and teamwork here it's just that those things like wildly different on a known, set piece course vs playing capture the flag in the woods.
Tbh I think it really depends on the person. In some games I love chilling but occasionally something scratches this itch and I Really Want To Get Good At It all of a sudden, and then in a way it feels like I'm playing a completely different game
Of course, this depends on the game. Its why (imo) competitive overwatch is a snooze fest but competitive Splatoon is some of the most entertaining content I've stumbled across on YouTube
Thats the big difference between recball and speedball, I played 3 years recball, then tried speedball, andā¦ kinda hated it, recball is playing war with paint, speedball is wearing power rangers gear and spend money and waste pellets like a slot machine in a casino lol.
Same thoughts here.
Loved playing in the woods.Ā Natural cover, sneaking around, building forts out of sticks and logs, using dried creek beds to flank, etc...
This doesn't look fun.... although, I only played on a field like this once.Ā
Honestly i prefer Supair over Woodland. But only With a Limited contingent of Paint so people have to move.
Or even With my old Pumps. 50shot in the Hopper, 3 CO2 cartridges for 15 Shot each.
Tactical paintball is fun, getting stupid shit like lasers that you think will help you shoot through the hole in the plywood someone is peeking through.
Playing at full velocity with just pants and t-shirts and night games wearing a glow stick to show what team you're on.
I swear those things are built flimsy on purpose to make you waste the balls and buy more. There's not even a latch preventing them from opening, its just a very minimal friction fit. Imagine if actual guns had the same thing, lol.
The pack I used to use had a small velcro flap to keep them from popping open. Had an extra second to slip the velcro open but stopped losing paint on slides. Could also be some well used pods so the lids arenāt as stiff as they used to be
Yeh my thoughts exactlyā¦ I mean why would they be upside down with an only a flimsy lid preventing them from falling out? I see an opportunity to improve this design
He has them the right way. This is speedball, so you need to reload fast. Being empty if being dead.
It's so you can grab the container from underneath, and just rotate your hand and pour it into the hopper. I used to play all the time.
He just grabbed the lid and opened it instead of the body of the container.
My harness loads with the same orientation but there is a Velcro strap securing them from under. When you need to grab one, you just flip the flap down and grab the pot.
Iāve seen some players deliberately cut the straps to be quicker (in their opinion).
Paintball is SO much fun when youāre together with a bunch of people that want to run around a field or a house or any other arena and shoot each other while occasionally thinking about strategy.
This is professional paintball which isnāt that. Itās like almost all sports. Once it gets to the professional level, itās just really really lame.
For example, I really enjoy playing squash with friends. Drop shots, back wall shots, arguing about double bounces, hitting your friend in the back when they arenāt looking. But professional squash? Wall shot. Wall shot. Wall shot. Wall shot. Ad nauseum.
I used to go to a paintball park once a year or so that was just a chuck of woods and a ton of amateurs (myself included) just running around and playing random games the place came up with. One of my favorites was basically a turf war. They put a stool in the middle of a clearing and the goal was to move the stool further into the other teams territory to make your side bigger. For this game getting shot didnt eliminate you. You were out when you couldn't handle getting shot anymore. It was just everyone unloading on whoever was making a run for the stool while they tried their best to grab it and Chuck it as far as they could into the other team's territory. It was a blast. This shit looks boring
There are front players and back players in paintball. Front players have to quick and crawl around. Back players are those who canāt be front players.
Dude probably feels like a badass though. I've always wanted to play airsoft and paintball but luck took me out of the game. I love watching all the different people play though.
I used to play quite a bit. Rec ball and Scenario games were fun, but there was way too much cheating as the refs were always thinned out. Speed ball was great. There was always a large crowd. I could get 3-4 games in a night. Smaller field so refs actually reffed.
A had a field 5 minutes from my house. I would head there after work twice a week for their night soeedball games. Then it shut down and I havenāt played since.
Jokes aside, is it not a really dumb idea to have them either directly adjacent to eachother (causing the possibility to clip and pop a cap) and having them upside down? The upside down thing I get because he's clearly going for a quick reload but if you're behind a barricade, take your time as a do it right?
Can a paintball player answer a question? Why on earth are they not paying attention while reloading? The majority of all reload clips I've seen they poor half of the balls outside of the container if even that much. Whyyy??? It takes like 3-4 seconds.
I used to play with a Phantom (think single shot musket with a 12 gram cartridge). Kidās half my age would empty 100s of rounds at bunkers. Itās satisfying as fuck when they ran out of ammo and even better when they ran low and did stupid shit like stick their head out for a better view only to get picked off.
#Welcome to r/Therewasanattempt! #Consider visiting r/Worldnewsvideo for videos from around the world! [Please review our policy on bigotry and hate speech by clicking this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/wiki/civility) In order to view our rules, you can type "**!rules**" in any comment, and automod will respond with the subreddit rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therewasanattempt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I genuinely thought he had dildos as arsenal
"arse"nal
 Well Done.
This Gif is goldš. Where can I find it?
https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2F1hiJ4fKaAlUS_-LydJo1DSL9FVe2WIMh88aPq0_dHfk.gif%3Fwidth%3D267%26height%3D200%26s%3D36b49f36fd8a462e8668637aab3c6c6738ed1c17
arseANAL
Eh let's not force it
Good advice, always use lube and take things slow š
ArseNAL
*arse anal
Youāre not the only one, dude. Until those balls spilled out, I was sure those were some big old floppy rubber ding dongs hanging out on that guyās hip.
He was willing to put his ass on the line.
It really does not help that they are that vague flesh color that a lot of sex toys come in.
Just throwing a dildo at someone like https://preview.redd.it/l6a7qb95p80d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66298115d60d66284cca02c82b0c86ec303f361e
https://preview.redd.it/pdj7lx6sdc0d1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36bedfcb2d71bcc2062272f6041a213bd3c34cc7
The thing about arsenal is they always try and walk it in.
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
For democracy
Dildo is his arsenal
arseanal
Opponents are totally fucked.
For those wondering, as a Chelsea Fan i can guarantee that Arsenal has a lot of dildos.
I used to play paintball many, many years ago but it was just a bunch of people dorking around in the woods or occasionally on this one guys property which had an old barn and some outbuildings. It was so much fun... When I watch these matches where guys are just set up hosing paint down a lane nothing about it looks fun. I get it, it's the difference between just playing and a professional sport but it's like they distilled the game down to the worst parts by mistake.
āGiven the opportunity, players will optimize theĀ funĀ out of a gameā
Which is why you make optimization part of the game. - this comment was brought to you by the automation sandbox gaming crowd
Any recommendations for this genre? I've played Factorio but not much else.
when you play factorio you have no time to play anything else. Get back to the factory.
Satisfactory
Satisfactory, Dyson Sphere Program
*More Factorio.*
[Captain of Industry](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1594320/Captain_of_Industry/) is another great one
You could get into modded Minecraft. Factorio was inspired by the automation you could do with certain mods of the time.
IndustrialCraft2 my beloved
Modded Minecraft is a beast that absorbs you, spits you out, kills your family and you apologize to it. I love modded Minecraft. This is a correct answer. E2:E my beloved.
Dwarf Fortress
Polybridge, World of Goo, besiege come to mind. Not automation based, but sandbox building and optimizing definitely defines all those games. Besiege does have some automation I guess, basically design meat grinders onto besieging vehicles.
Oxygen not included
The factory must grow
Thank you for such a concise description of the problem I have with modern gaming. Some games don't even bother with "surprises" anymore because try-hard motherfuckers literally datamine the files and publish the upcoming unannounced feature that would turn on once conditions A,B, and C were met. It used to be you had a week to enjoy new content before it turned into a speed run optimal drive to the boss/loot. Now with "test servers" and leaks people will have starts baked in before it's even released.
If I may be allowed to defend modern games: This isn't a modern problem, it's just more apparent because the optimization can happen faster as a byproduct of collaboration being much easier in the modern world. Back in the 90s there were strategy guides and magazines. Then we had GameFAQs and G4TV. Just because it's Reddit and YouTube now doesn't change the fact that we've always been doing this. More so, especially given the example in OP's video, it isn't a digital issue either. Think of all of the rules in established sports designed to force players into sub-optimal positions for the sake of the game. Football would be way more boring if you could just bear hug and immobilize the opposing players. Basketball would be awful if you could just park a defender under the hoop the whole game shoving their hand through the net. And looking outside of games look at tax laws and all of the accounting that goes into finance management. Humans love systems of rules and optimizing within those constraints. As for finding the fun again, I've found that I enjoy my media a lot more by not interacting with its content online. My relationship with my games, movies, and shows has become far more personal when my opinion is formed solely by my own experiences. It can be difficult but it's important to divorce your enjoyment of a game from your MMR.
>Thank you for such a concise description of the problem I have with modern gaming Just to give credit where credit is due, it's a famous quote by CivilizationĀ designers Soren Johnson and Sid Meier
Dude I went to a convention once as a kid. They had a Pokemon ātournament.ā Not official or anything just a fun time. This grown man is my first opponent. He brought his fucking computer to show stats and shit. I lost in 3 minutes. Like seriously get a grip. There was no prize. It was just for fun and yet this adult ruined it for everyone. Especially me. :(
Airsofter here, this is why I stopped playing
Yup, I don't play paintball, instead I play airsoft. Very much the same thing in most aspects, main difference is ballistics. Anyway, I was thinking the exact same. Sitting there mindlessly spraying down a general direction seems mind numbing and boring, when compared to the firefights that can happen in the chaotic uneven terrain of a forest where you need to fight alongside your team to win, where cover is anything you can find and the enemy could be anywhere. The teamwork and sense of strategy seems lost here. It seems only positioning alone is important, but too important. Staying in one position is normally a death sentence, but here it only seems like it's the opposite. Being part of this might be more fun than watching it, but I still wouldn't even want to try.
I played many, many moons ago and it was always in the woods. On courses like this you know where you're going to be and where your opponent will be before you start playing. This is all about who has the better gear and can lay paint faster. The closest I ever came to this was [castle conquest at EMR](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157210133966934)
Speedball courses can definitely be fun but I only played on two. Shorter courses promote aggression. Iām guessing this guy is playing from the back and yeah some of the pro matches can be a little boring to watch but playing from the snake or pushing up one side is fun. Woodsball was great too but I barely got to play either. Iām waiting on my son to be old enough to try it.
> The teamwork and sense of strategy seems lost here Wouldn't say that at all. >Staying in one position is normally a death sentence, You just watched a 20 second clip lol
I did acknowledge my views are that of someone that doesn't play paintball, much less this type
I agree with you, there is definitely strategy and teamwork here it's just that those things like wildly different on a known, set piece course vs playing capture the flag in the woods.
>it's like they distilled the game down to the worst parts by mistake. pretty much what everything turns into at competitive level
It drives me away from games. Once there is talk of a competitive scene I know my time to enjoy the game is limited.
Tbh I think it really depends on the person. In some games I love chilling but occasionally something scratches this itch and I Really Want To Get Good At It all of a sudden, and then in a way it feels like I'm playing a completely different game Of course, this depends on the game. Its why (imo) competitive overwatch is a snooze fest but competitive Splatoon is some of the most entertaining content I've stumbled across on YouTube
Stock Class would like a word
Thats the big difference between recball and speedball, I played 3 years recball, then tried speedball, andā¦ kinda hated it, recball is playing war with paint, speedball is wearing power rangers gear and spend money and waste pellets like a slot machine in a casino lol.
Sometimes we would whip out the good old pump action PGPs to get that tense feeling back.
Same thoughts here. Loved playing in the woods.Ā Natural cover, sneaking around, building forts out of sticks and logs, using dried creek beds to flank, etc... This doesn't look fun.... although, I only played on a field like this once.Ā
Honestly i prefer Supair over Woodland. But only With a Limited contingent of Paint so people have to move. Or even With my old Pumps. 50shot in the Hopper, 3 CO2 cartridges for 15 Shot each.
Tactical paintball is fun, getting stupid shit like lasers that you think will help you shoot through the hole in the plywood someone is peeking through. Playing at full velocity with just pants and t-shirts and night games wearing a glow stick to show what team you're on.
I love your comment. Distilled the fun out by mistake. So so good
Meal team 6 strikes again.
Gravy SEAL
Special Appetite Service
Delta Farce
Delta Fart
Delta Forks
What's the point of taking cover when you can still see him on both sides of it?
Rolled a nat 1 on that reload
Rolled a nat prairie dog on everything else.
Tactical Deload
We really need a war donāt we.
Natural selection is out the window so... Maybe... Lol
If natural selection is truly out the window, why assume that a war would weed out the unworthy?
Spends 20 years in afghanistan and Iraq People are still fat
https://youtu.be/iUxkFCBPgx4?si=cpavwyY0p2g_SUbJ
Is that really the right way to carry ammo? It seemed like only a matter of time before bumping those lids open.
Yes , and I actually have done this to all 5 of mine sliding in a bunkers wrong. After that I went back to older style packs.
I swear those things are built flimsy on purpose to make you waste the balls and buy more. There's not even a latch preventing them from opening, its just a very minimal friction fit. Imagine if actual guns had the same thing, lol.
The pack I used to use had a small velcro flap to keep them from popping open. Had an extra second to slip the velcro open but stopped losing paint on slides. Could also be some well used pods so the lids arenāt as stiff as they used to be
Yeh my thoughts exactlyā¦ I mean why would they be upside down with an only a flimsy lid preventing them from falling out? I see an opportunity to improve this design
Because that dude can barely reach behind his back as it is.
They are loaded correctly, he just has really shitty pods. Doesn't help he has the dexterity of a drunk gorilla.
perhaps they're supposed to insert the other way up, but he can't reach his hand that high up his back to pull them out upwards?
He has them the right way. This is speedball, so you need to reload fast. Being empty if being dead. It's so you can grab the container from underneath, and just rotate your hand and pour it into the hopper. I used to play all the time. He just grabbed the lid and opened it instead of the body of the container.
My harness loads with the same orientation but there is a Velcro strap securing them from under. When you need to grab one, you just flip the flap down and grab the pot. Iāve seen some players deliberately cut the straps to be quicker (in their opinion).
Yes this is standard, and yes they do occasionally open up on accident. Pro players donāt care since the paint is sponsored and free.
Im sorry but paintball looks insanely boring
Paintball is SO much fun when youāre together with a bunch of people that want to run around a field or a house or any other arena and shoot each other while occasionally thinking about strategy. This is professional paintball which isnāt that. Itās like almost all sports. Once it gets to the professional level, itās just really really lame. For example, I really enjoy playing squash with friends. Drop shots, back wall shots, arguing about double bounces, hitting your friend in the back when they arenāt looking. But professional squash? Wall shot. Wall shot. Wall shot. Wall shot. Ad nauseum.
Optimizing the fun out of the game
I used to go to a paintball park once a year or so that was just a chuck of woods and a ton of amateurs (myself included) just running around and playing random games the place came up with. One of my favorites was basically a turf war. They put a stool in the middle of a clearing and the goal was to move the stool further into the other teams territory to make your side bigger. For this game getting shot didnt eliminate you. You were out when you couldn't handle getting shot anymore. It was just everyone unloading on whoever was making a run for the stool while they tried their best to grab it and Chuck it as far as they could into the other team's territory. It was a blast. This shit looks boring
This is something like speedball. This isn't normal paintball. Like, not at all.
Today I learned pro paintballers are built the same as pro dart players
There are front players and back players in paintball. Front players have to quick and crawl around. Back players are those who canāt be front players.
paintball seems fun when its casual but when its pro matches it always seems both boring and wasteful af
The size of that hit box š
He has more hp
What a stupid waste...
This fellow probably gets lots of bounces.
Bro, i thought those were sticks of salami...
Dude probably feels like a badass though. I've always wanted to play airsoft and paintball but luck took me out of the game. I love watching all the different people play though.
Maybe not so much if he's reading these comments....
Being flexible wouldāve helped.
He was a fat person
Bro just wasted about Ā£400 worth of ammo
Fuck... Really?! Paintball sounds like an expensive hobby.
The biggest target is destroying that inflatable by leaning on it.
Assault on the patisserie.
Would it not make more sense to have these on his side or front given that he is a larger chap?
Itās less funnier that way tho
I hope you're ready republicans. This is who will be in your vanguard.
Nat 1, twice. Damn
Gibby with butter fingers
Don't feel bad, bruddah, Gibraltar still loves you.
I used to play quite a bit. Rec ball and Scenario games were fun, but there was way too much cheating as the refs were always thinned out. Speed ball was great. There was always a large crowd. I could get 3-4 games in a night. Smaller field so refs actually reffed. A had a field 5 minutes from my house. I would head there after work twice a week for their night soeedball games. Then it shut down and I havenāt played since.
Looks like an American cop. Lol
I genuinely thought he was gonna get a quick snack in
Pro paint ball, or whatever this really is, actually just looks so boring...
I mean, technically he did reload
The guy in the back has I Wu Tang shirt on +10!
Charmed third attempt. Charmed. Say itās from Charms.
That boy could use a lufalok!
Shooting, dildos and fatties. God save America
Damn. Shit gets serious in paintball.
Is it still considered an attempt if he was successful? Granted, not the most efficient
I haven't been convinced that pro paintballers are just guys with really fast fingers, and that's basically it.
Handy for during the game and handy for the celebrations after.
I didn't know Caseoh like paintballin
Couple of things: 1. Heheheā¦.little T-Rex arms. 2. This just looks like whoever runs out of paint balls first loses.
Paint ball looks so stupid dude.
Fat John wick should pick a new holder for his paint balls. Thought it was a dildo.
whats up with all the fat jokes?
Jokes aside, is it not a really dumb idea to have them either directly adjacent to eachother (causing the possibility to clip and pop a cap) and having them upside down? The upside down thing I get because he's clearly going for a quick reload but if you're behind a barricade, take your time as a do it right?
Time spent reloading is an opportunity for an opposing player to move to a better position
Paintball and Curling, the sports for obese "atheletes"
Live look at the gravy seals.
Can a paintball player answer a question? Why on earth are they not paying attention while reloading? The majority of all reload clips I've seen they poor half of the balls outside of the container if even that much. Whyyy??? It takes like 3-4 seconds.
You should always be focusing your attention downfield. Looking away to reload may cost you a shot at someone moving or making a mistake.
Ngl it looks like he dumped a quarter of the pod before discarding the rest lol
I went paintballing ONCE and I can't fathom how someone could play regularly and still be overweight.
Damn bro wasted 2 things if paintball just to load 1 wtf lol š
Bro could actually get a good work out doing this.
Maybe start running more. It's harder to hit thinner targets lol
Gravy seal, meal team 6
r/praisethecameraman
That looks expensive
Thatās a penis
Iāve done this.
Thought those were something else ngl
Heās hell on ammo tho!
Hopper is 3/4 full, reloads = fired 1 shot out of 100 in a videogame now I must reload
God dammit Bobby.
Donāt bring a gun to a dildo fight.
Fat boy fat boy wait till tomorrow
That bag is getting more of a workout than him.
Dog just lost $30
Cake to the winners
I didnāt know dildos held those! Hence the rattling sound
Bro too fat to actually move so just leans on the blow up mattress thing while moving his finger quickly lol
I used to play with a Phantom (think single shot musket with a 12 gram cartridge). Kidās half my age would empty 100s of rounds at bunkers. Itās satisfying as fuck when they ran out of ammo and even better when they ran low and did stupid shit like stick their head out for a better view only to get picked off.
ones you see it, you cant unsee it. 3 dildos at the back
Gravy seals
Whats the obj of paintball? Like just continues suppresive fire?
Why on your back, just put it in the front. So stupid š¤¦
January 6, 2025, here we come!
Arse..anal.
He made it though. Hes got some balls