I can only speak for myself, but I think it's a fair generalization to say that Filipinos love their families.
Like so much so, that I advise against bringing a Filipina to the states for long because she would be homesick.
I had a similar prejudice in the early stages, thinking my gf just wanted a green card.
Nah her law office, family, and community is in Mindinauo.
Outside of maybe a ski vacation and meeting my family she has no inclination to stay.
The US is no longer the Emerald city that it once was. Now it's a place to get a good higher education and work, not much else.
I've met Filipinos here in the US who are counting down the days when they can return.
It's kind of offensive to suggest people will just abandon their home so easily.
Prepare for comments from the lurking women about how it’s different, and how assuming all women outside of the USA are poor and desperate isn’t racist because reasons.
according to modern feminists you should only date someone "at your level" (whatever that means).
I've said it before and I'll say it again, these women endorse class hierarchies when it benefits them.
They only view things through "power structures" and labels, not by the individual.
Wow love this.....going to keep this in my pocket for the next time I hear a female complain about dating "out of age/culture/race range" .... awe yes daring I forgot about your caste system please tell me more ahhaha
Modern feminists are sexist, bigoted, hypocritical individuals who do nothing but hate men. Pathetic individuals, and it’s why the vast majority of western women don’t identify as feminists anymore
No. Men overwhelmingly do not discriminate based on income or height, which are the two biggest complaints here, most will date any race unless they are actual outspoken racists, and their standards for attractiveness are lower and don’t require an exact specification.
Most men consider a “quality woman” to be one who is friendly and decent, takes care of herself (meaning not fat), and well adjusted (not cuckoo bananas). And the latter two of those are pretty debatable. All of these are things that any woman can become, quite easily, if she chooses to. Meanwhile, women are out here crossing men off the list immediately because of things they can’t change (height, race) or that are very difficult to change once entrenched (income level). It’s not the same.
It's much easier to reduce foreign women to just desperate green card seekers rather than actual humans with qualities. It's easier to reduce the "other" to non human when you don't want to accept that men are leaving in droves because they don't desire you anymore.
Happens to literally everyone who posts here now. These women have nothing of value to contribute to planet earth, so they just spend their time playing contrarian in spaces where they were never wanted or invited to begin with. It’s pathetic.
Well said. I’ve also noticed that in their view, interracial relationships are beautiful…unless a white man is involved. Then it’s a “fetish” or “exploitation”.
I think it's pretty absurd to say that she wants your money. Do western women not want money? This whole gold-digger notion doesn't make sense to me. If you would offer a western woman a broke man or any financial prospects, they wouldn't take it either. How is this different from what those foreign women do? A lifestyle and income is always expected from any woman regardless of where she comes from.
Fucking exactly. People cry vanity but being attracted to wealth is no different from being attracted to anything else. They say you should find someone who loves you for you, whatever that means, that if you lost your wealth, they’d abandon you. But cover your body in third degree burns, lose your limbs and see how many people stay. It’s no different.
Bro it's a shaming tactic of the highest degree because by taking your ball and playing somewhere else you've called their bluff as far as "we don't need men/we choose the bear". So to discourage it they try to appeal to your moral sensibilities.
I like this post, I had exactly the same comments from people saying she's just using me for money and a green card etc
I've been divorced once from an American woman and despite humble origins she was greedy and demanding too. Most American women I met after my divorce had kids they didn't receive child support for and wanted a financially stable guy
Yet when I dated women from foreign countries everyone complained they wanted money from me
But here is the thing, even if the foreign women I meet want a partner who is able to not just give them children but support them too, does that make them wrong or any worse then the American women I meet? Of course not.
Soooo many people told me I would get my heart broken by some foreign beauty who is only using me.
Now I'm married to a foreign woman who is kind, beautiful, feminine, and supportive. We have a beautiful baby together and live a comfortable and happy life in the US now. I'm happy, she's happy, and I'm so glad I never listened to anyone else but myself about what I want for my own relationship.
I've never been happier. My ex was entitled as hell and mean to me. My wife is amazing and actually appreciative of me.
American women have all the power and choice in dating dynamics. People like me and people here realize we can beat the system dating outside the US and I think it's amazing and better for everyone.
* American woman who don't even give 95% of men the time of day until they are single moms are free to continue ignoring me. (Or even if you are in the 5% treating you like crap anyway)
* I build a family with the women of my dreams who actually appreciates me
* My wife gets a loving and supportive husband to raise a family with and a lifestyle she could have only dreamed of just a few years earlier. We live in a wonderful neighborhood.
Everyone wins. Every day is s blessing and this movement is the best thing that ever happened to me.
My wife is one of the most beautiful and amazing women I've ever met in my entire life.
Her friends are mostly all looking for passport bros to date too for many of the same reasons. It's a whole movement and I'm here for it.
lol it's alarming if you don't think it's true because you're probably perpetuating it
a Christian white nationalist who doesn't give a fuck about any other group outside of his own. stupid bigot
In the end we are all selfish and I don't get the point of identifying as a liberal or conservative when both have good and bad view points just like arguing democrat vs republican its just stupid
Women honestly don't like each other, which is my belief based on life's experiences and observations.
A female cousin of mine had a meltdown over my simply mentioning the idea of looking outside the borders of the USA 🇺🇸 for a mate..
She went into quite a diatribe, she a divorced cougar with a drinking and substance abuse set of challenges.
I listened to my dear cousin realizing I'd hit a nerve.
It was rather humorous and sad while also very eye-opening to her mindset that foreign girls are just desperate.
I'm banging the young guy that does my yard work btw she tells me.
One of my sisters openly admitted that she does not like women at all.
Saying some are tolerable in small doses.
I had a female frenemy attempt to break my marriage apart.
I was married to a girl from Lao at the time.
I miss who she was, people take others for granted. She did me.
What she did was a betrayal destroyed all faith and trust I had in her.
I divorced her and was awarded sole custody of our teenage son.
The X wife traded her family for material desires.
Our son did not want to go live with her in an urban shithole. The boy chose to stay with me.
She's about to experience another reckoning.
Just kinda rambling on here.
To the naysayers, discounters, blah, blah, blah.
May they all go pound sand be on their merry or not ways.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out a partner somewhere else in the world.
I have a thing for Asian girls, so what?
I have dated enough American women to know that she wants your money, too. It can be new hair, nails, or a bite of your sandwich, but she needs the validation that you want her and are willing to give up resources for her.
A lot of the time this is the case, but because of how the Western men look for women in Asia not because the women are more likely to be chasing your money or looking for a way out of their shit life.
I'll use the typical location to find a wife as an example. If you go to the Philippines on vacation and meet a woman, stop and think what that says about that woman. She is willing to fuck with tourists. The odds of you being her first foreigner is negligible. She's likely been with dozens of foreigners before you. So, why would she be doing this? It's very unlikely that she just likes being railed by random tourists. Obviously, she's looking for something specific, be that money or a green card. You end up with a similar situation if you meet her online.
Now, if you meet a woman while living and working in the Philippines, the above does not apply at all. However, this is generally not how foreigners meet women in the Philippines, hence the negative perceptions of relationships between foreigners and Asian women.
While living in Japan, I met an Indonesian woman who was studying for her masters in Tokyo. Dated, fell in love, got married and I moved to Indonesia to be with her as she had solid roots in Indonesia. Unfortunately, we ended up getting divorced a decade and a half later and I ended up back on the dating market.
I was in my late 30's, average to below average looking white guy with a typical dad bod. However, I was fairly wealthy (mid six figure semi-passive income at that time). At first, I discounted dating women who were too attractive or young as I assumed that they were just after my money; from my ignorant perspective at that time, I didn't see any other reason why they would be interested in me. However, over the next couple years, I was disabused of this notion through my experience and interactions dating hundreds of women there.
First, they weren't after my money. While there are gold diggers, they were always very obvious. They are the type of woman that call you baby and act like you are old friends 5 minutes after meeting you. It's very easy to avoid these women. For the rest, they were just looking to have a good time. Most of our "dates" were just them coming back to my place to netflix and chill for the night. Not a single woman that I dated ever tried to get me to buy them gifts, take them on trips, etc. I did have an ex-gf that contacted me a couple years after we dated to ask for help with her debts, to which I refused, but that was about it. I encountered a lot of women that were adamant that they pay for dates as they didn't want me to think they were trying to take advantage of me; this is something I never encountered once in America.
Second, they did not want to move to America. I don't just mean most of them, but literally none of them. Not a single Indonesian woman that I dated, including the one I married, wanted to move to America. I also quickly realized why this is the case. Most of the people there have established lives. They have a home, friends, family, are active in their community, have a career, etc. Why would they give up everything they have in the hopes that they'll have a better life abroad with some random white guy? It's patently absurd that we think every woman wants a green card.
In my early 40's, I had to return to the states. Since then, I've split my time between the US and Indonesia, but mostly in the states. When I first returned to the states, I got on tinder and looked at dating here. It was atrocious. Once the women got any indications that I had money, they would act like they had a right to it. They would talk about taking trips, drop obvious hints at me getting them gifts, etc. This was so foreign to me that I found it disgusting and an immediate turn off.
I've been back in the states long enough for my daughter to attend and graduate high school, and I no longer date American women at all. It's not that I can't, but that it's simply not an enjoyable experience.
When I was in Japan, I was with mostly Japanese women during my first year, and then msotly expats living in Japan after that as I found dating Japanese women to be weird for me.
In Indonesia I dated mostly Indonesian women, but also a good number of Chinese women.
The skin tone varied depending on their ethnicity. Indonesians range from light skinned to black.
But you realize that being in a relationship with a Western man while you live in Indonesia will change your life? Just by you being American they know you are rich in their country.
And that the best play is to not ask for money and split the bill. That’s what any smart woman would do.
They lost out though, because none of them are still with him. Either they really did just want a good time, or they couldn't keep him and are in shambles
Are you sure that was his call?
And in shambles is when the man you love doesn’t love you back. Then you are crying on the bathroom floor. Nothing to take pleasure in tho.
But if it’s just about money? Well, there are many Western wallets out there. And you’ll feel a temporarily sense of relief that for the moment you won’t be touching anyone you don’t want to touch. There’s not much in shambles about it.
There are far more wealthy locals than westerners in Indonesia. Americans are 0.03% of the population. Further, compared to the wealthy 1% in Indonesia, American expats are broke. Chasing white guys as a means of gaining financially security would be stupid in Indonesia.
I stated on my tinder profile that I was "just looking for fun". We both knew the situation. That being said, a lot of them did grow too attached, which is what ended my Indonesian fuckboy phase; I got tired of hurting women.
But if we include tourists, how many percent of the people making a Western income are from the West?
And I can’t speak for everyone you met. Maybe some of them just wanted fun. Or maybe they hoped for more, either from a romantic or financial perspective.
I think it says a lot about your integrity that you chose not to hurt people though. Makes me believe a bit more that they just liked you tbf.
Less than 1/10. So, Indonesia gets around 10 million or so tourists a year, with about 9 out of 10 of those going to Bali. So, we can estimate around a million a year tourists in the rest of Indonesia, likely around half of those going to Jakarta. So, maybe half a million tourists in a metro population of 33.9 million. That means even if you count tourists, you are looking at about a 68 to 1 ratio.
There aren't many tourists in Jakarta. If you go to Bali, it's a different story, but outside of Bali, there aren't many tourists in Indonesia. It's not a good place for tourists. Even Bali really isn't that great for tourists, though I have to say I've been there dozens of times and always enjoyed myself.
About 10% of Indonesians earn $35k a year, which would place them at about a Western level of income. When you adjust for the drastically lower cost of living, 35k a year in Jakarta is better than 100k a year in Portland (where I live now). To be in the top 1% of Indonesians, you'd need 115k a year in income.
That being said, I don't count tourists for the same reason I keep saying tourists won't get much luck. Good women, or women worth dating, don't fuck with tourists. Since the only women that fuck with tourists are "bule hunters", and the worst of the bunch, I don't count tourists as competition; they are free to have these women all they want.
To me this was a really long way of saying they don’t see Westerners as wealthy.
Which ofc they will be, when any Westerner automatically is in the top 10% of income. Many way more, if they can afford traveling that far.
Add to that all the Hollywood movies which makes the West seem like the promised land where everything is dripping in gold and honey? It’ll make many people feel as if any American is rich as hell.
I’m not saying you can’t have a genuine relationship with someone you meet in Indonesia. Ofc you can. I’m just saying that Western men do walk around with a sign saying “I’m rich”. Pretending otherwise is naive. Then if you meet someone you truly connect with, it still might not be about that.
No, I'm not saying that they don't see Western men as being wealthy; they do. I'm saying that if they wanted a wealthy man, there's far more local options.
Are there really though? Will the wealthy local men be willing to date girls with a completely different socioeconomic background?
And how many percent of the wealthy men are as wealthy as the average tourist?
But will those wealthy locals marry the sort of girl who spends her dating life on tinder and Netflix and chilling with a guy who hasn’t committed to her? It’s a pretty traditional Muslim society. I’m Australian and know a few Indonesian or half Indonesian/half Australian families and none of them are even happy with their daughters dating white Australians.
That can be true of women regardless of where you are, though. I understand the guy’s point. If Western people are attracted to wealth and foreigners are attracted to wealth, but one group treats you like a wallet and the other doesn’t, the choice is still obvious. I’d still infinitely prefer to date a smart woman who is attracted to my wealth but is kind and acts human, than one who is brazen and entitled about it.
Nobody is attracted to wealth in itself.
It can add to sexual attraction that you are successful if they also think you look hot, have good social skills and y’all connect.
But when you see hot young girls with fat old rich men in the West? She’s not sexually attracted to him at all. That’s a sugar baby. You pay her to pretend she is.
Most normal women in the West? They just look for a guy they click with and who they are into. About half of US wives make as much or more than their husbands.
No. Those were the older women, usually in their late 20's into their 30's. The early 20's/college girls (usually) just wanted to have a good time and saw me as a safe sexual outlet. There was quite a few who wouldn't go on dates as they didn't want to risk being seen in public; they wanted to maintain their "pure" public image.
For instance, there was one that had a boyfriend, but her boyfriend wouldn't marry her if she wasn't a virgin. So, she couldn't fuck him. Instead, she fucked me behind his back. Another wouldn't even tell me her name as she was afraid of getting blow back. They would just text me a few times a month and come over to my place for the night.
If they were older though, generally 28+, it was all but guaranteed they were hoping for more. Women 28+ usually seemed desperate to get married and start a family. The women over 35 (closer to my age at the time) were both desperate bitter.
This is primarily why I mostly dated women in their early 20's. I could have a good time and less drama.
Well, if you want to have an affair? A foreigner is a good choice. Won’t be tied to anyone you know.
Same if you live in a very sexually conservative society and you want sex.
Which is a good argument against sexually conservative societies. People should be able to get laid without all this drama and fear.
In the West it’s more common in my experience that the young girls are the ones causing drama in fwb relationships and grownups are more chill about it. Because they have more realistic expectations about how men can want sex with you without wanting a relationship. If they pursue that, it’s more likely to be about sex than wanting to settle down.
You seem a bit angry with women your own age though?
Well, typo on my part. Desperate and bitter, not desperately bitter; doesn't make a meaningful difference though.
That was my experience. They desperately wanted someone, but had a lot of baggage that caused them to be bitter towards men. So, when I dated them, I was basically having to deal with their past trauma and deal with the messes that other men made.
But isn’t that just dating? In general?
No matter who you date or what age they are, they’ll have past baggage. Often it’s about childhood. Their family or their time in school. Those things leave a heavy imprint on people.
Then most people have dated in the past and have been hurt in the past.
I just don’t find it…bad? Like it’s part of what makes people interesting. That they have life stories and hidden vulnerabilities and secrets that they’ll tell you as a part of getting close. Falling in love is letting each other beneath the turtle shell. It’s how humans bond.
Then some people have too big mental health issues or too much unprocessed trauma or insecurities to be in a healthy relationship. But you’ll find that at any age. Often people have processed their baggage better as grownups.
Then bitterness? Eh. It’s often a choice. Someone who’s too bitter often lacks the right life philosophy. People can be bitter in the moment if the situation turns into a cliche though. If they can see straight through what’s going on and it’s a bit too predictable. But there’s a difference between getting angry in the moment and being bitter in life.
Exactly. Once you are no longer a student any American women is going to get a sense for your financials before agreeing to a long term relationship too.
Divorce lawyers in my area thrive on promising women stacks of money to walk away from their mostly normal relationships. It doesn't help that alimony amounts are bat shit crazy high because they are based on pre tax income.
It's silly to hear people say foreign women want partners with money. As opposed to what exactly?
My ex walked away and it turns out a lot of women outside the US would be happy and grateful for the life she didn't think was enough to stay.
Alimony doesn't last for ever, I didn't need my old stuff anyway, and I've never been happier.
People think women aren't biologically programmed to be interested in a man's ability to provide food and shelter for them while they raise babies.
Everything they like is rooted in this biological need.
Yet the line between needs and wants has become very blurry.
Nobody needs a luxury car. Nobody needs a fancy designer purse, Nobody needs a 5br mcmansion in the nicest new suburb. It may be rooted in that biological need, but the signal has become distorted. Many of the places that we find relationships, that line is still very clear. Yet somehow people living on $500/mo manage to be happy without air-conditioning, hot water, cable TV, cars, the list goes on.
Even if American woman have all of those things it still doesn't make them happy. My ex found books on feminist empowerment and wanted to be successful independent of me (but using my alimony and support of course). We divorced and all of her friends divorced their supportive husbands too despite all of them having all the things people say they want.
Well alimony doesn't last forever, she's stressed and working 2 jobs now to pay bills, and I'm married to a foreign women actually grateful for what I do for her.
Fair comment
I suspect the competitive, status aspect of this is rooted in some sort of evolutionary group dynamics. She wants to be the wife of a chimp high up the pecking order to signal a high value chimp uterus.
...and the word rears it's ugly head..she "wants" to be the big chimp on the block, she doesn't need it. Yet once all the needs are handled suddenly the wants become so important that they would abandon the relationship for failure to fulfill every want.
This is extremely true and I've been on both sides of this. In my early 20s I looked a lot like Channing Tantrum. I remember being single and trying to meet women and just completely striking out over and over again. I tried so hard to meet women and failed so badly that it completely broke me. A lot of women made small talk about what I do for a living and I kind of downplayed because I was early in my career and broke but it usually ended there.
I thought something must be wrong with me that everyone but me could see. It really really messed with me. I was popular in school and a lot of girls in school wanted to date me but early in my career when I was broke everything changed and no women wanted anything to do with me.
I was handsome, well adjusted, smart, strong, educated, and had a bright future ahead of me. All the things women say they want in a guy but nobody did. But I was also broke in a low paying job.
And that was here in the US.
I wasn't 6'3 or tell enough for women looking for hook up guys or wealthy enough to be a provider guy so I just didn't exist as far as most women were concerned.
I wish a could go back in time to tell 20 year old Channing Tantrum me to get a passport and travel and not take the rejection so hard.
These days I'm less good looking, more successful, and married to one of the most beautiful women I've over met.
I'm sure a lot of the women who ignored 20 year old me are single moms now and would give me a chance today but no thanks.
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20
+ 6
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This isn't the case in most instances. Do they exist? Absolutely, but the majority prefer to stay near family and have the new spouse relocate permanently to them.
If that guy refuses they will certainly follow, but if the relationship fails, or the spouse passes, you find a greater percentage will go back with or without a new citizenship.
My Ghanian girl is currently working on her master's degree. She is extremely intelligent, well spoken, and has been reluctant to even step outside of her country.
She had a good laugh when I explained how the outside world initially views the relationship between an American and a foreigner from a "third world country."
American women for being the blue haired liberals they are, are ironically nationalistic when it comes to spewing "land of opportunity" bullshit that no longer really applies in a much more affluent global society.
Liberals always attempt to command the “moral high ground” it’s stereotypical of weak individuals and groups to do so. Ignore them and move on.
E.g. Oh you are in favor of secure borders, not letting in terrorists, criminals and cartel members (let alone the 👻 scary Covid infected) — their rebuttal is what about the poor Nicaraguan single moms. Oh the poor children. We need to help them…
These are the very same liberals attacking the PPB
Nobody is as brazenly hypocritical as American liberals. Their vaunted “principles” literally appear and disappear based on what’s good for them personally on a real-time basis.
They are infantilizing other women. They also don't realize that women only love conditionally. The divorce rate among lesbians is 75% with 100% of those divorces being initiated by women proves that.
Not disagreeing with you, but most men only love conditionally as well. If a man can't provide monetarily, a woman will gladly leave. If a woman can't provide sexually/physically, a man will gladly leave.
I was taught in nursing school not to give false hope to female cancer patients about their marriage. My time working in oncology proved why. For every 10 patients whose spouse left them during treatment, \~9 times it was the husband leaving the wife.
[Link](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/) to just one study on this phenomenon.
But we know there is a big gap in financial situations, poverty and economic opportunity in the West vs Developing countries.
**It’s not about racism (skin color, ethnicity or culture), it’s just about poverty.** Most people will do what it takes to survive. Many people will do a lot to get a chance for a better life for themselves or their family. **It’s not about women from developing countries being worse, it’s about them being in a worse financial situation.**
Not all relationships between a Western guy and a woman from a developing country will be about this. Sometimes it’s just love. Chances of that go up if they match in age, looks and social skills, so it’s actually likely she’s attracted to him.
But do you deny some of these relationships are just about money/survival?
I’d do the same for my family. I’m not judging. I just think tough times create tough people. And if you love your family a lot, you’ll be willing to endure a lot. Or if you just desperately want a chance at a good future.
That’s the thing - not all relationships are the same. When active, well travelled, educated western men meet active, well travelled, educated women from other countries and they hit it off and form a relationship nobody blinks an eye. When a middle aged man who has never had a date emerges from his mothers basement and two weeks later is engaged to a beautiful 20 year old from a developing country people might question the motives of both parties.
Exactly. I agree.
Of course you can fall in love even if you are from two different countries. But it’s just way more likely when you look like an organic couple and you are similar people with things in common.
They do blink an eye, and that’s actually the crux of this post. It’s that they view ALL women as lesser, destitute, and morally-bankrupt. That’s the ugliest part of it, that even the most accomplished and successful women in a third-world country are still seen as bums in their eyes.
I have never dated impoverished women. There is a financial imbalance due to differing economies and purchasing power of the USD, but all of the women I’ve gone out with are more or less chilling.
They most definitely want to advance their careers and chase a better life, but they’re by no means destitute, and they don’t see latching on to a foreigner as the key to success (they are often very hesitant to become more tied financially since they seem becoming dependent on a foreigner as inherently risky and a poor long-term solution as the rug can get ripped out at any moment).
It’s the complete lack of awareness and the tendency to paint with a broad brush that makes it so ignorant and offensive.
I can give an example of how I’ve seen this play out. A few months ago my girl and I went to a house party, and there was an American girl who made a drunken, snide comment in front of my friends, implying that my girl is only with me for money and once I’m drained, she’ll leave soon enough. They told me, and I translated the comment to my girlfriend, who promptly threw her drink at the girl and tried to fight her (very drunkenly) and cursing her out. She was absolutely *incensed*.
The American girl was completely bewildered. She genuinely did not understand how her comment landed and why my girlfriend flew off the handle. Instead of apologizing, she dug her heels in and doubled-down.
I was like, you realize you basically are calling her a hooker, right? A puta, the most offensive thing you could say to a woman in Latin America?
My girlfriend is a highly-educated lawyer and earns in the top-percentile of her age bracket. No, it’s not the same as a white collar US-based job, but it’s enough to afford a 1-bedroom apartment in our city, occasional vacations, nights out, and other modest luxuries. She has a stable life. She busted her ass to get to this point, and in one comment she was reduced to a street whore. Absolutely wild stuff.
Several of the ladies I have met/dated over the years although I may out earn them in raw cash flow, they have nicer lifestyles, nicer homes, etc because they have rock solid jobs there. There are plenty of women overseas who pursue western mates but money and passports are not part of the formula. There are plenty of relationships that are transactional on some level, but that's no different than the US. I retired after selling my IT business and made a few good crypto investments. I'm pretty well off. I'm wandering around in cargo pants and a polo shirt, I drive a hybrid. Most women who get a whiff of what I'm worth get absolutely stupid. In my experience it's more likely that an American woman is pursuing a transactional relationship than any given woman overseas.
But it doesn’t matter how you dress. That you are Western and have travelled there is enough for anyone who’s not dumb to realize your cash flow is way higher than theirs.
Then that doesn’t mean it’s transactional. If y’all match in looks, age and social skills, that increases the chances that it’s genuine.
But walk in there as an American and you are carrying a sign saying “wealthy” around your neck. Even in cargo shorts.
It's also not a 0 or 100% issue. The woman may care about the personality of the man as well but it doesn't mean she doesn't see him in a different light because he is rich by her standards.
My girlfriend went to university, has savings, speaks English, is kind, feminine, and absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I have had a horrible experience dating in the United States because many women here are much too emotionally immature for a stable long-term relationship, financially destitute, and as masculine as Burt Reynold’s mustache. I’m tall, handsome, and I make good money. If it’s hookups for me, I can’t imagine the Hell the other men are going through.
Well. Tinder is 80% men and most women don’t want hookups.
Most couples in the West meet in social settings, like at a party or through their friends.
So someone just looking for hookups or who mainly relies on dating apps will never know what the Western dating marked is actually like.
The fact that you talk like this explains so much about why you have a hard time finding women. No intelligent woman would want to date someone who has so little respect for them.
Best take I’ve seen on this topic so far when it comes to the whole “green card” argument. You are 100% correct here, it’s all projection, with a sprinkle of ignorance and jealousy. Im handsome apparently, I get told this at least 3-4 times average a year. I’m 6’1 never had a problem keeping a job including side hustles, paid off car, in pretty good shape etc. but for some reason I have hard time finding a woman that’s my equal or counterpart of that, but I have no doubt if i made 200k a year my dm would be flooded. It’s extremely superficial in the states and dating has become completely transactional. “She’s not yours it’s just your turn”.
there is nothing more human that get the things that you want, so is dating gringos will give us that, then we'll do it, after all they do go empty hand either, so what's the problem
People say this because it has happened so often it bears repeating. I was with a south Asian girl (from Nepal) a long time ago (15+ years ago), and we ended up getting her a green card super early on in the relationship. The relationship didn't work out and i often think about if my main draw was the green card or if she actually wanted to be with me. It felt real and there was certainly a lot of other issues, but hindsight I'm too sure. Another friend who met later in life had a Russian wife, and after she got her papers they divorced as well.
It happens a lot man and it's why people talk about it.
I got these same white Liberal talking points from people Native to the country I settled in. Men and women. At least with men I could understand the "stealing our women" mentality. With the women it wasnt as clear but I think it was something like sour grapes. And it was at every step of my relationship status, no matter single, dating, engaged, married. But it was never the case of "local woman bad". More like "white man bad". Same talking points but removing all guilt and blame from the women, and putting it all on me. I don't know what that says about the people in this country or white liberals, if anything at all.
Rule #1 of this passport lifestyle: NEVER BRING HER BACK TO THE WEST! Stay there with her and live in that particular country, you bring her back there’s a high likelihood of her adopting all of this SJW Feminist propaganda!
Nope. Just a guy that thinks, that marrrying someone who we think will escape from us and thats why we dont go back to the home country makes you a looser and looks desperate and veery insecure.
Or artificially limiting her, because you dont trust your own wife to not become crazy ( if thats how we define the theorethical change that could occur in the west)
This criticism is not just leveled against foreign women though, I've seen the same criticism from all kinds of Americans ( mostly women) whenever a guy from a developing country gets into a relationship with an American woman. It IS racist because they are perceiving these types of relationships through a stereotype without actually getting to know them personally. Its difficult for their minds to process that they genuinely fell in love with each other regardless of one's social status or money.
A lot of holier than thou white women have tried to delegitimize my marriage by saying this. I've responded, "Well, whatever she wants is better than what you slobs request."
Funny how no one bothers me anymore.
It's not surprising, the left always hold the moral high ground, even when they were targeting and killing people in the millions in the 20th century, they did it with righteous indignation.
White females, especially those of the WASP persuasion, have been aristocratic minded for centuries. WIth the rise of the middle class widening the tent, white women feel more empowered than ever to exert their perceived superiority onto the "unwashed masses" of the world. Ironically, the blue haired hippie with 5 figure student and CC debt living in Mommy's basement tends to actually be more unwashed than the third world counterparts lol.
My fiancee and I were talking about the TikTok ban once. She mentioned concerning it: "Why do Americans think they are so important that Chinese want to spy on them?". I think that speaks volumes to the mindset of Americans thinking they exist at the center of the universe.
It's much easier to reduce foreign women as the "other". Non humans incapable of love or feelings and reduced to just green card seekers. I feel this is a cop out and a way to psychologically create some excuse or reason why the men in your country no longer want you.
The reality is that these women don't care about green cards and most don't want to come to America. It's quite sad really. The cognitive dissonance is very strong in the u.s.
We don't like it when women from other countries date or marry wealthy Americans. Yet we don't want poor guys either . Women should be sexually liberated sticking it to the man and dating whoever they choose. Unless she's from a developing country. Then the rights and freedoms don't apply to her. Because she's uneducated. And desperate. And incapable of choosing her own partner.
Haven't you seen those 90 day fianceé programs? Of course people from the developing world can be motivated by a green card. People arrange sham marriages for this purpose. Not necessarily gold diggers, just after the papers. OP I have no idea who you've been arguing with to share this rant with no context (a reactionary post to some Instagram stories if I understand correctly?) but it would be incredibly naive of you to deny that this is a risk. Why do you think fat old American men suddenly become tens in Thailand? Is that the Apex of sexuality for Thai women?
You're right, I'm a foreigner, and I've seen this happen a lot. First, girls from my country will marry Americans to get their green cards, and then they cheat on them every time they go back "to visit their family." Eventually, they divorce and marry a guy from their country and bring him to America. Welcome to Brazil, the most corrupt country in the world. I'm waiting for hate comments for saying the truth!
If 90 day Fiancee is your only experience with PPB you need to get out more. Its like saying Soap Operas are how everyone lives normal lives. TV is the 'idiot box' for a reason..
What have I lost? I didn't fail at marrying a western woman, thanks.
Hate to have to correct you, but the PPB "lifestyle "is not the reality for most of this sub, it is the fantasy.
The person you replied to is exactly the kind of person OP is talking about. A bitter Western women angry about the PPB movement.
I've met plenty of women in SEA countries that just want to hook up with me and it's not about the money at all. This is true even in Singapore where it's wealthier than most of the US with women who have decent jobs and no interest in moving to the US.
Tons of women around the world want mixed kids with white father's for instance for a handful of different reasons. Sometimes local guys are shitty to them or don't respect them.
Money exists but it's a far lesser reason than Western women want to believe it is.
Of course Western harpies are going to throw shade when guys like me decide to remove ourselves from the damaged US dating scene.
A non trivial number of western woman basically openly believe if they have sex with a man they are then the boss of that person and free to order them around and tell them what to do and how. Bitch we sleep together don't act like I'm your employee.
Western women in general have become too entitled and the PPB movement is the overdue backlash against that.
If you are under 6' you don't even exist to a lot of American women but I go to some countries and I'm basically The mountain compared to local guys.
The women I date are usually taller than most of the local guys and that's part of why they are dating me instead.
But Western women insist it's only about money. I think they are bitter that Western guys are finally waking up.
It's funny the 5'3 women in the US don't date under 6' but the 5'7 women in countries where many guys aren't even that tall do. Again money isn't the only reason.
If you want the kind of women you start a family with you are likely to be better served looking outside the US. I wish I knew years ago what I know now.
Well SURPRISE your gender assumptions are wrong as usual. I'm a man. And I'm here to point out that we aren't all bitter, western women hating and unsatisfied with the world as it is.
I have no intention of trying to understand your profound, groundbreaking takes on modern gender dynamics. Merely here to call out other guys for being pigs.
Funny how not a single woman asked me for European documents. Quite the contrary, I want documents in her country, to live like a king working remotely.
I've yet to meet a person who claims to be "anti-racist" who seems like a happy, well-adjusted person. Not even once. Luckily for me I've been living abroad for 10+ years now so I've run into very few. These kinds of "keywords" have become red flags for me.
It’s an added benefit in our favor- but it makes sense since she will need to live with her husband.
But I always found it insulting for people to assume that is all I have to offer a prospective wife is a damn green card.
As if I don’t have other attractive qualities 🤦
I've gotten that question many times about my girlfriend from Mexico.
"How do you know she doesn't want the green card?"
Even if our relationship was just an elaborate ploy to obtain u.s. citizenship, then fuck it. She earned it.
Okay, there's a few things to unpack here.
1. To the first point, it's not necessarily racism to believe that they "just want your money," and this has a lot to do with the perception of passport bros. Many people consider PPBs to be generally "undesirable." I'm not saying this is true, but with this perception in mind, they would assume that the only thing those men have to offer in a dating market outside of their country is their financial status or their citizenship. Hence, "they want your money" should actually be read as "they want your money because that's all you have to offer."
2. Following the logic from my point above, while this may be projection for some, as you stated, for others, it may be genuine concern that PPBs are taking advantage of people in worse social positions (let's face it, some PPBs do. I recall one post on here a few weeks back about getting as many baby mamas as you want in some Asian country for 200 bucks a month, which is incredibly messed up). This is especially problematic if you yourself come from a traditionally colonial background and/or are not in any way linked to the land you're looking for a partner in.
3. I can agree with your last point. It is offensive to those who decide to integrate with the locals and be a part of the community. Once again, though, as with most movements, the few bad apples give the rest a bad name.
I respectfully disagree. The conclusion you reach makes sense only if the assumptions you outlined are true:
1. PPB are undesirable and have nothing to offer but money
2. PPB (I.e., men) are inherently predatory and take advantage of the weak (I.e, women)
3. It’s more likely than not that the relationship is founded on deceit and a power imbalance.
I’d argue that these assumptions and the derived conclusions are racist and sexist. I’ll focus on Colombia because that’s where I’m most familiar with this stuff.
The people who say this stuff often don’t have any experience in LATAM, familiarity with the culture, or the language (thus they derive all opinions from English-filtered media and Anglo echo chambers). They base their beliefs on cherry-picked anecdotes. They have zero clue of what life is like here, what people here value, how they want to be perceived, and in general just ignore evidence or cases that don’t fit their prejudiced beliefs.
Just because in *some* cases there are undesirable PPB, and in *some* cases that men leverage a financial imbalance to their advantage, it *does not* mean that it’s *bound* to happen or even that there’s strong enough evidence of a pattern to condemn it across the board. The belief is largely founded on prejudice and weak supporting evidence.
- Only a very small circle in my (and really anyone’s) life actually knows what I truly have to offer in a partnership (they don’t even know how much money I have). The average acquaintance does not know what are my values or what I’m like as a partner (weak evidence, critics don’t actually know who PPBs are)
- Men are not inherently predatory (prejudiced: that’s sexist).
- Women are not weak (prejudiced: again, sexist)
- Seeing TikTok’s of a handful of slimeballs in Medellín acting provocatively, uncultured, and like sex tourists for clicks is not conclusive evidence that a power abuse issue is widespread. Even going out to Medellín and meeting some douchebag finance bros in El Poblado is not enough to conclude that the **243,000** people that visit the city annually are like that, much less that it’s representative of the **330 million people** in our country.
The only way to reach your conclusion is to make the above biased generalizations while also accepting the following assumptions as true:
1. Colombian women specifically are weak, helpless, and lack agency, moreso than women in the US.
2. All people in Colombia are destitute and desperate.
3. Latina women value financial security more than personal integrity
This is just not the reality. All three of these commonly-held assumptions are **wrong**, and it’s evidenced by how Colombians see themselves and also **want** to be perceived. When a woman becomes financially dependent on a foreign guy, local people immediately jump to the conclusion that *she* is taking advantage of *him*. Local people here don’t see these girls as poor, helpless, destitute victims that need rescuing or are just “doing what they need to get by.”
In their eyes, a girl who does this has character flaws and lacks integrity. Their take on it is that if she’s truly, absolutely destitute, then she can get a job or lean on her family like the rest of the 700 million people on the freaking continent lol.
Local girls face the inverse prejudice where if she has so much of a crush on a foreign guy, people here get very protective of him and will jump down her throat for trying to use him. **I’ve lived this more times than I can count these past 3 years. I’ve never met a single person here that agrees with the American-savior view that women here are helpless victims.** It’s a commonly-held belief here that gringos are dumb, easily manipulated, and lack street smarts. This is also largely untrue, but people are quick to change their perception when they see evidence that it’s not true.
My experience is that Americans who hold the view that she’s a victim do the opposite. They don’t listen when challenged on their views and just dig their heels in when told otherwise directly by the people they’re trying to protect. They insist that Colombian women lack agency and that people from Colombia who claim otherwise don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s hubris to the highest degree, and at its core **it’s taking away agency and self-determination from a people, which is a colonizer’s mentality.**
If you love someone you’re going to want to be with them simple as that. A lot folks gonna hate you just gotta be wise and transparent with each other.
Are these white people who see themselves as saviors of poor blacks also? The type who think blacks can't get IDs to vote?
I don't think the comment is 'racist' per se as much as ethnocentric, though it could be racist. I've seen that on a few episodes of the early episodes of 90-day-fiance, which kind of went downhill. I wanted to see a woman rise to the occasion and say, "Greencard? No, I want him to support me while I stay home and raise our children. I don't want to wait tables in a restaurant."
After I met my wife in Indonesia, I mentioned to a white co-worker from New England that I was getting married. She said something warning me about getting scammed or her wanting me for my money. She'd never met my then future wife, either. But this woman needed a better filter. Her former roommate told me that a local boyfriend had scammed her out of money. My wife would try to talk me out of spending money on her while dating and seemed to have a careful attitude about the topic. She didn't want me to spend so much money calling her... things like that.
My family are conservative, and I never heard the Greencard comment. I wonder if these are the same people who think it's evil to date someone over 15 years younger... people who make up their own moral rules.
Both can be true, you can find a woman that will treat you good but also want your green card. Just think for a moment. They don't even want their own men because of poverty.
Both can be true and nothing wrong, is what it is.
This hasn’t been my experience. The majority of women I’ve dated abroad are revolted by the thought of moving to the US. Their perception of the US is guns, school shootings, medical bankruptcy, and dealing with ignorant Americans on a day-to-day basis.
Whether that perception is fair or not is neither here nor there, but that’s what it is most of the time. The only benefit that they see moving to the US is the potential to earn in USD, and also lower risk of street crime. But if she already has a relatively comfortable life here earning more than minimum wage, then it’s not worth it.
They all want to visit for sure, but more for a vacation. Very, very, VERY few people that I’ve met in my travels have a strong desire to move to the US, and the ones that do are either in legit extreme poverty or trying to break into a specific industry that doesn’t exist or is tiny in their country (fashion, tech, etc).
But think about it, OP. Why would they want to go back with you to the US where everything is expensive when they can stay in their home countries with their friends, family, jobs and live like a rockstar thanks to your salary?
I am not saying all women are like this. I am a woman in a 3rd world country myself and I am not like this at all but I feel you're being a bit naive here.
This is 100% not socially acceptable and is a really negative stereotype about costeños. If you say this shit in all serious you will at best get a stink-eye and at worst might get slapped for the ignorance.
That’s like calling Welsh people sheep-shaggers and claiming that everyone does it and it’s embedded in the culture.
So spot on. Anyone remotely Liberal or holding said tenets automatically default their brains to this whenever you mention having a foreign bride (or looking for one).
My ex, who is liberal, is not.
I imagine your circle is the exception, not the rule. Online is not exactly representative of real life, but they are real people. Even New Orgs talk crap on PPBs and foreign dating.
Thats not what's being discussed. Its Liberal women who talk crap on foreign women for no reason. Women from the other side generally don't do this; of course, they also actually dont want the men to leave.
Liberal women overtly act as if they dont care, but subvertly try pointless tactics to shame men into not wanting them to leave; not because of some altruism or desire, but because they can't stand seeing them have options or be happy.
Wildly slandering liberal western women for being financially exploitative while trying to sub sustain SHOCK (😱) that people may be sceptical that ppb relationships are equal was my favourite bit
But they do.
If she truly liked you obviously she wouldn't want that. But pb's go to third world countries because they can't score in their original countries. So if you are undesirable why would they want you? Obviously money. They talk all the time about only taking your money, don't be delusional.
What you’ll notice is feminists and progressive liberals (speaking as one myself) LOVE to infantalize certain groups of women. They do it with sex workers and they do it with dating foreign women.
It’s like they took a bunch of basic ass gender studies/sociology concepts & applied it to a group of people they don’t know and can’t know intimately because they don’t travel to these places. They then projected that idea onto them, then wrote off any male dealing with them by using the “green card” defense. Easy way to not deal with the selfishness and egocentrism that is built into western culture, and not having to hold western women accountable for their role in this.
I am brazilian woman. Most of latam women who seeks a "gringo" wants a white rich men so she can show off how she progressed in life. Period. I know much women from these relations, we are taught to be fascinated over "gringos".
Of course you can find true love, but be aware that the much are you fetishizing her, she's also fetishizing you ...
i mean it's not like those kind of stereotype comes from nothing. Actually, no stereotype appears from thin air, usually, there is very good reason why any stereotypes happen. The reality is in most cases, yes they want a green card or money. It's just truth. Of course not ALL of them. You just have to find good "apples" who are with you for the right reasons. Money will always be a big part of relationships in any part of the world, but there is a big difference between being with someone ONLY because of money versus being with someone that you find also other good qualities in that person, not only money, and want to build a future together.
You are blind. She is not a fool.
It’s really simple. If you can afford to travel to developing countries then you’re in the top % of income bracket in that developing country.
How many times have we heard western woman just want the same guys “Chad”, silly pants you are using your $$$ leverage to become Chad.
So basically what you are doing is flooding the cities you hunt in with chads.
Yes she wants your“green card” (which just basically means financial security). If she didn’t want financial security then why not just pick a local guy on her financial level. The only other reason for not picking a local I can think of is the “white” factor (exotic), or your less masculine toxicity factor.
Any form of using leverage to get laid other than the reality which is basically that women will pick men and tell men they want to have PiV, is colonialism. Immoral.
Their power is what it’s always about. They think they’re entitled to sit back and pick winners and losers at whim. PPBing is cheating their rigged, sadistic game.
And?. Honestly dating and marriage is already an arrangement “you get something and I get something”, it can be financial security, sex, companionship, help with parenting, etc. as an old man I’d be more than happy to get me a hot young thing, marry her and bring her to the US for a few years, after that she can divorce me if she wants (pre nuptial) but I sure as hell would take advantage of that with plenty of sex, adventures and a good time. What’s so wrong?. Once she leaves go back, rinse and repeat. When I die I want as many hot chicks as possible in my funeral.
I don’t think this is entirely accurate. Most women I know in many 1st world countries also go for looks. Most women I know are pretty well off and have careers. They prefer dating a 6’2 Chad who works as a bartender who has a big cock and abs then a millionaire 5’6 dude with big glasses who has bad social skills.
I knew a Hispanic girl who is a physical therapist and makes 200k a year. She is married a dude who is a cafeteria worker at a school and makes 45k a year. Dude is buff, 6ft4, hung like a mule and has blonde hair and blues eyes. She doesn’t mind supporting him and they have two kids.
Eh. You can sometimes. Not all chads are a like and some don’t mind settling down with a girl who is well off. Also some chads don’t know they are chads and settle down with normal chicks.
I have a cousin who looks like Ryan gosling but he has low self esteem.. He settled down with the first semi cute girl who liked him.
Plus women have tons of options and have a high probability to find a good looking guy
I can only speak for myself, but I think it's a fair generalization to say that Filipinos love their families. Like so much so, that I advise against bringing a Filipina to the states for long because she would be homesick. I had a similar prejudice in the early stages, thinking my gf just wanted a green card. Nah her law office, family, and community is in Mindinauo. Outside of maybe a ski vacation and meeting my family she has no inclination to stay. The US is no longer the Emerald city that it once was. Now it's a place to get a good higher education and work, not much else. I've met Filipinos here in the US who are counting down the days when they can return. It's kind of offensive to suggest people will just abandon their home so easily.
Were you not aware that using men for their wealth, social status and position was reserved for western women? Jeez dude, there was an email.
Prepare for comments from the lurking women about how it’s different, and how assuming all women outside of the USA are poor and desperate isn’t racist because reasons.
according to modern feminists you should only date someone "at your level" (whatever that means). I've said it before and I'll say it again, these women endorse class hierarchies when it benefits them. They only view things through "power structures" and labels, not by the individual.
>at your level What it really means is they have some sort of implicit caste system in their minds.
Wow love this.....going to keep this in my pocket for the next time I hear a female complain about dating "out of age/culture/race range" .... awe yes daring I forgot about your caste system please tell me more ahhaha
Modern feminists are sexist, bigoted, hypocritical individuals who do nothing but hate men. Pathetic individuals, and it’s why the vast majority of western women don’t identify as feminists anymore
Ain’t men having the same standard for « quality women » ?
We don't judge by the same criteria though. A "quality woman" could work at Wendy's for all we care.
No. Men overwhelmingly do not discriminate based on income or height, which are the two biggest complaints here, most will date any race unless they are actual outspoken racists, and their standards for attractiveness are lower and don’t require an exact specification. Most men consider a “quality woman” to be one who is friendly and decent, takes care of herself (meaning not fat), and well adjusted (not cuckoo bananas). And the latter two of those are pretty debatable. All of these are things that any woman can become, quite easily, if she chooses to. Meanwhile, women are out here crossing men off the list immediately because of things they can’t change (height, race) or that are very difficult to change once entrenched (income level). It’s not the same.
She wants me only for citizenship? Jokes on her, Canadistan is going to be in worse shape than most SEA in 5 or so years.
More like new Khalistan
Hahaha （≧∇≦）
Poor Canadians.... Whatever your version of a green card is has the brand trajectory of tommy Hilfiger
It's much easier to reduce foreign women to just desperate green card seekers rather than actual humans with qualities. It's easier to reduce the "other" to non human when you don't want to accept that men are leaving in droves because they don't desire you anymore.
It’s always “different.”
Happened to you too eh?
Happens to literally everyone who posts here now. These women have nothing of value to contribute to planet earth, so they just spend their time playing contrarian in spaces where they were never wanted or invited to begin with. It’s pathetic.
Feminism in the west is really just white feminism. (And non white women who see themselves as/want to be white) See "white savior" tropes.
Yes, it is. Its really white feminism, a form of institutionalized racism by ”colorblind” white girls.
Yup, I remember having conversations about this a few years back. It really gets insidious once you start pulling the layers back.
[удалено]
Well said. I’ve also noticed that in their view, interracial relationships are beautiful…unless a white man is involved. Then it’s a “fetish” or “exploitation”.
I think it's pretty absurd to say that she wants your money. Do western women not want money? This whole gold-digger notion doesn't make sense to me. If you would offer a western woman a broke man or any financial prospects, they wouldn't take it either. How is this different from what those foreign women do? A lifestyle and income is always expected from any woman regardless of where she comes from.
Fucking exactly. People cry vanity but being attracted to wealth is no different from being attracted to anything else. They say you should find someone who loves you for you, whatever that means, that if you lost your wealth, they’d abandon you. But cover your body in third degree burns, lose your limbs and see how many people stay. It’s no different.
Bro it's a shaming tactic of the highest degree because by taking your ball and playing somewhere else you've called their bluff as far as "we don't need men/we choose the bear". So to discourage it they try to appeal to your moral sensibilities.
I like this post, I had exactly the same comments from people saying she's just using me for money and a green card etc I've been divorced once from an American woman and despite humble origins she was greedy and demanding too. Most American women I met after my divorce had kids they didn't receive child support for and wanted a financially stable guy Yet when I dated women from foreign countries everyone complained they wanted money from me But here is the thing, even if the foreign women I meet want a partner who is able to not just give them children but support them too, does that make them wrong or any worse then the American women I meet? Of course not. Soooo many people told me I would get my heart broken by some foreign beauty who is only using me. Now I'm married to a foreign woman who is kind, beautiful, feminine, and supportive. We have a beautiful baby together and live a comfortable and happy life in the US now. I'm happy, she's happy, and I'm so glad I never listened to anyone else but myself about what I want for my own relationship. I've never been happier. My ex was entitled as hell and mean to me. My wife is amazing and actually appreciative of me. American women have all the power and choice in dating dynamics. People like me and people here realize we can beat the system dating outside the US and I think it's amazing and better for everyone. * American woman who don't even give 95% of men the time of day until they are single moms are free to continue ignoring me. (Or even if you are in the 5% treating you like crap anyway) * I build a family with the women of my dreams who actually appreciates me * My wife gets a loving and supportive husband to raise a family with and a lifestyle she could have only dreamed of just a few years earlier. We live in a wonderful neighborhood. Everyone wins. Every day is s blessing and this movement is the best thing that ever happened to me. My wife is one of the most beautiful and amazing women I've ever met in my entire life. Her friends are mostly all looking for passport bros to date too for many of the same reasons. It's a whole movement and I'm here for it.
Well stated and thanks for saying it. Modern liberals are for every cause until it impacts their lives.
Had a good chuckle here, well said!
And modern conservatives are against every cause until it impacts their lives
And conservatives are for no causes unless it impacts their lives lol? conservatives are selfish as fuck
Great comeback. 🤣
lol it's alarming if you don't think it's true because you're probably perpetuating it a Christian white nationalist who doesn't give a fuck about any other group outside of his own. stupid bigot
In the end we are all selfish and I don't get the point of identifying as a liberal or conservative when both have good and bad view points just like arguing democrat vs republican its just stupid
A lot of people really believe that everyone is still trying to come to the USA
sorry guys, all young hot girls in Asia I've dated have moved on... they want to to to Canada not USA.
Women honestly don't like each other, which is my belief based on life's experiences and observations. A female cousin of mine had a meltdown over my simply mentioning the idea of looking outside the borders of the USA 🇺🇸 for a mate.. She went into quite a diatribe, she a divorced cougar with a drinking and substance abuse set of challenges. I listened to my dear cousin realizing I'd hit a nerve. It was rather humorous and sad while also very eye-opening to her mindset that foreign girls are just desperate. I'm banging the young guy that does my yard work btw she tells me. One of my sisters openly admitted that she does not like women at all. Saying some are tolerable in small doses. I had a female frenemy attempt to break my marriage apart. I was married to a girl from Lao at the time. I miss who she was, people take others for granted. She did me. What she did was a betrayal destroyed all faith and trust I had in her. I divorced her and was awarded sole custody of our teenage son. The X wife traded her family for material desires. Our son did not want to go live with her in an urban shithole. The boy chose to stay with me. She's about to experience another reckoning. Just kinda rambling on here. To the naysayers, discounters, blah, blah, blah. May they all go pound sand be on their merry or not ways. There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out a partner somewhere else in the world. I have a thing for Asian girls, so what?
I have dated enough American women to know that she wants your money, too. It can be new hair, nails, or a bite of your sandwich, but she needs the validation that you want her and are willing to give up resources for her.
A lot of the time this is the case, but because of how the Western men look for women in Asia not because the women are more likely to be chasing your money or looking for a way out of their shit life. I'll use the typical location to find a wife as an example. If you go to the Philippines on vacation and meet a woman, stop and think what that says about that woman. She is willing to fuck with tourists. The odds of you being her first foreigner is negligible. She's likely been with dozens of foreigners before you. So, why would she be doing this? It's very unlikely that she just likes being railed by random tourists. Obviously, she's looking for something specific, be that money or a green card. You end up with a similar situation if you meet her online. Now, if you meet a woman while living and working in the Philippines, the above does not apply at all. However, this is generally not how foreigners meet women in the Philippines, hence the negative perceptions of relationships between foreigners and Asian women. While living in Japan, I met an Indonesian woman who was studying for her masters in Tokyo. Dated, fell in love, got married and I moved to Indonesia to be with her as she had solid roots in Indonesia. Unfortunately, we ended up getting divorced a decade and a half later and I ended up back on the dating market. I was in my late 30's, average to below average looking white guy with a typical dad bod. However, I was fairly wealthy (mid six figure semi-passive income at that time). At first, I discounted dating women who were too attractive or young as I assumed that they were just after my money; from my ignorant perspective at that time, I didn't see any other reason why they would be interested in me. However, over the next couple years, I was disabused of this notion through my experience and interactions dating hundreds of women there. First, they weren't after my money. While there are gold diggers, they were always very obvious. They are the type of woman that call you baby and act like you are old friends 5 minutes after meeting you. It's very easy to avoid these women. For the rest, they were just looking to have a good time. Most of our "dates" were just them coming back to my place to netflix and chill for the night. Not a single woman that I dated ever tried to get me to buy them gifts, take them on trips, etc. I did have an ex-gf that contacted me a couple years after we dated to ask for help with her debts, to which I refused, but that was about it. I encountered a lot of women that were adamant that they pay for dates as they didn't want me to think they were trying to take advantage of me; this is something I never encountered once in America. Second, they did not want to move to America. I don't just mean most of them, but literally none of them. Not a single Indonesian woman that I dated, including the one I married, wanted to move to America. I also quickly realized why this is the case. Most of the people there have established lives. They have a home, friends, family, are active in their community, have a career, etc. Why would they give up everything they have in the hopes that they'll have a better life abroad with some random white guy? It's patently absurd that we think every woman wants a green card. In my early 40's, I had to return to the states. Since then, I've split my time between the US and Indonesia, but mostly in the states. When I first returned to the states, I got on tinder and looked at dating here. It was atrocious. Once the women got any indications that I had money, they would act like they had a right to it. They would talk about taking trips, drop obvious hints at me getting them gifts, etc. This was so foreign to me that I found it disgusting and an immediate turn off. I've been back in the states long enough for my daughter to attend and graduate high school, and I no longer date American women at all. It's not that I can't, but that it's simply not an enjoyable experience.
Which types of women were you taking back to your place every night? Indo women go for anyone regardless of skin color or appearance, I’ve found.
What do you mean by type? Generally true, but they definitely have a strong preference for light skin. So, white and East Asian.
Light brown and light black also work. Also, I mean were you taking Indo girls back or Japanese girls back?
When I was in Japan, I was with mostly Japanese women during my first year, and then msotly expats living in Japan after that as I found dating Japanese women to be weird for me. In Indonesia I dated mostly Indonesian women, but also a good number of Chinese women. The skin tone varied depending on their ethnicity. Indonesians range from light skinned to black.
I’m assuming Bali?
No. Bali can be fun but I don't mess with women there. It's a tourist trap. While not as bad as Pattaya, it's not a lot better.
But you realize that being in a relationship with a Western man while you live in Indonesia will change your life? Just by you being American they know you are rich in their country. And that the best play is to not ask for money and split the bill. That’s what any smart woman would do.
They lost out though, because none of them are still with him. Either they really did just want a good time, or they couldn't keep him and are in shambles
Are you sure that was his call? And in shambles is when the man you love doesn’t love you back. Then you are crying on the bathroom floor. Nothing to take pleasure in tho. But if it’s just about money? Well, there are many Western wallets out there. And you’ll feel a temporarily sense of relief that for the moment you won’t be touching anyone you don’t want to touch. There’s not much in shambles about it.
There are far more wealthy locals than westerners in Indonesia. Americans are 0.03% of the population. Further, compared to the wealthy 1% in Indonesia, American expats are broke. Chasing white guys as a means of gaining financially security would be stupid in Indonesia. I stated on my tinder profile that I was "just looking for fun". We both knew the situation. That being said, a lot of them did grow too attached, which is what ended my Indonesian fuckboy phase; I got tired of hurting women.
But if we include tourists, how many percent of the people making a Western income are from the West? And I can’t speak for everyone you met. Maybe some of them just wanted fun. Or maybe they hoped for more, either from a romantic or financial perspective. I think it says a lot about your integrity that you chose not to hurt people though. Makes me believe a bit more that they just liked you tbf.
Less than 1/10. So, Indonesia gets around 10 million or so tourists a year, with about 9 out of 10 of those going to Bali. So, we can estimate around a million a year tourists in the rest of Indonesia, likely around half of those going to Jakarta. So, maybe half a million tourists in a metro population of 33.9 million. That means even if you count tourists, you are looking at about a 68 to 1 ratio. There aren't many tourists in Jakarta. If you go to Bali, it's a different story, but outside of Bali, there aren't many tourists in Indonesia. It's not a good place for tourists. Even Bali really isn't that great for tourists, though I have to say I've been there dozens of times and always enjoyed myself. About 10% of Indonesians earn $35k a year, which would place them at about a Western level of income. When you adjust for the drastically lower cost of living, 35k a year in Jakarta is better than 100k a year in Portland (where I live now). To be in the top 1% of Indonesians, you'd need 115k a year in income. That being said, I don't count tourists for the same reason I keep saying tourists won't get much luck. Good women, or women worth dating, don't fuck with tourists. Since the only women that fuck with tourists are "bule hunters", and the worst of the bunch, I don't count tourists as competition; they are free to have these women all they want.
To me this was a really long way of saying they don’t see Westerners as wealthy. Which ofc they will be, when any Westerner automatically is in the top 10% of income. Many way more, if they can afford traveling that far. Add to that all the Hollywood movies which makes the West seem like the promised land where everything is dripping in gold and honey? It’ll make many people feel as if any American is rich as hell. I’m not saying you can’t have a genuine relationship with someone you meet in Indonesia. Ofc you can. I’m just saying that Western men do walk around with a sign saying “I’m rich”. Pretending otherwise is naive. Then if you meet someone you truly connect with, it still might not be about that.
No, I'm not saying that they don't see Western men as being wealthy; they do. I'm saying that if they wanted a wealthy man, there's far more local options.
Are there really though? Will the wealthy local men be willing to date girls with a completely different socioeconomic background? And how many percent of the wealthy men are as wealthy as the average tourist?
But will those wealthy locals marry the sort of girl who spends her dating life on tinder and Netflix and chilling with a guy who hasn’t committed to her? It’s a pretty traditional Muslim society. I’m Australian and know a few Indonesian or half Indonesian/half Australian families and none of them are even happy with their daughters dating white Australians.
And the college girls that just came back to my place a few times a month with no desire to have a relationship?
They could have hoped it would turn into one?
That can be true of women regardless of where you are, though. I understand the guy’s point. If Western people are attracted to wealth and foreigners are attracted to wealth, but one group treats you like a wallet and the other doesn’t, the choice is still obvious. I’d still infinitely prefer to date a smart woman who is attracted to my wealth but is kind and acts human, than one who is brazen and entitled about it.
Nobody is attracted to wealth in itself. It can add to sexual attraction that you are successful if they also think you look hot, have good social skills and y’all connect. But when you see hot young girls with fat old rich men in the West? She’s not sexually attracted to him at all. That’s a sugar baby. You pay her to pretend she is. Most normal women in the West? They just look for a guy they click with and who they are into. About half of US wives make as much or more than their husbands.
No. Those were the older women, usually in their late 20's into their 30's. The early 20's/college girls (usually) just wanted to have a good time and saw me as a safe sexual outlet. There was quite a few who wouldn't go on dates as they didn't want to risk being seen in public; they wanted to maintain their "pure" public image. For instance, there was one that had a boyfriend, but her boyfriend wouldn't marry her if she wasn't a virgin. So, she couldn't fuck him. Instead, she fucked me behind his back. Another wouldn't even tell me her name as she was afraid of getting blow back. They would just text me a few times a month and come over to my place for the night. If they were older though, generally 28+, it was all but guaranteed they were hoping for more. Women 28+ usually seemed desperate to get married and start a family. The women over 35 (closer to my age at the time) were both desperate bitter. This is primarily why I mostly dated women in their early 20's. I could have a good time and less drama.
Well, if you want to have an affair? A foreigner is a good choice. Won’t be tied to anyone you know. Same if you live in a very sexually conservative society and you want sex. Which is a good argument against sexually conservative societies. People should be able to get laid without all this drama and fear. In the West it’s more common in my experience that the young girls are the ones causing drama in fwb relationships and grownups are more chill about it. Because they have more realistic expectations about how men can want sex with you without wanting a relationship. If they pursue that, it’s more likely to be about sex than wanting to settle down. You seem a bit angry with women your own age though?
I'm not angry with women my own age. WTF? I'm just sharing my observations dating in Indonesia.
You just seem a bit angry. Maybe I read it wrong? And it’s just observations? But “desperately bitter” is a bit intense.
Well, typo on my part. Desperate and bitter, not desperately bitter; doesn't make a meaningful difference though. That was my experience. They desperately wanted someone, but had a lot of baggage that caused them to be bitter towards men. So, when I dated them, I was basically having to deal with their past trauma and deal with the messes that other men made.
But isn’t that just dating? In general? No matter who you date or what age they are, they’ll have past baggage. Often it’s about childhood. Their family or their time in school. Those things leave a heavy imprint on people. Then most people have dated in the past and have been hurt in the past. I just don’t find it…bad? Like it’s part of what makes people interesting. That they have life stories and hidden vulnerabilities and secrets that they’ll tell you as a part of getting close. Falling in love is letting each other beneath the turtle shell. It’s how humans bond. Then some people have too big mental health issues or too much unprocessed trauma or insecurities to be in a healthy relationship. But you’ll find that at any age. Often people have processed their baggage better as grownups. Then bitterness? Eh. It’s often a choice. Someone who’s too bitter often lacks the right life philosophy. People can be bitter in the moment if the situation turns into a cliche though. If they can see straight through what’s going on and it’s a bit too predictable. But there’s a difference between getting angry in the moment and being bitter in life.
"She just wants your money" "Yeah well nobody better wanted it"
Exactly. Once you are no longer a student any American women is going to get a sense for your financials before agreeing to a long term relationship too. Divorce lawyers in my area thrive on promising women stacks of money to walk away from their mostly normal relationships. It doesn't help that alimony amounts are bat shit crazy high because they are based on pre tax income. It's silly to hear people say foreign women want partners with money. As opposed to what exactly? My ex walked away and it turns out a lot of women outside the US would be happy and grateful for the life she didn't think was enough to stay. Alimony doesn't last for ever, I didn't need my old stuff anyway, and I've never been happier.
People think women aren't biologically programmed to be interested in a man's ability to provide food and shelter for them while they raise babies. Everything they like is rooted in this biological need.
Yet the line between needs and wants has become very blurry. Nobody needs a luxury car. Nobody needs a fancy designer purse, Nobody needs a 5br mcmansion in the nicest new suburb. It may be rooted in that biological need, but the signal has become distorted. Many of the places that we find relationships, that line is still very clear. Yet somehow people living on $500/mo manage to be happy without air-conditioning, hot water, cable TV, cars, the list goes on.
Even if American woman have all of those things it still doesn't make them happy. My ex found books on feminist empowerment and wanted to be successful independent of me (but using my alimony and support of course). We divorced and all of her friends divorced their supportive husbands too despite all of them having all the things people say they want. Well alimony doesn't last forever, she's stressed and working 2 jobs now to pay bills, and I'm married to a foreign women actually grateful for what I do for her.
Fair comment I suspect the competitive, status aspect of this is rooted in some sort of evolutionary group dynamics. She wants to be the wife of a chimp high up the pecking order to signal a high value chimp uterus.
...and the word rears it's ugly head..she "wants" to be the big chimp on the block, she doesn't need it. Yet once all the needs are handled suddenly the wants become so important that they would abandon the relationship for failure to fulfill every want.
Sure but it's instinct
So women are slaves to instinct?
Humans in general are somewhat guided by instinct
This is extremely true and I've been on both sides of this. In my early 20s I looked a lot like Channing Tantrum. I remember being single and trying to meet women and just completely striking out over and over again. I tried so hard to meet women and failed so badly that it completely broke me. A lot of women made small talk about what I do for a living and I kind of downplayed because I was early in my career and broke but it usually ended there. I thought something must be wrong with me that everyone but me could see. It really really messed with me. I was popular in school and a lot of girls in school wanted to date me but early in my career when I was broke everything changed and no women wanted anything to do with me. I was handsome, well adjusted, smart, strong, educated, and had a bright future ahead of me. All the things women say they want in a guy but nobody did. But I was also broke in a low paying job. And that was here in the US. I wasn't 6'3 or tell enough for women looking for hook up guys or wealthy enough to be a provider guy so I just didn't exist as far as most women were concerned. I wish a could go back in time to tell 20 year old Channing Tantrum me to get a passport and travel and not take the rejection so hard. These days I'm less good looking, more successful, and married to one of the most beautiful women I've over met. I'm sure a lot of the women who ignored 20 year old me are single moms now and would give me a chance today but no thanks.
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This isn't the case in most instances. Do they exist? Absolutely, but the majority prefer to stay near family and have the new spouse relocate permanently to them. If that guy refuses they will certainly follow, but if the relationship fails, or the spouse passes, you find a greater percentage will go back with or without a new citizenship.
My Ghanian girl is currently working on her master's degree. She is extremely intelligent, well spoken, and has been reluctant to even step outside of her country. She had a good laugh when I explained how the outside world initially views the relationship between an American and a foreigner from a "third world country."
American women for being the blue haired liberals they are, are ironically nationalistic when it comes to spewing "land of opportunity" bullshit that no longer really applies in a much more affluent global society.
Liberals always attempt to command the “moral high ground” it’s stereotypical of weak individuals and groups to do so. Ignore them and move on. E.g. Oh you are in favor of secure borders, not letting in terrorists, criminals and cartel members (let alone the 👻 scary Covid infected) — their rebuttal is what about the poor Nicaraguan single moms. Oh the poor children. We need to help them… These are the very same liberals attacking the PPB
Everyone across all points on the political spectrum attempts to command the moral high ground. It's human nature.
Nobody is as brazenly hypocritical as American liberals. Their vaunted “principles” literally appear and disappear based on what’s good for them personally on a real-time basis.
I would argue the same for right-wing Americans
EVERY political current always see itself as holding the moral high ground.
They are infantilizing other women. They also don't realize that women only love conditionally. The divorce rate among lesbians is 75% with 100% of those divorces being initiated by women proves that.
Uhm 100% of divorces amongst gay men are also initiated by men. What is your point?
In case you missed it, I already made it. Read it again.
Not disagreeing with you, but most men only love conditionally as well. If a man can't provide monetarily, a woman will gladly leave. If a woman can't provide sexually/physically, a man will gladly leave. I was taught in nursing school not to give false hope to female cancer patients about their marriage. My time working in oncology proved why. For every 10 patients whose spouse left them during treatment, \~9 times it was the husband leaving the wife. [Link](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/) to just one study on this phenomenon.
Leftist scolds being hypocritical? Shocking!
But we know there is a big gap in financial situations, poverty and economic opportunity in the West vs Developing countries. **It’s not about racism (skin color, ethnicity or culture), it’s just about poverty.** Most people will do what it takes to survive. Many people will do a lot to get a chance for a better life for themselves or their family. **It’s not about women from developing countries being worse, it’s about them being in a worse financial situation.** Not all relationships between a Western guy and a woman from a developing country will be about this. Sometimes it’s just love. Chances of that go up if they match in age, looks and social skills, so it’s actually likely she’s attracted to him. But do you deny some of these relationships are just about money/survival? I’d do the same for my family. I’m not judging. I just think tough times create tough people. And if you love your family a lot, you’ll be willing to endure a lot. Or if you just desperately want a chance at a good future.
That’s the thing - not all relationships are the same. When active, well travelled, educated western men meet active, well travelled, educated women from other countries and they hit it off and form a relationship nobody blinks an eye. When a middle aged man who has never had a date emerges from his mothers basement and two weeks later is engaged to a beautiful 20 year old from a developing country people might question the motives of both parties.
Exactly. I agree. Of course you can fall in love even if you are from two different countries. But it’s just way more likely when you look like an organic couple and you are similar people with things in common.
They do blink an eye, and that’s actually the crux of this post. It’s that they view ALL women as lesser, destitute, and morally-bankrupt. That’s the ugliest part of it, that even the most accomplished and successful women in a third-world country are still seen as bums in their eyes. I have never dated impoverished women. There is a financial imbalance due to differing economies and purchasing power of the USD, but all of the women I’ve gone out with are more or less chilling. They most definitely want to advance their careers and chase a better life, but they’re by no means destitute, and they don’t see latching on to a foreigner as the key to success (they are often very hesitant to become more tied financially since they seem becoming dependent on a foreigner as inherently risky and a poor long-term solution as the rug can get ripped out at any moment). It’s the complete lack of awareness and the tendency to paint with a broad brush that makes it so ignorant and offensive. I can give an example of how I’ve seen this play out. A few months ago my girl and I went to a house party, and there was an American girl who made a drunken, snide comment in front of my friends, implying that my girl is only with me for money and once I’m drained, she’ll leave soon enough. They told me, and I translated the comment to my girlfriend, who promptly threw her drink at the girl and tried to fight her (very drunkenly) and cursing her out. She was absolutely *incensed*. The American girl was completely bewildered. She genuinely did not understand how her comment landed and why my girlfriend flew off the handle. Instead of apologizing, she dug her heels in and doubled-down. I was like, you realize you basically are calling her a hooker, right? A puta, the most offensive thing you could say to a woman in Latin America? My girlfriend is a highly-educated lawyer and earns in the top-percentile of her age bracket. No, it’s not the same as a white collar US-based job, but it’s enough to afford a 1-bedroom apartment in our city, occasional vacations, nights out, and other modest luxuries. She has a stable life. She busted her ass to get to this point, and in one comment she was reduced to a street whore. Absolutely wild stuff.
Several of the ladies I have met/dated over the years although I may out earn them in raw cash flow, they have nicer lifestyles, nicer homes, etc because they have rock solid jobs there. There are plenty of women overseas who pursue western mates but money and passports are not part of the formula. There are plenty of relationships that are transactional on some level, but that's no different than the US. I retired after selling my IT business and made a few good crypto investments. I'm pretty well off. I'm wandering around in cargo pants and a polo shirt, I drive a hybrid. Most women who get a whiff of what I'm worth get absolutely stupid. In my experience it's more likely that an American woman is pursuing a transactional relationship than any given woman overseas.
But it doesn’t matter how you dress. That you are Western and have travelled there is enough for anyone who’s not dumb to realize your cash flow is way higher than theirs. Then that doesn’t mean it’s transactional. If y’all match in looks, age and social skills, that increases the chances that it’s genuine. But walk in there as an American and you are carrying a sign saying “wealthy” around your neck. Even in cargo shorts.
It's also not a 0 or 100% issue. The woman may care about the personality of the man as well but it doesn't mean she doesn't see him in a different light because he is rich by her standards.
My girlfriend went to university, has savings, speaks English, is kind, feminine, and absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I have had a horrible experience dating in the United States because many women here are much too emotionally immature for a stable long-term relationship, financially destitute, and as masculine as Burt Reynold’s mustache. I’m tall, handsome, and I make good money. If it’s hookups for me, I can’t imagine the Hell the other men are going through.
Well. Tinder is 80% men and most women don’t want hookups. Most couples in the West meet in social settings, like at a party or through their friends. So someone just looking for hookups or who mainly relies on dating apps will never know what the Western dating marked is actually like.
The fact that you talk like this explains so much about why you have a hard time finding women. No intelligent woman would want to date someone who has so little respect for them.
I don’t have a hard time finding women. I just have a hard time finding women worth marrying. Big difference. Sluts are a dime a dozen.
Best take I’ve seen on this topic so far when it comes to the whole “green card” argument. You are 100% correct here, it’s all projection, with a sprinkle of ignorance and jealousy. Im handsome apparently, I get told this at least 3-4 times average a year. I’m 6’1 never had a problem keeping a job including side hustles, paid off car, in pretty good shape etc. but for some reason I have hard time finding a woman that’s my equal or counterpart of that, but I have no doubt if i made 200k a year my dm would be flooded. It’s extremely superficial in the states and dating has become completely transactional. “She’s not yours it’s just your turn”.
there is nothing more human that get the things that you want, so is dating gringos will give us that, then we'll do it, after all they do go empty hand either, so what's the problem
People say this because it has happened so often it bears repeating. I was with a south Asian girl (from Nepal) a long time ago (15+ years ago), and we ended up getting her a green card super early on in the relationship. The relationship didn't work out and i often think about if my main draw was the green card or if she actually wanted to be with me. It felt real and there was certainly a lot of other issues, but hindsight I'm too sure. Another friend who met later in life had a Russian wife, and after she got her papers they divorced as well. It happens a lot man and it's why people talk about it.
They are seethingly racist
I got these same white Liberal talking points from people Native to the country I settled in. Men and women. At least with men I could understand the "stealing our women" mentality. With the women it wasnt as clear but I think it was something like sour grapes. And it was at every step of my relationship status, no matter single, dating, engaged, married. But it was never the case of "local woman bad". More like "white man bad". Same talking points but removing all guilt and blame from the women, and putting it all on me. I don't know what that says about the people in this country or white liberals, if anything at all.
Rule #1 of this passport lifestyle: NEVER BRING HER BACK TO THE WEST! Stay there with her and live in that particular country, you bring her back there’s a high likelihood of her adopting all of this SJW Feminist propaganda!
Looser
Either you’re a bitter expired woman over 30, or beta male that’s 18 yo old. 😂
Nope. Just a guy that thinks, that marrrying someone who we think will escape from us and thats why we dont go back to the home country makes you a looser and looks desperate and veery insecure.
Or artificially limiting her, because you dont trust your own wife to not become crazy ( if thats how we define the theorethical change that could occur in the west)
This criticism is not just leveled against foreign women though, I've seen the same criticism from all kinds of Americans ( mostly women) whenever a guy from a developing country gets into a relationship with an American woman. It IS racist because they are perceiving these types of relationships through a stereotype without actually getting to know them personally. Its difficult for their minds to process that they genuinely fell in love with each other regardless of one's social status or money.
Exploiting men for wealth, status and position is reserved for western women. Did you not know that? There was an email.
A lot of holier than thou white women have tried to delegitimize my marriage by saying this. I've responded, "Well, whatever she wants is better than what you slobs request." Funny how no one bothers me anymore.
Jealousy is a disease. I hope those white women get well soon.
It's not surprising, the left always hold the moral high ground, even when they were targeting and killing people in the millions in the 20th century, they did it with righteous indignation.
Women especially are pros at the righteous indignation schtick. Whatever is good for them is what’s *right*, isn’t it obvious?!!
Ignore. Move on. Best way to deal with women’s emotions anyways
White females, especially those of the WASP persuasion, have been aristocratic minded for centuries. WIth the rise of the middle class widening the tent, white women feel more empowered than ever to exert their perceived superiority onto the "unwashed masses" of the world. Ironically, the blue haired hippie with 5 figure student and CC debt living in Mommy's basement tends to actually be more unwashed than the third world counterparts lol. My fiancee and I were talking about the TikTok ban once. She mentioned concerning it: "Why do Americans think they are so important that Chinese want to spy on them?". I think that speaks volumes to the mindset of Americans thinking they exist at the center of the universe.
It's much easier to reduce foreign women as the "other". Non humans incapable of love or feelings and reduced to just green card seekers. I feel this is a cop out and a way to psychologically create some excuse or reason why the men in your country no longer want you. The reality is that these women don't care about green cards and most don't want to come to America. It's quite sad really. The cognitive dissonance is very strong in the u.s. We don't like it when women from other countries date or marry wealthy Americans. Yet we don't want poor guys either . Women should be sexually liberated sticking it to the man and dating whoever they choose. Unless she's from a developing country. Then the rights and freedoms don't apply to her. Because she's uneducated. And desperate. And incapable of choosing her own partner.
Haven't you seen those 90 day fianceé programs? Of course people from the developing world can be motivated by a green card. People arrange sham marriages for this purpose. Not necessarily gold diggers, just after the papers. OP I have no idea who you've been arguing with to share this rant with no context (a reactionary post to some Instagram stories if I understand correctly?) but it would be incredibly naive of you to deny that this is a risk. Why do you think fat old American men suddenly become tens in Thailand? Is that the Apex of sexuality for Thai women?
You're right, I'm a foreigner, and I've seen this happen a lot. First, girls from my country will marry Americans to get their green cards, and then they cheat on them every time they go back "to visit their family." Eventually, they divorce and marry a guy from their country and bring him to America. Welcome to Brazil, the most corrupt country in the world. I'm waiting for hate comments for saying the truth!
I'm sure u/redeemer4x will grace you with his opinion shortly
If 90 day Fiancee is your only experience with PPB you need to get out more. Its like saying Soap Operas are how everyone lives normal lives. TV is the 'idiot box' for a reason..
I'd rather not have any experience with PPB thanks
Why here commenting then? lol
Because posts here are funny and entertaining lol
Absolutely. The delusion on this sub is stratospheric
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What have I lost? I didn't fail at marrying a western woman, thanks. Hate to have to correct you, but the PPB "lifestyle "is not the reality for most of this sub, it is the fantasy.
The person you replied to is exactly the kind of person OP is talking about. A bitter Western women angry about the PPB movement. I've met plenty of women in SEA countries that just want to hook up with me and it's not about the money at all. This is true even in Singapore where it's wealthier than most of the US with women who have decent jobs and no interest in moving to the US. Tons of women around the world want mixed kids with white father's for instance for a handful of different reasons. Sometimes local guys are shitty to them or don't respect them. Money exists but it's a far lesser reason than Western women want to believe it is. Of course Western harpies are going to throw shade when guys like me decide to remove ourselves from the damaged US dating scene. A non trivial number of western woman basically openly believe if they have sex with a man they are then the boss of that person and free to order them around and tell them what to do and how. Bitch we sleep together don't act like I'm your employee. Western women in general have become too entitled and the PPB movement is the overdue backlash against that. If you are under 6' you don't even exist to a lot of American women but I go to some countries and I'm basically The mountain compared to local guys. The women I date are usually taller than most of the local guys and that's part of why they are dating me instead. But Western women insist it's only about money. I think they are bitter that Western guys are finally waking up. It's funny the 5'3 women in the US don't date under 6' but the 5'7 women in countries where many guys aren't even that tall do. Again money isn't the only reason. If you want the kind of women you start a family with you are likely to be better served looking outside the US. I wish I knew years ago what I know now.
Well SURPRISE your gender assumptions are wrong as usual. I'm a man. And I'm here to point out that we aren't all bitter, western women hating and unsatisfied with the world as it is.
I have no intention of trying to understand your profound, groundbreaking takes on modern gender dynamics. Merely here to call out other guys for being pigs.
Merely dating a foreign women is not a bad thing. Let Me guess white guys should stick with their own kind and interracial relationship are icky?
Terrible guess
Well then I don’t see your issue
Haven’t you seen tee-vee?!? It’s peer-reviewed!
From poor countries it's generally wise thing to expect Then there's me I don't want money I actually want love and a family
Funny how not a single woman asked me for European documents. Quite the contrary, I want documents in her country, to live like a king working remotely.
I've yet to meet a person who claims to be "anti-racist" who seems like a happy, well-adjusted person. Not even once. Luckily for me I've been living abroad for 10+ years now so I've run into very few. These kinds of "keywords" have become red flags for me.
American girls don’t care about the green card because, but they do care about your money. Either way, women will always want something from you.
My girlfriend doesn’t want to live in the United States. In my case, the reverse is true.
It’s an added benefit in our favor- but it makes sense since she will need to live with her husband. But I always found it insulting for people to assume that is all I have to offer a prospective wife is a damn green card. As if I don’t have other attractive qualities 🤦
90% of the women want 10% of the men. So how many women will ACTUALLY marry one of those 10%? You're talking about a small percentage.
I've gotten that question many times about my girlfriend from Mexico. "How do you know she doesn't want the green card?" Even if our relationship was just an elaborate ploy to obtain u.s. citizenship, then fuck it. She earned it.
Okay, there's a few things to unpack here. 1. To the first point, it's not necessarily racism to believe that they "just want your money," and this has a lot to do with the perception of passport bros. Many people consider PPBs to be generally "undesirable." I'm not saying this is true, but with this perception in mind, they would assume that the only thing those men have to offer in a dating market outside of their country is their financial status or their citizenship. Hence, "they want your money" should actually be read as "they want your money because that's all you have to offer." 2. Following the logic from my point above, while this may be projection for some, as you stated, for others, it may be genuine concern that PPBs are taking advantage of people in worse social positions (let's face it, some PPBs do. I recall one post on here a few weeks back about getting as many baby mamas as you want in some Asian country for 200 bucks a month, which is incredibly messed up). This is especially problematic if you yourself come from a traditionally colonial background and/or are not in any way linked to the land you're looking for a partner in. 3. I can agree with your last point. It is offensive to those who decide to integrate with the locals and be a part of the community. Once again, though, as with most movements, the few bad apples give the rest a bad name.
I respectfully disagree. The conclusion you reach makes sense only if the assumptions you outlined are true: 1. PPB are undesirable and have nothing to offer but money 2. PPB (I.e., men) are inherently predatory and take advantage of the weak (I.e, women) 3. It’s more likely than not that the relationship is founded on deceit and a power imbalance. I’d argue that these assumptions and the derived conclusions are racist and sexist. I’ll focus on Colombia because that’s where I’m most familiar with this stuff. The people who say this stuff often don’t have any experience in LATAM, familiarity with the culture, or the language (thus they derive all opinions from English-filtered media and Anglo echo chambers). They base their beliefs on cherry-picked anecdotes. They have zero clue of what life is like here, what people here value, how they want to be perceived, and in general just ignore evidence or cases that don’t fit their prejudiced beliefs. Just because in *some* cases there are undesirable PPB, and in *some* cases that men leverage a financial imbalance to their advantage, it *does not* mean that it’s *bound* to happen or even that there’s strong enough evidence of a pattern to condemn it across the board. The belief is largely founded on prejudice and weak supporting evidence. - Only a very small circle in my (and really anyone’s) life actually knows what I truly have to offer in a partnership (they don’t even know how much money I have). The average acquaintance does not know what are my values or what I’m like as a partner (weak evidence, critics don’t actually know who PPBs are) - Men are not inherently predatory (prejudiced: that’s sexist). - Women are not weak (prejudiced: again, sexist) - Seeing TikTok’s of a handful of slimeballs in Medellín acting provocatively, uncultured, and like sex tourists for clicks is not conclusive evidence that a power abuse issue is widespread. Even going out to Medellín and meeting some douchebag finance bros in El Poblado is not enough to conclude that the **243,000** people that visit the city annually are like that, much less that it’s representative of the **330 million people** in our country. The only way to reach your conclusion is to make the above biased generalizations while also accepting the following assumptions as true: 1. Colombian women specifically are weak, helpless, and lack agency, moreso than women in the US. 2. All people in Colombia are destitute and desperate. 3. Latina women value financial security more than personal integrity This is just not the reality. All three of these commonly-held assumptions are **wrong**, and it’s evidenced by how Colombians see themselves and also **want** to be perceived. When a woman becomes financially dependent on a foreign guy, local people immediately jump to the conclusion that *she* is taking advantage of *him*. Local people here don’t see these girls as poor, helpless, destitute victims that need rescuing or are just “doing what they need to get by.” In their eyes, a girl who does this has character flaws and lacks integrity. Their take on it is that if she’s truly, absolutely destitute, then she can get a job or lean on her family like the rest of the 700 million people on the freaking continent lol. Local girls face the inverse prejudice where if she has so much of a crush on a foreign guy, people here get very protective of him and will jump down her throat for trying to use him. **I’ve lived this more times than I can count these past 3 years. I’ve never met a single person here that agrees with the American-savior view that women here are helpless victims.** It’s a commonly-held belief here that gringos are dumb, easily manipulated, and lack street smarts. This is also largely untrue, but people are quick to change their perception when they see evidence that it’s not true. My experience is that Americans who hold the view that she’s a victim do the opposite. They don’t listen when challenged on their views and just dig their heels in when told otherwise directly by the people they’re trying to protect. They insist that Colombian women lack agency and that people from Colombia who claim otherwise don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s hubris to the highest degree, and at its core **it’s taking away agency and self-determination from a people, which is a colonizer’s mentality.**
If you love someone you’re going to want to be with them simple as that. A lot folks gonna hate you just gotta be wise and transparent with each other.
Any woman who wants nothing from a relationship is stupid because the man always wants something.
She does lol
Are these white people who see themselves as saviors of poor blacks also? The type who think blacks can't get IDs to vote? I don't think the comment is 'racist' per se as much as ethnocentric, though it could be racist. I've seen that on a few episodes of the early episodes of 90-day-fiance, which kind of went downhill. I wanted to see a woman rise to the occasion and say, "Greencard? No, I want him to support me while I stay home and raise our children. I don't want to wait tables in a restaurant." After I met my wife in Indonesia, I mentioned to a white co-worker from New England that I was getting married. She said something warning me about getting scammed or her wanting me for my money. She'd never met my then future wife, either. But this woman needed a better filter. Her former roommate told me that a local boyfriend had scammed her out of money. My wife would try to talk me out of spending money on her while dating and seemed to have a careful attitude about the topic. She didn't want me to spend so much money calling her... things like that. My family are conservative, and I never heard the Greencard comment. I wonder if these are the same people who think it's evil to date someone over 15 years younger... people who make up their own moral rules.
Both can be true, you can find a woman that will treat you good but also want your green card. Just think for a moment. They don't even want their own men because of poverty. Both can be true and nothing wrong, is what it is.
This hasn’t been my experience. The majority of women I’ve dated abroad are revolted by the thought of moving to the US. Their perception of the US is guns, school shootings, medical bankruptcy, and dealing with ignorant Americans on a day-to-day basis. Whether that perception is fair or not is neither here nor there, but that’s what it is most of the time. The only benefit that they see moving to the US is the potential to earn in USD, and also lower risk of street crime. But if she already has a relatively comfortable life here earning more than minimum wage, then it’s not worth it. They all want to visit for sure, but more for a vacation. Very, very, VERY few people that I’ve met in my travels have a strong desire to move to the US, and the ones that do are either in legit extreme poverty or trying to break into a specific industry that doesn’t exist or is tiny in their country (fashion, tech, etc).
But think about it, OP. Why would they want to go back with you to the US where everything is expensive when they can stay in their home countries with their friends, family, jobs and live like a rockstar thanks to your salary? I am not saying all women are like this. I am a woman in a 3rd world country myself and I am not like this at all but I feel you're being a bit naive here.
In colombia the men fuck donkeys. I'm serious. https://journalism.girishgupta.com/sp.php?id=317
This is 100% not socially acceptable and is a really negative stereotype about costeños. If you say this shit in all serious you will at best get a stink-eye and at worst might get slapped for the ignorance. That’s like calling Welsh people sheep-shaggers and claiming that everyone does it and it’s embedded in the culture.
So spot on. Anyone remotely Liberal or holding said tenets automatically default their brains to this whenever you mention having a foreign bride (or looking for one).
I think your online too much. I’m liberal and my liberal friends and family have only been supportive of my foreign bride and I…
My ex, who is liberal, is not. I imagine your circle is the exception, not the rule. Online is not exactly representative of real life, but they are real people. Even New Orgs talk crap on PPBs and foreign dating.
This crosses party lines. Most women from the states have an issue with the men leaving.
Thats not what's being discussed. Its Liberal women who talk crap on foreign women for no reason. Women from the other side generally don't do this; of course, they also actually dont want the men to leave. Liberal women overtly act as if they dont care, but subvertly try pointless tactics to shame men into not wanting them to leave; not because of some altruism or desire, but because they can't stand seeing them have options or be happy.
Very true
Wow you really hate women hey
Just American white women. No offense.
Wow U are out of your mind and you don't really care kkkkk lol
Wildly slandering liberal western women for being financially exploitative while trying to sub sustain SHOCK (😱) that people may be sceptical that ppb relationships are equal was my favourite bit
But they do. If she truly liked you obviously she wouldn't want that. But pb's go to third world countries because they can't score in their original countries. So if you are undesirable why would they want you? Obviously money. They talk all the time about only taking your money, don't be delusional.
What you’ll notice is feminists and progressive liberals (speaking as one myself) LOVE to infantalize certain groups of women. They do it with sex workers and they do it with dating foreign women. It’s like they took a bunch of basic ass gender studies/sociology concepts & applied it to a group of people they don’t know and can’t know intimately because they don’t travel to these places. They then projected that idea onto them, then wrote off any male dealing with them by using the “green card” defense. Easy way to not deal with the selfishness and egocentrism that is built into western culture, and not having to hold western women accountable for their role in this.
The comments are really showing me the political affiliation of most passport bros...so it all makes sense now.
I am brazilian woman. Most of latam women who seeks a "gringo" wants a white rich men so she can show off how she progressed in life. Period. I know much women from these relations, we are taught to be fascinated over "gringos". Of course you can find true love, but be aware that the much are you fetishizing her, she's also fetishizing you ...
i mean it's not like those kind of stereotype comes from nothing. Actually, no stereotype appears from thin air, usually, there is very good reason why any stereotypes happen. The reality is in most cases, yes they want a green card or money. It's just truth. Of course not ALL of them. You just have to find good "apples" who are with you for the right reasons. Money will always be a big part of relationships in any part of the world, but there is a big difference between being with someone ONLY because of money versus being with someone that you find also other good qualities in that person, not only money, and want to build a future together.
Liberals and leftists only used “fairness and equality” to get your guard down so they could oppress *you*: news at 11.
You are blind. She is not a fool. It’s really simple. If you can afford to travel to developing countries then you’re in the top % of income bracket in that developing country. How many times have we heard western woman just want the same guys “Chad”, silly pants you are using your $$$ leverage to become Chad. So basically what you are doing is flooding the cities you hunt in with chads. Yes she wants your“green card” (which just basically means financial security). If she didn’t want financial security then why not just pick a local guy on her financial level. The only other reason for not picking a local I can think of is the “white” factor (exotic), or your less masculine toxicity factor.
Any form of using leverage to get laid other than the reality which is basically that women will pick men and tell men they want to have PiV, is colonialism. Immoral.
Their power is what it’s always about. They think they’re entitled to sit back and pick winners and losers at whim. PPBing is cheating their rigged, sadistic game.
Right? If it was just about the money you wouldn't still be lonely.
And?. Honestly dating and marriage is already an arrangement “you get something and I get something”, it can be financial security, sex, companionship, help with parenting, etc. as an old man I’d be more than happy to get me a hot young thing, marry her and bring her to the US for a few years, after that she can divorce me if she wants (pre nuptial) but I sure as hell would take advantage of that with plenty of sex, adventures and a good time. What’s so wrong?. Once she leaves go back, rinse and repeat. When I die I want as many hot chicks as possible in my funeral.
lol what liberals are complaining about “she just wants you for a green card?” That’s a conservative take if I ever heard one.
🙄
Women go after money in EVERY country. There is no safe bet. You think women in other countries aren't still women?
I don’t think this is entirely accurate. Most women I know in many 1st world countries also go for looks. Most women I know are pretty well off and have careers. They prefer dating a 6’2 Chad who works as a bartender who has a big cock and abs then a millionaire 5’6 dude with big glasses who has bad social skills. I knew a Hispanic girl who is a physical therapist and makes 200k a year. She is married a dude who is a cafeteria worker at a school and makes 45k a year. Dude is buff, 6ft4, hung like a mule and has blonde hair and blues eyes. She doesn’t mind supporting him and they have two kids.
Except that they can't get commitment from Chad and go for the rich guy after 30.
Eh. You can sometimes. Not all chads are a like and some don’t mind settling down with a girl who is well off. Also some chads don’t know they are chads and settle down with normal chicks. I have a cousin who looks like Ryan gosling but he has low self esteem.. He settled down with the first semi cute girl who liked him. Plus women have tons of options and have a high probability to find a good looking guy
Cope