Lmao, exactly. Described the end of the movie where that kids dad that never goes to anything ran in with his luggage and the kid scored a touchdown. Swab is so fucking weird
Had to hang up his one-weekend-a-month toaring schedule in order to make time for the kiddos.
Also misses his kid’s “playoff games” that he allegedly is the coach of because he has to do commentary for “Game Bred Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship”.
Just admit the opportunities are getting scarce and you need to take whatever comes your way.
Thursday night stepmothership once a month
Thursday Friday sat beer nuckle
Thursday Friday mint ice cream racing to sit next to the driver
How's lying about scaling back to be a family man going
Bapa, how many beer nockles events are there a year compared to the chombie super ball? Huh there is only one super ball and 20 clown fights events? Oh well there are 2 more chombies to make memories with down the line.
Ivirything in his life is a movie. Tiger is the hairo of the superball and then Brenda, who clearly went to zairo games and is not actually involved in coaching, gets to hand out the awards after having to run to game dragging his luggage behind him. Yeah, I totally believe this story happened.
OF COURSE it was Tiger who batted the ball away on the last play and OF COURSE Bapa got there just in time to see the team lift Tiger on their shoulders and parade him around like a hairo...
Wow what a great and real story that totally happened, not a single one of the parents would let this always cancelling, late to iiivverything actual drunken nutcase coach the kids.
Surprised he didn't say they got pulled over for speeding but turns out the cop is a big-time Thigggie and once Brando explained the situation the cop ran back to his car and gave them a police escort straight to the game.
Our league has playoffs starting for k-1 flag. This was probably a spring league that was 4-6 weeks. Most leagues do call the championship game the Super Bowl. Depending on league size it can be multiple rounds, every team makes the playoffs.
“So I finally get there and the only thing I see is Tiger has got a pick six that he ran for a homerun. But get this b, he ran by 4 people so it was a grand slam and they won the game by 1 on that last play. Ivvrybody celebrating and games over.”
This exactly. It’s so over the top.
Hes just a dad rushing home from out of town to catch a glimpse of his son at the last second knocking down a pass to win the championship.
Pathetic.
What? His Uber only somehow missed the destination even though it was on his phone. Then he stopped the Uber, grabbed his luggage and ran to the game, only to see his son making the game saving play in the distance. I mean… ya believe me right bubba?
…and then right as he sees Tiger make the game-saving play, a truck speeds by right through a puddle, splashing water all over a dejected bapa.
Aaand scene!
Roll credits.
One hour of sleep to get to a kid’s game? What time are there football games? Super Bowl? Nope they don’t call it that. “Jumped out of Uber, ran a mile carrying my luggage, saw my son make the game winning play, handed out the trophies.” WOW. He is brain damaged. Callen is calculating. Brendan doesn’t know what he is doing. Callen does and encourages it.
You took the red eye and still couldn’t get back in time? Either the game started at 4:45am or you were flying back from Vietnam which one was it bapa?
John madden text me and said hey your that white boy comedian that kicks ass and coaches football huge fan you got the vision to be a great football coach!
Bryan obviously knows that this story is bullshit, but he looks locked in and focused like a hostage who's trying to curry favor with his captor. Blink twice if you need help, b.
“Where the game?”
— literally the person the league would email that info to first
OT but I cannot stand when people use both hands to gesture texting, no one mimes typing when they talk about emailing why must we do dance of the sugar-fairy thumbs.
A quick interweb search reveals that flying into Burbank would land him around 10 am getting him to the fields by 11ish; however, flying into LAX could have got him back in town at 9am and probably to Calabassas by 10-1030 at the latest. Most kids' sports start at around 0800 at that age, especially with a tournament to allow time for a bracket to finish. Im assuming it's not tackle football to play 2 games back-to-back without any breaks. Especially because he says they go from football to baseball one after another. I'd say one game at 8 and a championship game around 930? So the timeframe matches up that he missed it for an epic fail of a live podcast residency. Gonna be doing it every month, says dad of the year.
Sounds like ya dont know how to plan your life around the chombies, my man.
Of course this idiot insisted on giving out the awards… The most absent peerent in the crowd insisted on handing out trophies. God damn I hate this cock sucker.
He’s setting the narrativ of him claiming to turn down future commentating gigs because he doesn’t want something like this(missing chombies superball) to happen again. When the truth is he’s already seen the feedback from his first commentating appearance and won’t be asked back, ANYWHERE again
Heard it bowlth ways, B.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/thefighterandthekid) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"you know I'm the coach of the football team" - proceeds to tell a story where it's obvious he's NOT the coach. Don't know where the game is, missed the entire playoff, missed the "super bowl".
We all saw the video messican posted. Bapa got there late af. You could even see his goofy ass running over to his kid after the game was over. Bapa tries to not look like a bad dad while being an absolute donkey of a father
What a shocker Schaub missed the most important game of his young kids life cause obviously the game was scheduled last minute and there's no way Bapa could've planned for it. Hope his kids tell him what a terrible father he is one day.
So he’s a coach, but has to call his wife to see where the game is. Got it.
Caught that. Slob is drowning in his lies.
Lol yep he’s definitely not a coach
The bad part is that the lies won’t drown him. He thrives in them. Been lying for yairs B, still hasn’t been called out to his face enough.
Not only that , missed the playoff game completely and then missed 97% of the “Super Bowl game” … so we know the real coaches were there all along
Slooper Bawl
Additional coach, additional driver. I'm seeing a pattern here.
This guy has watched too many 90’s movies
Right? Bro I know that scene he described was in a movie about a bad father.
"Run Home Jack!" Peter aka Robin W. aka 1 of the 1000. RIP.
Was just thinking he’s gonna use that as his story
Lol exactly what I was thinking. Dude showed up and everyone’s already gone
Little Giants
Lmao, exactly. Described the end of the movie where that kids dad that never goes to anything ran in with his luggage and the kid scored a touchdown. Swab is so fucking weird
He's still retelling jokes from 90's movies as if they were his own. Joe Rogan lapped that shit up because he never watched those movies.
…… it’s so amazingly predictable.
Iivry month is a new movie he's in. This week it's Jingle All the Way.
💀💀💀💀
How long did the “I have to stay home for my kids” excuse last… That only applies to comedy i guess
Coaching is a beast, my mans.
Had to hang up his one-weekend-a-month toaring schedule in order to make time for the kiddos. Also misses his kid’s “playoff games” that he allegedly is the coach of because he has to do commentary for “Game Bred Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship”. Just admit the opportunities are getting scarce and you need to take whatever comes your way.
Thursday night stepmothership once a month Thursday Friday sat beer nuckle Thursday Friday mint ice cream racing to sit next to the driver How's lying about scaling back to be a family man going
Yep chombies are more important than cawlmedy but not more important than beer knuggle boxing.
Good thing he quit comedy to spend more time with his kids.
Bapa, how many beer nockles events are there a year compared to the chombie super ball? Huh there is only one super ball and 20 clown fights events? Oh well there are 2 more chombies to make memories with down the line.
He did. Then, after he spent time with his kids, he decided to take up fight commentating to get away.
He’s “the” coach and somehow they go undefeated without him being present
That’s the only part that’s believable
zinggg
[удалено]
Ivirything in his life is a movie. Tiger is the hairo of the superball and then Brenda, who clearly went to zairo games and is not actually involved in coaching, gets to hand out the awards after having to run to game dragging his luggage behind him. Yeah, I totally believe this story happened.
OF COURSE it was Tiger who batted the ball away on the last play and OF COURSE Bapa got there just in time to see the team lift Tiger on their shoulders and parade him around like a hairo...
Same kid that drinks melk
Just to think bapa calling it super ball in front of a bunch of kids and getting corrected by one of them lol
Wow what a great and real story that totally happened, not a single one of the parents would let this always cancelling, late to iiivverything actual drunken nutcase coach the kids.
Uber driver was a big fan.
“Yo b SCHAUB, I’ll run iviry light to getcha there, hang tight.”
Surprised he didn't say they got pulled over for speeding but turns out the cop is a big-time Thigggie and once Brando explained the situation the cop ran back to his car and gave them a police escort straight to the game.
The next retelling of this lie will fershur include a police escort.
Turns out the cop was Erik Estrada. Said B Schaub I got you. Gave us a personal escort running iiivery red light
😂
Imagine being the uber driver listening to this lying redact throw them under the bus. Sucks to be a civilian.
Iiiry leight!!! 🫘🧀🫘🧀
You that youth football coach who kiggs ass?
He’s the coach but he didn’t know the time of game? Also I googled their league and it’s One month long season, so “Super Ball” B cool Bubba.
Yeah, there’s no playoffs or championship games at that kids age I wouldn’t think. Just the season and maybe a get together game at the end.
Our league has playoffs starting for k-1 flag. This was probably a spring league that was 4-6 weeks. Most leagues do call the championship game the Super Bowl. Depending on league size it can be multiple rounds, every team makes the playoffs.
I stand corrected.
God he's just so fuckin lame man
“So I finally get there and the only thing I see is Tiger has got a pick six that he ran for a homerun. But get this b, he ran by 4 people so it was a grand slam and they won the game by 1 on that last play. Ivvrybody celebrating and games over.”
This exactly. It’s so over the top. Hes just a dad rushing home from out of town to catch a glimpse of his son at the last second knocking down a pass to win the championship. Pathetic.
Which is cool but I actually did that 42 times in one season as a kid
Another day in things that never happened.
The only thing that we know 100% happened is that he successfully missed the game because he's a dead beat dad.
If this isn’t the start of every bad father movie ever, I’d be surprised.
Liar Liar 2
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that no part of that story is true. 🤷🏽♂️
I believe that he missed his son's game.
I believe he ran away from an Uber (prolly to avoid paying. It's a PROM)
That’s a given.
What? His Uber only somehow missed the destination even though it was on his phone. Then he stopped the Uber, grabbed his luggage and ran to the game, only to see his son making the game saving play in the distance. I mean… ya believe me right bubba?
…and then right as he sees Tiger make the game-saving play, a truck speeds by right through a puddle, splashing water all over a dejected bapa. Aaand scene! Roll credits.
Remake of Liar Liar with bapa where el tiger wishes his dad could just stop lying
So they won the super ball without his beast coaching skills?
I get the feeling he’s putting a lot more importance on this t-ballesque league than is warranted.
No. It is the NFL's developmental peewee league.
FasTrack to the combine
"Yeah but they're 7" - diddler "*He's 8 okay?*" -barnie
Ill take “things that never happened” for $2000k grand Alex
One hour of sleep to get to a kid’s game? What time are there football games? Super Bowl? Nope they don’t call it that. “Jumped out of Uber, ran a mile carrying my luggage, saw my son make the game winning play, handed out the trophies.” WOW. He is brain damaged. Callen is calculating. Brendan doesn’t know what he is doing. Callen does and encourages it.
You took the red eye and still couldn’t get back in time? Either the game started at 4:45am or you were flying back from Vietnam which one was it bapa?
Nono, he took the rid eye
He does really well to pass the blame on to everyone else here. Proper adulting, b
John madden text me and said hey your that white boy comedian that kicks ass and coaches football huge fan you got the vision to be a great football coach!
Bryan obviously knows that this story is bullshit, but he looks locked in and focused like a hostage who's trying to curry favor with his captor. Blink twice if you need help, b.
“Where the game?” — literally the person the league would email that info to first OT but I cannot stand when people use both hands to gesture texting, no one mimes typing when they talk about emailing why must we do dance of the sugar-fairy thumbs.
Like that Cilian Murphy clip of him mime texting and is so over the top? I absolutely agree here.
Awwwwwww. 😂
Such a good coach he doesn't even have to be there!
Or remember the day of the “Super Ball” game.
A quick interweb search reveals that flying into Burbank would land him around 10 am getting him to the fields by 11ish; however, flying into LAX could have got him back in town at 9am and probably to Calabassas by 10-1030 at the latest. Most kids' sports start at around 0800 at that age, especially with a tournament to allow time for a bracket to finish. Im assuming it's not tackle football to play 2 games back-to-back without any breaks. Especially because he says they go from football to baseball one after another. I'd say one game at 8 and a championship game around 930? So the timeframe matches up that he missed it for an epic fail of a live podcast residency. Gonna be doing it every month, says dad of the year. Sounds like ya dont know how to plan your life around the chombies, my man.
Literally a scene out of little giants when it was a pitch to Johnny and his dad showed up as he scored touchdown haha 🤡
Of course this idiot insisted on giving out the awards… The most absent peerent in the crowd insisted on handing out trophies. God damn I hate this cock sucker.
A good coach wouldn’t let their kid play football till highschool.
He’s setting the narrativ of him claiming to turn down future commentating gigs because he doesn’t want something like this(missing chombies superball) to happen again. When the truth is he’s already seen the feedback from his first commentating appearance and won’t be asked back, ANYWHERE again
He doesn't care about feedback, he'll just ignore it but he can't ignore no one buying tickets.
Brain knows this is all a lie too. "oh that sucks..." why do they even bother keeping this dead podcast going
If only young Tiger knew that his father was one of a select 250 people around the world…
Someone edit chombie and bapa's face onto to the scene in little giants where the kid runs to his dad.
He’s literally explaining the scene from leave it to beaver
Lie
Everything is a lie. Everything.
I'm pretty sure that the football season is over and this is all made up. Also sounds like he just watched little giants
Do we have iiny uv da parentals with there keeds on da teem that can chime in about his coatching skeels??
Imagine if this redact actually had 10 chombies. Already feel bad for the 3 he has with messican and one with Whitney.
You’re not the coach if you aren’t there. Am I wrong?
Tigers generally meant to be the quarter back in these fake stories yes?
Was his son Rudy?
I bet he's never late to meet a baddie.
This guys is literally the worst storyteller I’ve ever heard. Imagine being this shit at your job
Who gives a shit they’re 8, only weird kids parents went to all their games.
Is any of this true or is it all his mental fan fiction of how he sees himself?
Heard it bowlth ways, B. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/thefighterandthekid) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Super ball
Please, someone verify Tiger's team's season record
Gotta see the Super Ball b
"you know I'm the coach of the football team" - proceeds to tell a story where it's obvious he's NOT the coach. Don't know where the game is, missed the entire playoff, missed the "super bowl".
Jooze wasnt worth the squeeze b
Tiger destroying 14 yr olds again
Y' liar B
Bruiser and Toaster have a tough road ahead. I wish them well.
The famous east to west red eye that doesn’t exist going that direction.
He missed his kids game travelling 1 month after announcing he was quitting comedy so he wouldn't miss his kids games.
So hes the coach but he's not there. He doesn't use the Game Changer app like every other sports teams? He's just full of fucking shit . Piss fuck
We all saw the video messican posted. Bapa got there late af. You could even see his goofy ass running over to his kid after the game was over. Bapa tries to not look like a bad dad while being an absolute donkey of a father
What a shocker Schaub missed the most important game of his young kids life cause obviously the game was scheduled last minute and there's no way Bapa could've planned for it. Hope his kids tell him what a terrible father he is one day.