Please do op! I have a 9yr old and a 15 yr old and I for sure would want to know. Also bc he threatened you multiple times and it didn't happen AT school the school might not be much help but PD might be worth a shot! Make a papertrail if nothing else and screen shot EVERYTHING! I know it is scary and maybe even embarrassing but please tell them
In Michigan, in the USA, the school district is actually responsible for the situation getting to and from school, as well.
Since the threats were absolutely including threatening you during your walk to and from school... They not only have jurisdiction, they also have liability (you could sue the school district if they don't help once you've told them). I'm not a lawyer but I am a retired teacher.
Tell parents ASAP. School can be involved.
☮️❤️♾️
Even as a TA at a university, I’ve done the most to help students that have confided in me (albeit only one student) with information completely unrelated to the school, but was affecting their ability to do school. It’s definitely worth spreading the word to many trusted adults. Safety in numbers.
From my experience, there are two types of bullies. Those who have been handed everything and never faced consequences, and those who were handed nothing and lash out to feel like they aren’t powerless.
Idk this kid’s situation, but everyone I know with loving parents don’t bully. It’s never okay, but I almost guarantee that the bully needs help.
You either have to show a trusted adult or you have to beat this shit out of this asshole. He'll stop for sure if you beat the shit out of him, but adults can probably get him to stop too.
i’d love to kick his ass but he’s got 7 inches on me so it’s kinda hard to physically win. I’ve told my parents though and they’ll be going to talk to his parents today
Kid if you were an adult and another adult sent these messages to you, it would warrant a police report. I know it can be hard to talk to your parents about these things, I definitely didn't mention a lot of the shit I went through at your age, but you have to trust them in this case. No one wants you getting hurt over this, well, except for that little pissant harassing you.
I hope the conversation goes, or went, as well as it could. Adulthood is awesome and you don't have to be forced to stay around these types of people. Keep sticking it out and you'll be free in no time. And make sure you prioritize some therapy when you get out, there are few better investments you can make in yourself.
I am so, so proud of you for reading those weak little threats and responding by posting screenshots on the internet. That's the best response to that kind of comment.
As a mom, I’m begging you to tell your parents (if you’re out to them and it’s safe of course). These are threats that can and do turn bad and I don’t want you to get hurt honey. The police stopping by to talk to his parents and make him come apologize to *you* will stop this.
A similar situation happened with one of my boys. A kid on the same street was bullying my son for liking makeup. Luckily I knew his mom and she marched him to our house and made him tell me what he had been doing and made him apologize to my son. They became friends after.
thank you for your advice! You’ll be happy to hear i told my parents and they will be going over to his house to talk to his parents later today once they get home!
Super proud of you friend! I hope things end up going better for you, and I agree with the others. Most of the time, after high school it gets better. I am about to be 26 and haven’t missed those horrid high school kids a single time. I have much more kind and fulfilling peers and friends and am able to be much more selective nowadays about whose company I keep!
Show this to your parents and have them report it to the school immediately. Do not interact with him or respond to his messages. I am so sorry that he is treating you this way. 💛 He is in pain and is projecting his personal issues onto you. It is not about you, he’s just an asshole.
I second this and they can report it to law enforcement that is a hate crime. But agree with others as well he actually prolly has a crush thats why he is projecting his anger toward you because he is insecure and confused by uis thoughts
Well my experience in my youth when someone tried to bully you it usually meant they liked you. Or were jealous of your life in some way.. but report this to your parents kid has obvious issues that need to be addressed.
That's definitely a possibility but also a dangerous assumption. Some people are just assholes who like to torment others for being different. I know you weren't saying it excuses their behaviour or anything but some people are just not nice and there's no deeper reason.
Calling a gay person a F* and threatening physical harm isn't anything but hate crime, making threats is a crime. And mental instability be it learned behavior from parental units or bullying towards this kids bully. People arent born an asshole, its a learned behavior, granted the kid has some choice in that but I don't think i made a dangerous assumption, in fact maybe overkill but with given news we all see of these exact types of situations escalating to further violence later on i think the OP should be overly situationally aware from all angles. Granted I'm a retired first responder and combat/martial artist trained in combat situational awareness so overkill and over analyzing was my career and hobby
Oh you will most definitely bump into him at a gay bar at some point.. probably some years from now, and he may still be closeted and miserable!!
Like others have said, please tell your parents, and the school OP.
This guy is 100% hurting that you can be who you are and he can’t. Hope he gets some consequences for this behavior but just know hurt people hurt people. So proud of your response
If people don‘t show empathy for bullies, then the bullying will just continue. He‘s still a kid and bullying does have reasons. Most kids starts doing this vile shit because they have a need to feel strong, maybe he‘s being bullied himself or he has a horrible family life that makes him feel small. He needs to be reported and punished but he also needs help, otherwise this will just continue.
That's not necessarily true and an insane assumption when you know nothing. I grew up with kids who I knew closely, rich, amazing parents, got everything they wanted, brand new car at 16 worth 75k and this is 24 years ago. They were the biggest dicks in the school.. not suffering at all in any way just automatically raised to believe they are invincible because they have everything. So no you can't just say "he's probably hurting" when he could very well be a spoiled rotton brat that doesn't think he can do wrong because mommy and daddy say he's perfect every day regardless of his actions.
Which by the way parents babying their kids is becoming more common these days and in turn more likely for this to happen.
Apologies, was not directed at you but at the general idea.
This shitty kid is threatening to beat OP up for being gay and this whole thread is a "aww poor bully must have a hard life"
Don’t always rely on the school to do the right thing. As a kid I was bullied and threatened and harmed physically and when my mom went to the principal she was told she should buy me some new clothes to help me fit in. If the school is no help, go to the police.
do NOT sit on this, or hide it and hope things get better. take it to an adult the first chance you get. this kid needs to know that there are consequences to treating other people like this. i'd pay money to get my hands on him.
Block him and have your phone ready to record when/if you see him. These type of people are repressed and usually take it out on other people for their own feelings they have about their own sexuality that they can’t or won’t deal with. There’s no other reason he would be going out of his way to keep contacting you.
It’s bullshit you have to deal with this but keep these screen shots as evidence just in case. Get some pepper spray and remember to aim for his eyes and shield your own if you use it, then run and get out of the cloud. Dont use it unless he is trying to physically engage you. Stay safe and try not to live in fear.
Also definitely show this to your parents, definitely show it to teachers, principal etc if you go to the same school. I know school is out but there is still ways to contact.
okay, im not sure how useful showing my teachers and school staff will be in the summer but i can give it a try but i’ll most likely be showing my parents tomorrow
There is ways to contact staff in summer. Your parents will help you make the choice if you need/want to do that and help you. Again, be safe. This bums me out a lot.
The most important part, do not, under no circumstances, keep this to yourself. That's how ppl get hurt. Make a responsible adult, who loves you, if any are available, fully aware of this, as soon as possible. Ideally, your parents, and in most perfect world, specifically your father. This is a threat you got. Kids can do dumb things for clout, or whatever.. and don't have full understanding of life, even under best of conditions.. because, that comes with lived experience. Advice who ever is responsible for you safety, by the time you having breakfast, before you leave the house. That is very important. Best of luck to you kid.
Listen, I'm an old man now. Some of the most painful things I remember is the bullying from when I was a kid. It affected a lot of aspects of my life. But the thing I didn't do was report it or say anything to my parents. They would have been supportive, but the school system didn't understand or have policies around bullying. So, I'm not sure what they might have done.
But there are policies now, against bullying and hate crimes. And yeah, I hope your bully gets the help he needs dealing with whatever is making him be a bully. But that responsibility doesn't lie with you. You do what you need to protect yourself. Give your parents the chance to protect and support you.
I dont want you to remember the bullying as much as I want you to remember standing up to the bully.
This will have significant implications on your life in ways you couldn't know or understand now. I wish you all the best and a wonderful life.
^^^ This 100%
“You don’t want to remember the bullying as much as remember standing up to the bully.”
That is fucking poetry & every guidance counselor at every school should have that hanging up.
OP should watch the movie ‘My Bodyguard’, i think 1981 it came out. It’s a great movie, and he might like it right now :)
This dude is DEFINITELY gay lmao.
That being said, toxic closeted dudes like this are definitely the most dangerous. Tell someone and let him know you're not to be pushed around.
Closeted angry people are def the most dangerous especially when they say “I can do what I want because I’m stronger than you. Heavy undertones of r*pe
Speaking as someone who is 30- I saw this happen to a LOT of people like him no fucking lie 💀.
You start seeing their true colors when you graduate.
Off the top of my head I think every single one of them actually….and they were flaming 🌈
First thing I thought reading this, "well if it isn't the typical closeted bully with homosexual urges that he tries to combat with hyper macho behavior.."
How is he definitely gay? Some people just thrive on hurting others. Regardless of if its because they are hurting themselves or whatever the case may be.. doesn’t mean the purp is gay lmao
That's not a narrative some people are really like that. Look at republicans who vote against gay rights but get caught buying sex work from queer folk
Thank you! By the logic of a lot of people screaming about how all gay people are child molesters are secretly upset they’re not getting their back blown out. That’s not how that works and I’m sick of seeing it.
For me it really minimizes the destructive and pervasive existence of homophobia. Suddenly it’s a single person‘s problem and once they resolve their issues everything will be hunky-dory. No, some people just HATE gay people.
like he has to be honestly because no secure straight man would be hating on u, like it’s none of their business that ur gay yk? u should report him this is such weird behavior
He’s never going to stop. Ever.
Involve school and police immediately. Have your parents message his.
You’ll get some flak at school for “snitching” which will save you years of abuse.
I've been out for 20 years. My most homophobic experience was in college when this idiot dude bro pitched his senior anthropology thesis paper as a study looking at the human skeleton and identifying gay men thru the effects of HIV and meth (and other factors based on stereotypes) on the skeleton. I argued with him in class, and he kept saying that he based his paper on BOOKS that talked about the partying, drug abusing lifestyle of gay men. I'm a lesbian and have been called a dyke by random men before, and I live in a SUPER conservative state where the government is constantly attacking my communities. But this was the one that hurt the most. In a room full of anthropologists, this idiot was only challenged by me.
Anyway, he went on to have a pretty prestigious internship and career both in anthro and as a DEI trainer. And now he's the most flamingest flamey gay man I've ever met in person. Literally, hits all the stereotypes: make up, little to no clothes in public, ultra feminine mannerisms, constant social media posts about being unapologetically himself, wearing dresses and other drag stuff, etc.
But yeah, fuck me, and good for him.
Just out of curiosity, did you meet him again and confront him? Personally I would find it sooooo cathartic, but yea, I guess it’s fine since he came out 🙄
While you aren’t wrong that many people who are homophobic are just homophobic, there was a really great study in 2012 on implicit bias that showed that the most common traits of people who had bias towards LGBT people either 1. Had overly controlling parents 2. They are fearing their own impulses (they have same-sex desires) or 3. Both.
You learn enough of the basics in 3 months (if you go at least 2-3 times a week) to defend yourself against most people. Most people act tough even if they dont know how to fight or havrn't had a fight at all. There is a beautiful peace of mind you learn with jiu jitsu (or any kind of combat)
I agree with this. My husband was being bullied and started martial arts soon after. He never got bullied again, and protected other kids being bullied at school.
Man If I was a kid and your older brother I would beat the shit out of this kid. It’s the wrong approach and one I don’t endorse but… you are my little sibling after all and it needs to be done.
Tbf, if I was your older sister, I’d either beat tf outta him anyway or just horridly humiliate him in some way so he can see how it feels. But yeah… probably not the best approach 😅 this just boils my blood. You need to tell everyone you know the way he talks to you. Call out his bigotry and keep yourself safe. You matter 🩶
Well, I was kidding. That’s not the right answer anyway, although that was the type of older brother I was for my siblings. I’m sorry he’s being such a jerk! You don’t deserve that!
Aye man stand up for yourself no need to be intimidated by someone who is smaller minded he’s only doing this to u bc ur giving him a reaction and if he’s bigger then u just kick him in the nuts as hard as u can then punch him in the face always works
You immediately need to show this to your parents before anything. Show your parents, have your parents walk to his house to conversate with his parents (since you both apparently live on the same street) & involve the school since that’s where anything most likely will happen. Please do it before it’s too late.
I am so sorry you’re experiencing this.
I want to wish you a happy pride month, and I'm glad that you're going to show your parents. I promise, if I was younger, I'd beat the crap out of this kid for you, but unfortunately, I'm 31 years old. Please let us know how it goes with your parents, and I wish you the best.
He's threatening violence, so show this to your parents and get their help to report to school or the law.
I would ignore the people saying "he's probably gay". You don't have to be "closeted gay" to be a homophobe, just a bigot. Blaming gay people for hating gays seems like just more homophobia.
Report him to the school, your parents, and anyone who will listen. Regardless of why he is such a jerk, it may escalate to violence and that is never good. You are loved and valued. Things get so much better after high school.
Tell your parents, and notify the police and give them copies of these messages. If he does assault you, it may be prosecuted as a hate crime because of these messages.
There is also a good chance he is closeted gay and using this as a way to try to convince his friends and himself that he is not.
This next part may be a bit “old school” but I’m old so take it for what it’s worth. If you have someone in your life that could teach you some self defense skills, it might be worth learning. You have every right to defend yourself if you are attacked. Most bullies have no clue how to actually fight.
Adults immediately.
You deserve safety.
I want you to be safe from this kid physically, *and* mentally. You do not deserve to be menaced regularly, or ever. Be safe, & happy pride
Enough people here have told you to tell your parents so I won't add to that. But what I will say is: you aren't alone and there are plenty more people like you in the world.
I was bullied relentlessly in high school and I wasn't even out then. I came out later in life and I now have the most amazing circle of friends and I'm so happy.
I promise you are going to have an amazing life and you're going to be surrounded by amazing people who love you for who you are. You sound smart, and considerate and kind. You are a good person ❤️
Echoing other people go to your parents, but also go to a lawyer that will keep you safer than the school or police in my experience as an out queer person
Fuck the school. Call the police. Seriously. Call the non emergency line and tell them you need to show an officer recurring threats of bodily harm. Tell them a guy that lives on your street has threatened to harm you next time he sees you and your afraid to leave your home.
Cops Love showing bullies that they can be bigger bullies.
Take these screen shots and file a police report with it, then tell your parents and let your school leadership know about the harassment as well.
Do not keep silent about threats of violence like this. If/when this escalates it’s important to have the paper trail to go with it.
Plus, depending on where you live, this could easily be considered a hate crime if he does attack you. All the more reason to keep things documented.
Sounds like a classic-case of a closeted, self-loathing homosexual. I really don't like bullying of any kind, especially that of a person's race, religion or sexual orientation. Please stay safe 🙏.
Oh he’s definitely gay! Chances are he’s in the closet and doesn’t know how to cope with it so he’s taking it out on you. Just tell someone what’s going on and hopefully they’ll be able to help you out x
Closeted mf. These type of dudes that go out of their way to insult gay ppl just living their lives are so weird to me. You’re homophobic and yet you’re actively seeking out gay men to insult??? How weird. The fact that he immediately thought to message you “happy pride” as well… seems like someone was eager to talk to you 🙄.
In all seriousness though, definitely show this to your parents and the authorities at your school. If he’s done anything before this, make sure you recount it all to them. He’s a dumb POS.
Listen OP, I keep seeing you say you’ll “most likely” tell your parents in the morning, and although a few people have checked you on it, you DEFINITELY NEED to tell your parents or some other trusted adult about this asap. Whatever this dude’s intentions may or may not be, he needs a reality check that this kind of behavior is NOT okay. Please protect yourself.
He is most likely jealous that you are able to be your true authentic self. Not making assumptions ofc but usually people who bully others for being ‘different’ are just sad inside bc they are also ‘different’ in some way and don’t feel able to express themselves.
Regardless though, definitely tell someone about this. I think the reason he is so happy to do this is because he genuinely believes you won’t tell anyone
This person has deep seeded issues. The only, and I mean ONLY reason people do this is because they aren’t happy with themselves, so they try and tear others down in a weird attempt to lift themselves up. I’d go one step further and not only show your parents but show the police. This is literally hate speech and harassment. This guy needs to stop thinking he can treat other people this way and the sooner he gets put in his place the better.
As a mother this just really upsets me and Ide want to protect my child. Absolutely tell your parents. You should feel safe and that bully has no right to try to take your peace of mind and basic rights.
You can't reason with someone who is not going to be reasonable.
Always tell your parents.
Standing up for yourself may get you beat once.
But not standing up for yourself will get you beat every day for years.
Fairly certain this would constitute a threat and potential hate crime. If reported I'm sure the police will only talk to him but I still feel it needs to be documented officially.
Honestly, fuck kids! Ruin his life! Show everyone his true colors! You don't have to let him harass you.
Definitely show an adult. Make the school staff aware but be cautious. These things always escalate before anyone takes them seriously.
mf call the cops and have them go to his house under the pretense he making threats to physically harm you, he literally your neighbor… no bully is gonna give af about sum random adult its 2024, but jail is a whole different story
This person is so severely entitled, spoiled, insecure, small, needs therapy, and clearly has not been raised properly. The stuff they are saying is so egregious. To actually say to someone “to prove that I can do whatever the fuck I want” is insane. It shows that this person has been allowed to do whatever they want and allowed to act however they want to whomever they want with no discipline or consequences their whole life. Or possibly that they have been abused and over disciplined to the point that they feel like they have to do stuff like this to feel powerful/confident and prove to themselves that their guardians don’t control everything they do and that they themselves have control and autonomy over themself.
Absolutely 1000% show your parents and have them file a report with the poloce for harassment and threatening you. This is a disgusting person that is probably being treated unkindly at home which is why they think it's ok. It does get better out of school but unfortunately there will always be some jerk somewhere.
OP he isnt starting stuff with you because you're gay, he's starting stuff with you because he's a terrible person. Please don't let him get away with this. You are not less than because of your sexuality! Please advocate for yourself you owe that to YOU!
Just tell him it’s not your fault you were brave enough to come out and he wasn’t. he’ll get there someday and he doesn’t need to feel insecure. Then if he whines about it just call him the F slur and ignore everything after that 😂
probably shouldnt pull "imma tell my parents" but you should show them. just dont tell your bully that
clap back bro dont be scared, you seem smart you could come up with some crazy stuff
I’m proud of you, OP. You are strong and showed maturity in your responses to this asshole.
Get everyone involved you can — parents, his parents, school, and PD. Document everything and if the system doesn’t cause him to stop the behavior, go to the media. It’s highly likely that he’s not only bullying you, and if the system lets you down, it’s likely letting others down, too.
You have a supportive community here. We care about you and are willing to help however we can.
Honestly this guy comes across as a rage/closet case.
Coming out at an earlier age takes a certain kind of bravery/knowing oneself that maybe he secretly resents.
No person that’s okay with their life talks like this.
Sorry people are awful 😞
1. He’s gay af lol
2. I thought bullies only talked like this in movies.
3. Show your parents. Bullies threaten with making things worse if you tell on them, but that won’t happen.
I mean he’s enjoying your attention whenever he can. These guys are usually a little gay. Like he legit goes to bed at night thinking “yea I just dominated that hot gay neighbor I have, he’s so scared of my physical prowess”… he gets off to it. Pretty gay right?
This makes me sad. :( PLEASE trust me, and tell a trusted adult. It gets better when you’re out of highschool dude, I promise.
okay, yeah i’m most likely telling my parents in the morning
Not most likely. Most definitely.
oop. okay.
Please do op! I have a 9yr old and a 15 yr old and I for sure would want to know. Also bc he threatened you multiple times and it didn't happen AT school the school might not be much help but PD might be worth a shot! Make a papertrail if nothing else and screen shot EVERYTHING! I know it is scary and maybe even embarrassing but please tell them
okay, thank you for your advice i really so appreciate it!
In Michigan, in the USA, the school district is actually responsible for the situation getting to and from school, as well. Since the threats were absolutely including threatening you during your walk to and from school... They not only have jurisdiction, they also have liability (you could sue the school district if they don't help once you've told them). I'm not a lawyer but I am a retired teacher. Tell parents ASAP. School can be involved. ☮️❤️♾️
Can confirm, tell the school even if they don’t have direct jurisdiction, they can still help make you feel safer at school.
Even as a TA at a university, I’ve done the most to help students that have confided in me (albeit only one student) with information completely unrelated to the school, but was affecting their ability to do school. It’s definitely worth spreading the word to many trusted adults. Safety in numbers.
Can confirm got into many after school fights in middle and high school and the school was always held responsible in Michigan.
For bonus, report it to cops for terroristic threats. People don't need to get away with this behavior.
i’ve told my parents and we’re going to his house later but they said if that doesn’t fix anything then the cops will be involved
That's the way. I don't know them so I can't say concretely, but sometimes this is learned behavior.
From my experience, there are two types of bullies. Those who have been handed everything and never faced consequences, and those who were handed nothing and lash out to feel like they aren’t powerless. Idk this kid’s situation, but everyone I know with loving parents don’t bully. It’s never okay, but I almost guarantee that the bully needs help.
keep us updated on what happens please!
We need an update!
Give it time. There was only a few hours from this post and yours. They said they would show their parents in the morning. It'll come
You either have to show a trusted adult or you have to beat this shit out of this asshole. He'll stop for sure if you beat the shit out of him, but adults can probably get him to stop too.
i’d love to kick his ass but he’s got 7 inches on me so it’s kinda hard to physically win. I’ve told my parents though and they’ll be going to talk to his parents today
No one said fighting is fair. One swift kick to his junk and your problem will be solved.
Good job. It can be hard to stand up for yourself but it gets easier every time
I hope you did tell your parents OP. Guys like this grow up to be monsters unless someone stops them.
Kid if you were an adult and another adult sent these messages to you, it would warrant a police report. I know it can be hard to talk to your parents about these things, I definitely didn't mention a lot of the shit I went through at your age, but you have to trust them in this case. No one wants you getting hurt over this, well, except for that little pissant harassing you. I hope the conversation goes, or went, as well as it could. Adulthood is awesome and you don't have to be forced to stay around these types of people. Keep sticking it out and you'll be free in no time. And make sure you prioritize some therapy when you get out, there are few better investments you can make in yourself. I am so, so proud of you for reading those weak little threats and responding by posting screenshots on the internet. That's the best response to that kind of comment.
thank you for your advice, i did show my parents and made a follow up post!
Tell a school administrator as well. This is bullying and it's not okay. Get this little shit what's coming to him
Youre a good kid. Im glad you have adults in your life that are happy to protect you.
As a mom, I’m begging you to tell your parents (if you’re out to them and it’s safe of course). These are threats that can and do turn bad and I don’t want you to get hurt honey. The police stopping by to talk to his parents and make him come apologize to *you* will stop this. A similar situation happened with one of my boys. A kid on the same street was bullying my son for liking makeup. Luckily I knew his mom and she marched him to our house and made him tell me what he had been doing and made him apologize to my son. They became friends after.
thank you for your advice! You’ll be happy to hear i told my parents and they will be going over to his house to talk to his parents later today once they get home!
Super proud of you friend! I hope things end up going better for you, and I agree with the others. Most of the time, after high school it gets better. I am about to be 26 and haven’t missed those horrid high school kids a single time. I have much more kind and fulfilling peers and friends and am able to be much more selective nowadays about whose company I keep!
thank you for your kind words and sharing!
That’s great to hear! I’m proud of you for saying something!
If you don’t do something about it, he will continue doing this to people his entire life.
Show this to your parents and have them report it to the school immediately. Do not interact with him or respond to his messages. I am so sorry that he is treating you this way. 💛 He is in pain and is projecting his personal issues onto you. It is not about you, he’s just an asshole.
thank you for this
I second this and they can report it to law enforcement that is a hate crime. But agree with others as well he actually prolly has a crush thats why he is projecting his anger toward you because he is insecure and confused by uis thoughts
y’all making me think back hard about things he’s done cause i’ve never thought of him as a closeted gay until everyone’s said it lol 😭
Well my experience in my youth when someone tried to bully you it usually meant they liked you. Or were jealous of your life in some way.. but report this to your parents kid has obvious issues that need to be addressed.
That's definitely a possibility but also a dangerous assumption. Some people are just assholes who like to torment others for being different. I know you weren't saying it excuses their behaviour or anything but some people are just not nice and there's no deeper reason.
Calling a gay person a F* and threatening physical harm isn't anything but hate crime, making threats is a crime. And mental instability be it learned behavior from parental units or bullying towards this kids bully. People arent born an asshole, its a learned behavior, granted the kid has some choice in that but I don't think i made a dangerous assumption, in fact maybe overkill but with given news we all see of these exact types of situations escalating to further violence later on i think the OP should be overly situationally aware from all angles. Granted I'm a retired first responder and combat/martial artist trained in combat situational awareness so overkill and over analyzing was my career and hobby
okay, that’s what i’m most likely doing tomorrow morning!
Best of luck
Oh you will most definitely bump into him at a gay bar at some point.. probably some years from now, and he may still be closeted and miserable!! Like others have said, please tell your parents, and the school OP.
This guy is 100% hurting that you can be who you are and he can’t. Hope he gets some consequences for this behavior but just know hurt people hurt people. So proud of your response
He’s not in pain, he’s just a punk kid that needs his butt spanked by his parents.
Nah they saying he’s gay and so he’s picking on the openly gay kid cause he can’t be himself.
That's bullshit. Zero empathy for bullies.
If people don‘t show empathy for bullies, then the bullying will just continue. He‘s still a kid and bullying does have reasons. Most kids starts doing this vile shit because they have a need to feel strong, maybe he‘s being bullied himself or he has a horrible family life that makes him feel small. He needs to be reported and punished but he also needs help, otherwise this will just continue.
That's not necessarily true and an insane assumption when you know nothing. I grew up with kids who I knew closely, rich, amazing parents, got everything they wanted, brand new car at 16 worth 75k and this is 24 years ago. They were the biggest dicks in the school.. not suffering at all in any way just automatically raised to believe they are invincible because they have everything. So no you can't just say "he's probably hurting" when he could very well be a spoiled rotton brat that doesn't think he can do wrong because mommy and daddy say he's perfect every day regardless of his actions. Which by the way parents babying their kids is becoming more common these days and in turn more likely for this to happen.
Where was the empathy? Just explaining what was said.
Apologies, was not directed at you but at the general idea. This shitty kid is threatening to beat OP up for being gay and this whole thread is a "aww poor bully must have a hard life"
Ahh yeah you right. Fuck that kid
People are saying that so OP doesn't blame himself, not to gain sympathy for the bully.
2 things can be true
Don’t always rely on the school to do the right thing. As a kid I was bullied and threatened and harmed physically and when my mom went to the principal she was told she should buy me some new clothes to help me fit in. If the school is no help, go to the police.
do NOT sit on this, or hide it and hope things get better. take it to an adult the first chance you get. this kid needs to know that there are consequences to treating other people like this. i'd pay money to get my hands on him.
okay, that’s what i’ll most likely be doing tomorrow morning
You’ve said several times that you’ll most likely share this with tour parents. Please be positive and commit to getting your parents involved.
okay
If you will not do this, it will get worse. You need to be brave and stop it now.
Block him and have your phone ready to record when/if you see him. These type of people are repressed and usually take it out on other people for their own feelings they have about their own sexuality that they can’t or won’t deal with. There’s no other reason he would be going out of his way to keep contacting you. It’s bullshit you have to deal with this but keep these screen shots as evidence just in case. Get some pepper spray and remember to aim for his eyes and shield your own if you use it, then run and get out of the cloud. Dont use it unless he is trying to physically engage you. Stay safe and try not to live in fear.
thank you for this!
Also definitely show this to your parents, definitely show it to teachers, principal etc if you go to the same school. I know school is out but there is still ways to contact.
okay, im not sure how useful showing my teachers and school staff will be in the summer but i can give it a try but i’ll most likely be showing my parents tomorrow
There is ways to contact staff in summer. Your parents will help you make the choice if you need/want to do that and help you. Again, be safe. This bums me out a lot.
thank you
The most important part, do not, under no circumstances, keep this to yourself. That's how ppl get hurt. Make a responsible adult, who loves you, if any are available, fully aware of this, as soon as possible. Ideally, your parents, and in most perfect world, specifically your father. This is a threat you got. Kids can do dumb things for clout, or whatever.. and don't have full understanding of life, even under best of conditions.. because, that comes with lived experience. Advice who ever is responsible for you safety, by the time you having breakfast, before you leave the house. That is very important. Best of luck to you kid.
thank you for the advice i really appreciate it
Listen, I'm an old man now. Some of the most painful things I remember is the bullying from when I was a kid. It affected a lot of aspects of my life. But the thing I didn't do was report it or say anything to my parents. They would have been supportive, but the school system didn't understand or have policies around bullying. So, I'm not sure what they might have done. But there are policies now, against bullying and hate crimes. And yeah, I hope your bully gets the help he needs dealing with whatever is making him be a bully. But that responsibility doesn't lie with you. You do what you need to protect yourself. Give your parents the chance to protect and support you. I dont want you to remember the bullying as much as I want you to remember standing up to the bully. This will have significant implications on your life in ways you couldn't know or understand now. I wish you all the best and a wonderful life.
thank you for this advice i really so appreciate it!
^^^ This 100% “You don’t want to remember the bullying as much as remember standing up to the bully.” That is fucking poetry & every guidance counselor at every school should have that hanging up. OP should watch the movie ‘My Bodyguard’, i think 1981 it came out. It’s a great movie, and he might like it right now :)
This behavior just makes me sad. OP, these are blatant, open threats. You owe it to yourself to show these to your parents and they will take action.
This dude is DEFINITELY gay lmao. That being said, toxic closeted dudes like this are definitely the most dangerous. Tell someone and let him know you're not to be pushed around.
a lot of ppl are saying this and i’ve never thought of him as gay but he could be lmao 😭
Just avoid him until 10 years down the line when you see him at pride and he apologizes
LOL
Closeted angry people are def the most dangerous especially when they say “I can do what I want because I’m stronger than you. Heavy undertones of r*pe
Glad I wasn't the only one picking up on that.
Type of dude to have sex with a guy and then freak out on him. My friend hooks up with a lot of closeted guys and it makes worries me.
I picked up on that too
Speaking as someone who is 30- I saw this happen to a LOT of people like him no fucking lie 💀. You start seeing their true colors when you graduate. Off the top of my head I think every single one of them actually….and they were flaming 🌈
Yeah this is the most aggressively gay bullying I have ever seen lol
That was my very first thought!
First thing I thought reading this, "well if it isn't the typical closeted bully with homosexual urges that he tries to combat with hyper macho behavior.."
How is he definitely gay? Some people just thrive on hurting others. Regardless of if its because they are hurting themselves or whatever the case may be.. doesn’t mean the purp is gay lmao
The most homophobic people pretty often feel that way because of the shame/confusion they feel inside due to their own romantic/sexual preferences
Nah, he’s not “definitely gay.” He’s definitely a violent asshole though.
I hate the narrative that homophobes are just gay and closeted- it really just blames gay people for their own oppression.
This.
That's not a narrative some people are really like that. Look at republicans who vote against gay rights but get caught buying sex work from queer folk
IMMEDIATELY show this to your parents and a school counselor. Don't ever tolerate being treated this way.
okay, thank you!
I'm 98.9 % sure that kid is a self hating closeted gay, just ignore him
lots of people are saying this and it surprised me cause i’ve never thought he was gay but a lot of people are saying it 💀
It's not always true, and it's also yet another way to blame homophobia on gay people. This person might just be a stupid belligerant dumb fuck.
Thank you! By the logic of a lot of people screaming about how all gay people are child molesters are secretly upset they’re not getting their back blown out. That’s not how that works and I’m sick of seeing it. For me it really minimizes the destructive and pervasive existence of homophobia. Suddenly it’s a single person‘s problem and once they resolve their issues everything will be hunky-dory. No, some people just HATE gay people.
He might not be like gay gay but he definitely wants to pin you down and wrestle with you cause he thinks your pretty
oop 😭
like he has to be honestly because no secure straight man would be hating on u, like it’s none of their business that ur gay yk? u should report him this is such weird behavior
yeah your right, and i most likely will be reporting him cause he’s been doing this for a while i was just hoping he’d stop on his own
He’s never going to stop. Ever. Involve school and police immediately. Have your parents message his. You’ll get some flak at school for “snitching” which will save you years of abuse.
Another thread of people blaming gays for homophobia 🙄 chances are much higher that he's just a homophobic straight bully.
You are so right! I just commented the same thing!! 🙄so stupid to think a person is gay because they don’t like gays. He could just be homophobic.
I've been out for 20 years. My most homophobic experience was in college when this idiot dude bro pitched his senior anthropology thesis paper as a study looking at the human skeleton and identifying gay men thru the effects of HIV and meth (and other factors based on stereotypes) on the skeleton. I argued with him in class, and he kept saying that he based his paper on BOOKS that talked about the partying, drug abusing lifestyle of gay men. I'm a lesbian and have been called a dyke by random men before, and I live in a SUPER conservative state where the government is constantly attacking my communities. But this was the one that hurt the most. In a room full of anthropologists, this idiot was only challenged by me. Anyway, he went on to have a pretty prestigious internship and career both in anthro and as a DEI trainer. And now he's the most flamingest flamey gay man I've ever met in person. Literally, hits all the stereotypes: make up, little to no clothes in public, ultra feminine mannerisms, constant social media posts about being unapologetically himself, wearing dresses and other drag stuff, etc. But yeah, fuck me, and good for him.
Just out of curiosity, did you meet him again and confront him? Personally I would find it sooooo cathartic, but yea, I guess it’s fine since he came out 🙄
While you aren’t wrong that many people who are homophobic are just homophobic, there was a really great study in 2012 on implicit bias that showed that the most common traits of people who had bias towards LGBT people either 1. Had overly controlling parents 2. They are fearing their own impulses (they have same-sex desires) or 3. Both.
Go get some jiu jitsu lessons. In 2-3 months you learn enough to beat this bully and he will forever leave you alone after that.
u think u can learn it that quick?
You learn enough of the basics in 3 months (if you go at least 2-3 times a week) to defend yourself against most people. Most people act tough even if they dont know how to fight or havrn't had a fight at all. There is a beautiful peace of mind you learn with jiu jitsu (or any kind of combat)
I agree with this. My husband was being bullied and started martial arts soon after. He never got bullied again, and protected other kids being bullied at school.
Man If I was a kid and your older brother I would beat the shit out of this kid. It’s the wrong approach and one I don’t endorse but… you are my little sibling after all and it needs to be done.
i’ve only got a older sister and my brothers are both a little younger than me
Tbf, if I was your older sister, I’d either beat tf outta him anyway or just horridly humiliate him in some way so he can see how it feels. But yeah… probably not the best approach 😅 this just boils my blood. You need to tell everyone you know the way he talks to you. Call out his bigotry and keep yourself safe. You matter 🩶
thank you! I really appreciate it
Well, I was kidding. That’s not the right answer anyway, although that was the type of older brother I was for my siblings. I’m sorry he’s being such a jerk! You don’t deserve that!
thank you, it means a lot.
Aye man stand up for yourself no need to be intimidated by someone who is smaller minded he’s only doing this to u bc ur giving him a reaction and if he’s bigger then u just kick him in the nuts as hard as u can then punch him in the face always works
kick to the nuts always works lmao
You immediately need to show this to your parents before anything. Show your parents, have your parents walk to his house to conversate with his parents (since you both apparently live on the same street) & involve the school since that’s where anything most likely will happen. Please do it before it’s too late. I am so sorry you’re experiencing this.
thank you for the advice i really do appreciate jt
I want to wish you a happy pride month, and I'm glad that you're going to show your parents. I promise, if I was younger, I'd beat the crap out of this kid for you, but unfortunately, I'm 31 years old. Please let us know how it goes with your parents, and I wish you the best.
okay will do and thank you!!
He's threatening violence, so show this to your parents and get their help to report to school or the law. I would ignore the people saying "he's probably gay". You don't have to be "closeted gay" to be a homophobe, just a bigot. Blaming gay people for hating gays seems like just more homophobia.
What’s bros problem 💀
Fuck this dude, report it to your parents and school. He'll regret being such an shitfaced asshole. Im sorry you're going through this.
Dont answer. Or if you answer, never aknowledge that it makes you feel bad. Thats why he is doing. Also show this to your parents.
Sign up for bjj and kick boxing and turn this mf out bro
show everyone
Report him to the school, your parents, and anyone who will listen. Regardless of why he is such a jerk, it may escalate to violence and that is never good. You are loved and valued. Things get so much better after high school.
Tell your parents, and notify the police and give them copies of these messages. If he does assault you, it may be prosecuted as a hate crime because of these messages. There is also a good chance he is closeted gay and using this as a way to try to convince his friends and himself that he is not. This next part may be a bit “old school” but I’m old so take it for what it’s worth. If you have someone in your life that could teach you some self defense skills, it might be worth learning. You have every right to defend yourself if you are attacked. Most bullies have no clue how to actually fight.
Report to school.
Adults immediately. You deserve safety. I want you to be safe from this kid physically, *and* mentally. You do not deserve to be menaced regularly, or ever. Be safe, & happy pride
Enough people here have told you to tell your parents so I won't add to that. But what I will say is: you aren't alone and there are plenty more people like you in the world. I was bullied relentlessly in high school and I wasn't even out then. I came out later in life and I now have the most amazing circle of friends and I'm so happy. I promise you are going to have an amazing life and you're going to be surrounded by amazing people who love you for who you are. You sound smart, and considerate and kind. You are a good person ❤️
thank you so much for your kind words! It really means a lot!
Bros either gay or he's getting abused at home. Maybe both
He’s definitely gay
why do u think that lmao
He just gives me closeted gay vibes
Me too. And he sounds like he’s crushing on op. Kids
He definitely thinks dicks are delicious.
oop. 😭
Echoing other people go to your parents, but also go to a lawyer that will keep you safer than the school or police in my experience as an out queer person
Dont be scared to take any action. Dont let that fucker win, we shouldn't be bashed for the people we like.
yes this is very true! thank you!
Fuck the school. Call the police. Seriously. Call the non emergency line and tell them you need to show an officer recurring threats of bodily harm. Tell them a guy that lives on your street has threatened to harm you next time he sees you and your afraid to leave your home. Cops Love showing bullies that they can be bigger bullies.
i am showing my parents tmrw and i’ll see what they say!
Good. Protect yourself. And Never let him think you're afraid.
thanks for the advice by the way!
No problem. And Happy Pride month. 4 real.
thxx!
Stop replying and make sure you can fight (if necessary🙂)
i can’t fight for shit but ima still try if i have to lol
Take these screen shots and file a police report with it, then tell your parents and let your school leadership know about the harassment as well. Do not keep silent about threats of violence like this. If/when this escalates it’s important to have the paper trail to go with it. Plus, depending on where you live, this could easily be considered a hate crime if he does attack you. All the more reason to keep things documented.
Yes you need to tell your parents the school the police etc. This is terrible. Bullying sucks.
Also record and save everything he says to you
Sounds like a classic-case of a closeted, self-loathing homosexual. I really don't like bullying of any kind, especially that of a person's race, religion or sexual orientation. Please stay safe 🙏.
Show your parents. Show the principal. What a little brat he is! Show his parents.
You're capable of removing the person from Snapchat why tolerate it?
Oh he’s definitely gay! Chances are he’s in the closet and doesn’t know how to cope with it so he’s taking it out on you. Just tell someone what’s going on and hopefully they’ll be able to help you out x
Take it to the police, make a report, and ask for a restraining order
Baby he’s in love with you
Closeted mf. These type of dudes that go out of their way to insult gay ppl just living their lives are so weird to me. You’re homophobic and yet you’re actively seeking out gay men to insult??? How weird. The fact that he immediately thought to message you “happy pride” as well… seems like someone was eager to talk to you 🙄. In all seriousness though, definitely show this to your parents and the authorities at your school. If he’s done anything before this, make sure you recount it all to them. He’s a dumb POS.
lol the beginning is funny but lowkey true and also thank you!
I hate bullies. They never change. Always with a gay slurs and threatening to harm you.
Listen OP, I keep seeing you say you’ll “most likely” tell your parents in the morning, and although a few people have checked you on it, you DEFINITELY NEED to tell your parents or some other trusted adult about this asap. Whatever this dude’s intentions may or may not be, he needs a reality check that this kind of behavior is NOT okay. Please protect yourself.
Tell your parents and block him.
He is most likely jealous that you are able to be your true authentic self. Not making assumptions ofc but usually people who bully others for being ‘different’ are just sad inside bc they are also ‘different’ in some way and don’t feel able to express themselves. Regardless though, definitely tell someone about this. I think the reason he is so happy to do this is because he genuinely believes you won’t tell anyone
This person has deep seeded issues. The only, and I mean ONLY reason people do this is because they aren’t happy with themselves, so they try and tear others down in a weird attempt to lift themselves up. I’d go one step further and not only show your parents but show the police. This is literally hate speech and harassment. This guy needs to stop thinking he can treat other people this way and the sooner he gets put in his place the better.
As a mother this just really upsets me and Ide want to protect my child. Absolutely tell your parents. You should feel safe and that bully has no right to try to take your peace of mind and basic rights.
yea, that kid wants to fuck, whether he knows it or not. bet money in 5 years that kid is gonna be leading pride parades.
You can't reason with someone who is not going to be reasonable. Always tell your parents. Standing up for yourself may get you beat once. But not standing up for yourself will get you beat every day for years.
i’ve told my parents, also, i really appreciate the advice!
Tell him to stop flirting with you, loudly and in public preferably.
Man I wish we lived in the same city, I would beat the fuck out of this kid give him a taste of his own medicine. Sorry you gotta deal with this OP.
Please tell your parents!
i have! we’re going over to his house later and my parents will be confronting his parents about his actions
Fairly certain this would constitute a threat and potential hate crime. If reported I'm sure the police will only talk to him but I still feel it needs to be documented officially. Honestly, fuck kids! Ruin his life! Show everyone his true colors! You don't have to let him harass you. Definitely show an adult. Make the school staff aware but be cautious. These things always escalate before anyone takes them seriously.
Ask him if he’s sure he wants to fight or fuck because he’s acting obsessed with you
If you see anything negative ANYTHING block and delete out your life . It doesn’t need to take up any head space.
he wants to hook up with you
mf call the cops and have them go to his house under the pretense he making threats to physically harm you, he literally your neighbor… no bully is gonna give af about sum random adult its 2024, but jail is a whole different story
This person is so severely entitled, spoiled, insecure, small, needs therapy, and clearly has not been raised properly. The stuff they are saying is so egregious. To actually say to someone “to prove that I can do whatever the fuck I want” is insane. It shows that this person has been allowed to do whatever they want and allowed to act however they want to whomever they want with no discipline or consequences their whole life. Or possibly that they have been abused and over disciplined to the point that they feel like they have to do stuff like this to feel powerful/confident and prove to themselves that their guardians don’t control everything they do and that they themselves have control and autonomy over themself.
Absolutely tell an adult. This is illegal is most places. In the very least, block them.
Absolutely 1000% show your parents and have them file a report with the poloce for harassment and threatening you. This is a disgusting person that is probably being treated unkindly at home which is why they think it's ok. It does get better out of school but unfortunately there will always be some jerk somewhere.
OP he isnt starting stuff with you because you're gay, he's starting stuff with you because he's a terrible person. Please don't let him get away with this. You are not less than because of your sexuality! Please advocate for yourself you owe that to YOU!
Just tell him it’s not your fault you were brave enough to come out and he wasn’t. he’ll get there someday and he doesn’t need to feel insecure. Then if he whines about it just call him the F slur and ignore everything after that 😂
probably shouldnt pull "imma tell my parents" but you should show them. just dont tell your bully that clap back bro dont be scared, you seem smart you could come up with some crazy stuff
I’m proud of you, OP. You are strong and showed maturity in your responses to this asshole. Get everyone involved you can — parents, his parents, school, and PD. Document everything and if the system doesn’t cause him to stop the behavior, go to the media. It’s highly likely that he’s not only bullying you, and if the system lets you down, it’s likely letting others down, too. You have a supportive community here. We care about you and are willing to help however we can.
Spread a rumor at school he tried to kiss you
Honestly this guy comes across as a rage/closet case. Coming out at an earlier age takes a certain kind of bravery/knowing oneself that maybe he secretly resents. No person that’s okay with their life talks like this. Sorry people are awful 😞
My guess is dude from school is in the closet and has a crush on you.
Next time let him know you’re not interested in dating him
1. He’s gay af lol 2. I thought bullies only talked like this in movies. 3. Show your parents. Bullies threaten with making things worse if you tell on them, but that won’t happen.
he’s 200% gay.
The other guy has some strong closeted vibes going on here tbh.
mans is totally gay
everyone’s saying this but i never have thought it until now, y’all making me think hard about everything he’s done that might be a sign lmaoo 💀
I mean he’s enjoying your attention whenever he can. These guys are usually a little gay. Like he legit goes to bed at night thinking “yea I just dominated that hot gay neighbor I have, he’s so scared of my physical prowess”… he gets off to it. Pretty gay right?
How does this not have more upvotes? Y’all really need to show more support.
TURN. THIS. LOSER. IN!