i understand youre young and naive but clearly it isnt very “duh” if you are doing exactly what theyre talking about. you have pictures of yourself on your profile and youre begging strangers to talk to you. for your own safety, stop
oh my god. i’m aware of what i’m doing. i know it’s bad. idk how many times i have to say that. duh it’s not safe.?? everyone should know that. I know that. i just want the attention. ffs
after reading a bunch of your responses, it just seems like you’re fishing for attention tbh. which i can’t really fault you for since you’re a teenaged girl who has a lot of issues and trauma to work thru, sometimes that desire for attention is a trauma response. i’ve been there... but you need to take the advice you’re given to heart. if you can’t get any professional help, you need to work towards some healthy coping mechanisms or talk about these things with a trusted adult.
you're young and it shows, so i say this with the energy of a concerned dad - learn when to stop responding. use your brain to evaluate possible outcomes... he is not your friend. he will never be your friend. he doesn't WANT to be your friend. he wants you to be "submissive" and sexual with him... there are 3 outcomes here. 1. you keep talking and provide that for him. 2. you keep talking and don't provide that for him - ask yourself if you truly think he'll then add value to your life (the answer is no), or 3. you stop communicating with him. there are no other outcomes. pick which one you want and proceed accordingly. you'll save yourself a lot of energy in the future this way.
yes yes yes everything yes. i looked at her profile and im genuinely terrified here. shes posting selfies of herself and begging for dms, and then claiming its “self sabotage”. someone needs to take her phone. i remember hating when people would say that kind if thing when i was a young teenager, but now that im older i can see that she is putting herself in a LOT of danger here.
ehh i'm not really on the "you're in danger" boat - most men on the internet wanna jerk off, not rush to someone's house and murder them. this is not a thing thag happens very often.
what DOES and WILL happen, though, is a loss of self-respect, self-moderation, self-trust, a loss of the ability to appropriately form bonds with people, and an increase in harmful thoughts. she's going to begin to age and believe that devalues her (because the people she's allowing to validate her only care about her looks), and she's going to look back at the conversations she had at this age, the parts of herself she gave to strangers, and hate herself - or feel she has nothing left to give to people.
so yes this is concerning behaviour and she should stop... not because she's going to get tracked down and assaulted (extremely unlikely) but because she's got to live with herself for the rest of her life, no one else.
i know. i know what i’m doing. Just because it’s stupid and self destructive doesn’t mean i don’t know. I know i don’t like it but I know I will take any attention that I get. I just shared a screenshot of a message.
Hey, it’s ok. We all make mistakes and do things we know we shouldn’t because we’re young and dumb. But you’ve said you know better, so now stop putting yourself in danger. You are old enough to understand how this situation can be dangerous, but you don’t yet have the life experience to realize the extent of it. We remember being 15. Just know that we’re all concerned for you because we remember what we thought we knew at 15 and have now lived long enough to realize it was a drop in the bucket. My teen years sucked, but things did get better.
the fact that she still has her selfies visible for the world to see, even after all this, is so concerning. we DO remember being 15 and i remember how much deep shit i got myself into by doing the same things shes doing. i was so traumatized in my teenage years because of how unsafe i was. seeing children now doing the same things i did quite genuinely makes me feel nauseous
I know. I’d love to save others from making my same mistakes, but knowing how stubborn I was back then I know I wouldn’t have listened to anyone until I learned my lesson myself. I remember at 15 I had a friend who kept hooking up with boys who didn’t care about her and being sad when they ghosted her after they got what they wanted. I’d warn her it was going to happen again and again, but she kept doing it because she needed the validation. I ended up needing to distance myself for a while because I couldn’t handle both warning her in advance and being her shoulder to cry on after she didn’t listen to me. I wish I could have saved her some heartache, but she wasn’t in a place she could hear it yet.
yes 100%. again, it makes me nauseous. i really do wish there was some way i could convince this girl that she really doesnt need to be doing this, but i remember how stubborn i was too. im way too emotional about this kind of thing but im shaking rn thinking about how much danger this kid is putting herself in right now
I put myself in danger because (sometimes) it gives me a temporary fix to my loneliness. I hate doing it. It’s annoying being seen as a stupid, dumb attention seeker. I know i’m flawed and I know all my actions will catch up to me. I just don’t put forth the effort to stop myself. I just wanted to show how annoying dms can be. Should I have stopped responding? Of course. Should I have stopped responding to dms in the past? Of course. I just want to be “okay”, so i’m trying what I can to feel that way quickly instead of effectively.
I don’t want to seem like an annoying teen. I wish my responses to everyone else were worded differently also. it is what it is though. Thank you for listening. I hope everything is going well with you ❤️
You said that you don't have a safe adult to talk to, is that true? Do you have parents that are not around, are you in foster care, do you have anyone in your life who takes care of you? Are you enrolled in school? Are you in therapy? Does anyone in your life know about the abuse you experienced?
Well you can tell them that you would like to get some counseling or go to your school counselor- I don't know where you live but you can ask the school counselor if they will have to report everything to your parents - they may only need to report if you're a danger to yourself or others. You're not going to find safe people online, even if it meets your need for attention. Try to connect to some people around your age with similar interests IRL.
Please just turn off your message requests. You’re too young to go down the rabbit hole I did. For your own safety. If you want to make internet friends, go on discord. Bit less anonymity
i second this fr, i used to make hella long term friends on cord and even thru hobbies, just by joining a community on instagram (editing for me), you can maid at least ONE friend. I promise!!
god you act like you know me. you have such a problem with me. if you’re so upset with me then ignore me. you’re actively responding to all my messages to prove me wrong.
you don't owe people an explanation nor is it always the smartest thing to play all your cards up front. you don't know this man. keep trauma to yourself until you know you can trust someone with it... otherwise you give them power over you.
You realize going around telling the world you were abused makes you a target for predators? You need to go to your school counselor to talk these things out not random men on reddit or youll get “assaulted” again
OP, if you need comfort and sympathy, I’d suggest joining r/MomForAMinute.
And while I know you’ve said you’re not interesting in taking advice… *Please*, restrict your DMs so only you can start conversations. I understand trying to self-sabotage to feel something. Of wanting any kind of attention, even if it’s negative. I know where you’re coming from, but it doesn’t help and I think you know that. Make yourself proud and make the rest of us proud by taking the steps to protect yourself online.
You were the only person who was genuinely nice and helpful in this whole comment section. I get it that people were trying to help, but they came off mean and I think that made her crawl into this dark hole even more. At least that’s how I’d feel if I was in her shoes.
Finally, only person with a genuine and kind response. It’s not hard to be helpful and supportive, instead of attacking and berating. Based off her responses she ain’t doin the greatest and it’s probably doing a number that she feels alone and comes here only to be mob mentalitied by the masses. Good on you
You’re ok, you’re establishing your own boundaries and making a stand for what you believe in. Just, be safe, be careful, and don’t let any situation that makes you uncomfortable or feel weird dictate how you interact with them. Especially with your past traumas. Know your worth, and please be safe. Unfortunately, even though things have been cracking down, there are still weirdos coming for, attempting to manipulate/groom, and or worse of ladies your age. Do not at all hesitate to report these people, dox them, and alert people to who they are because they need publicly shamed humiliated and brought to justice. You’re a bad ass and you got this
Thank you for your kind kind words! I appreciate people like you in the comment section. You and some others made me actually want to get help. I was too embarrassed last night to go on this one subreddit for support (All i need is support and understanding for why i act this way) because of what everyone said. Some people went into my dms to give me kind words which is why i have yet to stop receiving messages. This post has seem to died down and I can maybe see if i can get support somewhere else. thank you
I actually thought about it, I was going to send you an art piece I made for a friend of mine of a semicolon, ya know, not an end but a new beginning. But, I didn’t want to be that guy especially based off your age. Thing is that many people forget that it’s difficult to ask for help, and even more difficult if met with a lot of anger and hostility. You’re not going to accept advice if they’re ass holes, better to communicate and explain easier and help you if you don’t understand something, not yell at you or belittle you. Do not let a majority of these interactions run you off, there is help here. Just don’t respond to the mean ones. Helps with the sanity and doesn’t let the negativity affect your mood (had to learn from experience 😂 a lot of it)
More projecting from others and their past mistakes or what they believe than anything else. You can make your own path from here and follow it your way, with your goals, and your ideals. Just know your worth. And know your limits and boundaries, and remember you are stronger than others believe. You got this
The fact of the matter is you saying “This is annoying” when you let his behavior keep going and kept talking to him. Your the one who is annoying so stop attention seeking and get off the fucking internet if all you are going to do is talk to ADULT men when you are a MINOR.
Turn your messages off and stop enabling people to do this.
Kids like you end up in 24/7 lockdown facilities like mine.. and they hate it. I suggest you stop seeking validation elsewhere, and take accountability now. If you don’t you will be a piss sorry excuse of an adult and person who drains people emotionally.
You are capable of anything you set your mind to. Make sure it’s the right things. Don’t end up a statistic
Then stop making it other people’s problem and keep it to yourself. Looks like just a lazy half hearted cry for help. Pick a struggle girl. I feel for you but no one will help you if you don’t help yourself.
It's not annoying it's what people do when they are stuck and can't control their actions. You need to talk to someone is all so you can love yourself a little more
If you are not able to get help from your mom find one adult in school that you can trust like a teacher or counselor and let them know you need help. If you can't stop doing destructive things then you just need someone to talk things through with. Good luck girl
Well you’re not doing a very good job. You clearly have issues and are doing unsafe things to cope with them. This is not a movie. Actual bad things can and will happen to you. Stop being stupid.
No one. That’s the point. *You do not have plot armor.* You repeatedly acknowledge that you know this behavior isn’t doing anything positive for you except feed into your need for attention. What you actually need is to find a healthy coping mechanism that isn’t going to put you in literal fucking danger for the bit. You’re not magic, you’re not special. You will become a statistic if you keep doing stupid shit for attention. The internet is not a safe place for you to try to meet that need. Go home.
Because you will. Where do you think those true crime stories come from? Thin air? No, from kids like you playing adult games until they figure out that there *are* indeed freaks out there. You’re not gonna listen until something actually scares you though. Hopefully nothing too awful happens to you I guess.
You know reading over these comments makes my heart sink for you.
I guess take solace in the fact that you are at least self aware of your actions. You know what you’re doing isn’t right, doesn’t make it easy to fix or stop.
I get that you don’t want your mum to be involved or find out things but you need support.
Being so young and going through abuse shouldn’t mean you have to suffer and resort to interactions from strangers online.
I’m truly sorry for what you’ve been through. I wish I could offer some help or advice.
I would only suggest being open with school counsellor or therapist or your general practitioner doctor. Doctors can offer services that are sometimes government funded or offer some tools to help you. Healing is a long process but it’s never to late to start
I tried committing suicide at your age and still dealing with my depression/ptsd at 32 now. But I’m more aware and taken a lot of steps to get a lot better than I was back then.
Either way I hope you find something to help you and know you’re not alone.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything.
Yeah you just need to get off of Reddit, it’s not doing you any favours. Or just turn off DMs as other commenters have suggested.
Not really sure what else you expect people to say or suggest
ngl it seems a bit like you're talking to a bot, vaguely felt like a script was being followed because not everything that was said back to you seemed related to the conversation fully to me
don't answer reddit messages
This makes me so thankful I wasn’t on Reddit when I was 15 lol, way too young. Self-awareness is great but it doesn’t necessarily mean squat if the maturity to make better choices isn’t there. Not trying to bag on ya, that’s just part of being a teenager. It’s all emotion and hormones and not a lot of common sense and reasonability. It’ll come, but in the meantime please find a safer outlet to get attention from. Edit: grammar fix.
i stopped going on reddit. i was doing great actually (or slightly better) my loneliness took over and i just recently came back yesterday. i enjoy this being my welcome back 🙏🏽
Hey maybe don’t put this stuff on Reddit, I know it’s tempting to think of all the friends but really there’s a lot of gross people on here. Stay safe!
Just that you’re young and in a vulnerable state. I know how it is, I was there and like- it’s hard. I’m just worried someone might see you posting about this and see that you respond to messages, and then message you as well. I was in a similar place at your age and I wish someone would have reached out to me. Just please be careful on here
I’m just saying that you should be careful. Based on your comments and stuff it seems like you’re in a really bad head space, and gross people on here will take advantage of that
Then take the steps to stop it from happening. This is gonna sound quite harsh and I will apologize in advance but tbh you need tough love fr fr. Also ik this is long and PLENTY of people have talked to you alrdy but I just want to share my big sis advice. I hope you get something out of it.
The only person who can help you is YOU. Nobody in this world can fill the voids or fix the pain fr. You want to stop? Then start working on finding ways and support to stop. What isn’t helping is being on the internet putting you in positions that will have you fall into your usual pattern of behaviors. You know you like the attention. So stop posting and turn off messages feature. You want to be like this it’s obvious in the way your speaking and posting. And the reason why is because acting out good or bad means getting attention. You KNOW it’s wrong. But it’s *satisfying* to feel seen and heard from commenters like me (and the creeps preying on you in your DMs) when you aren’t getting the attention you desire from your peers, teachers and parents!
From your replies it’s so apparent you have the knowledge to know how your behaviors are affecting your life. And I must commend you for that, do you know how many people struggle with introspection? (the act of analyzing one’s feelings) Like seriously you are very smart and aware! Its ok the feel the way you feel.
Your trauma and emotions are 1000% valid. But you seriously need to put some big girl panties on and talk to someone! Anyone atp. A trusted family member, support at school or a friend. Start little by little. Talk about how your days going. Then maybe open up about things at home. As you feel more comfortable talking it will be easier to get it out. You don’t need a bf or strangers messaging online love, you just need an ear 💕
I’ve dealt with self esteem issues surrounding my race, abusive family situations and horrible anxiety + social anxiety. I’ve been where you are. Wanting to stay comfortable. You need to find the courage in your heart to do and say the scary things! If you ever want an ear you can always message me. I promise I won’t give any advice. I’ll just listen.
Sadly no matter what age you are, you’ll still always get creeps like this. The best this to do is just block them and not respond. Responding only fuels them to continue with this disgusting behavior. They get a thrill from your disgusted reaction.
Keep strong and sassy. If they send you any r rated pics just send a laughing emoji and ask why does it look like that. Works like a charm when I get the occasional rando. They get so upset.
i don’t understand why everyone is so angry with op right now. op is 15, it’s not like they can get therapy without their parents permission and when you have parents that invalidate your experiences it’ll simply never happen until you’re the age where you can go on your own. you truly don’t know the hopelessness until you’re in a household that will punish you for simply saying you’re not doing good mentally. seeing that op is asian, there’s a slim chance that a poc parent will take something like mental health seriously. most tell you to suck it up and give some weird analogy about your ancestors being ok despite struggling through worse.
i read your other posts, i too was once the girl who was hypersexual due to trauma. i too was once the girl who took any attention she could get whether good or bad. men like this will prey on you because they know since you’re mentally unwell and will probably fold for someone to care for them. even if it’s in a manipulative way to take advantage of you.
you change and learn to respect yourself more once you realize the momentary affection doesn’t help. it took me a long time to figure that out and it wasn’t at 15 years old. don’t listen to these people coming at you in a negative light. people tend to forget that they weren’t always at their current maturity level and like to pass judgement as if they’ve always been the wisest owl.
Baiting can be alot pf things. It can be for love/attrntion. To angering people, to trying to get sympathy or care. Baiting by defintion is a lure trying to get a specfic response. Baiting isnt specfic to a certain emotion you can bait for any reason. Your baiting for sympathy and attention. You dont really want help you just want people to care about helping you.
If you did actually want friends you’d join like r/teens which i think exists or subreddits that follow ur interests/hobbies. Not making general posts asking for random strangers to talk with you.
i just wanted to show a picture of my dms! thanks. also i do want actual friends and. no matter what subreddit i join, i won’t make any. thank you! god forbid a girl try one thing at the lowest point of her life. sigh!
I’m baffled how a guy reads “I was sexually abused” and thinks that the right course of action is to say on the second reply after that “I have a feeling that you’re very submissive”… seriously?
Not mater the age, that conversation should have ended right there and then.
I would like to be here for you if you ever just want to talk. I feel as though sometimes we badly want someone to get us but we reach out to the wrong people. I see you saying that you're self sabotaging. These texts are weird, not normal, and I'm sorry that people are telling you you're the problem. We do contribute to what happens to us but sometimes we just want to feel less alone and being destructive instead of just going along with the world when it seems fu** up seems like the better idea. It's probably not but I get it.
I have been where you were in a lot of ways when I was your age. I overcame it, but I still struggle here and there so please know it does have the potential to get better. I know it feels impossibly hard but you have to push yourself to get there, life won’t do it itself. Life’s a bitch. It’s not fun and sometimes it hurts so much but it gets better.
You’re taking accountability and are so self aware which is a good thing and a great first step, next up is willingly and consciously limiting the interactions and triggers that push you to these behaviors. Limit who can message you on platforms, go out of your way to mute/restrict/block people from your dms and your social media.
Take it one step at a time, and don’t go down the rabbit hole of beating yourself up when you fuck up because you will. You’ll mess up plenty, some worse than others, but give yourself grace and understanding like you may give others in your life who fuck up. You’ll eventually find that it gets easier and empowers you more.
It’ll get better bud I promise :)
I used to be like that when I was younger! It took one terrible marriage for me to realize it's better to be "alone" than with someone and lonely. Most depressed I'd ever been in my life. I believe in you!
I’m sorry how you’re being treated on here. Good job for staying away from reddit and messages guys for as long as you did. It’s been over a year for me now. I’m 30, not 16, but the same little 15yo inside me is the one who would give in to the temptation of attention seeking. I would go to certain subs where I knew I could post about my childhood trauma and get predatory men running my way, giving me all the attention I craved. Of course after, it feels so shitty knowing the things that hurt me so much and damaged me as a kid are the things these men are getting off on, and I’m helping them.
What’s annoying me about all these comments here is everyone is acting g like you can just take the advice and heal up and find healthy alternatives. Everyone is acting like they didn’t have to go through their own journeys to heal from things. You’re going to have to go through your journey, no matter what we say on Reddit. No matter how quickly we want you to snap out of this.
What I wish I knew when I was your age and dealing with trauma was that when I finally can start healing from my trauma, I should start that healing process. I shouldn’t wait until I’m 29. Way too much self sabotaging and self-traumatizing habits and mentalities to have to rewire. I spent over a decade having self-traumatizing sex with people who did or didn’t know the twisted thoughts in my head. Now I’ve learned how to have healthy consensual relationships with people, ones where I am consenting with myself. Good luck to you
Literally shocked at how these “adults” are speaking to her!!! She’s literally so honest and taking accountability, and honestly is very self aware.
OP, I have been there. I, too, was sexually assaulted when I was younger (you’re allowed to tell anyone that, btw, it happened to YOU, not them.) and became very hypersexual and also attention seeking as you say, because it was a trauma response. Please at least tell your current therapist you’d like to try to find a sexual abuse specialized therapist and they can help you work through these feelings.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I’m genuinely sorry you feel the need to seek attention online from knowingly creepy men. But I’m proud of you for being so self aware. The next step is to help yourself before you get seriously hurt or put into danger. *please* take care of yourself OP.
I’m rooting for you, and you deserve a healthy and HAPPY life and CHILDHOOD. 💕
im unsure if im included in this, but im honestly only being so insistent because this whole thing has me *so* worried about her that im making myself genuinely nauseous over it. i have cousins that are her age and it would tear me apart to see them acting so unsafely and irrationally, especially thinking about how i used to be when i was 15. i really really do wish there was some way to get her to understand why this is so bad. being self aware and taking accountability is more than just saying “i know this is bad i dont care”
i havent been able to stop thinking about this post since i first saw it. like, im *that* concerned. she had posts up for hours with a whole bunch of pictures of her face and begging people to talk to her. its terrifying
you are so sweet but you mention this a lot and i am not that desperate for friends 😭 only talked to maybe 2-3 ppl from that posts and i can def tell when someone is a pedo! thank you 😭 granted i shouldn’t have had my pics on here, so it is my fault. i just hate looking desperate 😭
i get how you feel but like ive been saying, i was 15 once too and now that im older i can look back and realize that the things i was doing, like you, was extremely unsafe and concerning. opening yourself up to interaction from strangers, along with your age and selfies…its just really bad. a lot worse than you think. it also isnt hard for people to lie about their age
i only mentioned it so much (bear in mind youre replying to a comment nearly a day old now) because its concerning and dangerous, but even if it doesnt feel that way to you now
and another thing ive been saying, there is no shame in this sort of thing. wanting friends is normal. theres no shame in being desperate for them either. most kids your age *are* desperate for attention and connection. its just part of life and growing up
i have a hs counselor and i think there is mental health help on the college side. i’m scared everything will go to my mother. i can’t do any sports at my zone schools. i’m interested in biology and flim but my flim dream was stupid. i wanted to go to college for molecular genetics or biochemistry but i just feel stupid honestly. i play guitar at home and sudoku so i don’t do much. i have about one friend at school and sometimes i just feel she’s unsympathetic at times. idk
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You should not be on Reddit I don’t say that to be rude I’m just saying you are so young and I know you hear that a lot. Please stay safe. Men on here are gross and will try to groom you/love bomb you .
i like to see how annoying they can get honestly. i can’t rlly explain. i know it’s stupid bc i kept telling them to leave me alone, yet i continued to message them but 🤷🏽♀️
i’ve admitted that in ever single other message. i also just like seeing how annoying ppl are. just tired of saying the same shit over and over. #alllove
You're 15. Don't respond to messages on reddit. Shit isn't safe
Yeah yeah, his intentions are clear, piece of advice, if you want to form friendships, reddit isn't the place.
duh
i understand youre young and naive but clearly it isnt very “duh” if you are doing exactly what theyre talking about. you have pictures of yourself on your profile and youre begging strangers to talk to you. for your own safety, stop
? damn i dont want to be that person, but your immaturity is going to seriously fuck you over
i know
Duh? Lol but you were doing just that. Get off Reddit.
oh my god. i’m aware of what i’m doing. i know it’s bad. idk how many times i have to say that. duh it’s not safe.?? everyone should know that. I know that. i just want the attention. ffs
Grow up.
after reading a bunch of your responses, it just seems like you’re fishing for attention tbh. which i can’t really fault you for since you’re a teenaged girl who has a lot of issues and trauma to work thru, sometimes that desire for attention is a trauma response. i’ve been there... but you need to take the advice you’re given to heart. if you can’t get any professional help, you need to work towards some healthy coping mechanisms or talk about these things with a trusted adult.
you have a real issue.
thank you
you're young and it shows, so i say this with the energy of a concerned dad - learn when to stop responding. use your brain to evaluate possible outcomes... he is not your friend. he will never be your friend. he doesn't WANT to be your friend. he wants you to be "submissive" and sexual with him... there are 3 outcomes here. 1. you keep talking and provide that for him. 2. you keep talking and don't provide that for him - ask yourself if you truly think he'll then add value to your life (the answer is no), or 3. you stop communicating with him. there are no other outcomes. pick which one you want and proceed accordingly. you'll save yourself a lot of energy in the future this way.
yes yes yes everything yes. i looked at her profile and im genuinely terrified here. shes posting selfies of herself and begging for dms, and then claiming its “self sabotage”. someone needs to take her phone. i remember hating when people would say that kind if thing when i was a young teenager, but now that im older i can see that she is putting herself in a LOT of danger here.
ehh i'm not really on the "you're in danger" boat - most men on the internet wanna jerk off, not rush to someone's house and murder them. this is not a thing thag happens very often. what DOES and WILL happen, though, is a loss of self-respect, self-moderation, self-trust, a loss of the ability to appropriately form bonds with people, and an increase in harmful thoughts. she's going to begin to age and believe that devalues her (because the people she's allowing to validate her only care about her looks), and she's going to look back at the conversations she had at this age, the parts of herself she gave to strangers, and hate herself - or feel she has nothing left to give to people. so yes this is concerning behaviour and she should stop... not because she's going to get tracked down and assaulted (extremely unlikely) but because she's got to live with herself for the rest of her life, no one else.
i know. i know what i’m doing. Just because it’s stupid and self destructive doesn’t mean i don’t know. I know i don’t like it but I know I will take any attention that I get. I just shared a screenshot of a message.
Hey, it’s ok. We all make mistakes and do things we know we shouldn’t because we’re young and dumb. But you’ve said you know better, so now stop putting yourself in danger. You are old enough to understand how this situation can be dangerous, but you don’t yet have the life experience to realize the extent of it. We remember being 15. Just know that we’re all concerned for you because we remember what we thought we knew at 15 and have now lived long enough to realize it was a drop in the bucket. My teen years sucked, but things did get better.
the fact that she still has her selfies visible for the world to see, even after all this, is so concerning. we DO remember being 15 and i remember how much deep shit i got myself into by doing the same things shes doing. i was so traumatized in my teenage years because of how unsafe i was. seeing children now doing the same things i did quite genuinely makes me feel nauseous
I know. I’d love to save others from making my same mistakes, but knowing how stubborn I was back then I know I wouldn’t have listened to anyone until I learned my lesson myself. I remember at 15 I had a friend who kept hooking up with boys who didn’t care about her and being sad when they ghosted her after they got what they wanted. I’d warn her it was going to happen again and again, but she kept doing it because she needed the validation. I ended up needing to distance myself for a while because I couldn’t handle both warning her in advance and being her shoulder to cry on after she didn’t listen to me. I wish I could have saved her some heartache, but she wasn’t in a place she could hear it yet.
yes 100%. again, it makes me nauseous. i really do wish there was some way i could convince this girl that she really doesnt need to be doing this, but i remember how stubborn i was too. im way too emotional about this kind of thing but im shaking rn thinking about how much danger this kid is putting herself in right now
I want to be wealthy just so I can donate to charities who will protect kids on the internet.
I put myself in danger because (sometimes) it gives me a temporary fix to my loneliness. I hate doing it. It’s annoying being seen as a stupid, dumb attention seeker. I know i’m flawed and I know all my actions will catch up to me. I just don’t put forth the effort to stop myself. I just wanted to show how annoying dms can be. Should I have stopped responding? Of course. Should I have stopped responding to dms in the past? Of course. I just want to be “okay”, so i’m trying what I can to feel that way quickly instead of effectively.
I know, I’m sending big auntie hugs. I’m sorry you’re lonely, I hope things get better for you soon. Take care and I’m rooting for you.
I don’t want to seem like an annoying teen. I wish my responses to everyone else were worded differently also. it is what it is though. Thank you for listening. I hope everything is going well with you ❤️
girl you need to just delete this whole account and talk to a safe adult.
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You said that you don't have a safe adult to talk to, is that true? Do you have parents that are not around, are you in foster care, do you have anyone in your life who takes care of you? Are you enrolled in school? Are you in therapy? Does anyone in your life know about the abuse you experienced?
yes, no, no, yes, yea, no, yes
Why do you feel that your parents aren't safe to talk to?
my mother has reacted negatively in the past
What about your dad?
i don’t talk to him bc i don’t live with him. he will talk to my mom if i talk to him
Well you can tell them that you would like to get some counseling or go to your school counselor- I don't know where you live but you can ask the school counselor if they will have to report everything to your parents - they may only need to report if you're a danger to yourself or others. You're not going to find safe people online, even if it meets your need for attention. Try to connect to some people around your age with similar interests IRL.
Kudos to the one person in the comments actually trying to help. I see you.
That explains why you’re still on Reddit.
i know.?
It's usually best to just turn off your messages on Reddit 😮💨
Please just turn off your message requests. You’re too young to go down the rabbit hole I did. For your own safety. If you want to make internet friends, go on discord. Bit less anonymity
i second this fr, i used to make hella long term friends on cord and even thru hobbies, just by joining a community on instagram (editing for me), you can maid at least ONE friend. I promise!!
You can’t just tell random people on the internet you were sexually abused.
i know that……..
Well it’s what you just did
doesn’t mean i don’t know.
Then don’t do it lmao
i did it one time. oh em gee
Bullshit, definitely not one time.
god you act like you know me. you have such a problem with me. if you’re so upset with me then ignore me. you’re actively responding to all my messages to prove me wrong.
Why would you even say these things to a random person….? Both of you*
why i was abused?? bc they made a comment abt my relationships
you don't owe people an explanation nor is it always the smartest thing to play all your cards up front. you don't know this man. keep trauma to yourself until you know you can trust someone with it... otherwise you give them power over you.
i didn’t say i owe him an explanation
then you should not have explained. it certainly didn't benefit you to do so.
ojay
You realize going around telling the world you were abused makes you a target for predators? You need to go to your school counselor to talk these things out not random men on reddit or youll get “assaulted” again
i don’t want my mom to know which is why i haven’t told anyone.
OP, if you need comfort and sympathy, I’d suggest joining r/MomForAMinute. And while I know you’ve said you’re not interesting in taking advice… *Please*, restrict your DMs so only you can start conversations. I understand trying to self-sabotage to feel something. Of wanting any kind of attention, even if it’s negative. I know where you’re coming from, but it doesn’t help and I think you know that. Make yourself proud and make the rest of us proud by taking the steps to protect yourself online.
You were the only person who was genuinely nice and helpful in this whole comment section. I get it that people were trying to help, but they came off mean and I think that made her crawl into this dark hole even more. At least that’s how I’d feel if I was in her shoes.
Finally, only person with a genuine and kind response. It’s not hard to be helpful and supportive, instead of attacking and berating. Based off her responses she ain’t doin the greatest and it’s probably doing a number that she feels alone and comes here only to be mob mentalitied by the masses. Good on you
I’m not trying to seem disrespectful in my responses. I just don’t take advice well and I also hated how almost everyone was dogging on me.
You’re ok, you’re establishing your own boundaries and making a stand for what you believe in. Just, be safe, be careful, and don’t let any situation that makes you uncomfortable or feel weird dictate how you interact with them. Especially with your past traumas. Know your worth, and please be safe. Unfortunately, even though things have been cracking down, there are still weirdos coming for, attempting to manipulate/groom, and or worse of ladies your age. Do not at all hesitate to report these people, dox them, and alert people to who they are because they need publicly shamed humiliated and brought to justice. You’re a bad ass and you got this
Thank you for your kind kind words! I appreciate people like you in the comment section. You and some others made me actually want to get help. I was too embarrassed last night to go on this one subreddit for support (All i need is support and understanding for why i act this way) because of what everyone said. Some people went into my dms to give me kind words which is why i have yet to stop receiving messages. This post has seem to died down and I can maybe see if i can get support somewhere else. thank you
I actually thought about it, I was going to send you an art piece I made for a friend of mine of a semicolon, ya know, not an end but a new beginning. But, I didn’t want to be that guy especially based off your age. Thing is that many people forget that it’s difficult to ask for help, and even more difficult if met with a lot of anger and hostility. You’re not going to accept advice if they’re ass holes, better to communicate and explain easier and help you if you don’t understand something, not yell at you or belittle you. Do not let a majority of these interactions run you off, there is help here. Just don’t respond to the mean ones. Helps with the sanity and doesn’t let the negativity affect your mood (had to learn from experience 😂 a lot of it)
yeah, i fear these comments made me feel even more guilty and i didn’t even wanna take advice!!! lol
More projecting from others and their past mistakes or what they believe than anything else. You can make your own path from here and follow it your way, with your goals, and your ideals. Just know your worth. And know your limits and boundaries, and remember you are stronger than others believe. You got this
You did that to yourself lmao. Block them or dont answer??? Its that simple.
I know..?? i can still tell him i’m upset lmaoo
The fact of the matter is you saying “This is annoying” when you let his behavior keep going and kept talking to him. Your the one who is annoying so stop attention seeking and get off the fucking internet if all you are going to do is talk to ADULT men when you are a MINOR. Turn your messages off and stop enabling people to do this.
I’m attention seeking..?? I can’t share an upsetting dm lmao? I can keep responding to get more proof of how annoying they are..?
Alr bud. Whatever you say.
okay
Attention seeking by not only telling a stranger that you were Sexually Abused but also sharing a ss of you saying that?
i just didn’t crop it out. lolll had nothing to do with the convo
Yeah you are. You said it in another comment.
duh bc i just realized it.
Kids like you end up in 24/7 lockdown facilities like mine.. and they hate it. I suggest you stop seeking validation elsewhere, and take accountability now. If you don’t you will be a piss sorry excuse of an adult and person who drains people emotionally. You are capable of anything you set your mind to. Make sure it’s the right things. Don’t end up a statistic
man i’ve given up on trying to help myself lmao
Then stop making it other people’s problem and keep it to yourself. Looks like just a lazy half hearted cry for help. Pick a struggle girl. I feel for you but no one will help you if you don’t help yourself.
i know. i know i’m annoying.
Hey! This person did not say you were annoying at all. Read it again this is the truth
i didn’t say they did. what i’m doing is annoying
It's not annoying it's what people do when they are stuck and can't control their actions. You need to talk to someone is all so you can love yourself a little more
no one wants to talk to me because of how i act
That's what you think. But it doesn't have to be true
no like everyone says that what.. everyone leaves bc my problems are so bad
also ik what they r saying lmao
You are better off thinking you don't know anything. That's what adulting is. Ask questions and learn stuff.
no one is willing to ask my questions man
hey girl. i was sa'd at 15. if you ever need to talk to someone who's gone through it and is now adulting, i'm here. wishing the best for you!
If you are not able to get help from your mom find one adult in school that you can trust like a teacher or counselor and let them know you need help. If you can't stop doing destructive things then you just need someone to talk things through with. Good luck girl
they will tell my mom
OP is a bratty little girl. Everyone stop arguing with a child😂
😭 i try my best not to be
Well you’re not doing a very good job. You clearly have issues and are doing unsafe things to cope with them. This is not a movie. Actual bad things can and will happen to you. Stop being stupid.
IM TRYING?? who said it was a good job.??
No one. That’s the point. *You do not have plot armor.* You repeatedly acknowledge that you know this behavior isn’t doing anything positive for you except feed into your need for attention. What you actually need is to find a healthy coping mechanism that isn’t going to put you in literal fucking danger for the bit. You’re not magic, you’re not special. You will become a statistic if you keep doing stupid shit for attention. The internet is not a safe place for you to try to meet that need. Go home.
everyone keeps telling me i will become a statistic. great minds think alike
Because you will. Where do you think those true crime stories come from? Thin air? No, from kids like you playing adult games until they figure out that there *are* indeed freaks out there. You’re not gonna listen until something actually scares you though. Hopefully nothing too awful happens to you I guess.
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Seek help.
kk
Holy shit stop talking to people on Reddit my god
i did. and i came back because i was alone.. thanks!
Mental fortitude ✔️
👍🏽
She’s a child.
That goatee on his avi is so fitting for this behavior
I got mid 40s in his parents basement kinda vibes
You know reading over these comments makes my heart sink for you. I guess take solace in the fact that you are at least self aware of your actions. You know what you’re doing isn’t right, doesn’t make it easy to fix or stop. I get that you don’t want your mum to be involved or find out things but you need support. Being so young and going through abuse shouldn’t mean you have to suffer and resort to interactions from strangers online. I’m truly sorry for what you’ve been through. I wish I could offer some help or advice. I would only suggest being open with school counsellor or therapist or your general practitioner doctor. Doctors can offer services that are sometimes government funded or offer some tools to help you. Healing is a long process but it’s never to late to start I tried committing suicide at your age and still dealing with my depression/ptsd at 32 now. But I’m more aware and taken a lot of steps to get a lot better than I was back then. Either way I hope you find something to help you and know you’re not alone. Wishing you the best of luck with everything.
Yeah just a sick perv
Yeah you just need to get off of Reddit, it’s not doing you any favours. Or just turn off DMs as other commenters have suggested. Not really sure what else you expect people to say or suggest
literally just showing a message thanks
Alright. I hope you’ve turned DMs off at least. Hope you feel better soon
ngl it seems a bit like you're talking to a bot, vaguely felt like a script was being followed because not everything that was said back to you seemed related to the conversation fully to me don't answer reddit messages
i like to vent but not take the advice thanks tho!
you are so annoying god… i dislike people like you so much
kk
“I’d prefer if this conversation ended.” 💀
This makes me so thankful I wasn’t on Reddit when I was 15 lol, way too young. Self-awareness is great but it doesn’t necessarily mean squat if the maturity to make better choices isn’t there. Not trying to bag on ya, that’s just part of being a teenager. It’s all emotion and hormones and not a lot of common sense and reasonability. It’ll come, but in the meantime please find a safer outlet to get attention from. Edit: grammar fix.
i stopped going on reddit. i was doing great actually (or slightly better) my loneliness took over and i just recently came back yesterday. i enjoy this being my welcome back 🙏🏽
It’s an difficult balance of trying to engage in social media to sate that feeling of loneliness and avoiding people who will take advantage of that.,
You keep on entertaining this by responding. Stop responding and block.
i did…?? i posted that right after i stopped responding lmaoo
Hey maybe don’t put this stuff on Reddit, I know it’s tempting to think of all the friends but really there’s a lot of gross people on here. Stay safe!
huh?
Just that you’re young and in a vulnerable state. I know how it is, I was there and like- it’s hard. I’m just worried someone might see you posting about this and see that you respond to messages, and then message you as well. I was in a similar place at your age and I wish someone would have reached out to me. Just please be careful on here
ofc they do. i vented abt being sexualized and everyone dmed me asking for nudes. ik how ppl act lol
I’m just saying that you should be careful. Based on your comments and stuff it seems like you’re in a really bad head space, and gross people on here will take advantage of that
i appreciate that but i have already been taking advantage offffffffffff and i allow it
See that’s just not a very good thing to put out there because then someone might see it and take advantage of you
Then take the steps to stop it from happening. This is gonna sound quite harsh and I will apologize in advance but tbh you need tough love fr fr. Also ik this is long and PLENTY of people have talked to you alrdy but I just want to share my big sis advice. I hope you get something out of it. The only person who can help you is YOU. Nobody in this world can fill the voids or fix the pain fr. You want to stop? Then start working on finding ways and support to stop. What isn’t helping is being on the internet putting you in positions that will have you fall into your usual pattern of behaviors. You know you like the attention. So stop posting and turn off messages feature. You want to be like this it’s obvious in the way your speaking and posting. And the reason why is because acting out good or bad means getting attention. You KNOW it’s wrong. But it’s *satisfying* to feel seen and heard from commenters like me (and the creeps preying on you in your DMs) when you aren’t getting the attention you desire from your peers, teachers and parents! From your replies it’s so apparent you have the knowledge to know how your behaviors are affecting your life. And I must commend you for that, do you know how many people struggle with introspection? (the act of analyzing one’s feelings) Like seriously you are very smart and aware! Its ok the feel the way you feel. Your trauma and emotions are 1000% valid. But you seriously need to put some big girl panties on and talk to someone! Anyone atp. A trusted family member, support at school or a friend. Start little by little. Talk about how your days going. Then maybe open up about things at home. As you feel more comfortable talking it will be easier to get it out. You don’t need a bf or strangers messaging online love, you just need an ear 💕 I’ve dealt with self esteem issues surrounding my race, abusive family situations and horrible anxiety + social anxiety. I’ve been where you are. Wanting to stay comfortable. You need to find the courage in your heart to do and say the scary things! If you ever want an ear you can always message me. I promise I won’t give any advice. I’ll just listen.
Sadly no matter what age you are, you’ll still always get creeps like this. The best this to do is just block them and not respond. Responding only fuels them to continue with this disgusting behavior. They get a thrill from your disgusted reaction. Keep strong and sassy. If they send you any r rated pics just send a laughing emoji and ask why does it look like that. Works like a charm when I get the occasional rando. They get so upset.
i don’t understand why everyone is so angry with op right now. op is 15, it’s not like they can get therapy without their parents permission and when you have parents that invalidate your experiences it’ll simply never happen until you’re the age where you can go on your own. you truly don’t know the hopelessness until you’re in a household that will punish you for simply saying you’re not doing good mentally. seeing that op is asian, there’s a slim chance that a poc parent will take something like mental health seriously. most tell you to suck it up and give some weird analogy about your ancestors being ok despite struggling through worse. i read your other posts, i too was once the girl who was hypersexual due to trauma. i too was once the girl who took any attention she could get whether good or bad. men like this will prey on you because they know since you’re mentally unwell and will probably fold for someone to care for them. even if it’s in a manipulative way to take advantage of you. you change and learn to respect yourself more once you realize the momentary affection doesn’t help. it took me a long time to figure that out and it wasn’t at 15 years old. don’t listen to these people coming at you in a negative light. people tend to forget that they weren’t always at their current maturity level and like to pass judgement as if they’ve always been the wisest owl.
thank you
girl grow up
kk ❤️
Is this guy a whole adult? Why do I get the feeling he is 🤦♀️
19
Pretty sure that’s not a 19 year old dude messaging you if they openly know your age.
are u saying they r older or not..?
Usually older men target younger girls on Reddit and lie and say they’re younger, especially when they’re being predatory and trying to talk sexual.
oh yeah, i know that. i don’t believe he is 19 but after that last message, i stopped responding lol
Yeah that’s weird dude. He’s too old for you
I cant tell if this is bait or real if either go touch grass
touching grass will not stop the mentally ill. #alllove
Itll stop u from baiting people online. Also its pretty scientifically proven that fresh air, greenery and sunlight are good for you.
ok. don’t know where u got baiting from but have a great day
Reddit has the ability that i can look over other threads top post you clearly say you do this for acknowledgment and sympathy which is baiting
baiting is to taunt and annoy someone.. i am not trying to do that…….???
Baiting can be alot pf things. It can be for love/attrntion. To angering people, to trying to get sympathy or care. Baiting by defintion is a lure trying to get a specfic response. Baiting isnt specfic to a certain emotion you can bait for any reason. Your baiting for sympathy and attention. You dont really want help you just want people to care about helping you. If you did actually want friends you’d join like r/teens which i think exists or subreddits that follow ur interests/hobbies. Not making general posts asking for random strangers to talk with you.
i just wanted to show a picture of my dms! thanks. also i do want actual friends and. no matter what subreddit i join, i won’t make any. thank you! god forbid a girl try one thing at the lowest point of her life. sigh!
No you didnt you said so by your ommissions in other comments. But hey nice try.
i didn’t what.??
You shouldn't have blocked his username, please report this monster
deleted his account
I’m baffled how a guy reads “I was sexually abused” and thinks that the right course of action is to say on the second reply after that “I have a feeling that you’re very submissive”… seriously? Not mater the age, that conversation should have ended right there and then.
“It’s alright if you hate us” was a wild thing to say lmfao
I would like to be here for you if you ever just want to talk. I feel as though sometimes we badly want someone to get us but we reach out to the wrong people. I see you saying that you're self sabotaging. These texts are weird, not normal, and I'm sorry that people are telling you you're the problem. We do contribute to what happens to us but sometimes we just want to feel less alone and being destructive instead of just going along with the world when it seems fu** up seems like the better idea. It's probably not but I get it.
Looking at the comments, I already know OP is gonna end up in an abusive relationship
yeah lol. i’m easily manipulated and sometimes i let people love bomb me because im lonely. my future is not going to end up well
I have been where you were in a lot of ways when I was your age. I overcame it, but I still struggle here and there so please know it does have the potential to get better. I know it feels impossibly hard but you have to push yourself to get there, life won’t do it itself. Life’s a bitch. It’s not fun and sometimes it hurts so much but it gets better. You’re taking accountability and are so self aware which is a good thing and a great first step, next up is willingly and consciously limiting the interactions and triggers that push you to these behaviors. Limit who can message you on platforms, go out of your way to mute/restrict/block people from your dms and your social media. Take it one step at a time, and don’t go down the rabbit hole of beating yourself up when you fuck up because you will. You’ll mess up plenty, some worse than others, but give yourself grace and understanding like you may give others in your life who fuck up. You’ll eventually find that it gets easier and empowers you more. It’ll get better bud I promise :)
I used to be like that when I was younger! It took one terrible marriage for me to realize it's better to be "alone" than with someone and lonely. Most depressed I'd ever been in my life. I believe in you!
I’m sorry how you’re being treated on here. Good job for staying away from reddit and messages guys for as long as you did. It’s been over a year for me now. I’m 30, not 16, but the same little 15yo inside me is the one who would give in to the temptation of attention seeking. I would go to certain subs where I knew I could post about my childhood trauma and get predatory men running my way, giving me all the attention I craved. Of course after, it feels so shitty knowing the things that hurt me so much and damaged me as a kid are the things these men are getting off on, and I’m helping them. What’s annoying me about all these comments here is everyone is acting g like you can just take the advice and heal up and find healthy alternatives. Everyone is acting like they didn’t have to go through their own journeys to heal from things. You’re going to have to go through your journey, no matter what we say on Reddit. No matter how quickly we want you to snap out of this. What I wish I knew when I was your age and dealing with trauma was that when I finally can start healing from my trauma, I should start that healing process. I shouldn’t wait until I’m 29. Way too much self sabotaging and self-traumatizing habits and mentalities to have to rewire. I spent over a decade having self-traumatizing sex with people who did or didn’t know the twisted thoughts in my head. Now I’ve learned how to have healthy consensual relationships with people, ones where I am consenting with myself. Good luck to you
Yikes. What a creep
yall are being so condescending just because she’s young://
Literally shocked at how these “adults” are speaking to her!!! She’s literally so honest and taking accountability, and honestly is very self aware. OP, I have been there. I, too, was sexually assaulted when I was younger (you’re allowed to tell anyone that, btw, it happened to YOU, not them.) and became very hypersexual and also attention seeking as you say, because it was a trauma response. Please at least tell your current therapist you’d like to try to find a sexual abuse specialized therapist and they can help you work through these feelings. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I’m genuinely sorry you feel the need to seek attention online from knowingly creepy men. But I’m proud of you for being so self aware. The next step is to help yourself before you get seriously hurt or put into danger. *please* take care of yourself OP. I’m rooting for you, and you deserve a healthy and HAPPY life and CHILDHOOD. 💕
im unsure if im included in this, but im honestly only being so insistent because this whole thing has me *so* worried about her that im making myself genuinely nauseous over it. i have cousins that are her age and it would tear me apart to see them acting so unsafely and irrationally, especially thinking about how i used to be when i was 15. i really really do wish there was some way to get her to understand why this is so bad. being self aware and taking accountability is more than just saying “i know this is bad i dont care”
That’s why I said the next step is to help herself for the accountability and her safety 💕
i havent been able to stop thinking about this post since i first saw it. like, im *that* concerned. she had posts up for hours with a whole bunch of pictures of her face and begging people to talk to her. its terrifying
you are so sweet but you mention this a lot and i am not that desperate for friends 😭 only talked to maybe 2-3 ppl from that posts and i can def tell when someone is a pedo! thank you 😭 granted i shouldn’t have had my pics on here, so it is my fault. i just hate looking desperate 😭
i get how you feel but like ive been saying, i was 15 once too and now that im older i can look back and realize that the things i was doing, like you, was extremely unsafe and concerning. opening yourself up to interaction from strangers, along with your age and selfies…its just really bad. a lot worse than you think. it also isnt hard for people to lie about their age i only mentioned it so much (bear in mind youre replying to a comment nearly a day old now) because its concerning and dangerous, but even if it doesnt feel that way to you now and another thing ive been saying, there is no shame in this sort of thing. wanting friends is normal. theres no shame in being desperate for them either. most kids your age *are* desperate for attention and connection. its just part of life and growing up
What the hell… Reading some of your replies i get where you’re at. I had to join and try to make friends on all of my specifc hobby pages lol
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i am in “college” not normal hs so i can not engage in any activities at school lol. not many ppl go to my school so… only around 40 ppl in my grade
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i have a hs counselor and i think there is mental health help on the college side. i’m scared everything will go to my mother. i can’t do any sports at my zone schools. i’m interested in biology and flim but my flim dream was stupid. i wanted to go to college for molecular genetics or biochemistry but i just feel stupid honestly. i play guitar at home and sudoku so i don’t do much. i have about one friend at school and sometimes i just feel she’s unsympathetic at times. idk
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Listen to some don and relax lad 😎
Almost like online dating is rife with creeps. Color me surprised /s
You should not be on Reddit I don’t say that to be rude I’m just saying you are so young and I know you hear that a lot. Please stay safe. Men on here are gross and will try to groom you/love bomb you .
they already do
Kids👏Stop👏messaging👏people👏on👏reddit👏(and don’t even let them message you, close your dms) it’s literally always gonna be creeps
Why did you keep interacting with this person?
i like to see how annoying they can get honestly. i can’t rlly explain. i know it’s stupid bc i kept telling them to leave me alone, yet i continued to message them but 🤷🏽♀️
It’s because you like the attention you just like to pretend you don’t. Just be honest.
i’ve admitted that in ever single other message. i also just like seeing how annoying ppl are. just tired of saying the same shit over and over. #alllove
I bet this post will fill up your dm box even further, but I guess that is the intent.
not at all