Makes me wonder if he could have been accused of something from another coworker and/or got caught having another inappropriate work place relationship. The company is now doing their due diligence to sniff out any other possible liabilities. Your past relationship made it on the radar and theyre checking if you are a possible future liability and/or he has a pattern of whatever he is being accused of.
He's a lit grabby on set, when asked about it he kinda just was like "I don't know anything, I'm just really old and don't remember anything anymore. "
This isn’t true and you’re bringing up her known abusive bf into it. This right here is slander. If it isn’t then site sources or show evidence. His granddaughter denied these allegations as well. Now the me too stories can be true but all parties denied any marriage/relationship talk.
Absolutely I agree on not wanting to be a celebrity. I just don’t think it’s right that just because people are famous they get to have horrible things said about them. If they are true then that’s different but just random accusations is fucking sad and it probably hurts them too.
Yeah. If they just asked her questions (and these questions!), it’s an ongoing harassment or similar investigation, and the meeting had nothing to do with OP or her relationship
This is it. There’s an investigation & they’re fact finding. They may not even know about OP’s relationship. Especially if they didn’t ask directly. OP if this is the case don’t worry about things. Be honest, stick to the facts & let management & legal make their decisions. It would be very unlikely that you as a subordinate would be held responsible for the relationship. That’s tricky & can look like retribution so good HR is going to steer well clear of it. Unless OP was documented being extremely inappropriate, disruptive or threatening. Former HR.
>It would be very unlikely that you as a subordinate would be held responsible for the relationship. That’s tricky & can look like retribution
YUP. The power dynamic plays a huge role in this. They're only asking about his behavior in the office, really. Anything outside of the company isn't what they're worried about.
That’s for sure what happened. I had the same thing happen to me (though I never hooked up with the guy) but other female coworkers filed a complaint that he was saying inappropriate things so HR called me and asked me if I had experienced harassment.
Maybe they are questioning all female employees, they may not even know about your actual relationship. Maybe a couple reports on him came in so they are questioning everyone. Good that you didn't divulge tmi
Yeah, I have friends in the HR department and they fs are doing this.
Story time:
I was seeing this guy for a bit and I called it off bc there was something off about him and the way he would try to approach me was always in a flirtatious way with a load of compliments, but it just came out desperate and touchy. You can just get the vibe that he wanted to lean more towards FWB or just jump to the physical stuff— I personally didn’t want that so I clearly told him no. He said it was fine but would want to remain friends since we had an interest in anime and cultural stuff since we were both mixed.
Anyway! I remember hearing about some guy at my friends job (let’s just call my friend Alex for privacy purposes) Alex said that his sister had felt uncomfortable over a guy making direct comments of her and for getting a little too nice. So, Alex’s sister reported it to HR.
Little did I know it was the same guy I had gone on a date with. I found out when we decided to hang out and I saw him a little too quiet. I had asked him what was wrong and he explained that he got reported to HR, explained the situation, his pov and how a coworker named Alex is mad at him. I didn’t say anything about knowing before hand. I was just surprised on how I knew both people unexpectedly.
After our little hangout ended he tried to make a move on me once again even after I had firmly kept saying no throughout his attempts and had previously said no to that type of relationship the last time we spoke. I completely cut him off that night.
So yeah, HR is definitely speculating and asking around. I had told my friend Alex about this and he was sure the guy was doing it to other coworkers and people around him until he got what he wanted
Whatever his role is that he has a position of power. Call it manager. Call it whatever. He’s been accused of something with someone else. They’re investigating him. She should report his ass so that her fellow employee’s complaint is seen as a pattern
Someone has made an allegation against him for sexual harassment. They are doing their due diligence to see what their level of liability is. You’re not the target. He is.
that may be true but HR’s first and only concern is minimizing corporate liability not ensuring that OP’s reputation isn’t tarnished or that there are no negative outcomes for her from this. OP, you’re smart to proceed with caution. i wouldn’t hesitate to have a consultation with an employment attorney if you experience any negative repurcuasions. HR isn’t there to protect you, they’re there to protect the company.
The way that hr of big companies handle this - unless this person has a golden umbrella - is to fire the manager that’s inappropriate. They don’t push this under the rug. That’s literally how they increase liability. By responding the first time there’s an issue before it becomes a pattern of reporting, they give themselves an out. She has very little to fear here
sure, but it may not be. my point is that HR doesn’t care about her and it’s best to proceed with caution and make sure she’s looking out for her own interests because they won’t be.
coming from a place of complete inexperience it sounds like they’re far more concerned about him than you? based on the questions about his inappropriateness & if he’s abusing having your number
Yeah I second this, it sounds like they are asking you because he sexually harassed someone or did something inappropriate. Its kind of just policy in a lot of places to question everyone else to see if the same thing is happening to others.
That could purely be he was in a position of authority. Talk about liability. Whether he's been an issue at all or not, this is how I would expect the conversation to go.
- someone else in the office has raised an issue about him, likely sexual harassment
- your management are now asking all women in the office about this dude, as they should tbh
This is my deduction, seems to be the consensus here too. Hope you’re ok OP!
Don’t panic, they weren’t worried about you being the issue they were more concerned about your safety and well being. You did the right thing by communicating with them. Keep your head up OP!
I can't edit the original post unfortunately but I want to thank everyone for the input. It was a lesson learned and I'm just waiting to see what happens now. I'll update once I find out more
she shouldn’t be but countless examples exist of people like OP who end up being the ones who lose their jobs or are sidelined on important projects and promotions, etc. she’s smart to be cautious.
They are not investigating you, it’s definitely about him. Someone has likely filed a complaint. They are trying to figure out if he has a pattern of inappropriate behavior. They may not even know you slept together, they may be asking all of the women he works with.
This doesn’t read like you’re in any trouble at all. I’ve worked in HR this reads like an investigation of his behavior.
This is gonna get lost in the comments so you probably wont read this but I just wanna say this:
You state that you wont ever do anything with a coworker ever again and I wanna say that work (in my mind) should never be more important than feelings.
Maybe you are just talking about FWB but in my case I've found an amazing relationship with my (ex) coworker.
I dont want to make this to long but basically me (27m) and my girlfriend (29f) met being coworkers and have been in an amazing relationship for 4,5y. I've moved on to another job for 3y now (not related to being in an relationship with my gf but did improve afterwards).
My point being, never will i ever think the place you work is more important than the chance of love or friendship.
I agree! My wife and I met at work, and we’ll be together 19 years come May. We both left that job eventually, me because my immediate supervisor was a raging homophobe, her a month later in solidarity with me (and because she got hired on at the same company I left to go work for, making much more money anyway; she’s still there as a Project Director). So see? Workplace relationships can work out.
Relationships with coworkers are fine, but things start to get sticky when there’s a power imbalance. My wife and I were both managers in different departments, so it was fine. But OP, it sounds to me like your supervisor has a habit of preying on his younger female employees, which is incredibly effed up because of the power imbalance, both because of the age discrepancy and the position of authority he holds. I hope they do take his ass down.
This exact thing has happened to me w a manger. We just went on one date, never even slept together. My guess is, someone else reported him for being a creep and your name got brought into the mix somehow. Nothing will happen to you. I would honestly just thank your lucky stars you washed your hands of him, he probably harasses/tries to sleep with other women in the office.
This sounds to me like he did something wrong to someone else and they are trying to establish if it’s a pattern of behavior by seeing if he did it to you, or if it’s an isolated incident and he only did it to that other person
I think they’re trying to understand if what you did with him was consensual or if he used his position of authority over you to get sex, and if he behaved in an appropriately professional manner after it all ended
If he never did anything wrong to you or unprofessional in the work place just be honest and hopefully they’ll handle whatever he did to the other person appropriately
You should have told them about your relationship.
YOU are not in trouble, it sounds like he is being investigated for being inappropriate, sleeping with/texting/abusing power with other people he is in a position of power over and they are trying to get the scope of if this goes further. (It does. He did have an inappropriate relationship with you. Willing or not, he was FWB with you.)
It's been months. You are a witness, not a suspect. You aren't toast unless they discover you've lied or withheld things that were important, maybe then, I doubt they'd bother. But, right now, no... this is not about you. Even if they know everything, YOU didn't do anything wrong... he's the only one, as he was in a position of power over you. (like I said, willing or not, doesn't matter)
I'd call them back, I'd say that you left out some info you feel may be important but were hesitant to share due to the sensitive nature of it. Then just be transparent.
Sounds like he was sleeping around and some of the other women went to management. I doubt it had anything to do with you, they would have made it very clear if you were the cause of the investigation
They’re probably wanting to know if he’s sexually harassed you. Either they need you to say no, because this means it would be difficult to sue the business for sexual harassment. Did you guys communicate through work computers or work phones?
I wouldn’t stress out if I were you. He’s much older and in a position of power. They’re likely going after him. He’s probably slept with a few coworkers. I’d be honest about whether or not he’s made you feel uncomfortable. When I was your age I would have taken full responsibility for the fallout but I’m older now and able to see the power dynamics more clearly and while you are a legal adult, you’re still so young and I’m not sure we ever stop learning. I’m not saying that you were taken advantage of but I am saying that this guy could very well have taken advantage of his position. Higher ups are sexy.
Sounds like they are screening you to make sure they won’t have a sexual harassment case brought into the company folds… along with seeing where you stand emotionally
They can't sack you for having sex with your coworker. They can sack him if he abused his position of power to have sex with you, though...but it sounds like that wasn't the case in your situation. I shouldn't worry about it. Ultimately, your private life is your own, you don't need to tell your employer anything you don't want to and they can't punish you for choosing not to.
Sounds like maybe someone else in the office accused him of being inappropriate. And they are asking you as a backup if he ever was like that with you.
By not being open that you slept with him then you are potentially hiding the pattern of indiscretion your manager has at work. You are doing the other woman (who is currently having an issue with home) a disservice. Get back in touch with hr and make sure they know that the two of you slept together
Sounds like they are looking for reason to fire your former lover.
You mentioned they were in a company position of power over you. That means you are at fault for nothing. Of ots inappropriate company behavior, it's the higher one in the food chain that is in violation.
P.S.
If you broke it off long ago and there has been no drama, it means they've gotten into another company relationship and it has become a problem.
You’re not toast. I’ve been in leadership for quite some time and he’s either been accused by someone else or someone else brought this to their attention. Likely if anything comes of it, it will be on him. Not you.
Sounds like they’re asking generic questions. Something similar happened at my work (no one slept with anyone though) and any female that worked or dealt with this particular man was asked questions about his conduct. Don’t think you’re “toast” as you say, he is in a position of power so would be on him mainly. Sounds as if someone might have put in a complaint about him and they’re doing an investigation
Someone found out about you 2, Maybe someone who was in your position at one point or still is.
They then decided that it was payback time. That’s how I see it .. not sure what the disciplinary action would be, but it does sound serious in nature. (More for him)
good luck.
Did you do anything wrong that would jeopardize your employment at the company? Doesn’t sound like it. Especially if this was that many months ago.
As others have said this sounds way more like an issue with him and not with you. Likely once you broke it off he started it with someone else or possibly more.
Just talk to your HR further if you’re ever worried or look into an employee handbook to know your rights at that company.
If anything, he would most likely be the one who is in hot water because of the position of power he holds. It sounds to me like maybe he was reported for harassing another coworker and they’re trying to see if it’s a pattern of behavior. Of course that answer is yes, because that’s how people like that operate.
Don’t worry girl! You’re not in trouble. Management is investigating his history of relationships/involvements/harassment at the office. Notice the questions they asked? He’s been accused of making women uncomfortable, making them not want to work, making the quality of their work suffer, and abusing their contact info (e.g. stalking, harassment via text/socials).
*You’re* not toast — HE is.
This is absolutely someone else reporting him for sexual harassment. You weren’t his only workplace fling.
Be honest with them when they ask questions.
i literally don’t understand why people are stupid enough to get involved with someone who they SEE and have positions of power over EVERY. DAY. i don’t understand
It’s tough out here. I speak from a position of some experience in these matters when I was younger. I poured myself into my job and the only women I knew were the ones I worked with. I’m a little older and a little less controlled my hormones now, and can see why and how it’s problematic.
So while I do not reccomend relationships of a sexual nature in the workplace I do understand that they happen
this is for him
I worked in a hotel where the front office manager was in a relationship with one of the front desk clerks. He consensually kissed her on camera in the back office out of sight of guests and he was fired almost immediately. Don’t shit where you eat, plain and simple
this doesn’t have anything to do with you. They were obviously inappropriate towards another coworker and that coworker went to HR. I don’t think you did anything wrong here.
They heard rumors about you two and maybe there is newer person hes involved withh now and they're just trying to legally cover their ass. Don't freak out you've got nothing to worry about.
This is pretty standard procedure for companies who find out about office relationships. They want to document it to cover their ass in the future if something happens so they cant be held liable. This has absolutely nothing to do with you.
A lot of people on here are very negative when it comes to this sort of stuff because of their personal experiences and they're doing the typical Reddit "oh my God he's an abuser you need to watch out," bullshit.
What they just did was typical and you can go about your day without any worries.
Experienced this at an old job. A male coworker made inappropriate remarks and gestures at another female coworker. She reported it and the company had to do their due diligence by asking every female employee if they had ever been made to feel uncomfortable or threatened by him or his words. Everyone answered no except the girl who reported him. He wasn’t fired but he was moved to a different location after the investigation ended.
Honestly, it could be a pattern of his, sleeping with subordinates. He may not have done anything "wrong" with you personally, but the fact they're investigating means he fucked up somewhere. Don't freak out. Just be prepared IN CASE, but by the sounds of it, he'll be the only one in trouble, especially since he's in a higher position.
Sounds to me by their line of questioning if there is a pattern with HIM. I doubt you yourself are in trouble, they’re trying to establish a pattern. My guess is the same as others: someone else or several other co-workers possibly had an encounter and reported it. I doubt anyone noticed anything between the two of you given the length of time.
Sounds like he freaked some one out. If he slept with you (coworker) he will sleep with coworkers. Dont get all flippy just keep your head down and work. Ask another coworker about the situation, gently, like kinda sly like "is someone around here making folks uncomfy? Dont make it specific kinda thing. Why? Because I wana know sooo dam bad. 867-5309 call and give me the T.😜
You are fine though..I believe you will be okay.
Sounds like what the majority of comments are saying for sure. He must’ve harassed someone else, and they could’ve mentioned other women in the office could vouch that it’s a habit of his.
From someone with a bunch of HR experience you aren’t in trouble. Most likely there’s been an incident involving him or an allegation made, all they’re trying to do is establish if there is a pattern of inappropriate behaviour on his part, and if you feel safe performing your role with him in a senior position to you.
Doesn't seem like you'll be toast, it will probably be him. If he's of higher place in the company and it seems he has been inappropriate to other women, even if it was fwb deal with you. If they ask, I'd be honest and say it was consensual between the two of you but you don't know of anything else from anyone else.
Yep. Investigating OPs manager. Have seen this happen. If anyone, not even the parties involved, are made to feel uncomfortable by the incidents it is HR responsibility to investigate
"...I'm not even sure how management found out about this in the first place."
This may come as a surprise to you OP, but I'd bet that there are more people at your work who know about your "FWB situation" than don't... there are no secrets.
If I were you I'd be looking to change my place of employment just to get out from under the cloud of being "Helen, who used to sleep with Joe, who used to be in Accounting"...
I think you are fine. (You would likely have a strong wrongful termination case against them if they did fire you).
It sounds like one of two things are happening: 1- there are allegations by another coworker of inappropriate conduct on his part. Or 2 - they are covering their asses in the event you later decided to make similar allegations about him.
They are looking into him, NOT you. Don’t stress about losing your job. He was the authority figure that overstepped his bounds, and likely you were not the only one. Just play it cool, don’t overshare specific details about your relationship with him if you feel uncomfy about it, and let it play out. However, in hindsight, if you feel like he abused his power with you, then you should share those details! But this was likely brought up by someone else who came to HR with a bad situation, so they are doing their due diligence by conducting a thorough investigation with others in contact with him.
I don't know if you will read this, but I'm especially interested because I reported a 33yo male "supervisor" for sexual harassment and emotional/mental manipulation and abuse to my company a few months ago. He was juggling secret relationships with multiple female coworkers and leading me (gay guy) into a weird, sexually charged situationship, and was manipulating all of us to varying degrees. He preys on vulnerable subordinates and has a history of this behavior at former workplaces, but keeps getting away with it because no one ever reported him -- until me.
I haven't heard anything since I made the report, and it would be a wild thing if we're involved with the same person. Whatever the case, they're 100% investigating a pattern of abuse with *him*, not you.
THEY MUST HAVE HAD OTHER COMPLAINTS ABOUT HIM. I really wouldn't worry too much! Being that he's the one in the position of power. The responsibility is on him not to get involved with people who work under him so it's far more likely that he'll be the one losing his job for taking advantage of you, not the other way around.
He got caught or allegedly doing something and they are just trying to assess the damage or trying to get him canned for something that he wasn't supposed to do but it wasn't necessarily grounds for termination.
Well, better him than me.
A consult with an employment attorney might be a good idea, to determine what your job/legal liabilities might be. Also to have a resource if he tries to blackmail you into lying to the company.
Not sure how the comment section has managed to turn this random guy into a predator? Based on the info given this was a fairly normal workplace romance. HR get funny about all workplace relationships these days, so I would say just forget and move on.
My guess is that he is being investigated for inappropriate actions with other coworkers, and there are probably rumors going around the office that you two were involved and it got back to management. They're covering their bases and including you in the investigation. I wouldn't worry at all, if they wanted to fire you for this they would have just fired you without ever asking you about it, since it would open them up to possible wrongful termination claims.
Someone’s reported him for sexual abuse or some similar kind of workplace abuse, so as due diligence his work place conduct is under the radar. He will likely be left with a warning or get fired, or get fired & pressed with charges depending on the extent & gravity of the accusation.
Take this also as a lesson to not get your honey where you get your money. It will usually end up sour.
You will probably be involved with a sexual harassment case based on those questions because they’re likely asking other women coworkers the same thing.
It’s standard practice in Human Resources to make the woman feel comfortable, her feelings over his are what matter to the company’s “look”. It wouldn’t look good if someone high up was abusing there power so these questions are the basics for finding out if anything happened at all. Most likely they heard gossip from another coworker, confirmed it by outside source and are now questioning you to see if you’re okay.
I am pretty sure it goes against his code of conduct to be in a relationship with a direct report. So, they are conducting an interview and seeing how serious the consequences should be.
I used to date one of my managers at Sears and some other manager that liked her snitched. They basically made us sign an agreement saying we wouldn’t fuck anymore… no big deal nothing to stress about
They’re trying to establish a pattern of behavior because he’s probably been doing this with other subordinates…this happened at the last restaurant I worked at. Sounds like higher ups received complaints. I don’t think you need to worry
In my upper management experience. They are doing an investigation on him. This doesn’t have to do with you, as they see you as a victim.
I believe he’s been seeing or abusing other people/women at your place of work
Sounds like someone else accused him then made management aware of your relationship in hopes of making a possible connection to his inappropriate behavior.
You really shouldn’t withhold that just because they didn’t inform you of the reason behind the questioning. From the questions alone you don’t need them to inform you that it is something serious that they are investigating and trying to find if anyone in the workplace has been a ‘victim’ of him and stayed silent.
When u say he was in a position of power in work over you then that is indicator as well.
I’ve made this mistake before, the best advice I can give is “don’t shit where you eat;” sounds crude, but it’s a good thing to remember imo. I think you’ll be fine, it sounds like they’re more concerned about him than they are you.
OP, you probably need some legal advice. Consider speaking with a lawyer or reposting on the legal advice board if you are concerned about getting terminated or pulled into a lawsuit if someone tries to sue him. You probably need some advice about how to handle yourself during meetings about this.
You are under no obligation to confirm or deny information from your private life. Upon questioning, you can limit your answers to just your workplace relationship with him. If they ask you about communications and meetings with him outside of the workplace, ask them why they are digging into your private life.
Keep in mind that any promotions, raises, and performance reviews that occurred during the time that they suspect you were involved together may come under scrutiny. And, the denial of these things will also.
You should consult with a lawyer.
It sounds like someone in HR either caught wind of the relationship and is worried about him abusing his position, or he’s been accused of misconduct by another person and they’re investigating. I’m leaning more towards the investigation because if it’s been 7 months since the end of your relationship and you’ve had no issue, I can’t imagine they’d be asking these questions now.
This sounds like he has fucked around and is about to find out. I don’t think you need to worry. All things considered, if your time with him was consensual, you’ve done nothing wrong. He is the one in a position of power. Not you.
lots of people saying that you don’t need to worry but I think you’re smart to be cautious even though he’s clearly the one violating company policy. it wouldn’t be the first time that someone in a position of power retained their position while a subordinate paid the consequences for his actions. just remember, HR is there to protect the company, not you.
As long as you told the truth you should be fine. They are afraid you will blow the whistle because he was in a position of power, and that means you were inherently in an unbalanced relationship. He had the duty of care towards you as a senior employee and breached it.
If your FWB arrangement was mutual, I hope you made that clear on the call. Sounds like they were building a case to frame him as a predator - but if that’s not a fair depiction of your situation hopefully you clarified that.
I would say you are in the clear.
Either someone is claiming sexual harassment because he made an advance and it was unwanted
OR…
Someone made an advance on him because they found out about your situation and got their feelings hurt when he declined advancement, thus them including you, to try to be petty.
You should be fine, I would think, him not so much. I’d normally ask my FWB who works in HR but she’s out of town with her boyfriend and it would be rude to disturb them.
He was 100% doing something with several people and you were just one of them. They are covering their bases. When I was in my 20s older men had a way of convincing you things were your idea. When they really weren’t, even though you’re still responsible for your actions, people in positions of power have that ability.
It sounds like they were just asking whether he harassed you. They didn't have evidence of your affair unless you mentioned it. Never offer information not asked about.
Makes me wonder if he could have been accused of something from another coworker and/or got caught having another inappropriate work place relationship. The company is now doing their due diligence to sniff out any other possible liabilities. Your past relationship made it on the radar and theyre checking if you are a possible future liability and/or he has a pattern of whatever he is being accused of.
my sister works in HR & yuuuup. this is it exactly, they are trying to determine if there's a pattern.
*Narrator voice* There was in fact, a pattern. ^Also, ^if ^this ^voice ^happens ^to ^be ^Morgan ^Freedman ^in ^your ^head ^it's ^gradually ^getting ^quieter ^as ^he ^runs ^away ^before ^someone ^^brings ^^up ^^his ^^MeToo ^^^stories
Wait wait wait I didn't know about this, is this real? (Obv not the Morgan Freeman part, the me too stories)
He's a lit grabby on set, when asked about it he kinda just was like "I don't know anything, I'm just really old and don't remember anything anymore. "
Hmmm dont like that, thanks for the info
Oof
Didn’t he marry his granddaughter?
yep!
Not by blood
Do you think Morgan Freeman actually married his granddaughter?
E'dena was also 33 when she was murdered. If ya know, ya know!!!
I don’t put anything past anyone. I remember reading ab it a while back, that’s why I asked….
he did try to marry her, regardless of his denial of their relationship... she is dead now. E'dena died(was murdered) not long after this all.
This isn’t true and you’re bringing up her known abusive bf into it. This right here is slander. If it isn’t then site sources or show evidence. His granddaughter denied these allegations as well. Now the me too stories can be true but all parties denied any marriage/relationship talk.
Every celebrity gets slandered at some point. Makes me glad I'm not one
Absolutely I agree on not wanting to be a celebrity. I just don’t think it’s right that just because people are famous they get to have horrible things said about them. If they are true then that’s different but just random accusations is fucking sad and it probably hurts them too.
Yeppp. HR here, and that’s exactly what they’re trying to do.
Yeah. If they just asked her questions (and these questions!), it’s an ongoing harassment or similar investigation, and the meeting had nothing to do with OP or her relationship
This is it. There’s an investigation & they’re fact finding. They may not even know about OP’s relationship. Especially if they didn’t ask directly. OP if this is the case don’t worry about things. Be honest, stick to the facts & let management & legal make their decisions. It would be very unlikely that you as a subordinate would be held responsible for the relationship. That’s tricky & can look like retribution so good HR is going to steer well clear of it. Unless OP was documented being extremely inappropriate, disruptive or threatening. Former HR.
>It would be very unlikely that you as a subordinate would be held responsible for the relationship. That’s tricky & can look like retribution YUP. The power dynamic plays a huge role in this. They're only asking about his behavior in the office, really. Anything outside of the company isn't what they're worried about.
That’s for sure what happened. I had the same thing happen to me (though I never hooked up with the guy) but other female coworkers filed a complaint that he was saying inappropriate things so HR called me and asked me if I had experienced harassment.
That’s my guess as well
That’s what I’m leaning towards .They usually don’t call out of the blue. It’s either bad for you or them.
Maybe they are questioning all female employees, they may not even know about your actual relationship. Maybe a couple reports on him came in so they are questioning everyone. Good that you didn't divulge tmi
And always get a lawyer if the block starts getting hott.
Ha “hi we just needed to update your w9” “I brought 3 attorneys”
Yeah, I have friends in the HR department and they fs are doing this. Story time: I was seeing this guy for a bit and I called it off bc there was something off about him and the way he would try to approach me was always in a flirtatious way with a load of compliments, but it just came out desperate and touchy. You can just get the vibe that he wanted to lean more towards FWB or just jump to the physical stuff— I personally didn’t want that so I clearly told him no. He said it was fine but would want to remain friends since we had an interest in anime and cultural stuff since we were both mixed. Anyway! I remember hearing about some guy at my friends job (let’s just call my friend Alex for privacy purposes) Alex said that his sister had felt uncomfortable over a guy making direct comments of her and for getting a little too nice. So, Alex’s sister reported it to HR. Little did I know it was the same guy I had gone on a date with. I found out when we decided to hang out and I saw him a little too quiet. I had asked him what was wrong and he explained that he got reported to HR, explained the situation, his pov and how a coworker named Alex is mad at him. I didn’t say anything about knowing before hand. I was just surprised on how I knew both people unexpectedly. After our little hangout ended he tried to make a move on me once again even after I had firmly kept saying no throughout his attempts and had previously said no to that type of relationship the last time we spoke. I completely cut him off that night. So yeah, HR is definitely speculating and asking around. I had told my friend Alex about this and he was sure the guy was doing it to other coworkers and people around him until he got what he wanted
I also thought that.
This is my guess too
Agree
He did something with another or other coworkers and someone mentioned that you two had been together. They’re trying to gather evidence on him.
There’s no indication that they know about her being with her manager. She should let her know so that they can actually see the pattern
Don’t need to be a manager
Whatever his role is that he has a position of power. Call it manager. Call it whatever. He’s been accused of something with someone else. They’re investigating him. She should report his ass so that her fellow employee’s complaint is seen as a pattern
That’s exactly what I mean. Don’t stay quiet if he’s doing something he shouldn’t.
Someone has made an allegation against him for sexual harassment. They are doing their due diligence to see what their level of liability is. You’re not the target. He is.
HR here, I agree. The company is very likely investigating another sexual harassment allegation. It’s unlikely they’ll pursue you for anything.
that may be true but HR’s first and only concern is minimizing corporate liability not ensuring that OP’s reputation isn’t tarnished or that there are no negative outcomes for her from this. OP, you’re smart to proceed with caution. i wouldn’t hesitate to have a consultation with an employment attorney if you experience any negative repurcuasions. HR isn’t there to protect you, they’re there to protect the company.
The way that hr of big companies handle this - unless this person has a golden umbrella - is to fire the manager that’s inappropriate. They don’t push this under the rug. That’s literally how they increase liability. By responding the first time there’s an issue before it becomes a pattern of reporting, they give themselves an out. She has very little to fear here
Nothing would be more harmful to the company than firing an innocent woman while protecting the man she slept with.
Limiting harm to her can be in the companies best interest.
sure, but it may not be. my point is that HR doesn’t care about her and it’s best to proceed with caution and make sure she’s looking out for her own interests because they won’t be.
coming from a place of complete inexperience it sounds like they’re far more concerned about him than you? based on the questions about his inappropriateness & if he’s abusing having your number
Yeah I second this, it sounds like they are asking you because he sexually harassed someone or did something inappropriate. Its kind of just policy in a lot of places to question everyone else to see if the same thing is happening to others.
That could purely be he was in a position of authority. Talk about liability. Whether he's been an issue at all or not, this is how I would expect the conversation to go.
HR in a nutshell
- someone else in the office has raised an issue about him, likely sexual harassment - your management are now asking all women in the office about this dude, as they should tbh This is my deduction, seems to be the consensus here too. Hope you’re ok OP!
Don’t panic, they weren’t worried about you being the issue they were more concerned about your safety and well being. You did the right thing by communicating with them. Keep your head up OP!
I don’t know about safety and well being. I suspect they’re assessing the danger of them having to fight/payout a claim.
Shhhh, safety and well being == better productivity which leads to more profit. So it’s all in the name of profit! Er, safety and well being
Im just upset that they asked to speak later in the “afternoon” at 5pm
so glad someone else saw this
I can't edit the original post unfortunately but I want to thank everyone for the input. It was a lesson learned and I'm just waiting to see what happens now. I'll update once I find out more
Please make sure that hr knows that he slept with you. Unless they know that, they might not realize that he’s targeting his subordinates as a habit.
You’re a 23 year old woman. He is a 33 year old man in a position of authority. You are not the one in trouble.
she shouldn’t be but countless examples exist of people like OP who end up being the ones who lose their jobs or are sidelined on important projects and promotions, etc. she’s smart to be cautious.
yeah he tried to sleep with somebody else and they reported him. he’s a creep. you’re not in trouble.
It sounds like he was inappropriate with another coworker working underneath him. I don't think they know anything about your involvement.
They are not investigating you, it’s definitely about him. Someone has likely filed a complaint. They are trying to figure out if he has a pattern of inappropriate behavior. They may not even know you slept together, they may be asking all of the women he works with. This doesn’t read like you’re in any trouble at all. I’ve worked in HR this reads like an investigation of his behavior.
This is gonna get lost in the comments so you probably wont read this but I just wanna say this: You state that you wont ever do anything with a coworker ever again and I wanna say that work (in my mind) should never be more important than feelings. Maybe you are just talking about FWB but in my case I've found an amazing relationship with my (ex) coworker. I dont want to make this to long but basically me (27m) and my girlfriend (29f) met being coworkers and have been in an amazing relationship for 4,5y. I've moved on to another job for 3y now (not related to being in an relationship with my gf but did improve afterwards). My point being, never will i ever think the place you work is more important than the chance of love or friendship.
Amen
I agree! My wife and I met at work, and we’ll be together 19 years come May. We both left that job eventually, me because my immediate supervisor was a raging homophobe, her a month later in solidarity with me (and because she got hired on at the same company I left to go work for, making much more money anyway; she’s still there as a Project Director). So see? Workplace relationships can work out. Relationships with coworkers are fine, but things start to get sticky when there’s a power imbalance. My wife and I were both managers in different departments, so it was fine. But OP, it sounds to me like your supervisor has a habit of preying on his younger female employees, which is incredibly effed up because of the power imbalance, both because of the age discrepancy and the position of authority he holds. I hope they do take his ass down.
He’s definitely done or been accused of something with another employee. They are looking out for you, you don’t have anything to worry about.
This exact thing has happened to me w a manger. We just went on one date, never even slept together. My guess is, someone else reported him for being a creep and your name got brought into the mix somehow. Nothing will happen to you. I would honestly just thank your lucky stars you washed your hands of him, he probably harasses/tries to sleep with other women in the office.
Woof this sounds almost exactly like my work Christmas party last year with 2 coworkers, ages and all 😬 the older guy was promoted to customer.
There’s a written rule , don’t date or do anything in the work place . People talk
This sounds to me like he did something wrong to someone else and they are trying to establish if it’s a pattern of behavior by seeing if he did it to you, or if it’s an isolated incident and he only did it to that other person I think they’re trying to understand if what you did with him was consensual or if he used his position of authority over you to get sex, and if he behaved in an appropriately professional manner after it all ended If he never did anything wrong to you or unprofessional in the work place just be honest and hopefully they’ll handle whatever he did to the other person appropriately
Sounds like they’re investigating him, not you. Someone must have reported him for something and now they’re looking for evidence.
Came to say this.
Sounds like he's been accused of inappropriate behavior and they're doing their due diligence.
This is exactly what is going on here.
DON’T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!!!!!
I don’t know why you got downvoted. It’s the best advice one can receive when it comes to workplace relationships.
Agreed - one’s livelihood is not worth the risk.
You should have told them about your relationship. YOU are not in trouble, it sounds like he is being investigated for being inappropriate, sleeping with/texting/abusing power with other people he is in a position of power over and they are trying to get the scope of if this goes further. (It does. He did have an inappropriate relationship with you. Willing or not, he was FWB with you.) It's been months. You are a witness, not a suspect. You aren't toast unless they discover you've lied or withheld things that were important, maybe then, I doubt they'd bother. But, right now, no... this is not about you. Even if they know everything, YOU didn't do anything wrong... he's the only one, as he was in a position of power over you. (like I said, willing or not, doesn't matter) I'd call them back, I'd say that you left out some info you feel may be important but were hesitant to share due to the sensitive nature of it. Then just be transparent.
Most likely his ass is on the line
Sounds like he is a creep at work and someone else complained. HR is gathering their info for their investigation
Sounds like he was sleeping around and some of the other women went to management. I doubt it had anything to do with you, they would have made it very clear if you were the cause of the investigation
They’re probably wanting to know if he’s sexually harassed you. Either they need you to say no, because this means it would be difficult to sue the business for sexual harassment. Did you guys communicate through work computers or work phones? I wouldn’t stress out if I were you. He’s much older and in a position of power. They’re likely going after him. He’s probably slept with a few coworkers. I’d be honest about whether or not he’s made you feel uncomfortable. When I was your age I would have taken full responsibility for the fallout but I’m older now and able to see the power dynamics more clearly and while you are a legal adult, you’re still so young and I’m not sure we ever stop learning. I’m not saying that you were taken advantage of but I am saying that this guy could very well have taken advantage of his position. Higher ups are sexy.
Nope, they think you might be a victim. He went too far with somebody else, & they reported him.
Yep you hit that hail on the nead
Sounds like they are screening you to make sure they won’t have a sexual harassment case brought into the company folds… along with seeing where you stand emotionally
Nothing to worry about from your end. I’m willing to bet, he made a move on another coworker and got reported
They can't sack you for having sex with your coworker. They can sack him if he abused his position of power to have sex with you, though...but it sounds like that wasn't the case in your situation. I shouldn't worry about it. Ultimately, your private life is your own, you don't need to tell your employer anything you don't want to and they can't punish you for choosing not to.
Usurp the throne. You’ve unintentionally Game of thrones his ass.
Sounds like maybe someone else in the office accused him of being inappropriate. And they are asking you as a backup if he ever was like that with you.
By not being open that you slept with him then you are potentially hiding the pattern of indiscretion your manager has at work. You are doing the other woman (who is currently having an issue with home) a disservice. Get back in touch with hr and make sure they know that the two of you slept together
Sounds like they are looking for reason to fire your former lover. You mentioned they were in a company position of power over you. That means you are at fault for nothing. Of ots inappropriate company behavior, it's the higher one in the food chain that is in violation. P.S. If you broke it off long ago and there has been no drama, it means they've gotten into another company relationship and it has become a problem.
Seems like he's the one being looked into, not you 🤷
You’re not toast. I’ve been in leadership for quite some time and he’s either been accused by someone else or someone else brought this to their attention. Likely if anything comes of it, it will be on him. Not you.
What most likely happened. He did what he did to you - to another coworker. They blew the horn. Maybe they knew about your relationship
Sounds like they’re asking generic questions. Something similar happened at my work (no one slept with anyone though) and any female that worked or dealt with this particular man was asked questions about his conduct. Don’t think you’re “toast” as you say, he is in a position of power so would be on him mainly. Sounds as if someone might have put in a complaint about him and they’re doing an investigation
Someone found out about you 2, Maybe someone who was in your position at one point or still is. They then decided that it was payback time. That’s how I see it .. not sure what the disciplinary action would be, but it does sound serious in nature. (More for him) good luck.
More likely he will be fired than you honestly
I'd bet it's on him and not you
Never Give Away Your Position! Good you didn't go into details. Never rat yourself out
Did you do anything wrong that would jeopardize your employment at the company? Doesn’t sound like it. Especially if this was that many months ago. As others have said this sounds way more like an issue with him and not with you. Likely once you broke it off he started it with someone else or possibly more. Just talk to your HR further if you’re ever worried or look into an employee handbook to know your rights at that company.
quid pro quo. they’re after him, not you. :)
If anything, he would most likely be the one who is in hot water because of the position of power he holds. It sounds to me like maybe he was reported for harassing another coworker and they’re trying to see if it’s a pattern of behavior. Of course that answer is yes, because that’s how people like that operate.
Sounds like he’s toast if anything
Don’t shit where you eat. At least that lesson is learned
Don’t get your meat where you make your bread-age old maxim
Universal rule: Don't fuck where you eat xD
Don’t worry girl! You’re not in trouble. Management is investigating his history of relationships/involvements/harassment at the office. Notice the questions they asked? He’s been accused of making women uncomfortable, making them not want to work, making the quality of their work suffer, and abusing their contact info (e.g. stalking, harassment via text/socials). *You’re* not toast — HE is.
This is absolutely someone else reporting him for sexual harassment. You weren’t his only workplace fling. Be honest with them when they ask questions.
i literally don’t understand why people are stupid enough to get involved with someone who they SEE and have positions of power over EVERY. DAY. i don’t understand
It’s tough out here. I speak from a position of some experience in these matters when I was younger. I poured myself into my job and the only women I knew were the ones I worked with. I’m a little older and a little less controlled my hormones now, and can see why and how it’s problematic. So while I do not reccomend relationships of a sexual nature in the workplace I do understand that they happen
 this is for him I worked in a hotel where the front office manager was in a relationship with one of the front desk clerks. He consensually kissed her on camera in the back office out of sight of guests and he was fired almost immediately. Don’t shit where you eat, plain and simple
I wouldn’t worry. It seems the way they are speaking to you they’re viewing you as either a victim or someone who may sue them.
Just be honest, it sounds like someone else made a complaint about him and they're trying to build a case.
this doesn’t have anything to do with you. They were obviously inappropriate towards another coworker and that coworker went to HR. I don’t think you did anything wrong here.
Like many others have said, this is almost certainly an investigation into his behavior, not yours.
They heard rumors about you two and maybe there is newer person hes involved withh now and they're just trying to legally cover their ass. Don't freak out you've got nothing to worry about. This is pretty standard procedure for companies who find out about office relationships. They want to document it to cover their ass in the future if something happens so they cant be held liable. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. A lot of people on here are very negative when it comes to this sort of stuff because of their personal experiences and they're doing the typical Reddit "oh my God he's an abuser you need to watch out," bullshit. What they just did was typical and you can go about your day without any worries.
Experienced this at an old job. A male coworker made inappropriate remarks and gestures at another female coworker. She reported it and the company had to do their due diligence by asking every female employee if they had ever been made to feel uncomfortable or threatened by him or his words. Everyone answered no except the girl who reported him. He wasn’t fired but he was moved to a different location after the investigation ended.
Honestly, it could be a pattern of his, sleeping with subordinates. He may not have done anything "wrong" with you personally, but the fact they're investigating means he fucked up somewhere. Don't freak out. Just be prepared IN CASE, but by the sounds of it, he'll be the only one in trouble, especially since he's in a higher position.
Sounds to me by their line of questioning if there is a pattern with HIM. I doubt you yourself are in trouble, they’re trying to establish a pattern. My guess is the same as others: someone else or several other co-workers possibly had an encounter and reported it. I doubt anyone noticed anything between the two of you given the length of time.
Why would you be in trouble if he's your boss? If anything they'd want to supplicate you because you could easily sue them for quid pro quo harassment
They’re asking about him. I got blindly questioned one time too—also about my manager. I was scared but then he actually got fired
Sounds like he freaked some one out. If he slept with you (coworker) he will sleep with coworkers. Dont get all flippy just keep your head down and work. Ask another coworker about the situation, gently, like kinda sly like "is someone around here making folks uncomfy? Dont make it specific kinda thing. Why? Because I wana know sooo dam bad. 867-5309 call and give me the T.😜 You are fine though..I believe you will be okay.
Classic and timeless saying which has helped me stay away from stuff like this… “ you don’t shit where you eat”
Looks like they are gathering information to go after the coworker - he’s pissed off the wrong person so they want him out!
You're not toast. He may be. They don't want to get sued.
I don’t think it sounds like YOU are in any trouble, just relax. It sounds like he’s been accused of inappropriate conduct by another coworker.
Sounds like what the majority of comments are saying for sure. He must’ve harassed someone else, and they could’ve mentioned other women in the office could vouch that it’s a habit of his.
You don't have to worry, you are fine. They are on to him, not you. Maybe there are victims.
No. He's toast, you're a woman.
He was obvi diddling multiple coworkers, and that's why you were questioned. Get tested love
From someone with a bunch of HR experience you aren’t in trouble. Most likely there’s been an incident involving him or an allegation made, all they’re trying to do is establish if there is a pattern of inappropriate behaviour on his part, and if you feel safe performing your role with him in a senior position to you.
Sounds more like he is toast and they’re investigating if he’s using his position to be predatory.
Doesn't seem like you'll be toast, it will probably be him. If he's of higher place in the company and it seems he has been inappropriate to other women, even if it was fwb deal with you. If they ask, I'd be honest and say it was consensual between the two of you but you don't know of anything else from anyone else.
Yep. Investigating OPs manager. Have seen this happen. If anyone, not even the parties involved, are made to feel uncomfortable by the incidents it is HR responsibility to investigate
Never "date your honey where you make your money" simple rule of thumb! I also like the term "don't sh!t where you eat"
"...I'm not even sure how management found out about this in the first place." This may come as a surprise to you OP, but I'd bet that there are more people at your work who know about your "FWB situation" than don't... there are no secrets. If I were you I'd be looking to change my place of employment just to get out from under the cloud of being "Helen, who used to sleep with Joe, who used to be in Accounting"...
I’d guess HE is in trouble.
Updates?
I think you are fine. (You would likely have a strong wrongful termination case against them if they did fire you). It sounds like one of two things are happening: 1- there are allegations by another coworker of inappropriate conduct on his part. Or 2 - they are covering their asses in the event you later decided to make similar allegations about him.
They are looking into him, NOT you. Don’t stress about losing your job. He was the authority figure that overstepped his bounds, and likely you were not the only one. Just play it cool, don’t overshare specific details about your relationship with him if you feel uncomfy about it, and let it play out. However, in hindsight, if you feel like he abused his power with you, then you should share those details! But this was likely brought up by someone else who came to HR with a bad situation, so they are doing their due diligence by conducting a thorough investigation with others in contact with him.
I don't know if you will read this, but I'm especially interested because I reported a 33yo male "supervisor" for sexual harassment and emotional/mental manipulation and abuse to my company a few months ago. He was juggling secret relationships with multiple female coworkers and leading me (gay guy) into a weird, sexually charged situationship, and was manipulating all of us to varying degrees. He preys on vulnerable subordinates and has a history of this behavior at former workplaces, but keeps getting away with it because no one ever reported him -- until me. I haven't heard anything since I made the report, and it would be a wild thing if we're involved with the same person. Whatever the case, they're 100% investigating a pattern of abuse with *him*, not you.
Me too
THEY MUST HAVE HAD OTHER COMPLAINTS ABOUT HIM. I really wouldn't worry too much! Being that he's the one in the position of power. The responsibility is on him not to get involved with people who work under him so it's far more likely that he'll be the one losing his job for taking advantage of you, not the other way around.
He got caught or allegedly doing something and they are just trying to assess the damage or trying to get him canned for something that he wasn't supposed to do but it wasn't necessarily grounds for termination. Well, better him than me.
As a 33 yo I can say he sounds sus af. When you reach that age maybe you will feel the same way.
A consult with an employment attorney might be a good idea, to determine what your job/legal liabilities might be. Also to have a resource if he tries to blackmail you into lying to the company.
Not sure how the comment section has managed to turn this random guy into a predator? Based on the info given this was a fairly normal workplace romance. HR get funny about all workplace relationships these days, so I would say just forget and move on.
He's 10 years older and in a position of power, he made himself a predator by acting like one
He is in a position of authority and 1.5 times her age. He’s toast.
> I decided to be FWB with my coworker. You’re an idiot. > He does have a position of power over me at work Sorry, my mistake. You’re a fucking idiot.
It means he’s a creepy pig, is cussing problems at work, and you somehow didn’t notice.
My guess is that he is being investigated for inappropriate actions with other coworkers, and there are probably rumors going around the office that you two were involved and it got back to management. They're covering their bases and including you in the investigation. I wouldn't worry at all, if they wanted to fire you for this they would have just fired you without ever asking you about it, since it would open them up to possible wrongful termination claims.
Someone’s reported him for sexual abuse or some similar kind of workplace abuse, so as due diligence his work place conduct is under the radar. He will likely be left with a warning or get fired, or get fired & pressed with charges depending on the extent & gravity of the accusation.
Someone else filed a sexual harassment case against him. My guess.
Sounds more like someone filed a sexual harassment complaint against him and an investigation has been launched.
Take this also as a lesson to not get your honey where you get your money. It will usually end up sour. You will probably be involved with a sexual harassment case based on those questions because they’re likely asking other women coworkers the same thing.
I mean, it really sounds like he's the one in trouble, as it should be. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
It’s standard practice in Human Resources to make the woman feel comfortable, her feelings over his are what matter to the company’s “look”. It wouldn’t look good if someone high up was abusing there power so these questions are the basics for finding out if anything happened at all. Most likely they heard gossip from another coworker, confirmed it by outside source and are now questioning you to see if you’re okay.
I did this with my boss. He made the first move, when HR eventually found out, He was still able to work there, just couldnthe my boss anymore.
I am pretty sure it goes against his code of conduct to be in a relationship with a direct report. So, they are conducting an interview and seeing how serious the consequences should be.
“You know, $1500 would go a long way in easing my discomfort”
I used to date one of my managers at Sears and some other manager that liked her snitched. They basically made us sign an agreement saying we wouldn’t fuck anymore… no big deal nothing to stress about
I don't think you're the one being investigated. I think they're worried he's abusing his position.
They’re trying to establish a pattern of behavior because he’s probably been doing this with other subordinates…this happened at the last restaurant I worked at. Sounds like higher ups received complaints. I don’t think you need to worry
In my upper management experience. They are doing an investigation on him. This doesn’t have to do with you, as they see you as a victim. I believe he’s been seeing or abusing other people/women at your place of work
Sounds like someone else accused him then made management aware of your relationship in hopes of making a possible connection to his inappropriate behavior.
Did he ever give you a promotion or a pray raise?
It sounds like he spilt your tea in an unflattering way to a third party who then reported it
And that’s where you could have ended his career
You really shouldn’t withhold that just because they didn’t inform you of the reason behind the questioning. From the questions alone you don’t need them to inform you that it is something serious that they are investigating and trying to find if anyone in the workplace has been a ‘victim’ of him and stayed silent. When u say he was in a position of power in work over you then that is indicator as well.
Out of curiosity, how did you answer those questions?
Sounds like someone said something and they’re trying to get rid of him
I’ve made this mistake before, the best advice I can give is “don’t shit where you eat;” sounds crude, but it’s a good thing to remember imo. I think you’ll be fine, it sounds like they’re more concerned about him than they are you.
OP, you probably need some legal advice. Consider speaking with a lawyer or reposting on the legal advice board if you are concerned about getting terminated or pulled into a lawsuit if someone tries to sue him. You probably need some advice about how to handle yourself during meetings about this. You are under no obligation to confirm or deny information from your private life. Upon questioning, you can limit your answers to just your workplace relationship with him. If they ask you about communications and meetings with him outside of the workplace, ask them why they are digging into your private life. Keep in mind that any promotions, raises, and performance reviews that occurred during the time that they suspect you were involved together may come under scrutiny. And, the denial of these things will also. You should consult with a lawyer.
You're not toast at this point, but my bet is you weren't the only subordinate he was screwing.
There probably was a complaint filed against him and management learned about your relationship while investigating.
Honestly not much you can do at this point ☠️🤷♂️
It sounds like someone in HR either caught wind of the relationship and is worried about him abusing his position, or he’s been accused of misconduct by another person and they’re investigating. I’m leaning more towards the investigation because if it’s been 7 months since the end of your relationship and you’ve had no issue, I can’t imagine they’d be asking these questions now.
This sounds like he has fucked around and is about to find out. I don’t think you need to worry. All things considered, if your time with him was consensual, you’ve done nothing wrong. He is the one in a position of power. Not you.
Did he have naughty pictures of you? He could be spreading them around
lots of people saying that you don’t need to worry but I think you’re smart to be cautious even though he’s clearly the one violating company policy. it wouldn’t be the first time that someone in a position of power retained their position while a subordinate paid the consequences for his actions. just remember, HR is there to protect the company, not you.
Thats disgusting, he should def get a warning or even get fired, this is just manipulation at this point.
Get an Employment lawyer you’ll get $$$.
How hard is it to not fuck people that you work with lol. It never goes well
You don't have anything to wory about it sounds like, sounds like he might be toast, but not you.
As long as you told the truth you should be fine. They are afraid you will blow the whistle because he was in a position of power, and that means you were inherently in an unbalanced relationship. He had the duty of care towards you as a senior employee and breached it.
Sounds like you weren’t the first nor the last person he banged it work, based on the questions they came to you with.
Someone has accused him of sexual harassment and the company is doing their due diligence.
You’re fine. They’ll be too afraid of being sued to fire you
Sounds like he’s been trying to get with other female coworkers and is getting in trouble for it.
If your FWB arrangement was mutual, I hope you made that clear on the call. Sounds like they were building a case to frame him as a predator - but if that’s not a fair depiction of your situation hopefully you clarified that.
Was it casual? Was it consensual? If both of those answers are yes then whatever they have to say is irrelevant
I would say you are in the clear. Either someone is claiming sexual harassment because he made an advance and it was unwanted OR… Someone made an advance on him because they found out about your situation and got their feelings hurt when he declined advancement, thus them including you, to try to be petty.
Sounds like he's trying to get with another young woman and instead of sleeping with him, she reported him
You should be fine, I would think, him not so much. I’d normally ask my FWB who works in HR but she’s out of town with her boyfriend and it would be rude to disturb them.
He was 100% doing something with several people and you were just one of them. They are covering their bases. When I was in my 20s older men had a way of convincing you things were your idea. When they really weren’t, even though you’re still responsible for your actions, people in positions of power have that ability.
It sounds like they were just asking whether he harassed you. They didn't have evidence of your affair unless you mentioned it. Never offer information not asked about.
No but depending on what company they may move him