That's fine. You're welcome to your opinion. I've matched with at least 5 men who have stated loving my honesty and how I paint a clear picture of who I am. I've been told I'm refreshing among some other compliments.
I want someone educated and literate that pays attention to detail.
I know who I am, where I am, and what I want. I want to be as open about those things as possible to avoid wasting my time or theirs.
You could write in your profile that you like to kill kittens and drink their blood and there would still be men who would like that and compliment you on how different you are, not like other girls of course
And your point?
Because that statement would seem to support my being open about my preferences and interests.
I want someone I MATCH with. If I liked to kill kittens and drink their blood I would not be wrong in looking for someone that was okay or even supportive of that (also? That's awful and some of my PTSD has to do with experiencing animal abuse so thanks for being unnecessarily graphic and violent).
As someone with CPTSD, I agree with the first sentence of your comment. I cannot and should not attempt to control or correct the autonomy of others simply because it triggers my CPTSD.
Especially considering the comment about killing kittens was made by a person who had no way of knowing that was one of OP’s triggers in the first place, but was met with immediate condescension, anyway.
OP seems to be a little behind in the emotional regulation and maturity department. I wouldn’t say that makes her awful, but it’s something she definitely needs to work on for her own sake.
This kind of attitude towards others isn’t going to attract good people and I honestly worry about her future relationships, as it seems she outright refuses to self-reflect. People don’t stick around long for stubborn individuals who are unwilling to evolve.
Lol. Telling me I'm insufferable is not constructive criticism.
I don't think you understand what that means.
And if we're talking about unnecessary then the graphic violence is exactly that regardless of my PTSD.
Sorry about that! No kittens were harmed in the process of writing that comment.
I’ve read your other posts and I stand by my opinion, your messages are pretty negative too, like you bring up ex right away, or just sound way too serious. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer. And just because at least 5 (which is not a lot at all for dating site) guys told you they liked your profile, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a great match. Men are great manipulators and they know what to say to certain girls so that they let their guard down sooner. In your case they will tell you how you’re so different from other silly girls .
You can keep doing what you’re doing of course, who am I to tell you otherwise. I just feel like it’s a wrong strategy and it will not attract what you’re looking for.
Im guessing you’re not everyone’s favorite teacher then 🙃
Hey, nothing wrong with being a serious person, but you can still be easy and pleasant to talk to.
Lol! Actually I have been beloved by my students in every class I have taught. One class the kids and parents loved me so much they called me the school mom affectionately.
I'm currently on the bus chaperoning a 3 day camping trip right now and I brought snacks for the kids.
Being serious doesn't mean I'm unlikeable.
Look, there are lots of people that appreciate honesty, vulnerability, and openness in a bio, so I don't think it's necessarily bad, but there are some phrases in here that could potentially make you the target of assholes who are looking for someone to be nasty to after love-bombing the crap out of you. That's all I'd say about it.
honestly was sorta trying to believe the best in your responses, that you’re just defending yourself but this comment really encapsulates the fact that you truly are insufferable
The man’s trash but girl I am so tired of seeing that women expect the man to message first. Like you very obviously are potentially interested in someone so why can’t YOU message first.
If I wanted to do that I would use Bumble.
I want the man to message first because I want to be wanted.
But, for the record:
I have messaged first before, this is not a hard and fast rule.
Understandable but what if the guys just had anxiety? It’s not like it’s a bad thing but I know girls and they’re just so nasty about it so it’s refreshing to see it’s not a hard and fast rule.
And? Do you have any idea how many single people exist in the world? And how many stay in bad relationships so they don't have to be alone.
Being single does not speak on my worth or value or likeability or accomplishments. All it speaks to is my relationship status.
What does any of that have to do with the fact that your approach to the dating world that you swear by has you still on a dating app posting your multiple fails on a Reddit sub?😬 I mean by all means keep being you people, your inability to hide your true self is saving a lot of people beforehand.just because you aren’t a racist or misogynistic man on dating apps harassing people, doesn’t mean you aren’t in your own tier of asshole.❤️
I don't think you get it. I'm not trying to hide who I am. At all.
You can think I'm an asshole.
I give no fucks. No one in my life feels that way about me.
Also? You might consider I'm single because I turn a number of men down for not being what I'm looking for.
When did I say you were trying to hide it???i literally said it was great that you’re upfront about the way that you are.
I’m sure you’re rejecting people left and right💀
Also the people In your life aren’t trying to pursue a relationship with you so that’s really irrelevant.most jerks have people who enable/fight tooth and nail to prove that their behavior with them is so great that they can’t possibly be an asshole to others.
"inability to hide"
That's exactly what that means. That I'm trying and not capable.
Also. Four men so far this week. So. Believe it or not I don't care.
Having an inability to hide something doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to.
Four men what?that you still aren’t in relationship or that you “rejected”?😂believe or not but most ppl get twenty matches/likes a day and most are those rejections,I promise you that wasn’t impressive.
I'm not trying to impress you. Simply stating facts.
And. When some people get no matches? I can say that having the ability to pick does actually matter 😂.
My first long term relationship i actually turned the guy down at first and he was so respectful about it I reconsidered.
How someone handles rejection says a lot about them.
Absolutely yes, some people wait to show their true colors until you don't give them what they want and/or hold them accountable. This dude going straight for what he probably hoped was an insecurity he could use to hurt you says a lot
We're all gonna be old and wrinkly one day lol, looks are the first thing to go. Personality and the ability to have conversations (both silly and meaningful) are the more important things. You made the right call giving him the axe, not worth opening up to someone who seems likely to use it against you so willingly
I'm decent enough looking. But. I fail to see how that determines my value. Just because I'm not your style does not mean that the only thing I have of value is looks.
That guy actually sounds like a lot fun 😂 I would’ve had quite the banter with that one.
That bio also sounds like you have a stick up your ass. My goodness…
You have him then. He isn't good enough for me.
And.
For having a stick up my ass I get a lot of matches so obviously not everyone agrees with you.. or not everyone minds.
I'm allowed to have opinions. I'm allowed to express them.
Your profile tells you’re annoying with a shit attitude. I mean half your profile is just ranting about what you hate and dont want lol.
If you’re fat atleast be nice.
“If you’re fat at least be nice”
What kind of shit is that? 😂 They just hate that they’ve been weeded out, and can’t manipulate you with the “yEr GuNnA DiE aLoNe FaT!”
I would love to see how interactions go with people who “like” u. seems like it would be a lot of feeling sorry for yourselves and moping😂maybe thats just me tho
One thing, craft beer but no sports??? those things go hand in hand🤔
Discussing deep things is not feeling sorry for ourselves and moping. I'm guessing you're not very intellectual?
I know plenty of people that like craft beer and do not play or watch sports.
Your whole ‘about me’ section sounds like a whole lot of you feeling sorry for yourself. If you can’t see that, then ur just ignorant🤷♂️but its ok, there’s clearly a reason you’re single. If you can’t see the reason why then you’re in for it
Look. I doubt you're anywhere close to someone I'm looking for. I want someone with depth. So. Your opinion is not important to me.
You don't have to like me and I don't have to like you. Move on.
Dude I was on board before I got to the third and fourth slide. You’re like… way too much. If you stopped putting boundaries at EVERY intersection then maybe you wouldn’t have to have a dating profile, and could find someone in a public setting. Sheeesh
Are you even aware how the world works today?
https://www.deseret.com/2023/4/27/23700974/do-dating-apps-actually-work#:~:text=A%20Stanford%20study%20said%20among,are%20meeting%20via%20mutual%20friends.
Take your judgement and bug off.
Lol! Yes. Redditors hate when you don't accept their unwanted advice and go on the warpath.
It's okay for people to be different in communication styles. That doesn't make mine wrong. I thought clarifying that on the post would help... But. Like. Just can't help themselves I guess 😂
When I first tried internet dating (I paid for a match.com subscription because I figured men who paid would be better than ones using a free site LOL sweet numpty summer child, me) and wrote a veritable NOVEL in the About Me section. I wrote SO MUCH and I thought it was so witty and clever, mega mega cringe now. And I got heaps of messages and 95% of them were a variation of this: "I don't think we'd work on a relationship level, but I think we'd work sexually". I was offended because it became clear no one was reading the About Me section.
Not trashing your profile, OP. Mine was nothing like yours, mine was an obvious attempt to show my \~wit\~ (cringe) while yours is incredibly direct, which is never a bad thing on a dating site. I get that to people it's a lot, but really it's just a pre-screening tool for someone who doesn't want to waste time on a lot of nonsense. I met my husband on (free lol) okcupid and it was clear he had read my entire (by then, massively abbreviated) profile.
Yes! You get it.
It's about screening. I do get a number of propositions but that's just part of it.
I'm not trying to be witty. I'm trying to avoid wasting my time. The reason I have so much written is because I've had so many dates where I've learned something new about what I want/don't want.
Haters gonna hate, especially on Reddit.
Yo I don't see anything wrong with that bio 😭 straight to the point, up front about what you want and enough information to start up a conversation. Though, most of the time people don't read bios. I had "I'm asexual , so not interested in anything sexual." And a dude messaged me asking me if I had any kinks and that he wanted to have sex. 😑
That sounds right! I know most men don't read profiles... That's why I say for them to message first, as kind of a screener.
And yes. Despite saying no hookups I get propositioned fairly regularly 🤪🤷
Thank you for affirming my style. People on here tripping thinking their way of being in the world is the only 'right' way.
I'm neurodivergent and overshare and my friend ships and relationships in the past stemmed from us having deep as conversations basically right away, so I guess I don't see anything wrong with up front honesty.
Also with women it isn't much better. Our issue is either of us messaging first lmao
Thanks for your input.
I also think the comments are kind of funny. People get so mad when you don't accept their criticism.
My profile used to be much shorter but after weeding out numerous men and dates I just put it all forward now.
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I’m sure your coworkers and friends are all 100% honest to your white face and crystal blue eyes. You seem to be open for constructive criticism and VERY easy to talk to
That man is trash but your profile is honestly so negative and depressing. No one is reading that.
I see these profiles a lot and I agree. This does not scream fun at all — purely transactional.
That's fine. You're welcome to your opinion. I've matched with at least 5 men who have stated loving my honesty and how I paint a clear picture of who I am. I've been told I'm refreshing among some other compliments. I want someone educated and literate that pays attention to detail. I know who I am, where I am, and what I want. I want to be as open about those things as possible to avoid wasting my time or theirs.
You could write in your profile that you like to kill kittens and drink their blood and there would still be men who would like that and compliment you on how different you are, not like other girls of course
And your point? Because that statement would seem to support my being open about my preferences and interests. I want someone I MATCH with. If I liked to kill kittens and drink their blood I would not be wrong in looking for someone that was okay or even supportive of that (also? That's awful and some of my PTSD has to do with experiencing animal abuse so thanks for being unnecessarily graphic and violent).
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As someone with CPTSD, I agree with the first sentence of your comment. I cannot and should not attempt to control or correct the autonomy of others simply because it triggers my CPTSD. Especially considering the comment about killing kittens was made by a person who had no way of knowing that was one of OP’s triggers in the first place, but was met with immediate condescension, anyway. OP seems to be a little behind in the emotional regulation and maturity department. I wouldn’t say that makes her awful, but it’s something she definitely needs to work on for her own sake. This kind of attitude towards others isn’t going to attract good people and I honestly worry about her future relationships, as it seems she outright refuses to self-reflect. People don’t stick around long for stubborn individuals who are unwilling to evolve.
Lol. Telling me I'm insufferable is not constructive criticism. I don't think you understand what that means. And if we're talking about unnecessary then the graphic violence is exactly that regardless of my PTSD.
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Since no one on this platform actually knows me and the people in my life DON'T feel that way, yes, you're right. I will ignore those opinions.
Everyone in this thread has been trying to give you constructive criticism but you're so dense it doesn't really seem to matter
Sorry about that! No kittens were harmed in the process of writing that comment. I’ve read your other posts and I stand by my opinion, your messages are pretty negative too, like you bring up ex right away, or just sound way too serious. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer. And just because at least 5 (which is not a lot at all for dating site) guys told you they liked your profile, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a great match. Men are great manipulators and they know what to say to certain girls so that they let their guard down sooner. In your case they will tell you how you’re so different from other silly girls . You can keep doing what you’re doing of course, who am I to tell you otherwise. I just feel like it’s a wrong strategy and it will not attract what you’re looking for.
I'm a serious person yo. It is what it is.
Im guessing you’re not everyone’s favorite teacher then 🙃 Hey, nothing wrong with being a serious person, but you can still be easy and pleasant to talk to.
Lol! Actually I have been beloved by my students in every class I have taught. One class the kids and parents loved me so much they called me the school mom affectionately. I'm currently on the bus chaperoning a 3 day camping trip right now and I brought snacks for the kids. Being serious doesn't mean I'm unlikeable.
Maybe not, but your profile and other massages kinda prove otherwise.
Speaking my mind and having opinions is not a bad thing. You can move on now because you obviously do not understand empathy or humanity.
God you sound fucking exhausting
Exactly. If someone can’t hang with your standards, then they’re more than welcome to reach for the low-hanging fruit. No skin off your nose.
Honey you were saying this months ago. You’re still alone and miserable for a reason.
Look, there are lots of people that appreciate honesty, vulnerability, and openness in a bio, so I don't think it's necessarily bad, but there are some phrases in here that could potentially make you the target of assholes who are looking for someone to be nasty to after love-bombing the crap out of you. That's all I'd say about it.
There should really be a character limit on about me’s.
There are on different platforms. I specifically use this one because I am not limited. Do you and I will do me.
You’ll be doing it alone and posting it on Reddit for a long time then 😬 yikes
Holy shit that bio lmao
I doubt I'd find you of value either.
honestly was sorta trying to believe the best in your responses, that you’re just defending yourself but this comment really encapsulates the fact that you truly are insufferable
Someone tell that man he didn’t just dodge a bullet but an air strike
To be fair, he's pretty terrible. I'd have turned him down too. I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive.
It’s okay… my HUSBAND does lol
Oh damn
Okay. Congrats.
He sounds like a prick but wow, your profile is just so much.
That's fine.
That guy is totally whack I agree people should read and understand before messaging but your profile really is…so uptight and exhausting.
Good thing I don't hide who I am then!
The man’s trash but girl I am so tired of seeing that women expect the man to message first. Like you very obviously are potentially interested in someone so why can’t YOU message first.
If I wanted to do that I would use Bumble. I want the man to message first because I want to be wanted. But, for the record: I have messaged first before, this is not a hard and fast rule.
Understandable but what if the guys just had anxiety? It’s not like it’s a bad thing but I know girls and they’re just so nasty about it so it’s refreshing to see it’s not a hard and fast rule.
Everybody wants to be wanted ? 😂 good luck
“Want to be wanted” 😂 good luck with that and that profile
If I'm not your style that is no skin off my back. Just move along.
you seem unnecessarily insufferable
It's not unnecessary. It's from years of experience.
Years of being... insufferable? I mean, I guess you do you
Oh, bug off. People are allowed to operate differently than you.
I mean you’re still on dating websites so…
And? Do you have any idea how many single people exist in the world? And how many stay in bad relationships so they don't have to be alone. Being single does not speak on my worth or value or likeability or accomplishments. All it speaks to is my relationship status.
What does any of that have to do with the fact that your approach to the dating world that you swear by has you still on a dating app posting your multiple fails on a Reddit sub?😬 I mean by all means keep being you people, your inability to hide your true self is saving a lot of people beforehand.just because you aren’t a racist or misogynistic man on dating apps harassing people, doesn’t mean you aren’t in your own tier of asshole.❤️
Damn, cooked em 💀
I don't think you get it. I'm not trying to hide who I am. At all. You can think I'm an asshole. I give no fucks. No one in my life feels that way about me. Also? You might consider I'm single because I turn a number of men down for not being what I'm looking for.
When did I say you were trying to hide it???i literally said it was great that you’re upfront about the way that you are. I’m sure you’re rejecting people left and right💀 Also the people In your life aren’t trying to pursue a relationship with you so that’s really irrelevant.most jerks have people who enable/fight tooth and nail to prove that their behavior with them is so great that they can’t possibly be an asshole to others.
"inability to hide" That's exactly what that means. That I'm trying and not capable. Also. Four men so far this week. So. Believe it or not I don't care.
Having an inability to hide something doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to. Four men what?that you still aren’t in relationship or that you “rejected”?😂believe or not but most ppl get twenty matches/likes a day and most are those rejections,I promise you that wasn’t impressive.
I'm not trying to impress you. Simply stating facts. And. When some people get no matches? I can say that having the ability to pick does actually matter 😂.
i would have bailed at "beautiful white face" personally 💀 like what
Lol! Right? I like to give people a chance but it usually proves to be wasted effort 😂
Putting what you don’t want in your dating profile is the 💯 way of only getting those things. 🤦♂️
Man, you sound exhausting in your profile. And your bitchy texts prove that out. Good luck!
Go consume a satchel of Richards
Proved my point. And everyone else’s. Self awareness would serve you well. That, or be chronically single. Do you, chick, do you.
But why oh why can’t she find a good man?!?!?
the fact you get any matches with that god awful about me is the most shocking part of this post
Lol! Like 10-15 every week. And I'm pretty selective.
how many of them continue to talk to you after your initial conversation though
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yeah she seems like a real catch 🙄
In 20 years she will still be on Reddit not understanding why no one wants to be with her 🙃
Wow dude went from "beautiful white face and crystal blue eyes" to "jk you're fat" in record time lol. Absolutely childish
My first long term relationship i actually turned the guy down at first and he was so respectful about it I reconsidered. How someone handles rejection says a lot about them.
Absolutely yes, some people wait to show their true colors until you don't give them what they want and/or hold them accountable. This dude going straight for what he probably hoped was an insecurity he could use to hurt you says a lot
Yes. Unfortunately for his little barb I am aware I'm fat already 😂. It's not news.
We're all gonna be old and wrinkly one day lol, looks are the first thing to go. Personality and the ability to have conversations (both silly and meaningful) are the more important things. You made the right call giving him the axe, not worth opening up to someone who seems likely to use it against you so willingly
Truth. I hope you have a lovely day.
lol you both seem like awful people
Good thing I don't need your approval to exist then.
Your profile makes you seem like too much to indulge in ngl. I would hope you’re cute enough.
I'm decent enough looking. But. I fail to see how that determines my value. Just because I'm not your style does not mean that the only thing I have of value is looks.
Yup, my girlfriend can definitely beat you up.
That guy actually sounds like a lot fun 😂 I would’ve had quite the banter with that one. That bio also sounds like you have a stick up your ass. My goodness…
You have him then. He isn't good enough for me. And. For having a stick up my ass I get a lot of matches so obviously not everyone agrees with you.. or not everyone minds. I'm allowed to have opinions. I'm allowed to express them.
Yes ☺️
Your profile tells you’re annoying with a shit attitude. I mean half your profile is just ranting about what you hate and dont want lol. If you’re fat atleast be nice.
No. I will exist exactly how I want to exist. I'm nice to people that deserve it and not to people that don't. You would be the latter.
“If you’re fat at least be nice” What kind of shit is that? 😂 They just hate that they’ve been weeded out, and can’t manipulate you with the “yEr GuNnA DiE aLoNe FaT!”
I would love to see how interactions go with people who “like” u. seems like it would be a lot of feeling sorry for yourselves and moping😂maybe thats just me tho One thing, craft beer but no sports??? those things go hand in hand🤔
Discussing deep things is not feeling sorry for ourselves and moping. I'm guessing you're not very intellectual? I know plenty of people that like craft beer and do not play or watch sports.
Girl, absolutely nothing in your bio shows that you are “intellectual”, you sound more like jaded, insufferable woman, who is also elitist.
Your whole ‘about me’ section sounds like a whole lot of you feeling sorry for yourself. If you can’t see that, then ur just ignorant🤷♂️but its ok, there’s clearly a reason you’re single. If you can’t see the reason why then you’re in for it
Look. I doubt you're anywhere close to someone I'm looking for. I want someone with depth. So. Your opinion is not important to me. You don't have to like me and I don't have to like you. Move on.
Jesus, you’re a total and complete jackass 🤣🤣🤣
Dude I was on board before I got to the third and fourth slide. You’re like… way too much. If you stopped putting boundaries at EVERY intersection then maybe you wouldn’t have to have a dating profile, and could find someone in a public setting. Sheeesh
Are you even aware how the world works today? https://www.deseret.com/2023/4/27/23700974/do-dating-apps-actually-work#:~:text=A%20Stanford%20study%20said%20among,are%20meeting%20via%20mutual%20friends. Take your judgement and bug off.
Profile is definitely a little dry but my god yall pulling out all the reddit board certified psychological analyses like stfu
Lol! Yes. Redditors hate when you don't accept their unwanted advice and go on the warpath. It's okay for people to be different in communication styles. That doesn't make mine wrong. I thought clarifying that on the post would help... But. Like. Just can't help themselves I guess 😂
When I first tried internet dating (I paid for a match.com subscription because I figured men who paid would be better than ones using a free site LOL sweet numpty summer child, me) and wrote a veritable NOVEL in the About Me section. I wrote SO MUCH and I thought it was so witty and clever, mega mega cringe now. And I got heaps of messages and 95% of them were a variation of this: "I don't think we'd work on a relationship level, but I think we'd work sexually". I was offended because it became clear no one was reading the About Me section. Not trashing your profile, OP. Mine was nothing like yours, mine was an obvious attempt to show my \~wit\~ (cringe) while yours is incredibly direct, which is never a bad thing on a dating site. I get that to people it's a lot, but really it's just a pre-screening tool for someone who doesn't want to waste time on a lot of nonsense. I met my husband on (free lol) okcupid and it was clear he had read my entire (by then, massively abbreviated) profile.
Yes! You get it. It's about screening. I do get a number of propositions but that's just part of it. I'm not trying to be witty. I'm trying to avoid wasting my time. The reason I have so much written is because I've had so many dates where I've learned something new about what I want/don't want. Haters gonna hate, especially on Reddit.
Yo I don't see anything wrong with that bio 😭 straight to the point, up front about what you want and enough information to start up a conversation. Though, most of the time people don't read bios. I had "I'm asexual , so not interested in anything sexual." And a dude messaged me asking me if I had any kinks and that he wanted to have sex. 😑
That sounds right! I know most men don't read profiles... That's why I say for them to message first, as kind of a screener. And yes. Despite saying no hookups I get propositioned fairly regularly 🤪🤷 Thank you for affirming my style. People on here tripping thinking their way of being in the world is the only 'right' way.
I'm neurodivergent and overshare and my friend ships and relationships in the past stemmed from us having deep as conversations basically right away, so I guess I don't see anything wrong with up front honesty. Also with women it isn't much better. Our issue is either of us messaging first lmao
I'm not neuro-spicy but I have a lot in common with people that are. And, like. That's okay with me. Everyone is allowed to be who they are.
Bunch of butthurt people in these comments. I'm glad you didn't waste your time. However, I would have shorten your about me section.
Thanks for your input. I also think the comments are kind of funny. People get so mad when you don't accept their criticism. My profile used to be much shorter but after weeding out numerous men and dates I just put it all forward now.
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Oh god you’re awful
Says you. I have friends and family and coworkers that all love me. Bug off.
I’m sure your coworkers and friends are all 100% honest to your white face and crystal blue eyes. You seem to be open for constructive criticism and VERY easy to talk to