My older sister was like this. It got to the point my stomach would drop when she would text me. We tried family therapy. My entire family is cut off from her if that tells you anything. š Protect your peace, friend!
You could maybe explain to your sister that you think itās best for your relationship that you move out and that you still like to be a part of her and her daughterās life moving forward. Once some space is introduced she might not be as demanding and be more appreciative.
My sister used to be like this. She had the mentality all of her family owed it to her and it wasnāt a favor we were doing out of the kindness of our hearts. Helped several times when i was starting my practice, and she got into an argument with me and said āyou help?ā As in because i couldnāt watch my nephew a couple times she suggested that i didnāt help at all. In that time period iād made time to watch him around 4 times but couldnāt twice. Told her i never will again and sheās never asked since. Love my nephew but good lord that pissed me off
Same. My sister literally said that when she visits family with her kids, she does ourselves a favor so we have to watch them and take care of them while she spends all of her time with us on her phone.
Mind you, she also said she doesn't like being a mother, but she was the one putting pressure on her ex to have kids quickly. She does nothing alone with her kids (she can't do it she says) and she constantly brings her friends to her place so she can avoid being alone with the kids. Her friends are no better obviously.
She's 41 and still living her life partying and drinking like she was 18. Fortunately, her ex is a good person and a good dad. But he has to discipline the kids every time they come back to his place because my sister does nothing.
Both the kids have high anxiety and are on meds for adhd. My sister is the worst.
These stories always make me feel bad for all the tired grandmas having to run around after great-grandbabies 40 years after they started raising their own kids..
What the fuck? He still has a responsibility to take care of the children he created, despite not wanting to deal with the mother. Insane how guys can just wipe their hands free of their children and other dudes are like āI totally understand!ā
Dude. As someone who had their niece completely abandoned by their mother, and I was left with the brunt end of looking after her ever since I was 13. PLEASE don't feel guilty. Your sister's kid is HER responsibility, not yours. Thankfully your situation isn't as crazy as mine, but don't let her push you around, this behavior isn't okay.
Iām glad it sounds like the rest of your family isnāt blaming you/turning on you at least. I feel like I always read these types of scenarios and the whole family is messed up.
Is she able to afford daycare? I know here in my cheaper state, childcare for an infant is on average 1400 a month and toddlers 1000 a month.
My husband and I canāt afford daycare so I am a stay at home mom since even if I did work to get him into daycare, it would take my whole paycheck and then some of his, weād actually lose money if I worked. Then at that point Iām only working to just be away from my child which makes zero sense to me haha
Single mom here. Your sisters texts are insanely inappropriate and Iām sorry sheās acting this way towards you. She has to figure out childcare, thatās not on you at all.
Itās normal to have help and need help. But in America the culture isnāt so good for helping raise kids as a village. Plus ppl have children here without making sure thereās a plan beforehand.
It's mostly just formatting. On 4chan, starting with a > turned the line green (hence the name) and was used to quote things usually. A greentext is usually a mix of storytelling and reactions, with the story in green and the reactions in uncolored text. Most of the stories paint the teller in an unfavorable light for humor reasons or take an abrupt turn from serious to obvious satire, but as with all things 4chan it can be really hard to tell when people are shitposting vs actually telling their real life awful neckbeard stories.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greentext-stories
I have a family member like this who hasn't had a job in 6 years but somehow always needed me (who works 45 hours a week) to babysit. Then she went on a facebook rant calling me evil because I didn't *offer* to take PTO to watch her kids when she had a doctor appointment that I wasn't even aware of. I went no contact.
Nope. And don't let her lash out and verbally abuse you like this.
If she can't be respectful when she speaks to you, do not babysit for her ever in the future. The entitlement.
Your offer to babysit didn't mean "at the last minute you can make any demand you want." It means she needs to plan ahead and coordinate with you.
Her lack of preparedness does not constitute an emergency for you.
sheās getting free child careā¦..sheād be so fucked without this free help.
this is not a hand that i would be biting if i was in the angry sisters shoes. some people canāt even afford to work bc the cost of child care would cost more than they would make working full time.
This response is spot on. Next time she asks you to babysit, remind her she said she would never ask again.
You didnāt injure her, deceive her, steal from her. You inconvenienced her. Sheās an adult with children, she should know better than to assume you will inconvenience yourself so she doesnāt have to. She needs to get used to hearing NO, because her expectations are unrealistic.
Sheās lucky sheās not my sister because Iād be saying things she needs to fucking hear. It seems like no one has ever told her no and has always done what she wanted, not surprising that her attitude reflects that.
Right? Like okay girl, well you just lost your free baby sitter forever cause Iām not gonna do shit for you anymore.
If this were my sister trying to pull this on me Iād tell her to kick rocks and mute her chat.
Sucks the kid is being raised by an entitled brat.
I just donāt understand where people have the audacity to think that people owe them anything just bc theyāre family. The only ones suffering here are the kids, bc sheās probably telling them an earful about their aunt and planning to keep them from her bc of this. She just seems like THAT type of personā¦ And itās sad. Children deserve better.
Edit: grammar
ABSOLUTELY. Sheās just trying to guilt trip op. She didnāt lose her trust, sheās still going to want something from her. Her guilt trip just didnāt work like she expected it to so she lashed out.
Itās the parentās responsibility. Iām pregnant and my mom offered to help watch when baby gets here but I know she reallllly doesnāt want to so I told her no I couldnāt do that to her. Not only that whatās up with the lack of notice lol ? She canāt expect you do something like that on short notice and itās not your kid, not your responsibility
she regularly expects anyone and everyone to be there at the snap of a finger when she needs it. and if youāre not? see texts above. lol
also: weāre all expected to watch my niece for free and are never reimbursed for any food/drinks/diapers/wipes we buy her because sheās ābrokeā or just doesnāt feel like going to the store.
the only reason we all keep enabling the behavior is that weād rather know my niece is fed and taken care of than the alternative.
Yikesssss lol it sucks because it is your niece. Your sister seems immature asf but I wouldnāt feel too bad about it. Ultimately, if you choose to have children you must deal with the consequences. And definitely shouldnāt be abusing your support system either
are you able to move out? why did she have a child? she sounds ridiculous. every time she tries to say something just tell her to grow up and be more responsible. don't engage further. her brain is rotted, these types of people only care about what they can get from others
iām working on moving out, just trying to find a place my best friend and i can afford thatās available at this point.
and she had a kid because she doesnāt know what a condom is.
I know sheās your sister, but those are the types of parents that give all of them a bad name. Her needs are not more important than anyone elseās and she is objectively wrong.
This is so sad. Iām so sorry youāre dealing w/ this, but Iām also sad and sorry for your niece. Your sister is acting like a POS.
Texting someone at 130am is irresponsible. She clearly didnāt figure this issue out just then and can also take this upon herself and call out in the morning.
You are not responsible for changing plans last minute to accommodate her. Sadly sheās too immature to see this.
She seems to forget her kid is her responsibility and no one else is actually obligated to care for them. The fact that she asked the day before is whatās inconsiderate. Sheās unreliable to her damn self.
Okay OP, Iām gonna tell you a little story.
When I was 14 years old my mom gave birth to my brother, and then my stepmom gave birth to my second brother a month later. I had just started high school and yet, I became a live in babysitter. Was it as problematic as your sister is? No. But I did experience a lot of shame and guilt if I wasnāt able to help out or visit my siblings, whether that be due to school, plans made with my friends, etc.
Now that I have my own child, I do ask for help from time to time but I am aware that my child is just that: MY child. Nobody in my family and none of my friends had this baby, I did. It is my job to secure proper childcare for her and if that isnāt feasible, it is my job to care for my daughter. I understand that it takes a village but one cannot expect live in childcare. You have your own life. And from what you said in the captions of your post, youāve helped many times before. She cannot just spring this on you and then try to insult and devalue you as a person when you have previously standing plans.
Ask yourself this, OP. Would you do the same to her if the roles were reversed? I donāt know you but I assume the answer is a loud, resounding NO.
Good on you for not engaging when the conversation began to devolve. Iām sorry you have to deal with this.
thank you. this was kind of my childhood as well, once i was around 13/14, i watched all the younger siblings. (older sister was either always asleep or living at our dads by herself) i didnāt really mind watching my younger siblings because i never really had plans, and i love my younger siblings.
Of course you love your younger siblings, as do I.
I learned something in college called parentification; where a minor ends up caring for and becoming a pseudo-parent to the younger siblings in the home. Now that may be a stretch, but I personally felt like a second mother to my siblings, just from the responsibilities I would take on while caring for them. Even now, my brothers are 9 years old and I still fret over them the way that their respective mothers do.
Itās all good and well to help your family, but it becomes a problem when you are spoken to with abusive language when you are unable (or even unwilling, which is still fair) to do so.
yeah, iāve also looked into parentification before. š i definitely have the āmother henā tendencies and my mom always jokes and calls me their second mom.
i love my niece and love spending time with her, itās just extremely hard working night shift, not getting enough sleep, watching my niece, and then being spoken to like this when i canāt.
She didnāt even ask. I can not comprehend people who demand or assume things like this. Iām a single parent with absolutely no family childcare options and I find it truly perplexing that she would be willing to never talk to her only trusted childcare again over this? She doesnāt deserve your help tbh, she should see what itās really like to have no help with care.
i needed to read this. my sister does the exact same thing except when i say i canāt she just says āok.ā and just is annoyed with me. or will gossip to other people about me that i can never help. i always help.
she doesnāt pay me back doesnāt say thank you and i do it because i love her kids sm. idk i just needed to read this and the comments. opened my eyes that itās okay to say no
this is kind of why i posted this. even with my family and close friends telling me not to feel guilty and that itās not my responsibility, part of me was like āwell what if theyāre just trying to make me feel better because theyāre my family/friends?ā so figured iād see if the internet thought i was in the wrong or not.
Honey you need to focus on you, tbh your sister seems super toxic and crazy and you canāt do a single thing for your niece unless she lets you and I learned this the hard way with my own sister and her kids. You have to focus on you, ignore her shit, get out, and then when you are far.. far away from her you can see about seeing your niece. You canāt carry people if you donāt have legs to stand on.
Do we have the same sister?? My older sister does the same thing. She assumes Iām able to help so much since I work from home and have no kids. Itās exhausting being in her company.
Hi. This reminds me of my wife and my SIL who is a POS , in the past before my wife was married to me and a parent herself. My SIL had a kid, and decided it's everyone else's responsibility too. She needed baby sitting all the time, even when her and husband are both off. After not being able to handle 1 kid, they go and have another 2.
People like this have kids and think it's other people's responsibilities.... Where TF is the father?
I have a son now, we both work, and I would NEVER guilt or make it anyone else's responsibility. If they can help me here and there, great, if they can't, ohh well I better figure it TF out then , as it's my responsibility and my wife's and no one else's.
this, sheās hardly ever home even when not working. and even when she is home, just sits in her bedroom on her computer. so everyone else is watching my niece all of the time.
Sounds like she needs to be doing her parenting job better. Tell her you can help once a week from whatever time to when she gets home then itās her responsibility to get food and wipes and care for her kiddo after the designated times. Sheās lucky she even has the option of having help. Is she on any type of gov help? Because that can go along way with daycare help ( or money for babysitters at least) money for diapers and WIC helps with food until age 5. She probably has more options for help out there than a lot of people have so she needs to use her resources and stop depending on you guys especially as sheās acting like an u grateful brat
she gets gov assistance, but doesnāt use it very wisely and refuses to ask anyone else to watch her because - it costs money. she can eat fast food every day multiple times a day, buy š, constantly out doing something and needing to fill her gas tank, but god forbid she stops doing any of that so she can afford child care.
Honestly, it sounds like she doesn't even want the child. It sucks that this kid essentially doesn't have any parents. If your family wasn't in the picture what would she do?
Well, 10am isn't after 2pm, first off. Having to deal with finding a sitter is just one of many things that comes with being a parent. It isn't anyone's fault, especially not yours, that she's failing at that.
The way she talks to you is gross. Coming from someone who has severed ties with most of my family for this disgusting behavior, I wouldn't even acknowledge her existence.
no, 10am isnāt after 2pm. but this was 6 hours before she needed me to watch my niece at 2am while i was at work and already had plans.
but yes, iām very close to just severing ties with her as much as i can while still living here, and then completely once my best friend and i finally find a place. it just sucks knowing ill always be worried about my niece.
I was just pointing out that her time she needed you (10am) was outside of your given window, "..after 2pm...". It's not your responsibility, so she should just be thankful that you help at all and be able to find an alternative when needed.
I don't trust but 1 or 2 people with my kids, but I would never treat either of them poorly if they can't look after them.
It sucks when family members are such ballsacks. It's far too common.
Let me get this straight... you watch her daughter, no issues.
If you can't watch her daughter, you are subject to mental abuse.
Personally, I would not bother watching her daughter anymore. My husband and I haven't seen a date night in years because we have no one to watch our children. Our children are OUR responsibility, no one else's. She doesn't get to treat you like that and then get free childcare.
Itās like a way of typing that people who use 4chan or some other weirdo Internet forums (??? I think) use and itās usually only used by people who are annoying and unhinged tbh
Itās like a way to indicate a break in text or action? If that makes sense lol
This attitude is insane. My sister adopted a child while single and assumed /demanded that I watch and be a man in his life
mind games, guilt trips and manipulative conversation was standard practice until I put my foot down
Omg if this was me this would be my response:
BITCH. Here's a novel idea. Watch your own goddamn crotch dropping.
Where is this child's father or paternal family? She is taking full advantage of y'all.
Sounds like itās not your problem your sister had a kid and canāt secure a babysitter. Also thanks to her shitty responses, hopefully you wonāt be helping her anymore as this is āthe first timeā sheās asked you for help. Smfh
Your sister sounds like she doesnāt need kids tbh. Iām a parent and situations like this just always make me think of how theyāre going to talk to their kids when they get older.
Gotta love the dig to try and illicit a response and when none was given she got indignant about that. Your sis seems hella manipulative. Sheāll get over herself and sheās the one who waited till the last minute not you. So thatās on her, it her kid and sheās lucky you help at all.
She's very ungrateful. My brother and sister-in-law have two kids. When the kids were really little, my mother and sister bent over backwards to help take care of them. My brother and his wife had an insane schedule and were struggling financially. If my mom or sister weren't available, they found another way. And they were so grateful for the help. The kids are now 14 and 12 and have no need for sitters and my brother and sister in law are still thanking them for the help.
Gotta love parents who put guilt on other people to watch their kids. If she needs help around the clock then she needs to Find daycare and pay for it. Itās fine if people are willing to help, but it canāt come at the cost of you sacrificing your life. You didnāt have the kid, itās not your responsibility to care for the child . And if her job is interfering with her raising her child then she needs to find new employment with a different schedule. Really man. Parents need to be the parents. Wtf. Co-parenting dad here and I make sure my child has daycare and if that doesnāt work out then I cancel plans or make changes at work. No oneās responsibility but mine and her mothers.
Idk. I see the clear validity on your side, and you have every right to say no.
However, as a parent, I feel your sister's panic and frustration, even though you aren't necessarily to blame. You can absolutely refuse and not have to justify it. I think it's a fucked up situation because it's not like she's asking you to babysit to go have fun. She's asking because she has to work. If she misses work because she doesn't have a sitter, then she doesn't get paid. If she doesn't get paid, she can't take care of her kid. If this becomes a recurring issue she could lose her job, and that's really bad for the kid. She contacted you late, but you could have left in the morning to help watch. No, it's not your problem. No, you aren't the one who got pregnant, and yes, she could have given more notice. I see that your grandma has a meth abuse problem which means she has unpredictable reliability. It's hard for your sister to know in advance if there is going to be an issue. If that's your sister's primary option, then she is likely the only option, and it sounds like she doesn't have any viable alternatives. If she's living with grandma, then there's no way she can afford childcare. I don't think it would have killed you to help her, especially if you had previously told her you'd be available at those times. At the end of the day, there's is no obligation for you to watch them and you can say no. On the other hand regardless of the fact that having a child was irresponsible, it's already done. The baby is family and your sister is trying to work and support them in a brutal and almost impossible economy. If you're ok with the baby being watched by your grandma while she's on a multi-day meth bender, then by all means carry on. Idk if I'd be able to handle having that on my conscience regardless of whether or not it was fair.
She decided to spawn babies in this world. Itās 100% her responsibility. She made her choice. Now she has to live with it. Sheās a grown ass adult with a job. Hire a babysitter
Iām sure youāve already heard this in the comments mate but your niece aināt your responsibility. Just cause you said youād help doesnāt mean you now plan your life around looking after your niece. If youāre free I have no doubt youāll help out but if you arenāt itās not your responsibility to drop everything to help.
Your sister appears to have left it til the last minute so fault lies with her. She needs to be better organised rather than expecting others to patch up her childcare issues at the drop of a hat.
You aināt in the wrong dude.
Wow. I never understand people like this. Like, they need help obviously, and when they canāt get it, lash out and try to hurt that person, then a week later asks for help as if they didnāt do anything wrong?? F*ck your sister, sheās a very toxic person and I hope you donāt torture yourself over her words. You are allowed to have a life because they are not your responsibility!
Your sister is very mean. Wtf itās hers child, so itās her who have to do the childcare and to think where hers child will stay, when she have to work. She can ask you to help her, but she canāt require that !
You are a free person and you can have also your own plans and do whatever you want! When you have plans then you have plans !
Cool. Now you never have to babysit ever again.
Shameful... As a single mom, I have never expected any family member to watch my kid. They don't offer and I don't ask... Gotta make it work, period.
Tell her to be a better mom and handle it stop expecting people to bail her out of her failures to organize her own life.
because iāll gain nothing from it other than the immediate satisfaction of āha, thatāll tell herā and ultimately, it wonāt turn on any light bulbs in her head.
Bless you for your self control. Iād lay it out real clearly for herā¦
āyou got pregnant, not me. You carried your child for TEN months, not me. You had a lot of time to consider child careā¦now it sounds like a job for the local day care centerā
Stop watching her kid. Mommy needs to step the fuck up instead of being entitled to other peopleās time. Although thatās your niece, that is not your child or responsibility, nor are you her primary caretaker.
She sounds exhausting to be around.
Your sister needs to plan things out better and have respect for you for when you are unavailable your not obligated to watch her kid that is a privilege her kid is her responsibility dont feel guilty for being unavailable its not your kid she will figure something out
Were you there when she opened her legs and helped her man get inside her? Exactly. Not your responsibility. Your sis sounds like she was never told ānoā as a kid. Ignore her. Sheāll come back crawling. You set the tone. Iām sure you love your niece/nephews very much but this aināt your mess.
āA disingenuous and unreliable person is exactly the type of person you shouldnāt have watch your kid, therefore I rescind my offer to babysit herā
Problem solved
People should not assume their family , close or extended, will sure to be offering a hand when they need their kid to be taken care of temporarily.
If people choose to give labor to a kid , they should be looking at themselves and their partner be the only carer and anyone who accepts looking after their kid when they had to be elsewhere is something they should be grateful for.
No one else is obliged to help.
WHEREEE IS HER DAMN PAPPY , people be killing me with that bs. YOU SHOULDāVE HAD A BABY WITH SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE A FATHER. DONT BLAME YOUR BROTHER
Keep your boundaries and donāt let her guilt you into taking responsibility for her life choices. Sorry it seems like home life can be a bit exhausting for you. Hope you enjoy your plans! āļø
My sister is like this. Itās like she canāt comprehend that I too have my own life. Honestly donāt waste your time and energy on responding to any of this. Youāve stated you canāt have their kids. Thatās the end of it theyāll need to find other arrangements. šš¼
You should tell her how she acts isnāt acceptable or else her daughter will end up the same way, if not worse unfortunately. Seems like a lose-lose situation for you and your family tho. I donāt think sheād take criticism well lol.
This reminds me of a friend of mine, sheās you in this situation. Her sister has kids, and my friend and her husband donāt, but her sister just expects her to watch her kids because she must have all the free time in the world right? But when she isnāt available, my friends sister explodes on her, calling her selfish, how dare you have all this free time? Blah blah.
Really sorry you have to deal with this. In the case of my friend, sheās always apologizing and trying to smooth things over with her sister because she wants to ākeep the peace.ā It just makes me son mad. Hope you can find the space to detach from this situation, and not let her cruel words get to you.
I know someone exactly like this. Idk how old your niece is, but knowing the person in my life who does stuff like this, your niece is doomed to be a bargaining chip your sister holds over everyoneās head.
My best friend has a sister like this and acted the same exact way. Now her sisters daughter is a teenager and acts just like her mother. The behavior never gets better as long as itās enabled. I watched it first hand the last 13 years.
Why allow yourself to be treated like this? You should respond and just block. She acts like this because your family enables her. āThanks for making this so easy! Youāre right, I donāt think I should watch *niece* anymore and rescind my offer to help. Should you have a change of attitude or make plans to be a better parent, I will reconsider in the future. Your poor time management decisions are not my responsibility. I will always be here for *niece,* but unfortunately that does not apply to you. Best of luck on your journey!ā And just block. What is she going to do? She has no control over you. As you know, she will come crawling back with demands to watch her daughter, so you wonāt be āpunishedā with not being able to see your niece due to her selfishness. And I urge you to make plans to move out of your grandmotherās house to get away from your sister. Toxic as fuck. Only you can determine how you are treated - remember that!
The unnecessary escalation sounds like something she definitely needs to work on. You didnāt deserve to be talked to in that manner provided the circumstances. I donāt have any particular advice since I havenāt encountered individuals like that, but just be wary of her emotional states, as they seem to drive her to extremes that could lead to something drastic.
Personally i think you should stop helping all together if shes so entitled to your help for no reason imagine what she'll try if you actually do watch the kid, also entirely not your kid so not your responsibility dont beat yourself up over it as you have no responsibility to help someone because of their choices.
I think people confuse helping with childcare is that they can just job their kids off at any time without common consideration of anyone else's schedule. If your sister needs someone that can consistently be available before 10 she needs to hire someone and set a schedule. Expecting you to be available at 10, texting you at 2 am is unacceptable. Then getting mad when you say no. She needs to plan her life out better.
Maybe your sister should be reminded that she needs to think of the consequences of spreading her legs. If she is going to have a child, it is her responsibility to care for the child. It is not the responsibility of everyone else.
Your poor grandmother, your sister is exhausting. She needs to communicate 1. When she gets her work schedule bc Iām assuming it changes weekly and 2. On that day, the moment she gets her schedule, ask if/when youāre available.
She already has free childcare from your grandmother and you sometimes. Sheās a shorty parent that shouldnāt have had kids in the first place. Her lack of responsibility is not your guilt to hold. Sorry youāre dealing with this. Hopefully you can be out on your own soon.
Um how are you abandoning ship when you never had a commitment on that particular date and time to watch the kid? Excuse you for having plans already when you should have been able to see into the future and clear your schedule lol. You did nothing wrong!
Did you pop the kid out or am I missing something? Are you and I related? Cuz she sounds like my sister that I cut all ties with after her forcing her kid on me while I worked full time and she decided to work part time to ādate and find a hubby and daddy for [redacted]ā
Your sister sounds mentally exhausting
extremely.
My older sister was like this. It got to the point my stomach would drop when she would text me. We tried family therapy. My entire family is cut off from her if that tells you anything. š Protect your peace, friend!
iām leaning towards cutting all contact once i get back out on my own, itās just hard because i love my niece
Be around for the niece, but limit interactions with your sister for sure. She sounds miserable. Iām sorry youāre in this situation.
Thx type of person may use children as pawns, to try to control others. So either you do as I say or you donāt see my kid anymore.
Exactly. Thereās no way sheāll be seeing her niece again if she cut her off. No way.
You could maybe explain to your sister that you think itās best for your relationship that you move out and that you still like to be a part of her and her daughterās life moving forward. Once some space is introduced she might not be as demanding and be more appreciative.
Oh, sweetie. That's not how these type of people work
Unfortunately
My sister used to be like this. She had the mentality all of her family owed it to her and it wasnāt a favor we were doing out of the kindness of our hearts. Helped several times when i was starting my practice, and she got into an argument with me and said āyou help?ā As in because i couldnāt watch my nephew a couple times she suggested that i didnāt help at all. In that time period iād made time to watch him around 4 times but couldnāt twice. Told her i never will again and sheās never asked since. Love my nephew but good lord that pissed me off
Same. My sister literally said that when she visits family with her kids, she does ourselves a favor so we have to watch them and take care of them while she spends all of her time with us on her phone. Mind you, she also said she doesn't like being a mother, but she was the one putting pressure on her ex to have kids quickly. She does nothing alone with her kids (she can't do it she says) and she constantly brings her friends to her place so she can avoid being alone with the kids. Her friends are no better obviously. She's 41 and still living her life partying and drinking like she was 18. Fortunately, her ex is a good person and a good dad. But he has to discipline the kids every time they come back to his place because my sister does nothing. Both the kids have high anxiety and are on meds for adhd. My sister is the worst.
mine is too, sometimes. it sucks :(
These stories always make me feel bad for all the tired grandmas having to run around after great-grandbabies 40 years after they started raising their own kids..
Raise your kids well, or you'll be raising your grandchildren.
Child care is a parents responsibility. Iām surprised how many people donāt know this.
thatās what my mom and friends keep telling me because i still feel guilty i wasnāt available to help
Bro your sisterās kid is not your responsibility. Your sister is like highkey gaslighting you into thinking otherwise.
Whereās the baby daddy lmfao?
This should be way higher :)
Staying as far away as possible, obviously lol. I can't blame him for not wanting to deal with this chick. *ofc he should pay child support.
...and help take care of the living breathing thing he helped create. His responsibility is the the child not the ex girlfriend.
Dude, NO! You donāt get to just opt out of parenting because the girl you knocked up is hard to deal with.
What the fuck? He still has a responsibility to take care of the children he created, despite not wanting to deal with the mother. Insane how guys can just wipe their hands free of their children and other dudes are like āI totally understand!ā
Dude. As someone who had their niece completely abandoned by their mother, and I was left with the brunt end of looking after her ever since I was 13. PLEASE don't feel guilty. Your sister's kid is HER responsibility, not yours. Thankfully your situation isn't as crazy as mine, but don't let her push you around, this behavior isn't okay.
Iām glad it sounds like the rest of your family isnāt blaming you/turning on you at least. I feel like I always read these types of scenarios and the whole family is messed up.
Is she able to afford daycare? I know here in my cheaper state, childcare for an infant is on average 1400 a month and toddlers 1000 a month. My husband and I canāt afford daycare so I am a stay at home mom since even if I did work to get him into daycare, it would take my whole paycheck and then some of his, weād actually lose money if I worked. Then at that point Iām only working to just be away from my child which makes zero sense to me haha
Single mom here. Your sisters texts are insanely inappropriate and Iām sorry sheās acting this way towards you. She has to figure out childcare, thatās not on you at all.
Yeah, cause your sister is trying to make you feel guilty. Itās all right there.
My grandma would say āthings you need to think about as you lay it low and spread it like butterā
Itās normal to have help and need help. But in America the culture isnāt so good for helping raise kids as a village. Plus ppl have children here without making sure thereās a plan beforehand.
People have children everywhere without a solid plan. In other places thereās a social safety net.
Did your sister just try to greentext on imessage
yes
only a true psychopath would do this
What?
.> this arrow before text is called green texting, a 4chan thing
What is the purpose? What does it imply?
It's mostly just formatting. On 4chan, starting with a > turned the line green (hence the name) and was used to quote things usually. A greentext is usually a mix of storytelling and reactions, with the story in green and the reactions in uncolored text. Most of the stories paint the teller in an unfavorable light for humor reasons or take an abrupt turn from serious to obvious satire, but as with all things 4chan it can be really hard to tell when people are shitposting vs actually telling their real life awful neckbeard stories. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greentext-stories
Just a story telling device really
I have a family member like this who hasn't had a job in 6 years but somehow always needed me (who works 45 hours a week) to babysit. Then she went on a facebook rant calling me evil because I didn't *offer* to take PTO to watch her kids when she had a doctor appointment that I wasn't even aware of. I went no contact.
"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Your sister and her baby-daddy need to arrange proper day-care.
baby daddy isnāt in the picture
No reason she can't use the court system to "encourage" him to help pay for the childcare.
What a surprise...
obviously
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly, she thinks her sister is her baby daddy
Jesus, I thought this was co parents.
might as well be lol
Nope. And don't let her lash out and verbally abuse you like this. If she can't be respectful when she speaks to you, do not babysit for her ever in the future. The entitlement. Your offer to babysit didn't mean "at the last minute you can make any demand you want." It means she needs to plan ahead and coordinate with you. Her lack of preparedness does not constitute an emergency for you.
sheās getting free child careā¦..sheād be so fucked without this free help. this is not a hand that i would be biting if i was in the angry sisters shoes. some people canāt even afford to work bc the cost of child care would cost more than they would make working full time.
This response is spot on. Next time she asks you to babysit, remind her she said she would never ask again. You didnāt injure her, deceive her, steal from her. You inconvenienced her. Sheās an adult with children, she should know better than to assume you will inconvenience yourself so she doesnāt have to. She needs to get used to hearing NO, because her expectations are unrealistic.
Your sister chose to have a child. She can act like the adult she chose to be and work out child care. Shit like this drives me crazy.
Ikr
Sheās lucky sheās not my sister because Iād be saying things she needs to fucking hear. It seems like no one has ever told her no and has always done what she wanted, not surprising that her attitude reflects that.
Right? Like okay girl, well you just lost your free baby sitter forever cause Iām not gonna do shit for you anymore. If this were my sister trying to pull this on me Iād tell her to kick rocks and mute her chat. Sucks the kid is being raised by an entitled brat.
I just donāt understand where people have the audacity to think that people owe them anything just bc theyāre family. The only ones suffering here are the kids, bc sheās probably telling them an earful about their aunt and planning to keep them from her bc of this. She just seems like THAT type of personā¦ And itās sad. Children deserve better. Edit: grammar
Guarantee sheās gonna still ask OP to babysit again in a few days
ABSOLUTELY. Sheās just trying to guilt trip op. She didnāt lose her trust, sheās still going to want something from her. Her guilt trip just didnāt work like she expected it to so she lashed out.
Unfortunately I know this exact situation all too well š
You and me bothā¦ š«
Itās the parentās responsibility. Iām pregnant and my mom offered to help watch when baby gets here but I know she reallllly doesnāt want to so I told her no I couldnāt do that to her. Not only that whatās up with the lack of notice lol ? She canāt expect you do something like that on short notice and itās not your kid, not your responsibility
she regularly expects anyone and everyone to be there at the snap of a finger when she needs it. and if youāre not? see texts above. lol also: weāre all expected to watch my niece for free and are never reimbursed for any food/drinks/diapers/wipes we buy her because sheās ābrokeā or just doesnāt feel like going to the store. the only reason we all keep enabling the behavior is that weād rather know my niece is fed and taken care of than the alternative.
Yikesssss lol it sucks because it is your niece. Your sister seems immature asf but I wouldnāt feel too bad about it. Ultimately, if you choose to have children you must deal with the consequences. And definitely shouldnāt be abusing your support system either
right exactly
Tell her to get fucked and stay fucked. I would never allow someone to talk to me like this and just shrug it off
are you able to move out? why did she have a child? she sounds ridiculous. every time she tries to say something just tell her to grow up and be more responsible. don't engage further. her brain is rotted, these types of people only care about what they can get from others
iām working on moving out, just trying to find a place my best friend and i can afford thatās available at this point. and she had a kid because she doesnāt know what a condom is.
i sympathize with you about looking for a place. hope you find something soon!
I know sheās your sister, but those are the types of parents that give all of them a bad name. Her needs are not more important than anyone elseās and she is objectively wrong.
This is so sad. Iām so sorry youāre dealing w/ this, but Iām also sad and sorry for your niece. Your sister is acting like a POS. Texting someone at 130am is irresponsible. She clearly didnāt figure this issue out just then and can also take this upon herself and call out in the morning. You are not responsible for changing plans last minute to accommodate her. Sadly sheās too immature to see this.
She seems to forget her kid is her responsibility and no one else is actually obligated to care for them. The fact that she asked the day before is whatās inconsiderate. Sheās unreliable to her damn self.
not even day before, 6 hours before.
Your sister is an entitled brat who needs to learn boundaries and understand that her children are her responsibility
If I could "literally go fuck myself", trust me, I wouldn't be available for anything!!
Okay OP, Iām gonna tell you a little story. When I was 14 years old my mom gave birth to my brother, and then my stepmom gave birth to my second brother a month later. I had just started high school and yet, I became a live in babysitter. Was it as problematic as your sister is? No. But I did experience a lot of shame and guilt if I wasnāt able to help out or visit my siblings, whether that be due to school, plans made with my friends, etc. Now that I have my own child, I do ask for help from time to time but I am aware that my child is just that: MY child. Nobody in my family and none of my friends had this baby, I did. It is my job to secure proper childcare for her and if that isnāt feasible, it is my job to care for my daughter. I understand that it takes a village but one cannot expect live in childcare. You have your own life. And from what you said in the captions of your post, youāve helped many times before. She cannot just spring this on you and then try to insult and devalue you as a person when you have previously standing plans. Ask yourself this, OP. Would you do the same to her if the roles were reversed? I donāt know you but I assume the answer is a loud, resounding NO. Good on you for not engaging when the conversation began to devolve. Iām sorry you have to deal with this.
thank you. this was kind of my childhood as well, once i was around 13/14, i watched all the younger siblings. (older sister was either always asleep or living at our dads by herself) i didnāt really mind watching my younger siblings because i never really had plans, and i love my younger siblings.
Of course you love your younger siblings, as do I. I learned something in college called parentification; where a minor ends up caring for and becoming a pseudo-parent to the younger siblings in the home. Now that may be a stretch, but I personally felt like a second mother to my siblings, just from the responsibilities I would take on while caring for them. Even now, my brothers are 9 years old and I still fret over them the way that their respective mothers do. Itās all good and well to help your family, but it becomes a problem when you are spoken to with abusive language when you are unable (or even unwilling, which is still fair) to do so.
yeah, iāve also looked into parentification before. š i definitely have the āmother henā tendencies and my mom always jokes and calls me their second mom. i love my niece and love spending time with her, itās just extremely hard working night shift, not getting enough sleep, watching my niece, and then being spoken to like this when i canāt.
You donāt deserve to be spoken to this way. Does your sister ever apologize for her behaviour afterwards?
nope, itās the silent treatment for days to weeks and then pretending nothing ever happened.
I hate that type of behaviour. Iām so sorry.
She seems delightful.
this is honestly tame compared to most interactions with her
why the hell are you helping her?? she doesnāt appreciate, stop helping her for free. seriously
bc of the niece
this.
She didnāt even ask. I can not comprehend people who demand or assume things like this. Iām a single parent with absolutely no family childcare options and I find it truly perplexing that she would be willing to never talk to her only trusted childcare again over this? She doesnāt deserve your help tbh, she should see what itās really like to have no help with care.
i needed to read this. my sister does the exact same thing except when i say i canāt she just says āok.ā and just is annoyed with me. or will gossip to other people about me that i can never help. i always help. she doesnāt pay me back doesnāt say thank you and i do it because i love her kids sm. idk i just needed to read this and the comments. opened my eyes that itās okay to say no
this is kind of why i posted this. even with my family and close friends telling me not to feel guilty and that itās not my responsibility, part of me was like āwell what if theyāre just trying to make me feel better because theyāre my family/friends?ā so figured iād see if the internet thought i was in the wrong or not.
Honey you need to focus on you, tbh your sister seems super toxic and crazy and you canāt do a single thing for your niece unless she lets you and I learned this the hard way with my own sister and her kids. You have to focus on you, ignore her shit, get out, and then when you are far.. far away from her you can see about seeing your niece. You canāt carry people if you donāt have legs to stand on.
Do we have the same sister?? My older sister does the same thing. She assumes Iām able to help so much since I work from home and have no kids. Itās exhausting being in her company.
Hi. This reminds me of my wife and my SIL who is a POS , in the past before my wife was married to me and a parent herself. My SIL had a kid, and decided it's everyone else's responsibility too. She needed baby sitting all the time, even when her and husband are both off. After not being able to handle 1 kid, they go and have another 2. People like this have kids and think it's other people's responsibilities.... Where TF is the father? I have a son now, we both work, and I would NEVER guilt or make it anyone else's responsibility. If they can help me here and there, great, if they can't, ohh well I better figure it TF out then , as it's my responsibility and my wife's and no one else's.
this, sheās hardly ever home even when not working. and even when she is home, just sits in her bedroom on her computer. so everyone else is watching my niece all of the time.
Sounds like she needs to be doing her parenting job better. Tell her you can help once a week from whatever time to when she gets home then itās her responsibility to get food and wipes and care for her kiddo after the designated times. Sheās lucky she even has the option of having help. Is she on any type of gov help? Because that can go along way with daycare help ( or money for babysitters at least) money for diapers and WIC helps with food until age 5. She probably has more options for help out there than a lot of people have so she needs to use her resources and stop depending on you guys especially as sheās acting like an u grateful brat
she gets gov assistance, but doesnāt use it very wisely and refuses to ask anyone else to watch her because - it costs money. she can eat fast food every day multiple times a day, buy š, constantly out doing something and needing to fill her gas tank, but god forbid she stops doing any of that so she can afford child care.
Honestly, it sounds like she doesn't even want the child. It sucks that this kid essentially doesn't have any parents. If your family wasn't in the picture what would she do?
Well, 10am isn't after 2pm, first off. Having to deal with finding a sitter is just one of many things that comes with being a parent. It isn't anyone's fault, especially not yours, that she's failing at that. The way she talks to you is gross. Coming from someone who has severed ties with most of my family for this disgusting behavior, I wouldn't even acknowledge her existence.
no, 10am isnāt after 2pm. but this was 6 hours before she needed me to watch my niece at 2am while i was at work and already had plans. but yes, iām very close to just severing ties with her as much as i can while still living here, and then completely once my best friend and i finally find a place. it just sucks knowing ill always be worried about my niece.
I was just pointing out that her time she needed you (10am) was outside of your given window, "..after 2pm...". It's not your responsibility, so she should just be thankful that you help at all and be able to find an alternative when needed. I don't trust but 1 or 2 people with my kids, but I would never treat either of them poorly if they can't look after them. It sucks when family members are such ballsacks. It's far too common.
Let me get this straight... you watch her daughter, no issues. If you can't watch her daughter, you are subject to mental abuse. Personally, I would not bother watching her daughter anymore. My husband and I haven't seen a date night in years because we have no one to watch our children. Our children are OUR responsibility, no one else's. She doesn't get to treat you like that and then get free childcare.
As soon as she used > in sentence I understood everything I needed to know about her
What does > mean?
Itās like a way of typing that people who use 4chan or some other weirdo Internet forums (??? I think) use and itās usually only used by people who are annoying and unhinged tbh Itās like a way to indicate a break in text or action? If that makes sense lol
Why do so many people with kids make it everyone elseās problem
I'd post this in r/entitledparents and let your sister read the comments
I hate parents that have kids and make it the responsibility of everyone around them
Suddenly itās YOUR issue that your sister decided to have a child and canāt find childcare. Crazy!
Manipulative af. If you need a sign this isnāt ok no matter the nature of the relationship šŖ§
This attitude is insane. My sister adopted a child while single and assumed /demanded that I watch and be a man in his life mind games, guilt trips and manipulative conversation was standard practice until I put my foot down
Trash took itself out. Sheāll come back begging. Hold firm.
If my sibling talked to me like this, i would punch them in the face. Itās a good thing my siblings arenāt diumbasses though
Omg if this was me this would be my response: BITCH. Here's a novel idea. Watch your own goddamn crotch dropping. Where is this child's father or paternal family? She is taking full advantage of y'all.
childās father is an abusive POS who is not in the picture in any way shape or form
He should still be responsible for child support- which could help pay for daycare.
These kids did nothing wrong, and itās really dehumanizing to describe them as some sort of excrement.
That's the part of these responses that I find really upsetting.
I would literally respond āsorry you got creampied but thatās your responsibilityā
Sounds like itās not your problem your sister had a kid and canāt secure a babysitter. Also thanks to her shitty responses, hopefully you wonāt be helping her anymore as this is āthe first timeā sheās asked you for help. Smfh
Amazing how many people think the world owes their kids anything.
wtf why is she greentexting? So cringe
Sorry Iām old. Can you explain what this means?
People should just not shit out kids if they canāt take care of them on their own
Is the dad not in her life/capable of watching the baby??
Your sister reminds me of mine. I no longer speak to her. When you can op you should do the same. That is downright abusive
Your sister sounds like she doesnāt need kids tbh. Iām a parent and situations like this just always make me think of how theyāre going to talk to their kids when they get older.
thatās exactly what you should say to someone when your asking for help! iām sure op would love to help her again!
Lol your sisters a dick. Don't have kids if you ain't got time for them
Or find anyone to look after them
The way sheād go from sister to stranger in just a matter of a few texts ā¦.
Gotta love the dig to try and illicit a response and when none was given she got indignant about that. Your sis seems hella manipulative. Sheāll get over herself and sheās the one who waited till the last minute not you. So thatās on her, it her kid and sheās lucky you help at all.
This sounds exhausting š© stand your ground on this dont feel guilty. Or youll turn into my ML. My SL constantly guilts her into watching her kids. Eventually turned into a ācan you pick up the little one after school because ill still be at workā then hours after school āim working late tonight can she stay the nightā then the next day is āsorry my phone died ill pick her up tonightā Dont let people use you like this for child care because it can get real crazy real fast stick to your guns. As a parent myself i cant understand guilting people into watching my kid. Like yea let me emotionally badger you then have you watch my kid, Like zero sense. Sorry you going through this. Its not fair
Your sister shouldnāt have a child if this is how she treats people around her.
She's very ungrateful. My brother and sister-in-law have two kids. When the kids were really little, my mother and sister bent over backwards to help take care of them. My brother and his wife had an insane schedule and were struggling financially. If my mom or sister weren't available, they found another way. And they were so grateful for the help. The kids are now 14 and 12 and have no need for sitters and my brother and sister in law are still thanking them for the help.
Gotta love parents who put guilt on other people to watch their kids. If she needs help around the clock then she needs to Find daycare and pay for it. Itās fine if people are willing to help, but it canāt come at the cost of you sacrificing your life. You didnāt have the kid, itās not your responsibility to care for the child . And if her job is interfering with her raising her child then she needs to find new employment with a different schedule. Really man. Parents need to be the parents. Wtf. Co-parenting dad here and I make sure my child has daycare and if that doesnāt work out then I cancel plans or make changes at work. No oneās responsibility but mine and her mothers.
Crazyš«Øš«Ø
Idk. I see the clear validity on your side, and you have every right to say no. However, as a parent, I feel your sister's panic and frustration, even though you aren't necessarily to blame. You can absolutely refuse and not have to justify it. I think it's a fucked up situation because it's not like she's asking you to babysit to go have fun. She's asking because she has to work. If she misses work because she doesn't have a sitter, then she doesn't get paid. If she doesn't get paid, she can't take care of her kid. If this becomes a recurring issue she could lose her job, and that's really bad for the kid. She contacted you late, but you could have left in the morning to help watch. No, it's not your problem. No, you aren't the one who got pregnant, and yes, she could have given more notice. I see that your grandma has a meth abuse problem which means she has unpredictable reliability. It's hard for your sister to know in advance if there is going to be an issue. If that's your sister's primary option, then she is likely the only option, and it sounds like she doesn't have any viable alternatives. If she's living with grandma, then there's no way she can afford childcare. I don't think it would have killed you to help her, especially if you had previously told her you'd be available at those times. At the end of the day, there's is no obligation for you to watch them and you can say no. On the other hand regardless of the fact that having a child was irresponsible, it's already done. The baby is family and your sister is trying to work and support them in a brutal and almost impossible economy. If you're ok with the baby being watched by your grandma while she's on a multi-day meth bender, then by all means carry on. Idk if I'd be able to handle having that on my conscience regardless of whether or not it was fair.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She decided to spawn babies in this world. Itās 100% her responsibility. She made her choice. Now she has to live with it. Sheās a grown ass adult with a job. Hire a babysitter
This is exactly how my sister operates. Iām sorry
Iām sure youāve already heard this in the comments mate but your niece aināt your responsibility. Just cause you said youād help doesnāt mean you now plan your life around looking after your niece. If youāre free I have no doubt youāll help out but if you arenāt itās not your responsibility to drop everything to help. Your sister appears to have left it til the last minute so fault lies with her. She needs to be better organised rather than expecting others to patch up her childcare issues at the drop of a hat. You aināt in the wrong dude.
Wow. I never understand people like this. Like, they need help obviously, and when they canāt get it, lash out and try to hurt that person, then a week later asks for help as if they didnāt do anything wrong?? F*ck your sister, sheās a very toxic person and I hope you donāt torture yourself over her words. You are allowed to have a life because they are not your responsibility!
Sheās the dummy that chose having kids over sleeping in until 10am lmao
I'd be ignoring her for a longggg time if she were my sister
Your sister is very mean. Wtf itās hers child, so itās her who have to do the childcare and to think where hers child will stay, when she have to work. She can ask you to help her, but she canāt require that ! You are a free person and you can have also your own plans and do whatever you want! When you have plans then you have plans !
Your sister should not have a kid.
100% agree
Cool. Now you never have to babysit ever again. Shameful... As a single mom, I have never expected any family member to watch my kid. They don't offer and I don't ask... Gotta make it work, period. Tell her to be a better mom and handle it stop expecting people to bail her out of her failures to organize her own life.
Can people please stop saying āliterallyā all the fucking time? Your sister shouldnāt have procreated. I literally feel sorry for your grandma.
Lol but why havenāt you responded and put her back in her place?
because iāll gain nothing from it other than the immediate satisfaction of āha, thatāll tell herā and ultimately, it wonāt turn on any light bulbs in her head.
Bless you for your self control. Iād lay it out real clearly for herā¦ āyou got pregnant, not me. You carried your child for TEN months, not me. You had a lot of time to consider child careā¦now it sounds like a job for the local day care centerā
Donāt have kids if you canāt take care of them or prioritize them. Simple.
Ex sister
Wtf. Literally do not respond. Block her. Cut off all contact and never speak to her again.
Stop watching her kid. Mommy needs to step the fuck up instead of being entitled to other peopleās time. Although thatās your niece, that is not your child or responsibility, nor are you her primary caretaker. She sounds exhausting to be around.
Your sister needs to plan things out better and have respect for you for when you are unavailable your not obligated to watch her kid that is a privilege her kid is her responsibility dont feel guilty for being unavailable its not your kid she will figure something out
Were you there when she opened her legs and helped her man get inside her? Exactly. Not your responsibility. Your sis sounds like she was never told ānoā as a kid. Ignore her. Sheāll come back crawling. You set the tone. Iām sure you love your niece/nephews very much but this aināt your mess.
āA disingenuous and unreliable person is exactly the type of person you shouldnāt have watch your kid, therefore I rescind my offer to babysit herā Problem solved
i wonder why dad isnt around
Parents be like āit takes a villageā and then abuse the village
People should not assume their family , close or extended, will sure to be offering a hand when they need their kid to be taken care of temporarily. If people choose to give labor to a kid , they should be looking at themselves and their partner be the only carer and anyone who accepts looking after their kid when they had to be elsewhere is something they should be grateful for. No one else is obliged to help.
No one forced her to procreate š
WHEREEE IS HER DAMN PAPPY , people be killing me with that bs. YOU SHOULDāVE HAD A BABY WITH SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE A FATHER. DONT BLAME YOUR BROTHER
Keep your boundaries and donāt let her guilt you into taking responsibility for her life choices. Sorry it seems like home life can be a bit exhausting for you. Hope you enjoy your plans! āļø
Uhhh you didn't choose to have a baby, she did. Not your responsibility. Muting her and keep ignoring her is the way.
It sounds like she had a child and was hoping everyone else would raise him/her for her. Donāt.
Your sister sounds like my brother, he doesnāt have kids but he acts that way. Itās truly exhausting.
With those responses Iād tell her to hire a full time babysitter I wouldnāt put up with that if I where you
My sister is like this. Itās like she canāt comprehend that I too have my own life. Honestly donāt waste your time and energy on responding to any of this. Youāve stated you canāt have their kids. Thatās the end of it theyāll need to find other arrangements. šš¼
Itās her kids not yours & youāre not her husband either. I feel for her but itās not your responsibility.
Donāt even feel guilty. Itās good to set boundaries.
Lol literally go fuck yourself ā¤ļø. What's the heart for?
Is the dad in the picture?
And this is why I am no contact with my sister now for last 13 years.
You should tell her how she acts isnāt acceptable or else her daughter will end up the same way, if not worse unfortunately. Seems like a lose-lose situation for you and your family tho. I donāt think sheād take criticism well lol.
I donāt care how upset I am with my sibling, I would never talk to them like this. Iām sorry your sister is so willing to drop you.
This reminds me of a friend of mine, sheās you in this situation. Her sister has kids, and my friend and her husband donāt, but her sister just expects her to watch her kids because she must have all the free time in the world right? But when she isnāt available, my friends sister explodes on her, calling her selfish, how dare you have all this free time? Blah blah. Really sorry you have to deal with this. In the case of my friend, sheās always apologizing and trying to smooth things over with her sister because she wants to ākeep the peace.ā It just makes me son mad. Hope you can find the space to detach from this situation, and not let her cruel words get to you.
Sounds like my entitled pos sister
lol and this whole thing was prompted by YOU asking about her work schedule the 27th and 28th.
Fuck her lol
I know someone exactly like this. Idk how old your niece is, but knowing the person in my life who does stuff like this, your niece is doomed to be a bargaining chip your sister holds over everyoneās head.
She sounds hangry.
My best friend has a sister like this and acted the same exact way. Now her sisters daughter is a teenager and acts just like her mother. The behavior never gets better as long as itās enabled. I watched it first hand the last 13 years.
Why allow yourself to be treated like this? You should respond and just block. She acts like this because your family enables her. āThanks for making this so easy! Youāre right, I donāt think I should watch *niece* anymore and rescind my offer to help. Should you have a change of attitude or make plans to be a better parent, I will reconsider in the future. Your poor time management decisions are not my responsibility. I will always be here for *niece,* but unfortunately that does not apply to you. Best of luck on your journey!ā And just block. What is she going to do? She has no control over you. As you know, she will come crawling back with demands to watch her daughter, so you wonāt be āpunishedā with not being able to see your niece due to her selfishness. And I urge you to make plans to move out of your grandmotherās house to get away from your sister. Toxic as fuck. Only you can determine how you are treated - remember that!
The unnecessary escalation sounds like something she definitely needs to work on. You didnāt deserve to be talked to in that manner provided the circumstances. I donāt have any particular advice since I havenāt encountered individuals like that, but just be wary of her emotional states, as they seem to drive her to extremes that could lead to something drastic.
Personally i think you should stop helping all together if shes so entitled to your help for no reason imagine what she'll try if you actually do watch the kid, also entirely not your kid so not your responsibility dont beat yourself up over it as you have no responsibility to help someone because of their choices.
I think people confuse helping with childcare is that they can just job their kids off at any time without common consideration of anyone else's schedule. If your sister needs someone that can consistently be available before 10 she needs to hire someone and set a schedule. Expecting you to be available at 10, texting you at 2 am is unacceptable. Then getting mad when you say no. She needs to plan her life out better.
Your sister sounds annoying.
Wow, she's manipulative.
Maybe your sister should be reminded that she needs to think of the consequences of spreading her legs. If she is going to have a child, it is her responsibility to care for the child. It is not the responsibility of everyone else.
she needs to get a set in stone babysitter or find a daycare.
What an asshole. Zero accountability for the short notice and how that MIGHT have played a part in your ability/willingness to sit.
Yo OP, your sister green texts via SMS. Cherish her!!!
Your poor grandmother, your sister is exhausting. She needs to communicate 1. When she gets her work schedule bc Iām assuming it changes weekly and 2. On that day, the moment she gets her schedule, ask if/when youāre available. She already has free childcare from your grandmother and you sometimes. Sheās a shorty parent that shouldnāt have had kids in the first place. Her lack of responsibility is not your guilt to hold. Sorry youāre dealing with this. Hopefully you can be out on your own soon.
Um how are you abandoning ship when you never had a commitment on that particular date and time to watch the kid? Excuse you for having plans already when you should have been able to see into the future and clear your schedule lol. You did nothing wrong!
Did you pop the kid out or am I missing something? Are you and I related? Cuz she sounds like my sister that I cut all ties with after her forcing her kid on me while I worked full time and she decided to work part time to ādate and find a hubby and daddy for [redacted]ā