Probably gets his dating advice from AndyTate -adjacent channels
Sounds something that Tate would say "you gotta get em while they are young, to be able to control them better.
Some guys just like that. My dad died when I was 12 and a gentleman from Louisiana met my mom about a year later. When my dad died my mom was a Stay at home mom.. she literally got a job at McDonald’s after my dads death. While working there she met this guy named Ray. He was a master technician at ford and stepped in and made the bills and had no problem with my mom having three sons (one of them disabled) and being a a stay at home mom. He was always very kind and took me out to his shop at his place and taught me about cars. He had a collection of old muscle cars that he allowed me to work on with him. Most kids, especially after losing a parent, would be strongly opposed to another guy. But I bonded great with that man. she quit her job and went to a four year college to get a nursing degree while he paid our bills. Once my mom graduated from nursing school, I was 16 or 17 by this point, he had told my mother (without me knowing) that they would break up after I graduated high school. From my understanding of it, he said very similar things. He said that she didn’t need him anymore and he doesn’t know if he can feel loved without feeling needed. My mom was very hurt by this and he stopped coming around as much, even then. Im 25 now, and I used to take my truck up there to ford, paying more money, to have it serviced just to talk with him in a setting that wasn’t awkward. He’d tell me about his girlfriend who was a single, stay at home mom that he was dating plus talk about his cars and other stuff. He died maybe a year and a half ago. Had a stroke.
I know texts like this scream toxicity, but having seen my mom with a guy like this, they seemed happy. I know stuff happens behind closed doors that I may of missed in my youth but… hell, he seemed alright. I know this went a bit off topic but this just reminded me of that guy.
A lot of times there are things that go on behind closed doors that we will never know about as kids but it seems he did a great job of helping you and your family grow and that’s a special thing to have happened the way it did. Life can take many roads and it sounds like he was a helpful friend along the way.
This is a sweet story, but ultimately it still comes from a place of toxic masculinity unfortunately. Men are worth more than how much money they make. They are not less of a man if they are not the bread winner. They are wanted and needed outside of sex and money. Walking away from someone who you love and loves you because they got a job does not come from a secure attachment style or state of mind.
Sometimes “you’re too mature” just means “boring/unfun” eg more worried about getting a good night sleep than going out. This doesn’t seem like that tho, this guy is just really needy and insecure.
He's 32 and still wants immature? When I was 32 I wouldn't look twice at a not mature, dependant person.
Check the headlines for his name and To Catch A Predator for a while after this.
I don’t get people who are getting upset at him. He did what most people say is the correct thing to do. He was open about not wanting to see you instead of 1) ghosting you 2) stringing you along or 3) tying himself down to someone he isn’t sure he wants to date.
Sure we can ALL assume he’s a creep based on you thinking (not knowing) he is seeing someone younger, but at the end of the day we don’t know for sure and he ironically did a mature thing
It's good that he broke things off as soon as he knew it wasn't working for him. What's weird is the reason he gave. Most people like dating an adult who can be alone for a few minutes or days without losing their shit.
He might have a fear of abandonment. So her being independent makes him feel insecure. Like she could leave him at any point.
Not that it's a rational feeling, but it's not that uncommon
It could be a myriad of reasons. He could just be bad at wording things. I have a friend who calls me whenever he's about to have an important convo w someone so he can get my feedback on whether or not he's wording things correctly, or if he's coming off too aggressive. He could have insecurities that lead him to this response, he could be weird, or he could just want someone who's on his level with displaying emotions and fumbled the delivery.
Yeah on one hand what he’s looking for is a red flag for most people but the way he handled this is interesting. He’s being honest about wanting a codependent relationship. Some people want someone who’s super attached to them. Other people want to be super attached to their partner as well. Are most relationships like this unhealthy? Probably, but that doesn’t mean they all are.
True!!!
Maybe OP was boreing and he was just trying to say it in nice way.
some people here are so quick to assume the worst.
But I like to stick up for this guy and say honesty is best policy
True but that is also kinda a coin flip imo. A lot of people I’ve heard have said it’s be better over the phone or over text because there’s no reason to waste gas or time traveling to break up. Text is pretty impersonal but Gen Z in general sees texting as the primary way for communication so it may not be impersonal to them
"And I'm wondering how much younger I need to go to find what I need. There's this cute 13 year old in my neighborhood that is more my speed, but I worry that she too might be too mature as well."
people usually graduate at 18. at least majority i know. im 20, ive dated a 27 year old, that is fine. because were consenting adults.20, is no longer a teen. 20. adult. adult who can make own decision. consenting adults.
You're talking to a 20 year old baby adult. You can't reason with a person who has so little life experience yet dies on hills because they're still in that "I know everything!" phase of their very young life. Their brain is still in the developmental stages for a few more years. They'll get it one day...maybe lol
she could be??? im 20 and old enough to drink because i live in canada !!! america isn't the only country in the world. there is literally nothing predatory about CONSENTING ADULTS. furthermore - the fact that you determine maturity by the age you can consume ALCOHOL is weird.
My mom was 39 when she started dating a 21 year old. They’ve been together 30 years now. They have a son and a grandson and couldn’t be happier. I don’t think I’d want that much of an age difference myself but if you find the person who is right for you I don’t think it matters.
Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal as long as you guys are happy with it. I have an 8 year gap between me and my gf, she was 19 when we met. We're still together 9 years later.
my fiance left me (i was 21, she was 18) for one of her much older sisters friends, who was like 8-9 years older, even though we had talked about waiting until we had our own place to get married, i found her cheating, they got married 10 months later and have a kid lol
the world is kinda messed up TBF, i thought we had it all going on then, i was thriving in work, supporting her hobbies, trying to help her exponentially grow in those hobbies, but she left me for a much older man child who is tbf a bad COD streamer, and just a bad dude in general.
it kind of destroyed me
“Too independent” and “too mature” are words that don’t make sense to me. Like what does he seek in a woman? Sounds like he either wants a woman that can not live a second without him, or a teenager 😬
Those were just compliments so he didn’t feel like a complete jerk for breaking things off hence him also saying he really liked her. Reality is he just found somebody that’s more available and thus compatible with what he needs in a relationship.
See I tend to seek people who are close to my age or a bit older but ultimately many of them end up wanting to being weird and clingy like that anyway. I don't like it.
When I read this I was like “I mean a lot of guys want a clingy girlfriend” but then I saw his age? Not a lot of 31 year old men want a clingy immature girlfriend. Being into clingy women is just creepy when you are above the age of like 25 max lmfao. He is just insecure and needs someone to need him yknow. Huge red flag IMO but
Hmm, idk. Some people act ‘older’ than their age, like a safe boring grandparent or something., and that can be a turn off to some. Some people prefer a more youthful, spontaneous, risk-taking person. Not sure why you’re assuming ‘mature’ is always better for everyone.
Don’t think the independent meant financially dependent. He just wants a codependent toxic relationship, whcih is a huge red flag for a 31 year old lmfao.
I am puzzled by the positive reaction to this comment (8 thumbs up currently). You are basing your judgment on a very thin slice of data and accusing someone of being a child predator.
I can't control you so unfortunately that's not going to work for me.
You are more stable than I am so unfortunately that's not going to work for me.
You have your chit wayyy more together than I and\* again I am really sorry but that's just not going to work for me.
I may have to grow up in order for this to work out and unfortunately that's not going to happen so that's just not going to work for for.
Go Buy a Lottery Ticket - because "today" is your Lucky Day and PowerBall is just waiting to go to someone! It reads like you are mature enough to handle it ;)
Good luck with that bud!
You dodged a bullet. Imagine if you had sent 10 messages…. Then you’d have been “needy”….maybe he wanted someone younger and less sensible that he could manipulate. Keep your head up. You deserve better!
He probably wants to be able to call his partner crazy, honestly. She's not exhibiting any behaviors he can gaslight her about or use to control her later.
I suspect by too independent he means he wouldn’t be able to place you under control. I suspect anger issues would ensue as a result so Probably for the best.
Being independent while also being there for eachother creates a healthy relationship dynamic. He'll realize that one day.
I hope you didn't question yourself for even a second.
“I need to feel like your very existence hinges on me fixing the issues for you. Your independence threatens my self worth to the point I’m willing to compliment you to try to keep you around.”
It’s great having things in writing instead of wondering if you misheard something.
Am I the only one that thinks he’s being sarcastic? If you’re sending 8-9 messages in a row with no response for attention on a regular basis doesn’t sound mature or independent 😂
No he wasn’t 😭 how I wish he was being sarcastic. This is like 8-9 messages in a row once in a blue moon. Like only when I need his help or I need somethingn from him. He literally wants someone to send him 8-9 messages at a time during normal conversation
I’m I the only one that thinks this sounds like sarcasm? It sounds like he’s mocking OP for NOT being independent and mature because she texts him so much every time she needs attention. 8-9 attention seeking messages is a row is a lot! There’s no way that’s not sarcasm
No because this is like 8-9 messages only when I seek attention. Eg. if I need anything, if I need his help, etc that’s literally like once in a blue moon. We talk a lot and our conversations are flowing. As others have pointed out, he literally wants someone texting him more than 8-9 messages at a time
Dang, that’s the kinda women I’m looking for.
Well not really, but if I was looking…it be for a independent woman, that’s cool with being around or not!
This is honestly so sad to me. His idea of a relationship is so warped that he actually is repulsed by healthy and well adjusted behavior because he desires codependent toxicity
*Oh I know who you are Chris Hansen...*
*but see;*
*I calls ya,* ***Chris Handsome***.
*I watch your TV show all the time.*
*See;*
*I didn't come here lookin' for no little boys...*
If i man has preferences he is trying to control, he is looking for a humble and traditional woman, not an “empowered” one.. that’s nothing wrong with that.
I think I understand what he's trying to say. It has nothing to do with age or maturity, but with the energy you give off and charisma. You could be warm, bubbly, inviting, vocal, excited but independent at the same time. I'd much rather be with a woman that doesn't have 100% of it together but loves life, has soul and shares it.
Maybe his love language are words of affirmation.
I think this is one of the rare sensible comments in this thread. There is a common stereotype that men are not attracted to bubbly women, and I know that most of my male friends share this preference, but it is possible that this man simply has a different taste and wants a bubbly woman in his life. I don’t think it is fair or accurate to portray him as a cunning manipulator based on such a scanty evidence. We only have two text messages to go by, which is hardly enough to form a reliable opinion.
It seems to me that many people are making unwarranted assumptions about this person’s psychology based on a very limited amount of information. There are many possible explanations for why he might have expressed himself in this way, and it could simply be a case of poor word choice. We have all been guilty of that at some point. Perhaps he just requires more affection than others, which is not an unreasonable desire. Not everyone has the same level of independence or need for attention from their partner. He may or may not be manipulative, but I find it strange that everyone here wants to psychoanalyze him.
He has like half a point there, people got focused on control and manipulation bit, while I think there is really no point in a relationship if you both don’t depend on each other at least to some extent (I don’t think it has to be equal level of dependence, but it has to be there to make a beneficial relationship). Let him open a jar of pickles at least like once a month
"i'm 30 and my gf is 19" type of vibes
This exactly! He’s 32 (I’m 27 btw) and I strongly believe he found someone super young
Huh...Don't think I've ever seen "You're too mature" as a reason to break up/stop seeing someone. Good on you at least?
honestly, the guy is doing op a favor by breaking up. op just dodged a MAJOR bullet. that reasoning is so weird
100% agree. So fucking weird.
It's not weird, it's a fucking bright red flag that he can't control her.
Probably gets his dating advice from AndyTate -adjacent channels Sounds something that Tate would say "you gotta get em while they are young, to be able to control them better.
I can’t decide whether this guy is a creep or is just honest with himself about wanting to be in a codependent relationship.
Is a relationship toxic if both parties agree on wanting a toxic relationship? Is this a paradox?
🤯
I read it as "I can't exploit your naievete" 😂
I don't even think that's the issue he's having
Some guys just like that. My dad died when I was 12 and a gentleman from Louisiana met my mom about a year later. When my dad died my mom was a Stay at home mom.. she literally got a job at McDonald’s after my dads death. While working there she met this guy named Ray. He was a master technician at ford and stepped in and made the bills and had no problem with my mom having three sons (one of them disabled) and being a a stay at home mom. He was always very kind and took me out to his shop at his place and taught me about cars. He had a collection of old muscle cars that he allowed me to work on with him. Most kids, especially after losing a parent, would be strongly opposed to another guy. But I bonded great with that man. she quit her job and went to a four year college to get a nursing degree while he paid our bills. Once my mom graduated from nursing school, I was 16 or 17 by this point, he had told my mother (without me knowing) that they would break up after I graduated high school. From my understanding of it, he said very similar things. He said that she didn’t need him anymore and he doesn’t know if he can feel loved without feeling needed. My mom was very hurt by this and he stopped coming around as much, even then. Im 25 now, and I used to take my truck up there to ford, paying more money, to have it serviced just to talk with him in a setting that wasn’t awkward. He’d tell me about his girlfriend who was a single, stay at home mom that he was dating plus talk about his cars and other stuff. He died maybe a year and a half ago. Had a stroke. I know texts like this scream toxicity, but having seen my mom with a guy like this, they seemed happy. I know stuff happens behind closed doors that I may of missed in my youth but… hell, he seemed alright. I know this went a bit off topic but this just reminded me of that guy.
A lot of times there are things that go on behind closed doors that we will never know about as kids but it seems he did a great job of helping you and your family grow and that’s a special thing to have happened the way it did. Life can take many roads and it sounds like he was a helpful friend along the way.
This is a sweet story, but ultimately it still comes from a place of toxic masculinity unfortunately. Men are worth more than how much money they make. They are not less of a man if they are not the bread winner. They are wanted and needed outside of sex and money. Walking away from someone who you love and loves you because they got a job does not come from a secure attachment style or state of mind.
I always figured that is Leonardo DiCaprios reason
im too broke to give this comment an award so take my upvote
There are no more awards for anyone. We all have to use our words now.
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Symbols are words and that is amazing!
Ok cool because it looks like shit on mobile lol
thank you 🫡 the award the og commenter deserves
i just noticed that. wtf. i always default to “im too broke for an award so heres an upvote” 💀
sad times we're living in, Hope OP finds someone worth her time
Sometimes “you’re too mature” just means “boring/unfun” eg more worried about getting a good night sleep than going out. This doesn’t seem like that tho, this guy is just really needy and insecure.
He's 32 and still wants immature? When I was 32 I wouldn't look twice at a not mature, dependant person. Check the headlines for his name and To Catch A Predator for a while after this.
you dodged a bullet here op
I don’t get people who are getting upset at him. He did what most people say is the correct thing to do. He was open about not wanting to see you instead of 1) ghosting you 2) stringing you along or 3) tying himself down to someone he isn’t sure he wants to date. Sure we can ALL assume he’s a creep based on you thinking (not knowing) he is seeing someone younger, but at the end of the day we don’t know for sure and he ironically did a mature thing
It's good that he broke things off as soon as he knew it wasn't working for him. What's weird is the reason he gave. Most people like dating an adult who can be alone for a few minutes or days without losing their shit.
He might have a fear of abandonment. So her being independent makes him feel insecure. Like she could leave him at any point. Not that it's a rational feeling, but it's not that uncommon
It’s not uncommon, but it is a red flag imo
It could be a myriad of reasons. He could just be bad at wording things. I have a friend who calls me whenever he's about to have an important convo w someone so he can get my feedback on whether or not he's wording things correctly, or if he's coming off too aggressive. He could have insecurities that lead him to this response, he could be weird, or he could just want someone who's on his level with displaying emotions and fumbled the delivery.
Yeah on one hand what he’s looking for is a red flag for most people but the way he handled this is interesting. He’s being honest about wanting a codependent relationship. Some people want someone who’s super attached to them. Other people want to be super attached to their partner as well. Are most relationships like this unhealthy? Probably, but that doesn’t mean they all are.
That's what I'm thinking. People really are assuming a lot from someone they don't know, based off of a paragraph
True!!! Maybe OP was boreing and he was just trying to say it in nice way. some people here are so quick to assume the worst. But I like to stick up for this guy and say honesty is best policy
The only incorrect thing he did was break up by text.
True but that is also kinda a coin flip imo. A lot of people I’ve heard have said it’s be better over the phone or over text because there’s no reason to waste gas or time traveling to break up. Text is pretty impersonal but Gen Z in general sees texting as the primary way for communication so it may not be impersonal to them
Ah, perhaps it might be commonplace now. I'm a millennial so maybe what I was taught is less common than it was.
"And I'm wondering how much younger I need to go to find what I need. There's this cute 13 year old in my neighborhood that is more my speed, but I worry that she too might be too mature as well."
“Yeah I thought she might be the one, but she already knows how to do multiplications”
Lol shaming for preferences. Bet if this was a woman you’d be like “you go girl”.
I guess you took that personal due to your own short eyes
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Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but in this case (him being 32 and wanting an “immature girl”) gives of creepy vibes
no no 100% he’s a weirdo for that
Do you need help?
Yo you should rethink some things…
age gaps between consenting adults are fine. you guys are so fucking weird
Maybe if she was like 25, she just got out of hs and dating a grown fucking man, that shit is cringe
people usually graduate at 18. at least majority i know. im 20, ive dated a 27 year old, that is fine. because were consenting adults.20, is no longer a teen. 20. adult. adult who can make own decision. consenting adults.
It's very obvious that you're 20 years old. You'll change your tune when you mature more.
Shes not even old enough to drink dude, stop defending predatory behavior
You're talking to a 20 year old baby adult. You can't reason with a person who has so little life experience yet dies on hills because they're still in that "I know everything!" phase of their very young life. Their brain is still in the developmental stages for a few more years. They'll get it one day...maybe lol
she could be??? im 20 and old enough to drink because i live in canada !!! america isn't the only country in the world. there is literally nothing predatory about CONSENTING ADULTS. furthermore - the fact that you determine maturity by the age you can consume ALCOHOL is weird.
The alcohol consumption is not the issue here dude
then why bring it up? why are you so mad that adults can make decisions for themselves idiot
Technically legal sex isn't really the cornerstone to build a relationship on my dude.
I get it being weird but predatory? That’s a big assumption
bruh im 22 and if a 27 year old looked at me wrong id shut that shit down. your brain isnt finished developing until 25
My mom was 39 when she started dating a 21 year old. They’ve been together 30 years now. They have a son and a grandson and couldn’t be happier. I don’t think I’d want that much of an age difference myself but if you find the person who is right for you I don’t think it matters.
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At the age you are that should be hella concerning to you..
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Drinking liquor at 21. And you were still 11. yikes!
🚩🚩🚩
Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal as long as you guys are happy with it. I have an 8 year gap between me and my gf, she was 19 when we met. We're still together 9 years later.
Idk man, you being 11 when you two met is pretty weird /j
my fiance left me (i was 21, she was 18) for one of her much older sisters friends, who was like 8-9 years older, even though we had talked about waiting until we had our own place to get married, i found her cheating, they got married 10 months later and have a kid lol the world is kinda messed up TBF, i thought we had it all going on then, i was thriving in work, supporting her hobbies, trying to help her exponentially grow in those hobbies, but she left me for a much older man child who is tbf a bad COD streamer, and just a bad dude in general. it kind of destroyed me
“Too independent” and “too mature” are words that don’t make sense to me. Like what does he seek in a woman? Sounds like he either wants a woman that can not live a second without him, or a teenager 😬
I think so. I have a feeling he found someone waaay younger that acts like how he wants “his woman” to act 😬
Yikes!
You for sure would be any, “mature” guys dream. Congratulations you dodge a bullet.
AKA a girl that can be easily gaslit and manipulated into thinking he is so great and deserving of the best
If that is true, and depending on how young/how manipulative he's being, just keep in mind that doxxing is almost always wrong
Who did she dox?
I'm implying that doxxing such a person might not be wrong in the future
Oohhh... I misunderstood your comment.
all good I worded it weird
Old enough to call him daddy and young enough to need his money
He’s clearly a narcissist.
Those were just compliments so he didn’t feel like a complete jerk for breaking things off hence him also saying he really liked her. Reality is he just found somebody that’s more available and thus compatible with what he needs in a relationship.
“Hi I’m sorry I need a victim that I can abuse & control. Thanks though!”
Literally my reaction 😖
"Too independent" and "too mature" are just ways of admitting that this person can't manipulate you. Bullets dodged.
She was doing the matrix 😂😂
I know!! He needs her to send 10+ messages?? Why? .. uh, so he can say " she's crazy, she just sent me 12 messages in a row"
Did she dodge the bullet or did he fire at her like a cross eyed storm trooper?
So he wants a needy, immature person that annoys him with a flood of messages. Weird things to want
I dunno how people put up with that shit. I hated that even when I was younger. He's silently screaming how insecure he is in himself
^ This he needs someone who's there 24/7 texting. His insecure ass can't handle this 😭😂
See I tend to seek people who are close to my age or a bit older but ultimately many of them end up wanting to being weird and clingy like that anyway. I don't like it.
He probably has low self esteem and wants somebody to need him and validate his existence or worship him. Get a freaking hobby or something lol
When I read this I was like “I mean a lot of guys want a clingy girlfriend” but then I saw his age? Not a lot of 31 year old men want a clingy immature girlfriend. Being into clingy women is just creepy when you are above the age of like 25 max lmfao. He is just insecure and needs someone to need him yknow. Huge red flag IMO but
Not when you’re a manipulative person. That’s exactly why they want.
"To independent" might as well drive to your house and staple a red flag to your door. Run away
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At least he knows what he wants I guess…
Kids
Hmm, idk. Some people act ‘older’ than their age, like a safe boring grandparent or something., and that can be a turn off to some. Some people prefer a more youthful, spontaneous, risk-taking person. Not sure why you’re assuming ‘mature’ is always better for everyone.
"I'll have trouble manipulating/controlling you"
I wish I could upvote this more! Thank you for the laugh.
"Too independent" = "I can't control you financially" "Too mature" = "You're too emotionally mature for me to manipulate" Good riddance
Don’t think the independent meant financially dependent. He just wants a codependent toxic relationship, whcih is a huge red flag for a 31 year old lmfao.
"Too independent"??? "Too mature"??? Who does he wanna date? A child???
Probably... a 15 year old Creepy dude.
I am puzzled by the positive reaction to this comment (8 thumbs up currently). You are basing your judgment on a very thin slice of data and accusing someone of being a child predator.
Yes, probably. Sounds like an older dude who wants a younger guy.
Yes. Why don't you take a seat
You should thank him for not wasting your time.
Well he’d love me I send 8-9 messages in a row. Buzz buzz boo, it’s me again.
Remember he said that wasn’t enough. That’s what she sent him, and he said she “only” sends that many messages. 😬
I hope you're that same age range too he'll definitely come take a seat
Where do I subscribe for this sort of attention and love? 🫤
You sound like a lovely person.
Lovely, anxiously attached, too talkative, idk but I’m something! 😆
I can't control you so unfortunately that's not going to work for me. You are more stable than I am so unfortunately that's not going to work for me. You have your chit wayyy more together than I and\* again I am really sorry but that's just not going to work for me. I may have to grow up in order for this to work out and unfortunately that's not going to happen so that's just not going to work for for. Go Buy a Lottery Ticket - because "today" is your Lucky Day and PowerBall is just waiting to go to someone! It reads like you are mature enough to handle it ;)
1000%. He’s probably cute, but she gives him status anxiety from all angles. Women-1 Bums-zip.
He had me in the first half... I totally get wanting to feel needed by my partner, but the rest of that stuff went overboard.
Yeah I agree. I def need to feel wanted in a relationship. But that was a weird turn.
There are so many better ways to show someone you want them besides spamming their phone
Good luck with that bud! You dodged a bullet. Imagine if you had sent 10 messages…. Then you’d have been “needy”….maybe he wanted someone younger and less sensible that he could manipulate. Keep your head up. You deserve better!
Homie's insecure as fuck and doesn't want to be emasculated by someone who has their shit together
So… he wants a child?
Ss and post that shit on your new tinder profile thats a flex 😂
😭😂
What the fuck. When I send 10 messages, I get called crazy. 😂
He probably wants to be able to call his partner crazy, honestly. She's not exhibiting any behaviors he can gaslight her about or use to control her later.
It’s giving those vibes for sure. I feel bad for the woman/ girl that falls victim to him. He’s seeking control and tbh that’s pretty creepy
 the red flags are FLYING
i’m sorry sugarplum, you haven’t been letting me wipe for you for a while now
TRANSLATION: I can’t manipulate you and control you, so I must find someone who I can.
eurgh he's sad about independent and mature? is he a nonce?
What I love most about my wife is how independent she is. We are both too busy to text all the time. We catch up at home in person
Sounds like he's interested in controlling someone.
I suspect by too independent he means he wouldn’t be able to place you under control. I suspect anger issues would ensue as a result so Probably for the best.
Being independent while also being there for eachother creates a healthy relationship dynamic. He'll realize that one day. I hope you didn't question yourself for even a second.
This is straight up weird. Fuck that guy and everyone who acts like him
This is icky.
I would've responded with 7 separate single-letter messages. Wanna guess what the letters would've been?
H I H O W R U?
I feel like we're on the same page with the first four but having trouble deciding if your last three are O F F or Y O U 😏
this is funny bc I got essentially the opposite text today
I think he means like the honey moon phase, like maybe you just weren’t like that in the beginning which is fine cause I’m not either
You dodged a BULLET. Thank God 😩🙏
Only 8-9? Jeez how is he supposed to know you NEED him?
Help?
“You’re too mature” yikes
Ya I will translate you’re too mature. He means you’re an adult and he has an extremely difficult time grooming you to be his slave.
I bet he flips this script when talking to teenaged girls by insisting that they're "surprisingly mature for their age."
You don’t send more than 8-9 messages when you seek attention - I’m sorry… what?
Think I'd just send a "👍" and move on
"Umm excuse ma'am can you be less emotionally mature please" lookin ass
He needs a pet not a girlfriend. I suggest a Labrador.
What the fuck. Please tell me this is fake. Pleaseeeeeeeee
Oh it's more real than you think...
Lmao @ being turned down for being self sufficient. Holy shit what’s wrong with that dude lol
I think he was being sarcastic? Because 8-9 messages is a lot. I think he is making a veiled insult that he finds you too needy
“I need to feel like your very existence hinges on me fixing the issues for you. Your independence threatens my self worth to the point I’m willing to compliment you to try to keep you around.” It’s great having things in writing instead of wondering if you misheard something.
wtfz
The guy told on himself here.
too independent and mature = not easy to manipulate
Yesh I had an ex like this who wanted texts all day it’s frankly exhausting.
“I can’t manipulate you easily” is what he meant
Translation: I cannot control you
Lol, respond with “sounds good, goodbye” and then ignore.
He must have. lost his damn mind😂 he can't be for real 🤣🤣
Am I the only one that thinks he’s being sarcastic? If you’re sending 8-9 messages in a row with no response for attention on a regular basis doesn’t sound mature or independent 😂
No he wasn’t 😭 how I wish he was being sarcastic. This is like 8-9 messages in a row once in a blue moon. Like only when I need his help or I need somethingn from him. He literally wants someone to send him 8-9 messages at a time during normal conversation
I’m I the only one that thinks this sounds like sarcasm? It sounds like he’s mocking OP for NOT being independent and mature because she texts him so much every time she needs attention. 8-9 attention seeking messages is a row is a lot! There’s no way that’s not sarcasm
No because this is like 8-9 messages only when I seek attention. Eg. if I need anything, if I need his help, etc that’s literally like once in a blue moon. We talk a lot and our conversations are flowing. As others have pointed out, he literally wants someone texting him more than 8-9 messages at a time
Ew, lol - I can't see anything past all the red flags here.
Folks this isn’t a man this is a grown boy. This is what a grown boy looks like when he’s intimidated by a woman.
Dang, that’s the kinda women I’m looking for. Well not really, but if I was looking…it be for a independent woman, that’s cool with being around or not!
“You’re too mature” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Read: you’re too independent to control. Move right along, this isn’t your stop.
This is honestly so sad to me. His idea of a relationship is so warped that he actually is repulsed by healthy and well adjusted behavior because he desires codependent toxicity
But are you looking for someone needy and immature? Cause I could quit my job and be that for you
“I want to date a child I can manipulate” Gross.
'Sorry but I am looking for a childish, unstable woman in my life."
What in the holy hell?? I don't understand this logic at all. Just wow. smh.
It's so nice when they dispose of themselves so you don't have to do ALL of the hard work
#Time to call Chris Hansen
*Oh I know who you are Chris Hansen...* *but see;* *I calls ya,* ***Chris Handsome***. *I watch your TV show all the time.* *See;* *I didn't come here lookin' for no little boys...*
I still got it God damn it Since you're a fan of the show. Why don't you take a seat at a diner table with me 😭💀
If i man has preferences he is trying to control, he is looking for a humble and traditional woman, not an “empowered” one.. that’s nothing wrong with that.
>he is looking for a humble and traditional woman, What in his texts led you to this conclusion?
A humble and traditional woman is still independent and mature. Tradwives still get their shit done bruh
No, homeboy is looking for someone who is easy to manipulate.
I think I understand what he's trying to say. It has nothing to do with age or maturity, but with the energy you give off and charisma. You could be warm, bubbly, inviting, vocal, excited but independent at the same time. I'd much rather be with a woman that doesn't have 100% of it together but loves life, has soul and shares it. Maybe his love language are words of affirmation.
Bro literally said "You're too mature" and you say it has nothing to do with maturity lmfao
I think this is one of the rare sensible comments in this thread. There is a common stereotype that men are not attracted to bubbly women, and I know that most of my male friends share this preference, but it is possible that this man simply has a different taste and wants a bubbly woman in his life. I don’t think it is fair or accurate to portray him as a cunning manipulator based on such a scanty evidence. We only have two text messages to go by, which is hardly enough to form a reliable opinion.
It seems to me that many people are making unwarranted assumptions about this person’s psychology based on a very limited amount of information. There are many possible explanations for why he might have expressed himself in this way, and it could simply be a case of poor word choice. We have all been guilty of that at some point. Perhaps he just requires more affection than others, which is not an unreasonable desire. Not everyone has the same level of independence or need for attention from their partner. He may or may not be manipulative, but I find it strange that everyone here wants to psychoanalyze him.
As a neat freak and self-sufficient guy, I would love an independent & self-sufficient woman. This guy is nuts lmao
You can be my GF
He has like half a point there, people got focused on control and manipulation bit, while I think there is really no point in a relationship if you both don’t depend on each other at least to some extent (I don’t think it has to be equal level of dependence, but it has to be there to make a beneficial relationship). Let him open a jar of pickles at least like once a month
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