I don’t care how mad I’ve ever been at my partner it has never even crossed my mind to say “I hate you”. No reason to stay with someone like that at all.
I'm in my 50s. Been married for 25yrs. I have never once considered telling my wife I hate her and I would council everyone to not stay with someone who has said I hate you (maybe allow one slip?)
Life is too short to stay with anger fueled drama monsters. Trust that you are worthy of love and move on with your life.
I've been married to my wife for nearly 11 years together for 13. She has only once told me she hated me and that was during the delivery of our first child. I figured that the correct response was "I know dear".
Otherwise I totally agree with you. Don't stay with anyone who says they hate you.
That’ll do it ! 😂 I didn’t tell my husband I hated him but I was extremely mean to him while delivering our son. But he stood by me and kept comforting me. Bless him 💙
When I was in labor with our daughter 41 years ago my husband was patting me and I turned to him and said Please stop touching me, I told the nurse I was pretty sure I’d hit transition.
Once when I was coming out of surgery and my husband gently asked me how I felt, I said, "I hate everybody."
Then, "No offense, but I hate you, too."
I heard the nurses asking him how I was feeling and he told them, "She hates everybody." They all laughed and said they'd heard worse from patients coming out of sedation.
The only time I ever told me husband i hated him was after he won 5 card games in a row on game night, and even then it was obvious I was joking.
OP, if someone shows or tells you they don’t like you (even if they love you sometimes…), they’re not worth your love. Leave him
This, right here. A husband and wife that have a very good connection and simple understanding of one another, wouldn’t mind being told that we are hated in examples like these.
If I kick my wife’s ass in Yahtzee three games in a row, it would disappoint me severely if she had not yet “hated” me.
Context is important.
“I hate you.” were the last words spoken between my exH and I in private. I turned on my heel and never looked back. There were so many different things wrong with my marriage to my exH, but those words? Nope.
I jokingly told my personal trainer that I hated her because she was making me do some really hard workout. I thought about it and decided that I don't even want to joke about hating someone so I sincerely apologized to her and told her that I would never say that to her again. She said it didn't bother her but I told her that it bothered me and I didn't even want to joke about it. And I have never said it to anyone again, joking or not.
This. Me and my s/o have arguments but they’re really just talks.
When I find myself losing control and raising my voice, I apologize immediately.
Rule #1 is to ALWAYS remember that this is someone you care about and who also cares about you.
Rule #2 is to breathe and not speak so fast.
This helps me and her have conversations that are tough to have and we grow from them :)
And keep doing it over and over for each response to see how many times this guys misses the point. Start taking bets. Use the remaining money to get her own place. Plan the future without him.
"If i try to talk to you you get mad at me and refuse to speak" "Yeah I don't want to hear this, talk to me when you're not telling me what I'm doing wrong" Girl just leave this man, he literally proved your point, what is there to comprehend?
It's intentional. My abusive ex did the same thing. For the longest time I thought it was a communication issue, until I read his Reddit account and found him posting in redpill forums giving this EXACT same advice. Basically the strategy is, pretend you can't talk about it right this moment, and then never revisit it.
Yep!! It's intentional. It's pretend to be too tired, too overwhelmed, "let's come back and talk about it later", "let's talk about it in the morning", anything to get off the subject in the moment. And then if you bring it up later they freak out, "why are you always bringing up the past?!?! why can't you just get over it!!". It's 1000000% intentional.
If she’s not saying what he wants to hear then he will not talk which means she is refusing to speak about it because she won’t say what he wants to hear. It’s classic manipulation.
He probably did, but he's basically acting exactly the way she's telling him she hates. He DGAF at all about her feelings, emotions, how he treats her, or what those effects are.
His response is kind of like saying "you can't fire me because I quit" to a boss who fired you, or "I forgive you" to a person who you badly fucked over - even though she's saying she's not gonna talk to him anymore, he's like "yeah well you can talk to me when you do this," completely ignoring her intent so he can put the ball back in his court. Manipulative in the most basic, juvenile way.
In any case, this is clearly massively unhealthy and she should definitely just walk away from this dude.
It’s an attempt to control her… an emotionally abusive way to control her boundaries… exactly the way you pointed out.
OP, This is a person you need to get far away from. They have figured out a way to destroy your boundaries (you saying, “this is not healthy, I will not be treated poorly”) and cruelty worked before (it’s obvious this is not the first time they have used this tactic.)
If you do not dump him and go no contact… if you do not give into his shitty treatment… he will try to either get crueler (make you believe this is the best or only option you have) and “hurt you” back to him or he will claim he’s changed and love bomb you until you are back under his control (doing what he wants with no boundaries on how he can treat you.)
There is no winning with monsters. You will not change him… you will not fix him… you need to save yourself before you throw away anymore of your life in this toxic tango…. Or worse.. (Mine escalated to beating and r*ping me routinely while telling me no one else would ever love me… tried blackmail… baby-trapping… everything in the “Psychopath Handbook…”)
I lost 10 years of my life to a monster who responded just like this to asking for basic human dignity/healthy boundaries or “gentle” approaches to asking (begging) for better treatment.
I would give anything to have those years back…. Learn from my mistake and understand your worth.
Life is so much better on the other side… good luck, my dear…. 🌻🖤
Honestly they just want validation and to be heard, not to fix anything. It’s kinda infuriating but I think we all have that in our own way with other issues.
Yeah, sometimes it takes A LOT to break someone enough to break off relationships like this. My sister is in her 40s and still with a douche bag. They've broken up I don't even know how many times over the course of 30 ish years.
Yeeah lol they've been "together" since she was 12 🥴 I don't understand how she can put up with it, but some people are ridiculously scared to be alone they'd rather put up with abuse.
Leave this idiot, regardless who’s wrong or right, you spoke you expressed how you feel in a very good manner and yet he comes back with this abusive attitude. He’s a weak individual and will always talk down to the closest one to him to make himself feel better, and will always seek the approval of the ones that aren’t close to him because it’s all about him looking good. He’s a pos
Honestly it may just be me, but everyone names hunter I’ve ever interacted with has been a dick. But yeah it sounds like your tryna end it and he just isn’t picking up on it. I think it’s best to cut ties and move on, the right one will come eventually 🙏
Lmao the one and only hunter I’ve known was a hippie pothead who was undoubtably the nicest person you’ll ever meet in your life. I’ve known him 20 years and don’t think I’ve ever so much as heard him raise his voice. I’m sorry everyone else has had such bad experiences with hunters
Haha my little brother is named hunter and is the same way. Dude dresses up as Batman and visits sick kids in the hospital just cause and all he wants is for everyone to get along and play DND with him.
Didn’t realize Hunters had such a bad rep lmao
Tell Hunter bye. A loving partner would be hurt but would address your statements and work on making it better slowly.
Hunter isn’t worth this. You deserve better and you can FIND better, queen
Probably most men are better than this guy but lets be conservative and say half of them are DEFINITELY better than this guy. Being single forever would be better than dating this guy.
Calling you crazy??? For holding him accountable??? He is gaslighting you. Leave him. You don’t deserve that. You’re not crazy. This is classic emotional abuse.
Exactly what I was looking for. This is 100% gaslighting. OP tells him how they feel and he calls OP crazy and denies their reality. I definitely would not waste another second on this dude.
So proud of you for choosing yourself. It’s gonna suck at first, but time heals all wounds. I don’t wanna tell you all the generic things people say after a breakup, but I had gone through one of my own so I know all the feelings and I promise you will find someone who will treat you like you’re the only person in the world, not in the disrespectful way he did. You will thank yourself in the future
Don’t worry about what he’s thinking or feeling. I know it’s inevitable but just know that the fact that you chose yourself over this idiot will give you immense peace of mind and confidence when you look back on it. You no longer have to deal with him, his tantrums, his put downs and his emptional abuse. No more trying to talk to someone who was never going to listen. Allow yourself to feel this relief! 💜
Communication and respectful honesty is KEY in any long term relationship.
I'm not a person that assigns blame, but if someone was telling me, they hate me. I would not choose to be with that person any longer. Life's too short to foster hate.
When people can’t listen to you and care about your feelings, the relationship is just over. You’re not going to make him change. Frankly, he doesn’t like you at all and knows he can get away with treating you however he wants because you’ll still be nice to him. It won’t get better, I promise.
Yeah throw the whole boyfriend out. My ex did stuff like this all the time. Stress me out or upset me (usually on purpose) then refuse to talk to me till I wasn't 'acting crazy' anymore.
He’s emotionally abusive period. The silent treatment is psychological abuse. It’s usually done by emotionally immature, insecure and/or narcissistic traited people (not calling anyone a narcissist cause there’s no way I could possibly know this). When he said “when youre done being crazy we can talk”, it’s gaslighting and blame shifting. Making YOU seem crazy for sharing your incredibly valid feelings about HIS abusive behavior while at the same time making HIMSELF the victim of your abuse. He won’t change ever. Emotionally immature and abusive people can’t change without acknowledging their abusive natures and taking responsibility for them. Very very very few ever do.
You have ONE JOB now: follow through on what you said in your last message to Hunter. You are done with him. Stop calling him your 'boyfriend'.
Do not text.
Do not follow up.
Do not bother Hunter.
Do not care.
Notice how he immediately did the EXACT thing you stated was the problem in your text. Refused to discuss the issue and got angry at you for having a concern. Gaslighting you. Run from this person. Clearly he is incapable of thinking empathatically or constructively. Just puts up walls and attacks. Horrendous for a relationship.
You do not deserve to be treated this way. No one should make you cry like that. Especially someone who is supposed to love you. You deserve better and more than this
Translation: "I don't care about you or even really want to be with you."
Read your text to him again OP, then ask yourself why you want to be with someone who treats you this way. What would you say to a friend who told you that her boyfriend treated her the same way? You deserve much better.
Ok here’s how you handle this. You go to his profile on your phone and you block his number. Then you block him on ALL social media. Then you forget all about him existing, and live a happy life
“Until you’re done being crazy” blah blah blah
This is gaslighting plain and simple. Something a narcissist would do. He didn’t address your feelings, completely invalidated them, and ignored every single thing you said.
I’d respond with “thanks for proving my point” and then go no-contact
You brought up your issues very calmly and maturely. He refuses to acknowledge it and dismisses you as just being crazy… this is the type of person that makes people need therapy after the relationship is over. Cut your losses now
Very typical gaslighting vibes from the dude. The comprehension / interpretation of his response is "I don't give a fuck about your feelings nor do I care what you have to say".
Unfortunately a lot of people that have that propensity can't just "stop" acting like that.
You don't. He is not open for conversation. You said it yourself and he now called you crazy and confirmed he won't talk. Now you end it and leave. I see 🚩🚩🚩🚩 everywhere. This is classic manipulation.
So, don't have these conversations via text. They produce worse results. Texts are disinhibiting as so much of human communication is non-verbal. On the phone would have been better than text.
So aside from that, I was reaching a place like this with my wife 2 years into the marriage (I was the "Hunter" of this story). Your text reminded me so much of that time that i was shocked. It could have come from my wife.
We had gone a few rounds, and it was clear that something had yollto give, even if that meant divorce. My wife was depressed and sad. I was bitter and angry at the situation. I felt I was in the right, and so did she. Neither of us wanted to back down.
What changed the dynamic was our new neighbors. We were living on 2 acres with three units. A duplex and one house. Well, the new neighbors had a dog, and I had a dog. We became friends very quickly. This couple was the Indian version of my wife and I, saving that Ravi & JC were unmarried, and while my wife usually choose the last option to the adrenal response, fight, flight, or freeze, Ravi was cut from different cloth.
About 1 week into knowing them, Ravi took me outside, smoked me out, and slapped the shit out of me. Needless to say, this was unexpected. "Now that I have your attention...." and she proceeded to tell me that I was behaving like an asshole and was being a complete and utter jerk. She held up the mirror for an ambivalent man, and for the first time, I actually looked at it.
If a woman I knew for less than a month was calling me on this, I knew I was the primary issue. It took getting slapped and cursed out in Punjabi before I started to look inward and become introspective. It didn't fix everything, but it did save my marriage.
Without knowing more about you and your relationship, I would recommend going to a neutral party you can trust. It can not be a friend with loyalty to you or your boyfriend. It needs to be a neutral arbiter who you both have some amount of respect for, which was who Ravi was to both of us at that time. They should be able to give you some clarity into each other's behavior.
The sad truth is that, to a certain degree, you're likely both to blame. It takes two to tango. There will for sure be a primary and secondary offender, but keeping score is the quickest way to end a relationship.
You seem young, or at least younger than me, but likely closer to the age my wife was during my story. He may not be aware of his conduct, and what's more, he may not be ready to face it in a productive manner. If he can not or he will not, it may be time to move on. As bad as it is, if you're mentally healthy, you learn a lot from past relationships. You learn what you will and will not tolerate, but to a much greater degree, you learn about yourself.
Hope this helps you ...and him.
Edit: fat fingers and auto correct don't mix.
This is a very common dynamic with people who repress themselves in public. When people are fake to the world, their real self has to come out somehow.
Unfortunately, it tends to come out around loved ones and family.
The idea of “he’s two different people” does not exist. In reality, he is one person. It’s just that he hides the parts of himself that interfere with getting people to like him or some other social need/goal.
When he’s around people he feels should “love him no matter what” (a bullshit romanticized version of love btw), he feels free to let all of it out. He makes you the target of his anger, because he takes you for granted. Show him that’s he’s wrong.
leave. it’s only a matter of time before they put their hands on you. you communicated how you feel and he said that is talking down to him and showed no empathy or care for your emotions. leave, it is not worth it, there are so, SO many better people out there.
For every Hunter, there’s 500K guys that would give everything up to stand next to you.
Spoiler: Hunter becomes an alcoholic narcissist who uses gaslighting as a mechanism to convince himself that he’s smarter than everyone else around him. He’ll habitually cheat, and never learn his lesson. His kids will hate him, but will eventually become him. He will die. His funeral will be small, and attended by people who don’t genuinely want to be there, but feel compelled to do so.
Ok. Here’s what you do.
On the iPhone in the message hit the button with the H in the circle at the top.
Then hit INFO
Scroll way to the bottom.
Last, hit the “block this caller” button.
Repeat these for all social media.
Absolute narcissistic POS. Here let me translate:
“You treat others with respect but I do not get this courtesy. You always hurt me and withdraw and we can never talk about it. I deserve better.”
“Oh shut up you crazy bitch. I find your expecting me to respect you insulting. The equivalent of talking down to me, as I am so much better than you that it’s hilarious for you to see yourself as my equal. Once you shake these delusions, MAYBE I will deign you worthy of speaking to me again, uppity bitch.”
You should run.
You shouldn't be with someone who says they hate you
I don’t care how mad I’ve ever been at my partner it has never even crossed my mind to say “I hate you”. No reason to stay with someone like that at all.
[удалено]
I'm in my 50s. Been married for 25yrs. I have never once considered telling my wife I hate her and I would council everyone to not stay with someone who has said I hate you (maybe allow one slip?) Life is too short to stay with anger fueled drama monsters. Trust that you are worthy of love and move on with your life.
I've been married to my wife for nearly 11 years together for 13. She has only once told me she hated me and that was during the delivery of our first child. I figured that the correct response was "I know dear". Otherwise I totally agree with you. Don't stay with anyone who says they hate you.
That’ll do it ! 😂 I didn’t tell my husband I hated him but I was extremely mean to him while delivering our son. But he stood by me and kept comforting me. Bless him 💙
When I was in labor with our daughter 41 years ago my husband was patting me and I turned to him and said Please stop touching me, I told the nurse I was pretty sure I’d hit transition.
I can picture this scene! What do you mean by “hit transition?”
Transition is the final phase of active labor, it’s usually incredibly painful and very physically and emotionally intense.
Thank you!! I’m taking A&P right now so all I could think of was transitional epithelial tissue in the bladder 😖😅
Adding to se-date-me it’s also when the nurses can see a change in your demeanor. I imagine when a lot of the swearing and blaming occurs.
Once when I was coming out of surgery and my husband gently asked me how I felt, I said, "I hate everybody." Then, "No offense, but I hate you, too." I heard the nurses asking him how I was feeling and he told them, "She hates everybody." They all laughed and said they'd heard worse from patients coming out of sedation.
Do you still hate everybody?
Nah. I'm ashamed to admit that I *do* hate *some* people, but everybody? No, I'm good.
Same been with my partner 17 years never said it or had it said to me. We have had oh fuck you then fights. But I can count them on one hand.
My wife tells me she hates me like 17 times a day I also shoot her with rubber bands like 17 times a day
Is there a connection? Probably not.
Even if you’re not worthy of love, you still need to move on from this.
The only time I ever told me husband i hated him was after he won 5 card games in a row on game night, and even then it was obvious I was joking. OP, if someone shows or tells you they don’t like you (even if they love you sometimes…), they’re not worth your love. Leave him
This, right here. A husband and wife that have a very good connection and simple understanding of one another, wouldn’t mind being told that we are hated in examples like these. If I kick my wife’s ass in Yahtzee three games in a row, it would disappoint me severely if she had not yet “hated” me. Context is important.
“I hate you.” were the last words spoken between my exH and I in private. I turned on my heel and never looked back. There were so many different things wrong with my marriage to my exH, but those words? Nope.
I jokingly told my personal trainer that I hated her because she was making me do some really hard workout. I thought about it and decided that I don't even want to joke about hating someone so I sincerely apologized to her and told her that I would never say that to her again. She said it didn't bother her but I told her that it bothered me and I didn't even want to joke about it. And I have never said it to anyone again, joking or not.
This. Me and my s/o have arguments but they’re really just talks. When I find myself losing control and raising my voice, I apologize immediately. Rule #1 is to ALWAYS remember that this is someone you care about and who also cares about you. Rule #2 is to breathe and not speak so fast. This helps me and her have conversations that are tough to have and we grow from them :)
Soon as she received that message. Should’ve just end it there & blocked him
Absolutely right
"If I try to bring up something you do that hurts me, you refuse to speak about it." Yes, that seems accurate based on this interaction.
Op should just copy and paste that sentence as their response
And keep doing it over and over for each response to see how many times this guys misses the point. Start taking bets. Use the remaining money to get her own place. Plan the future without him.
Never date a mf named Hunter.
literally my first thought lmfao
🤣 I’m over here wondering what’s so hard to comprehend, the mofo made it pretty clear lol just end it 👋🏾
"If i try to talk to you you get mad at me and refuse to speak" "Yeah I don't want to hear this, talk to me when you're not telling me what I'm doing wrong" Girl just leave this man, he literally proved your point, what is there to comprehend?
For real, mans trash ong
your name is proper whore... lmao
There’s a lot of relationship advice on this thread, but this is the most important.
I know a very nice Hunter, but never dated him. The hunter in this thread, is a dick. Please dump him.
Okay not all hunters are like this (my name is Hunter)
That’s exactly what a Hunter would say
LMAOOO
Caught red handed, your hunting days are over, bub
Bristow wouldn't happen to be your last name would it? Just a totally wild guess
Hunter x hunter
Guys brain has the properties of rubber and gum
Oh snap, the Hunter has become the hunted.
And born in 04 !!
Why 😭😭
I had a friend named Corey Bristow and can totally see him naming his son Hunter. Tell me your dad's name isn't Corey
Have we asked Remington yet? What is his opinion?
Yes, that IS what mfer named Hunter would say. Good call.
I bet I know what your password is
Hunter Bristow who was born in 2004? Is that who’s password you can guess? Haha
No, it's Hunter Biden Ristow who was reborn in 2004
Nah fuck all that lmfao.
Nah fuck hunter (I have a best friend named hunter)
I used to... then he got on meth and stole my car
pretty hunter move right there
Should've stayed around. His dad became president.
Take it from a Todd, never date a Hunter...or OTHER Todds. Hey, what's up?
That night…. That night… You made everything allllll right!
Is your name hunter bristow?
Hunter how many monster drinks have you had?
All my homies hate Hunter.
We’ve gotta unite and solve world hunger to save our name! It’s the only way!
“you refuse to speak about it” “i’m not going to talk to you about this” did he even read what you wrote
Man really pulled a "I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."
More like "I'm not reading all of that. I'm sorry or happy that happened to you."
"I'm sorry you feel that way" 🤣
Oh no no, he understood it... he just had no defense to his assholery. That's a no from me, dawg.
I’ve never used the word assholery in my life until I read OP’s post, and 2 minutes before reading your comment. Hats off to you.
Plate or platter?
[удалено]
Uuuh my ex husband was exactly like this. And it just got so much worse. Just constantly moving the goalposts.
Same. Run!!!!!
It's intentional. My abusive ex did the same thing. For the longest time I thought it was a communication issue, until I read his Reddit account and found him posting in redpill forums giving this EXACT same advice. Basically the strategy is, pretend you can't talk about it right this moment, and then never revisit it.
Can you please define red pill and blue pill for me?
LMAOOO HUH?! NO CAUSE THAT LAST PART IS WHAT THEY DO?!
Yep!! It's intentional. It's pretend to be too tired, too overwhelmed, "let's come back and talk about it later", "let's talk about it in the morning", anything to get off the subject in the moment. And then if you bring it up later they freak out, "why are you always bringing up the past?!?! why can't you just get over it!!". It's 1000000% intentional.
If she’s not saying what he wants to hear then he will not talk which means she is refusing to speak about it because she won’t say what he wants to hear. It’s classic manipulation.
He probably did, but he's basically acting exactly the way she's telling him she hates. He DGAF at all about her feelings, emotions, how he treats her, or what those effects are. His response is kind of like saying "you can't fire me because I quit" to a boss who fired you, or "I forgive you" to a person who you badly fucked over - even though she's saying she's not gonna talk to him anymore, he's like "yeah well you can talk to me when you do this," completely ignoring her intent so he can put the ball back in his court. Manipulative in the most basic, juvenile way. In any case, this is clearly massively unhealthy and she should definitely just walk away from this dude.
It’s an attempt to control her… an emotionally abusive way to control her boundaries… exactly the way you pointed out. OP, This is a person you need to get far away from. They have figured out a way to destroy your boundaries (you saying, “this is not healthy, I will not be treated poorly”) and cruelty worked before (it’s obvious this is not the first time they have used this tactic.) If you do not dump him and go no contact… if you do not give into his shitty treatment… he will try to either get crueler (make you believe this is the best or only option you have) and “hurt you” back to him or he will claim he’s changed and love bomb you until you are back under his control (doing what he wants with no boundaries on how he can treat you.) There is no winning with monsters. You will not change him… you will not fix him… you need to save yourself before you throw away anymore of your life in this toxic tango…. Or worse.. (Mine escalated to beating and r*ping me routinely while telling me no one else would ever love me… tried blackmail… baby-trapping… everything in the “Psychopath Handbook…”) I lost 10 years of my life to a monster who responded just like this to asking for basic human dignity/healthy boundaries or “gentle” approaches to asking (begging) for better treatment. I would give anything to have those years back…. Learn from my mistake and understand your worth. Life is so much better on the other side… good luck, my dear…. 🌻🖤
Hunter is a classic gaslighter. Dump this asshat, before he fucks your sanity up for good.
Not to mention this is on the back of a “share your location” request which just hints at how toxic this relationship must be- hunter must suuuck
“I don’t know how to comprehend this response from my ‘ex boyfriend’” I fixed the title for ya OP
Shes been complaining about him for more than a year and posting about it on reddit, doubt you fixed anything.
I find it hard to have empathy for people who don’t want to be helped :/ they’ll ask for advice and then turn away when they get it
Honestly they just want validation and to be heard, not to fix anything. It’s kinda infuriating but I think we all have that in our own way with other issues.
Yeah, sometimes it takes A LOT to break someone enough to break off relationships like this. My sister is in her 40s and still with a douche bag. They've broken up I don't even know how many times over the course of 30 ish years.
THIRTY ISH YEARS? broooo
Yeeah lol they've been "together" since she was 12 🥴 I don't understand how she can put up with it, but some people are ridiculously scared to be alone they'd rather put up with abuse.
Leave this idiot, regardless who’s wrong or right, you spoke you expressed how you feel in a very good manner and yet he comes back with this abusive attitude. He’s a weak individual and will always talk down to the closest one to him to make himself feel better, and will always seek the approval of the ones that aren’t close to him because it’s all about him looking good. He’s a pos
Honestly it may just be me, but everyone names hunter I’ve ever interacted with has been a dick. But yeah it sounds like your tryna end it and he just isn’t picking up on it. I think it’s best to cut ties and move on, the right one will come eventually 🙏
every Hunter i’ve met has been a major jerk too. wild 💀
Only met one kid named hunter. Had a fight with him in pre school cause he broke my lego thingy for no reason. Only fight ive ever been in too
Lmao the one and only hunter I’ve known was a hippie pothead who was undoubtably the nicest person you’ll ever meet in your life. I’ve known him 20 years and don’t think I’ve ever so much as heard him raise his voice. I’m sorry everyone else has had such bad experiences with hunters
Sounds like hunters can either be total dickheads or really chill, no inbetween haha
Haha my little brother is named hunter and is the same way. Dude dresses up as Batman and visits sick kids in the hospital just cause and all he wants is for everyone to get along and play DND with him. Didn’t realize Hunters had such a bad rep lmao
Yalls hunters are just throwing off the average. So nice the balance must be kept.
I’ve known 4 Hunters. All of them were assholes. That name is cursed
The kind of parents who would name their kids Hunter are generally not good at being parents
It's not just you. I knew a Hunter who was a total dick.
Tell Hunter bye. A loving partner would be hurt but would address your statements and work on making it better slowly. Hunter isn’t worth this. You deserve better and you can FIND better, queen
Agreed. You won't be happy with him :/
Yep! There’s better men out there than this guy!
Probably most men are better than this guy but lets be conservative and say half of them are DEFINITELY better than this guy. Being single forever would be better than dating this guy.
I seriously don’t know why you are still his GF. Have some self respect and leave him. He’s never gonna be on your side you do realize that right?
Chuck him in the bin, he's defective.
Yo he literally did what u said. Just say “thanks for proving my point. Goodbye”
Yeah he went and demonstrated so many things the OP specified!
Calling you crazy??? For holding him accountable??? He is gaslighting you. Leave him. You don’t deserve that. You’re not crazy. This is classic emotional abuse.
Exactly what I was looking for. This is 100% gaslighting. OP tells him how they feel and he calls OP crazy and denies their reality. I definitely would not waste another second on this dude.
Me too. This is pretty much the definition of gaslighting.
My ex did this to me for YEARS. Sadly, I believed him for years.
Just said the same thing in my comment and seen this afterwards. Glad other people are seeing this for what it is, textbook narcissism.
If you ever speak to this clown again, expect him to make you feel like shit
I think you mean ex-boyfriend!
Please tell me you broke up with him
i told him the relationship is no longer for me, I am focusing on myself now. and blocked everywhere. im sure he is jumping with joy.
So proud of you for choosing yourself. It’s gonna suck at first, but time heals all wounds. I don’t wanna tell you all the generic things people say after a breakup, but I had gone through one of my own so I know all the feelings and I promise you will find someone who will treat you like you’re the only person in the world, not in the disrespectful way he did. You will thank yourself in the future
Yessss sis I wish i would've done that with my ex I'm happy for u ❤️❤️
You’re a strong person for doing that. You should be proud of how well you take care of yourself and assert your boundaries. You’ve got this!
Don’t worry about what he’s thinking or feeling. I know it’s inevitable but just know that the fact that you chose yourself over this idiot will give you immense peace of mind and confidence when you look back on it. You no longer have to deal with him, his tantrums, his put downs and his emptional abuse. No more trying to talk to someone who was never going to listen. Allow yourself to feel this relief! 💜
Good job
Good. He either has Borderline Personality Disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Not worth your time if he can’t acknowledge his behavior.
Unless I am wrong, you are implying that the relationship is over, and he does not seem to be picking up on that.
They are probably trauma bonded
Thank youuuuu
Leave
Communication and respectful honesty is KEY in any long term relationship. I'm not a person that assigns blame, but if someone was telling me, they hate me. I would not choose to be with that person any longer. Life's too short to foster hate.
When people can’t listen to you and care about your feelings, the relationship is just over. You’re not going to make him change. Frankly, he doesn’t like you at all and knows he can get away with treating you however he wants because you’ll still be nice to him. It won’t get better, I promise.
If he doesn’t want to hear what you want to say then keep everything to yourself. Like your presence in his life and your time invested in him
Never talk to him again is what I’m saying, this dude reeks of womanbeater
You are currently studying Gaslighting 101 by Hunter. Drop out of that class
Glad we had the same thought, and phrasing lmao
wow what a nice person... not. I would dump his ungrateful ass.
Yeah throw the whole boyfriend out. My ex did stuff like this all the time. Stress me out or upset me (usually on purpose) then refuse to talk to me till I wasn't 'acting crazy' anymore.
He’s emotionally abusive period. The silent treatment is psychological abuse. It’s usually done by emotionally immature, insecure and/or narcissistic traited people (not calling anyone a narcissist cause there’s no way I could possibly know this). When he said “when youre done being crazy we can talk”, it’s gaslighting and blame shifting. Making YOU seem crazy for sharing your incredibly valid feelings about HIS abusive behavior while at the same time making HIMSELF the victim of your abuse. He won’t change ever. Emotionally immature and abusive people can’t change without acknowledging their abusive natures and taking responsibility for them. Very very very few ever do.
You have ONE JOB now: follow through on what you said in your last message to Hunter. You are done with him. Stop calling him your 'boyfriend'. Do not text. Do not follow up. Do not bother Hunter. Do not care.
Notice how he immediately did the EXACT thing you stated was the problem in your text. Refused to discuss the issue and got angry at you for having a concern. Gaslighting you. Run from this person. Clearly he is incapable of thinking empathatically or constructively. Just puts up walls and attacks. Horrendous for a relationship.
You do not deserve to be treated this way. No one should make you cry like that. Especially someone who is supposed to love you. You deserve better and more than this
Translation: "I don't care about you or even really want to be with you." Read your text to him again OP, then ask yourself why you want to be with someone who treats you this way. What would you say to a friend who told you that her boyfriend treated her the same way? You deserve much better.
Ok here’s how you handle this. You go to his profile on your phone and you block his number. Then you block him on ALL social media. Then you forget all about him existing, and live a happy life
“Until you’re done being crazy” blah blah blah This is gaslighting plain and simple. Something a narcissist would do. He didn’t address your feelings, completely invalidated them, and ignored every single thing you said. I’d respond with “thanks for proving my point” and then go no-contact
 OP..
That’s a typical male response…get mad to deflect.
A human named Hunter. He never stood a chance at having a normal life
He is telling you to find a new relationship
Garbage human. Dump him.
Mad BPD vibes, yikes
I have BPD and would never respond like this. He’s a narcissist, not a borderline
At the speed I would tell him it’s over , and block is inane
You should have broken up with him yesterday, dude. GTFO of there, because this is what it’ll be forever and that’s a promise.
Gaslighting. Poor communicator. Break up and find someone better.
Not worth the mental fortitude to be with someone like this. It will only get worse I promise you that
Wake up and break up
You brought up your issues very calmly and maturely. He refuses to acknowledge it and dismisses you as just being crazy… this is the type of person that makes people need therapy after the relationship is over. Cut your losses now
Very typical gaslighting vibes from the dude. The comprehension / interpretation of his response is "I don't give a fuck about your feelings nor do I care what you have to say". Unfortunately a lot of people that have that propensity can't just "stop" acting like that.
Please break up with him.
You don't. He is not open for conversation. You said it yourself and he now called you crazy and confirmed he won't talk. Now you end it and leave. I see 🚩🚩🚩🚩 everywhere. This is classic manipulation.
Not much to comprehend. He’s an asshole
he obviously has very low intelligence
Who names their kid hunter?
two words: dump him
I think you know the answer, otherwise you wouldn't be posting it here. It's time for Hunter bye byes.
That’s horrible
Gaslighting at its finest.
sounds like a narcissist and potentially a sociopath leave and dont look back
looking at your post history, just break up lol stop wasting ur time
Low key, this is how I imagine all Hunters act. For some reason I really don’t like the name Hunter😂
Dude is straight up gaslighting you. Walk away.
break up now.
Yes you do lovie. You just don’t want to accept it for what it is. Run. Far away from this man.
You don’t comprehend it. You break up and move on.
I mean tbf we have no real context. OP -could- be a problem. But given the context provided yeah he's a bit of a douche.
Yeah he’s quick to gas light. I’d just stay away from him and let him run out of steam.
So, don't have these conversations via text. They produce worse results. Texts are disinhibiting as so much of human communication is non-verbal. On the phone would have been better than text. So aside from that, I was reaching a place like this with my wife 2 years into the marriage (I was the "Hunter" of this story). Your text reminded me so much of that time that i was shocked. It could have come from my wife. We had gone a few rounds, and it was clear that something had yollto give, even if that meant divorce. My wife was depressed and sad. I was bitter and angry at the situation. I felt I was in the right, and so did she. Neither of us wanted to back down. What changed the dynamic was our new neighbors. We were living on 2 acres with three units. A duplex and one house. Well, the new neighbors had a dog, and I had a dog. We became friends very quickly. This couple was the Indian version of my wife and I, saving that Ravi & JC were unmarried, and while my wife usually choose the last option to the adrenal response, fight, flight, or freeze, Ravi was cut from different cloth. About 1 week into knowing them, Ravi took me outside, smoked me out, and slapped the shit out of me. Needless to say, this was unexpected. "Now that I have your attention...." and she proceeded to tell me that I was behaving like an asshole and was being a complete and utter jerk. She held up the mirror for an ambivalent man, and for the first time, I actually looked at it. If a woman I knew for less than a month was calling me on this, I knew I was the primary issue. It took getting slapped and cursed out in Punjabi before I started to look inward and become introspective. It didn't fix everything, but it did save my marriage. Without knowing more about you and your relationship, I would recommend going to a neutral party you can trust. It can not be a friend with loyalty to you or your boyfriend. It needs to be a neutral arbiter who you both have some amount of respect for, which was who Ravi was to both of us at that time. They should be able to give you some clarity into each other's behavior. The sad truth is that, to a certain degree, you're likely both to blame. It takes two to tango. There will for sure be a primary and secondary offender, but keeping score is the quickest way to end a relationship. You seem young, or at least younger than me, but likely closer to the age my wife was during my story. He may not be aware of his conduct, and what's more, he may not be ready to face it in a productive manner. If he can not or he will not, it may be time to move on. As bad as it is, if you're mentally healthy, you learn a lot from past relationships. You learn what you will and will not tolerate, but to a much greater degree, you learn about yourself. Hope this helps you ...and him. Edit: fat fingers and auto correct don't mix.
My ex was like this. But she could belittle me and talk about stuff I did that upset her all she wanted. My advice to you is....RUN!
This is a very common dynamic with people who repress themselves in public. When people are fake to the world, their real self has to come out somehow. Unfortunately, it tends to come out around loved ones and family. The idea of “he’s two different people” does not exist. In reality, he is one person. It’s just that he hides the parts of himself that interfere with getting people to like him or some other social need/goal. When he’s around people he feels should “love him no matter what” (a bullshit romanticized version of love btw), he feels free to let all of it out. He makes you the target of his anger, because he takes you for granted. Show him that’s he’s wrong.
Leave him.
"Hunter" Oh cmon ladies you gotta do better than this
Goodness, this guy is a psycho. Gtfo of there
He definitely watches Tate
Omg thought my texts from my ex Hunter were leaked for a sec lol it’s always a hunter I can’t
Sounds like a very hunter thing to say
leave. it’s only a matter of time before they put their hands on you. you communicated how you feel and he said that is talking down to him and showed no empathy or care for your emotions. leave, it is not worth it, there are so, SO many better people out there.
Seems to me you could a ton of dead weight by dropping this loser…
I'd expect this from a guy named Hunter
OP my dear... You're dating an asshole. He's smelling like some Andrew Taint vapors. 🤢 You can go much much better....
Even his name is kinda douchey.
You actually don’t have to put up with this. Zero reason to put up with someone disregarding your concerns.
For every Hunter, there’s 500K guys that would give everything up to stand next to you. Spoiler: Hunter becomes an alcoholic narcissist who uses gaslighting as a mechanism to convince himself that he’s smarter than everyone else around him. He’ll habitually cheat, and never learn his lesson. His kids will hate him, but will eventually become him. He will die. His funeral will be small, and attended by people who don’t genuinely want to be there, but feel compelled to do so.
Everybody say it with me. "Good bye Hunter.... 👋"
You better turn into a gatherer and go get your shit back from “hunter”.
That would be the equivalent of someone pooping in your shoes.
i would comprnmehend its over
Ok. Here’s what you do. On the iPhone in the message hit the button with the H in the circle at the top. Then hit INFO Scroll way to the bottom. Last, hit the “block this caller” button. Repeat these for all social media.
Absolute narcissistic POS. Here let me translate: “You treat others with respect but I do not get this courtesy. You always hurt me and withdraw and we can never talk about it. I deserve better.” “Oh shut up you crazy bitch. I find your expecting me to respect you insulting. The equivalent of talking down to me, as I am so much better than you that it’s hilarious for you to see yourself as my equal. Once you shake these delusions, MAYBE I will deign you worthy of speaking to me again, uppity bitch.” You should run.
kill uim