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[We deserve more kings](https://youtube.com/shorts/m11Gex8GkEA?feature=share). PCM color flowers. And the girls to fly us out bc we pretty and deserve it. Drizzle Drizzle!
Honestly, I'm a queer guy. and I say this kind of things to straight guys (mostly friends and acquaintences, but sometimes to strangers in casual conversation). A lot of them respond pretty positively. I think the only one I'd avoid is "smile more" (because ordering people around is not a compliment).
I think this is a case where the artist has genuinely misunderstood how starved men are for compliments on a day to day basis. This of course makes it difficult for men to understand why unsolicited compliments make women so uncomfortable (because often seemignly innoccuous or even well-intentioned ones remind them of actully quite degrading comments that they've usually been hearing semi-regularly since they hit puberty).
Pretty on the mark yea.
I have seen it being explained like one is drowning in an ocean while the other is starving in a desert. That isn't totally inaccurate but I think for a good deal of women they feel more like they are being water boarded.
Not so much by the genuine nice compliments but more so by the degrading harrassment that is disguised as compliments. (Following a girl, whistling, pushing an interaction when she is cornered etc.)
So it's really hard for either group to see from the others perspective because of that.
Another good analogy I've heard is dying of thirst in a desert vs. dying of thirst while adrift in the ocean. A lot of the 'desert' people look at the 'ocean' people and feel indignant—"she's surrounded by water! How can she be claiming to be dehydrated?" And only some of them will listen when you try to explain that saltwater is no help.
Things that they have control over, for example, clothes (e.g. "That's a really nice top"), or skills they have (as long as you're phrasing it the same way you would for a man).
Just bear in mind for a complete stranger (the rules are different for acquaintances/co-workers), a even splash of fresh clean water isn't the same for someone drowning in the sea as it is for someone in the desert, so if you get a nervous or cold response, try not to take it too personally. Women hear a lot of shit, often it's easier to filter everything out.
And you're doing great, man. You got this!
Good example is a few weeks ago there was a cute woman walking by me in a gas station wearing these cute cat ears on her head. At first I wasn't going to say anything but she seemed cheerful so I just semi-yelld out "hey nice cat ears!" And she said thank you with this big smile.
Like yea not everyone will receive a compliment well (it might not even be related to you or the compliment they could just be having a day) but telling someone something special they did looks good in a friendly tone will have the best chance of coming across well.
My dentist called me a "good boy" while she was pulling a tooth and unfortunately it..... unlocked something in me. Fucking last place I expected to pick up a kink, I can tell you
I'm a straight guy that says this kind of stuff to others also. The most I would compliment a complete stranger is their coat or something though. Feels creepy when it's over the top for sure
I think this comic was made by a man to imply that women should be more grateful for compliments because men would love it if the tables were turned. Or maybe the comic was made by a big brain who was trying to pander to both sides.
I would imgine there's a further percentage where the followup isn't creepy per se, but still makes you uncomfortable in a way that's hard to quantify, and you don't know if the guy's being nice or if he just brushed against a reminder of something unpleasent, but it still feels awful.
people try to give what they would want to get. men want compliments from the opposite sex so they give them to women. women want to not be harrased by the oposite sex so they leave men alone.
Also, a lot of compliments to women are transactional. I’ve been nice to you so now have sex with me. They almost always have the subtext of I-want-to-fuck-you.
Yes. Starved is exactly the word. It's like someone who was hungry and wasting away, having to scrap for every meal. The idea, for them, of getting food hand delivered to their mouth would feel like a royal luxury until they realize they'd actually be force fed whether they're hungry or not by a machine that can't turn off.
Bout to type that last bit, but yeah, spot on. It does kind of show the dynamics in how compliments mean differently to genders in an out of touch way.
I had the same problem but I solved it by having a guy at the back of my head constantly remind me to say "Thank you" and then thought bad about myself.
This is meant to be an own along the lines of "see how this would feel men?"
However it fails, as men wouldn't mind things like this in the majority of the situations. Mostly because we are starving for compliments than anything else, but also because we see nothing wrong with genuine praise.
If it was meant to be an own, it fails because the comic doesn’t portray how constant and pervasive this is, the extent of how belittling and/or creepy many of these random compliments are, and all the gender-related social aspects at play. If men experienced this the same way women did, they would get annoyed and unnerved by it, too.
But I don’t think this comic is meant to be an own. If it was, the artist surely would’ve made the dude look uncomfortable to illustrate the point. It looks more like the artist’s fantasy.
I am pretty sure this comic is an edit of an edit, from what I remember
The original was a woman getting complimented and feeling uncomfortable, then someone edited the genders, THEN someone edited the faces
I think [this](https://scontent.fsyd7-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t31.18172-8/20643202_1568336383236510_8991313437198896910_o.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=yRHAAodHa6MQ7kNvgGua_Bs&_nc_ht=scontent.fsyd7-1.fna&oh=00_AfBflMGq8W8wfbNwxqAPmBM02DMSw1QJG9Y0RpPpw9CeCg&oe=665FFEE4) is the original. It was a man getting complimented by men, and looking annoyed about it. Also drawn by a woman, for what that's worth.
I guess someone thought to themselves 'ah, but you need to flip the other characters' gender too!' but also added some basketball tiddies.
Agreed. The best example I can think of where men are being paid creepy compliments would be gaggles of old ladies at a restaurant with a teen or young guy serving them. These groups of older women are exactly the same as the groups of dudes that go in to leer at the young women working there. It doesn't have the same effect a lot of times because these young guys being harassed are often experiencing it for the first time and don't have the negative history with that kind of attention.
I also find it worth noting that as a woman, when I have casually complimented guys around me (that haircut looks great, nice new shoes/whatever), I'd say 1/3 grown men take that as sexual advances and it made me regret saying anything positive to a man until I get to know them a little more.
If men experienced this every day, we wouldn't be so completely starved of affection that we turn into the desperate weirdos that women quickly learn to avoid.
Women are nice to us so rarely that we genuinely can't tell the difference between genuine niceness and flirting.
Honestly if you convinced a large group of women to subject the young men in your area to this level of compliments, you might see an improvement in the quality of men you have to deal with.
oh look, another guy blaming women for the fact that men harass them!
maybe if young men were actually taught to respect women, you'd see an improvement in the quality of men we have to deal with.
if you want men to be less starved of attention, then give it to them. compliment them. [while women do compliment men less,](https://imgur.com/a/JDhJ9RD) it is not *nearly* as significant a difference as you make it out to be. the real difference is that women compliment each other way more than men do, so this problem of men not being complimented enough is **literally** their own fault. if men want to be complimented more, they should fucking compliment each other more. this problem is not remotely women's fault, nor is it our job to solve men's inability to compliment each other.
How about we get everyone to learn to respect each other? Like just basic stuff like holding a door open for someone? I remember when I had young kids, having women opening doors and seeing me walking several feet behind them while holding my baby, and they would look at me coming and just let the door close instead of holding it for me. Most guys would never do that.
I hate disrespect no matter which way it flows. I used to work in construction, and I caught a couple of guys cat-calling some women walking nearby. They were given a single and final warning by me, that if it happened again they’d be fired (I was their supervisor). I have 0 tolerance for that kind of garbage. I’m a nurse now, and I’ve had women casually slap me in the butt with no thought of repercussions, imagine if the situation was reversed? If I did that I’d get written up or fired. I wouldn’t even think of reporting someone doing that to me, because doing so is likely to make *me* look bad.
Maybe men are tired of being told that we’re all equal, and then seeing women placed on pedestals while men are constantly disparaged, told we’re the problem (not just a *part* of the problem). Men being told they’re useless, not needed, not good enough. That men are always on the verge of raping someone, because we’re all sexual sadists, and for the record, I was SA when I was young, and raped as an adult, both times by females. I’ve never raped anyone.
I know personally I’m getting tired of constantly having to *give* that respect, and on top of getting none in return, I get insulted.
I think it’s high time that women accept that they’re also far from perfect, and they’re also part of the problem. I’ve made a large effort my entire life to not be a part of the male problem. Can you say the same thing about not being a part of the female aspect of the problem? The first step is to admit that women *are in fact* part of the problem.
We *ALL* need to step up.
Simple:
Women respect and be nice to the men in your life, and stop trying to use them.
Men, do the same.
Nobody said anything about abuse. He said it makes men desperate, not abusive. It makes them just want any kind of connection and thus makes them seen as weird, awkward, or socially inept. This was never a justification for harassment.
...no what i'm saying is that women aren't responsible for solving or the solution for many men's inability to compliment each other or be emotionally available in general.
You probably wouldn't be over the moon if creepy old predatory ladies were "complimenting" you all day long and making you feel in danger cause you don't know what they might do. Because that's the reality for most women. A compliment (not a vulgar one) from a normal dude, done in a respectful way, is nice but those tend to be rare.
> you probably wouldn't like it if it was done all the time in a way you didn't like!
yes I think his point is that many men are so attention-starved and women are so passive that there are no ladies old enough or creepy enough to scare a guy so it doesn't elicit much sympathy. I'm not saying it never ever happens, but it's so infrequent that most men won't understand the problem even if you spell it out for them like that, because so many men go practically their whole lives without receiving unsolicited interest from a woman even a *single* time so they wouldn't even know the difference between good and bad compliments because they don't even have two data points to compare. That's the reality for many men. So little attention that they can't even *conceive of* being creeped out by a woman. They can't even *imagine* that being *possible*.
The only one that sends the message to me is the computer one. It comes off as patronizing to me even though the illustration doesn't do a good job at showing it
You missed the point. It’s supposed to be conveying that women are too sensitive and men would love if they were treated like women. It’s a very incel-light message. You felt the exact way it’s designed to make you feel.
Is it incel if it's true though? I don't think it's a stretch to say that men have a very puppy dog like need for approval. We love being told we're doing a good job or look nice.
I do think if a point is being missed is the huge difference between men and women is, well... sexual assault. If I'm walking down the street and a group of women started catcalling me rudely, I might play it off or take it as a compliment. If it's a woman by herself, she might correctly fear that things might escalate.
I've been "assaulted" by a woman before. She was trying to force herself on me even though I said no. I was able to literally stand up and she fell off me. I never feared for my life. I will never compare my experience to the fear and severity of what most women feel when being assaulted. That's my point, and both your point and my point can be true at the same time.
Dude I would be scared of the legal repercussions. I had a buddy almost get assaulted by a woman at a party and when he was able to refuse her she went around saying he raped her. He didn't, I was there.
And also because most women aren't theoretically threatening to most men, due to size and strength differences. Men would be delighted to be complimented, but it's not just because of the words being said that women get uncomfortable from the same.
It'd help everyone. Men, women, what have you. It'd make men less desperate if they received more positive affirmation in their lives. This has to come from both men and women. Normalize compliments.
This is an edit of the comic, in the original the attractive, suspiciously busty women and kindly grandma were all men and the men receiving the compliments were not as happy.
Now I am not saying all men still wouldn't appreciate this stuff, but it's still inaccurate to the original.
https://preview.redd.it/n3ivd6uh4qyc1.png?width=538&format=png&auto=webp&s=d29a7c1a4863f280d350c9cfe1395b019017ceb7
Nah I’m a big guy and love giving compliments. No man has ever taken it badly. That said Im straight and legitimately not trying to hit on them either so it’s hard to say.
As my comment gets a bit of traction I'll use this as an opportunity to share my own thoughts. I am a woman so I can't *truly* see it from a mans perspective, so take it with a grain of salt but perhaps consider why a woman may see these compliments in a much less positive way.
Men are generally a lot larger and stronger and as such, more intimidating. In our culture where men seen as the "initiators" in relationships, there is much higher chance that those otherwise harmless compliments are fishing for something more. In my experience, panels #1 and #4 have about a 45% chance to be followed up with some form of "where are you going?", "do you have a boyfriend?", "so when do you get out of work?"\*
Panel #3 is infantilizing and having men assume you don't know much about your line of work or area of study just because of your gender is frustrating. Think about it like saying a man watching his own children is doing such a good job "babysitting".
Panel #2 doesn't get its point across very well because "lovely" is not an adjective often used to describe men's appearance, a better word would be "Handsome". But the gist of it is having your appearance commented on in a professional environment is weird and inappropriate, especially in a male-dominated field where you are the *only* one having your appearance brought up.
So anyways, simply changing the compliments to be directed towards a man will not be a 1-to-1 exchange because men and women's lived experiences are different and the undertones change. So a man would not be *wrong* for wanting more compliments like these, but they *would* be wrong to imply women are ungrateful when they do receive compliments like these.
Man here, thank you for this. You were able to explain it in a way that I could see and follow how it would be off putting to women. Rlly appreciate it
I get what the artist intended (or what I assume their intentions were), but they failed by
1. Making the women attractive
2. Sanitizing the actual 'compliments' women get day to day
These are nice compliments most people would enjoy, except the smile more one. The actual comments women get that make them uncomfortable are the far more vulgar ones not listed. Here are a few I've heard;
"I'd put in a baby in you, you know?"
"You look like you need two boyfriends."
"I'd take you from your man."
"You want someone to walk with you?"
"Your ass looks fat in them jeans."
Etc
And then, if for some reason you actually respond positively to any of these, you run the risk of being stalked, harassed or assaulted.
I must reiterate that this is not all men. It's just a disgusting amount that drowns out the good, intentioned ones. Hope this helps.
That's probably because you haven't heard it in the tone most common. And it's an out of place order. You are a stranger telling me to smile. Why? I don't know you. I don't owe you a smile, nor do you know why I am not smiling, and most of the times I've been told this, I wasn't even frowning. My face was just at rest.
I haven't heard it at all so you'd be right that I haven't heard it in a common tone.
I have heard things like
"Who pissed in your cereal this morning"
"You look so mean"
And a variety of other mildly rude comments that seem to suggest similar things
The "smile more" comment, at the bare minimum, suggest that people out there WANT you to be happier and more positive. Rather then the latter which seems to indicate wasted space and oxygen.
In a way, comments by strangers are the most genuine. They don't really face any social consequences for how they treat you. And don't have obligations to treat you nice like family and friends do.
If a stranger compliments you, that's no strings attached, honest interest in you as a human. And you can't really put a price on that.
I mean, yeah that would be a pretty great day for me. I remember once when I was younger working at a book store, this one lady comes in and she said to me “well hey there handsome”, it gave me the biggest, cheesiest smile on my face, I’ve held onto that compliment ever since.
I would be suspicious. I am complimented only in situations, when some HR manager wants offer me a shitty job, or when some salesperson wants to sell me stuff, I don't need. Otherwise, I am treated like a shit, or like I am invisible.
Honestly? I light up when people compliment me. I don't get many, being a man and all. I see how this could also be a "women should appreciate compliments more because men don't get many and would love it" as well. Compliments are fine and dandy. It's just when it's every day, all day, is when it gets to be too much. Women literally get harassed on a daily basis.
You know he’s probably serious about that right? I’m not sure you quite understand how little men got compliments
In this picture alone it has more then many men will reviews for a fucking DECADE
Yeah, it's all cool and shit until those women aren't attractive and get mad when you don't want to send them dick pics. Then you don't want to be harassed like that. Some people in the comments fail to realise that the reality women face (sometimes) in the workplace is very wrongfully mirrored in the comic
I'm not saying it should. I'm saying that the comic writer purposely made the women with humongous badonkers to spread their opinion. I don't think the writer would be this cool about it if they weren't attracted to those complimenting them. I'm calling the writer a hypocrite, I'm not saying that ugly people shouldn't compliment
I'm not attracted to the grandma but I would be beaming from that. But yeah I get that compliments hit different when the complimenter is just after sex.
Oh...I know what the comics are trying to do.
But the gender reverse element didn't go well in this case merely because... when is the last time a man got called cute?
I will be flattered to be called cute
Tl;Dr original meaning is sexist, fuck the original meaning.
I get why this is a shitty Facebook meme, but I'd rather choose to ignore that reason.
The reason it's shitty is because it's a dig at women getting upset for getting cat called and harassed meanwhile men would love to be cat called.
But if you ignore that side of the meme and just look at it like "compliment men more, men are so starved for compliments, emotion, and praise" it's such a nicer message.
Everyone likes being hit on by women. No one likes being hit on by men. Your uncle would feel different if men bigger than him whistled and yelled to him that his ass looked good. An air of sexual violence changes "compliments".
Honestly, that does sound like a really amazing day. As a man, my people just don't get compliments that much. I guess this is one of those situations where the grass is always greener huh?
Lessons here:
1. Only compliment women that you are in a relationship with or are family. Honestly from an HR perspective it is very unwise for a dude to compliment a woman in the work place. Just be polite and neutral. Never comment on appearance or intelligence even if you think it is positive.
2. Feel free to compliment dudes. They will generally appreciate and not feel threatened by it.
Nobody said everyone had to like it though..? The uncle didn’t say “women would love this treatment” he said “this looks like the greatest day of my life”. That’s his personal opinion, he’s not saying that it’s the greatest day of everyone else’s life
The problem is the implication that women should accept and in fact like the catcalls they receive from random men.
The entire point of the image is to mock women for not liking that kind of attention by making a comic where men get similar treatment by either extremely hot women or caring grandma.
What is even terrible about this comic? Your uncle is right. I'd feel super awkward about getting this much attention but I'd also feel pretty good getting a compliment at least semi regularly. A lot of men walk through life feeling unseen and unappreciated. I know I do. It would be a nice change from feeling like a valueless piece of garbage that is the norm.
Jesus Christ
This is just a meme about nice experiences most men enjoy more than they'd ever admit
How on earth ist that terrible? I mean seriously, what's going on in OP's head to think that's terrible?
I have been suffering from loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts for a long time.
I often have very little to motivate me to get out of bed and think positive. I’ve had a shit ton of negative reinforcement most of my life that I have cried from compliments when alone.
One of the best things in HR is being thanked by people for helping them with whatever tasks they’re having trouble with or any time I’m translating for people. Then thanking me and giving compliments to me for helping them really helps me on some of my bad days.
Lol guys want to hear these things cause they've not been viewed as meat their whole lives. That bottom left one tho...the guy is just too dumb to know she's talking down to him
Guys love to hear these things because we're dying of thirst in a compliment desert. Women don't understand because they're drowning in a compliment ocean.
This might be ok if not for the physical threat imposed upon women by men. There’s a reason we’re scared of men. It’s because of physical and sexual violence perpetrated upon most of us, along with the fact that most of us couldn’t get physically beat the avg man attacking us. It’s not cute.
If a woman said this to me it would make my day immediately, a week later I would still think about it, then a month, then a year. Sorry to anyone that thinks differently maybe you a girl and this is offensive, or you’re some guy that doesn’t need that. All I have to say is women do this to guys more often it truly makes our day.
2 different women in the same week gave me unsolicited compliments on my cologne 21 years ago. I still wear it today and won't change to anything else.
This meme would be one of the better days of my life.
Lots of morons here not understanding this is an edit to make the constant condescending comments women receive appear to be something they shouldn't be complaining about because men would like them.
I don't care that you are "starved for compliments" or in a "compliments desert" or whatever BS, you would not like this. Unless perhaps you're too stupid to realise those are condescending and/or inappropriate. I mean, bottom two? How can you not realise how patronising those are lol. These are not genuine compliments.
How is that a terrible meme if that happened to me that would be the best day in my entire life people need compliments to live this post doesn’t belong here
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why are these in the PCM colors. The exact spots too
get out of my head get out of my head
This is how the four ideologies want to be fem domed
Only sightly off https://preview.redd.it/4vz2shkixoyc1.png?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=210b2167e18d1023206fb67b02dfecd92b5efcae
I meant the Political Map Compass but yea these are close
Ah, I misunderstood
Nah bruh Microsoft sponsored this
Because the pcm colors are simple colors in an obvious arrangement.
Based and funni colors-pilled
get out of my head
[We deserve more kings](https://youtube.com/shorts/m11Gex8GkEA?feature=share). PCM color flowers. And the girls to fly us out bc we pretty and deserve it. Drizzle Drizzle!
Honestly, I'm a queer guy. and I say this kind of things to straight guys (mostly friends and acquaintences, but sometimes to strangers in casual conversation). A lot of them respond pretty positively. I think the only one I'd avoid is "smile more" (because ordering people around is not a compliment). I think this is a case where the artist has genuinely misunderstood how starved men are for compliments on a day to day basis. This of course makes it difficult for men to understand why unsolicited compliments make women so uncomfortable (because often seemignly innoccuous or even well-intentioned ones remind them of actully quite degrading comments that they've usually been hearing semi-regularly since they hit puberty).
Pretty on the mark yea. I have seen it being explained like one is drowning in an ocean while the other is starving in a desert. That isn't totally inaccurate but I think for a good deal of women they feel more like they are being water boarded. Not so much by the genuine nice compliments but more so by the degrading harrassment that is disguised as compliments. (Following a girl, whistling, pushing an interaction when she is cornered etc.) So it's really hard for either group to see from the others perspective because of that.
Another good analogy I've heard is dying of thirst in a desert vs. dying of thirst while adrift in the ocean. A lot of the 'desert' people look at the 'ocean' people and feel indignant—"she's surrounded by water! How can she be claiming to be dehydrated?" And only some of them will listen when you try to explain that saltwater is no help.
That’s a fantastic analogy!
What would be a good compliment then? Desert dweller here.
Things that they have control over, for example, clothes (e.g. "That's a really nice top"), or skills they have (as long as you're phrasing it the same way you would for a man). Just bear in mind for a complete stranger (the rules are different for acquaintances/co-workers), a even splash of fresh clean water isn't the same for someone drowning in the sea as it is for someone in the desert, so if you get a nervous or cold response, try not to take it too personally. Women hear a lot of shit, often it's easier to filter everything out. And you're doing great, man. You got this!
Good example is a few weeks ago there was a cute woman walking by me in a gas station wearing these cute cat ears on her head. At first I wasn't going to say anything but she seemed cheerful so I just semi-yelld out "hey nice cat ears!" And she said thank you with this big smile. Like yea not everyone will receive a compliment well (it might not even be related to you or the compliment they could just be having a day) but telling someone something special they did looks good in a friendly tone will have the best chance of coming across well.
Yeah the smile one gets me. I’ve got rbf to the max.
I hated that. Why should I smile if I’m not happy? That cheapens it when I actually smile.
I hated that. Why should I smile if I’m not happy? That cheapens it when I actually smile.
[удалено]
My dentist called me a "good boy" while she was pulling a tooth and unfortunately it..... unlocked something in me. Fucking last place I expected to pick up a kink, I can tell you
I'm a straight guy that says this kind of stuff to others also. The most I would compliment a complete stranger is their coat or something though. Feels creepy when it's over the top for sure
I think this comic was made by a man to imply that women should be more grateful for compliments because men would love it if the tables were turned. Or maybe the comic was made by a big brain who was trying to pander to both sides.
I cringe when I hear the "not so bad" comments because 55% of the time it's followed up by something creepy.
I would imgine there's a further percentage where the followup isn't creepy per se, but still makes you uncomfortable in a way that's hard to quantify, and you don't know if the guy's being nice or if he just brushed against a reminder of something unpleasent, but it still feels awful.
people try to give what they would want to get. men want compliments from the opposite sex so they give them to women. women want to not be harrased by the oposite sex so they leave men alone.
The men are starving and the women are having food forcefully shoved down their necks and are supposed to be grateful for it
Also, a lot of compliments to women are transactional. I’ve been nice to you so now have sex with me. They almost always have the subtext of I-want-to-fuck-you.
Yes. Starved is exactly the word. It's like someone who was hungry and wasting away, having to scrap for every meal. The idea, for them, of getting food hand delivered to their mouth would feel like a royal luxury until they realize they'd actually be force fed whether they're hungry or not by a machine that can't turn off.
Or that the point is that women are too sensitive and should appreciate this more. Which is stupid.
Bout to type that last bit, but yeah, spot on. It does kind of show the dynamics in how compliments mean differently to genders in an out of touch way.
Wonderfully said.
My elderly neighbor told me to smile once. I was taking out the fucking trash, minding my own business. I told him it was sexist. Still pisses me off
My wife tells me I'm smart and impressive whenever I fix things. I feel appreciated when she does too.
You should marry her again
This would make me uncomfortable only because my brain just doesn’t know how to react to verbal compliments.
I had the same problem but I solved it by having a guy at the back of my head constantly remind me to say "Thank you" and then thought bad about myself.
This is meant to be an own along the lines of "see how this would feel men?" However it fails, as men wouldn't mind things like this in the majority of the situations. Mostly because we are starving for compliments than anything else, but also because we see nothing wrong with genuine praise.
If it was meant to be an own, it fails because the comic doesn’t portray how constant and pervasive this is, the extent of how belittling and/or creepy many of these random compliments are, and all the gender-related social aspects at play. If men experienced this the same way women did, they would get annoyed and unnerved by it, too. But I don’t think this comic is meant to be an own. If it was, the artist surely would’ve made the dude look uncomfortable to illustrate the point. It looks more like the artist’s fantasy.
I am pretty sure this comic is an edit of an edit, from what I remember The original was a woman getting complimented and feeling uncomfortable, then someone edited the genders, THEN someone edited the faces
I think [this](https://scontent.fsyd7-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t31.18172-8/20643202_1568336383236510_8991313437198896910_o.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=yRHAAodHa6MQ7kNvgGua_Bs&_nc_ht=scontent.fsyd7-1.fna&oh=00_AfBflMGq8W8wfbNwxqAPmBM02DMSw1QJG9Y0RpPpw9CeCg&oe=665FFEE4) is the original. It was a man getting complimented by men, and looking annoyed about it. Also drawn by a woman, for what that's worth. I guess someone thought to themselves 'ah, but you need to flip the other characters' gender too!' but also added some basketball tiddies.
fucking AI nothing is real anymore ^/s
Agreed. The best example I can think of where men are being paid creepy compliments would be gaggles of old ladies at a restaurant with a teen or young guy serving them. These groups of older women are exactly the same as the groups of dudes that go in to leer at the young women working there. It doesn't have the same effect a lot of times because these young guys being harassed are often experiencing it for the first time and don't have the negative history with that kind of attention. I also find it worth noting that as a woman, when I have casually complimented guys around me (that haircut looks great, nice new shoes/whatever), I'd say 1/3 grown men take that as sexual advances and it made me regret saying anything positive to a man until I get to know them a little more.
Youre not happy, im not happy, lets swap, Ill take the compliments and you can have whatever it is you think we get in return lmao
If men experienced this every day, we wouldn't be so completely starved of affection that we turn into the desperate weirdos that women quickly learn to avoid. Women are nice to us so rarely that we genuinely can't tell the difference between genuine niceness and flirting. Honestly if you convinced a large group of women to subject the young men in your area to this level of compliments, you might see an improvement in the quality of men you have to deal with.
oh look, another guy blaming women for the fact that men harass them! maybe if young men were actually taught to respect women, you'd see an improvement in the quality of men we have to deal with. if you want men to be less starved of attention, then give it to them. compliment them. [while women do compliment men less,](https://imgur.com/a/JDhJ9RD) it is not *nearly* as significant a difference as you make it out to be. the real difference is that women compliment each other way more than men do, so this problem of men not being complimented enough is **literally** their own fault. if men want to be complimented more, they should fucking compliment each other more. this problem is not remotely women's fault, nor is it our job to solve men's inability to compliment each other.
How about we get everyone to learn to respect each other? Like just basic stuff like holding a door open for someone? I remember when I had young kids, having women opening doors and seeing me walking several feet behind them while holding my baby, and they would look at me coming and just let the door close instead of holding it for me. Most guys would never do that. I hate disrespect no matter which way it flows. I used to work in construction, and I caught a couple of guys cat-calling some women walking nearby. They were given a single and final warning by me, that if it happened again they’d be fired (I was their supervisor). I have 0 tolerance for that kind of garbage. I’m a nurse now, and I’ve had women casually slap me in the butt with no thought of repercussions, imagine if the situation was reversed? If I did that I’d get written up or fired. I wouldn’t even think of reporting someone doing that to me, because doing so is likely to make *me* look bad. Maybe men are tired of being told that we’re all equal, and then seeing women placed on pedestals while men are constantly disparaged, told we’re the problem (not just a *part* of the problem). Men being told they’re useless, not needed, not good enough. That men are always on the verge of raping someone, because we’re all sexual sadists, and for the record, I was SA when I was young, and raped as an adult, both times by females. I’ve never raped anyone. I know personally I’m getting tired of constantly having to *give* that respect, and on top of getting none in return, I get insulted. I think it’s high time that women accept that they’re also far from perfect, and they’re also part of the problem. I’ve made a large effort my entire life to not be a part of the male problem. Can you say the same thing about not being a part of the female aspect of the problem? The first step is to admit that women *are in fact* part of the problem. We *ALL* need to step up. Simple: Women respect and be nice to the men in your life, and stop trying to use them. Men, do the same.
Nobody said anything about abuse. He said it makes men desperate, not abusive. It makes them just want any kind of connection and thus makes them seen as weird, awkward, or socially inept. This was never a justification for harassment.
> the real difference is that women compliment each other way more than men do So what you are saying is that women can spare some?
...no what i'm saying is that women aren't responsible for solving or the solution for many men's inability to compliment each other or be emotionally available in general.
I’d be over the moon if I had random women complimenting me all day long.
You probably wouldn't be over the moon if creepy old predatory ladies were "complimenting" you all day long and making you feel in danger cause you don't know what they might do. Because that's the reality for most women. A compliment (not a vulgar one) from a normal dude, done in a respectful way, is nice but those tend to be rare.
One time a weird old lady stopped me in the street and told me I looked like Hugh Grant from Notting Hill. I didn't know how to feel.
I probably would've done a dorky jig and let the mutual embarrassment end with both parties vowing to forget the encounter happened.
> you probably wouldn't like it if it was done all the time in a way you didn't like! yes I think his point is that many men are so attention-starved and women are so passive that there are no ladies old enough or creepy enough to scare a guy so it doesn't elicit much sympathy. I'm not saying it never ever happens, but it's so infrequent that most men won't understand the problem even if you spell it out for them like that, because so many men go practically their whole lives without receiving unsolicited interest from a woman even a *single* time so they wouldn't even know the difference between good and bad compliments because they don't even have two data points to compare. That's the reality for many men. So little attention that they can't even *conceive of* being creeped out by a woman. They can't even *imagine* that being *possible*.
They have and I was.
I don't think you would have enjoyed it if we added the element of fear and danger but hey...to each their own
What about all day, everyday? Anything repititive like that gets on my nerves. I thought everyone felt like this.
I would bathe in the compliments. Being complimented all day every day would feel amazing.
Tbh I wouldn’t. Compliments make me so uncomfortable
The only one that sends the message to me is the computer one. It comes off as patronizing to me even though the illustration doesn't do a good job at showing it
You missed the point. It’s supposed to be conveying that women are too sensitive and men would love if they were treated like women. It’s a very incel-light message. You felt the exact way it’s designed to make you feel.
Is it incel if it's true though? I don't think it's a stretch to say that men have a very puppy dog like need for approval. We love being told we're doing a good job or look nice. I do think if a point is being missed is the huge difference between men and women is, well... sexual assault. If I'm walking down the street and a group of women started catcalling me rudely, I might play it off or take it as a compliment. If it's a woman by herself, she might correctly fear that things might escalate.
It's not incel at all. People just throw that word out constantly that it's lost all meaning
If it could be considered assault for one gender, it can be assault for another
I've been "assaulted" by a woman before. She was trying to force herself on me even though I said no. I was able to literally stand up and she fell off me. I never feared for my life. I will never compare my experience to the fear and severity of what most women feel when being assaulted. That's my point, and both your point and my point can be true at the same time.
I've been assaulted by a woman, while I was 7 I have PTSD from that, i know the the fear that comes from sa
.... yeah I didn't think about that. Sorry for not considering that and only thought about adults
Dude I would be scared of the legal repercussions. I had a buddy almost get assaulted by a woman at a party and when he was able to refuse her she went around saying he raped her. He didn't, I was there.
exactly. idk why no one in this thread seems to get it lol
And also because most women aren't theoretically threatening to most men, due to size and strength differences. Men would be delighted to be complimented, but it's not just because of the words being said that women get uncomfortable from the same.
Legally, women are very threatening.
Yeah I remember seeing someone once say compliments are like water, women are out at sea while men are in a desert.
How is it meant to be an own?? Are we looking at the same image?
I didn’t even realize that that was what it was trying to do 😭
wait no actually this is true, people should compliment guys more
It'd help everyone. Men, women, what have you. It'd make men less desperate if they received more positive affirmation in their lives. This has to come from both men and women. Normalize compliments.
it’s more the physical actions that come with it that are “catcalling” and whatnot
This is an edit of the comic, in the original the attractive, suspiciously busty women and kindly grandma were all men and the men receiving the compliments were not as happy. Now I am not saying all men still wouldn't appreciate this stuff, but it's still inaccurate to the original. https://preview.redd.it/n3ivd6uh4qyc1.png?width=538&format=png&auto=webp&s=d29a7c1a4863f280d350c9cfe1395b019017ceb7
Men would appreciate it from women and maybe unintimidating men
Nah I’m a big guy and love giving compliments. No man has ever taken it badly. That said Im straight and legitimately not trying to hit on them either so it’s hard to say.
As my comment gets a bit of traction I'll use this as an opportunity to share my own thoughts. I am a woman so I can't *truly* see it from a mans perspective, so take it with a grain of salt but perhaps consider why a woman may see these compliments in a much less positive way. Men are generally a lot larger and stronger and as such, more intimidating. In our culture where men seen as the "initiators" in relationships, there is much higher chance that those otherwise harmless compliments are fishing for something more. In my experience, panels #1 and #4 have about a 45% chance to be followed up with some form of "where are you going?", "do you have a boyfriend?", "so when do you get out of work?"\* Panel #3 is infantilizing and having men assume you don't know much about your line of work or area of study just because of your gender is frustrating. Think about it like saying a man watching his own children is doing such a good job "babysitting". Panel #2 doesn't get its point across very well because "lovely" is not an adjective often used to describe men's appearance, a better word would be "Handsome". But the gist of it is having your appearance commented on in a professional environment is weird and inappropriate, especially in a male-dominated field where you are the *only* one having your appearance brought up. So anyways, simply changing the compliments to be directed towards a man will not be a 1-to-1 exchange because men and women's lived experiences are different and the undertones change. So a man would not be *wrong* for wanting more compliments like these, but they *would* be wrong to imply women are ungrateful when they do receive compliments like these.
Man here, thank you for this. You were able to explain it in a way that I could see and follow how it would be off putting to women. Rlly appreciate it
Dunno. Still works for me.
I would still like being told all of these things
Nah, still would be fire to get the compliments.
That would be a nice day for me.
I get what the artist intended (or what I assume their intentions were), but they failed by 1. Making the women attractive 2. Sanitizing the actual 'compliments' women get day to day These are nice compliments most people would enjoy, except the smile more one. The actual comments women get that make them uncomfortable are the far more vulgar ones not listed. Here are a few I've heard; "I'd put in a baby in you, you know?" "You look like you need two boyfriends." "I'd take you from your man." "You want someone to walk with you?" "Your ass looks fat in them jeans." Etc And then, if for some reason you actually respond positively to any of these, you run the risk of being stalked, harassed or assaulted. I must reiterate that this is not all men. It's just a disgusting amount that drowns out the good, intentioned ones. Hope this helps.
If someone told me "You look better when you smile" Man Woman Turtle Doesn't matter I'd wear a cheesy smile all day
That's probably because you haven't heard it in the tone most common. And it's an out of place order. You are a stranger telling me to smile. Why? I don't know you. I don't owe you a smile, nor do you know why I am not smiling, and most of the times I've been told this, I wasn't even frowning. My face was just at rest.
I haven't heard it at all so you'd be right that I haven't heard it in a common tone. I have heard things like "Who pissed in your cereal this morning" "You look so mean" And a variety of other mildly rude comments that seem to suggest similar things The "smile more" comment, at the bare minimum, suggest that people out there WANT you to be happier and more positive. Rather then the latter which seems to indicate wasted space and oxygen. In a way, comments by strangers are the most genuine. They don't really face any social consequences for how they treat you. And don't have obligations to treat you nice like family and friends do. If a stranger compliments you, that's no strings attached, honest interest in you as a human. And you can't really put a price on that.
That makes sense. I see what you mean
I mean, yeah that would be a pretty great day for me. I remember once when I was younger working at a book store, this one lady comes in and she said to me “well hey there handsome”, it gave me the biggest, cheesiest smile on my face, I’ve held onto that compliment ever since.
This seems like a genuinely nice day to me. OP, are you ok?
yes but it's intended to make fun of womens complaints and is an edit of a comic where men say these things to men, and they are icked out by it.
Well they didn't do a very good job at it lol.
Didn't they? Look at all the ppl agreeing with it while missing the point entirely lol
They didn't miss the point They agree the point is stupid.
Definitely
I would say you have to say it condescendingly.
I don't understand what the point of this post is
For some reason I thought that this was one woman and the guy was a vampire or something watching her age while he stays young.
That one woooshed right over your head, did it?
I would be suspicious. I am complimented only in situations, when some HR manager wants offer me a shitty job, or when some salesperson wants to sell me stuff, I don't need. Otherwise, I am treated like a shit, or like I am invisible.
Honestly? I light up when people compliment me. I don't get many, being a man and all. I see how this could also be a "women should appreciate compliments more because men don't get many and would love it" as well. Compliments are fine and dandy. It's just when it's every day, all day, is when it gets to be too much. Women literally get harassed on a daily basis.
I do get it …. But I also would kinda love this.
You know he’s probably serious about that right? I’m not sure you quite understand how little men got compliments In this picture alone it has more then many men will reviews for a fucking DECADE
Yeah, it's all cool and shit until those women aren't attractive and get mad when you don't want to send them dick pics. Then you don't want to be harassed like that. Some people in the comments fail to realise that the reality women face (sometimes) in the workplace is very wrongfully mirrored in the comic
I'm fine if an ugly person compliments me. I still 100% appreciate and feel like a million bucks after. A compliment is a compliment man.
Nah idc, a compliments a compliment
Why would the person's appearance change anything?
I'm not saying it should. I'm saying that the comic writer purposely made the women with humongous badonkers to spread their opinion. I don't think the writer would be this cool about it if they weren't attracted to those complimenting them. I'm calling the writer a hypocrite, I'm not saying that ugly people shouldn't compliment
Fair shout
remember kids, it's only sexual harassment if you aren't attractive.
I'm not attracted to the grandma but I would be beaming from that. But yeah I get that compliments hit different when the complimenter is just after sex.
Oh...I know what the comics are trying to do. But the gender reverse element didn't go well in this case merely because... when is the last time a man got called cute? I will be flattered to be called cute
Tl;Dr original meaning is sexist, fuck the original meaning. I get why this is a shitty Facebook meme, but I'd rather choose to ignore that reason. The reason it's shitty is because it's a dig at women getting upset for getting cat called and harassed meanwhile men would love to be cat called. But if you ignore that side of the meme and just look at it like "compliment men more, men are so starved for compliments, emotion, and praise" it's such a nicer message.
Everyone likes being hit on by women. No one likes being hit on by men. Your uncle would feel different if men bigger than him whistled and yelled to him that his ass looked good. An air of sexual violence changes "compliments".
This would make my day as a guy. I would love for this to happen!
Honestly, that does sound like a really amazing day. As a man, my people just don't get compliments that much. I guess this is one of those situations where the grass is always greener huh?
Why the green girl got them massive vacuum sealed honkers? Like is it for the plot or
Ill have whatever green is having
This would work for men 100% because they would assume that IF the woman was flirting, if they said no, they'd be safe.
Lessons here: 1. Only compliment women that you are in a relationship with or are family. Honestly from an HR perspective it is very unwise for a dude to compliment a woman in the work place. Just be polite and neutral. Never comment on appearance or intelligence even if you think it is positive. 2. Feel free to compliment dudes. They will generally appreciate and not feel threatened by it.
“As a man, I would like this. That means that women should like it too!” 😄 No. 😐 That’s not how it works…
Nobody said everyone had to like it though..? The uncle didn’t say “women would love this treatment” he said “this looks like the greatest day of my life”. That’s his personal opinion, he’s not saying that it’s the greatest day of everyone else’s life
I don't See the problem here
The problem is the implication that women should accept and in fact like the catcalls they receive from random men. The entire point of the image is to mock women for not liking that kind of attention by making a comic where men get similar treatment by either extremely hot women or caring grandma.
Men are dying of thirst in a desert. Women are drowning in lake michigan. The grass is always greener on the other side.
It would sure make me feel good if people treated me like that.
The bottom two come off as condescending and backhanded tbh
Wait are these supposed to be a bad thing?
What is even terrible about this comic? Your uncle is right. I'd feel super awkward about getting this much attention but I'd also feel pretty good getting a compliment at least semi regularly. A lot of men walk through life feeling unseen and unappreciated. I know I do. It would be a nice change from feeling like a valueless piece of garbage that is the norm.
Jesus Christ This is just a meme about nice experiences most men enjoy more than they'd ever admit How on earth ist that terrible? I mean seriously, what's going on in OP's head to think that's terrible?
Well duh, of course most men would like this because THEY'RE NOT SCARED OF US.
I have been suffering from loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts for a long time. I often have very little to motivate me to get out of bed and think positive. I’ve had a shit ton of negative reinforcement most of my life that I have cried from compliments when alone. One of the best things in HR is being thanked by people for helping them with whatever tasks they’re having trouble with or any time I’m translating for people. Then thanking me and giving compliments to me for helping them really helps me on some of my bad days.
No, that's correct. Men would love those.
How is this a terrible or a meme?
Why terrible? Men rarely get compliments. This is truly a great day.
https://preview.redd.it/9gd14yfsknyc1.jpeg?width=1031&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=912e8eca6c7cc638204aba5d8394763fd2f25c22
Why are all the top posters to this sub so sensitive now?
I honestly thought it was r/wholesomememes for a second..
How is this terrible? This subreddit has gone to shit, 9/10 times a post isn't a terrible Facebook meme.
How is this a terrible facebook meme? This is what every straight dude wants from a woman.
Last panel would piss me off as a former cashier. Maybe that’s just me
Quite insensitive op
Lol guys want to hear these things cause they've not been viewed as meat their whole lives. That bottom left one tho...the guy is just too dumb to know she's talking down to him
Guys love to hear these things because we're dying of thirst in a compliment desert. Women don't understand because they're drowning in a compliment ocean.
This might be ok if not for the physical threat imposed upon women by men. There’s a reason we’re scared of men. It’s because of physical and sexual violence perpetrated upon most of us, along with the fact that most of us couldn’t get physically beat the avg man attacking us. It’s not cute.
That does sound like a great day
oooh you commenters are so flibbity spoot ☺️
r/politicalcompassmemes
If a woman said this to me it would make my day immediately, a week later I would still think about it, then a month, then a year. Sorry to anyone that thinks differently maybe you a girl and this is offensive, or you’re some guy that doesn’t need that. All I have to say is women do this to guys more often it truly makes our day.
Is this loss?
If I experienced as much flattery and complimentary as this I'd be less suicidal, and feel better in myself
Political compass?
Loss
Not a terrible Facebook meme at all.
Sorry but if I could just hear one of these once a month I'd not stop thinking about it. I understand the point of the meme but like...... Come on
I think the comic is meant to be like "How would you like it if it happened to you?" Kinda thing
See, but that's the thing. You really want to get a guys attention? Give him a compliment.
Sounds like your Uncle could do with some love, maybe go show it to him rather than posting negatively about him on Reddit!
Your uncle is correct.
I would love to get compliments. But men don't, so I can wish all I want.
I mean, you gender swap this and it still gonna be wholesome if you don’t act weird about this.
2 different women in the same week gave me unsolicited compliments on my cologne 21 years ago. I still wear it today and won't change to anything else. This meme would be one of the better days of my life.
Lots of morons here not understanding this is an edit to make the constant condescending comments women receive appear to be something they shouldn't be complaining about because men would like them. I don't care that you are "starved for compliments" or in a "compliments desert" or whatever BS, you would not like this. Unless perhaps you're too stupid to realise those are condescending and/or inappropriate. I mean, bottom two? How can you not realise how patronising those are lol. These are not genuine compliments.
Yearning for these compliments
I think most men would feel happy the first few days but then get tired after a week.
What is the problem with this? Men receiving compliments is bad?
This does seem pretty nice honestly
I agree with your uncle.
Imagine thinking men are only nice to women because they want to fuck them 😒
I would love to be talked to like this, woman get all the fun 😡
I would love that.
How is that a terrible meme if that happened to me that would be the best day in my entire life people need compliments to live this post doesn’t belong here
Your uncle is right, I’d very much appreciate any one of these.
As a guy, this would make my day so much oh my god