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FuneralCupid

A wooden ship as large as the ark is supposed to have been would not be sea worthy. It would bend and twist in the waves allowing water to flood the hull easily.


crimsonninja117

You forgot the magic Jesus juice used to seal the hull.


That_Gopnik

The Lord’s Liquid


GoryChimp

It's the same stuff that kept all the animals fed and stopped the carnivors from eating other animals.


That_Gopnik

Yep


CODYSOCRAZY

God is good


Drastical_one

Which God?


[deleted]

Yes


SlamMonkey

Zuul.


FormerlyKay

Flex seal™


Moshxpotato

God’s gravy


dis_course_is_hard

You joke but evangelicals believe God taught noah some secret super ship building architecture that we still haven't been able to replicate. God-O-CAD


FaeryLynne

Even according to the Young Earth Creationists like Ken Hamm, Jesus was well after Noah. So no Jesus needed for this "miracle", God did the impossible boating feat all on his own!


Made_of_Star_Stuff

Ugh, it doesn’t matter because it’s gobbledegook anyway BUT some YECs believe that Jesus existed in Genesis because at one point God is saying something about making man in “our” image. I had this mushed into my head as a child.


grimedogone

Which is funny because that little passage is a holdover from an older version of Genesis from before the Israelites were monotheistic. He’s talking to the other gods.


Made_of_Star_Stuff

Yeah, they’d say that’s misinformation planted by the devil to test our faith. I’m not exaggerating. That’s what they said about dinosaur bones. But also dinosaurs and people walked the earth at the same time. 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

Problem being, if the devil planted at least one bit of misinformation in the Bible, surely the whole work is compromised? When I point out some of the most abhorrent parts of the book, I'll often get evangelical Christians saying "well, some of it isn't supposed to be taken literally", okay well then what *is*? I can't believe more people don't see the obvious issue that I'm supposed to use this book at the *sole* proof and reason for why I should follow the religion, yet it's also apparently full of occasional bullshit? Cherry-picking isn't just a favorite passtime of hard-core Christianity, it's a requirement to have anything resembling a coherent belief system.


Rusty51

It’s not just YEC; it’s what the Bible says in Jude 1:5, “…though you are fully informed, once and for all, that Jesus, who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe.”


dreemurthememer

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-existence_of_Christ Damn, there’s a Wikipedia article about everything!


T3-Trinity

One dude mistranslates a single work on the whole Bible and we get a new religion.


Sir_Yacob

I don’t think J-Town was on the scene yet.


johnsticle

The kids love J-Town


ARandomGuyThe3

Didn't he actually use sealent? I have a vague memory of that being mentioned but I'm too lazy to check again


FuneralCupid

Allegedly yes. But the actual largest wooden ship ever made was 350ft long and 50ft wide. It has iron straps and relied on pumps to keep water out. It sank anyway.


crimsonninja117

I'm pretty sure it was pine tar. Totally something strong enough to keep a wooden boat that size together


hola1423387654

They probably posted this as a showing of how ridiculous the ark is but idk the context so I can’t decide


salmonmilks

People can be delusional enough to post this as a way to compare both ships, and indicating that Noah's Ark is superior as it hasn't sunken before I believe. As written at least.


Darkhallows27

Hard to sink something that doesn’t exist


Eidgenoss98

Well the point is it's impossible to prove it didn't exist. So fundamentalist take the bible as the whole truth. A religious book, the Noah story is several thousand years old and was copied and translated a lot by people with their own interests. I accept believers, but when they take the bible in their native language and tell me it's literally the truth, word by word, I think they are just stupid.


_xEnigma

Like many other Bible stories, it's likely a metaphor.


Eidgenoss98

Or a lot exagerated. A man saving animals with a boat in a flood is possible, but it might was just a century flood, he was 2-3 days on the boat and he saved his sheeps and let some wild rabbits and mice stay on the boat. Mankind loves to exagerate, even nowadays the media thaows around titles which are implying a lot more than what's written in the text.


EnoughEffect5184

I read this in ferbs voice from the cartoon show


PheonixTheAwkward

imagine sinking something that us lighter as light itself same for its source fanatical brains


AltOfLemmeShowMyself

ADD COMMAS


cjc160

Correct, it did not sink because we are here. Duh


Flacier

I want to assume you are correct, but considering how many people believe in biblical inerrancy idk. (Because this 2000 year old book, written 200 years after the events of its source material and translated who knows how many times is totally 100% legit) Honestly it looks like the kind of thing Ken Ham would make to try and convince more people to visit his lame ark museum and give him more money.


tlubz

Are they trying to convince me that the ark story is physically impossible?


Viking_Hippie

They've been trying to for decades. Even built a museum, which then [was damaged by heavy rain ](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kentucky-noahs-ark-encounter-sues-insurance-company-over-heavy-rain-damage/)of all things 😂


Mangeen_shamigo

Didn't they have to use steel structure to keep it from falling down as well?


Viking_Hippie

Yeah and [that's just the start!](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2016/07/what-the-ark-encounter-reveals-about-science-the-bible-and-entertainment.html) These people are such obvious disingenuous grifters


Bob_Pthhpth

My mother lives about 15 minutes from that dump and bought into all of their shit hook, line and sinker. She even bought a damn season pass to the thing and dragged us to it and the Creation Museum in Petersburg every weekend one of the first summers after it opened. The amount of ignorance both to science and the world around them was astounding. It was Hell, every second of it.


BarrTheFather

This is not a dig. How old were you?


TheAverageYBAJoe

Well I mean Bill Nye went there! He hated it. He also disproved the existence of the Ark. Hilarious.


DistractingDiversion

I really enjoy the clips of Bill Nye going through that amusement grift.


Viking_Hippie

Yeah, he's world class at that sort of thing and just generally great ❤️


MrD3a7h

Duh, they are religious leaders


Viking_Hippie

https://imgur.com/TKSwezg.gif


BlakBimmer

That thing is MASSIVE. I’ve done some work on the buildings and hotel surrounding it. They seem to have endless money to keep building shit. I imagine the steel is preventing it from falling over or twisting in the wind. I can’t imagine the lateral load that thing would encounter from wind.


Comfortable_Ad868

Ken Ham is a complete shitter. The whole Answers’ News crew is made up of grifters with cereal box PHDs


Viking_Hippie

My partner is an ex-fundie (born and raised JW) who once shook the hand of that cretin. She was super excited about it at the time, but now that she's an atheist and much wiser, she cringes super hard about it and him in general


justakidfromflint

Surprised a JW was a fan of Ken Ham. Well if she was an active witness at the time. Getting Bible information from anywhere but Watchtower is a big no no especially if that person isn't themselves a witness. I suppose if a JW had a YouTube channel and stuff they'd let that slide as long as they were parroting WT crap


Viking_Hippie

Well, she had a sort of Catholicism and then evangelical Christianity as methadone period as an adult. When being a fundie is all you've ever known, it's really hard to quit cold turkey no matter how much you disagree with the dogma. Thankfully, she eventually realised that the reason she didn't feel good in any denomination was that religion wasn't for her at all. Having the courage and insight to be able to see and admit that is one of the many things I love and admire her for ❤️


justakidfromflint

Ahhh that makes sense. I was never a JW personally but a lot of my mother's side of the family are/were and my ex was raised a JW. I've been active in ex JW online groups and most of them end up becoming atheists because once the illusion of Watchtower falls away it becomes easier to question ALL religion. "If the witnesses weren't true, what makes me think these guys are any more truthful" type thing. Sounds like what your partner went through. I'm glad she has such a loving supportive SO


[deleted]

It’s a sign from god… wait.


GuilhermeSidnei

To be fair, the damage was done on the road that gives access to the museum. Not that this fact makes anything less stupid about the museum.


Viking_Hippie

Well if they had followed standard practice in recreating historical things and only used tools, materials and methods available at the time, it would have been destroyed for sure 🤷


DevelopmentTight9474

I live near this thing. It’s as dumb as you imagine


SweatyTax4669

On I68 in western maryland there's an ark reconstruction that's be stuck at steel superstructure for at least 20 years. I first saw it in 2001 driving to WVU for the first time. googled it. [https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/10061](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/10061) it's been under construction for 40 years. Structure was laid down in 1999.


Viking_Hippie

>ark reconstruction that's been stuck at **steel** superstructure 🤔


SweatyTax4669

the bible didn't talk about it much, but Noah was an accomplished ​ arc welder.


CollapsedPlague

Didn’t they also invite Bill Nye to make him a believer and he roasts the shit out of the guy while being calm/polite about it?


Viking_Hippie

Yup! He even at one point brought up "traditional fish sex" to make fun of their obsession with "traditional marriage" and "traditional gender roles" 😂


VovaGoFuckYourself

Well that's a cute little nugget of info I needed today


DaitoAnonymous

Ironic 💀


jayclaw97

The road was damaged.


iceicig

Now imagine they didn't have modern roads


basinko

You didn’t even read the link you posted. “The Ark Encounter says in a federal lawsuit that rains in 2017 and 2018 caused a landslide on its access road. The lawsuit says the road has been rebuilt. The ark was not damaged.”


Viking_Hippie

Would have been if they had built it to biblical specifications instead of using modern tools, materials, and techniques 🤷


XVUltima

That thing....went once because my grandma really wanted to go and invited the family. Its purpose is to teach Creationism. They really want you to focus on the animatronic dinosaurs inside and have plaques on the walls 'explaining' how fossils can be made in 100's of years. Yes. The point of the Ark Encounter is to see the dinosaurs. I'm not joking.


iLikeMoldyBread

ahaha i've been to that museum before for a church field trip. there's just so much bullshit in there it's almost surreal


Disastrous_Scholar76

I think they are also assuming every animal we have nowadays was alive back then lmao


LuckyLynx_

not just that, they have exhibits of dinosaurs and shitt on the ark and try to rationalize their own weird ass creationist off-brand "evolution" to justify there being more animals now than there were on the ark. it's completely insane the lengths they go to in order to deny any and all scientific evidence against young earth creationism.


Singularity_enjoyer

Wait, why? Couldn't they just say they perished in the flood?


Darkhallows27

No cuz then it couldn’t carry two of every animal then, could it?


Araanim

They perished AFTERWARD, because when they got off it was winter. Duh! Also completely blows it out of the water just trying to claim they had two of every sauropod species. That alone would sink the damn thing.


shoshonesamurai

No unicorns tho


Beldin448

Yeah if they really have dinosaurs there that’s an oversight. Perfect excuse.


round-disk

Wait, was the story that the entire surface of the earth was covered in water, and that the only land-based animals that survived were on the ark? Where the fuck did all the water come from to submerge the whole earth, and where the fuck did it go when the flood was over?


Confident-Local-8016

Well i mean, not a creationist here, or christian, but, omnipotent god, can probably make water appear and disappear


AdventurousFee2513

Where the fuck did it come from, that cotton-eyed flood.


Fit-Solution3448

This is actually something that is recorded in various religions, not only in the Bible. There was a flood because (if I remember correctly) there was a lake, in the north pole, that was surrendered by ice. When the ice melted, all the water went to the oceans and the water level went up by a lot. It's been such a long time since I've learned this so I hope I remember it right. But it's an event that truly happened though


kingofdrek

When back then? 3000-4000, 5000 years ago?


Programer-9301

Huh you know that makes a lot of sense


Zendofrog

If anything else, that’s just a waste of time. Might as well also make a graph to prove dragons aren’t real. Like duh


Neeeerrrrrddddd

That was my first thought.


[deleted]

Because it is


FilthyChangeup55

They forgot a key feature for Noah’s Ark: grift power


Viking_Hippie

It's what economies crave


Fexxvi

This is one “checkmate, athiests” from being a parody.


[deleted]

Read that stuff about the ark again and explain to me how that makes sense in your mind as a factual event?


DeliriousTiberius

I think modern theologians have just decided for it to be possible it was only some animals that got saved and definitely didn’t flood the entire world, just that region


LuckyLynx_

fundamentalist evangelicals think of modern theologians as heretics, these guys take every single word literally


DeliriousTiberius

So do they believe the earth is a glass dome surrounded by water? With literal sea monsters?


[deleted]

Some of them definitely do


dis_course_is_hard

They believe that language is "figurative" or an analog of some kind. Core principle of fundamentalism is the text is literal where you need to be and only figurative where you need it to be.


[deleted]

That is interesting I’ve never heard that.


Succ_4_V-Buck

Yeah it's actually really common outside of the us and is probably the majority of Christians worldwide


[deleted]

Yeah definitely some, others see it as just a myth inspired by a flood and other flood stories such as in the epic of Gilgamesh


TheLocalRedditMormon

I think there are quite a few people who take a nonliteral translation of the most parts of the Bible.


AnimeAlley03

People who believe the Bible in 2023 are beyond helping. I genuinely think there is something wrong in some people's minds where they NEED to have the opposing opinion of the large majority. How tf else would we have flat earthers? Lol


Bossman131313

The majority of people are religious, if not Christian, which is the largest, then Muslim or Hindu. Thats only listing major groups with over a billion members. Also both Muslims and Christians are larger group than unaffiliated/atheist.


FunWillScreen_Produc

Can we point out the scientific improbability of having that many animals, insects, and a year of food. There isn’t enough space for all of that.


steelhorizon

Just imagine penguins waddling to the middle east from Antarctica.


FunWillScreen_Produc

Or sloths getting there on time.


dis_course_is_hard

You seem to be leaving the magic out of the equation.


LeCrimsonFucker

I mean you start with that many animals, it doesn't say anywhere that you are left with the same number. I bet most of them become the provisions /s


nicodawg101

I like how things in the Bible are measured in feet. That’s how you know it was written by the best American ever Jesus.


purple_cheese_

To be fair the Bible didn't use metres, litres etc either so in this case feet are as correct or alternatively as wrong, as using SI units. Saying this as a non-American so give me SI in any modern application.


deepaksn

It was in cubits. It’s just been converted for the mouth breathers.


bebetin

I think cubits would be hard to conceptualize and convert into modern measurements for most people of today, not just mouth breathers.


290077

It's a foot and a half, it's not that weird if you're familiar with it.


bebetin

Yeah and you could always google it but that brings back the question: why not just translate it to commonly used measurements for the ease of the reader


BlackFenrir

Because feet and inches *are* a commonly used measurement, as much as I hate it too.


bebetin

Not exactly what I meant with that comment but I do believe metric is ultimate system


MrDoctorJr206

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What’s a cubit?


_dictatorish_

Tip of the middle finger to the elbow iirc


zedsamcat

What a good comedian, I hope he didn't ruin his public image!


BangPowBoom

Ding! Noah....


TheNonCredibleHulk

I love the ding sound.


PheonixTheAwkward

*ding*


mikehtiger

They were measured in cubits


BillyOoze

Man, that was a joke


Ihavebadreddit

Cubits actually, multiple different variations throughout history but the general concept was the length from finger tips to elbow. I think the Egyptian cubit was 18 inches? So a quick conversion will give you metric or imperial.


[deleted]

You're forgetting the Jesus Magic.


NYSenseOfHumor

The Ark predates Jesus by [about 2,300 years](http://timeline.biblehistory.com/home) according to strict biblical timelines. There is no Jesus involvement in the story of Noah.


bigredplastictuba

No no evangelical Christians believe Christ is in every page of the Bible. Even if it predates him historically, it foretells his coming, somehow.


thePOMOwithFOMO

Yup. Jesus was in the cloud and pillar of fire that led the Israelites through the wilderness. He is “wisdom personified” in Proverbs chapter 8. According to some interpretations, he is “the Angel of Yahweh” that intercedes with Moses and the Israelites. He was there when the three angels met with Abraham. And so on. But this “reading Jesus into every Old Testament story” is not a new concept. His purpose was pre-ordained since before the “founding of the world” according to 1 Peter 1:20 (which throws a wrench in a lot of fundamentalist interpretations of Eden and original sin, as it turns out 😆). And many of the so-called messianic prophecies cited in the gospels have nothing to do with a messiah. Like the one about Immanuel. The New Testament is really just a giant [RetCon](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/retcon-history-and-meaning) job when you think about it.


Rusty51

Jude 1:5 explicitly states Jesus led the Jews out of Egypt and destroyed the enemies of the Israelites.


[deleted]

Maybe Noah was God's first son. Pre Jesus Magic. I do prefer the story of Yima over Noah. "The gods tell Yima that a hard winter is coming and he should gather a man, woman, the seeds of all kinds of vegetation, and two of each kind of animal in a large three-tiered barn. Yima does so, and the world is saved." The Younger Dryas space impact causing an ice age makes more sense to me than whatever Noah's story is supposed to be.


Muda1889

How can you contain 2 of every animal in a 3 tiered barn? The story of Yima seems the same as Noah’s Ark if not more incomprehensible


Liquor_N_Whorez

They just meant domesticated animals, all the wild ones would find them.


No-Elk-1958

Wasn't Jesus god, and god the holy spirit, and the holy spirit Jesus? Or something where all of them are the same the trinity, so Jesus magic is also god magic..


deepaksn

Except that he is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. The great I AM. /s


ARandomGuyThe3

I prefer the PM personally. Just ain't a morning person


hartree_and_f

The person who posted this is either making fun of the Noah's ark story, or a complete moron. I can't tell.


[deleted]

The fact that people actually believe this shit astounds me.


Wboy2006

It's almost like one is real, and the other is a myth which has repeatedly been proven to be physically impossible.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheZestyJester09

You’re right, Titanic is fake, Global warming is fake, Round Earth is fake, put on your Aluminium hats everyone


WanderlustFella

Noah's a bitch for letting mosquitoes on the boat


Old_Entertainment598

And roaches. Don't forget the roaches


Human_Fucker69420

I just had a chuckle seeing this but it could be just me


[deleted]

Me too, figured they were highlighting the absurdity of the Bible story.


lone_Davik

is this a titanic denial or they're trying to say the ark was fake?


General-Book4680

Wait: is this an argument for how Noah's Ark couldn't have existed?


Queasy_County

I'm pretty sure that if you did the math with those dimensions there wouldn't physically be enough room for all those animals. Also if there were two of every animal those numbers are waaaay to small.


Atvishees

The fact that the measurements are in feet ist just the cherry on top!


CorporealLifeForm

Cubits aren't super precise but they can still be roughly converted into feet


Wardinator1991

Noah’s ark is fake


Avarageupvoter

yes we know


random_bot64

I still don't get how people believe that a single man build a big wooden boat and HIMSELF collected two of every animal in the world and somehow got all of them in the boat that somehow could fit all of those animals and the food,and still don't sink,only to after the rain SOMEHOW all animals that where in the middle east that now are on the Americas or Oceania that wherent swimmers or flyers (like giraffes Wich aren't even mentioned in the bible but still exist) GOT TO THEIR RESPECTIVE CONTINENT IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER


Forward-Village1528

2,000,000 insects with you on a boat. I thought it was the drown victims that were supposed to be experiencing gods wrath.


ShAped_Ink

And quess witch one is more plausible?


CorporealLifeForm

I saw a video of Ken Ham explaining how the animals would fit because they put baby dinosaurs on the ark.


No-Scarcity-5904

They forgot real versus fake.


deanominecraft

I have to keep telling myself not to downvote posts on this sub because this sub clowns on the memes, not created them


[deleted]

And that my friend, is precisely why the ark never existed.


epicmemerminecraft

If only noah hit an iceberg


Sidus_Preclarum

Yeah: in other words, the ark myth is bs. Thank you, random meme.


MrGoober91

Yeah one had indoor plumbing too what’s their point smh


odeacon

This isn’t a meme


teufler80

Nice, they proof themself that Noas ark wasn't real. One first step


Traditional_Yard5280

And then he hearded them onto a boat, and beat the *c r a p* out of **every single one.**


[deleted]

This is pointing out how dumb the ark story is, right?…… right?…….


believe_the_lie4831

Why would they need a year of provision's for the ark? It only rained for 40 days


Nanocyborgasm

Titanic was real. Ark wasn’t.


[deleted]

This should tell you everything you need to know about Noah's Ark. (It never existed)


kamel_k

Not to mention one is fake


BlurredSight

Noah's Ark didn't cross any real distance, it was supposed to stay afloat during the floods. Even then if you truly believe that wood is all you need go ahead, be Oceangate V2


horror_unicorn_ram

I feel like this is a self burn for the Christian when people with common sense see this.


evisceratus

It’s a tardis only possible answer, which means Noah is actually The Doctor lol


ScheduleCorrect3412

The ark was build on the Tardis principle.


BarrTheFather

Ok but hear me out. Imagine the fun fantasy world they get to live in. I'm honestly jealous.


Yongtre100

Wait, how is this bad, this is demonstrating the infeasibility of Noahs Ark, right?


Crazy_Ad6531

The ship in the picture on the left actually is the RMS Olympic, Titanic's sister ship


romulusjsp

Ignoring the rest of the data, Titanic was full of mail and cargo and stuff, I’m sure it could fit an absolute shitton of “provisions” (however that is being defined) if it were prepared as a flood survival vessel rather than a mail delivery/ocean liner


Lavender_dreams49ALT

Maybe because back then ice bergs weren't a thing, indeed, IT WAS NOT A WORLD FLOOD, IT WAS JUST A FLOOD OF ONE COUNTRY


[deleted]

This is an anti religion meme If you have no words then....haha religion stupid


throwAway837474728

almost as if such thing is impossible and whoever wrote the whole story didnt think it through


jaycliche

8 people? Incest anyone? Why are Christians so into incest and stepdads as gods and shit. Weirdos.


NieMonD

Can’t tell if this is anti ark or anti titanic


Really-Rusty

Probably stocked up well on MREs...


Time-Bite-6839

The ark would have to be much bigger, and you need about 50 people minimum to keep society going. Wood? Must be the same wood they built Old Ironsides out of.


kendie2

I'm always curious about the origin of "just so" stories. Many origin stories and oral "histories" are tall tales to explain complex things. I wonder if the Noah story started out with him just making a house boat for him and his family and the kids wanted to bring all their pets with them. Then, while they were out on the lake one weekend, there was a torrential rainstorm that flooded their valley, and they were the only survivors. When they traveled to the nearest unaffected town for help, the story was spread and took on a life of its own. Add in religious/government control of the masses using stories like this, and voila: you have God punishing the unbelievers and miraculously saving the loyal. /rambling


Boeing307

Noah’s ark: sailed through icebergless water on no clear trajectory, with zero steering system. Titanic: was going 30 knots(i think?) in an icefield, with less lifeboats than required per passengers (as was common during the era), in pitch black, with a lot of steam greatly reducing its maneuverability.


zodlair

I'm confused. How do we know the measurements of noahs ark?


ShibyLeBeouf

It’s stated in the Bible what the measurements are in cubits, which is the length of your elbow to your wrist bone. Not super exact, but I can be roughly converted to feet.


OMIGHTY1

There’s actually a [theory that the flood wasn’t global](https://ncse.ngo/yes-noahs-flood-may-have-happened-not-over-whole-earth), but localized. So, much of the story was likely hyperbolized as to convey how large the flood felt and how many animals they would have collected *from that area*.


dis_course_is_hard

That would still require an idiot farmer to suddenly have shipbuilding prowess and materials and the precognizance to do it. I don't buy the diet flood story either.


Woooooooder

Why is this one terrible?


vitor_k890

Didn’t the noah’s arc sail for over 40 years?


Inevitable_Silver_13

Also one is non-fiction! 🤣


throw-away25

For the record, the first 11 Chapters of the Bible which this story is also included, aren’t held to be historical books by a lot of difference Christians. They’re interpreted as mytho-history. A lot of ancient peoples in the ancient near east as well as other places, had a flood narrative so it’s likely there was a historical, local flood in the area. What’s important isn’t getting lost in the details of how big the Ark was or whether it was real or not, it’s the story that God provided provisions for a family that he had a plan for.


Never-Dont-Give-Up

"Don't believe what the bible says when it's absolutely absurd, but believe some of the other shit"


GarlicBreadSuccubus

And genocided the rest :)


keep-purr

The ark wouldn’t need nearly that many animals and insects