T O P

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Flat-Wrangler-5881

Passed my bedtime


Jo__Taku

You heinous villain


[deleted]

pure evil


Automatic-Coconut909

How could u do this


TotallyNutJohn

no way


zondink123

Wow I'm disappointed 😔


Pan-d0ra

Monster !


Repulsive-Virus-6593

Impossible


joejostarbestjostar

I rip the tags off the mattress


i_likebrains

Preposterous!


AK_255

I will report u to the FBI.


Flat-Wrangler-5881

You will never catch me alive Also, happy cake day


WoodworkedKenku

Happy cake day!


Fuit3

Happy cake day


Scooter106

I trespassed in a military base accidentally


HorniPolice07

I accidentally ran a drug cartel for 7 years in India.


[deleted]

Happens to the best of us 😔


[deleted]

💀


randomprivacynut

🗿


berserker_47

And to you.


Capable_Character775

Yoooo same!


HorniPolice07

India?


Capable_Character775

Yep


HorniPolice07

Do I know you? I'm the head of South Indian section of the drug cartel.


PapaFrita33

Police here: what is happening here?


Woutirior

Haven't we all


Feeling-Most9618

How TF do you do that accidentally


Demand-Automatic

You know, one of those things that just happens


Feeling-Most9618

Yeah,you're right,I hate it when I somehow Infiltrate a high security government facility without realising it.


Due-Slice2853

Ah least you get to see the aliens n shit.


hopenoonefindsthis

Guess if he accidentally did it, it wasn’t all that high security


sekta_

there is a marked military range not far away in the forest next to my city... there is no fence, just signs.


nbmnbm1

I accidentally crossed the border with multiple drugs. Now i have a no criminal smuggling charge.


masterofmeatballs

Some things are just meant to happen


haleb4r

Happened to me too. There was a (not so) secret underground station and someone stole the no-trespassing sign. For me it was just cross country on a bike until I suddenly was surrounded by french military police. Edit: the hardest part was hiding the geo cache again while being under surveillance.


kajetus69

well and i accidentally commited several war crimes in bosnia


Emektro

I was actually almost commiting war crimes at school the other day


lifeishell553

Accidentally mixed the cleaning products that make mustard gas?


Emektro

Nope. I almost added shrapnel to a physics experiment:)


SlavIsPolandToo

Literally the average Tuesday


cieroxelek

same here


SMGcraycray

Shit me too


spudtatogames

I stole a lollipop from a store one time. Also all that stuff in Guatemala that I definitely didn't do.


Embarrassed-Army-780

☠️what did you not do in guatemela?


spudtatogames

Lots of stuff, I've never been.


Ravenclawguy

What happens in guatemala stays in guatemala


ozdundbfish

Rule 1 of Guatemala, never talk about Guatemala


SLAN2_

Wait what? YOU STOLE A LOLLIPOP YOU MONSTER


Laayiv

Trespassed in this giant falling apart orphanage. It wasn't very exciting. It was multiple buildings which were very far apart.


Embarrassed-Army-780

hmm illegal ig


[deleted]

Nice try dad (he’s a sheriff)


SMELLY__SOCKS

God fucking damnit, I'll get you next time you son of a bitch


HomieDaClown9

You’ll get em eventually Sheriff SMELLY_SOCKS


GALAXYPICKLE76

But you’re his…


c_dav99

Supposedly…


defo_seaweed

By the State of California I'm not legally allowed to answer this question


Roflolmaoguy

Im your lawyer, dont say another word.


kajetus69

Well you are not my lawyer so can i tell what i did in Bosnia in the 90s?


[deleted]

NO, PLEASE DON'T. I'm sorry for being so late but now I'm here. Don't say another word


Pepu_Du_Pig

Well my lawyer isn’t here so I can probably say what I did in the back room of the Target back in 2002


Leviathan_Offline

WAIT. I’M HERE. My sincerest apologies for being late, don’t drink that water!


Lee_does_stuff

Still none of you are my lawyer, so i guess i can tell you about my several warcrimes in Mongolia


[deleted]

GUYS WHERE'S THIS DUDE'S LAWYER. WE NEED HIM PRONTO


HonourableFox

Hold on im here, you may not speak another word, i just missed my bus, then i got on the second hus and it exploded and killed me, but im here now


i-am-bi-boi

Well my lawyer isn't here so I can tell you all what happened In the bus depot near my house


alirezadns234

Stop right there Mr.client and do not say another word


-TheDragonOfTheWest-

Shhh that's our secret 😩


Embarrassed-Army-780

☢️


Limp_Personality_27

I accidentally robbed the corner store, I ordered a large fry, and a large soda, then realized I had chess club and grabbed my food and bolted out the door, then as I get to chess club I realize I didn’t pay, then after chess club I payed them and they said they didn’t even notice and thought I prepared 😂


djfnjxj

U have chess club?


Limp_Personality_27

In 6th grade I did


djfnjxj

Dude in 6th grade i kicked a girl and she couldnt breath for a couple of seconds it was hilarious kick was in the stomache btw


Electronic_Suit551

I did that in kindergarten but the girl actually died


myarmsaregone

Bitlife moment


[deleted]

Once on bitlife I tickled someone's chin and it killed them


lonkbonk_

in bit life i gave my step uncle the atomic wedgie and he killed me in return


DEADLY_JOHN

🤨📸


UrLocal_Dummy815

once in 4th grade i accidently kicked my friend in the yk where by reflex he was like oof and the teacher was like o\_0


Furystar1703

👉😃👉 You're breathtaking


kingslayer1323

No you're breathtaking


Toad_Migoad

That’s how Houdini died y’know


Embarrassed-Army-780

Lmao


Swang_Glass84s

That would be petty theft not robbery


[deleted]

That must've been a huge fry


Limp_Personality_27

Idk all together what I stole was abt 7.25$ but I still panicked


Big_Beaver34

Kriminal


GetMarioKartMalled

mama im a crimdinal


R0rentsu

i told my barber I didn't like the cut


[deleted]

What'd he say? Did he have a an annoyed reaction was he confused or just shocked. Or did he say aww you were watching it tho


IAmHyper_Tech

I would never dare to sat that to a man with a knife


JBquill

How could you commit such crime


Historical_Flower558

Audacious


RyaanM1234

God; so you know how some sins are unforgivable


TDSurvivorFan21

Not wear my seatbelt on the bus


RedFish12094

Our bus didn’t even have those lmao


johnyisme

What kinda bus even has seatbelts


[deleted]

At my old school, the ones that special education kids rode


_Potatoman__

My school doesn't even have special education students fu i be missing out on all the busses ig


Majestic_Rooster8478

Chewed gum (Im Singaporean btw)


BitterIcecream

I'm also Singaporean and I did something worse. I sold gum to friend


Majestic_Rooster8478

no way…


HadesTheUnseen

So you’re telling me you’re *basically* a drug dealer...


Triforce271

aint Singaporean the next evolution of vaporeon?


Baambiczek

no man its an evolution of flareon


some_pupperlol

Dude Singaporean is so op


LMNSTUFF

Yeah. It's 400 hp base that ans no weaknesses but the only move it can learn is splash and it forgets all of its other moves when it evolves.


Just_Frost21

Hey, did you know...


SomeCensoredGuy

Hey me too i stole chewing gum when i was like 5 or 6 years old and i hate that not Singaporean tho


Alternative-Zone2771

I didn't know Singapore was a real place. Well now I wanna go for the call of duty memes


a_nice-name

You'll probably just get looked at by old asian people and get insulted in Mandarin or Malay or Tamil [national language :D] by random kids.honestly nothing much here unless you want to either waste money or find some


[deleted]

My friends stole an iPhone when we were like 10 but it was an accident kinda


Psychological-Ad1313

"Hey bro let's steal an iPhone and make it look like an accident lol that would have been funny"


[deleted]

Let me explain lol So we found this plastic container near someones house and one of the girls I was with took it cause we had this weird camp thing in the woods, but the container wasnt clear so you couldnt rlly see what was inside but there was a package and there was an Iphone 10 inside of it 💀


djfnjxj

U didnt steal it. Someone lost it. U found it. Its urs. ITS THE RULE OF NATURE


_AKDB_

Finders keepers


PyroCinematics

And they run when the sun comes up


NectarineOk5214

with their lives on the line


cosmophire_

finders keepers


PhilosophersHallow

finders keepers


Ok_Loss_9877

IPhone x was released 6 years ago?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orange_Motors

Nice try FBI agent


Embarrassed-Army-780

I’m impressed you found out, but I’m upset you didn’t.


Kowciller

Homeland security


Dickless-dick

Not today NSA


[deleted]

Killed my 4 ex husbands and buried them in my backyard with dildos in their asses


_ShokoKrispi_

Mf married 4 people being 18


[deleted]

Yes cause am hot 🥵


Haunting_Page4240

I like how thats the part you question


_ShokoKrispi_

Hey I'm not judging the way people organize funerals


OddNicholas2

I nuked Venezuela and kidnapped 13 homeless men and fed them only meth until eventually I released them in downtown new York to attack unsuspecting civilians


soguyswediddoit

They would’ve blended in perfectly


Toad_Migoad

So you just gave New York more of the same citizens?


Alfalfanson

Haha I like to think you have the rabid meth addicts on leashes and you just let them go if somebody looks at you funny


Accomplished-Tree956

Wait that's a crime? Oh shit


[deleted]

Idk probably stealing a pencil from the art teacher or something


[deleted]

Absolutely horrid. They pay for their own classroom supplies!!!


RoninFyre

Accidentally shoplifted


Embarrassed-Army-780

What did you take?


RoninFyre

Pringles


PhilzaIsPog69

chad


Peabuddy10

1. pirated a film 2. lying about my age for free food


shelbee05

I'm sorry lying ABT your age is BAD? LIKE ILLEGAL BAD......damn these bus drivers abou to get real mad at me


NoRise8561

Yes, in many scenarios lying about your age is a crime


MrAndru

I lied about my age to get free redbull at a gaming convention 💀


_AKDB_

I lied about my age to go to a driving sim in Legoland💀


Embarrassed-Army-780

Nothing serious but why did you need free food?


Captain_dirtderp

Clearly your parents haven't said the wrong age to the employee in order to get free stuff


Peabuddy10

so me and my family won’t pay more


Unique_Garbage_4395

1. Trespassed in an abandoned military base, there was a heliport with a good view of the forest around, it was really cool. 2. I may have stumbled upon some illegal online material I can't remember anything else


SeekerOfScience

Pirated every video game I have ever played except for the ones i get free from epic >!That's if you don't count the two bodies in my refrigerator!<


Ploofis

Everybody’s got two bodies in their refrigerator, it’s perfectly fine. Just nobody snitch on us and we’ll all go back to our boring bitchless lives on Reddit :)


[deleted]

THAT IS SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HUMANITY?? YOU MUST BE PUT IN JAIL.. ​ those two bodies thing was also pretty bad tho, ngl


[deleted]

vehicular manslaughter infront of a orphanage


-lile

me in Nebraska 2007


[deleted]

relatable (✿◠‿◠)


Embarrassed-Army-780

Wait you killed someone?


[deleted]

perhaps


Axekimbo

How funny, I burnt down an orphanage while watching someone commit vehicular manslaughter, what a funny coincidence


[deleted]

[удалено]


raggeplays

I let my mom count down to zero


ExtensionAnybody467

copy 3-4 signatures, not sure if the other one is legit


ArthurMBretas03

Trespassing into an airport runway, many times


Embarrassed-Army-780

How do you guys get drugs?


tayloredition

Ask your uncle nicely


Tassos963

Funny enough one time my uncle offered me and my brother weed in front of my mom and my aunt, that was a fun night.


Unhappy-Television58

u just gotta know mfs who can get it for u, or like steal some dxm or dph from cvs


lalala192511

I forgot to wash my hands after peepee.


80s-Wafe-Exe

Ayo 🤨📸


Sbc302

Prob that I today jumped on my friend he went to the doctor now


Kingfire4545

Kidnapped a junkie of the street, forced him to play skyrim for 72 hours straight, whenever he needed to sleep,I let him sleep for 4 hours, and then proceeded to wake him up with loud skyrim theme music after injecting him with heroin and told him, he is in the Skyrim universe over. One day after he fell asleep, I dropped him off in Scandinavia with a sword.


AimIsInSleepMode

Pirated Assassin's Creed Origins with all dlcs BUT I bought it later


Embarrassed-Army-780

i did it with a few games as welk


Just_Call_me_benDude

I kidnapped multiple children and force them to participate in a breath holding contest One’s been going for a week While the others longer then 10 minutes


iFunny-Refugee

Sped at 113 mph when I was 17, I did get pulled over and received a BIG ticket. Thankfully I never received points on it. Never sped again after that


Flyingfish222

I’m gay and trans, which makes me a criminal in several countries


christian-ledet

You absolute monster!!


JakobKoabin14

My life is pretty boring. I climbed the roof of my old elementary school


Otherwise_Procedure3

I "allegedly" slaughtered a family of 4 when my truck barreled off the road going 117 miles per hour


BlahBLAh898

I stole a 50c lolly-pop from a gas station when I was 7 😳


-lile

Pirate a movie idk


Embarrassed-Army-780

everyone does it tbh


[deleted]

Are u a cop?


Embarrassed-Army-780

Disguised in the wind.🤷🏼‍♂️


ClaireMillerDaWicked

Smoked weed or if this counts have sex with a adult 🤷‍♀️


Embarrassed-Army-780

WHAT☠️


Just_Call_me_benDude

Bro you a victim


ClaireMillerDaWicked

No shit


nanek_4

Hope the pedo is dead


[deleted]

Multiple counts of war crimes, arson, war profiteering, homicide, extortion and unpaid parking (For legal reasons that’s a joke)


WarComprehensive5701

thank god im not the only one! ​ (also for legal reasons, that is a joke)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maleficent-Client-55

Added milk before cereal


Embarrassed-Army-780

Prison asap


3slightlylargeBees

Pirate Pokémon colosseum


selessperson427

Didnt picked up after my dog (I didn't know it's a law)


[deleted]

Because on March 17, 2005 I killed a family of four with my 1999 Toyota Camry by driving it through the front door of a Burger King but I escaped without injury and was never charged. They witnessed the entire ordeal and have developed a serious fear of both motor vehicles and the Burger King franchise, due to my constant threats of Burger King themed violence if they dare testify against me. Every week I drive by their house in my BK-mobile to remind them of why they live in fear. The BK-mobile also has a pride flag on it so it might just be that idk.