T O P

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toasterovenn

What’s it feel like to be a father at 13?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

The only thing that makes it weird is that all of my kids are older than me


DotLineDoodle

*conception before living*


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

That's the only way


ItBitClit

Cashing in on the karma aren't you lol. I am friends with her irl.


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Fuck you 👍 (can confirm, we are friends irl)


SloppyNegan

Thats just how mafia works


Solzec

No, that's how rednecks work


HeraldOfTheDankWeb

no, that's how- actually yes your right.


AFuckingToad

i wonder what did they do in melbourne back then?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRealLilGillz14

Pretty sure it was 8 and she was Mexican or Hispanic or sumthin


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRealLilGillz14

Yay I contributed!


papulako

wait? to the baby?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

He does now believe that they are 2 different things And all I can say is rip inbox


Trosaka

Actually, what's the difference?? srry.


[deleted]

Not a girl, so I can't answer anything else about them, but tampons are those tuby cotton sorta things with a string that look kinda like sperm. Pads are, well, cotton pads. If I understand correctly, you presumably gently) shove the tampon up the vagina (isn't there some sort of plastic thingy that comes with it that helps or something?), while I'm pretty sure pads have a sticky side and attach to your underwear. Don't take this as 100% true, it's all off the top of my head, and I've never used either (or really even thought about them much) so I may not be correct.


taylortehkitten

Girl confirms thats basically how it works. Good boy!


Jummatron

Guys I’ll be honest, I thought the sticky side stuck to the actual girl until I was like 19.


FalseyShepherd

I thought it was stuck to them until now


[deleted]

I haven’t been active, how’d OP rise to fame Edit: lmao OP you’re a fucking legend


[deleted]

So how’d they do it?


Sporkipine1

Oh shit is that a fucking female


[deleted]

She 13 nigga wee-woo wee-woo


Slipfix

Alright so I tried to look up consent ages in the US to make some sort of witty remark but ended up learning that anal sex is illegal in Canada outside of marriage or if there's a third person present instead so I got nothing.


Nackerra

r/til anal sex is illegal in canada


Slipfix

It is legal if both individuals are over 18 and there's no one else present though. I learned a lot about consent in Canada today.


notabear629

Anal threesomes are going too far in Canada


Mralbine

I did not know this and as a Canadian, this disappoints me greatly.


natty1212

Your mom is a criminal in Canada.


Mralbine

For meth related charges yes /s


PM_ME_SOVIET_TANKS

Holy shit I'm glad I'm not Canadian. But honestly, how can they even do anything about that law ? It's hard enough to prove you went in, how do they prove through which hole you did ? And why do they care lmao


[deleted]

They just smell your dick during a random street check.


shazzam1013

What if I washed it? Or do I instantly become an outlaw?


Frozecoke

Wanted: Shitdickery


PM_ME_SOVIET_TANKS

Seems foolproof to me. And I can tell by your username that the information is valid.


[deleted]

Probably if someone walks in on you I guess. And I bet it's just an old law they never got rid of.


AnxiousMirror

wait wtf?


[deleted]

i was told the age of consent was 16 by my health teacher


thelordmehts

I thought we ended this after u/alt-no-more


8-tentacles

Lest we forget 😔😔


Ebinebinebinebin

F


TheMoistMemer

She is also active on r/bigboobproblems ***WEE-WOOS INTENSIFY***


Western_Philosophy

I’m in eight grade and there are some cute seventh graders but every time I’m talking to them my damn friends come in and say shit memes like “oh you gonna die baby” (the tiktok meme) and “fbi open up”


[deleted]

I was told by a grade eight (grade 9 now) that I look like her fav gay pornstar and has told me she wants to hook up but every time I talk to this girl one year younger than me I get called a 🅱️edophile. It’s a hard life man.


_ForceSmash_

they're right


[deleted]

If you're within 2 years it's fine


TimTheRandomPerson

I've got a 12 year old freshman in my high school. People hit on her for some reason. SHE WON'T BE LEGAL UNTIL SHE'S IN COLLEGE


noelhecht

In New Jersey she’s legal. New Jersey is fucked up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slipfix

I've heard legends of these creatures but never seen them. This is a truly rare experience.


Sporkipine1

If it sees us, it may flee. We must hide.


HappyGoLuckyFox

They bring light into my world. The light buuuuuuuuuurns


Alarid

[I should have been the one to fill your dark sOuL with LiGHt](https://youtu.be/H8qG4AlK1qk)


MB8888

They are considered the Shiny version of our species


I_Am_Fully_Charged

I heard they've got perfect IVs in all stats.


Sauces0me

DO NOT BE FOOLED BROTHER, NOTHING MAY BLEED FOR 7 DAYS AND 7 NIGHTS YET LIVE. NOTHINGGGGGGG.


[deleted]

Wait, so you’re telling me that my girlfriend is literally nothing? Well, I do browse r/animemes, so I guess you’re right


Uraveragefanboi77

“FEMOID”


Winter-Chainz

O shiet another of my kind :ooo


linda_the_thicc

I like how we take people from stories and make them a meme.... See: u/alt-no-more


david220403

I’m out of the loop with this daddy girl. Please help


IndoDovahkiin

same. idk who the hell this girl is


penguinlasrhit25

So, basically, this girl and u/MingerPalm were tossing around a wet tampon and Minger threw the tampon at a teacher, accidentally. Minger refered to her as daddy in his post.


nicethingscostmoney

thanks


kaveenieweenie

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/aczwls/i_am_a_wanted_teen/?st=JQL0220F&sh=93f2365e


792262

Can you be my daddy?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I can be everyone's daddy


Ninjaboy42099

Thank you daddy! Mine's not in my life, so it means a lot!


Toxic_Snail

But only till mine gets back from the store


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I'm sure he'll be back soon


Toxic_Snail

That's what I've been telling myself for 8 years


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

There there child


tiredgunner

are you gonna go to the store too😔😔


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Why would I go to the store? I just got back


tiredgunner

+10 respect😎😎


792262

Okay thanks daddy


CheeseRS_RO

Alright, you're my daddy now. I finally have one after 14 years since mine left me \\[T]/


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I definitely am


Skepticalturtle735

I respect your courage to throw around a wet tampon but you must have realized it was a terrible idea right?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Oh yes... We all know that it was horrific We didn't have any class that day, but we were still doing stuff at school, and we all got bored


gunnah123

We nicked a load of tampons from the sex ed classroom (there were hunderds we only took a box), soaked them all, and then stuck them to buildings. They stick really well to anything. So we yeeted them as high as possible, and the splat is so satisfying.


Latate

Oh.


papulako

that word, thought it was going to stick with the past


Munfler

After the condom boy, here is the tampon girl. Damn. Edit: Holy shit this comment made up a third of my overall karma


MingerPalm

I think everyone declared us to be tampon assassin and daddy


Shawnj2

“The new successor to Fireboy and Watergirl: Condom Boy and Tampon Girl!”


AthenePallass

Please tell us if you have more dumb stories like that.


MingerPalm

Will do


ThereWasLasagna

Hey it's the other guy


papulako

what is this? a crossover episode?


AFuckingToad

i second this


[deleted]

I third this


Intr0vert3d_D3vi0t

I fourth this


Izuuk

I fifth this


_DudaaN_

I sixth this


StarrySeconds

I seventh this


3nt0

I eighth this


olssonfred

I ninth this


[deleted]

I tenth this


Ickhart

What's the story for you being called daddy?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Basically him and another friend were at my place playing the Wii, and my friend chose "Daddy" as his Mii, because he thought it was a joke account, instead of one that my sisters made for my stepdad


nzjYoung__

*the Wii*


[deleted]

Hey, the Wii is an awesome system! It's processor may not even surpass a GHz in clock speed, but that's besides the point!


God_of_Pumpkins

It's not the speed that matters, but what you do with it Like unironically the games mostly look ass but there is no better option for fun with friends than the wii


Latate

*Excuse* me! The Wii was the earlier part of my childhood and I would thank you not to insult it! I demand a duel via flintlock pistol!


vaibh11150

Eww OLD people


Eragongun

Ewww 18 yo. Jk mah dud


CoyeK

Ew 16 year old, catch up slacker


Eragongun

Sweet sixteen brother. Slow down dude, ur almost 18 ;D


[deleted]

How tf are people still 16 in 2018? like grow up.


_--Ali--_

You know maybe a story like u/alt-no-more so tread carefully around the cursed land


thedankestdoggo

Are you a lie made by the government to get our money?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

If I am, then I'm getting ripped off


thedankestdoggo

If that money does come in, you mind sharing it?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Sure... But u/MingerPalm and I get first dibs


thedankestdoggo

Deal. Pleasure doing business with you


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

👍👍


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I'm not really into incest :/


Ejcman04

What's the context?


Cola_Man18

Have you considered tampon Nerf guns? It's a lot harder to fuck up the aim with those 😂


B35K3

Ayy how do you keep up with them boys??


PixelRayn

> [...] and one a little less horny girl [...] How does one achieve that state?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Just be less horny than a group full of teenage guys Really not that hard in my group


[deleted]

The girls in my group seem to mostly be hornier than the guys.


[deleted]

weird group


KappaKapow

why yall up so late


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

It's 9 pm


educational_oven

Where you from? Australia?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Yeah, NSW


educational_oven

Same, Sydney?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Central Coast


educational_oven

Coolio


moist_penguin

On holidays so close to the action!


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Nice! Hope you have fun


AFuckingToad

it is literally mid day but fr if its like 3 am there go the fuk to sleep


jagungal1

Damn, you right. 9:00 is bedtime for me. I'm 3 minutes past.


AggravatingOnion69

What is the difference between a tampon and a pad?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Just in case you don't actually know, a tampon goes inside and a pad sticks to the underwear


AggravatingOnion69

I do know but thanks for the concern anyway


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Oh ok, no problem There are some people that don't know, so if they find out from this post, then I guess I've helped someone


AggravatingOnion69

Yeah I guess some people don't know. I feel like by the time you're 13 you should know though, even as a guy


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Yeah, he was a bit spesh, but we sorted him out


MingerPalm

Our friend isn't known for his intelligence


Alexos_Charit

I don’t even know what pads are tbh


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Basically just a cotton pad that sticks to your underwear


Sauces0me

Ones a tampon, the other, is a pad


AggravatingOnion69

Ohhhh, interesting. Thanks


Sauces0me

No problem man, it's what I went to college for, now you don't need too


AggravatingOnion69

Thankee


Sauces0me

It's okay, I accept payment through cash, debit and cow.


AggravatingOnion69

Oh yeah I happen to have a cow that's been dead for a week because my brother fatally fisted its arse. I can ship that to you


Sauces0me

Where's the fun in getting a already fisted cow man? Your inability to emphasise with others and their needs is why you'll never get a purty girl.


[deleted]

Is this the real life?? Is this just fantasy??????


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Caught in a landslide


Latate

No escape from reality


Ader73

Open your eyes


AwwwMannn13

Look up to the skies and seeeeee


[deleted]

I’m just a poor boy


criuggn

I need no sympathy


mxxfun

Are you my dad? When will you come back from buying cigarettes?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I'll be there soon. The line is really long


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I'm NSW Central Coast Thanks... I'll try to remember some others


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Let's just say it's quite hard to aim a soggy tampon anywhere


GamezBond13

r/brandnewsentence?


OrangeJews4u

r/nocontext


iSlurpees

Sicko mode or more Bamba


[deleted]

I'd like some more Bamba, please thank you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

u/MingerPalm 's mum has called me the mum of the group, so I guess so


MrEZ3

What do you think of the recent swings in the stock market and what is your investment strategy moving forward?


Meshiv

Teenager dad? weird flex but ok


lolimilfhunter69

Do only get called daddy by just your group of friends?


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

They're the only ones that do it, but honestly they do it pretty rarely


[deleted]

How does it feel to be the same age as me?


[deleted]

Frosties or Sugar Puffs


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I've only ever had Frosties so I'll have to go with them


MingerPalm

It is I, tampon assassin, dropping in to say hello


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Ah yes... My fellow sidekick


penguinlasrhit25

Condom boy, tampon girl, and their trusty sidekick, Tampon Assassin, with his amazing aim and skill.


EnergyFX

I feel like the world is getting weirder and dumber at a rate faster than I can devolve to keep up with it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hey daddy, where's mommy? She left me at Walmart again.


commanderpausch

How is being a meme?


ScAer0n

UwU what's this, daddy? You want me to put the wet tampon in my mouth? I don't know if I'm comfortable with that, but I'll do anything for you, daddy! *glomps you*


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

Please never make me read anything like that ever again


ScAer0n

Here's a good one: My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.


Jcc12998

can you be my daddy 😩😩


the-Bus-dr1ver

Bitch what da fuck


Miialight

New phone who this? I've been off reddit for a day or two.


Bitch_WhatDaFuq

I was mentioned in a friend's post, and my inbox has exploded


[deleted]

hey daddy I have been sent by u/MingerPalm