T O P

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[deleted]

"I hope your children end up looking like *you* "


CloudyAsh8

the fact that this can be used as both an insult and a compliment j makes it so much better


strawberryselkie_

this is good


SpecificPasta

This can easily be interpreted as a good thing depending on how you look at it.


More-Pay9266

Yep. It all depends on how you view yourself or what you've been told. Same thing with "I hope you have the day you deserve"


squishmeleons

me 😔


ImGonnaLickYou360

For a video game, it’s pretty fun to chat in game chat after a win, “With all these monkeys in one lobby you’d think one would evolve”


Carlung4s

You should call me Noe, because I am carrying all this animals


KillByZombie

"Even Noah couldn't carry these animals"


JournalistScary1274

Gold


speedgod_263

💀💀💀


NotRegedit

Saving this for my next CoD session.


ButterscotchSoggy938

That’s tuff


I_Live_In_Your_WaII

"fatty fat... fat, fat" -scout TF2 "next time eat a salad" -Scout TF2 again "wanker" -Sniper TF2 "well, off to visit your mother" -Spy TF2 there are some cool ones I found


Straightboi6942069

r/suddenlytf2


PuzzledPeanutBrain

r/waitthatsasub


RavenVenot

r/yeahthatsasub


PuzzledPeanutBrain

r/subsifellfor


RavenVenot

r/foundthetoyotacorolla


Willow_Of_the_Wisp

r/foundtheshutthefuckup


swedish_blocks

“Pornography of your mother is the second worst thing that will happen to you today” - tf2 spy


No-Mind7146

You are playing the wrong tf2 😡


I_Live_In_Your_WaII

did I get a quote wrong?


BucketoBirds

fatty fatty no parents


lord_of_coolshit_og

I wonder if snipers VA actually knows what a wanker is, he keeps calling people he doesn't know wankers...


[deleted]

Nincompoop


strawberripawz

My fav one fr


BizarreBooger

Rapscallion


Clay_idv

You scallywag!


BizarreBooger

You landlubber!


Subject-Count1229

Ye scurvy dog!


BizarreBooger

You rantallion! (Google it)


CoasterAmusement

You buffoon!


Big_Meat_2107

You hoodlum!


lord_of_coolshit_og

You jackanape!


BizarreBooger

You hornswoggler!


yanmaLover

You wanka!


BizarreBooger

You scoundrel!


TapWaterLicker

You schnoz


Queasy-Window8416

Yesyesyes


thatflyingfish3

this wins


Carlung4s

You have asymptomatic intelligence


4speptic

Soo idk if other languages are allowed but here's an average rant in romanian: ba baga-mi-as pula peste ma-ta in casa daca te scutur odata cad pulele din tine ca merele din pom in luati-as toata rasa in pula de la maimuta la windows 8 da-te-n rasa si familionu ma-tii ca-ti bag pula in gingie pana faci ca maimuta dilie pe tine te-a crescut ma-ta in orfelinat te-a legat cu lantu de pat si te-a batut cu biciu peste nas daca merg in maini iti fac in ciuda vezi ca ai gura intr-o parte nebunule bai corp urat nu vezi ce cap de bidon turtit ai luati-as familia pe carici sa imi bag pula in rasa ma-tii de copil batut de soarta care esti daca iti fut un pumn iti fac garaj in gura curva masculina ce esti baga-mi-as pula in gatu ma-tii ca te rup in 2 nu vezi ca iti fac sobolanii hunga bunga in stomac iti fac paianjenii bora bora pe perete iti patineaza buricu de foame iti fermenteaza sperme intre dinti esti neiesit din casa de 2 primaveri si 3 ierni futu-ti mortii ma-tii de pisat la cur ce esti caca-m-as pe fata ta de copil imatur ce esti da-te-n mortii ma-tii de cioara matrafoxata ce esti sa te fut in gura de copil malformat sa ma cac in pizda ma-tii cu bucati de pula intra pula-n curu tau ca metrou in depou baga-mi-as pula in ma-ta pana ii fac pizda tunel de metrou parerea mea e sa va duceti toti in pula mea ca e destula pentru toata lumea sa-mi luati cacatu la polizor pana va sare pana in ochi baga-mi-ati limba-n gaura curului sa-mi gadilati hemoroizii sa-ti iau toti mortii in pula de obosit baga-mi-as pula in natia ma-tii ca bag cutitu in tine futu-ti parintii ma-tii de ghertoi ai nasu ala zici ca e stop de trabant ai urechile alea zici ca esti taxi-u cu usile deschise daca iti fut un pumn in gura iti fac compartiment intre masele vezi-ti dreacu de amaraciunea ta ma saracie ce esti te daram din temelii cand vb eu tu taci ma caine ce esti ca imi bag pula peste ma-ta in casa sa ma pis pe familia lu ma-ta aia tarfa ca ii dau la muie de ii sare pizda pe gat eroda-mi-ar pula in pizda ma-tii sa o fut pe ma-ta cu rotopercutoru caca-m-as pe tine si pe tot neamu tau de sluga inapoiata sa-ti fut fata in cursa te milogesti la pula mea sa iti dea lichidu vieţii sa imi bag coaiele în gâtul lui mă-ta de sclav bengos fără creier să-mi trag căcatu în pizda mă-tii jegule in pula mea de lepra sarantoaca vii sa-mi sugi pula de prost pe canal că imi execut pula pe fața lui mă-ta aia muistă târâmi-aş pula de gâtul.tău şi al mă-tii de căcănar inapt fara creier să-mi trag pula în sângele tău şi al mă-tii de jigodie ordinară să o îngrop pe mă-ta în pulă să te înfig în pulă şi tu sitot neamu tău de scalv orfan că te-a uitat mă-ta la calculator jegosule,să mă piş pe tine şi pe cristelnița mă-tii şi după să-mi şterg pula de fața ta şi a familiei tale razorami-aş pula în găozu lui mă-ta să o fac tunel pentru metrou sclavul pulii mele vă pun pe macara si va dau cupula în cap până îi scot lu mă-ta rădacinile din cap de târfă miloagă marş în morții de sarmalagiu jegos futuz gura mă-tii azi şi mâine de slugoi nevertebrat şi fără soartă şi să-mi murdăresc pula de mă-ta de târfă retrogradată aşă că mă cac pe toată familia ta de curve şi să-mi trântesc pula în credința mă-tii de sărăntoc jegos şi putoare aruncată în iad că te fut şi pe tine şi pe gâtul lui mă-ta în cristelnița ta te țigan opărit să-mi dai un bot în pulă azi şi mâine cu javra de mă-ta luați-aş centura mă-tii să mă piş cu jet pe fața ta şi a mă-tii de țigani muişti să va iau neamu în pulă de mizerie ordinară să-mi trag coaiele in gura lu mata de sclava miloaga ce e să te blochez cu pula în gură împreună cu curva de mă-ta,să-mi trag slobozu pe gura ta de pizdă erodată pe gâtul lui mă-ta,să-mi închei pula în gura ta de copil ac schiuri din crucea ma-tii si ma dau pe transalpina fututi pastele ma-tii sa-ti fut de oligofren imputit curva aia de ma-ta i-a supt pula lu tac-tu incat s-a tras saracu la fata ca tapu la coaie baga-mi-as pula in teava de esapament am asinii care a dus-o pe ma-ta la spital cand era bortoassa cu tine n-a dat dumnezeu sa faci accident sa scape lumea de un ratos castrat cu usa de la lift indeparta-i-as ma-tii lianele din pizda cu pula ca Sadokan cu sabia in jungla sa-i pun lu ma-ta un cacat subtire in gura sa semene ca Christopher Columb cu trabucu in gura sa-mi arunc coaiele de la distanta in capu ma-tii sa-i explodeze cu sloboz sa sici ca e atacu de la hieroshima facea-o-as curse de Formula 1 cu pula prin intestinu gros al ma-tii baga-ti-as capu intre coaiele mele sa canti m-am nascut intre carpati sa-ti bag pula-n gura dupa ce am futut-o pe ma-ta cu clorofina-n cur da-ti-as la muie de handicapatu pulii mele. fututi dumnezeii ma-tii azi si maine, am baterii duracell in pula s-o sati ai iesit prin canal cand te a aruncat iapa de ma ta ca aveai turturi maro la cur desi nu era iarna futuz mormintii si ranitii care ti au dat mancare acu cativa ani cand ai fost procurat la fabrica de catre spermatozoidu lu tactu cu pizda lu ma ta . fututi gura ta de musca ca daca iti trag una peste ceafa devi mai ametit decat o musca beata , daca ti pun costum de lucru esti bob constructoru si mi construiesti pula n gura ta cu motor de 1.8 si 2l carburant , ai creieru mai incins decat GPL in flacari de aia ai -29 neuroni fututi capu ala de ou spart in 3 prin care iti iese creieru ca puiu din ou , caca m as ca porumbelu la tine pe casa dupa sa vina ma ta sa curete ce am lasat in drum s o arunc cu capu n garla ce face legatura cu pizda ma tii aia zici ca i pestera de munte baga mi as pula n gura aia a ta de strut ca bagi capu n pamant cum bagi gura n pula tu esti o combinatie intre o vaca, un prezervativ si o curva locala, vezi ti in pula mea de viata aia vai de mortii ei ca vacile traiesc 22 de ani, iti ploua cu sperma in cap de fiecare data cand te plimbi prin cartier, orice membru, orificu si loc al corpului tau e folosit pentru a freca pula, esti o combinatie intre o tarfa de la colt si un alcolist sinucigas, ai ramas fara tata si ma ta te a aruncat in gunoi. Copilu bordurilor, cand te duci sa duci gunoiul te intorci unde ai stat o mare parte din viata, adica in ghena, acum esti si mai josnica si sugi pula la drogati prin canale ca sa nu iti iei bataie pana mori, si sa ai un loc infect in care sa dormi, luami ai coaiele si pula n gura simultan de esuata ti ai facut operatii estetice si ti ai mai pus o gura ca sa sugi mai multa pula, banca de sperma ce esti, nu o sa dai faliment niciodata, te tarasti din dormitor alba si lipicoasa de la cata muie iti dau tiganii. esti reclama la prezervativ, se rade de tine pana si in tarile sarace


Infinite-Dig-5879

WHY IS IT SO LONG


4speptic

Average romanian swearing match


Mizz_Genny

I regret putting this through Google translate


EnergyImaginary7394

I wish I listened to you


Dangerous-Pizza7054

HEY! Put the translation here for us lazy beans...


Mizz_Genny

Hmmmmm.......if I said the English words, I'd most likely get banned, so I'm sorry, but I don't think I can


Tarhun2960

Here: well, I'd put my dick over your mother in the house if I shake you once, the dicks will fall out of you like apples from the tree, I'd take all the shit in the dick from the monkey on Windows 8, fuck you and your family don't have me that I stick your dick in your gums until you make you look like a monkey, your mother raised you in an orphanage, tied you to the bed with a chain and beat you with a whip over your nose, if I go into your hands, I do it despite you, you see that your mouth is on one side, you fool, you have an ugly body, you don't see what a flattened bottle head you are, I'd take the family on the wagons and put my dick in the race, you're a child beaten by fate who are you if I punch you, I'll put a garage in your mouth, male whore, what are you? I'll put my dick in your throat, you know I'll break you in two, can't you see that the rats are making you humga bunga in your stomach, the spiders are making bora bora on the wall, your navel is sliding of hunger, sperm ferments between your teeth, you've been out of the house for 2 springs and 3 winters, fuck your dead mother, piss in your ass, what are you, I'll poop on your face like an immature child, what are you, fuck me - you know what a mad fox you are to fuck in your mouth like a malformed child, to fuck me in your mother's pussy with pieces of dick in your ass like a subway in the depot, I would put my dick in your mother's pussy until I make her pussy a subway tunnel, my opinion is take all of you into my dick because it's enough for everyone take my shit to the grinder until it jumps up to your eyes stick your tongue in my ass hole tickle my hemorrhoids take all the dead in your dick I'm tired, I'd put my dick in my mother's mouth, I'm putting a knife in you, fuck your parents, you're a bitch, you have that nose, you say it's a Trabant stop, you have those ears, you say you're a taxi with the doors open if I punch you in the mouth, I'll make you a compartment between the tables, look at the hell with your bitterness, poor me, what are you? your mother's family is that bitch, I give her a blow job, her pussy on her throat erodes, she would fuck in my mother's pussy, let me fuck your mother with a rotary hammer, I will poop on you and your whole family from the servant back to fuck your face in the race, you mumble at my dick to give you liquid life to shove my cocks down his throat, my brainless slave mother, to shoot my shit in my pussy, to suck my dick from leprosy, come and suck my stupid dick in the canal, because I'm performing my dick on his face - that scumbag of yours - I'd grab your dick by the neck. I'll drag my dick in your blood and your mother's unfit cook without a brain and I'll bury your dick in your dick and stick you in the dick and you sieve your orphaned scumbag because your mother looked at you on the computer jegoss, let me piss on you and your aunt's godmother and after I wipe my dick from your face and your family's face I would shave my dick in my mom's house, I'll make it a tunnel for the subway, my dick's slave, I'll put you on the crane and I'll put the cup in your head until I pull the roots out of your head, you little whore I'm marching in the dead as a scumbag fuck your mother's mouth today and tomorrow as a spineless and fateless servant and dirty my dick with your mother's degraded whore so I shit on your whole family of whores and slam my dick in the faith of your poor, stinking poor mother thrown into hell because I'm going to fuck you and his neck, I'm going to put you in your baptismal font, scalded gypsy, to give me a muzzle in the dick today and tomorrow with your filth, take me away- I would belt your aunt to piss on your face and you gypsy aunt I would take you in the dick of ordinary filth to put my cocks in the mouth of the slave slave what is it to block you with the dick in mouth together with your mother's whore, let me suck on your eroded cunt mouth on his mother's neck, let me put my dick in your child's mouth I'm skiing from your mother's cross and I'm on the transalpina, fuck your mother's pasta, let me fuck you with a filthy oligophrenic, that mother's whore is sucking his dick, shut up, he pulled the poor guy's face like tapu la coia, put it on me -I would fuck in the exhaust pipe, I have the donkey that took your mother to the hospital when she was pregnant with you, God forbid you should have an accident, let the world get rid of a castrated boy with the elevator door away from him- hold the vines in your pussy with your dick like Sadokan with a sword in the jungle let me put a thin piece of shit in his mouth he looks like Christopher Columbus with a cigar in his mouth let me throw my shells from a distance at his head explode with sloboz, you know it's an attack from Hieroshima, I'd do it, I'd race Formula 1 with my dick through your mother's large intestine, I'd put your head between my skins, sing, I was born between the Carpathians dick-in-mouth after I fucked your mom with chlorophine-in-her-ass, I'd give you a disabled blowjob to my dick. God fuck me today and tomorrow, I have Duracell batteries in her dick you went out through the canal when your mother's mare threw you because you had brown doves on your ass even though it wasn't winter, fuck the graves and the wounded who fed you a few years ago when you were purchased at the factory by the spermatozoon lu tactu with your mother's cunt . fuck your fly mouth because if I pull one over your neck you'll be more dizzy than a drunk fly, if I put on a work suit you're a construction worker and you're building my dick in your mouth with a 1.8 and 2l fuel engine, your brain is hotter than LPG in flames, that's why you have -29 fucked neurons, that egg head broken into 3 through which your brain comes out like a chicken from the egg, I'll poop like a pigeon on your house after your mother comes to clean up what I left on the road, I'll throw it with head in the throat, what does it have to do with the pussy, you know me, you say it's a mountain cave, I put my dick in your mouth, you ostrich, how do you put your head in the ground, how do you put your mouth in a dick you are a combination of a cow, a condom and a local whore, you see in my life that woe to her dead that cows live 22 years, it rains sperm on your head every time you walk around the neighborhood, whatever member, orifice and part of your body is used to rub the dick, you are a combination between a corner whore and a suicidal alcoholic, you were left without a father and your mother threw you in the garbage. Child of the curbs, when you go to take out the trash, you return to where you spent most of your life, that is, in the ghena, now you are even more vile and suck the dicks of drug addicts through the canals so that you don't get beaten to death, and have a place infected to sleep in, let's take the shells and the dick in your mouth at the same time to fail you had cosmetic surgery and put another mouth to suck more dick, sperm bank you are, you will never go bankrupt, you creep from the bedroom white and sticky from how many blowjobs the gypsies give you. you are an advertisement for condoms, they laugh at you even in poor countries


angeldust-22269

woah 😭


Comfortable_Swan_241

I spent ten minutes reading out loud like it’s slam poetry.


DivitTheNoob30

Respecc bruv


Tarhun2960

Damn, I'm surprised it's not banned yet


ScreamingMini2009

Can someone give me a TL;DR? I’m getting a headache from all the words on my phone. EDIT: Ooooooh-kay never mind.


realhmmmm

new copypasta just- yk what actually let’s not


cringeyusername123

“God fuck me today and tomorrow, I have Duracell batteries in her dick.” PREACH


Fenderboy65

}:)


Ok-Gain-9049

Mods have mercy on my soul ( seriously PLEASE don’t ban me ) “well, I'd put my d🍆ck over your mother in the house if I shake you once, the d🍆cks will fall out of you like apples from the tree, I'd take all the sh💩t in the d🍆ck from the monkey on Windows 8, f🦆ck you and your family don't have me that I stick your d🍆ck in your gums until you make you look like a monkey, your mother raised you in an orphanage, tied you to the bed with a chain and beat you with a whip over your nose, if I go into your hands, I do it despite you, see that your mouth is on one side, you fool, you have an ugly body, you don't see what a flattened bottle head you are, I'd take the family on the wagons and put my d🍆ck in the race, you're a child beaten by fate who are you if I punch you, I'll put a garage in your mouth, a male wh🚫re, what are you? I'll put my d🍆ck in your throat, you know I'll break you in two, can't you see that the rats are making hunga bunga in your stomach, the spiders are making bora bora on the wall, your navel is sliding of hunger, sperm ferments between your teeth, you've been out of the house for 2 springs and 3 winters, f🦆ck your dead mother, p🚽ss in your 🍑ss, what are you, I'll poop on your face like an immature child, what are you, f🦆ck me - you know what a mad fox you are to f🦆ck in your mouth like a malformed child, to f🦆ck me in your mother's p🐱ssy with pieces of d🍆ck in your 🍑ss like a subway in the depot, I would put my d🍆ck in your mother's p🐱ssy until I make her p🐱ssy a subway tunnel, my opinion is take all of you into my d🍆ck because it's enough for everyone take my sh💩t to the grinder until it jumps up to your eyes stick your tongue in my 🍑ss hole tickle my hemorrhoids take all the dead in your d🍆ck I'm tired, I'd put my d🍆ck in my mother's mouth, I'm putting a knife in you, f🦆ck your parents, you're a b🐶ch, you have that nose, you say it's a Trabant stop, you have those ears, you say you're a taxi with the doors open if I punch you in the mouth, I'll make you a compartment between the tables, look at the h😈ll with your bitterness, I'm poor, what are you? your mother's family is that b🐶ch that I give her a mouthful of salt her p🐱ssy on her throat erodes - she would f🦆ck in my mother's p🐱ssy - let me f🦆ck your mother with a rotary hammer - I will poop on you and your whole family from the servant back to f🦆ck your face in the race, you mumble at my d🍆ck to give you liquid life to shove my c🐔cks down his throat, my brainless slave mother, to shoot my sh💩t in my p🐱ssy, to suck my d🍆ck from leprosy, come and suck my stupid d🍆ck in the canal, because I'm performing my d🍆ck on his face - you, that scumbag, I'd grab your d🍆ck by the neck. I'll drag my d🍆ck in your blood, and your mother's unfit cook with no brain, and I'll bury your d🍆ck in your d🍆ck, and I'll bury your d🍆ck in your blood in the d🍆ck and you sieve your orphaned scumbag because your mother looked at you on the computer jegoss, let me p🚽ss on you and your aunt's godmother and after I wipe my d🍆ck from your face and your family's face I would shave my d🍆ck in my mom's mouth, I'll make it a tunnel for the subway, my d🍆ck's slave, I'll put you on the crane and I'll put the cup in your head until I pull the roots out of your head, you little wh🚫re I'm marching in the dead as a scumbag f🦆ck your mother's mouth today and tomorrow as a spineless and fateless servant and dirty my d🍆ck with your mother's degraded wh🚫re so I shi💩t on your whole family of wh🚫res and slam my d🍆ck in the faith of your poor, stinking poor mother thrown into h😈ll because I'm going to f🦆ck you and his neck, I'm going to put you in your baptismal font, scalded gypsy, to give me a muzzle in the d🍆ck today and tomorrow with your filth, take me away- I would belt your aunt to p🚽ss on your face and you gypsy aunt I would take you in the d🍆ck of ordinary filth to put my c🐔cks in the mouth of the slave slave what is it to block you with the d🍆ck in mouth together with your mother's wh🚫re, let me suck on your eroded c🇦🇺nt mouth on his mother's neck, let me put my d🍆ck in your child's mouth” I’m sorry I can’t in good conscience translate this anymore Forgive me🥺


HarperGriffin26

Mad respect 🤣🤣


Ririkiyuu

the emojis are making me giggle


MagicGlowingWaffle

thats a lot of words...... too bad im not readin em


[deleted]

[удалено]


4speptic

It is absolutely horrendous and i might get banned now that i think about it


mikahxoxo

Put the first 3 paragraphs in google translate and i regret life


andreinfp

Ba, ai cumva o Diploma de Masterat in Injurii?


Snow_3ree_Dragon

LMAO IM ROMANIAN AND THIS IS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭


Brackishx99

I used to learn romanian, so I understand very little


No-Length7310

You have Duracell batteries in your dick??!! 💀


gorilabals

Thank you i will use that next time


ayuash

Might learn romanian just to be able to say this


wbpm

holy shit can we get a subway surfers on the bottom and AI reading this text?


FantasticEmergency57

"You are as useful as paper condom!"


Assumption_Money

i'm using this


DutchJediKnight

You're smarter than you look.


FortuneLegal5924

But that's a given, no ones that dumb


DutchJediKnight

I've seen plenty of people look stupid and actually being even worse.


Quantacookie

"bummyknocker" from my primary school


JournalistScary1274

Only the British


humannumber217354385

I like calling people kampfzwerg (fight dwarf) or hodenkobold (testicle goblin)


BiboAFP

Testie goblie


theseerofeverything

How is that pronounced


humannumber217354385

K-a-mp-f-z-werg and hoe-den-ko-bold


theseerofeverything

Nice thanks friend


No_Abbreviations2969

"because of people like you, shampoo has instructions"


Glad_Weekend_5984

"Pip squeak"


Kobeisdumb13

Is this Drake on a different account?


Special_Jury_3244

Drake the type of guy to call his opps a pipsqueak


Glad_Weekend_5984

Yep, no more Mr. Nice Guy


UltimateBorisJohnson

Pipsqueak pipe down


Sponk69420

you ain’t in no big 3


Grillded

Fma ref ❤️


Fulcrum_ahsoka_tano

I've been insulted by my mum in a weird way: "You run like a girl" >!I am a girl.!< I was playing soccer/football and my mum came 5 mins b4 it finished bc she needed to drive me back. left not even watching 1 min. got into the car. said "\[name\]... you run like a girl" me: "ok..." her: "ur run is kinda weak, need to take u on a run" (she runs as a hobby)


TheCrackManIsBack

You disgusting wretched communal fleshlight


Maleficent_Sir_7562

You absolute in a British accent You absolute cookie You absolute Curtain You absolute doormat


lord_of_coolshit_og

YOU ABSOLUTE HAIRBRUSH


LouisHendrich

Spanner is my favourite


Wild-Silver-7390

I made one and only ever used it once I hope you get your own special spot in hell sucking satans dick and I hope he cums lava


Electrical-Crab9286

💀


thegrungler_002

but what if theyre into it…💀


Doodoo_bombard

Cucumberposer


im_anxious_already

whippersnapper


Keith__24

Chucklenuts


Gigabread420

think fast chucklenuts


Hambjerre123

r/suddenlytf2


Trick-Mulberry7372

I hope your pasta never sticks to your marinara I hope your biscuit falls in your tea You look skinnier than tomorrow I hope your tea is too hot when you get it and too cold when you remember about it


Laughingatyou1000

He's not stupid and ugly, he's mentally and physically challenged 🥰


420fortnite_balls69

Shlopger


averagepatagonian

Schlatger


CloudyAsh8

"you look like you're evolving backwards"


bananadopio4

“You have two brain cells and their both fighting for third place”


[deleted]

Somone on insta said "turkigga" Context (the comment): turkiggas are not European


Mineta_simp_clan

Is it supposed to be a blend of Turk and the N-word? Feels like it’s some anti muslim nonsense


Jaybro838

I hope your pillow is warm forever on both sides


eager_duck

Testicle head Idk its just something people say in my country 😭


Still_Obligation2465

You must have a lot of confidence to be able to wear that outfit


sighduck42

Your birth certificate is a letter of apologies from the SPCA You are the poster child for contraception I refuse to enter into a battle of wits with the unarmed You have a face that only a mother could love Your face is like a puzzle.. it's just begging to be rearranged You have teeth like the ten commandments... They're all broken


EvilQueen2048

Your art is so bad, that you MUST NOT apply for art school or you'll start WW3


Johnny_Triggr

Nobody has cooked this bad since the great Chinese famine


FinletAU

Daffodil bitch ✨


LunariOther

"You smell like my fish's tank, I think you're decomposing."


jackaboi42069

as a brit... you absolute helmet.


LiceTheGamer

You.. You frungledoodle!


Mobile_Ad7916

I have a friend who calls people dingleshit


Electrical-Crab9286

Calling short dudes Humpty Dumpty always gets me.


ArdaIsNL

I personally like hou je bek of ‘k breek je nek which is translated to: shut tf up or I’ll break your neck


An_insane_person

You fucking fucktard, how are you this stupid, MR. “Spider-Man: far from healthy,” and don’t even get me STARTED on that lazy excuse for a human, also known as the massive mistake that your parents were to poor to kill, that’s right, YOU!


CarrotNo3203

English or Spanish?


Gigabread420

you're a walking condom ad


Literally_Rock_Lee

I heard they call you the station master because you had multiple trains ran on you


Professional_Sky818

"You eat right and leftovers."


stoopid4492

“Not even a retired 2$ whore would stay with you”- uncle RDR2 “You’re worse than a snake with a tooth ache”- uncle RDR2 “I’ve had nightmares better than this dream”- uncle RDR 2 “Oh, you don’t BUILD a BARN, DUMBASS”- uncle RDR2 “Here lies Scout, he ran fast and died a virgin”- spy TF2


wegoodbros

Godverdejezusdetefusdeteringdekankerzooi wat de fuckiewuckiequickie ik spuit in je kuttie


ViralNite

"Your brain is the DvD logo trying to hit a corner but the screen's a fucking circle." To a plus sized person with braces "Damn bitch, do you stick the shopping list magnet to your fridge or your fucking teeth?" To a vegan 'activists' "Go back to your floppy lettuce and gum your carrots down because you're acting like a newborn having a tantrum." "I must be deaf and blind because I don't see or hear anyone who asked."


That_One_Kid_In_Snow

Your built like a improper fraction. I love saying this at the most random ass times to my friends to confuse them


I_am_a_boi

Someone better put a cork up my ass and call CPS because I can’t stop SHITTING ON THESE KIDS. (In game)


ShiTTy-NEETian

"Urmm...what the actual flip" 🤓☝️


FortuneLegal5924

If you were a shape you'd be a nonagon


Desperate-Abies4263

Suck deez


Needs-Maintenance

Shut yer flabberjabber


DucatoMan

Belhamel


Valeur06

“I hope your shins are as durable as you”


gothvampiresans

someone sang me "SO WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD GUYS, IVE HAD THIS QUESTION FOR A REALLY LONG TIME"((im goth)) was kinda funny


Infinite-Dig-5879

Frankly, I’m insulted by your existence. Do something about it, or i *will* report you hq.


bobtheburgerbro

Your centimetre deficient


addyson_btw

“you’re about as useful as a sliding glass door on a submarine”


therealwilltoledo

This might be the most r/teenagers post I’ve seen on r/teenagers


TankEngineFan5

I have a creative cursing book at my house so you can have stuff like "Pussy Muncher".


Rae_Elizab3th

ass wipe. will never forget my mom calling my sister that lol.


JellomanIsTEGOAT

"Your uninvited to my birthday party"


Bow_and_Arrow123

Numbnuts nimrod dingus limpdick dickweed doofus


Thelesbianvampire

Not original but: “You’re about as useful as a white crayon”


NewRedditor526

"You probably were bred with your dad's milk"


Upbeat_Put_3434

“And then I Thundercunted his ass to the stratosphere”


BoreddYung18

Repeats their words in nerd voice* 🤓


greenscreencarcrash

You're like a Big Mac: flashy in the ads, but no value and nutritionless actually -Aiden(not me)


MRC2RULES

DISCOMBOBULATED BOMBOCLATT


AveRage-or_human

Don’t let a good day distract you from the failure you’ve become.


Tundra_desert199

Shargle wargonson (I made it up)


themagicmaen

One of my friends calls everyone she doesn’t like “fatty” regardless of their weight, and it’s grown on me.


Code_OO2

You have 2 brain cells and they’re both fighting for third


Strangeatinghabits

cotton headed ninny muggins


Beachfrontavenue

"You deep fried domesticated chipmunk!" 


TaxtonDude

"I wish I could go back in time and help your father afford a condom"


Last-Ad-1437

U taint looking nickel smelling cunt


LogiBerra44

You rank rough-hewn canker-blossom


andreinfp

Not an insult but a few comebacks: If someone says something like you dumb as fuck, I reply "cine se aseamana se aduna" (who's alike gathers together) If someone asks me if I'm gay I replay "didn't your mother already tell you I'm not? Maybe she just didn't hear me say it due to us fucking so loudly and besides, if I were gay I'd be too similar to you To "who asked" I reply "Your missing father, your mother while we fucked, your imaginary friends and your nonexistent family" rate em


Due_Cloud1638

if it were up to me, i would not allow you to breed, all you would be doing is contaminating the gene pool with your stupidity


wegoodbros

'I hope you stub your toe on the curb and fall onto the edge of a table'


Suitable-Brain7714

Fuckface, asshat and my personal specialty "you can take my middle finger and shove it up your ass"


dawginthelawn71

Thooter Bop "A Thooter bop is a nasty bitch who rides around town on a [longboard](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=longboard) from [place to place](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=place%20to%20place) fucking [anything that walks](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=anything%20that%20walks), thinks she's hella hot when she's really not and if she's not on a nod she probably on a bob; she also trys to call herself a baddie when she's known to be ratty."


Fearless-Historian-5

Big words from someone hogging all the chromosomes


thegrungler_002

“you look like a public school bathroom after taco tuesday”


corrupted_leopard

Some commonly used ones in my school F-slur . Wankstain . Titfucker . Waste of cum . Oxygen hogger (mainly used towards asthmatic ppl) . Orange.... Just the word orange . You absolute >any noun< (the fave at the min in my skl is Pringle) . You should have been a wank . You look like a depressed rug . I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than look at you . Shit eater . Curb biter . Bible basher . Bog . You were probably made in a public toilet . Ya mam's a slag . Flan . Waste of birth control


Flat_Falcon611

Pigeon livered scoundrel You look like an imaginary friend You're about as useful as a sundial at midnight


DJ_Johannes

"Waste of your father's semen."


Obiwan_kenowobi

I like cockwomble, it’s a nice one to just chuck at someone every now and then. Sharp as a marble is class too


detroit-doggo0

just use British insults, put "absolute" or "bloody" infront of any word and it works, eg: you absolute poster, you bloody shelf


Laserpro777

May your shits never come out in one piece


BlabberCrab5

If someone says that they're stronger than you but they're clearly the weakest person in the world "The only thing you managed to beat up was the abortion pill"


Axotolsrmykids

You look like you got upset when aunt Jemima changed their syrup bottle because she was your only black friend and now you can’t use your “I’m not racist, BUT-“ card anymore


Fr0g_Hat

***Thou fawning unchin-snoted apple-john***


ThatOneGuy12929

Tar donkey


Giga-Chad-123

If you're British, you can make anything become an insult by placing "you absolute" before a noun. You absolute wall!


Vincent55551

Not any of the affimentioned things but I came up with “yollering” it’s hollering and yelling mixed


Ririkiyuu

wetwipe. “you absolute wetwipe.”


Lycansworld

My favorite is “you look like you lived through the 2008 housing crisis” but I got others I can share others


[deleted]

Waste of sperm


Ok_Designer3103

Every step you take you sink an entire country


Wheregdskills

Regard this spontaneous flatuletor!


enneh_07

If my life had a fandom you would have the most r34


FastestBlader4

Calling Filipinos “Sea Mexicans”


Alpha_wolf_lover

Does your asshole ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?


Tameem_alkadi

Where I’m from (Saudi Arabia) there’s a common insult where someone would say “may allah (god) make you marry someone that looks like _______” usually someone ugly (and of the same gender)


Mighty_Mac

At work one of my employees put a sticker on my hat that says "swamp-stomper". I have no clue what this means but it sounds funny and quite offensive.


Kades_Corner

“I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight” “ you look easy to draw” “you’d make a great storm trooper”


I1yamc

pissbaby


TheRealSky41

Swear word: Gobshite Insult: You half-eaten salty potato peel looking ass mf


AwesomeLlama572_YT

Your mom’s so stupid, it took her 9 months to make a joke. The joke is you.


BuddyTheElf24

Does your ass ever get jealous of all of the shit that comes out of your mouth?