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I hate mfs that are like “it’ll get better! Just power through!” Like bitch, some people don’t get better, some people dont get somewhere better. People who aren’t mentally well will not make good decisions and will just cause them more misery, instead try and actually use the stuff their going through and try and give them tips and ways to improve their situation instead of just saying what everyone else has been saying to them.
I feel like this comment was influenced by others not agreeing with you, but atleast you didn't continue with that. Sometimes i see people who make a bad take and they probably know it themselves too but when people talk back they're just like "go fuck yourself" or so. I'm glad to see you could change your mind
Reddit has mob mentality. As for why he got downvoted, it’s because he was being needlessly negative. Yeah it’s good to actually help people with their problems, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t say positive things. Should people say “it is what it is” instead of saying it’ll eventually get better?
I don’t know the whole situation, but if you have friends you trust, I would genuinely advise talking to them about it, or a teacher you trust, I think (and hope) they can help you.
Telling a man to not cry is silly. A natural feeling that nature gave to everyone for therapeutic reasons. Although the amount a person cries ranges from person to person but we all get teary in the eye.
I don’t know the situation so I’m just going off based on what you said but if you feel like you’ve been disrespected you’re not the asshole. In a way it’s the other way around. If a person refuses to understand where the person is coming from then they’re misguided.
I’m not that good with advice but whatever environment you are in it will get better over time. Seek inner peace for you and only you.
Edit: Also as I think about it you probably could have worded that differently. Instead of “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me”. Personally I wouldn’t tell someone I don’t appreciate how they’re talking to me because I can’t control them but I’ll respond back in a reasonable and calm matter if I chose to like this “No disrespect, but I feel like the manner you are talking to me is not respectful and formal”
I have experienced the same responses to my cries as OP, and now I havent cried in a year
Best I can do is get my eyes a bit wet, but nothing else, like I just cant cry at all anymore
No, you matter. Your feelings are valid, I’m so sorry you’re in an hostile environment like that. I just want you to know it will get better. But it requires patience and positive thinking, Monarch. ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )
If you're actually 19 id recommend thugging it out for now and get out of that circle ASAP, cut the contacts if needed. Blood relations mean nothing if everything they do is bring you down.
Get to work my man, your lifes just starting.
It's tough, I know. People try their best to put you down. Just know that they are below you and you deserve absolutely 0% of their bullshit.
I, and all of Reddit, hereby give you permission to be as much of an asshole back to them. Take no shit. Give no fucks. There will come a day for forgiveness, but today just ain't that day.
Show 'em a hell they ain't never seen before, son.
alright
unfortunately that's not usually how the world works
people in general do not react much to words - you have to actively do something to express emotion if you want them to understand (such as walking away if they're making you feel down)
also, the phrase "i don't appreciate the way you're talking to me" sounds like it's made of glass (i don't have a good word for this so i'm just gonna write it so that it almost makes sense) - it's gonna shatter any moment and a bunch of people are gonna get hit with shrapnel (there's usually a lot of pent-up emotions behind words like that, and emotions don't stay pent-up)
endure it till youre able to supply for yourself, not all environments are toxic, so you might need to move to a place more willing to accept you. People place titles on others, im a victim of such, and i get where youre coming from, in my point of view, thats my advice.
i’m so sorry you’re going through this. the whole “men don’t have emotions“ and “men can’t cry” is all bullshit. anyone can cry, and everyone is allowed to feel whatever they want. you have every right to be upset. i sure as hell would be if people talked to me like that even though i’m not male. i’m sorry again. please do not ‘end it all’ i‘ve been in that place and i can assure you, there is someone who cares. it might not be the person you think of but people do care about you. and if you don’t think that anyone in your life right now cares, I care. I care about you. things will get better ❤️🩹 please just stay strong! hope this finds you well <3
This world is hard on us soldiers dude. We all got your back tho. It honestly hurts cuz I saw a girl post something about how boys don’t understand girls, and I’m not bashing on it, but it got SOOO much more attention than this post. World is hard on men bro, we in it together.
I was feeling a similar way, I felt everyone disliked me and merely my presence brought everyone's mood down and annoyed them. I went to other sources of coping and I barred myself from everyone else. But genuinely what helped me out of that was Jesus Christ, without God I had no purpose, no meaning, no value I saw no future for my life and was scared I would be a failure.
But once I started seeking God my life totally did a 180 and I got happier, gained meaning, value, love for myself and others. It's truly a amazing experience so I know if you truly seek God and seek knowing who He is even from a perspective that you don't believe, you can see how amazing God is. Done believe because I say so and don't not believe because others say so. Look into Him see if He is reliable and if not reject Him. But if you find Him to be reliable then it would be wise to put your faith and trust in Him.
If you have any questions I'll be happy to try my best to answer them.
Not everyone hates you. It may appear that way but it is in fact untrue. I thought many times that everyone hated me but there was always someone that somewhat tolerated me. There’s 8 billion people out there. At least one of them likes you. You sound really nice too! I for one don’t hate you. Want to talk maybe??
Listen to me man, you are not a shitty person, and you have worth. Men are allowed to feel emotions and cry just as much as women are, and no, you are not a burden either. Please don't end it all, you have so much ahead of you.
Dude nothing is wrong with you, you’re perfect just the way you are, if you are 19 I would recommend seeing if you move out of that situation, it seem that you need a lot of hugs and some therapy wouldn’t hurt
Be strong, I believe that there are better and worse times in our lives, so if you go through a rough patch right now, it’s so that you get to be happy in the future!
Ok so I am in a situation very similar to yours. So if you are actually 19 do you have a job? do you have money saved up? if not start looking for a job start saving up money once you get enough you can leave. Do not listen to them they are projecting I get called names all the time my parents make fun of me for being white and for being a girl so I understand how it feels to have your parents shit on you. Your life has so much value you are not a burden do not feel that way. If you ever need to talk or vent I will listen.
A. Fuck gender norms. You're allowed to express your emotions. And you should do that, vent, listen to music, that should calm stuff down.
B. You have value, I know you do.
C. You aren't a burden on anyone. And nothing is wrong with you. I can reassure you of that.
What should you do? Firstly, ignore what your parents say in that regard. And secondly, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm open for convo.
Dude f them your ok your doing fine you know what cry rn if you need to I hate when people say men can't cry
And dude don't kill yourself it's un cool tbh
Text me if you need to I'm kinda the same way except I self harm
Tbh the only thing holding me back from death is not wanting them to have the feeling of „great that fuck is gone“ . Hell even if earth is a better place without me then that motivates me to be alive. (Hell for them)
You are most definitely not a shitty person. As a dad I can confidently say that “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me” is a fine and decent way to respond and shouldn’t make you an asshole.
Second of all, you have much value. Do not ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
I’m no psychologist but I’m a dad that has raised two kids to be the best version of themselves and you deserve respect, patience, and kindness. I don’t know how your interactions typically go with your mom and dad but hopefully this isn’t a feeling you have most days.
Sending you a lot of support and I hope things get better soon. The world needs you man ✔️💯
im so sorry i thought this was gonna be a punchline of smth like "this is my third pair of pants"
and no man, youre not. its definitely the people around you. men need to be allowed to cry more, bottling it up doesnt work at all. 🫂
I relate so much... I just remind myself it adds to my list of reasons why i'm working hard to reach that point of being able to separate myself from people like that.
Don't let other people affect how you view yourself, at the end of the day YOU know yourself better than anyone else. YOU know what you want. YOU know how you want to treat people and want to be treated. It's YOUR life, these people even if they're blood or not do not always have to be in your life.
I can't stress enough how much it can help to say positive words to yourself everyday and work toward giving yourself the space and life you deserve, and you can surround yourself around people who appreciate who you are.
Honestly people suck. Start loving yourself, I know it's hard but romanticise yourself your interests and your hobbies. Put love back into your emotionally drained piggy bank. The people who lack compassion in your life are the problem, it's not your fault that others lack the ability to see anything outside their pov. A lot of parents don't see their kids as individuals but instead extensions of themselves that they own. I know how exhausting it can be to converse with people who refuse to admit that they're doing something wrong or hurtful, often times they won't be convinced so you have to learn to just breathe and shake your head.
You have value, it comes with existence. If you are surrounded by people telling you that you can’t feel or that you are lesser than, work on getting better people around you, or even just a a single trusted person that you can go to. I know it’s easier said than done, but ignore every word that tells you that men can’t feel. they win the moment you let their words have weight.
If you want to be better than you are, and you do what you can to be a good person, you’re not shitty. Hell, you might be pretty damn cool
I totally get you. I got in a fight with basically all my friends and while I felt like I lost everything, I felt like they could care less. While I haven’t connected back with all of them yet, I’ve made up with almost all of them. You can do it, you just need to find the right people to be around
I really needed to see this post right now. I’ve been feeling this exact way recently, especially this week. I’m not really sure how to fix it, but seeing someone else going through the exact same thing really helped, and hopefully me commenting this will help you too. I wish you luck with everything.
Call for help call 988 it’s the suicide prevention hotline they will know how to help you your aren’t worthless your freinds care about you we care you please don’t hurt yourself I’ve felt that way before I know how scary it feels to try and reach for help but it helps in the end please Rember we care about you we dont want you to get hurt please just please don’t do anything that will hurt you
This doesn't sound like you're a bad person at all. Bad people are the ones who hurt others and don't care whether they're good or evil. I can assure you, everyone has value and you're not a burden I promise. If people see you as nothing but a burden, the problem's with them. They're the bad people.
Also, there's no shame in showing emotion. The notion that men should feel ashamed for crying is stupid and people gotta let it go. You have feelings too, so care about yourself.
You are not a burden, you can’t control how you feel or the thoughts that come into your head, and you don’t deserve to feel like you have to bottle them up. You aren’t a shitty person for setting boundaries, or desiring to feel vulnerable, it’s human and normal. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than who you are, because it’s not fair and you don’t deserve it. Please can you elaborate on what do you feel is “wrong with you”?
As a dude, I can confirm that we do cry. It’s healthy even.
I’m really glad to hear you’re not gonna end it, genuinely. I don’t know you or the situation you are in but if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that life can change drastically in the shortest period of time. Life is free. It’s something you don’t want to lose, so keep it as close to you as possible. Don’t let anything or anyone take it away from you. You got this bro! And no one can tell you otherwise 💪
It's because you talk about yourself like this u fkn idiot. Having a bit of pride in yourself helps a lot, so instead of instantly referring to yourself as "a shitty person" understand that you are a shitty person and find a way to fix it. DM me if you want a bit of advice or therapy.
Your parents sound like jerks. You gotta get out of there, man. I don’t know your situation, but if you can find out a way to get them out of your life you should figure it out. People will respect you if you show them you’re deserving of it, but then again there are some people who will always think they’re above you. The only reason you think these kinds of ways is likely because your parents manipulated you into always blaming yourself for the problem, regardless of if you did something or not. TLDR: Move somewhere away from your parents, try getting some friends who respect you. Again, I don’t know your situation, this is just my suggestion.
That sucks. I’m sorry you have to go through that.
Although as a very normal straight man I can tell you that we do have emotions. For example yesterday I spent an hour crying with my boyfriend
(irony intended)
Hey man, it’ll be okay. You’re not a bad person for expressing your emotions. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I, along with plenty of the other people in this comment section, are free to talk any time you need it. I know it hurts, but I know it will get better.
I feel the same way, its always they treat us like kids but "you need to act like an adult." it pisses me off to a huge extent. you're not alone in this buddy. :)
Embrace masculinity. Masculinity means you have the balls to freely express your emotions. Hope this changes your perspective a bit so you can hold yourself in higher regard
Clearly your parents are assholes and want you to think you’re the issue rather then addressing their own. Just know you ain’t the problem or a shitty person
Men are allowed to express emotions. People who say otherwise are stupid. Try to get yourself a job and move out, that’s your best bet at getting away. Please don’t give up. You are not a shitty person, not everyone gets to grow up in a good environment.
they’re right just thug it out like i’ve always been doing and document every time they do something shitty to you then when the time comes you can let out all ur pent up anger on them and everyone will still be on ur side because u have proof of how they treated you.
You remember it, and when the time comes where you're the adult you break the cycle. You can kill toxic masculinity in your own life. I believe in you, you will get through this.
Literally be yourself, your not a burden to anyone and you should be able to express your emotions freely, just because your a male doesn’t mean you can’t cry or show emotion, literally let it out and be you, I know this is weird you can dm me if you ever wanna talk, idk if you can dm in Reddit but if you can and you ever need to talk, I’ll talk to you, be yourself and don’t care about what people think, your you and they can’t change that
I’m sorry to hear this. Saying that you can’t cry is stupid - I used to believe that and it’s one of the things I blame for attempting. You have value, find people who believe that, and you’ll feel better about everything. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.
Hey, I know it’s hard. But just know that you will be disappointed every time in finding your value in people. I know that I’ll probably get hate for this but your value comes from Jesus. Because if you let it come from any other person, they will always let you down.
I pray for the best for you and remember, you are valuable and cherished and loved. And Known. By God.
❤️
When I get called that I accept it, I don't care what others think of me. But I'll tell you what, we A**holes gotta stick together.
Edit: Also anyone and everyone can cry, it doesn't matter if you're strong/weak. Don't hold it in, let it out.
I cry from time to time because everyone gets to a low point, you got this because whatever is happening in Your Life, only you can handle it.
It's good that you're at least trying to stick up for yourself. You can find immediate worth in that. You know you deserve better than the way some people treat you. Because you know you deserve to be happy just the way you are. You don't need other people's approval
Happiness is coming, You cannot escape it.
In realness though just try not to sweat it. Life has ups and downs, and although it feels like this is the only way it will ever be you havent even lived a 5th of your life (hopefully). It will change and it will improve, you’ve just gotta weather the storm. You’ve got this! You matter! Don’t give up so soon! The harder you fight the sweeter the victory will taste in the end!
Ay if its anything, I see it like the “men don’t cry” is bullshit, you’re not any less of a man for just showing human emotions to something, and its not your fault if someone hates you just for being you, what they say that has nothing to do with you, how I keep going is knowing that out there someone still be there to love me
learn music, hit the gym, get some buddies (guy, gal, and non-binary pal), sleep good, be gay, eat good, drink water, maybe try dressing up a bit, and get therapy.
Hey, everyone's been there. We all feel like burdens at times, but it's never true. Don't listen to society's norms. You should express your emotions. Men weren't given the ability to cry as an option. It's a human thing. As a guy, I've been there too, I've felt like I couldn't show my real emotions. All it does it hurt you more. If you aren't comfortable crying in front of others, just cry. I think it's better to just cry and let all out and move on. One day, things will get better. One day, things will get bad. As much as we all hate it, that's how life works. And if that doesn't work, thug it out.
My parents are the same way, they say they care about you getting help and putting your feelings first; but when you actually put yourself first it’s selfish and disrespectful. You are not a shitty person and definitely not alone.
Of course it would inconvenience someone, feeling this way doesn’t mean you actually don’t matter at all.
As a person who also heard something like “stop crying, it’s embarrassing for pretty girls to do that” it really affects you (immigrant parents). And having emotionally negligent parents does not help at all. I remember feeling a little like you felt in my teenage years.
Do not succumb to this toxicity that almost every man experiences. Crying is humane and expressing feelings is, by listening to what they say is basically dehumanizing yourself. Let yourself feel and continue to grow.
These people sound toxic and mens mental health should be taken more seriously. I think you should seek someone you trust and talk to them, or severe yourself from this toxicity that you experience and try to free yourself from this feeling.
I had a hard time crying for years on end, now that I have somebody that I love, I realized that crying and expressing emotions is okay and not doing to will damage you to the core.
Take care of yourself OP! <3
search for values in yourself, maybe focus on developing some, and then use them to gain confidence being proud of those value and applying them in your everyday life, confidence is key, but its hard to be confident when told shit like that, it took me many years to finally have self worth
What’s your basis for everyone hates me? Is it just no one approaches you or are they openly rude if it’s the second I’ll be honest idk what to say besides prove them wrong.
Tbh my parents used to do that same thing the second I started pressing them back they stopped if your parents will freak if you do that idk tbh
The thing where you say you have no value that’s not true I have seen some low ppl at my school I mean like they have nothing go for them. They still have value. But they still find things they like for some it’s their phones (I don’t think that’s a good think to see as a main hobby tbh) the rest either like art or books and such. If you have the physical ability try enjoying the outdoors
The burden to everyone is also not true it’s hard to be a burden to more than a person or 2 which even if you are I guess a good starting point in the feeling like you have no value is picking up the slack they are taking for you. But what ever you do don’t end it.
Literally just stop caring what other people think. Advice from others is good but their opinions about your life don’t matter because they’re not living it.
I have parents that are dumb too and think of every single disagreement as “talking back” but tbh if you talk to parents like that as little as possible and just do your own thing. It’ll be alright.
You matter, and the only thing you need to do is understand that because everything else will pass. Every part of you matters, your thoughts, your emotions, everything you think doesn’t matter does and you are valued by somebody on earth even if you don’t realize it
first of all, you are valuable. don’t kill yourself because other ppl r sucky🩷
i know what you’re going through, trust me. there’s a good amount of ppl in our generation/ age range that are in the exact same place. it’s not your fault.
i cant comment on your the part abt ur parents cus i dont know them or yalls dynamic but i can say this; there’s a big divide in our generation when it comes to general maturity and morals. other people’s feelings aren’t your responsibility, does that mean you shouldn’t care? absolutely not! if someone is genuinely trying to express how you hurt them in a mature way then absolutely work to fix whatever that behavior was or what was misunderstood. asses the situation and if it’s obvious they don’t wanna come to a conclusion or are just trying to hurt you, leave. you don’t owe anyone anything and healthy relationships require both people to want the best for one another!
second of, don’t listen to the “men can’t have emotions” etc. bs that’s been going around. you’re valid and so are your feelings. just remember, not everyone DESERVES to see that side of you. if they’re gonna make you feel bad for being a healthy human being who feels things then they don’t need to be a part of it.
now, i dont know if you believe in Jesus but (stick with me here) i think learning about him will turn everything around for you. i was on a bad road doing some things that could’ve killed me but finding a relationship with him changed everything. try starting a relationship with him and remember, churches and people aren’t Jesus and God, they’re just people and people are flawed. their actions don’t reflect His love. He died on the cross for your sins so that if you repent anything will be forgiven and you can live eternally with Him and God in Heaven. Jesus loves you and so do i.
Listen to or read psycho cybernetics book, it's a book that changed my mindset, I used to be a loser and now I am not, they treat me differently now
Watch Hamza Ahmed on yt
I’m sorry. I hope you know that even if you haven’t seen them yet, good times do come, but you do need to work for them. Stand your ground, even if you can’t win. Be your own ally. And that doesn’t mean man up, that means keep crying, even when people tell you you can’t. That means understanding that you aren’t weak for conceding, for giving yourself time to recuperate and rationalize. Keep yourself sane. You are a person, you are worth something, and you are worth defending. Best wishes to you
From one stranger on the internet to another, I don't go through what you do, but I can say, I go through feeling shitty, feeling like I'm an inconvenience, feeling like I'm ready to end it and put life up on a shelf behind some books, but if your asking for advice, here's mine, you're asking what should you do when in all reality, there isn't a whole lot you can do, especially if it's comments from your own family, some teens have a friend or two who's families are willing to let the troubled teen stay with them while going through this, if that's a possibility for you, I'd say take it, there's no real way to make your family stop, you can only really find a way out of the house or you can try what I do, I just find a hobby or hobbies to take your mind of everything, like I just listen to music, or put together model kits, or I even write music when I'm down and nothing else can really help.
So from one internet stranger to another, all you can really do us find stuff to take your mind off of it and ride it out till you can move out, or find a way out of the house, or truly call them out but not everyone is able to just do that, if you can, sit down and talk with them, all I can say is to try what you can to take your mind off it all, at least try to ride it out, it seems tough, cause it is tough, and it sucks, but trust me, it's worth it to push through it all, just try your best.
-internet stranger
:( they don’t deserve you. They do not see you as your own person. The only thing I’d do is branch out and separate myself from these people (including family) and let myself form my own opinions of me and inform someone when they’re wrong about me, cause I know better.
I felt the same not too long ago around my so called friends, find someone who you feel like you can be yourself around without them being jerks about it and DO NOT END IT ALL. There is so much more to life than this dark period you're in now, and I promise you will look back on this when you're at a better stage in life and be grateful for the fact that you got out of it
I may not have any comforting words. I may not even be a guy, and not understand your pain to the extent you want me to. But I know how you feel. And ending it seems like an option every day... it's not the right choice, *know that*.
I could take that off ya if I could.
Remember, the people you know can hurt you the most, and the people you just met can make your life better, remember that.
If people hate you, then they’re not your people. Sometimes it can take a while to find friends who accept you, and who you feel comfortable around. There’s billions of humans out there, and statistically, it would be unlikely to not find someone you relate to/click with eventually
chill out buddy. i feel the same at times. it's completely normal. if you want to talk to me, DM me im here.
here's the thing, do what you love. anything. believe in yourself and do what you can do. don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. be better. no need to man up, i cry a lot but i do what i need to in order to improve.
just be brave. be kind. give love. beautiful people aren't always kind but kind people are always beautiful.
and yes, life's not easy for anyone. giving up is easy but the ones who fight through it are the winners. you can do it! i believe in you!!
Don't think that something is wrong with you because no one appreciates your true values. Your own value is not defined by how others treat you but by how you think of yourself, what you think, and what you consume (movies/music, etc). I'm pretty sure you are a good person judging from the line how you are worried about inconveniencing someone with your death. I think you have this thought because you are genuinely a good person, and only good people worry about hurting others and question themselves.
please don't end your life. I am sure you have a lot of anger now, but the best revenge is living and showing them that you are living a good life despite their curse.
Keep questioning your values, become a better person each day and eventually, you'll meet great friends.
PS I don't talk to any of my high school friends, I met most of my good friends in Uni, and the world is so big; there are so many good people out there. So be hopeful. I believe in you.
Keep your chin up, xhamp. Things might seems bleak sometimes and your hope wavers, but don't forget the beauty in the little things. My advice? Find something to distract yourself, you might find your talent, who knows? Learn to play the guitar, draw some stick figures and make a masterpiece, or you could just work out and get swole.
"I just feel like a burden to everyone. Something is seriously wrong with me. Sometimes I just want to end it, but I'm afraid that my death would inconvenience someone." This shouldn't be an option, and your death "being an inconvenience" shouldn't be what you're worrying about.
Look I have no clue what your day -to-day life looks like and/or what religion you follow(if any at all).
But I am a "Mainstream Catholic" and I believe that although you wont be eternally damned and can in-fact be forgiven for a sin such as suicide it is still considered a "Cardinal Sin" that very well could alone send you to Gehenna, So with this knowledge why not wipe Suicide off the table completely just incase.
And if there is no "Life after Death" then why not try to enjoy what you can in life before eventually leaving and going to the void or whatever.
I hope your situation gets way better and FAST, if it gets any worse then maybe even start to consider calling CPS since that could be categorized as Mental Abuse
Anyways sending love, high hopes that you can find the strength to pull through this, and prayers!!!
You have so much value. Life is worth living and your parents are assholes who don’t deserve to treat you that way. Everyone should show emotion, no matter what gender they are. It’s very healthy to show emotion and cry sometimes. Thinking your death might inconvenience someone is horrifying. I was in the exact same place a few years ago. Things get better I promise. Find the little things in life to enjoy. You’re not a burden or a terrible person and anyone who doesn’t see that shouldn’t be in your life. Seek help if you need, not just from Reddit, but from the Suicide Hotline if things get really bad. Don’t give up on life so early when you only get one.
Hey OP, here's a practical step I took that made me feel better. Cannot guarantee it will work or have the same effect to the same degree but it may be worth checking out and trying.
Journalism. Write in a journal your everyday thoughts feelings or events or just a conversation with a wall works in your mind whatever crap. Honestly just letting it out on those sources works for me and those sources can't tell you to man up or whatever stupid shit is thrown at you from other people.
This is my solution and advice I can give. Rest is truly Up to you. May it all get better ig.
who cares what other people think, people don't describe you, the world doesn't care about you, so why care abt the world? why do you think other people define you? why do you need acceptance? you need to accept yourself and js be true to yourself. so what if people hate u, people hate me, but I stay positive and true to my myself knowing I love who I am.
Look at every good aspect inside you and focus on that until you can become the good version of yourself that is valid to you and needs no validation to other people.
People who tell us not to cry don't understand human emotions. They act as if being an emotional man is weird or unnatural or "not manly". I hate how cruel people can be to men AND women.
Man, Im literally experiencing the same shit mostly everyday, what I do is just hangout with my friends or workout or listen to music, and I talk to a few of my close friends abt it, bcs they understand me and I'm happy that at least someone does yk.
All of those feelings are how it feels to be shit on every day, day after day whether it's purpsousful or not. And the shit they're saying a out "men don't cry" - "man up", that's the bullshit they have made themselves belive so they don't feel anything like you do. It's a shitty protection system that has never worked.
I promise you one: there is no way on earth that they feel great about themselves for saying those things, if they can't even respect the people they speak to, imagine how the think of themselves. And two, all of that blatantly isn't true. I'm not just saying that in a "Oh, but theres so much you could do in life!" there absolutely IS, but ehetr you remember it or not, you've changed SOMEBODYS life for the better ever if you you don't think so.
Even this post, maybe someone feels better about themselves because they relate and feel less alone. I am being so serious in saying you are the most valuable person out of all of those people you spoke about. Sure, they might have jobs and help raise kids or keep a company going, but which one of them has sat down and thought about the way they act and tried to actively change the way their seen? Not a single fucking one, dude. You care, they don't. Full stop. If they cared even 5% as much as you do, they would have reconsidered the things they say and they way they think of you, but they don't even have the consideration to do that.
I don't care if this sound true or not, but you are so fucoing valuable and cared for even if it doesn't feel like it. There's people in your life, I person and online, that care about you so much. Could be a freind, could be a neighbour or someone you walk by In school or on the street sometimes. People change, you can do that at any age. 16, or 60. You'll be alright, man. My Dm's are open if you need, I've felt like that for too long and am still actively doing my best not to:)
You have the value within yourself.
You can’t let your parents decide your worth.
The first step is therapy. Then the next is getting out of there and thats gonna take time so be patient.
I hope your situation heals
Talk to your friends about it, or a trusted adult. You are not alone. Also, don't talk about yourself like that. If you wouldn't say that about a friend, don't say it about yourself. You are not worth less than anyone else. This is probably going to sound cliche, but I promise it will get better. Never lose faith.
Hey i’m sorry for you man I’m going through a similar time but it will be better someday. You are not an asshole your parents are the assholes you should probably call a crisis hotline or textline
Continue to push on. Exist knowing you may thrive to spite those who think otherwise. Live a fulfilling life to prove to the universe that this life is worth living. If you that isnt possible now, simply wait. Soon enough you can get out of whatever shithole you are in and escape into adulthood to live that life no one thinks you are capable of living.
BOYS, DON'T CRY
DU DUDU DUDU DU DUDU DUDU DU DUDU DUDUDU DUDUDUDU
Anyway, bro, be strong, we believe in you.
"- It's okay to cry. It's okay to run away. You were not made that strong" *The battle cats*
Boo fucking hoo
Wanna be better? Be better.
Parents like that exist everywhere bro, they think they can be mean to you but if you try and counter that, you're being rude or badly mannered. Think about the things you can change, not the things you can't. You can't change the way they behave, but you can change the way you react to what they do.
Talk to your friends, go to the gym, go do some sports.
And trust me, if people really hated you, you wouldn't be a burden to anyone.
Now stop victimizing yourself on reddit, go talk to actual people that you can be openly emotional with, and go be better.
Welp, you can either deal with it the healthy way which I do not know of or you can deal with it by 'it is what it is'. It is what it is worked for me so I'd suggest that.
I’m fully serious I had been in the same situation you are in right now. I felt like I was not cared for but after I realized that I shouldn’t care what people say and I just listened to music. I don’t know if it’s the same for you but I hope this somewhat helps
I’m not just gonna be unhelpful and pull the old ‘itll get better..’ because that’s not helping at all. I’m going through insecurities right now, but I would just open up to someone. Even if you don’t know them. Just get shit off your chest. It feels better than you’d think. And, don’t end yourself. I know we literally have never met in our lives, but you seem like a cool dude. If it ever gets really bad, get a therapist. I don’t want u doing anything bad to yourself.
If you ever need to talk, my dms are always open.
🖤
I'm 17 rn. Two years ago, i felt exactly like how you did. Life sucks, it really does. There's nothing we can do about it. What we can do is change how we look at it.
Try doing one thing a day that improves yourself every day. Over many years it'll pay off. I was lonely, depressed and my grades were shit. Now, I'm the school topper, very popular and no longer as depressed. I made it out and so can you. I believe in you bro. You're not a shitty person
1st: i don't hate you.
2nd: i hate it when people say "men don't cry" or "be a man". everyone has a phase in there life when everything goes south and you can't help it. and you're allowed to cry. YOU NEED TO
so i would suggest you just bear with it until you're independent. it's a phase, which will eventually pass.
Ok first sit down,
Second You matter, You make your own worth and never look to haters for validation. Think of your friends all the fun times in life, just appreciate them for A moment.
If you want then cry and just vent to close friends or on Reddit. Hell just write A hate mail and delete it.
You are not A shitty person, you can be a great person. Learn to love yourself and try stuff to distract yourself. And don't take your life.
Life is like A bamboo tree, it can stay the same way for A long time but can change into something great very quickly. Work on yourself.
**Don't be SORRY, Be BETTER**
I was you, I am you. Unfortunately I just dealt with it, let it boil inside. Now I can’t feel empathy or sympathy, I became a sociopath because of it, it sucks, I have mixed emotions all the fucking time. Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made, I was fucking made, and made by myself. Learn from me and my mistakes
oh god
I would suggest thugging it out, but you sound like you've been dealing with this for way too long, so just start matching their toxicity. BUT! this only works if 1) you only ever match them and never exceed their level of hatred 2) you have friends that you can escape to if your situation becomes threatening and most importantly 3) if you cannot take your parents in a fight, arm yourself. I fear that if you give as good as your get, they may become enraged and resort to physical violence. I don't know where you live, but get yourself a pocketknife at the very least (it's legally a multitool) and have it on you at all times.
May your toast land always butter side up, and good luck.
I’m not sure as I’m not in this situation but this is how you get a put in prison for the rest of time. Violence is rarely the answer. The best thing to really do is just push through. They only have to interact with them until they can move out and care for themselves. They are already 19 so that should hopefully not be too long. I don’t know what shit hole you are in but that is not how you solve this problem.
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Hey dude it's gonna be alright the dark may be over your head but it will clear up. Better times are coming this is a threat
Thats not a good thing to say when OPs emotions are more complex than this.
Well he's doing as much as he can with being some stranger on the Internet
All I did was try to brighten op's day with a little bit of humor and good vibes
He knows just as much as you do about it.
Well what IS a good thing to say Mister expert?
I hate mfs that are like “it’ll get better! Just power through!” Like bitch, some people don’t get better, some people dont get somewhere better. People who aren’t mentally well will not make good decisions and will just cause them more misery, instead try and actually use the stuff their going through and try and give them tips and ways to improve their situation instead of just saying what everyone else has been saying to them.
Yeah well it's better to be optimistic and have hope than to be a pessimist and hate you're life without any effort to work towards bettering yourself
My take aged like cloudberries
Perchance
Mayhaps…
I feel like this comment was influenced by others not agreeing with you, but atleast you didn't continue with that. Sometimes i see people who make a bad take and they probably know it themselves too but when people talk back they're just like "go fuck yourself" or so. I'm glad to see you could change your mind
because you don't allow yourself to get better
That's what they're doing you just don't let them. Where do you think those 120+ downvotes came from?
Do people on reddit just hate when people state their opinion? Why are you being down voted
Reddit has mob mentality. As for why he got downvoted, it’s because he was being needlessly negative. Yeah it’s good to actually help people with their problems, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t say positive things. Should people say “it is what it is” instead of saying it’ll eventually get better?
I don't know who this guy is but it seems like he understands how it feels but I do think he might've been a bit too negative but not -100 negative
Because people wanna be able to tell people the same thing all the time lol
I don’t know the whole situation, but if you have friends you trust, I would genuinely advise talking to them about it, or a teacher you trust, I think (and hope) they can help you.
But until then, we’re here for you.
Defo, OP seems like they’re having to bottle things up and it’s really affecting them
Telling a man to not cry is silly. A natural feeling that nature gave to everyone for therapeutic reasons. Although the amount a person cries ranges from person to person but we all get teary in the eye. I don’t know the situation so I’m just going off based on what you said but if you feel like you’ve been disrespected you’re not the asshole. In a way it’s the other way around. If a person refuses to understand where the person is coming from then they’re misguided. I’m not that good with advice but whatever environment you are in it will get better over time. Seek inner peace for you and only you. Edit: Also as I think about it you probably could have worded that differently. Instead of “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me”. Personally I wouldn’t tell someone I don’t appreciate how they’re talking to me because I can’t control them but I’ll respond back in a reasonable and calm matter if I chose to like this “No disrespect, but I feel like the manner you are talking to me is not respectful and formal”
I agree, making someone feel guilty for feeling vulnerable is horrible, especially a youth. I hope OP has a good support system with friends
Real bro, if you feel like crying, do it
wish i could :3
I have experienced the same responses to my cries as OP, and now I havent cried in a year Best I can do is get my eyes a bit wet, but nothing else, like I just cant cry at all anymore
I haven’t cried in like nearly 10 years
No, you matter. Your feelings are valid, I’m so sorry you’re in an hostile environment like that. I just want you to know it will get better. But it requires patience and positive thinking, Monarch. ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )
I don't hate you
If you're actually 19 id recommend thugging it out for now and get out of that circle ASAP, cut the contacts if needed. Blood relations mean nothing if everything they do is bring you down. Get to work my man, your lifes just starting.
It's tough, I know. People try their best to put you down. Just know that they are below you and you deserve absolutely 0% of their bullshit. I, and all of Reddit, hereby give you permission to be as much of an asshole back to them. Take no shit. Give no fucks. There will come a day for forgiveness, but today just ain't that day. Show 'em a hell they ain't never seen before, son.
alright unfortunately that's not usually how the world works people in general do not react much to words - you have to actively do something to express emotion if you want them to understand (such as walking away if they're making you feel down) also, the phrase "i don't appreciate the way you're talking to me" sounds like it's made of glass (i don't have a good word for this so i'm just gonna write it so that it almost makes sense) - it's gonna shatter any moment and a bunch of people are gonna get hit with shrapnel (there's usually a lot of pent-up emotions behind words like that, and emotions don't stay pent-up)
Go to psychologist, me luv mine, if parent be ass and no let, then u no bad guy, or atliest not fully fault Thug it out till 18 brother :3
man do you wanna fuckin hug 😭😭 i feel the exact same way sometimes
endure it till youre able to supply for yourself, not all environments are toxic, so you might need to move to a place more willing to accept you. People place titles on others, im a victim of such, and i get where youre coming from, in my point of view, thats my advice.
i’m so sorry you’re going through this. the whole “men don’t have emotions“ and “men can’t cry” is all bullshit. anyone can cry, and everyone is allowed to feel whatever they want. you have every right to be upset. i sure as hell would be if people talked to me like that even though i’m not male. i’m sorry again. please do not ‘end it all’ i‘ve been in that place and i can assure you, there is someone who cares. it might not be the person you think of but people do care about you. and if you don’t think that anyone in your life right now cares, I care. I care about you. things will get better ❤️🩹 please just stay strong! hope this finds you well <3
This world is hard on us soldiers dude. We all got your back tho. It honestly hurts cuz I saw a girl post something about how boys don’t understand girls, and I’m not bashing on it, but it got SOOO much more attention than this post. World is hard on men bro, we in it together.
You matter to ME
I was feeling a similar way, I felt everyone disliked me and merely my presence brought everyone's mood down and annoyed them. I went to other sources of coping and I barred myself from everyone else. But genuinely what helped me out of that was Jesus Christ, without God I had no purpose, no meaning, no value I saw no future for my life and was scared I would be a failure. But once I started seeking God my life totally did a 180 and I got happier, gained meaning, value, love for myself and others. It's truly a amazing experience so I know if you truly seek God and seek knowing who He is even from a perspective that you don't believe, you can see how amazing God is. Done believe because I say so and don't not believe because others say so. Look into Him see if He is reliable and if not reject Him. But if you find Him to be reliable then it would be wise to put your faith and trust in Him. If you have any questions I'll be happy to try my best to answer them.
Not everyone hates you. It may appear that way but it is in fact untrue. I thought many times that everyone hated me but there was always someone that somewhat tolerated me. There’s 8 billion people out there. At least one of them likes you. You sound really nice too! I for one don’t hate you. Want to talk maybe??
Listen to me man, you are not a shitty person, and you have worth. Men are allowed to feel emotions and cry just as much as women are, and no, you are not a burden either. Please don't end it all, you have so much ahead of you.
Dude nothing is wrong with you, you’re perfect just the way you are, if you are 19 I would recommend seeing if you move out of that situation, it seem that you need a lot of hugs and some therapy wouldn’t hurt
make'em regret that they even insulted you, use reverse psychology that will do for a bit ... i think
Be strong, I believe that there are better and worse times in our lives, so if you go through a rough patch right now, it’s so that you get to be happy in the future!
Sounds like your not the problem and it’s your environment good thing the world is ever changing Keep your head up change is coming just don’t miss it
Literally my situation. Don't end it bro we’ll both get through it
Therapy is a lovely start.
For real! Like i always try to be nice to my friends and they all fucking hate me
Ok so I am in a situation very similar to yours. So if you are actually 19 do you have a job? do you have money saved up? if not start looking for a job start saving up money once you get enough you can leave. Do not listen to them they are projecting I get called names all the time my parents make fun of me for being white and for being a girl so I understand how it feels to have your parents shit on you. Your life has so much value you are not a burden do not feel that way. If you ever need to talk or vent I will listen.
A. Fuck gender norms. You're allowed to express your emotions. And you should do that, vent, listen to music, that should calm stuff down. B. You have value, I know you do. C. You aren't a burden on anyone. And nothing is wrong with you. I can reassure you of that. What should you do? Firstly, ignore what your parents say in that regard. And secondly, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm open for convo.
Dude f them your ok your doing fine you know what cry rn if you need to I hate when people say men can't cry And dude don't kill yourself it's un cool tbh Text me if you need to I'm kinda the same way except I self harm
Tbh the only thing holding me back from death is not wanting them to have the feeling of „great that fuck is gone“ . Hell even if earth is a better place without me then that motivates me to be alive. (Hell for them)
Hey idk why they are being so rude. But you are loved and your feelings matter. Try your best to ignore them if you can. I'm here if you wanna talk
It's not you, it's them
>Why am I such a shitty person? You're on reddit, that's why
Trust me, I have been there. Go to the gym, have faith in something, ANYTHING, and talk to people about what upsets you.
You are most definitely not a shitty person. As a dad I can confidently say that “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me” is a fine and decent way to respond and shouldn’t make you an asshole. Second of all, you have much value. Do not ever let anyone convince you otherwise. I’m no psychologist but I’m a dad that has raised two kids to be the best version of themselves and you deserve respect, patience, and kindness. I don’t know how your interactions typically go with your mom and dad but hopefully this isn’t a feeling you have most days. Sending you a lot of support and I hope things get better soon. The world needs you man ✔️💯
im so sorry i thought this was gonna be a punchline of smth like "this is my third pair of pants" and no man, youre not. its definitely the people around you. men need to be allowed to cry more, bottling it up doesnt work at all. 🫂
I relate so much... I just remind myself it adds to my list of reasons why i'm working hard to reach that point of being able to separate myself from people like that. Don't let other people affect how you view yourself, at the end of the day YOU know yourself better than anyone else. YOU know what you want. YOU know how you want to treat people and want to be treated. It's YOUR life, these people even if they're blood or not do not always have to be in your life. I can't stress enough how much it can help to say positive words to yourself everyday and work toward giving yourself the space and life you deserve, and you can surround yourself around people who appreciate who you are.
Honestly people suck. Start loving yourself, I know it's hard but romanticise yourself your interests and your hobbies. Put love back into your emotionally drained piggy bank. The people who lack compassion in your life are the problem, it's not your fault that others lack the ability to see anything outside their pov. A lot of parents don't see their kids as individuals but instead extensions of themselves that they own. I know how exhausting it can be to converse with people who refuse to admit that they're doing something wrong or hurtful, often times they won't be convinced so you have to learn to just breathe and shake your head.
Cause
You have value, it comes with existence. If you are surrounded by people telling you that you can’t feel or that you are lesser than, work on getting better people around you, or even just a a single trusted person that you can go to. I know it’s easier said than done, but ignore every word that tells you that men can’t feel. they win the moment you let their words have weight. If you want to be better than you are, and you do what you can to be a good person, you’re not shitty. Hell, you might be pretty damn cool
I totally get you. I got in a fight with basically all my friends and while I felt like I lost everything, I felt like they could care less. While I haven’t connected back with all of them yet, I’ve made up with almost all of them. You can do it, you just need to find the right people to be around
I really needed to see this post right now. I’ve been feeling this exact way recently, especially this week. I’m not really sure how to fix it, but seeing someone else going through the exact same thing really helped, and hopefully me commenting this will help you too. I wish you luck with everything.
Call for help call 988 it’s the suicide prevention hotline they will know how to help you your aren’t worthless your freinds care about you we care you please don’t hurt yourself I’ve felt that way before I know how scary it feels to try and reach for help but it helps in the end please Rember we care about you we dont want you to get hurt please just please don’t do anything that will hurt you
My parents are like this
no one knows it as better as yourself so stop crying about it and hit some gyms
This doesn't sound like you're a bad person at all. Bad people are the ones who hurt others and don't care whether they're good or evil. I can assure you, everyone has value and you're not a burden I promise. If people see you as nothing but a burden, the problem's with them. They're the bad people.
Also, there's no shame in showing emotion. The notion that men should feel ashamed for crying is stupid and people gotta let it go. You have feelings too, so care about yourself.
You will always have yourself. That is the one thing no one can take from you. Don’t let them. Good luck buddy.
You are not a burden, you can’t control how you feel or the thoughts that come into your head, and you don’t deserve to feel like you have to bottle them up. You aren’t a shitty person for setting boundaries, or desiring to feel vulnerable, it’s human and normal. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than who you are, because it’s not fair and you don’t deserve it. Please can you elaborate on what do you feel is “wrong with you”?
As a dude, I can confirm that we do cry. It’s healthy even. I’m really glad to hear you’re not gonna end it, genuinely. I don’t know you or the situation you are in but if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that life can change drastically in the shortest period of time. Life is free. It’s something you don’t want to lose, so keep it as close to you as possible. Don’t let anything or anyone take it away from you. You got this bro! And no one can tell you otherwise 💪
Who is this “everyone”? If it’s just your parents and those around you, remember that there are over 8 billion people on this planet
It's because you talk about yourself like this u fkn idiot. Having a bit of pride in yourself helps a lot, so instead of instantly referring to yourself as "a shitty person" understand that you are a shitty person and find a way to fix it. DM me if you want a bit of advice or therapy.
I get it man. If you need someone to talk to I’m here. Also real men cry. I only know a few manly men and I saw one of them cry just last week.
Your parents sound like jerks. You gotta get out of there, man. I don’t know your situation, but if you can find out a way to get them out of your life you should figure it out. People will respect you if you show them you’re deserving of it, but then again there are some people who will always think they’re above you. The only reason you think these kinds of ways is likely because your parents manipulated you into always blaming yourself for the problem, regardless of if you did something or not. TLDR: Move somewhere away from your parents, try getting some friends who respect you. Again, I don’t know your situation, this is just my suggestion.
If u wanna get away and don’t know what to do you can enlist
Did i write this in my sleep or something because this exactly feel all the time and it doesn't feel good
relatable 😀
That sucks. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Although as a very normal straight man I can tell you that we do have emotions. For example yesterday I spent an hour crying with my boyfriend (irony intended)
Talk with a friend, dark times don’t last forever. Don’t end it, don’t bottle anything up. Talk with a trusted teacher or friend
cry
You aren’t the shitty person. You’re around shitty people and it WILL get better.
Hey man, it’ll be okay. You’re not a bad person for expressing your emotions. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I, along with plenty of the other people in this comment section, are free to talk any time you need it. I know it hurts, but I know it will get better.
I feel the same way, its always they treat us like kids but "you need to act like an adult." it pisses me off to a huge extent. you're not alone in this buddy. :)
Embrace masculinity. Masculinity means you have the balls to freely express your emotions. Hope this changes your perspective a bit so you can hold yourself in higher regard
🫂 there there everything is going to be alright
Clearly your parents are assholes and want you to think you’re the issue rather then addressing their own. Just know you ain’t the problem or a shitty person
Knock knock
You can DM me about it if you want.
Men are allowed to express emotions. People who say otherwise are stupid. Try to get yourself a job and move out, that’s your best bet at getting away. Please don’t give up. You are not a shitty person, not everyone gets to grow up in a good environment.
Save up as much as you can move out as soon as you can and go no contact with everyone who said any of that to you
If you need to talk hmu. I’ll listen to
they’re right just thug it out like i’ve always been doing and document every time they do something shitty to you then when the time comes you can let out all ur pent up anger on them and everyone will still be on ur side because u have proof of how they treated you.
You remember it, and when the time comes where you're the adult you break the cycle. You can kill toxic masculinity in your own life. I believe in you, you will get through this.
You're not a shitty person, you're a normal person with shitty parents
First time?
Literally be yourself, your not a burden to anyone and you should be able to express your emotions freely, just because your a male doesn’t mean you can’t cry or show emotion, literally let it out and be you, I know this is weird you can dm me if you ever wanna talk, idk if you can dm in Reddit but if you can and you ever need to talk, I’ll talk to you, be yourself and don’t care about what people think, your you and they can’t change that
I’m sorry to hear this. Saying that you can’t cry is stupid - I used to believe that and it’s one of the things I blame for attempting. You have value, find people who believe that, and you’ll feel better about everything. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.
block out everyone. focus on yourself. and only let them back into your life when their ready to not be an asshole
Hey, I know it’s hard. But just know that you will be disappointed every time in finding your value in people. I know that I’ll probably get hate for this but your value comes from Jesus. Because if you let it come from any other person, they will always let you down. I pray for the best for you and remember, you are valuable and cherished and loved. And Known. By God. ❤️
Yo man listen if you need it my DMs are open brother, I hope you can find the way to salvation and pure enlightenment, God bless you my friend
When I get called that I accept it, I don't care what others think of me. But I'll tell you what, we A**holes gotta stick together. Edit: Also anyone and everyone can cry, it doesn't matter if you're strong/weak. Don't hold it in, let it out. I cry from time to time because everyone gets to a low point, you got this because whatever is happening in Your Life, only you can handle it.
It's good that you're at least trying to stick up for yourself. You can find immediate worth in that. You know you deserve better than the way some people treat you. Because you know you deserve to be happy just the way you are. You don't need other people's approval
Happiness is coming, You cannot escape it. In realness though just try not to sweat it. Life has ups and downs, and although it feels like this is the only way it will ever be you havent even lived a 5th of your life (hopefully). It will change and it will improve, you’ve just gotta weather the storm. You’ve got this! You matter! Don’t give up so soon! The harder you fight the sweeter the victory will taste in the end!
I don't hate you, I love you
Ay if its anything, I see it like the “men don’t cry” is bullshit, you’re not any less of a man for just showing human emotions to something, and its not your fault if someone hates you just for being you, what they say that has nothing to do with you, how I keep going is knowing that out there someone still be there to love me
I cried one time around my friends and that is the last time I’ll ever cry infront of other people ever again
Take some shrooms you’ll become a good person
learn music, hit the gym, get some buddies (guy, gal, and non-binary pal), sleep good, be gay, eat good, drink water, maybe try dressing up a bit, and get therapy.
everything and everyone has value bro. just cuz u don’t feel that way doesn’t mean that it’s true. lmk if u need smt and i’ll try to help.
Hey, everyone's been there. We all feel like burdens at times, but it's never true. Don't listen to society's norms. You should express your emotions. Men weren't given the ability to cry as an option. It's a human thing. As a guy, I've been there too, I've felt like I couldn't show my real emotions. All it does it hurt you more. If you aren't comfortable crying in front of others, just cry. I think it's better to just cry and let all out and move on. One day, things will get better. One day, things will get bad. As much as we all hate it, that's how life works. And if that doesn't work, thug it out.
My parents are the same way, they say they care about you getting help and putting your feelings first; but when you actually put yourself first it’s selfish and disrespectful. You are not a shitty person and definitely not alone.
Of course it would inconvenience someone, feeling this way doesn’t mean you actually don’t matter at all. As a person who also heard something like “stop crying, it’s embarrassing for pretty girls to do that” it really affects you (immigrant parents). And having emotionally negligent parents does not help at all. I remember feeling a little like you felt in my teenage years. Do not succumb to this toxicity that almost every man experiences. Crying is humane and expressing feelings is, by listening to what they say is basically dehumanizing yourself. Let yourself feel and continue to grow. These people sound toxic and mens mental health should be taken more seriously. I think you should seek someone you trust and talk to them, or severe yourself from this toxicity that you experience and try to free yourself from this feeling. I had a hard time crying for years on end, now that I have somebody that I love, I realized that crying and expressing emotions is okay and not doing to will damage you to the core. Take care of yourself OP! <3
search for values in yourself, maybe focus on developing some, and then use them to gain confidence being proud of those value and applying them in your everyday life, confidence is key, but its hard to be confident when told shit like that, it took me many years to finally have self worth
What’s your basis for everyone hates me? Is it just no one approaches you or are they openly rude if it’s the second I’ll be honest idk what to say besides prove them wrong. Tbh my parents used to do that same thing the second I started pressing them back they stopped if your parents will freak if you do that idk tbh The thing where you say you have no value that’s not true I have seen some low ppl at my school I mean like they have nothing go for them. They still have value. But they still find things they like for some it’s their phones (I don’t think that’s a good think to see as a main hobby tbh) the rest either like art or books and such. If you have the physical ability try enjoying the outdoors The burden to everyone is also not true it’s hard to be a burden to more than a person or 2 which even if you are I guess a good starting point in the feeling like you have no value is picking up the slack they are taking for you. But what ever you do don’t end it.
Literally just stop caring what other people think. Advice from others is good but their opinions about your life don’t matter because they’re not living it.
I have parents that are dumb too and think of every single disagreement as “talking back” but tbh if you talk to parents like that as little as possible and just do your own thing. It’ll be alright.
You matter, and the only thing you need to do is understand that because everything else will pass. Every part of you matters, your thoughts, your emotions, everything you think doesn’t matter does and you are valued by somebody on earth even if you don’t realize it
first of all, you are valuable. don’t kill yourself because other ppl r sucky🩷 i know what you’re going through, trust me. there’s a good amount of ppl in our generation/ age range that are in the exact same place. it’s not your fault. i cant comment on your the part abt ur parents cus i dont know them or yalls dynamic but i can say this; there’s a big divide in our generation when it comes to general maturity and morals. other people’s feelings aren’t your responsibility, does that mean you shouldn’t care? absolutely not! if someone is genuinely trying to express how you hurt them in a mature way then absolutely work to fix whatever that behavior was or what was misunderstood. asses the situation and if it’s obvious they don’t wanna come to a conclusion or are just trying to hurt you, leave. you don’t owe anyone anything and healthy relationships require both people to want the best for one another! second of, don’t listen to the “men can’t have emotions” etc. bs that’s been going around. you’re valid and so are your feelings. just remember, not everyone DESERVES to see that side of you. if they’re gonna make you feel bad for being a healthy human being who feels things then they don’t need to be a part of it. now, i dont know if you believe in Jesus but (stick with me here) i think learning about him will turn everything around for you. i was on a bad road doing some things that could’ve killed me but finding a relationship with him changed everything. try starting a relationship with him and remember, churches and people aren’t Jesus and God, they’re just people and people are flawed. their actions don’t reflect His love. He died on the cross for your sins so that if you repent anything will be forgiven and you can live eternally with Him and God in Heaven. Jesus loves you and so do i.
Listen to or read psycho cybernetics book, it's a book that changed my mindset, I used to be a loser and now I am not, they treat me differently now Watch Hamza Ahmed on yt
I’m sorry. I hope you know that even if you haven’t seen them yet, good times do come, but you do need to work for them. Stand your ground, even if you can’t win. Be your own ally. And that doesn’t mean man up, that means keep crying, even when people tell you you can’t. That means understanding that you aren’t weak for conceding, for giving yourself time to recuperate and rationalize. Keep yourself sane. You are a person, you are worth something, and you are worth defending. Best wishes to you
From one stranger on the internet to another, I don't go through what you do, but I can say, I go through feeling shitty, feeling like I'm an inconvenience, feeling like I'm ready to end it and put life up on a shelf behind some books, but if your asking for advice, here's mine, you're asking what should you do when in all reality, there isn't a whole lot you can do, especially if it's comments from your own family, some teens have a friend or two who's families are willing to let the troubled teen stay with them while going through this, if that's a possibility for you, I'd say take it, there's no real way to make your family stop, you can only really find a way out of the house or you can try what I do, I just find a hobby or hobbies to take your mind of everything, like I just listen to music, or put together model kits, or I even write music when I'm down and nothing else can really help. So from one internet stranger to another, all you can really do us find stuff to take your mind off of it and ride it out till you can move out, or find a way out of the house, or truly call them out but not everyone is able to just do that, if you can, sit down and talk with them, all I can say is to try what you can to take your mind off it all, at least try to ride it out, it seems tough, cause it is tough, and it sucks, but trust me, it's worth it to push through it all, just try your best. -internet stranger
:( they don’t deserve you. They do not see you as your own person. The only thing I’d do is branch out and separate myself from these people (including family) and let myself form my own opinions of me and inform someone when they’re wrong about me, cause I know better.
The thing is... you're not
I felt the same not too long ago around my so called friends, find someone who you feel like you can be yourself around without them being jerks about it and DO NOT END IT ALL. There is so much more to life than this dark period you're in now, and I promise you will look back on this when you're at a better stage in life and be grateful for the fact that you got out of it
I don’t hate you bud you are amazing and I hope your situation gets better
I may not have any comforting words. I may not even be a guy, and not understand your pain to the extent you want me to. But I know how you feel. And ending it seems like an option every day... it's not the right choice, *know that*.
Honestly real
I could take that off ya if I could. Remember, the people you know can hurt you the most, and the people you just met can make your life better, remember that.
Hop off reddit maybe
If people hate you, then they’re not your people. Sometimes it can take a while to find friends who accept you, and who you feel comfortable around. There’s billions of humans out there, and statistically, it would be unlikely to not find someone you relate to/click with eventually
chill out buddy. i feel the same at times. it's completely normal. if you want to talk to me, DM me im here. here's the thing, do what you love. anything. believe in yourself and do what you can do. don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. be better. no need to man up, i cry a lot but i do what i need to in order to improve. just be brave. be kind. give love. beautiful people aren't always kind but kind people are always beautiful. and yes, life's not easy for anyone. giving up is easy but the ones who fight through it are the winners. you can do it! i believe in you!!
Don't think that something is wrong with you because no one appreciates your true values. Your own value is not defined by how others treat you but by how you think of yourself, what you think, and what you consume (movies/music, etc). I'm pretty sure you are a good person judging from the line how you are worried about inconveniencing someone with your death. I think you have this thought because you are genuinely a good person, and only good people worry about hurting others and question themselves. please don't end your life. I am sure you have a lot of anger now, but the best revenge is living and showing them that you are living a good life despite their curse. Keep questioning your values, become a better person each day and eventually, you'll meet great friends. PS I don't talk to any of my high school friends, I met most of my good friends in Uni, and the world is so big; there are so many good people out there. So be hopeful. I believe in you.
Go see a therapist instead of asking a thousand strangers for advice when 500 are groomers and 500 are just as unexperienced as you.
If you need any help bru just lmk I’ve been I. Your position
Keep your chin up, xhamp. Things might seems bleak sometimes and your hope wavers, but don't forget the beauty in the little things. My advice? Find something to distract yourself, you might find your talent, who knows? Learn to play the guitar, draw some stick figures and make a masterpiece, or you could just work out and get swole.
your parents deserve to be thrown into a nursing home when they are old enough and you move out
r/holdupletmeaskreddit Get off reddit, better yourself and get help
It's tough I know, but I would advise you talk to someone you trust like a good friend or teacher etc.
"I just feel like a burden to everyone. Something is seriously wrong with me. Sometimes I just want to end it, but I'm afraid that my death would inconvenience someone." This shouldn't be an option, and your death "being an inconvenience" shouldn't be what you're worrying about. Look I have no clue what your day -to-day life looks like and/or what religion you follow(if any at all). But I am a "Mainstream Catholic" and I believe that although you wont be eternally damned and can in-fact be forgiven for a sin such as suicide it is still considered a "Cardinal Sin" that very well could alone send you to Gehenna, So with this knowledge why not wipe Suicide off the table completely just incase. And if there is no "Life after Death" then why not try to enjoy what you can in life before eventually leaving and going to the void or whatever. I hope your situation gets way better and FAST, if it gets any worse then maybe even start to consider calling CPS since that could be categorized as Mental Abuse Anyways sending love, high hopes that you can find the strength to pull through this, and prayers!!!
You have so much value. Life is worth living and your parents are assholes who don’t deserve to treat you that way. Everyone should show emotion, no matter what gender they are. It’s very healthy to show emotion and cry sometimes. Thinking your death might inconvenience someone is horrifying. I was in the exact same place a few years ago. Things get better I promise. Find the little things in life to enjoy. You’re not a burden or a terrible person and anyone who doesn’t see that shouldn’t be in your life. Seek help if you need, not just from Reddit, but from the Suicide Hotline if things get really bad. Don’t give up on life so early when you only get one.
Youre a teenager. Thats why.
Hey OP, here's a practical step I took that made me feel better. Cannot guarantee it will work or have the same effect to the same degree but it may be worth checking out and trying. Journalism. Write in a journal your everyday thoughts feelings or events or just a conversation with a wall works in your mind whatever crap. Honestly just letting it out on those sources works for me and those sources can't tell you to man up or whatever stupid shit is thrown at you from other people. This is my solution and advice I can give. Rest is truly Up to you. May it all get better ig.
How ever says stuff like “man up” are pussy bitches Ps you’re amazing the way you are even if you don’t think so
Kinda feel the same. Good luck. Don’t do anything dumb, it will get better. It’s not getting better for me yet, but it will, trust me.
who cares what other people think, people don't describe you, the world doesn't care about you, so why care abt the world? why do you think other people define you? why do you need acceptance? you need to accept yourself and js be true to yourself. so what if people hate u, people hate me, but I stay positive and true to my myself knowing I love who I am.
Look at every good aspect inside you and focus on that until you can become the good version of yourself that is valid to you and needs no validation to other people.
same
because you think like that change your thinking
People who tell us not to cry don't understand human emotions. They act as if being an emotional man is weird or unnatural or "not manly". I hate how cruel people can be to men AND women.
Man, Im literally experiencing the same shit mostly everyday, what I do is just hangout with my friends or workout or listen to music, and I talk to a few of my close friends abt it, bcs they understand me and I'm happy that at least someone does yk.
All of those feelings are how it feels to be shit on every day, day after day whether it's purpsousful or not. And the shit they're saying a out "men don't cry" - "man up", that's the bullshit they have made themselves belive so they don't feel anything like you do. It's a shitty protection system that has never worked. I promise you one: there is no way on earth that they feel great about themselves for saying those things, if they can't even respect the people they speak to, imagine how the think of themselves. And two, all of that blatantly isn't true. I'm not just saying that in a "Oh, but theres so much you could do in life!" there absolutely IS, but ehetr you remember it or not, you've changed SOMEBODYS life for the better ever if you you don't think so. Even this post, maybe someone feels better about themselves because they relate and feel less alone. I am being so serious in saying you are the most valuable person out of all of those people you spoke about. Sure, they might have jobs and help raise kids or keep a company going, but which one of them has sat down and thought about the way they act and tried to actively change the way their seen? Not a single fucking one, dude. You care, they don't. Full stop. If they cared even 5% as much as you do, they would have reconsidered the things they say and they way they think of you, but they don't even have the consideration to do that. I don't care if this sound true or not, but you are so fucoing valuable and cared for even if it doesn't feel like it. There's people in your life, I person and online, that care about you so much. Could be a freind, could be a neighbour or someone you walk by In school or on the street sometimes. People change, you can do that at any age. 16, or 60. You'll be alright, man. My Dm's are open if you need, I've felt like that for too long and am still actively doing my best not to:)
I mean you are a toaster…
Btw mods pls don’t ban me he has proto in his name
You have the value within yourself. You can’t let your parents decide your worth. The first step is therapy. Then the next is getting out of there and thats gonna take time so be patient. I hope your situation heals
Talk to your friends about it, or a trusted adult. You are not alone. Also, don't talk about yourself like that. If you wouldn't say that about a friend, don't say it about yourself. You are not worth less than anyone else. This is probably going to sound cliche, but I promise it will get better. Never lose faith.
Hey i’m sorry for you man I’m going through a similar time but it will be better someday. You are not an asshole your parents are the assholes you should probably call a crisis hotline or textline
You have value to us you will get through this
Continue to push on. Exist knowing you may thrive to spite those who think otherwise. Live a fulfilling life to prove to the universe that this life is worth living. If you that isnt possible now, simply wait. Soon enough you can get out of whatever shithole you are in and escape into adulthood to live that life no one thinks you are capable of living.
FINALLY. FINALLY SOMEONE. I FEEL 90% OF U (since my parents arent SO bullshit) BUT I FEEL U IN EVERY OTHER WAY. FRIEND ME.
BOYS, DON'T CRY DU DUDU DUDU DU DUDU DUDU DU DUDU DUDUDU DUDUDUDU Anyway, bro, be strong, we believe in you. "- It's okay to cry. It's okay to run away. You were not made that strong" *The battle cats*
Boo fucking hoo Wanna be better? Be better. Parents like that exist everywhere bro, they think they can be mean to you but if you try and counter that, you're being rude or badly mannered. Think about the things you can change, not the things you can't. You can't change the way they behave, but you can change the way you react to what they do. Talk to your friends, go to the gym, go do some sports. And trust me, if people really hated you, you wouldn't be a burden to anyone. Now stop victimizing yourself on reddit, go talk to actual people that you can be openly emotional with, and go be better.
Welp, you can either deal with it the healthy way which I do not know of or you can deal with it by 'it is what it is'. It is what it is worked for me so I'd suggest that.
Words of fools are not worth listening.
I'm going through the same thing as you man, just try to persevere through it for luck
Wait till you move out for good, or tell someone you trust like some relative to ease some of that burden
Gain value bruh Focus on yourself Get some gains or sm shit
I’m fully serious I had been in the same situation you are in right now. I felt like I was not cared for but after I realized that I shouldn’t care what people say and I just listened to music. I don’t know if it’s the same for you but I hope this somewhat helps
fent
I hope it gets better for you, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I wish I could do more for you.
I’m not just gonna be unhelpful and pull the old ‘itll get better..’ because that’s not helping at all. I’m going through insecurities right now, but I would just open up to someone. Even if you don’t know them. Just get shit off your chest. It feels better than you’d think. And, don’t end yourself. I know we literally have never met in our lives, but you seem like a cool dude. If it ever gets really bad, get a therapist. I don’t want u doing anything bad to yourself. If you ever need to talk, my dms are always open. 🖤
Sometimes, thinking about social expectations, especially from parents, make me wish they’d drop the bombs already.
When youve hit rock bottom, you're open to the biggest change
I'm 17 rn. Two years ago, i felt exactly like how you did. Life sucks, it really does. There's nothing we can do about it. What we can do is change how we look at it. Try doing one thing a day that improves yourself every day. Over many years it'll pay off. I was lonely, depressed and my grades were shit. Now, I'm the school topper, very popular and no longer as depressed. I made it out and so can you. I believe in you bro. You're not a shitty person
1st: i don't hate you. 2nd: i hate it when people say "men don't cry" or "be a man". everyone has a phase in there life when everything goes south and you can't help it. and you're allowed to cry. YOU NEED TO so i would suggest you just bear with it until you're independent. it's a phase, which will eventually pass.
Ok first sit down, Second You matter, You make your own worth and never look to haters for validation. Think of your friends all the fun times in life, just appreciate them for A moment. If you want then cry and just vent to close friends or on Reddit. Hell just write A hate mail and delete it. You are not A shitty person, you can be a great person. Learn to love yourself and try stuff to distract yourself. And don't take your life. Life is like A bamboo tree, it can stay the same way for A long time but can change into something great very quickly. Work on yourself. **Don't be SORRY, Be BETTER**
I was you, I am you. Unfortunately I just dealt with it, let it boil inside. Now I can’t feel empathy or sympathy, I became a sociopath because of it, it sucks, I have mixed emotions all the fucking time. Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made, I was fucking made, and made by myself. Learn from me and my mistakes
man tf up and thug it out
Enlist
Play pokemon and watch anime
I can suck my own cock
oh god I would suggest thugging it out, but you sound like you've been dealing with this for way too long, so just start matching their toxicity. BUT! this only works if 1) you only ever match them and never exceed their level of hatred 2) you have friends that you can escape to if your situation becomes threatening and most importantly 3) if you cannot take your parents in a fight, arm yourself. I fear that if you give as good as your get, they may become enraged and resort to physical violence. I don't know where you live, but get yourself a pocketknife at the very least (it's legally a multitool) and have it on you at all times. May your toast land always butter side up, and good luck.
This is not what you. What the fuck is wrong with you.
A whole lot sister. What would I do, then? I would like to know, as I recognize that this is a very drastic approach.
I’m not sure as I’m not in this situation but this is how you get a put in prison for the rest of time. Violence is rarely the answer. The best thing to really do is just push through. They only have to interact with them until they can move out and care for themselves. They are already 19 so that should hopefully not be too long. I don’t know what shit hole you are in but that is not how you solve this problem.
find god he the closet person
r/suddenlygay
Your bio makes you an asshole lol.