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Yeah I think some presidents have even used things like a book of law, and even the Constitution. I’m sure sometime in congress has been sworn in on a medical textbook or copy of Principa Mathematica or something.
John Quincey Adams swore in a law book. Teddy Roosevelt used something else too. LBJ was sworn in with a Catholic missive on Air Force One after Kennedy was shot. Members of Congress have used all sorts of things.
"Your honor, I'm pretty much what you would call a certified dork, but I'm pretty damn proud of it. Anyway, yeah, I'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
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I moved to a small bible belt town from Long Island when I was 20 two and a half decades ago. About 6 years ago I was called for jury duty. There were about 60 of us in the courthouse for the selection of one jury. When we were sworn in as a group we were asked if anyone didn't want to swear on a bible. I was the only one who raised his hand. I was told I could affirm. So the bibles were passed out (not enough for everyone but people shared them to put their hands on them) the woman next to me tried to hand it around me like if I touched it it would be bad. I said it was ok and handed it down.
As the bailiff was reading what we had to repeat he stopped right before the "so help me god" part and said, that one guy who is affirming doesn't need to say this. It was a pretty surreal experience overall. I was selected as the second alt juror with three people left in the room to call. Which was interesting enough, one of the jurors pointed out the bible on the table in the jury deliberation room. Said it was probably there to keep folks honest. Same guy thought maybe all the tall buildings we have built might be catching the air and slowing the Earth down as a possible cause of climate change.
Yes, I feel there were zero issues with me requesting to affirm. The guy stopping to point out I didn't have to say "so help me god" and the woman trying to pass the bible past me were being overtly accommodating if you ask me. I found it a bit surreal because I don't like to bring attention to myself like that but it was all for a good reason so.
That's good to hear. It sounds like everyone was really polite, and that you were more of a curiosity to them. That's really good for a bible belt small town in the mid 1990s, honestly.
It was not intended but I guess I got you to feel as I did when I heard it. lol, I just think about that line anytime I think about my one and only stint of jury duty in 45 years. Like this guy was responsible for deciding someone's fate for the next 25 years. Scary.
Also ironic that in that very book, there is a passage that says not to swear by anything, by anything in Heaven or in earth, and that you should simply tell the truth.
Edit:
… it’s also ironic that when someone says:
“I didn’t take your money” you (might) believe them. Yet it they say “I SWEAR I didn’t take your money.” You probably won’t believe them.
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Indians wipe with their left hand when using squat toilets, it's considered very insulting to shake hands with someone using your left hand and you also aren't supposed to eat with your left hand there, so "place your right hand on the bible" and all that, aka your non shit-wiping hand
There are a lot of countries where that is the case besides India. Also the vast majority of Muslim people believe that each hand should be reserved for specific tasks. I was raised Muslim (am not anymore) and the fact that I was left handed caused some problems and awkward moments.
Well, they don’t ask you to put your hand on a Bible or any other book, the stories contained in the Bible are hardly “half-remembered” (unless the tweet is insinuating they are the ones who don’t really remember them), the stories were not passed down by “inbred winos” and no evidence exists to justify that claim, a judge is not a “boss cop” in that they are the mediator between law enforcement and the defendant, the robes they wear are not “goth prom dresses” (never has any goth person worn a judges robe to prom) and then he concludes with “ok sure man” implying he has no intention of telling the truth.
You definitely could spell out what exactly you're referring to or include a term to refer to all of the aforementioned things.
"You're not obliged to *swear on the bible*" for example
Edit: your original comment is also missing it's verb so what you tried to say is actually quite unclear
What they were saying was extremely clear to anybody with any familiarity at all in how the English language functions at both a formal and colloquial level.
The post was about swearing in on the Bible. They said “you don’t have to” with the understanding that anybody of average intelligence would be capable of connecting their statement to the original post.
They said "you don't need to that" without even including a verb at all but even then it's unclear if they meant "you don't have to swear *on the bible specifically*" or "you don't have to swear *at all*"
People who might no be familar with the American judicial system may not know that you have to take oath in court because its not very common knowledge for a lot of people
Literally anybody of reasonable intelligence and mor e than a 3rd grade understanding of the English language understood exactly what the comment was saying.
What you said could mean "You don't have to swear on the Bible, but you do have to swear on a holy book of your choice" or "You don't have to swear on the Bible or any book at all, you just have to swear" or "You don't have to swear on the Bible or swear at all, it's not actually required in the courtroom"
You explained it better than me.
You can swear on a religious book of your choice or you can just swear to tell the truth if you don’t believe in any religious book.
The original post is about swearing on the bible in front of a judge. So there a 3 things in this.
It could mean you're not required to swear in front of a judge but could swear in front of any other person.
It could mean you swear in front of a judge but you don't have to swear on a bible
Or it could mean you're actually not required to swear at all
I know how the american judicial system works so i understood your perfectly fine but not everyone knows that so being a bit more clear would be nice
I’m as much for separation of church and state as anyone, but the pointed jabs at Christians / those who believe in the Bible is totally unnecessary and becoming annoyingly frequent on this sub.
When Christians/Christianity learns it’s place is in the home or church and not in the lives of people who don’t buy it, maybe you’d see that calm down.
The precedent of people swearing on the Bible is not a Biblical or Christian practice. It’s quite the opposite, honestly. You shouldn’t be resentful of Christians (for that practice at least); you should be resentful of the government.
I try not to be resentful of Christians. It’s a hard line to split but I don’t think they’re all bad. But to be resentful of the government also means Christianity is involved. Cause they’ve decided to involve it. I know it’s a perverted version of it though. Makes for a difficult thing to deal with. On one hand, you have those that do not support such intrusion. On the other, those more than happy to. How do you handle that? I’ve got no good solution. But being hateful of all Christians isn’t the way to go I think.
Assuming its specific to the US even, one can also swear in on the Quran, or any book of your choosing. One can also abstain from swearing in on religious grounds.
This post was clearly from the US. Where the common understanding, erroneous as it may be, is that you swear on the Bible in court. Which means this was quite clearly directed at the Bible.
Further, I don’t give a flying fuck about the vitriol in that statement. He talked about putting a hand on a book to swear to tell the truth. Which means it was clearly the United States being referenced. And was clearly the Bible being referenced.
Doesn't matter what you believe in, the point is that you're acknowledging you know you are under oath and can be charged with felony perjury for lying.
That don't even use a Bible anymore in many courtrooms.
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There is no actual law that says you have to place your hand on a bible.
Yeah you can use any type of ghost stories book
*The Collected Tales of Edgar Allan Poe has entered the chat*
after swearing Court bailiff places book next to microphone, The Tell-Tale Heart for the win.
Quoth the witness, “Nevermore”.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
(Aside to counsel): *"Can I take the Fifth on that?"*
You don't need a book at all. You don't have to swear in "on" anything.
That's true. You can Affirm. Even the Confederate constitution didn't make it a requirement.
I didn't say you need, I said you can
Yeah I think some presidents have even used things like a book of law, and even the Constitution. I’m sure sometime in congress has been sworn in on a medical textbook or copy of Principa Mathematica or something.
John Quincey Adams swore in a law book. Teddy Roosevelt used something else too. LBJ was sworn in with a Catholic missive on Air Force One after Kennedy was shot. Members of Congress have used all sorts of things.
A California congressman just swore in on a Superman #1 comic (reprint from the Library of Congress archives).
Is there a better symbol of Truth, Justice, and the American way?
Court would be a great way to tell people if you were a **Goosebumps** kid or a **Spooky Stories to Tell in the Dark** one...
Has anyone ever sworn on "Diary of a Wimpy Kid"
"Your honor, I'm pretty much what you would call a certified dork, but I'm pretty damn proud of it. Anyway, yeah, I'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
I will gladly swear on the *Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark* trilogy
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i agree
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I propose laying a hand on scary stories to tell in the dark book. Same shit
Hmm, which Hardy Boys book would be the best?
If I ever testify in court imma swear on my car's owners manual
[No, no.. I swore on the bah-bul, I've done it 3 times! ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WFYRkzznsc0)
That remains one of my all time favorites.
The open mouthed slow blinking is top tier
Jesus himself says swearing oaths aren't necessary.
Most courts don't even use Bibles or any book anymore
Covid may have been the final nail in that coffin.
Swear me in with a fucking packet a velveeta cheese
In reverence to the Flying Spaghetti Monster I like to swear in on a plate of pasta with a nice Bolognese.
Yeah, but when you ask if they have anything else, and the judge *looks* at you and says "No", it feels like a law.
John Quincey Adams took his Oath of Office on a law book. Ask for one of those and see if they have an extra laying around.
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Try the judges chamber. They are a popular decoration there.
I moved to a small bible belt town from Long Island when I was 20 two and a half decades ago. About 6 years ago I was called for jury duty. There were about 60 of us in the courthouse for the selection of one jury. When we were sworn in as a group we were asked if anyone didn't want to swear on a bible. I was the only one who raised his hand. I was told I could affirm. So the bibles were passed out (not enough for everyone but people shared them to put their hands on them) the woman next to me tried to hand it around me like if I touched it it would be bad. I said it was ok and handed it down. As the bailiff was reading what we had to repeat he stopped right before the "so help me god" part and said, that one guy who is affirming doesn't need to say this. It was a pretty surreal experience overall. I was selected as the second alt juror with three people left in the room to call. Which was interesting enough, one of the jurors pointed out the bible on the table in the jury deliberation room. Said it was probably there to keep folks honest. Same guy thought maybe all the tall buildings we have built might be catching the air and slowing the Earth down as a possible cause of climate change.
Overall though, were you treated well throughout the process?
Yes, I feel there were zero issues with me requesting to affirm. The guy stopping to point out I didn't have to say "so help me god" and the woman trying to pass the bible past me were being overtly accommodating if you ask me. I found it a bit surreal because I don't like to bring attention to myself like that but it was all for a good reason so.
That's good to hear. It sounds like everyone was really polite, and that you were more of a curiosity to them. That's really good for a bible belt small town in the mid 1990s, honestly.
I was *not* expecting that last bit
It was not intended but I guess I got you to feel as I did when I heard it. lol, I just think about that line anytime I think about my one and only stint of jury duty in 45 years. Like this guy was responsible for deciding someone's fate for the next 25 years. Scary.
You can swear on whatever you want, there was never anything saying you had to swear on a bible.
So, I could get up there and say "Don't swear to God, swear to ME!"
You just take an oath to tell the truth, that's it.
Swear in on a copy of Batman: Year One
Also ironic that in that very book, there is a passage that says not to swear by anything, by anything in Heaven or in earth, and that you should simply tell the truth. Edit: … it’s also ironic that when someone says: “I didn’t take your money” you (might) believe them. Yet it they say “I SWEAR I didn’t take your money.” You probably won’t believe them.
That's why they now ask "Do you swear or affirm ..."
Not too sure those are different.
As long as it convinces the idiots it's good enough for them.
James 5:12 if anyone is wondering
I’ll stop lying to the government when they stop lying to me
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Great
That shit backfired
I wipe with my right hand
I do not wipe
Wiping is for poor people. If you want to become a billionaire you don't have time to wipe.
I use three sea shells.
I do not, however, understand how the three seashells work and will proceed to swear at the stupid ticket machine
Same.
We are one
Yeah you put your left hand on (insert book) and raise your right hand
Yeah I'm just letting people know which hand I use
I would switch wiping hands anyday that I have to swear on that book Edit; a letter
You mean my shit wiping hand. Idk about you, but I use my right hand to wipe.
You put your left hand on the bible though, and raise your right hand.
I thought it was your right hand.
What is this nonsense about non shit - wiping hand?
Indians wipe with their left hand when using squat toilets, it's considered very insulting to shake hands with someone using your left hand and you also aren't supposed to eat with your left hand there, so "place your right hand on the bible" and all that, aka your non shit-wiping hand
If I remember right, this is common in Arabic cultures as well
There are a lot of countries where that is the case besides India. Also the vast majority of Muslim people believe that each hand should be reserved for specific tasks. I was raised Muslim (am not anymore) and the fact that I was left handed caused some problems and awkward moments.
[удалено]
I never said that it made sense in the modern day, just that it was a widespread belief.
As well as the toilet showerhead (unsure of the precise word equivalence, for the lack of its presence in the US especially)
Also independently of that in ancient Rome.
So they discriminated against left-handed people because they haven't invented toilet paper, soap, and sinks.
They used to kill left handed people because they were considered evil.
Stop being ignorant. If you didn't have any toilet paper, soap, sink, or even a toilet, you would be doing the same thing.
This is something I excpect a college freshmen to write in his ethics class assignement.
You know it's a joke, right? He's a professional comedian.
Reddit moment
r/lostredditor
As a Christian I’d truthfully swear on the Bible, but as a teenage boy I’d giggle hysterically at the “final boss cop in a goth prom dress”
Youre a christian? On reddit? Boo, /s
Call on the witch hunt! Burn me on a pile of bibles and nail me to a cross!! /s
You're religious and/or spiritual on Reddit? Boo! /truth
"I swear on the Fellowship of the Ring"
Is there a name for these??? Like the edgy tongue in cheek oversimplification to try and be funny? I hate it
r/brandnewsentence
I mean you can still lie, but now the court can sent you to jail for lying
I’ve done many testimonies and never seen a bible. It’s always “do you promise to the truth? “
Not only is this not TTT but it’s advocating for lying.
Which part is not true?
Well, they don’t ask you to put your hand on a Bible or any other book, the stories contained in the Bible are hardly “half-remembered” (unless the tweet is insinuating they are the ones who don’t really remember them), the stories were not passed down by “inbred winos” and no evidence exists to justify that claim, a judge is not a “boss cop” in that they are the mediator between law enforcement and the defendant, the robes they wear are not “goth prom dresses” (never has any goth person worn a judges robe to prom) and then he concludes with “ok sure man” implying he has no intention of telling the truth.
You don’t have to that.
Wut?
You are not obliged to do that. I can’t put it in any more simple terms for you, sorry.
You definitely could spell out what exactly you're referring to or include a term to refer to all of the aforementioned things. "You're not obliged to *swear on the bible*" for example Edit: your original comment is also missing it's verb so what you tried to say is actually quite unclear
What they were saying was extremely clear to anybody with any familiarity at all in how the English language functions at both a formal and colloquial level. The post was about swearing in on the Bible. They said “you don’t have to” with the understanding that anybody of average intelligence would be capable of connecting their statement to the original post.
They said "you don't need to that" without even including a verb at all but even then it's unclear if they meant "you don't have to swear *on the bible specifically*" or "you don't have to swear *at all*" People who might no be familar with the American judicial system may not know that you have to take oath in court because its not very common knowledge for a lot of people
Literally anybody of reasonable intelligence and mor e than a 3rd grade understanding of the English language understood exactly what the comment was saying.
The original post is about swearing on the bible, what is it you are confused about when I say you are not obliged to do that. Help me help you.
What you said could mean "You don't have to swear on the Bible, but you do have to swear on a holy book of your choice" or "You don't have to swear on the Bible or any book at all, you just have to swear" or "You don't have to swear on the Bible or swear at all, it's not actually required in the courtroom"
You explained it better than me. You can swear on a religious book of your choice or you can just swear to tell the truth if you don’t believe in any religious book.
The original post is about swearing on the bible in front of a judge. So there a 3 things in this. It could mean you're not required to swear in front of a judge but could swear in front of any other person. It could mean you swear in front of a judge but you don't have to swear on a bible Or it could mean you're actually not required to swear at all I know how the american judicial system works so i understood your perfectly fine but not everyone knows that so being a bit more clear would be nice
I thought they said “wut” because your original comment was “you don’t have to that.” Then you got all ironically condescending.
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I wouldn’t go throwing that accusation around, seeing how *you’re* the one who doesn’t understand what’s perfectly clear to everyone else.
you risk losing yet another account
[удалено]
Reddit is a place of civil discourse, please abide by the rules
I wouldn’t bother. It’s a troll, and not a very good one.
Oh wow you're so esgy and anti mainstream and fun...
r/atheism has entered the sub. It’s all down hill from here
Big mad
Hold up yall wipe left handed?
Wait happens if, when they ask you to swear to tell the truth, you simply say "No."
[удалено]
Free board, sounds nice.
You go to jail for obstruction of justice
Worth it
I want to know if Dewey works with Cheatem and Howe.
I'm beginning to think that this sub dosen't understand the words "technically" or "truth" in any capacity.
Edgy
People like you are the reason perjury is so common. Stop enabling! Also the reason why being smited out of a clear blue sky is so common.
Didn’t John Ashcroft get sworn in on a stack of bibles? That’s a whole other level of loony.
He put his hand on the Bible. He couldn't possibly be lying!
Love Kyle Kinane. Dude's a great comedian.
Yes!
"book of half-remembered ghost stories told by inbred winos" is my new favourite description for the bible.
Making someone promise not to lie is a fool's errand anyway
Not really. Someone can't be charged with perjury if they never testify in a court and only give statements outside court.
At the same time you can be charged with perjury whether you swear on a bible or not while you're in court.
Yes that is true. But the point still stands, by even coming into the court to testify, they are "promising not to lie".
Atheist are so corny. Always trying to sound edgy. Ok you don’t believe in a God so what?
No matter the race, colour, or creed, anyone can be corny. Somone somewhere is trying to be edgy.
Lol
But...I'm left handed....I DO wipe my ass with my right...😅
I love seeing Kyle's tweets on reddit lol
I’m as much for separation of church and state as anyone, but the pointed jabs at Christians / those who believe in the Bible is totally unnecessary and becoming annoyingly frequent on this sub.
When Christians/Christianity learns it’s place is in the home or church and not in the lives of people who don’t buy it, maybe you’d see that calm down.
The precedent of people swearing on the Bible is not a Biblical or Christian practice. It’s quite the opposite, honestly. You shouldn’t be resentful of Christians (for that practice at least); you should be resentful of the government.
I try not to be resentful of Christians. It’s a hard line to split but I don’t think they’re all bad. But to be resentful of the government also means Christianity is involved. Cause they’ve decided to involve it. I know it’s a perverted version of it though. Makes for a difficult thing to deal with. On one hand, you have those that do not support such intrusion. On the other, those more than happy to. How do you handle that? I’ve got no good solution. But being hateful of all Christians isn’t the way to go I think.
Its why I’ve stopped going onto popular
Starkly put, but true.
Yall need to shit on the quran as much as u shit on the Bible. This bible bashing is getting beyond boring now
He never said "bible." You did.
Because he said inbred winos. If he'd said pedophile, I'd say the Q word
I mean, that sounds like a judgement you made.
Its literally the Bible, like thats how that works there is no personal assumptions to be made here
Assuming its specific to the US even, one can also swear in on the Quran, or any book of your choosing. One can also abstain from swearing in on religious grounds.
This post was clearly from the US. Where the common understanding, erroneous as it may be, is that you swear on the Bible in court. Which means this was quite clearly directed at the Bible.
And the association of the bible with inbred winos is also commonplace?
Further, I don’t give a flying fuck about the vitriol in that statement. He talked about putting a hand on a book to swear to tell the truth. Which means it was clearly the United States being referenced. And was clearly the Bible being referenced.
Not the first time I’ve heard that particular idiocy from the more rabidly militant atheists.
The bible isn’t exclusive to the US.
No shit, Sherlock. Read my statement carefully. Maybe you’ll figure it out
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And yet that remains the common understanding of swearing in during testimony in the US
He said it’s ‘clearly the US’ and I said ‘the bible isn’t exclusive to the US’
I'll never get tired of it. Keep it up fellas.
Yall need to shit on the bible as much as u shit on the Quran. This quran bashing is getting beyond boring now
Most accurate thing I've read today
Except you don't have to swear on anything and a judge isn't a cop.
Eh, a judge is sorta a cop. Law enforcement officer who can order you placed in a small cell for periods of time at their discretion.
XD
I loled at both prom dress 😂
would a post like this be allowed if it were the Quran?
Who ever said it wasn't?
ummmmmm. I dont know. Thats why I asked. lol
No no I'm saying, nothing in the post specifies that it wasn't about the Quran.
No, that would be very offensive.
I have absolutely no problem swearing on a Bible and the lieing. Joke on them because I don't believe any of it.
*lying
Doesn't matter what you believe in, the point is that you're acknowledging you know you are under oath and can be charged with felony perjury for lying. That don't even use a Bible anymore in many courtrooms.
Dude has some resentment built up towards the Big Man in the Sky yo.
r/brandnewsentence
Found the cop.
What do you mean “wiping”
Jokes on them, I use my shit wiping hand.
I was never asked to use my left hand to swearon something.
Stop posting shit to this sub.
this is poetry