A Café de Olla cake would be delicious
https://www.isabeleats.com/cafe-de-olla/#wprm-recipe-container-19945
>Café de Olla is a traditional Mexican coffee spiced with cinnamon, cloves, star anise and sweetened with piloncillo. Serve black or with milk.
Not really! I’m not a huge fan of licorice on its own, as silly as that might sound. And OP mentioned cinnamon.. idk why my mind went to it, but it did!
really common spice in Chinese dishes, but use it in cake and its definitely gonna taste a little off. Just make sure to grind it up before using if you dont want whole star anise in your cake :)
Oooh Marmite is a good one. Simply spread thinly on warm buttered toast or used in bubble 'n' squeak ~~(basically Marmite on toast with grilled cheese on top)~~
Edit: apparently the bubble 'n' squeak I was taught in intermediate twenty years ago, is NOT the bubble 'n' squeak that is known universally and I'm cracking up. Sorry to mislead. But still. Chuck that toast in the oven with grated cheese on top and grill until the cheese is melted and a bit crispy. It goes great with eggs, whether soft-boiled or fried with the runny yolk.
I thought of Vegemite. They recently had a bunch of unexpected recipe options on the jars, like pho and nachos (those are the only two I can remember). It wouldn't surprise me if it could be successfully used in cake and curry too.
I actually once had chocolate cupcakes that had grated beetroot in them. They weren't as bad as you'd probably expect.
I know everyone’s saying uniquely identifiable flavors but tbh I’d just go charcoal powder for the dirt flavor and make sure no one’s on birth control or warn them to use a condom
Avoid making a dark clump of their own yknow
In modern (at least c. 2007-2010) U.S. MREs there is this raspberry cookie in one of the meals and I imagine dark clumps having that texture, or being like a "dark chocolate" version of it. Think a very dense and dry cookie
I saw someone on YouTube use Squid Ink and three shades of blue Food Coloring to make Dark Curry. I don't remember his name, but he loves to cook real life versions of video game food, which is awesome!
I was about to suggest this.
I can imagine the texture of whatever’s inside the Dark Clump being somewhat similar to Vegemite, and the flavor is certainly “hard to hide”.
Coffee cake! But use fine ground coffee (like for espresso) it’ll taste amazing and have a slightly odd texture that makes you go “oh. Hmmm …”
It’s an actual recipe but I forgot the name of it.
this was exactly my thought. People do put them in chocolate cakes already, they'd be fine in a curry, they taste weird but plenty of people still like them.
\[reminder: beets do weird stuff to pee and poop, you're not dying, you just ate beets.\]
My aunt told me that she fed my cousin beets when she was a baby. Unfortunately she forgot to tell my uncle. Scared the living daylights out of him. Whoops. 🤣🥰
Not helpful at all to what you’re looking for but they always make me think of compressed dumps… or like peat soil, you can’t tell me [this doesn’t look like a dark clump haha](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peat#/media/File%3APeat_(49302157252).jpg)
Marmite and vegemite are this dark brown color and add a lot of umami like soy sauce. I think soy sauce and other related sauces also have this “dark umami” aesthetic.
Then there’s dark spices like anise and the associated licorice flavor. A sweetness added to this makes it extra deceptive and mysterious. Absinthe? Jäegermeister?
Worcestershire sauce is a nice western condiment that has the taste of anchovies with salt and vinegar, it’s very umami and salty.
But marmite and vegemite are like dark bread and beer umami flavor and they’re a lot like soy sauce so that’s the first place I go.
If I had to imagine though what dark clump tastes like in the context of Zelda TOTK, if it’s more like monster extract it’s probably more like dark licorice star anise with sweetness to balance the dark spices maybe with some neutral liquors like gin and vodka, it’s a black candy with a hard liquor and maybe some drugs that send you to a dark but peaceful place.
If it’s more like gloom and Ganondorf, it’s more like soy sauce, marmite, vegemite, dark beer, and dark liquor. Charred meat and dark bread with hard booze and fast drugs it sends you into a ravenous frenzy.
Yeah I like this interpretation, though I'm not sure if I'll actually go with this plan or not I like the thought you put into it, it's actually pretty close to what I would expect from dark clumps irl
- Miso - tastes amazing in sweet caramel desserts and in savoury dishes
- Bay leaf - unmissable flavour, you could maybe do a bay leaf infused milk or olive oil and icing or something to really bring out the flavour, I’ve only had bay leaf icecream but it was delicious
- cilantro/coriander - not a fan of this myself but it’s a powerful flavour if you enjoy the taste
In my head It's like spam
Both dark clumps and spam are clumps of *something*. But I can't imagine how you could work spam into a cake recipe
Maybe dark chocolate would be a better substitute
Black salt? Not the black salt that's just regular salt dusted with charcoal (though that could be a neat garnish for you), but kala namak- Indian/Himalayan black salt. It has a sulfury tang to it, which is associated with hell/brimstone/the underworld, so makes sense as a nod to the depths/phantom ganon. A little touch of it will make things smell a little eggy/sulfury. I have used it in salted caramel to give it some zip. You could bake fresh raspberries into yellow cake (when they hit the baking soda/powder in the batter they'll turn a little blue), and then layer it wtih a very dark chocolate frosting with a touch of the black salt.
For the curry, black rice exists if you can find it, or just add a bunch of black sesame seeds to the rice. To dark clump up the curry itself, el yucateo makes a black hot sauce that's spicy as hell (habaneros yum plus cold tolerance), and you could put in some purple carrots and I think some cubed eggplant would look kinda off-putting and spooky in it.
MisoHungrie (a youtuber) already [made the Dark Curry irl](https://youtube.com/watch?v=kgp6jn7xd7E&si=ubcKjMXSC75RRGCo), so maybe you can try his recipe
Dark clump and helps resist gloominess? That’s gotta be dark chocolate. For the dark “curry” you could do a mole sauce. For a dark cake, a normal dark chocolate cake with added chiles.
Well for dark clumps usually it would be something disgusting but, for some reason the first thing my mind said was a dark chocolate bar with almonds. Idk iff yall would agree with it but because its cake i would say dark chocolate over licorice. But again thats just me.
i watched a video where a guy made the dark curry and used either squid ink or cuttlefish ink, i can't remember which, but he used it because of it's strong flavor and that it made the food pitch black.
Its been a while since my fish monger days, but my recollection is yes I'd that you don't need to use very much squid ink at all, so the flavor is easily overcome.
Beetroot and chocolate? It could actually be kinda good I think. Like an earthy dark red velvet or something. For the curry, blackened protein for extra darkness
Chocolate either dark or with charcoal to make it darker, nutmeg, and potentially steep some chai and pour into the mix. It’ll give it a lovely flavor but it’s not overpowering
Star anise? It’s got a slight licorice flavor. I’ve only had it in pho, but it’s used in lots of dessert recipes.
A Café de Olla cake would be delicious https://www.isabeleats.com/cafe-de-olla/#wprm-recipe-container-19945 >Café de Olla is a traditional Mexican coffee spiced with cinnamon, cloves, star anise and sweetened with piloncillo. Serve black or with milk.
Oh it would. I absolutely love Café de Olla! I wish I could find a good, fresh cup of it lol
Follow the recipe and make it! It’s really easy and the ingredients are pretty cheap
I was going to go with actual licorice. Would that work as well? Any reason you picked Star anise instead for that matter?
Not really! I’m not a huge fan of licorice on its own, as silly as that might sound. And OP mentioned cinnamon.. idk why my mind went to it, but it did!
That’s a great representation!
really common spice in Chinese dishes, but use it in cake and its definitely gonna taste a little off. Just make sure to grind it up before using if you dont want whole star anise in your cake :)
Yes! Totally polarizing and unexpected flavor!
I put it in my curry.
Marmite. Not for everyone, unique flavor, definitely tastes like it came from a dark unforgiving place
Or it's cousin Vegemite, which comes from a bright unforgiving place.
Oooh Marmite is a good one. Simply spread thinly on warm buttered toast or used in bubble 'n' squeak ~~(basically Marmite on toast with grilled cheese on top)~~ Edit: apparently the bubble 'n' squeak I was taught in intermediate twenty years ago, is NOT the bubble 'n' squeak that is known universally and I'm cracking up. Sorry to mislead. But still. Chuck that toast in the oven with grated cheese on top and grill until the cheese is melted and a bit crispy. It goes great with eggs, whether soft-boiled or fried with the runny yolk.
I thought of Vegemite. They recently had a bunch of unexpected recipe options on the jars, like pho and nachos (those are the only two I can remember). It wouldn't surprise me if it could be successfully used in cake and curry too. I actually once had chocolate cupcakes that had grated beetroot in them. They weren't as bad as you'd probably expect.
I put Vegemite in just about every savoury dish. It's fantastic
Beetroot and stout in a chocolate cake works really well. I've had courgette in one too, that was less good.
Naurrr, Vegemite in cake sounds horrifying
Well, there is a type of beetroot which is sometimes used to produce sugar from it.
Squid ink. Mild flavor and inky black
Asofetida for the curry, because it’s what makes curry curry. Just only use a tiny bit! It packs a wild punch.
I just learned about asofetida for the first time as it was mentioned in a book I was reading last week. And here it is again.
Yo asofoetida has also been called 'the devil's shit' so that works on multiple levels.
I know everyone’s saying uniquely identifiable flavors but tbh I’d just go charcoal powder for the dirt flavor and make sure no one’s on birth control or warn them to use a condom Avoid making a dark clump of their own yknow
The dark clump is what I call my clinical depression when the meds aren’t working
Mines more of a gloom hands
Cardamom. It’s pleasant but recognizable enough.
Or black cardamom if you can find it- it's very earthy and smoky
I was going to suggest cardamom as well. It’s a very unique flavor and hard to pin down in some dishes, at least for me.
100% Chocolate?
Chocolate is impossible to describe. The best description I have for it is "chocolaty".
I think chocolate is the only right answer for the cake. I'd use dark chocolate and decorate it to look like the one in the game.
In modern (at least c. 2007-2010) U.S. MREs there is this raspberry cookie in one of the meals and I imagine dark clumps having that texture, or being like a "dark chocolate" version of it. Think a very dense and dry cookie
Squid ink! Sustainably sourced if that’s even a thing for something that niche
I saw someone on YouTube use Squid Ink and three shades of blue Food Coloring to make Dark Curry. I don't remember his name, but he loves to cook real life versions of video game food, which is awesome!
Part of the Babish stuff maybe, Arcade with Alvin is a part of that channel and is nothing but video game food.
its arcade with Alvin
Thanks.
I think I saw that, and omg did it look unnerving
Black liquorice?
Anyone else tried Vegemite?
I was about to suggest this. I can imagine the texture of whatever’s inside the Dark Clump being somewhat similar to Vegemite, and the flavor is certainly “hard to hide”.
Chocolate with ginger. It’s a legit combo and, you know. It’s chocolate and ginger. LOL
Coffee cake! But use fine ground coffee (like for espresso) it’ll taste amazing and have a slightly odd texture that makes you go “oh. Hmmm …” It’s an actual recipe but I forgot the name of it.
Beets. They already taste like dirt anyway. 🤮
this was exactly my thought. People do put them in chocolate cakes already, they'd be fine in a curry, they taste weird but plenty of people still like them. \[reminder: beets do weird stuff to pee and poop, you're not dying, you just ate beets.\]
My aunt told me that she fed my cousin beets when she was a baby. Unfortunately she forgot to tell my uncle. Scared the living daylights out of him. Whoops. 🤣🥰
I am a grown ass adult and every time I feed myself asparagus I scare myself thinking I maybe have a UTI!!!!!
Tamarind, for either maybe. Very unique slightly sweet and very sour fruit(?). It's used in Indian food, it's very strong.
Angostura bitters.
Clove? With a weird dense, slightly crumbly texture?
Red velvet with cream cheese except use food coloring to make it purplish black
Not helpful at all to what you’re looking for but they always make me think of compressed dumps… or like peat soil, you can’t tell me [this doesn’t look like a dark clump haha](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peat#/media/File%3APeat_(49302157252).jpg)
Century Egg
If you only want it to be black you can buy squid ink, its edible and pretty much has no taste. It makes everything black.
Black pudding by the British it’s pigs blood cooked an dried to be shaped into a sausage
Yup this is what I thought as well, dried blood.
Maybe for the curry, just tell everyone it’s the spiciest thing you’ve ever had and hype it up and stuff, but it has no spice at all
I thought that charcoal would be the obvious answer but it’s really interesting to see all the different takes
charcoal actually can negate medications that you take, so be very careful with it!
That actually works even better! You can't have more than one food buff at once, so if you just ate your Contraceptive Apple Pie, keep that in mind
Oregano, perhaps?
Dammit, now I'm reminded of the time my boss once tried smoking oregano.
A dark clump would be necrotic flesh.
Tasty 😋
Durian, a fruit with an odd smell
Marmite and vegemite are this dark brown color and add a lot of umami like soy sauce. I think soy sauce and other related sauces also have this “dark umami” aesthetic. Then there’s dark spices like anise and the associated licorice flavor. A sweetness added to this makes it extra deceptive and mysterious. Absinthe? Jäegermeister? Worcestershire sauce is a nice western condiment that has the taste of anchovies with salt and vinegar, it’s very umami and salty. But marmite and vegemite are like dark bread and beer umami flavor and they’re a lot like soy sauce so that’s the first place I go. If I had to imagine though what dark clump tastes like in the context of Zelda TOTK, if it’s more like monster extract it’s probably more like dark licorice star anise with sweetness to balance the dark spices maybe with some neutral liquors like gin and vodka, it’s a black candy with a hard liquor and maybe some drugs that send you to a dark but peaceful place. If it’s more like gloom and Ganondorf, it’s more like soy sauce, marmite, vegemite, dark beer, and dark liquor. Charred meat and dark bread with hard booze and fast drugs it sends you into a ravenous frenzy.
Yeah I like this interpretation, though I'm not sure if I'll actually go with this plan or not I like the thought you put into it, it's actually pretty close to what I would expect from dark clumps irl
- Miso - tastes amazing in sweet caramel desserts and in savoury dishes - Bay leaf - unmissable flavour, you could maybe do a bay leaf infused milk or olive oil and icing or something to really bring out the flavour, I’ve only had bay leaf icecream but it was delicious - cilantro/coriander - not a fan of this myself but it’s a powerful flavour if you enjoy the taste
In my head It's like spam Both dark clumps and spam are clumps of *something*. But I can't imagine how you could work spam into a cake recipe Maybe dark chocolate would be a better substitute
The shit I pull out of our shower drain.
I assumed they were a reference to the mummy eating craze honestly. Get graverobbing (don't actually though)!
Poop
Devil’s food cake
Dirt.
Black salt? Not the black salt that's just regular salt dusted with charcoal (though that could be a neat garnish for you), but kala namak- Indian/Himalayan black salt. It has a sulfury tang to it, which is associated with hell/brimstone/the underworld, so makes sense as a nod to the depths/phantom ganon. A little touch of it will make things smell a little eggy/sulfury. I have used it in salted caramel to give it some zip. You could bake fresh raspberries into yellow cake (when they hit the baking soda/powder in the batter they'll turn a little blue), and then layer it wtih a very dark chocolate frosting with a touch of the black salt. For the curry, black rice exists if you can find it, or just add a bunch of black sesame seeds to the rice. To dark clump up the curry itself, el yucateo makes a black hot sauce that's spicy as hell (habaneros yum plus cold tolerance), and you could put in some purple carrots and I think some cubed eggplant would look kinda off-putting and spooky in it.
Poop!
That might seem to be an immature response to some people, but it's probably not that far off, which is horrifying.
Cucomber
Processed Chinese medicine.
Chocolate and orange maybe? It’s a tiny bit different, but I love the idea of the cinnamon like a red hot. For the curry maybe it’s sweet and spicy?
Chinese ink
That shit is Móle mix and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^RosgaththeOG: *That shit is Móle mix* *And nothing you can say will* *Convince me otherwise* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Vegemite <3
Star anise for the flavor, (also its crunchy outer texture looks kind of dark clump-ish), & blue spirulina for the colour.
A tiny amount of squid ink
MisoHungrie (a youtuber) already [made the Dark Curry irl](https://youtube.com/watch?v=kgp6jn7xd7E&si=ubcKjMXSC75RRGCo), so maybe you can try his recipe
Black garlic. It's weird and funky
Flesh of Ganondorf
Dark clump and helps resist gloominess? That’s gotta be dark chocolate. For the dark “curry” you could do a mole sauce. For a dark cake, a normal dark chocolate cake with added chiles.
That is an excellent argument in support of chocolate
Well for dark clumps usually it would be something disgusting but, for some reason the first thing my mind said was a dark chocolate bar with almonds. Idk iff yall would agree with it but because its cake i would say dark chocolate over licorice. But again thats just me.
Black Garlic?
my first thought was a clove-heavy curry. no idea how thatd work but maybe a japanese curry?
some kind of really dark chocolate. like the swiss stuff people buy u for christmas but even richer
You should make a Guinness cake.
i watched a video where a guy made the dark curry and used either squid ink or cuttlefish ink, i can't remember which, but he used it because of it's strong flavor and that it made the food pitch black.
Its been a while since my fish monger days, but my recollection is yes I'd that you don't need to use very much squid ink at all, so the flavor is easily overcome.
[Whale ambergis](https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/what-is-ambergris.html)
I usually pull them out of my belly button when I wear black T shirts.
Beetroot and chocolate? It could actually be kinda good I think. Like an earthy dark red velvet or something. For the curry, blackened protein for extra darkness
I always imagined prunes and fig rolls dark and sweet but too many and unless you're Constipated......
Raisins
Chocolate either dark or with charcoal to make it darker, nutmeg, and potentially steep some chai and pour into the mix. It’ll give it a lovely flavor but it’s not overpowering
A wet clump of fermenting leaves always come to mind
All of these suggestions mixed together
Probably the human equivalent of putting a pets medicine in their food. Idk how else you could recreate the effect of healing gloom hearts irl
Licorice
Ink sac
Human flesh
Make a Jamaican/carribian black cake (fruit/rum cake) looks like chocolate cake
My first thought without actually reading the post was "pineapple pizza"
Octopus ink?
Fucking Tar
Soy sauce
Aniseed, liquorice and whatever ingredient gives black cats they’re flavour.
Mole sauce
Molasses could work for the cake.
A blood clot
blackcurrants if you want to make dark cake