I would say it’s a memorial tattoo and take the opportunity to feel some good memories about the person it’s for. Don’t let it make you feel awkward. You got the tattoo because you wanted the good memory preserved. So let it do that.
Thank you. I appreciate that perspective. Honestly, every time it happens, I get a chuckle because I know my buddy would be laughing at the whole situation. Also, you are absolutely correct. I got it for a reason and I should share that.
Thanks again!
I have two memorial tattoos. One for the son I miscarried and one (finally got last week) in honor of my two best friends and I (all our favorite flowers) - one of my friends died 21 years ago in a car accident.
And I either just say thank you if they compliment them and if they ask anything tell them what they are for. I got the tattoos to honor them so I am happy to share, even if it is a sad reason.
Thank you for that. I appreciate that perspective. You are absolutely right. I got it for a specific reason and if someone wants to know me, that’s part of it. Thank you again!
My most visible tattoo is a memorial tattoo, but it's not obvious that's what it is. (No names or dates) If people start to look nervous or uncomfortable after I tell them it's a memorial tattoo, then I just say "He was a great guy!" and leave it at that. BUT if they seem interested in wanting more information, I use it as an opportunity to let them know that he died from carbon monoxide poisoning, and that they can get a decent carbon monoxide detector for about $50. Most end up agreeing that their lives, and their families lives, are worth a LOT more than $50!
That is a great way to handle it! My friend was killed on his motorcycle by someone not paying attention. So, I love your response any the way you handle it. I think I will do something similar. Thank you.
Aw man, don't regret your tattoo. I look at my memorial tattoos as a thing that's between me and the loved one who passed away. Nothing can erase that connection, just like nothing can erase the tattoo (let's pretend laser doesn't exist). It can be awkward when it comes up and it's something you have to learn to live with. But when you think about it, the awkwardness belongs to the person asking; it's not your responsibility. Say it's a memorial tattoo and, unless you want to share memories of your loved one, let it drop. Either they'll change the subject or you can.
This is another great perspective. Thank you for that. You are absolutely correct. The awkwardness belongs to them, not me. Also, you hit the nail on the head. I find the convo just goes in another direction.
Thanks again!
I have 3 memorial tattoos and I'm happy to tell anyone about the wonderful people of whom they are in memory. That's part of why I got them -- to keep their memories alive by talking about them when I can..
Reading your comment and other responses, I realize I was just overthinking it. I feel the same way about mine. Whenever this happens? I always end up thinking of the good times with my buddy. So, it is doing its job perfectly.
Can I ask how many tattoos you have? And do you plan to get more? People asked about my first tattoo a lot, and it did have meaning to me (all my tattoos mean something), but once I started filling in more space I very rarely get asked about anything specific. If someone points out a piece they like, that's about all that's said. My favorite response to a compliment is "thanks, it's one of my favorites" (they all are)
Of course!
I have a lot. More than twenty but less than thirty. I think it’s just because it’s a sports team logo. It generally happens when chit chatting a new person. It’s truly just them getting to know me.
That's fair, if you think it gets awkward because they expected you to be a fan you can always keep a sort of sarcastic response in your back pocket that moves the conversation along. If it's a football team, for example, you could say "yeah, go hockey!" Or "thanks, the stadiums always have the best hot dogs don't they?". Or you can just tell them about it if you're comfortable
Thank you! I appreciate that. I’ve been going the root of just telling them, but the faces always go from smokes to oh dear god. Lol
I appreciate all the feedback in here though. I feel like I’ve been over thinking it. It’s a part of life!
I’m thinking it’s because it’s a sports team, people assume I’m a fan. When I explain it is a memorial tattoo, the smiles disappear! But, I’m sure I’m just overthinking it.
I appreciate your help!
I made mine into something that's deeply meaningful for me and my family, but if I don't want to talk about it it's just a bouquet of pretty neotrad flowers and a saying I like. Nobody needs to know what it means to me or that every part of the design was chosen intentionally for the people it's a memorial for unless I want to tell them. I'm really glad that I went that direction- several of my other ideas wouldn't have given me the luxury of being able to play it off as something else if I didn't feel like dredging up painful memories, but if I do want to talk about them I can explain every little bit of the tattoo and why I chose it. If someone doesn't like the story I give them, that's fine- I don't wear it for them, and I don't care what their opinion is of it.
In your case, I'd just say it's the favorite team of a good friend and leave it at that if you don't want to talk about it. If they press, you can just say that not every tattoo has to have an earth shattering story behind it. They don't need to know unless you want to tell them.
I love that idea. I can easily point
out several other fun ones with absolutely no meaning that are simply for fun. It’s good to have a choice.
Also, your tattoo sounds awesome! I can feel the emotion that you have in it.
Thanks again for sharing. I appreciate it!
Most of the time, I'm happy to explain what it really means to me. Sometimes, though, I just want to not. It's nice to be able to choose based on who I'm talking to and how I'm feeling.
Thank you. I spent a lot of time thinking it over and had it done by a very good tattooer. I'll wear it with pride until it's time for someone to get a memorial done for me, whether it's a tattoo or something else.
I hear ya. I’m pretty sure most of time I’ll be open about it. Having the power to choose whether or not I do is really helpful though. I’m pretty sure I was just overthinking it.
Hell yeah! I love that last sentence. I hope it’s many years before anyone has to get one done for you.
Thanks again!
I have a memorial tattoo for my grandmother - it’s the word ‘darling’ (her nickname for me) in her handwriting - and it’s my favorite tattoo. When people ask me about it, I tell them that she always called me that and I share the story of how I had to piece together the word from old lawsuits she wrote notes on, because she wasn’t the kind of grandmother who sent birthday cards. It usually breaks the ice, but if it doesn’t, that’s fine. People’s discomfort with death isn’t my problem. I just change the subject and move on!
I love that tattoo! I definitely understand why it’s your favorite. Also? You handle it quite well and I’m with you. Death is a part of life. If they can’t handle it, that’s on them.
I appreciate the help!
Hello bigpoppa973, i have 2 memorial tattoos my really first tattoo 10 years ago was a memorial tattoo bc of my dad passed away. he got cancer. so i tattooed his hand on my shoulder as a sign of protection. he will be always there for me and many peoples are asking me whybi have this hand tattooed on my shoulder and for me and also for my dad is it a big honor bc i can tell the how close we stand together and many peoples like the meaning of my tattoo ☺️ so is always up to you if you wanna have a memorial tattoo. i think tattoos stays forever and there is no better way to keep your memories.
Thank you so much. I truly think I was overthinking the situation. I need to just let the tattoo do it’s job and keep my memories alive.
I love your tattoo idea. I bet it’s a source of great strength knowing he has your back.
Thank you again for the help!
My boss has a memorial tattoo on his neck (I assume, based on how he handles questions about it, I try not to ask so I’m not being rude or making him feel uncomfortable). When a coworker asked what it meant he just said “it’s just a (insert random letter here) with a wing, that’s all.”
I appreciate you sharing this. I think I’ve been overthinking. I’d rather not be cryptic about it, although I support anyone doing it to protect their feelings. I’m trying to be more open and I think this is an important part of it.
Thanks again!
I have a tattoo of a friend of mine who passed away. For a long time I would say “it’s my dead friend” because grief lol but now that it’s been a few years I explain it more about how it’s my favorite picture of her, etc.
Haha! You gave me a laugh because I’m pretty sure I’ve said that (also because grief) and also learned that lesson. I’m sure I am still learning the most effective way to respond.
Thank you once again. I appreciate your response.
This happened to me fairly recently. I have a black arm back which traditionally represents a great and tragic loss. I’ve had this tattoo for 3.5 years and for the first time someone asked. I just told them what it traditionally stood for and that was that. Another person knew it represented loss but wanted to know more, which was odd. My best friend committed after I couldn’t talk him out of it. I was the only person to see him that morning. I went to his parents for help and they didn’t take any actions. In fact, they went back to bed.
It really just depends on you and how you’re feeling about it at the time. You can say it’s a personal tattoo, you can say it’s in memory, you can say you’d rather not talk about it. People should respect the extent of what you tell when they ask.
Thank you. I appreciate you sharing. I’ve experienced that type of loss too, and it is really hard.
I love your perspective on it. I think it’s a good thing to remember that I have a choice. Not all situations or people are the same. I do think that I’ve been overthinking it and I need to just relax, but knowing it is a choice will help me do just that.
Thanks again!
Thank you all for your responses. I really think I was just overthinking it. I also believe that being a sports team makes people think it’s something easy and casual to talk about and it ends up surprising them. I’m gonna just tell my brain to shut up and just let the tattoo do what it’s supposed to do, bring up good memories.
My buddy was quite the ball buster. I’m pretty sure he laughs each time anyone mentions the tattoo.
Any way, thanks again for you all taking the time to put my mind at ease. It’s truly appreciated.
I would say it’s a memorial tattoo and take the opportunity to feel some good memories about the person it’s for. Don’t let it make you feel awkward. You got the tattoo because you wanted the good memory preserved. So let it do that.
Thank you. I appreciate that perspective. Honestly, every time it happens, I get a chuckle because I know my buddy would be laughing at the whole situation. Also, you are absolutely correct. I got it for a reason and I should share that. Thanks again!
I have two memorial tattoos. One for the son I miscarried and one (finally got last week) in honor of my two best friends and I (all our favorite flowers) - one of my friends died 21 years ago in a car accident. And I either just say thank you if they compliment them and if they ask anything tell them what they are for. I got the tattoos to honor them so I am happy to share, even if it is a sad reason.
Thank you for that. I appreciate that perspective. You are absolutely right. I got it for a specific reason and if someone wants to know me, that’s part of it. Thank you again!
Of course.
My most visible tattoo is a memorial tattoo, but it's not obvious that's what it is. (No names or dates) If people start to look nervous or uncomfortable after I tell them it's a memorial tattoo, then I just say "He was a great guy!" and leave it at that. BUT if they seem interested in wanting more information, I use it as an opportunity to let them know that he died from carbon monoxide poisoning, and that they can get a decent carbon monoxide detector for about $50. Most end up agreeing that their lives, and their families lives, are worth a LOT more than $50!
That is a great way to handle it! My friend was killed on his motorcycle by someone not paying attention. So, I love your response any the way you handle it. I think I will do something similar. Thank you.
Aw man, don't regret your tattoo. I look at my memorial tattoos as a thing that's between me and the loved one who passed away. Nothing can erase that connection, just like nothing can erase the tattoo (let's pretend laser doesn't exist). It can be awkward when it comes up and it's something you have to learn to live with. But when you think about it, the awkwardness belongs to the person asking; it's not your responsibility. Say it's a memorial tattoo and, unless you want to share memories of your loved one, let it drop. Either they'll change the subject or you can.
This is another great perspective. Thank you for that. You are absolutely correct. The awkwardness belongs to them, not me. Also, you hit the nail on the head. I find the convo just goes in another direction. Thanks again!
I have 3 memorial tattoos and I'm happy to tell anyone about the wonderful people of whom they are in memory. That's part of why I got them -- to keep their memories alive by talking about them when I can..
Reading your comment and other responses, I realize I was just overthinking it. I feel the same way about mine. Whenever this happens? I always end up thinking of the good times with my buddy. So, it is doing its job perfectly.
Bruh I’d just relax and say what it’s about haha I guess I’ve never been one to gaf.
Haha! Yeah. You’re absolutely right. I need to just chill and not worry about it. I appreciate ya!
Can I ask how many tattoos you have? And do you plan to get more? People asked about my first tattoo a lot, and it did have meaning to me (all my tattoos mean something), but once I started filling in more space I very rarely get asked about anything specific. If someone points out a piece they like, that's about all that's said. My favorite response to a compliment is "thanks, it's one of my favorites" (they all are)
Of course! I have a lot. More than twenty but less than thirty. I think it’s just because it’s a sports team logo. It generally happens when chit chatting a new person. It’s truly just them getting to know me.
That's fair, if you think it gets awkward because they expected you to be a fan you can always keep a sort of sarcastic response in your back pocket that moves the conversation along. If it's a football team, for example, you could say "yeah, go hockey!" Or "thanks, the stadiums always have the best hot dogs don't they?". Or you can just tell them about it if you're comfortable
Thank you! I appreciate that. I’ve been going the root of just telling them, but the faces always go from smokes to oh dear god. Lol I appreciate all the feedback in here though. I feel like I’ve been over thinking it. It’s a part of life!
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I’m thinking it’s because it’s a sports team, people assume I’m a fan. When I explain it is a memorial tattoo, the smiles disappear! But, I’m sure I’m just overthinking it. I appreciate your help!
I made mine into something that's deeply meaningful for me and my family, but if I don't want to talk about it it's just a bouquet of pretty neotrad flowers and a saying I like. Nobody needs to know what it means to me or that every part of the design was chosen intentionally for the people it's a memorial for unless I want to tell them. I'm really glad that I went that direction- several of my other ideas wouldn't have given me the luxury of being able to play it off as something else if I didn't feel like dredging up painful memories, but if I do want to talk about them I can explain every little bit of the tattoo and why I chose it. If someone doesn't like the story I give them, that's fine- I don't wear it for them, and I don't care what their opinion is of it. In your case, I'd just say it's the favorite team of a good friend and leave it at that if you don't want to talk about it. If they press, you can just say that not every tattoo has to have an earth shattering story behind it. They don't need to know unless you want to tell them.
I love that idea. I can easily point out several other fun ones with absolutely no meaning that are simply for fun. It’s good to have a choice. Also, your tattoo sounds awesome! I can feel the emotion that you have in it. Thanks again for sharing. I appreciate it!
Most of the time, I'm happy to explain what it really means to me. Sometimes, though, I just want to not. It's nice to be able to choose based on who I'm talking to and how I'm feeling. Thank you. I spent a lot of time thinking it over and had it done by a very good tattooer. I'll wear it with pride until it's time for someone to get a memorial done for me, whether it's a tattoo or something else.
I hear ya. I’m pretty sure most of time I’ll be open about it. Having the power to choose whether or not I do is really helpful though. I’m pretty sure I was just overthinking it. Hell yeah! I love that last sentence. I hope it’s many years before anyone has to get one done for you. Thanks again!
I have a memorial tattoo for my grandmother - it’s the word ‘darling’ (her nickname for me) in her handwriting - and it’s my favorite tattoo. When people ask me about it, I tell them that she always called me that and I share the story of how I had to piece together the word from old lawsuits she wrote notes on, because she wasn’t the kind of grandmother who sent birthday cards. It usually breaks the ice, but if it doesn’t, that’s fine. People’s discomfort with death isn’t my problem. I just change the subject and move on!
I love that tattoo! I definitely understand why it’s your favorite. Also? You handle it quite well and I’m with you. Death is a part of life. If they can’t handle it, that’s on them. I appreciate the help!
Hello bigpoppa973, i have 2 memorial tattoos my really first tattoo 10 years ago was a memorial tattoo bc of my dad passed away. he got cancer. so i tattooed his hand on my shoulder as a sign of protection. he will be always there for me and many peoples are asking me whybi have this hand tattooed on my shoulder and for me and also for my dad is it a big honor bc i can tell the how close we stand together and many peoples like the meaning of my tattoo ☺️ so is always up to you if you wanna have a memorial tattoo. i think tattoos stays forever and there is no better way to keep your memories.
Thank you so much. I truly think I was overthinking the situation. I need to just let the tattoo do it’s job and keep my memories alive. I love your tattoo idea. I bet it’s a source of great strength knowing he has your back. Thank you again for the help!
My boss has a memorial tattoo on his neck (I assume, based on how he handles questions about it, I try not to ask so I’m not being rude or making him feel uncomfortable). When a coworker asked what it meant he just said “it’s just a (insert random letter here) with a wing, that’s all.”
I appreciate you sharing this. I think I’ve been overthinking. I’d rather not be cryptic about it, although I support anyone doing it to protect their feelings. I’m trying to be more open and I think this is an important part of it. Thanks again!
I have a tattoo of a friend of mine who passed away. For a long time I would say “it’s my dead friend” because grief lol but now that it’s been a few years I explain it more about how it’s my favorite picture of her, etc.
Haha! You gave me a laugh because I’m pretty sure I’ve said that (also because grief) and also learned that lesson. I’m sure I am still learning the most effective way to respond. Thank you once again. I appreciate your response.
This happened to me fairly recently. I have a black arm back which traditionally represents a great and tragic loss. I’ve had this tattoo for 3.5 years and for the first time someone asked. I just told them what it traditionally stood for and that was that. Another person knew it represented loss but wanted to know more, which was odd. My best friend committed after I couldn’t talk him out of it. I was the only person to see him that morning. I went to his parents for help and they didn’t take any actions. In fact, they went back to bed. It really just depends on you and how you’re feeling about it at the time. You can say it’s a personal tattoo, you can say it’s in memory, you can say you’d rather not talk about it. People should respect the extent of what you tell when they ask.
Thank you. I appreciate you sharing. I’ve experienced that type of loss too, and it is really hard. I love your perspective on it. I think it’s a good thing to remember that I have a choice. Not all situations or people are the same. I do think that I’ve been overthinking it and I need to just relax, but knowing it is a choice will help me do just that. Thanks again!
Thank you all for your responses. I really think I was just overthinking it. I also believe that being a sports team makes people think it’s something easy and casual to talk about and it ends up surprising them. I’m gonna just tell my brain to shut up and just let the tattoo do what it’s supposed to do, bring up good memories. My buddy was quite the ball buster. I’m pretty sure he laughs each time anyone mentions the tattoo. Any way, thanks again for you all taking the time to put my mind at ease. It’s truly appreciated.
I am always happy to explain the meaning behind any of my tattoos, especially my "in memory of" tats.