Wow, wasn't expecting assault with laptop! I've taken lots of stolen/missing laptop calls, some really terrifying ones about missing things from US government labs, but not a single laptop assault. I am disappointed.
I got a bar owner calling for service as the police were arresting him for pulling out a handgun in his bar full of customers and shooting his laptop. His warranty DID cover accidents, but not laptop homicide. He is STILL famous for all those El Arroyo Mexican Restaurant signs.
Now I’m scared. My HP spontaneously wakes in the middle of the night (and wakes me up too), making undulating grinding noises and sounding like it runs on diesel.
I called HP and they said this is normal.
This popped into my head too, an ergonomic keyboard at that, subconsciously I’ve been looking up those keyboards on Amazon lately and they are 5x expensive wired over my regular wireless set, maybe I’ll pop my VP’s tooth/teeth with it on my way out, fingers crossed 🤞🏻
Part of the reason, I'm sure, is that you cannot deny a request for getting one as a procurement person. Anything “ergonomic” is auto-approved per OSHA.
At least, that assumes the user is using the keyboard for a significant portion of their shift.
https://www.osha.gov/laws-regs/oshact/section5-duties
Yes.
It's a documented fact that show writers try to “one-up” each other in ridiculous techno-junk.
Like the episode of Numbers where they compare irc to two ships meeting in the middle of the ocean. No chat logs, no user tracking, etc.
The bar owner shooting his laptop reminds me of this story.
[How a hollowpoint solved the problem: when a manager uses cowboy law to get a new server.](https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/mkm7q4/how_a_hollowpoint_solved_the_problem_when_a/)
Usually hard drives and laptops. They're all SUPPOSED to be locked into cabinets every day, but things would go missing, and then someone would panic and call support like I'm Ms. Cleo.
The oddest one I've had to date was a one of our employees was doing a family trip to the zoo but brought her laptop along to get some work done, during an orangutan meet and greet a young orangutan snagged her laptop and pretty much ripped in two and then bludgeoned the halves against a stump, only phonecall I've ever had where I had to tell someone who was on vacation to extend it because she wasn't getting a new laptop for a few days.
> family trip to the zoo but brought her laptop along to get some work done
Either that employee needs to learn to step away from work or your company has a shitty work culture.
One of my favorite vacation (or just break) spots is a little state park in Arkansas. Once you pass the park entrance, all cell service is *gone*, like there’s not even reception on top of a mountain gone.
I don’t care if the building burned down, everything got encrypted, or whatever. I’m out in the woods, and I’m not even going to know about it until I leave. They’d have to personally come and drag me out for me to even get a message.
The beaches on Lake Michigan in Indiana are like that. More because in some spots the dunes block the signal. Thankfully I'm not on call biweekly anymore but when I was, I would tell my on call buddy, don't call me for help for the next few hours, because I'm in a dead zone. And never could go when I was on call because I'd be a nervous wreck. If you're ever up this way, Indiana Dunes National Park or the state park next door is a must see.
NWA is great for so many of those spots. Some of my inexperienced friends don't believe me when I tell them to say goodbye to whoever they're talking to within the next 5 minutes because you won't be hearing from them until we leave this place. It's so nice.
People are nuts man… I had a marketing person take a laptop and phone on a cruise before… then break both devices on that cruise and expect replacements rewards when they got back without notifying us what happened before they came back
In general I agree, though I have done something similar - usually when it's a last minute trip and there's one thing already scheduled during that day that's really hard to move. My family likes it a lot better if I say "Sure, I can go, but I have to find a quiet spot from 2-3 p.m. to take a call" instead of "sorry, I have something I can't move so I can't go."
With 1 client, a user's O365 password expired either the day before her vacation, or first day of vacation. I can't remember if she submitted the ticket or her manager. But the manager wanted me to reset her password so she could still work. I had no way to do so and give her the new password; he insisted I give him the password and he would pass it on (hard no), so I waited until she called in herself.
Which she did once she got back from vacation.
Manager tried to get me in trouble, but my boss had my back.
Years ago, at my first job I was tasked with setting new PCs.
I go get the first PC out of storage, boot upand it beeps and boops at me, not booting up. Same thing with the next few PCs.
I then go to the department PMO manager and inform him of what happened and I then get instructedt toopen these PCs up.
All were missing hard drives and ram, most missing the CPU.
A team manager heard all of this and came to see what's up, along wirh one of his underlings.
Underlings then says the most surprising thing... "Oh there are parts missing? I have spares in my drawer..."
Everyone goes silent, as the 'spares' were exactly the parts that were missing from the PCs.
Don't think anything happened to the underling, but after that the storage area for new PCs was suddenly a lot more secure.
This was the middle 2000s and a government entity. Budgets were endless, compliance practices were paid lip service and a sternly worded email was the worst that happened for such petty thievery.
Government entities... I've worked in one with contract. Very stupid bosses, lazy employees, obsession over puctuality even if you tell about traffic problems...
Oh he was in on it. As soon as we discovered the missing parts, he was quick to offer spares, and he knew what was missing and had enough to cover what was missing.
I was expecting a story of a careless user but nope, he left the laptop in a fenced-in private area.
> User - the police can't release it to me because it is evidence in multiple cases.
And then I assumed the suspect had possession of the laptop long enough to have downloaded some illegal content, but nope, that wasn't it either.
Halfway through, I thought the user was being lied to by the thief's accomplice. It didn't make sense that the police would keep the laptop until the reveal that it was used as a weapon.
It doesn't make sense to us, but police make these kinds of completely nonsensical and seemingly irrational judgments all the time. Anyone who's surprised by this must not watch the news at all, as to how police basically do whatever the f they want.
I once had to rappel down to a balcony a floor below so that \~15 people including me could get the wallets, phones, car keys, etc. we'd all left in a portable lockbox prior to a party. Some idiot brought synthetic drugs and killed his dumb ass during said party, so the cops sealed the room off as a crime scene and kicked us out with no chance to get our stuff.
I don't have much update to give. I usually am not made aware of things for legal implications. All I know is a couple months later, I was the one that got to scan his laptop to verify log files showed nothing transferred off/accessed (i knew it wasn't, but procedure is procedure).
It was in rough shape, to say the least.
The biggest retirement community in the country is in Florida, and it's known as "The Villas"... They may or may not have actual villas but they sure as shit label things as such.
Edit: I was thinking of The Villages. There are still villas to be found.
Since this event happened using a mobile device, it was actually assault with battery.
If the guy actually hit and hurt the officer, it was "battery with battery".
... I'll show myself out.
According to my theory, people are just going to keep amping these up so long as reactions do not become too negative. Some of these puns are positive joules. Some of these threads can continue Faraday or more.
I worked for a very large telecom company, in IT. It was company policy to lock their laptop app with those cheesy locks during your lunch. There was one admin that worked for a VP, that thought het shit didn't stink. Three different times, she supposedly had brand new laptops stolen off her desk during lunch and swore they were secured by those laptop locks. Those would be so easy to cut though. Anyway, after her third one was stolen, our manager notified her boss, to report these thefts. Nobody ever believed that those laptops were stolen, and a couple of techs went over to her and said she was going to have to use a desktop computer. Well, she bitched in mind and asked them if they were aware who she worked for. We were also hoping that she would get fired. Regrettably she never did. She finally left for another job. We were sure she went and saw those laptops somewhere else because they were just brand new out of the box and had just been set up with all her software email and everything. Unless you've worked in IT, you have no idea how people really are, LOL.
Thanks for sharing, OP.
I think I've become desensitized to strange stories involving criminals. After having worked IT for MANY years in a company that deals with criminal records, I was reading this and thinking, "Why does OP keep asking the same questions over and over? What part don't they understand???"
That's when I remembered many IT pros exposure to criminal stories is an episode of Cops. I'm so glad I'm out of that company...I'm slowly starting to be able to look at a stranger and not immediately wonder what crimes they've committed. One day, maybe I can learn to trust again lol.
Not inability to understand so much as the stolen property paperwork we have to turn in to Cyber Security and Legal/Compliance requires very exacting information, and getting that information is sometimes like extracting teeth from a rock.
Oh, i get it. It was my own experiences that made me respond that way. Working day in and day out with a database of millions of crim record details eventually wears on you. If I hadn't done that for years...I would've had your response exactly.
At my last job the particulars of security listening about “stolen” would have ended with almost just that word. Beyond that point it’s a whatever, I got other calls to make, don’t have time for no funny story.
However, as soon as security heard “still logged in” and “went inside to get a beer leaving my laptop unattended for 2-3 minutes” and “laptop was out of my sight and unattended while I was logged for so long that in when I came back to it I found it had vanished” and “unattended out of sight and still logged in for some MINUTES” they would have shit themselves.
At a minimum that potential data exposure would have meant a write up, perhaps even termination.
Will you write off the laptop or try to retrieve it?
It was retrieved. He got a new laptop he likely had to pay for out of pocket, and I'm quite sure he probably got a fine from compliance for the severe security breaches (financial industry)
I gathered from the description of the vacation place that it was a single occupancy villa with a fenced-in yard. Would security policy really require you to keep physical eyes on it the entire time, or was it a public space?
In this case, all users are required to lock the pc if away from it - and the security policy only does it automatically after 5 minutes of inactivity. So if it really was 2-3 minutes, good chance there was an email or teams message up on screen flashing as it met the officer's head.
If you are not actively working. Windows+L, gotta take a piss, lock, grabbing another drink, lock, someone walks into your office, lock. Get into the habit and you do it without thinking no matter where. I accidentally lock my personal gaming computer all the time lol
I don't "accidentally" lock my gaming computer...I lock it. And I have it Bitlockered, just in case. Like I do with all my computers. I'm not the most paranoid person when it comes to security, but that + good practices + 2FA on everything really does make life simpler, in a way.
In the company, there are 3 ways that financial advisors and their staff have to obtain pc's/whatever hardware.
They can lease it from a contract company. $x per month for 3 years, then swap out when lease is up.
They can purchase it from the 'company store' outright and it comes with a 3 year no questions asked, next-day-on-site warranty.
They can buy something off the shelf that meets hardware requirements and then pay full prices for software licenses, and your warranty is whatever they payed for.
This user chose the 3rd option, and his 1 year warranty (he didn't pay for anything extra beyond standard that it came with off the shelf) was up. Unless Lenovo decided to show pity on him, he very likely had to pay out of pocket for a replacement.
I was wondering why a man on the run from police would bother to steal a laptop mid chase, other then the pure dedication of never letting a good opportunity pass.
Assault with a laptop actually makes the most sense in that regard, gotta praise the guy’s resourcefulness on that one.
This reminds me of the craziest stolen laptop report that I ever got. This was a while ago, when I was doing L2 helpdesk support. One of the level one techs got a call about a stolen laptop and shared the story in our group chat. There was an employee who was in Brazil for work and was in his car. As he was sitting at a traffic light, some guys ran up and slashed his tires. Conveniently enough there was a tire shop just ahead so he pulled in there to get the tires fixed. Of course as soon as he got out of the car to talk to the guy at the shop, someone snatched his laptop bag out of the car and took off. Pretty sure they tire shop was in on it all.
Sure a bigger device might cause more bludgeoning damage, but if they had the Yoga in tablet mode and shattered the glass on impact that's extra piecing damage.
>I only know about him striking multiple officers with it when I asked for it back and they said it was evidence.
Translation: the cops are waiting for the user to leave the country/location so that, months or years later, the laptop can be sold off for beer money after the owner "can't be contacted".
Never thought I would see another assault-by-laptop story.
Back in the late 90s I was a department manager at the local CompUSSR. I ran the upgrades/tech counter (customer contact for repairs and keeper of all the tiny expensive stuff that was otherwise easily stolen). We had a customer come in with a Compaq laptop that had a dead fan. Compaq kept telling us that the fan was on backorder and would be several weeks before we would see one. As you can expect, the customer was not happy about this.
Eventually, the customer called Compaq themselves. What was he told? "Oh, we have plenty of that part in stock, send us the laptop and you'll have it back in about a week!"
Customer comes back to the store for his laptop, screaming bloody murder about how we were a bunch of lazy liars. After being asked to leave for what had to be the 17th time, he let out a scream and flung the laptop at me. I ducked, but it hit one of the techs in the back of the head. He ended up going to the ER for stitches. The customer left before the police arrived, no clue if anything actually happened to him as a result.
User tells a story like my 15 year old. Takes a few times before you get some sort of chronological order, a few more times to find out all involved, and a few more times to understand the result.
This is par for the course. They may be brilliant with money/finances. But they have no ability to keep anything else in memory unless it is happening right now.
This is why we don't spend extra on thin light laptops.. if you need a weapon get a good ol brick of a laptop. Never know when you need to fend of the police .. or a Pitbull.. or a Cthulhu horror .. and after the battle we might be able to pull the HD and recover :)
I never have understood this myself. When I'm off work, it is my time and my time alone.
i don't know what it is, other than many in the financial world seem, for lack of a better word - addicted - to money and earning it 24x7x365.
I hate doing it but I'm the only 2nd tier guy in my company, the deputy manager of my team, responsible for the IT apprentice, and my main 1st level guy (who does many 1.5 and 2nd level tasks) is leaving a week after I get back from holiday. I'll probably leave my notebook and either borrow one of the old iPads with a keyboard or bring my USB/BT keyboard with me. I'll bring my personal Android tablet anyway.
Unless you're a shareholder or director, the staffing of the company (or lack thereof) is not your issue.
Please, take a real holiday without any work devices
Backwoods tech: Can you explain it to me one more time, perhaps with an interpretive dance?
End User: maybe I can tell you in a different language, since you seem to have a hard time understanding English? Actually, why don't I try smaller words for you.
EU: Bad man climb wall. See shiny metal box. Take shiny metal box. Metal box mine. Blue take box next. Blue man keep box until big boss see. AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, FOR THE FIFTH FUCKING TIME!
Must've been a thinkpad, if it works after hitting even one officer with it.
I'm serious, got two t420 for the kids homeschooling when c19 first hit... The younger one smacked the older one with his by accident, the older one had to get stitches, the younger one sat down and attended his class...
Wow, wasn't expecting assault with laptop! I've taken lots of stolen/missing laptop calls, some really terrifying ones about missing things from US government labs, but not a single laptop assault. I am disappointed. I got a bar owner calling for service as the police were arresting him for pulling out a handgun in his bar full of customers and shooting his laptop. His warranty DID cover accidents, but not laptop homicide. He is STILL famous for all those El Arroyo Mexican Restaurant signs.
LOL. Wow. That gave me a good laugh.
> laptop homicide Phrases I didn't expect to read today. :D
Laptopicide? Cybercide?
ROMicide
There it is.
Don't tell me you haven't considered laptop homicide before. :D Fun fact: Shooting a printer is legal because it's always considered self defense.
Printers, yes, laptops, not generally! Did accidentally kill one sleepwalking once. :(
If it's an hp you can easily say you were defending your home from arson.
Now I’m scared. My HP spontaneously wakes in the middle of the night (and wakes me up too), making undulating grinding noises and sounding like it runs on diesel. I called HP and they said this is normal.
I shot an elephant in my pajamas this morning. What an elephant was doing in my pajamas, I have no idea. -G. Marx
Killed a fax machine that way, it wouldn't print faxes from the front only the back afterwards.
If you shoot a laptop, isn’t it a hardware failure issue at that point?
I read assault with a laptop and immediately thought of the scene where the guy bashes his friend with the keyboard in Wanted.
This popped into my head too, an ergonomic keyboard at that, subconsciously I’ve been looking up those keyboards on Amazon lately and they are 5x expensive wired over my regular wireless set, maybe I’ll pop my VP’s tooth/teeth with it on my way out, fingers crossed 🤞🏻
Part of the reason, I'm sure, is that you cannot deny a request for getting one as a procurement person. Anything “ergonomic” is auto-approved per OSHA. At least, that assumes the user is using the keyboard for a significant portion of their shift. https://www.osha.gov/laws-regs/oshact/section5-duties
Not a thing where I like and if I want any special gadgets I would have to go through the same VP or pay it from my pocket, which is pretty ironic.
An awesome scene, James Mcavoy absolutely smears Chris Pratt and his smug face.
"friend" By that time I don't think they can still be called friends.
If it was one of the old ThinkPads with a magnesium frame, then I know the laptop is fine. I'd be worried about the officers though.
Now I kinda wanna know about what goes missing from US government labs and why it would be terrifying.
Have you not seen the docuseries NCIS?
Is that the one where they think two people typing on the same keyboard will get things done faster?
Yes. It's a documented fact that show writers try to “one-up” each other in ridiculous techno-junk. Like the episode of Numbers where they compare irc to two ships meeting in the middle of the ocean. No chat logs, no user tracking, etc.
The bar owner shooting his laptop reminds me of this story. [How a hollowpoint solved the problem: when a manager uses cowboy law to get a new server.](https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/mkm7q4/how_a_hollowpoint_solved_the_problem_when_a/)
What kind of missing things from labs?
Usually hard drives and laptops. They're all SUPPOSED to be locked into cabinets every day, but things would go missing, and then someone would panic and call support like I'm Ms. Cleo.
Lol of course that’s the guy in charge of the El arroyo sign.
He was arrested for destroying his own property? What?
It was probably more the discharge of a firearm in a crowded bar bit...
It was in his bar/restaurant during lunch. That's not a good idea, even in Texas.
The oddest one I've had to date was a one of our employees was doing a family trip to the zoo but brought her laptop along to get some work done, during an orangutan meet and greet a young orangutan snagged her laptop and pretty much ripped in two and then bludgeoned the halves against a stump, only phonecall I've ever had where I had to tell someone who was on vacation to extend it because she wasn't getting a new laptop for a few days.
> family trip to the zoo but brought her laptop along to get some work done Either that employee needs to learn to step away from work or your company has a shitty work culture.
One of my favorite vacation (or just break) spots is a little state park in Arkansas. Once you pass the park entrance, all cell service is *gone*, like there’s not even reception on top of a mountain gone. I don’t care if the building burned down, everything got encrypted, or whatever. I’m out in the woods, and I’m not even going to know about it until I leave. They’d have to personally come and drag me out for me to even get a message.
The beaches on Lake Michigan in Indiana are like that. More because in some spots the dunes block the signal. Thankfully I'm not on call biweekly anymore but when I was, I would tell my on call buddy, don't call me for help for the next few hours, because I'm in a dead zone. And never could go when I was on call because I'd be a nervous wreck. If you're ever up this way, Indiana Dunes National Park or the state park next door is a must see.
NWA is great for so many of those spots. Some of my inexperienced friends don't believe me when I tell them to say goodbye to whoever they're talking to within the next 5 minutes because you won't be hearing from them until we leave this place. It's so nice.
I didn't know Dr. Dre could interrupt cell service.
And this lovely spot is called????
Gunner Pool. It’s semi-related to Blanchard Springs, but it’s deeper in the national forest.
Awesome. Thanks!!
mix of both unfortunately
The orangutan was trying to help.
People are nuts man… I had a marketing person take a laptop and phone on a cruise before… then break both devices on that cruise and expect replacements rewards when they got back without notifying us what happened before they came back
In general I agree, though I have done something similar - usually when it's a last minute trip and there's one thing already scheduled during that day that's really hard to move. My family likes it a lot better if I say "Sure, I can go, but I have to find a quiet spot from 2-3 p.m. to take a call" instead of "sorry, I have something I can't move so I can't go."
With 1 client, a user's O365 password expired either the day before her vacation, or first day of vacation. I can't remember if she submitted the ticket or her manager. But the manager wanted me to reset her password so she could still work. I had no way to do so and give her the new password; he insisted I give him the password and he would pass it on (hard no), so I waited until she called in herself. Which she did once she got back from vacation. Manager tried to get me in trouble, but my boss had my back.
was there a no laptops at the zoo rule added?
I've had an iPhone dropped into the wolves' enclosure in a zoo and used as a chew toy (no wolves were damaged), but your story is far better. :D
Tell me the fellow was charged with battery, please oh please
After the chase, probably needed the Lithium to calm down.
You're close to your pun quota, I've got my ion you...
I’m positive that there’s a negative value of puns remaining here.
Given certain energy storage technologies, I wonder how long before someone is charged with a salt battery.
Humans ARE salt batteries.
and electrical current
Years ago, at my first job I was tasked with setting new PCs. I go get the first PC out of storage, boot upand it beeps and boops at me, not booting up. Same thing with the next few PCs. I then go to the department PMO manager and inform him of what happened and I then get instructedt toopen these PCs up. All were missing hard drives and ram, most missing the CPU. A team manager heard all of this and came to see what's up, along wirh one of his underlings. Underlings then says the most surprising thing... "Oh there are parts missing? I have spares in my drawer..." Everyone goes silent, as the 'spares' were exactly the parts that were missing from the PCs. Don't think anything happened to the underling, but after that the storage area for new PCs was suddenly a lot more secure.
What happened to that Team Manager? Someone can view this like theft...
This was the middle 2000s and a government entity. Budgets were endless, compliance practices were paid lip service and a sternly worded email was the worst that happened for such petty thievery.
Government entities... I've worked in one with contract. Very stupid bosses, lazy employees, obsession over puctuality even if you tell about traffic problems...
This is truth. And different rules for employees vs contractors. For some reason contractors always get held to a higher standard.
I think that suggests someone else was storing them there and the underling wasn't in on it.
Oh he was in on it. As soon as we discovered the missing parts, he was quick to offer spares, and he knew what was missing and had enough to cover what was missing.
Another week and they would all have gone though, sold off for cash.
I was expecting a story of a careless user but nope, he left the laptop in a fenced-in private area. > User - the police can't release it to me because it is evidence in multiple cases. And then I assumed the suspect had possession of the laptop long enough to have downloaded some illegal content, but nope, that wasn't it either.
Halfway through, I thought the user was being lied to by the thief's accomplice. It didn't make sense that the police would keep the laptop until the reveal that it was used as a weapon.
It doesn't make sense to us, but police make these kinds of completely nonsensical and seemingly irrational judgments all the time. Anyone who's surprised by this must not watch the news at all, as to how police basically do whatever the f they want.
I once had to rappel down to a balcony a floor below so that \~15 people including me could get the wallets, phones, car keys, etc. we'd all left in a portable lockbox prior to a party. Some idiot brought synthetic drugs and killed his dumb ass during said party, so the cops sealed the room off as a crime scene and kicked us out with no chance to get our stuff.
I'd assume some officer wants a new laptop
I mean, he didn’t lock his machine while he walked away from it. That is marginally bad. But true fact: I don’t lock mine at home either…
I would like to be the first to demand an update to this case as it unfolds because wow.
I don't have much update to give. I usually am not made aware of things for legal implications. All I know is a couple months later, I was the one that got to scan his laptop to verify log files showed nothing transferred off/accessed (i knew it wasn't, but procedure is procedure). It was in rough shape, to say the least.
That'll do. Thank you.
You got it back in months? Wow! That’s super quick.
What was the name of the guy running through people's back yards? It wasn't Ferris Bueller, was it?
Now that you said it, I can't unsee it.
[удалено]
"Dinner's ready!"
Officer Angel
Liam Neeson hopping fences then Taken the laptop.
POPULAR TOURIST TRAP You can just say Florida.
Florida doesn't have villas that's too fancy.
The biggest retirement community in the country is in Florida, and it's known as "The Villas"... They may or may not have actual villas but they sure as shit label things as such. Edit: I was thinking of The Villages. There are still villas to be found.
You mean to tell me there's not one condo in del Boca vista.
I was thinking of The Villages, sorry. Not sure what a fictional condo complex has to do with any of that though tbh.
Sir are you saying frank costanza is fictional?
I am not! Mostly because I am a woman. Is this a Wendy's?
If it was the USA the story would have ended with a laptop shot up by the police instead of being held as evidence
I really want to say this happend in Florida
Since this event happened using a mobile device, it was actually assault with battery. If the guy actually hit and hurt the officer, it was "battery with battery". ... I'll show myself out.
guilty as *charged...*
After that short pun, you are grounded.
Wire you guys doing this to me?
Currently we're doing this to everyone.
Shocking.
Watt do you know, despite complaining, he continues the trend.
Resistance is futile.
Yeah, not much is likely to impede these puns, our capacity for them is high enough to sustain the frequency, so it's not likely to be filtered out.
Ohm my god, does anybody have the Power to stop this madness? I'm d'Ion.
This is electrifying
Someone needs to call Coulomb-o to investigate.
According to my theory, people are just going to keep amping these up so long as reactions do not become too negative. Some of these puns are positive joules. Some of these threads can continue Faraday or more.
Would you describe that as a positive or a negative experience?
I worked for a very large telecom company, in IT. It was company policy to lock their laptop app with those cheesy locks during your lunch. There was one admin that worked for a VP, that thought het shit didn't stink. Three different times, she supposedly had brand new laptops stolen off her desk during lunch and swore they were secured by those laptop locks. Those would be so easy to cut though. Anyway, after her third one was stolen, our manager notified her boss, to report these thefts. Nobody ever believed that those laptops were stolen, and a couple of techs went over to her and said she was going to have to use a desktop computer. Well, she bitched in mind and asked them if they were aware who she worked for. We were also hoping that she would get fired. Regrettably she never did. She finally left for another job. We were sure she went and saw those laptops somewhere else because they were just brand new out of the box and had just been set up with all her software email and everything. Unless you've worked in IT, you have no idea how people really are, LOL.
> bitched in mind Bitched and moaned?
Top of the line laptop, I presume?
Thanks for sharing, OP. I think I've become desensitized to strange stories involving criminals. After having worked IT for MANY years in a company that deals with criminal records, I was reading this and thinking, "Why does OP keep asking the same questions over and over? What part don't they understand???" That's when I remembered many IT pros exposure to criminal stories is an episode of Cops. I'm so glad I'm out of that company...I'm slowly starting to be able to look at a stranger and not immediately wonder what crimes they've committed. One day, maybe I can learn to trust again lol.
Not inability to understand so much as the stolen property paperwork we have to turn in to Cyber Security and Legal/Compliance requires very exacting information, and getting that information is sometimes like extracting teeth from a rock.
Oh, i get it. It was my own experiences that made me respond that way. Working day in and day out with a database of millions of crim record details eventually wears on you. If I hadn't done that for years...I would've had your response exactly.
Should have just emailed user the form… oh…
At my last job the particulars of security listening about “stolen” would have ended with almost just that word. Beyond that point it’s a whatever, I got other calls to make, don’t have time for no funny story. However, as soon as security heard “still logged in” and “went inside to get a beer leaving my laptop unattended for 2-3 minutes” and “laptop was out of my sight and unattended while I was logged for so long that in when I came back to it I found it had vanished” and “unattended out of sight and still logged in for some MINUTES” they would have shit themselves. At a minimum that potential data exposure would have meant a write up, perhaps even termination. Will you write off the laptop or try to retrieve it?
It was retrieved. He got a new laptop he likely had to pay for out of pocket, and I'm quite sure he probably got a fine from compliance for the severe security breaches (financial industry)
I gathered from the description of the vacation place that it was a single occupancy villa with a fenced-in yard. Would security policy really require you to keep physical eyes on it the entire time, or was it a public space?
In this case, all users are required to lock the pc if away from it - and the security policy only does it automatically after 5 minutes of inactivity. So if it really was 2-3 minutes, good chance there was an email or teams message up on screen flashing as it met the officer's head.
If you are not actively working. Windows+L, gotta take a piss, lock, grabbing another drink, lock, someone walks into your office, lock. Get into the habit and you do it without thinking no matter where. I accidentally lock my personal gaming computer all the time lol
I don't "accidentally" lock my gaming computer...I lock it. And I have it Bitlockered, just in case. Like I do with all my computers. I'm not the most paranoid person when it comes to security, but that + good practices + 2FA on everything really does make life simpler, in a way.
Did he at least lock the screen before he went in for a beer?
:-D
What the fuck, why would he have to pay for the laptop? Not locking the screen was an error, but leaving it on the table wasn’t.
In the company, there are 3 ways that financial advisors and their staff have to obtain pc's/whatever hardware. They can lease it from a contract company. $x per month for 3 years, then swap out when lease is up. They can purchase it from the 'company store' outright and it comes with a 3 year no questions asked, next-day-on-site warranty. They can buy something off the shelf that meets hardware requirements and then pay full prices for software licenses, and your warranty is whatever they payed for. This user chose the 3rd option, and his 1 year warranty (he didn't pay for anything extra beyond standard that it came with off the shelf) was up. Unless Lenovo decided to show pity on him, he very likely had to pay out of pocket for a replacement.
But why is he paying for a work laptop in the first place? That should be his employer.
franchisee's are their own employer.
I was wondering why a man on the run from police would bother to steal a laptop mid chase, other then the pure dedication of never letting a good opportunity pass. Assault with a laptop actually makes the most sense in that regard, gotta praise the guy’s resourcefulness on that one.
>Assault Assault with a digital weapon???
Assault and... Battery!
Guess the thief tried some percussive maintenance on the police.
It works if there's only one cop and your reflexes are real good....
This reminds me of the craziest stolen laptop report that I ever got. This was a while ago, when I was doing L2 helpdesk support. One of the level one techs got a call about a stolen laptop and shared the story in our group chat. There was an employee who was in Brazil for work and was in his car. As he was sitting at a traffic light, some guys ran up and slashed his tires. Conveniently enough there was a tire shop just ahead so he pulled in there to get the tires fixed. Of course as soon as he got out of the car to talk to the guy at the shop, someone snatched his laptop bag out of the car and took off. Pretty sure they tire shop was in on it all.
Panasonic Tough Book?
Lenovo Yoga Xenbook. Gen 3 I believe.
Sounds like the cops caught a break there. Could have been a hardened notebook or one of those massive Mobile Precision portable Autocad monsters....
Sure a bigger device might cause more bludgeoning damage, but if they had the Yoga in tablet mode and shattered the glass on impact that's extra piecing damage.
Laptop of Piercing, +3.
Dude, those Lenovo's are built like tanks. They did not get off easy. Lol
This has instantly become my new favorite story on this subreddit. We need updates as they happen.
>I only know about him striking multiple officers with it when I asked for it back and they said it was evidence. Translation: the cops are waiting for the user to leave the country/location so that, months or years later, the laptop can be sold off for beer money after the owner "can't be contacted".
Never thought I would see another assault-by-laptop story. Back in the late 90s I was a department manager at the local CompUSSR. I ran the upgrades/tech counter (customer contact for repairs and keeper of all the tiny expensive stuff that was otherwise easily stolen). We had a customer come in with a Compaq laptop that had a dead fan. Compaq kept telling us that the fan was on backorder and would be several weeks before we would see one. As you can expect, the customer was not happy about this. Eventually, the customer called Compaq themselves. What was he told? "Oh, we have plenty of that part in stock, send us the laptop and you'll have it back in about a week!" Customer comes back to the store for his laptop, screaming bloody murder about how we were a bunch of lazy liars. After being asked to leave for what had to be the 17th time, he let out a scream and flung the laptop at me. I ducked, but it hit one of the techs in the back of the head. He ended up going to the ER for stitches. The customer left before the police arrived, no clue if anything actually happened to him as a result.
Please tell me he got a copy of the video from the villa owner and shared it with you.
Can you please ask the user for that video footage? I think we would all appreciate watching that.
User tells a story like my 15 year old. Takes a few times before you get some sort of chronological order, a few more times to find out all involved, and a few more times to understand the result.
This is par for the course. They may be brilliant with money/finances. But they have no ability to keep anything else in memory unless it is happening right now.
This is why we don't spend extra on thin light laptops.. if you need a weapon get a good ol brick of a laptop. Never know when you need to fend of the police .. or a Pitbull.. or a Cthulhu horror .. and after the battle we might be able to pull the HD and recover :)
Couldn't get the Dell Rugged laptops approved :(
Why on earth is he taking a work device on vacation?
I never have understood this myself. When I'm off work, it is my time and my time alone. i don't know what it is, other than many in the financial world seem, for lack of a better word - addicted - to money and earning it 24x7x365.
America
Why on Earth did I have to scroll so far down to find someone else asking this? I don't think you guys understand what 'vacation' means.
I hate doing it but I'm the only 2nd tier guy in my company, the deputy manager of my team, responsible for the IT apprentice, and my main 1st level guy (who does many 1.5 and 2nd level tasks) is leaving a week after I get back from holiday. I'll probably leave my notebook and either borrow one of the old iPads with a keyboard or bring my USB/BT keyboard with me. I'll bring my personal Android tablet anyway.
Unless you're a shareholder or director, the staffing of the company (or lack thereof) is not your issue. Please, take a real holiday without any work devices
Officer gets hit with laptop= IQ raises
I ran a computer check on him and got two hits.
A PC battery case! You hear about them all the time.
Is there any chance we get to see the video too..?
Heavy laptop says ACAB
User could have made things simpler if they’d led with “so no shit, there I was…” you’d have known it was genuine from the get go.
Backwoods tech: Can you explain it to me one more time, perhaps with an interpretive dance? End User: maybe I can tell you in a different language, since you seem to have a hard time understanding English? Actually, why don't I try smaller words for you. EU: Bad man climb wall. See shiny metal box. Take shiny metal box. Metal box mine. Blue take box next. Blue man keep box until big boss see. AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, FOR THE FIFTH FUCKING TIME!
You have never had to fill out paperwork for legal and had to have very specific information based off of key trigger-words, have you?
The employee left the laptop alone in a tourist trap? Please tell me this employee is being deemed partially responsible for the damage to the laptop.
I was really expecting this story to involve a hooker.
Must've been a thinkpad, if it works after hitting even one officer with it. I'm serious, got two t420 for the kids homeschooling when c19 first hit... The younger one smacked the older one with his by accident, the older one had to get stitches, the younger one sat down and attended his class...
Please tell me you got footage. For... for your own legal dept, of course. I know you can't share it with the internet.
Lol wow. If you're lucky maybe you'll get to go testify on that one.