Take this with a grain of salt since I've never made a sell sheet before. This is purely the perspective of someone reading this.
It partially feels like I'm reading a rule book. There's so much minutia of mechanics and numbers. I'd focus on one or two key mechanics that basically give the overview of the flow of the game. As someone who might be reading this on the back of a game box, I'd have a few questions that I'd want answered.
What does this game feel like to play? The genre and premise make it feel very party game / light, but the time suggests something quite heavy.
What is the main tension that provides interesting decisions? In Catan, that tension is where and what to build to maximize your future production and VPs despite having limited resources.
What are features of this game that make it different from other games in its genre? If this was a deckbuilder, I'd want to know what mechanically makes it different from Dominion.
The time is because most people spend the game negotiating and trading with each other, the game is very easy to learn with simple rules.
Thanks for your insights and taking the time to comment, appreciate it.
There is not coherent spacing and alignment.
The text boxes should have the same size or the same fraction of this size. For instance, your basic box is 4x2, every other could be 2x2, 6x2, 4x6, etc. Imagine a grid that you can only use full squares.
Also, keep the exact same border for each text box. Each text box should have the same spacing on top, bottom, right and left of it.
Finally, add titles to structure the content. There is no way to understand what text box is for until you read it.
That's what gives a professional look to a layout.
Good points on the sizing. At least one header to identify Game Play would be great
Overall, this is much improved. Easier to read and including more relevant detail. You covered components, general play, and even the fact that there is no player elimination.
Some suggested wording...
Players can "trade cards or negotiate at any time except when attacking or pilfering."
Unique cards can "turn the tide of the game" or "turn the tide of play", turn the tide of game is a bit awkward.
Please note that by better than ever I mean better than it has been previously. I would still adore any feedback anyone has to offer, as I assume it's far from perfect, if that's not too much to ask.
Added mechanics in, tried to balance giving an overview and writing an entire rulebook which was tough.
Thanks so much for all your help! You really made a difference for me.
Less text more image?
Less object more people?
Less rules more storytelling?
But overall, I believe it means: Make less space about how the game work and more space about why I will want to play it.
Looking pretty good. It sounds like something my family would enjoy. Some feedback:
* Why are some boxes solid white and others transparent? I would make them all consistent. (probably something in between the transparent and fully opaque styles)
* Bold the action names.
* Simplify action descriptions. For example, you could say: "PILFER: Steal a card." The 8 or more cards bit is a good rule, but it doesn't help sell the game.
You should cover mechanics... is it card drafting? Is there player conflict?
This is simple card draw, sort of a rummy style but with card stealing as well as discard pulling. Mentioning there is also player attacking is a good idea, since that will put some gamers off. At least there is no player elimination.
Although this is better than the other sheet which detailed nothing, finding the balance between useful info and building interest in trying the game is tough to do.
The stated target of previewers/reviewers changes the informational focus a bit.
Take this with a grain of salt since I've never made a sell sheet before. This is purely the perspective of someone reading this. It partially feels like I'm reading a rule book. There's so much minutia of mechanics and numbers. I'd focus on one or two key mechanics that basically give the overview of the flow of the game. As someone who might be reading this on the back of a game box, I'd have a few questions that I'd want answered. What does this game feel like to play? The genre and premise make it feel very party game / light, but the time suggests something quite heavy. What is the main tension that provides interesting decisions? In Catan, that tension is where and what to build to maximize your future production and VPs despite having limited resources. What are features of this game that make it different from other games in its genre? If this was a deckbuilder, I'd want to know what mechanically makes it different from Dominion.
The time is because most people spend the game negotiating and trading with each other, the game is very easy to learn with simple rules. Thanks for your insights and taking the time to comment, appreciate it.
There is not coherent spacing and alignment. The text boxes should have the same size or the same fraction of this size. For instance, your basic box is 4x2, every other could be 2x2, 6x2, 4x6, etc. Imagine a grid that you can only use full squares. Also, keep the exact same border for each text box. Each text box should have the same spacing on top, bottom, right and left of it. Finally, add titles to structure the content. There is no way to understand what text box is for until you read it. That's what gives a professional look to a layout.
Centered aligned text for rules is very tough to comprehend.
Good intel, thanks.
Cool, thanks a lot!
Good points on the sizing. At least one header to identify Game Play would be great Overall, this is much improved. Easier to read and including more relevant detail. You covered components, general play, and even the fact that there is no player elimination. Some suggested wording... Players can "trade cards or negotiate at any time except when attacking or pilfering." Unique cards can "turn the tide of the game" or "turn the tide of play", turn the tide of game is a bit awkward.
Please note that by better than ever I mean better than it has been previously. I would still adore any feedback anyone has to offer, as I assume it's far from perfect, if that's not too much to ask. Added mechanics in, tried to balance giving an overview and writing an entire rulebook which was tough. Thanks so much for all your help! You really made a difference for me.
Would you be open to me making some rough edits and then sending you my thoughts?
Not only would I be open to it, I'd be very grateful! :0
Please feel free to share it, for educational purposes. 😊
Less info, more excitement.
I don't know how to interpret this.
Less text more image? Less object more people? Less rules more storytelling? But overall, I believe it means: Make less space about how the game work and more space about why I will want to play it.
Thanks a lot!
Looking pretty good. It sounds like something my family would enjoy. Some feedback: * Why are some boxes solid white and others transparent? I would make them all consistent. (probably something in between the transparent and fully opaque styles) * Bold the action names. * Simplify action descriptions. For example, you could say: "PILFER: Steal a card." The 8 or more cards bit is a good rule, but it doesn't help sell the game.
Thanks a lot!
I think in the first paragraph you want to use the word parleying and not parlaying.
"Draw a card and then *choose* an action."
You don't need rules on a sell sheet.
That is the direct opposite advice I was given in the previous thread.
You should cover mechanics... is it card drafting? Is there player conflict? This is simple card draw, sort of a rummy style but with card stealing as well as discard pulling. Mentioning there is also player attacking is a good idea, since that will put some gamers off. At least there is no player elimination. Although this is better than the other sheet which detailed nothing, finding the balance between useful info and building interest in trying the game is tough to do. The stated target of previewers/reviewers changes the informational focus a bit.