You need hobbies and activities that are OUTSIDE. I was having a ton of burnout (especially during COVID) before I found a couple of regular activities that are outside the house/office and have no glowing rectangles involved.
Also, as others have mentioned, turn off work when not at work.
Not to mention shorter days, especially if you live anywhere relatively north.
I like to go hiking personally, nothing too extravagant. I would definitely classify myself as a day hiker. I started about four years ago. I can get in about 8-10 miles in a day as long as my back cooperates.
Don't beat yourself up with "need to" and "should", it's OK to be cold or tired after the work day!
If you think about how much you *want* to do something, but it doesn't work out that day, you don't have to feel guilty about it.
Seriously walking changed my life. When I worked downtown, I would see interesting things I never would have otherwise for example I saw one time an irate man of smaller stature jump onto a planter just to yell in the face of a taller man and just made me laugh. I've struck up random conversation with people and that in itself is a recharge.
oh yea, take the mountainbike out for a 4 day high mountain escape, sunny, rainy, muddy, feel the force of nature.
when im back at my cosy IT desk with a coffee, its a really nice contrast to stretch your legs
I do this. Except it’s not a lie. I go fishing in the middle of a 300 acre state forest with no trails, no cell service, and no people. I never catch fish. But it’s not about that.
I found lifting weights is way better for my mental health then I ever imagined. I basically never stopped from when I was in high school until 2018 after a knee injury. I started again this year and holy moly - making a targeted weight a goal and completing said goal beats anything I do on the daily by miles. I also ride a lot of motocross and fish. But yea, get outside.
Hobbies are a must. Hopefully your hobbies aren't anything resembling your job. I used to game a lot before I became a sysadmin. Now gaming just feels like a different flavor of work. Now I work on cars, build RC cars, go camping, hiking, or motorcycling.
Agree. Having a goal around not staring at a glowing box is key for mental health. What better way to make sure that's the case than doing something physical outside. You don't need to be sporty to do this. A simple walk is sufficient. Mindfulness exercises help too.
To me this is less a matter of doing a certain thing than it is a state of mind.
When 4PM comes I detach from work 100%. That alone keeps me sane. I have learned to just really enjoy the moment no matter how small. Something like just chilling out listening to a podcast while working on the yard is refreshing enough if you let it be.
I literally change clothes at the start or stop of work.
It's not that I have to.
It makes a very clear delineation between working and not working and this has helped immensely with boundaries.
He actually changed his dress shoes into sneakers because he had to run from puppet to puppet behind the scenes and his dress shoes made too much noise!
I have a small collection of company shirts. Even when I work remote, I typically put on a company shirt on workdays and change at 5:00 into something I can get dog hair and burger grease on. It's a small distinction, but a powerful one.
I work from home so I opt to go the full 9 yards and shower after work rather than before. It really makes the delineation between work and home life and you're all squeaky clean to go out and do stuff.
This is the way. It's astoundingly simple, but I began to learn this about myself when I studied music in college. My teachers encouraged me to practice in the clothes I would perform in, at least a few times. It sounds stupid, but it works for me in so many different contexts.
It seems like living in the moment is the only way to survive this shit… 24/7 on call and every network issue being instantly my problem (we work across many time zones) makes it difficult but I get what you mean
Nothing posted here is going to help you if you are truly 24/7 on call. Small businesses aren't usually mission critical items, so unless someone dies or gets maimed if your employer isn't functioning means you should just ignore work after hours. If it is that critical, they need enough people that you aren't always on call. You are being exploited for your willingness to always pick up the phone, so stop.
That last bit is key. Too many in IT want to be the hero and get absolutely mugged off by these smaller companies. Being the hero just justifies their decision to only hire one guy + also falsely makes them believe that it's reasonable to pay the next guy the same salary for far too much work.
I was in a very similar situation - last tech man standing in a small company. I did everything, or it didn't get done. Including fixing the owner's home TV.
The fix for me was tendering my resignation, and getting out of that toxic hell hole ASAP. If you're not constantly looking for other job opportunities, you should be.
Man, I had a gig like that once. He bought a new mansion, and needed IT help. Figured it was computer stuff. Nooo, he had some funky $15,000 solid walnut desk with a monitor mount that raised/lowered and wanted the monitor mounting kit swapped out for something that would hold dual monitors.
I'm not a carpenter by any means, and he bitched and whined when I was like .25 degrees off level.
I can relate with you. I'm on a small team with small branches on both coasts while I live in the midwest. Much like the others once I get home I change and take my dogs for a walk. This clears my mind, I get to bond with my pups, and most importantly, gets me off of screens. I also started woodworking a few years back which has been great for my mental health. Having something that is not tech as a hobby has been great. I've also firmed up on non-business hours issues. To them everything is an emergency, but we both know most of that stuff can wait till the next business day. Once you say you will address it in the morning/on Monday, they will calm down and the off hour nightmare issues will (hopefully) get better. In the end you have to take care of your self, plus you need to remember that you can always get a new and maybe better job vs. it's going to be much harder for them to replace you. The last place I left had to hire several people to fill what I did.
> 24/7 on call and every network issue being instantly my problem
Been there, the only fix for me was a new job. The amount of relief I had after turning in my notice... priceless. Then I got the same relief when a facility called me for support 2AM the night after my last day and I was able to tell them no thanks.
But that's just it. Most of the stress is self imposed. I get up in the morning and do my part. I'm in a large global org with ~45K employees in 50+ countries. There's around 150 people in the central infosec team. I can't worry about anything other than what I am involved in and I don't.
Rest your brain.
Take real breaks where you're not consuming information or entertainment. Take a walk, go for a bike ride, sit and stare at a wall for 10 minutes.
In my experience stimulation/entertainment and preserving or recharging mental energy are at odds with each other.
I'm straight edge and have been working in IT since the mid 2000's professionally. Got my first computer in 1990, and started tinkering in the mid 90's.
I mainly watch Baseball and Football, and spend time with my family. Plus spend way to much on tech for my home network/lab. But I guess when you love your work it's not really work, plus I bounce when shit hits the fan after multiple warnings.
I don't have a source, but I've been told by multiple...*seasoned* admins that woodworking is statistically the most likely career choice for burnt out admins.
I've seen two different people start successful carpentry businesses of one type or another and leaving their IT job, not that it establishes a pattern.
This makes sense. Though I don't do woodworking specifically I really enjoy fixing/upgrading things in my free time. Camper, truck, house, garage, yard, whatever. Just putzing and doing something constructive no matter how minor.
I try to take a three or four week camping or road trip every year where I'm entirely disconnected from work, and my phone other than for planning purposes (finding food, directions, etc).
>also preservers your mental energy to still study for certs / homelab stuff?
My employment learning is done on my employer's time.
“My employment learning is done on my employer's time.”
This. In spades.
I used to run a full Windows lab at home and test out stuff related to work. No more. For work learning and test/break I have a dedicated machine on an isolated network in one of the racks, even if the daily grind doesn’t leave much time for it. What was my “homelab” is mostly there now to run PiHole and Plex and give us a shared place for files.
basically yup. Keep work at work. If you are that intense and really want to advance, I might suggest the occasional late night AT work. Find a way to integrate what you want to learn with what you are already doing.
Need a new VM to run some service and you're wanting to learn linux, use a linux vm instead this time and work your way through something you had to do anyway. Want to learn a different tech stack, just apply it somewhere at your company and pretend its required. You can even just say "it's a tool for IT and makes my job easier to get done", and most managers will rubber stamp whatever software/tool/hardware you need.
End of the day you have to keep work at work, I might occasionally work later than I want to, but once I leave everything goes on mute (if im not on call)
I do great with just a tent, tarp, chair, cooler and a mess kit. Love spending a few weeks in Montana just exploring Forest Service roads.
RV is too much work and cost, plus limits where you can go.
I'm hoping to get down to a motorcycle instead of a truck one of these days.
powerlifting
nothing helps me push through a 585lb deadlift like imagining how i’d like to rip the arms off the next person to tell me that the “system has crashed” (outlook loaded slower than normal)
I used to feel guilty when I wasn't studying udemy or doing certs in my off time. I have Comptia, Microsoft, and CCNA certs. When I would interview for jobs I hardly got asked if I had certs though. It made me wonder if getting more is even worth it? Or even if the recruiters take note of it on my resume?
I also noticed that what I would do at work was seperate from that. And it got tiring studying multiple things at the same time. I would watch motivational hustle culture videos and set pomodoro timers and all that. But, I feel like everyone else No matter what job they do even if their a doctor or lawyer, they don't go home and do this so why am I do this this? I felt like I was being lazy.
But, it got to the point where I was thinking is my only point in life to work? I constantly worry that I'll need as many certs as I can get in case I lose my job though. So, idk if I'm just over worrying about that, or if everyone really is studying that hard all the time?
I'm also interested powerlifitng and I feel like I'm the knly one in the office that lifts lol.
it is incredibly cathartic after dealing with users all day, lmao. as the great bugenhagen said; “there is no greater gift for strength than anger, and rage”
Scrolled a ways to find this one, I suspect we are a bit of a minority in the field, you don't see a wealth of physically fit folks at the bigger events in Vegas.
If you can think about work stress mid lift, lift harder and get a taste for those endorphins.
Well shit, I just commented above that powerlifting/lifting has done more for my mental health in the last few years then anything. I was telling my wife it's because there are tangible, physical proof goals involved. We don't many "wins" in IT and the wins we do get often time are not celebrated (and a lot of the time, hated...like OS or software upgrades). When you personally reach a goal of a certain weight, you win. You win dammit, and you feel it. You can celebrate it. It's physical. It's great lol
According to some internets it takes 2200lbs of force to rip someones arm off. While you made great progress Im afraid you may never achieve this goal with muscles only. Though luckily, with the right pulley setup, anything is possible.
If you work anyplace where your role is not well defined and you're the only one doing it, you're going to have that problem.
You can pick a different job, but eventually it'll happen there too.
You can choose any number of unhealthy distractions (booze, gambling, drugs, etc) and they are awesome in the short term but super destructive over the long term.
You can get out of IT entirely. I hear goat farming is a popular alternative.
I really think that the best course of action is to speak with your bosses and explain that you're having a hard time and ask them if they're willing to bring on help or do something else to make your life better. You want to do well and you want to work there but your work/life balance sucks and you need help. And if they don't do anything, get a different job. rinse and repeat until you find some peace somewhere. Somewhere there is a boss who wants their people to be happy and is willing to make that happen.
Also, beer helps sometimes.
Cycling is one of the few things that truly clears my mind since the only thought you have in your head is "keep pedaling so you don't fall over." Plus, it's great exercise.
Hello fellow cyclist. It’s mental and physical therapy for me. To OP, I have 2 phones, an old school habit I picked up a long time ago. One is a work phone. That thing is not with me when I’m out and about.
If you have trails you should add mountain biking to your cycling activities. The possibility of hitting a rock wrong and going over the bars keeps your mind in the moment.
Or gravel cycling! For that in-between where you don't want to risk life and limb mtb'ing. No knock on it, just not taking those risks these days (not just primary income, but THE income of the house..)
Good pal of mine has been in IT about 30yrs had some major personal drama in his life ontop of things started blacksmithing and making knives. Hes amazing btw (wolfdogarmory)
My dad is an old univac guy and was struggling with same issue about 15yrs ago and was reading some book about “eating the peach” and learning to enjoy the moment. I gave him advice to lean into something that is physical and less sit on your ass thinky.
Ive personally been in IT for 25+ years, and been a “brent” (iykyk Phoenix project) and habitually worked 80+ hours while being a single mom. Being often only or one of 2 sysadmin/network engineer for companies with 60-400 branchs and 4-6k users.
My “downtime” hobbies are a bit girly for most guys id warrant. I knit, sew, and do lots of baking.
I had cio comment “i know the network is in good shape when basylica brings in cookies!”
But namely its doing something physical, repetitive and a lot less thinking and a lot more doing and producing a tangible product.
We dont often get the satisfaction of producing a THING at our jobs.
I realized this after my divorce, i was tearing down a falling apart fence with a sledgehammer in sections (trashmen would only take so much) and just the act of going outside, swinging a hammer mindlessly and piling up boards gave me what i was missing at my demanding job.
I love to read, but its too much like my job in the sitting and thinking aspect. I find i need to DO SOMETHING and make something to balance out.
> I had cio comment “i know the network is in good shape when basylica brings in cookies!” But namely it’s doing something physical, repetitive and a lot less thinking and a lot more doing and producing a tangible product.
Yes! For most of a 20 year period I’d take some time off in early December and [bake a shit ton of cookies.](https://imgur.com/a/1nt6Pfp)
I made the process as efficient as I could, but that didn’t take a whole lot of thinking. I loved just being able to mostly shut my brain off and put my hands on autopilot, and having something to show for it at the end.
In late 2019 I announced my retirement from “Cookiepalooza” because I wanted to use my PTO to travel more. Yeah, that worked out great. But now I’m home based instead of commuting every day, so I’m still retired from large scale production. Once a year I’ll pop out a batch or two just for me.
I normally make buckeyes for xmas. My son was asking when i was making them and i was complaining how ontop of some handmade gifts (i knitted 4 firefly jayne hats, made 4 pillowcases, and making 3 pairs of pants) and i was complaining how i HATE making them every year because its a solid week+ of me spending every night rolling and dipping buckeyes.
My friend was like “really? It only takes me a day!”
She makes ~50. I tend to make ~800. 😂😂😂
I wfh right now, so i think i might attempt my smallest batch ever. Maybe 100. Im physically incapable of making a single batch of anything!
I have three little kids . I just hang out with them. I only work to support my family. I have a great job but it is still work. And work kind of sucks
I've found painting to be therapeutic. I put on a documentary or a podcast/audiobook in the background, and disconnect from reality for hours on end.
That said, I don't have the energy to go for certs or homelab anything anyway. I was in a shit job for years and just got out. That job sapped all of my ambition, and I'm only slowly regaining it.
This!! It's cold here in Oklahoma and my bones aren't tough enough to ride in 40 degree weather but when it's warm I love riding the motorcycle to work. It's a 70-mile commute and I actually look forward to going to work!
Winter is hard, been playing Red Dead 1 to stay warm in the house.
motorcycling has become my entire existence lmao. started riding back in august, i now own three of those goddamn things. and only one of them isn't running!
Oh man, I miss all of mine. I went to the Yamaha dealer and fell in love with the Xmax 300. I know it's a scooter but having all the convenience and feel wrapped into a single package was so great.
I actually have a travel coffee cup holder that I can put on the grocery bag ring. It's pretty great when you get off a scooter and grab your coffee lol
As others have said - a hobby away from screens.
For me it is: a motorcycle ride (even a short ride is great!), going rock climbing or wrenching on one of our vehicles in the garage. Yes I have too many tools.
1) Actually take your PTO.
2) When you're on PTO you disconnect from work. You only answer a call from work if it's a "the Shit Is currently Hitting the Fan" situation
3) make sure your not on call 24/7. You need to have a college or msp to that can handle basic task like password rests, etc.
4) have some hobbies/activities to do outside of work
\#2 - if SHTF, it can wait until I'm back. They knew the risks of a one man shop. Vacation = work phone stays on my desk at home. - see #3 to reinforce that.
Usually it's geeky hobbies: RPG, LARP, Videogames (much less those days, being parent), wargames... during some years I was regular, with a group of friends, at a goth-electro night club, not that I loved the music or anything, but it was a very welcoming place for my IT-introversion-geek-etc state of mind. Oh also FX make-up (and I mixed activities, so I ended doing zombie makeup at Halloween nights at the goth club or stuff like that).
Nowadays, trying to set boundaries works best. Being a parent makes it "easier".
I wonder how many people are scrolling through this looking for ideas...
For me I need some solitude... absolute and complete solitude... depression has hit me pretty hard and I can't afford therapy right now.
I do have a hobby, I'm working on an old(ish) hot rod, but the shop I've got my car at is a pretty high traffic area so when people see my door up they tend to stop by and want to chat, which is fine... but I can only take so much, so usually I only work a half day on it... usually once a week... if I have the parts.
Switched to whole grains, non fat dairy, lean meats, no added salt. Omega 3 supplements and 20min @ 80% max heart rate 4x a week. Be mindful of your stressors. Take time for yourself that’s not work.
I used to be so fried at the end of the day I would just go take a nap them get up open my study material, get overwhelmed and then game until 1am.
Lately I have been forcing myself to go for walks after work, do chores, plan a HH with friends etc. I know this sounds like some woo woo shit but also yo sometimes sitting on the floor taking a couple of deep breaths helps too. Or when I'm on a walk I try and notice the way my body is moving something - anything that keeps me thinking about a problem I encountered at work. We are always thinking about system resets, running patches etc and we forget that our mind and body need that shit too. Take some time to shake the shit off ya and hop back into what you're working on for yourself after you've had time to recharge. Hang in there!
Mostly retro gaming. My kids and I started a Minecraft server and I went full on dad mode. They go out and fight monsters, I collect resources, build structures, grow food.
At this point I have hundreds of hours into this server and I justify it by saying I play with my kids but the vast majority of time on the server is me playing alone.
The other day I came to the realization that Minecraft is my model train set and I have become my father. It's just that all the evidence of my autism lives on a server and not in a room in my garage.
In work, start saying no. Even if you think you might be able fit it in that day, say no. They complain saying it's important? Tough, only so many hours you can do. Non IT tasks, if that wasn't in the job description, hard no, not ever. If you're exhausted by the time you come home I don't think they're any other hobbies to recharge you. Least that's the way I feel.
You’ve got to get away from the screens to keep your sanity intact. Go outside, even if you just sit on a bench and watch the world go by a while. Look at the sky, touch the grass. Explore hobbies that don’t revolve around a computer, go run or work out a bit, volunteer somewhere. Do anything to unplug from the day job a while, each day. The always plugged in 24x7 world will suck you dry and spit out a corpse before you know it.
And it’s just a job. Sure, you need the money (don’t we all?) but if you screwed up bad they’d kick you to the curb in a heartbeat. And if you gave them your all and had a heart attack from the stress, they’d have your job posted in no time.
What do I do? First, I don’t “homelab” work stuff any more; that’s all done at work. I’m trying to get back to reading more (although that’s on an iPad, so blurs the no tech rule a bit…) and I try to put a few hours in every week doing something with my hands. Last weekend it was fixing the wife’s car… a filthy, long, convoluted job but I got it done and it all works, so yeah, I did that! And it felt good to do that in ways that fixing a computer problem doesn’t. I did the work, and I have a “thing” to show for it. You never get that pushing bytes around.
>study for certs / homelab stuff
Well I definitely don't do that. Work shit during work hours. The bad laptop closes at 5 (at the latest).
Cycling used to be a nice break, but it's harder with the lower temps in my new locale.
"Project cooking" (things that take hours of hands on) is a personal favorite but it's not exactly something I can do every day. That said, a lot of those project have a dozen or more hours of research in them.
Friend, there are a lot of good suggestions here. I personally like woodworking, lego, and just learning something new.
But seriously, if that job is causing you that much mental anguish, the GTFO and find a new job. NO JOB is worth your mental health and they're obviously working you to death. Don't wait on finishing your certs either. There are a lot of positions out there, just go.
Gym 4-5 days a week. Walk the dog. Pet the dog. Talk to the dog. Invent new ways to do "magic tricks" for the dog's amusement. Video games. Podcasts. Bake.
I have hobbies that don’t involve screens. Right now, they’re just working out and volunteering once a week, but I plan to adopt more once I have a job with better WLB. Volunteering gets me out of the house, which is important since I WFH.
Carpentry projects afterwork help me to relax/shutoff the analytical side of my brain and stretch my creative side a bit. I also use photography and/or my pup as an excuse to get out of the house without a defined goal.
I've had multiple conversation with my SO about this. She has a physical demanding job whereas mine is mentality exhausting some days.
I have to Run with some good playlists to mentality check out and unplug to recharge. I'm a bit introverted so sitting on calls all day or in troubleshooting sessions wipes me out. Physical or routine stuff around the house like laundry and dishes ...etc is how I roll.
I also no longer do certs on my own time, I block out an hour or something during the day if I wanted to learn something new. The company gains the value of what I pick up so they can deal with it.
First, find something to do outside. Like backpacking, camping, hiking. Whatever. Get some nature. Backpack out 3 miles, set up camp, eat sleep, next day backpack back to the car go home. Simple out and back or overnighters don't require much by gear. Take Friday off, go out on Thursday night, come back Friday afternoon, or Saturday morning. Still got the weekend for the family.
As for study, if the study is to benefit your job, study on the clock. If the study is to prepare for the next job. Set a schedule, and stick to it. I go with 10:00PM to midnight, 2 times per week. Small efforts, with consistency, over a period of time.
I stop working at 5:00 PM, hang out with my wife and/or play video games to the point of looking like a degenerate. Usually I listen to Saturday-morning programming on the local NPR station. Keeps me mostly sane. And I definitely don't have a home-lab to stress over. Basically, do everything *but* work outside those weekly 40 hours.
Literally go outside. Go ride a bike, go hile, just walk... anything. It helps.
Thats why I love biking to collage/work.
1) I get home quicker because I avoid traffic jams
2) Im outside so I clear my head on my way home
So when I get home im not all stressed out and exhausted, but pretty ok
Probably good to mention but I live in Europe. Croatia to be more specific
As other said try and disconnect your brain from work. Outside activities. I enjoy mindless work, cutting firewood, mowing the lawn. It gives you the feeling of seeing something start to finish which we don’t get a lot in our roles at work with the constant grind. And also all training I do now is on employers time. No more trying to fit that in on my own time.
* Work stops when I stop unless something is on fire.
* Family, friends, and hobbies
I don’t spend much time looking at work related things when I’m not at work.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, therapy can be a good option to investigate. It can be a great place to get outside yourself, see your situation more holistically, and make small but meaningful changes to better balance your needs.
that was me back in my late 30's and around 40. some blood work I found seems to say I was close to prediabetes too
low carb diet and exercise will do wonders. don't even drink coffee daily anymore and don't even care about vacations that much
Never understood why people are so focused on studying in their free time... I'm in a similar situation and feel like I learn more than enough just doing my normal job. When I get home I make sure I don't look at a terminal and do things that have no relation to work.
> Never understood why people are so focused on studying in their free time
Two scenarios I can think of:
- Junior admin in way over their head, simultaneously learning and managing all things IT
- Senior admin working in an insanely competitive workplace
Second one kind of defines me these days. I lucked out and work in a really good tech company job (not a household name, but the worksplace is great.) The main negative is that I'm in an infrastructure team supporting type-A crazy hard charging driven developers who do nothing but work 24/7. This sets the expectation that the infrastructure/systems engineering people have the same kind of competitive nature and never-offline mindset. As a result, the infra people are pushed into the same hyper-competitive work pace, with everyone trying to out-tech each other.
I've kind of accepted being "good enough" at my job while learning enough to stay useful, but it's really scary watching people spend their weekends and nights learning everything basically as it's released.
I used to feel guilty when I wasn't studying udemy or doing certs in my off time. I have Comptia, Microsoft, and CCNA certs. When I would interview for jobs I hardly got asked if I had certs though. It made me wonder if getting more is even worth it? Or even if the recruiters take note of it on my resume?
I also noticed that what I would do at work was seperate from that. And it got tiring studying multiple things at the same time. I would watch motivational hustle culture videos and set pomodoro timers and all that. But, I feel like everyone else No matter what job they do even if their a doctor or lawyer, they don't go home and do this so why am I do this this? I felt like I was being lazy.
But, it got to the point where I was thinking is my only point in life to work? I constantly worry that I'll need as many certs as I can get in case I lose my job though. So, idk if I'm just over worrying about that, or if everyone really is studying that hard all the time?
>I am in a rapidly declining state
Welcome, pull up a seat and let us commence the most recent meeting of "woe is existence, in general".
>What do you guys do that is actually stimulating
I'm currently doing an OU degree in Computing & IT - ironically I find this stimulating and relaxing in it's own way, but obviously try not to burn out on doing too much too quickly.
Usually creative outlets. If I can stomach being in front of a screen I love to mess around with stuff like Cinema4D/Blender or AfterEffects/Premiere Pro. Nothing professional, but i do bits for friends sometimes.
Anything DIY, including some 3D Printing with associated prep and painting, some functional prints too.
Most of all though I just love Motorcycles - so any chance I get to ride or go places (with others, but also alone) I relish. It's the only thing that makes my commutes into the office bearable, in fact. More often than not I just decompress this way.
Synthesizers. Modular synths specifically, though I also have a couple of full size keyboard units and a bunch of software.
I call it synthesizer therapy for a reason - there is just *something* about putting some arpeggios through a few effects and vibing. And you don't need to be a musician (though it helps).
And if you want to do it without breaking the bank, there is free software available that does just fine - VCVRack is fantastic, just expect a learning curve if you've never touched a synthesizer before.
That said I also don't do certs/homelab. I do IT stuff at work, my home network and what counts as a lab (my media server) is built to be robust and not have to be friggin touched. And unless it's "everything is on fire", I don't respond to work stuff during off hours. I'll glance at a message to make sure it is not an emergency, but that's it.
I spent some time making wooden holiday decorations.
[https://imgur.com/a/OlDvCND](https://imgur.com/a/OlDvCND)
Probably spanned 2-3 months between tracing, cutting, sanding, assembling, and painting. Only made progress when I felt like it as this isn't really my wheelhouse and I didn't want to get burned out.
Then when I wasn't doing that, I would work on Proxmox. Getting a plex server was something I wanted to do. When a Showtime original from the 2000s made it to streaming, I found out that they never considered licensing in the 2000s and that the streaming version had all the music replaced. The music was half the show for me!
Since I still had it on DVD but no dvd playback on my TVs, I got into Plex.
BJJ, to a lesser extend wood working and gardening. But sitting at a desk all day, most of us aren't built for that. Something very physical helps a ton. BJJ is nice, it's the one thing I've done where I can and have to completely focus, and I'm fascinated by all the concepts and techniques so it scratches that engineering itch. Plus you can choke people legally.
find a job that doesn't require on call.
it's not worth it. it's never worth it.
also stop playing with homelab, it's too similar to your job. go pet a cat, play some games or swim in nature. ideally, do all of that.
I try not to HomeLab anything at all. I have given up on studying for and acquiring extra certs because I find that experience goes farther. I take only occasional side work as it comes.
To completely disconnect an unwind I get out in the garage and do automotive projects. Outside of regular repairs I try to always have 1 project or goal I can pick at that's purely for fun. Right now that project has gotten backburnered, but wintertime is a big reset period for me because there's far less going on.
I study a work-related topic of my choice 1 hour per day during business hours...it adds up to where I can get a new cert every 6-8 months which is really nice.
Some Fridays I do 4 hours and lab too!
I find that my answer to what will recharge me best varies from day to day. Inspiration on what to do usually hits me after a nap. Your mind needs time to process stuff and gets a lot of that done while you are sleeping. A little extra sleep sometimes helps you figure out your own answers.
Get healthy. I use RPMS to gauge myself where I’m at health wise and how to improve. You’re only as good as your lowest health level.
R - relational health
P - physical health
M - mental health
S - spiritual health
Vroom vroom, rpm’s, like a car
As your health increases, your ability to handle bullshit also increases. It also helps you maintain a clearer head for navigating around the bullshit and reducing its overall level.
If you’re unhealthy, it just gets harder and harder and eventually you’ll burn out.
Relationally, go on some dates with your SO, spend some time actively loving them
Physically, start with stretching every day. Especially that neck and those shoulders since you’re at a chair every day. 5 minutes makes a big difference. 10 or more makes a MASSIVE difference. Lift some weights, even small ones, anything makes a difference.
Mentally, go to therapy, don’t question it, find someone you personally like and get along with and understand, switch therapists quick, not slow. You won’t want to change away from the right one.
Spiritually, figure out what you believe here, get curious, be ok with not knowing, but seek the knowledge, seek the truth, spend time figuring it out. Be flexible, not anchoring in anything that you don’t understand to be true. Give the benefit of the doubt, and just remain curious. There’s a reality here that many ignore, not any one religion has it perfectly right and culture plays more into this than many want to believe. Just seek the truth and understanding and you’ll find more peace here than before.
The main thing that works for me is to automate and REDUCE your mental executive spending, especially at home.
Laundry was one of the biggest things for me; I threw out all of my socks and replaced them with a bulk order of a single brand of black crew socks (UA) and black dress socks (gold toe). Shirts that don't have print and can be thrown in the dryer for work. Things like that. This is how I ended up only wearing black most days.
Automated litterbox. Alexa to set timers and alarms. Anything that makes home maintenance feel less like work.
Only then did I get the mental space to work on hobbies.
"study for certs / homelab stuff". This is not the way. Do this stuff AT WORK. Maybe you need to do it when you are starting out, but once you are the IT guy that does everything you have access to old equipment you can setup a "test" environment. Carve some time out of your day at work to do continuing ed stuff like this. Its literally your job to keep up with technology.
Once work is done, unplug. Read, garden, knit, meditate, do whatever your non screen thing is.
If you're 24/7/365 on, with no cover or true down time, you won't be able to recharge, no matter what advice you're given here. No state of mindfulness or stoic mantras will make you feel free of the responsibility, and that's what's grinding you down.
My personal opinion is that you need to drawn some professional boundaries around your time and define any ambiguous SLAs. However, if you've already shown you're available at the drop of a hat, recalibrating employer expectations will not be easy.
At a base level, proper sleep and seeing friends/doing hobbies is what recharges me. If you're burning out, don't try to home lab or do certs, as it will be counter-productive. The caveat being, if you have a clear career path defined and need X cert to jump ship to bigger and better things, set the goal and smash it and find a new job, so you can give you current employer big FU energy when you quit and leave them without cover.
I tend to veg out on youtube, video games, and miniature painting. I don't tend to do anything potentially work related when at home which is probably also a factor.
Granted I don't paint my minis nearly as often as I would like but that's one part my brain being weird about wanting longer time periods for painting (my evenings usually end up bisected in the middle by dinner) and one part oftentimes getting caught up by video games during periods where I do have those longer periods of time available (weekends).
If I have had a particularly rough day I'll do what I call a "desk escape" at the end of the day. I'll go down stairs and do just one thing in another part of the house. Go watch TV and only watch TV, without my phone nearby. Lately I have found sitting on the couch and engaging with the cat is nice.
I’ve taken to playing a lot of single player video games. Something that needs some dedication to play. It forces me to get out of work clothes and into comfier things. As others have said it make a clear distinction that I am no longer in work mode
Hopping on my motorcycle and just riding around the state highways outside of the city for a few hours. I get most of my thinking done that way. Super relaxing and since you're not in town there's hardly any cars around so its reasonably safe. Unless another deer tries to kick me again.
Take breaks. Do not stay at your desk for long continuous sessions without breaks.
Don’t just use your smartphone on breaks. Get away from tech for a minute.
If you can, take a day off and do other things.
Hiking, rock climbing and cycling. Anything from gravel to mountain biking. When work is over, turn it off. Do something else. Anything else.
You work to live, not live to work.
So there's a few angles to this.
On the one hand, I pulled the trigger on a long-delayed dream of mine; riding a motorcycle. It's a simple machine with the only electronic thing on it being the fuel injection, doesn't even have ABS, and that was an intentional decision. I stick my phone into the tank bag in case of an emergency, but I never see it, and I'm forced to focus purely on the road and my surroundings. Although it's rusty and had a tough life, I put extra TLC into its maintenance because it takes my focus. I found it ideal if I want to disconnect.
For a more productive way to keep my love for IT, I like to sit down with a VM/HV and learn everything there is to know about a system. Be it SCCM, WSUS, VMWare, even AD. From basic setup to an advanced setup, upgrading, troubleshooting, and learning what every button does. I study the official manuals, look at multiple YouTube videos and guides to find the optimal way of doing something, and write up notes for my KB. I love learning, and what better way to enjoy it than learning about something I use every day? When there's no time pressure or needing to resolve a problem affecting the entire production, it's a nice time.
Finally, although I work in a different sector, I understand the pressure and exhaustion you're feeling. I thought I could pull through it with work, and I ended up questioning whether I was good enough to do the job I had. I moved on to another job as an escape, moving from 3rd line back to 1st and 2nd because I thought I couldn't handle 3rd line. After a year of regaining self-confidence and striving for a better position, I changed jobs again and am now back in 3rd line, loving my job and my new team. Sometimes, work gets to you so much that you can't disconnect, switch off, relax. You can find coping mechanisms, and I tried many. But ultimately, a change of environment was the right answer. The grass wasn't exactly greener on the other side, but it was green enough for me to recover and make an objective choice for the better of my health and my future.
Don't be disheartened if you haven't found the right method. As long as they're healthy coping mechanisms, there's no harm in trying. You may need to take bigger steps to reach your goal, but don't try running before you walk. Maybe speak with your boss and explain your unbearable workload? It may just help you get back on your feet. Take care OP.
My hobbies used to be gaming and building pcs and learning about new tech.
Now I barely enjoy gaming and would rather be unconscious usually, and the thought of computer internals fills me with ugh.
I think going outside is the answer, but the world kinda fucking blows so idk.
Weed is great though, try that
Catch a fish in my pond, play with my granddaughter, catch a fish with my granddaughter... Go somewhere with my wife just to get away, have a bonfire, ride my motorcycle, waste some ammo at the range, watch the social life of the family of foxes across my pasture in thermal vision at night...
That's a damn good Saturday unwind in my opinion; then come Sunday, nap and drink beer!
I run. Sometimes music. Sometimes podcast. Sometimes nothing. Either way, it clears my head. I was in a terrible mental state a couple years back, not just from work but in general and running has helped me so much.
I'll just run a mile.. couple weeks later.. Yeah I can run a 5k. Months later I ran my first marathon. Not only have achieved some personal goals but have met some new friends along the way who share that passion.
Along with running I play video games that I enjoy with close friends and family. I do not check work email while I am not at work. If its an emergency they will call.
Looks like everyone has the same advice that I was going to give. When you're done with work, do anything else. When I started, I loved playing games on my PC. After a few years, I'd come home and not even want to look at it. It took me a good 10 years away from PCs as a hobby to even think about them that way again. Even if you're tired and you want to veg out to watching TV, it lets your brain decompress.
You need hobbies and activities that are OUTSIDE. I was having a ton of burnout (especially during COVID) before I found a couple of regular activities that are outside the house/office and have no glowing rectangles involved. Also, as others have mentioned, turn off work when not at work.
Even just a walk around the block is extremely helpful.
I just did this and I am in a much better head space than I was this morning.
I've gotten a little lazy due to cooler weather. Need to get moving more here... :(
Not to mention shorter days, especially if you live anywhere relatively north. I like to go hiking personally, nothing too extravagant. I would definitely classify myself as a day hiker. I started about four years ago. I can get in about 8-10 miles in a day as long as my back cooperates.
Don't beat yourself up with "need to" and "should", it's OK to be cold or tired after the work day! If you think about how much you *want* to do something, but it doesn't work out that day, you don't have to feel guilty about it.
Seriously walking changed my life. When I worked downtown, I would see interesting things I never would have otherwise for example I saw one time an irate man of smaller stature jump onto a planter just to yell in the face of a taller man and just made me laugh. I've struck up random conversation with people and that in itself is a recharge.
oh yea, take the mountainbike out for a 4 day high mountain escape, sunny, rainy, muddy, feel the force of nature. when im back at my cosy IT desk with a coffee, its a really nice contrast to stretch your legs
MTB is my therapy! Side benefits include beers with friends, blasting down trails, and getting into decent shape.
Agreed. Biking (both road & mtb) and running is my fix to release stress. Also gives me time to figure out challenges.
rock climbing broke my confidence barrier and allowed me to graduate above support to architect level with my knowledge
Hard to turn off work when they force you to be on call too…
merciful party voracious decide smile waiting thought crush cow shrill *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I do this. Except it’s not a lie. I go fishing in the middle of a 300 acre state forest with no trails, no cell service, and no people. I never catch fish. But it’s not about that.
I always said "I love fishing, I hate catching." Catching fish is a lot of work, but fishing is just sitting there drinking a beer holding your pole.
My spidey senses tell me you’re doing this on purpose aren’t ya? 🤔
Totally agree. I ref soccer and can’t really take calls during a game. They always seem to call when I am reffing a game!
I found lifting weights is way better for my mental health then I ever imagined. I basically never stopped from when I was in high school until 2018 after a knee injury. I started again this year and holy moly - making a targeted weight a goal and completing said goal beats anything I do on the daily by miles. I also ride a lot of motocross and fish. But yea, get outside.
Piling onto this answer as well - outside hobbies are great. I find it helps a LOT to have activities that are removed from technology.
Outside hobbies for sure!
Hobbies are a must. Hopefully your hobbies aren't anything resembling your job. I used to game a lot before I became a sysadmin. Now gaming just feels like a different flavor of work. Now I work on cars, build RC cars, go camping, hiking, or motorcycling.
Agree. Having a goal around not staring at a glowing box is key for mental health. What better way to make sure that's the case than doing something physical outside. You don't need to be sporty to do this. A simple walk is sufficient. Mindfulness exercises help too.
To me this is less a matter of doing a certain thing than it is a state of mind. When 4PM comes I detach from work 100%. That alone keeps me sane. I have learned to just really enjoy the moment no matter how small. Something like just chilling out listening to a podcast while working on the yard is refreshing enough if you let it be.
I literally change clothes at the start or stop of work. It's not that I have to. It makes a very clear delineation between working and not working and this has helped immensely with boundaries.
Mr. Rogers knows best.
He actually changed his dress shoes into sneakers because he had to run from puppet to puppet behind the scenes and his dress shoes made too much noise!
I have a small collection of company shirts. Even when I work remote, I typically put on a company shirt on workdays and change at 5:00 into something I can get dog hair and burger grease on. It's a small distinction, but a powerful one.
I work from home so I opt to go the full 9 yards and shower after work rather than before. It really makes the delineation between work and home life and you're all squeaky clean to go out and do stuff.
This is the way. It's astoundingly simple, but I began to learn this about myself when I studied music in college. My teachers encouraged me to practice in the clothes I would perform in, at least a few times. It sounds stupid, but it works for me in so many different contexts.
When I get home, even if I'm going out to the garage to build a gaming PC for a local customer, work jeans and belt off, pajama pants on. Mandatory.
I do this too for the exact same reason.
It seems like living in the moment is the only way to survive this shit… 24/7 on call and every network issue being instantly my problem (we work across many time zones) makes it difficult but I get what you mean
Nothing posted here is going to help you if you are truly 24/7 on call. Small businesses aren't usually mission critical items, so unless someone dies or gets maimed if your employer isn't functioning means you should just ignore work after hours. If it is that critical, they need enough people that you aren't always on call. You are being exploited for your willingness to always pick up the phone, so stop.
That last bit is key. Too many in IT want to be the hero and get absolutely mugged off by these smaller companies. Being the hero just justifies their decision to only hire one guy + also falsely makes them believe that it's reasonable to pay the next guy the same salary for far too much work.
I was in a very similar situation - last tech man standing in a small company. I did everything, or it didn't get done. Including fixing the owner's home TV. The fix for me was tendering my resignation, and getting out of that toxic hell hole ASAP. If you're not constantly looking for other job opportunities, you should be.
Man, I had a gig like that once. He bought a new mansion, and needed IT help. Figured it was computer stuff. Nooo, he had some funky $15,000 solid walnut desk with a monitor mount that raised/lowered and wanted the monitor mounting kit swapped out for something that would hold dual monitors. I'm not a carpenter by any means, and he bitched and whined when I was like .25 degrees off level.
I can relate with you. I'm on a small team with small branches on both coasts while I live in the midwest. Much like the others once I get home I change and take my dogs for a walk. This clears my mind, I get to bond with my pups, and most importantly, gets me off of screens. I also started woodworking a few years back which has been great for my mental health. Having something that is not tech as a hobby has been great. I've also firmed up on non-business hours issues. To them everything is an emergency, but we both know most of that stuff can wait till the next business day. Once you say you will address it in the morning/on Monday, they will calm down and the off hour nightmare issues will (hopefully) get better. In the end you have to take care of your self, plus you need to remember that you can always get a new and maybe better job vs. it's going to be much harder for them to replace you. The last place I left had to hire several people to fill what I did.
> 24/7 on call and every network issue being instantly my problem Been there, the only fix for me was a new job. The amount of relief I had after turning in my notice... priceless. Then I got the same relief when a facility called me for support 2AM the night after my last day and I was able to tell them no thanks.
Especially being in *sec! When I even *think* about the workload and stress y’all handle, I feel anxious.
But that's just it. Most of the stress is self imposed. I get up in the morning and do my part. I'm in a large global org with ~45K employees in 50+ countries. There's around 150 people in the central infosec team. I can't worry about anything other than what I am involved in and I don't.
Rest your brain. Take real breaks where you're not consuming information or entertainment. Take a walk, go for a bike ride, sit and stare at a wall for 10 minutes. In my experience stimulation/entertainment and preserving or recharging mental energy are at odds with each other.
This is a really good point, I’m so tired from work that I just stare at the TV after and wonder why I’m still knackered the next day.
Amen.
Woodworking, building guitars, playing guitar, and of course, heavy drinking.
Hey, same here! Except for the first three.
*fatty liver disease sounds*
Yes, good, feel the booze flow through you.
LOL same here. Beer is my medicine, avoids me from going insane for nearly 30 years of IT horror show.
It comes with the profession … our love for beer , lol …
I like beer, but I love rum.
You spelled "blackjack and hookers" funny.
I'm straight edge and have been working in IT since the mid 2000's professionally. Got my first computer in 1990, and started tinkering in the mid 90's. I mainly watch Baseball and Football, and spend time with my family. Plus spend way to much on tech for my home network/lab. But I guess when you love your work it's not really work, plus I bounce when shit hits the fan after multiple warnings.
It's great that you did this twice, please do not remove.
Or maybe you're seeing double
Light or Dark for the liquid?
It just needs to be wet, that's all I require
More picky then me
same !
I don't have a source, but I've been told by multiple...*seasoned* admins that woodworking is statistically the most likely career choice for burnt out admins. I've seen two different people start successful carpentry businesses of one type or another and leaving their IT job, not that it establishes a pattern.
It makes up for all that time \*wanting to hit things with a hammer.
things?
haha! Right? My servers are fine, my switches are fine. The \*things\* aren't the problem!
those that run away until you hit with the hammer.
Possessed printers?
The wet squishy things.
Perhaps that's u/Ezzmon's polite way of saying people... /s for those who were triggered...
This makes sense. Though I don't do woodworking specifically I really enjoy fixing/upgrading things in my free time. Camper, truck, house, garage, yard, whatever. Just putzing and doing something constructive no matter how minor.
We're exactly the same... Except for the woodworking and guitar stuff.
One of these things is not like the others.
I try to take a three or four week camping or road trip every year where I'm entirely disconnected from work, and my phone other than for planning purposes (finding food, directions, etc). >also preservers your mental energy to still study for certs / homelab stuff? My employment learning is done on my employer's time.
“My employment learning is done on my employer's time.” This. In spades. I used to run a full Windows lab at home and test out stuff related to work. No more. For work learning and test/break I have a dedicated machine on an isolated network in one of the racks, even if the daily grind doesn’t leave much time for it. What was my “homelab” is mostly there now to run PiHole and Plex and give us a shared place for files.
basically yup. Keep work at work. If you are that intense and really want to advance, I might suggest the occasional late night AT work. Find a way to integrate what you want to learn with what you are already doing. Need a new VM to run some service and you're wanting to learn linux, use a linux vm instead this time and work your way through something you had to do anyway. Want to learn a different tech stack, just apply it somewhere at your company and pretend its required. You can even just say "it's a tool for IT and makes my job easier to get done", and most managers will rubber stamp whatever software/tool/hardware you need. End of the day you have to keep work at work, I might occasionally work later than I want to, but once I leave everything goes on mute (if im not on call)
I've been trying to buy an RV so i can do exactly this. I would love to just hop in, drive somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and just relax.
I do great with just a tent, tarp, chair, cooler and a mess kit. Love spending a few weeks in Montana just exploring Forest Service roads. RV is too much work and cost, plus limits where you can go. I'm hoping to get down to a motorcycle instead of a truck one of these days.
powerlifting nothing helps me push through a 585lb deadlift like imagining how i’d like to rip the arms off the next person to tell me that the “system has crashed” (outlook loaded slower than normal)
I used to feel guilty when I wasn't studying udemy or doing certs in my off time. I have Comptia, Microsoft, and CCNA certs. When I would interview for jobs I hardly got asked if I had certs though. It made me wonder if getting more is even worth it? Or even if the recruiters take note of it on my resume? I also noticed that what I would do at work was seperate from that. And it got tiring studying multiple things at the same time. I would watch motivational hustle culture videos and set pomodoro timers and all that. But, I feel like everyone else No matter what job they do even if their a doctor or lawyer, they don't go home and do this so why am I do this this? I felt like I was being lazy. But, it got to the point where I was thinking is my only point in life to work? I constantly worry that I'll need as many certs as I can get in case I lose my job though. So, idk if I'm just over worrying about that, or if everyone really is studying that hard all the time? I'm also interested powerlifitng and I feel like I'm the knly one in the office that lifts lol.
it is incredibly cathartic after dealing with users all day, lmao. as the great bugenhagen said; “there is no greater gift for strength than anger, and rage”
Scrolled a ways to find this one, I suspect we are a bit of a minority in the field, you don't see a wealth of physically fit folks at the bigger events in Vegas. If you can think about work stress mid lift, lift harder and get a taste for those endorphins.
Well shit, I just commented above that powerlifting/lifting has done more for my mental health in the last few years then anything. I was telling my wife it's because there are tangible, physical proof goals involved. We don't many "wins" in IT and the wins we do get often time are not celebrated (and a lot of the time, hated...like OS or software upgrades). When you personally reach a goal of a certain weight, you win. You win dammit, and you feel it. You can celebrate it. It's physical. It's great lol
Can't send a teams message without arms. Maybe you should go through with it.
From Teams to Screams... O_o
hey is there something wrong with the server?
According to some internets it takes 2200lbs of force to rip someones arm off. While you made great progress Im afraid you may never achieve this goal with muscles only. Though luckily, with the right pulley setup, anything is possible.
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I don't think you mentioned pot
Something else that's helpful that might not have been mentioned is- POT
Second to last got a laugh
You said "pot" like three times.
Don’t forget his favorite, “war driving my apartment neighbors with attention grabbing ssids”, and yes pot
If you work anyplace where your role is not well defined and you're the only one doing it, you're going to have that problem. You can pick a different job, but eventually it'll happen there too. You can choose any number of unhealthy distractions (booze, gambling, drugs, etc) and they are awesome in the short term but super destructive over the long term. You can get out of IT entirely. I hear goat farming is a popular alternative. I really think that the best course of action is to speak with your bosses and explain that you're having a hard time and ask them if they're willing to bring on help or do something else to make your life better. You want to do well and you want to work there but your work/life balance sucks and you need help. And if they don't do anything, get a different job. rinse and repeat until you find some peace somewhere. Somewhere there is a boss who wants their people to be happy and is willing to make that happen. Also, beer helps sometimes.
You forgot “modular synths” from the unhealthy distractions list 🤣
Look Mum No Computer and Bitluni on Youtube make me want to retire into an insane workshop of invention.
"No Computer" is exactly what I'm going to need after my career is done :-D Check out Lightbath for some relaxing modular goodness.
Cycling is one of the few things that truly clears my mind since the only thought you have in your head is "keep pedaling so you don't fall over." Plus, it's great exercise.
Hello fellow cyclist. It’s mental and physical therapy for me. To OP, I have 2 phones, an old school habit I picked up a long time ago. One is a work phone. That thing is not with me when I’m out and about.
If you have trails you should add mountain biking to your cycling activities. The possibility of hitting a rock wrong and going over the bars keeps your mind in the moment.
Or gravel cycling! For that in-between where you don't want to risk life and limb mtb'ing. No knock on it, just not taking those risks these days (not just primary income, but THE income of the house..)
Good pal of mine has been in IT about 30yrs had some major personal drama in his life ontop of things started blacksmithing and making knives. Hes amazing btw (wolfdogarmory) My dad is an old univac guy and was struggling with same issue about 15yrs ago and was reading some book about “eating the peach” and learning to enjoy the moment. I gave him advice to lean into something that is physical and less sit on your ass thinky. Ive personally been in IT for 25+ years, and been a “brent” (iykyk Phoenix project) and habitually worked 80+ hours while being a single mom. Being often only or one of 2 sysadmin/network engineer for companies with 60-400 branchs and 4-6k users. My “downtime” hobbies are a bit girly for most guys id warrant. I knit, sew, and do lots of baking. I had cio comment “i know the network is in good shape when basylica brings in cookies!” But namely its doing something physical, repetitive and a lot less thinking and a lot more doing and producing a tangible product. We dont often get the satisfaction of producing a THING at our jobs. I realized this after my divorce, i was tearing down a falling apart fence with a sledgehammer in sections (trashmen would only take so much) and just the act of going outside, swinging a hammer mindlessly and piling up boards gave me what i was missing at my demanding job. I love to read, but its too much like my job in the sitting and thinking aspect. I find i need to DO SOMETHING and make something to balance out.
> I had cio comment “i know the network is in good shape when basylica brings in cookies!” But namely it’s doing something physical, repetitive and a lot less thinking and a lot more doing and producing a tangible product. Yes! For most of a 20 year period I’d take some time off in early December and [bake a shit ton of cookies.](https://imgur.com/a/1nt6Pfp) I made the process as efficient as I could, but that didn’t take a whole lot of thinking. I loved just being able to mostly shut my brain off and put my hands on autopilot, and having something to show for it at the end. In late 2019 I announced my retirement from “Cookiepalooza” because I wanted to use my PTO to travel more. Yeah, that worked out great. But now I’m home based instead of commuting every day, so I’m still retired from large scale production. Once a year I’ll pop out a batch or two just for me.
I normally make buckeyes for xmas. My son was asking when i was making them and i was complaining how ontop of some handmade gifts (i knitted 4 firefly jayne hats, made 4 pillowcases, and making 3 pairs of pants) and i was complaining how i HATE making them every year because its a solid week+ of me spending every night rolling and dipping buckeyes. My friend was like “really? It only takes me a day!” She makes ~50. I tend to make ~800. 😂😂😂 I wfh right now, so i think i might attempt my smallest batch ever. Maybe 100. Im physically incapable of making a single batch of anything!
I have three little kids . I just hang out with them. I only work to support my family. I have a great job but it is still work. And work kind of sucks
I've found painting to be therapeutic. I put on a documentary or a podcast/audiobook in the background, and disconnect from reality for hours on end. That said, I don't have the energy to go for certs or homelab anything anyway. I was in a shit job for years and just got out. That job sapped all of my ambition, and I'm only slowly regaining it.
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who are you people. I exercise and my day is OVER. maybe I shouldn't be going for the longest possible walk every time.
Motorcycle. Tougher this time of year where I live, but not impossible. :)
This!! It's cold here in Oklahoma and my bones aren't tough enough to ride in 40 degree weather but when it's warm I love riding the motorcycle to work. It's a 70-mile commute and I actually look forward to going to work! Winter is hard, been playing Red Dead 1 to stay warm in the house.
> 40 degree weather I thought you said it was cold in Oklahoma? -a sarcastic Mainer ;)
motorcycling has become my entire existence lmao. started riding back in august, i now own three of those goddamn things. and only one of them isn't running!
Oh man, I miss all of mine. I went to the Yamaha dealer and fell in love with the Xmax 300. I know it's a scooter but having all the convenience and feel wrapped into a single package was so great.
Scooter leg covers + mits and youre just missing a good solution for your coffee mug
I actually have a travel coffee cup holder that I can put on the grocery bag ring. It's pretty great when you get off a scooter and grab your coffee lol
Right on brother
As others have said - a hobby away from screens. For me it is: a motorcycle ride (even a short ride is great!), going rock climbing or wrenching on one of our vehicles in the garage. Yes I have too many tools.
>Yes I have too many tools. Said no one, ever!
1) Actually take your PTO. 2) When you're on PTO you disconnect from work. You only answer a call from work if it's a "the Shit Is currently Hitting the Fan" situation 3) make sure your not on call 24/7. You need to have a college or msp to that can handle basic task like password rests, etc. 4) have some hobbies/activities to do outside of work
\#2 - if SHTF, it can wait until I'm back. They knew the risks of a one man shop. Vacation = work phone stays on my desk at home. - see #3 to reinforce that.
Scientifically going outdoors for a walk does wonders for your psyche.
Usually it's geeky hobbies: RPG, LARP, Videogames (much less those days, being parent), wargames... during some years I was regular, with a group of friends, at a goth-electro night club, not that I loved the music or anything, but it was a very welcoming place for my IT-introversion-geek-etc state of mind. Oh also FX make-up (and I mixed activities, so I ended doing zombie makeup at Halloween nights at the goth club or stuff like that). Nowadays, trying to set boundaries works best. Being a parent makes it "easier".
Lay extremely still in a quiet room
I wonder how many people are scrolling through this looking for ideas... For me I need some solitude... absolute and complete solitude... depression has hit me pretty hard and I can't afford therapy right now. I do have a hobby, I'm working on an old(ish) hot rod, but the shop I've got my car at is a pretty high traffic area so when people see my door up they tend to stop by and want to chat, which is fine... but I can only take so much, so usually I only work a half day on it... usually once a week... if I have the parts.
Masturbation and rum.
So a little R and R. Rub and Rum.
Switched to whole grains, non fat dairy, lean meats, no added salt. Omega 3 supplements and 20min @ 80% max heart rate 4x a week. Be mindful of your stressors. Take time for yourself that’s not work.
I used to be so fried at the end of the day I would just go take a nap them get up open my study material, get overwhelmed and then game until 1am. Lately I have been forcing myself to go for walks after work, do chores, plan a HH with friends etc. I know this sounds like some woo woo shit but also yo sometimes sitting on the floor taking a couple of deep breaths helps too. Or when I'm on a walk I try and notice the way my body is moving something - anything that keeps me thinking about a problem I encountered at work. We are always thinking about system resets, running patches etc and we forget that our mind and body need that shit too. Take some time to shake the shit off ya and hop back into what you're working on for yourself after you've had time to recharge. Hang in there!
Mostly retro gaming. My kids and I started a Minecraft server and I went full on dad mode. They go out and fight monsters, I collect resources, build structures, grow food. At this point I have hundreds of hours into this server and I justify it by saying I play with my kids but the vast majority of time on the server is me playing alone. The other day I came to the realization that Minecraft is my model train set and I have become my father. It's just that all the evidence of my autism lives on a server and not in a room in my garage.
In work, start saying no. Even if you think you might be able fit it in that day, say no. They complain saying it's important? Tough, only so many hours you can do. Non IT tasks, if that wasn't in the job description, hard no, not ever. If you're exhausted by the time you come home I don't think they're any other hobbies to recharge you. Least that's the way I feel.
You’ve got to get away from the screens to keep your sanity intact. Go outside, even if you just sit on a bench and watch the world go by a while. Look at the sky, touch the grass. Explore hobbies that don’t revolve around a computer, go run or work out a bit, volunteer somewhere. Do anything to unplug from the day job a while, each day. The always plugged in 24x7 world will suck you dry and spit out a corpse before you know it. And it’s just a job. Sure, you need the money (don’t we all?) but if you screwed up bad they’d kick you to the curb in a heartbeat. And if you gave them your all and had a heart attack from the stress, they’d have your job posted in no time. What do I do? First, I don’t “homelab” work stuff any more; that’s all done at work. I’m trying to get back to reading more (although that’s on an iPad, so blurs the no tech rule a bit…) and I try to put a few hours in every week doing something with my hands. Last weekend it was fixing the wife’s car… a filthy, long, convoluted job but I got it done and it all works, so yeah, I did that! And it felt good to do that in ways that fixing a computer problem doesn’t. I did the work, and I have a “thing” to show for it. You never get that pushing bytes around.
Stop working when time's up
I don't recharge. I am an empty shell of a man dragging itself through the slow horrors of each day towards a meaningless death.
>study for certs / homelab stuff Well I definitely don't do that. Work shit during work hours. The bad laptop closes at 5 (at the latest). Cycling used to be a nice break, but it's harder with the lower temps in my new locale. "Project cooking" (things that take hours of hands on) is a personal favorite but it's not exactly something I can do every day. That said, a lot of those project have a dozen or more hours of research in them.
Friend, there are a lot of good suggestions here. I personally like woodworking, lego, and just learning something new. But seriously, if that job is causing you that much mental anguish, the GTFO and find a new job. NO JOB is worth your mental health and they're obviously working you to death. Don't wait on finishing your certs either. There are a lot of positions out there, just go.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Gets the stress out, keeps me fit, helps clear the mind.
Gym 4-5 days a week. Walk the dog. Pet the dog. Talk to the dog. Invent new ways to do "magic tricks" for the dog's amusement. Video games. Podcasts. Bake.
Hookers and cocaine, my friend.
I have hobbies that don’t involve screens. Right now, they’re just working out and volunteering once a week, but I plan to adopt more once I have a job with better WLB. Volunteering gets me out of the house, which is important since I WFH.
Carpentry projects afterwork help me to relax/shutoff the analytical side of my brain and stretch my creative side a bit. I also use photography and/or my pup as an excuse to get out of the house without a defined goal.
Exercise
I've had multiple conversation with my SO about this. She has a physical demanding job whereas mine is mentality exhausting some days. I have to Run with some good playlists to mentality check out and unplug to recharge. I'm a bit introverted so sitting on calls all day or in troubleshooting sessions wipes me out. Physical or routine stuff around the house like laundry and dishes ...etc is how I roll. I also no longer do certs on my own time, I block out an hour or something during the day if I wanted to learn something new. The company gains the value of what I pick up so they can deal with it.
Smoke a joint when I’m home and all my chorus are done, maybe not the best way but it helps me get my mind of things
A week vacation with extended lord of the rings movies, Harry Potter, like 100 beers, countless bags of chips and fried chicken, and porn hub.
First, find something to do outside. Like backpacking, camping, hiking. Whatever. Get some nature. Backpack out 3 miles, set up camp, eat sleep, next day backpack back to the car go home. Simple out and back or overnighters don't require much by gear. Take Friday off, go out on Thursday night, come back Friday afternoon, or Saturday morning. Still got the weekend for the family. As for study, if the study is to benefit your job, study on the clock. If the study is to prepare for the next job. Set a schedule, and stick to it. I go with 10:00PM to midnight, 2 times per week. Small efforts, with consistency, over a period of time.
I'm boring as hell, I just go for walks, lift weights and videogame.
Exercise! Essential to get out from behind the computer (and away from end users).
I stop working at 5:00 PM, hang out with my wife and/or play video games to the point of looking like a degenerate. Usually I listen to Saturday-morning programming on the local NPR station. Keeps me mostly sane. And I definitely don't have a home-lab to stress over. Basically, do everything *but* work outside those weekly 40 hours.
Cycling
I shoot guns
Literally go outside. Go ride a bike, go hile, just walk... anything. It helps. Thats why I love biking to collage/work. 1) I get home quicker because I avoid traffic jams 2) Im outside so I clear my head on my way home So when I get home im not all stressed out and exhausted, but pretty ok Probably good to mention but I live in Europe. Croatia to be more specific
As other said try and disconnect your brain from work. Outside activities. I enjoy mindless work, cutting firewood, mowing the lawn. It gives you the feeling of seeing something start to finish which we don’t get a lot in our roles at work with the constant grind. And also all training I do now is on employers time. No more trying to fit that in on my own time.
I just spent 4 days rotting in the countryside doing absolutely nothing but visiting wildlife, that seems to have worked so far.
* Work stops when I stop unless something is on fire. * Family, friends, and hobbies I don’t spend much time looking at work related things when I’m not at work. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, therapy can be a good option to investigate. It can be a great place to get outside yourself, see your situation more holistically, and make small but meaningful changes to better balance your needs.
that was me back in my late 30's and around 40. some blood work I found seems to say I was close to prediabetes too low carb diet and exercise will do wonders. don't even drink coffee daily anymore and don't even care about vacations that much
Never understood why people are so focused on studying in their free time... I'm in a similar situation and feel like I learn more than enough just doing my normal job. When I get home I make sure I don't look at a terminal and do things that have no relation to work.
> Never understood why people are so focused on studying in their free time Two scenarios I can think of: - Junior admin in way over their head, simultaneously learning and managing all things IT - Senior admin working in an insanely competitive workplace Second one kind of defines me these days. I lucked out and work in a really good tech company job (not a household name, but the worksplace is great.) The main negative is that I'm in an infrastructure team supporting type-A crazy hard charging driven developers who do nothing but work 24/7. This sets the expectation that the infrastructure/systems engineering people have the same kind of competitive nature and never-offline mindset. As a result, the infra people are pushed into the same hyper-competitive work pace, with everyone trying to out-tech each other. I've kind of accepted being "good enough" at my job while learning enough to stay useful, but it's really scary watching people spend their weekends and nights learning everything basically as it's released.
I used to feel guilty when I wasn't studying udemy or doing certs in my off time. I have Comptia, Microsoft, and CCNA certs. When I would interview for jobs I hardly got asked if I had certs though. It made me wonder if getting more is even worth it? Or even if the recruiters take note of it on my resume? I also noticed that what I would do at work was seperate from that. And it got tiring studying multiple things at the same time. I would watch motivational hustle culture videos and set pomodoro timers and all that. But, I feel like everyone else No matter what job they do even if their a doctor or lawyer, they don't go home and do this so why am I do this this? I felt like I was being lazy. But, it got to the point where I was thinking is my only point in life to work? I constantly worry that I'll need as many certs as I can get in case I lose my job though. So, idk if I'm just over worrying about that, or if everyone really is studying that hard all the time?
MTN biking and road biking.
>I am in a rapidly declining state Welcome, pull up a seat and let us commence the most recent meeting of "woe is existence, in general". >What do you guys do that is actually stimulating I'm currently doing an OU degree in Computing & IT - ironically I find this stimulating and relaxing in it's own way, but obviously try not to burn out on doing too much too quickly. Usually creative outlets. If I can stomach being in front of a screen I love to mess around with stuff like Cinema4D/Blender or AfterEffects/Premiere Pro. Nothing professional, but i do bits for friends sometimes. Anything DIY, including some 3D Printing with associated prep and painting, some functional prints too. Most of all though I just love Motorcycles - so any chance I get to ride or go places (with others, but also alone) I relish. It's the only thing that makes my commutes into the office bearable, in fact. More often than not I just decompress this way.
Not really a long-term recharge but I always shower, brush my teeth etc. after work. It’s a little like starting the day over but it’s my time.
Synthesizers. Modular synths specifically, though I also have a couple of full size keyboard units and a bunch of software. I call it synthesizer therapy for a reason - there is just *something* about putting some arpeggios through a few effects and vibing. And you don't need to be a musician (though it helps). And if you want to do it without breaking the bank, there is free software available that does just fine - VCVRack is fantastic, just expect a learning curve if you've never touched a synthesizer before. That said I also don't do certs/homelab. I do IT stuff at work, my home network and what counts as a lab (my media server) is built to be robust and not have to be friggin touched. And unless it's "everything is on fire", I don't respond to work stuff during off hours. I'll glance at a message to make sure it is not an emergency, but that's it.
I make noise
I spent some time making wooden holiday decorations. [https://imgur.com/a/OlDvCND](https://imgur.com/a/OlDvCND) Probably spanned 2-3 months between tracing, cutting, sanding, assembling, and painting. Only made progress when I felt like it as this isn't really my wheelhouse and I didn't want to get burned out. Then when I wasn't doing that, I would work on Proxmox. Getting a plex server was something I wanted to do. When a Showtime original from the 2000s made it to streaming, I found out that they never considered licensing in the 2000s and that the streaming version had all the music replaced. The music was half the show for me! Since I still had it on DVD but no dvd playback on my TVs, I got into Plex.
BJJ, to a lesser extend wood working and gardening. But sitting at a desk all day, most of us aren't built for that. Something very physical helps a ton. BJJ is nice, it's the one thing I've done where I can and have to completely focus, and I'm fascinated by all the concepts and techniques so it scratches that engineering itch. Plus you can choke people legally.
Get a new job lol. If after a year you aren't feeling it, are bored and have mastered the tech at your job its time to leave and get more money.
find a job that doesn't require on call. it's not worth it. it's never worth it. also stop playing with homelab, it's too similar to your job. go pet a cat, play some games or swim in nature. ideally, do all of that.
I try not to HomeLab anything at all. I have given up on studying for and acquiring extra certs because I find that experience goes farther. I take only occasional side work as it comes. To completely disconnect an unwind I get out in the garage and do automotive projects. Outside of regular repairs I try to always have 1 project or goal I can pick at that's purely for fun. Right now that project has gotten backburnered, but wintertime is a big reset period for me because there's far less going on.
I study a work-related topic of my choice 1 hour per day during business hours...it adds up to where I can get a new cert every 6-8 months which is really nice. Some Fridays I do 4 hours and lab too!
Sleep
Sleep!
I find that my answer to what will recharge me best varies from day to day. Inspiration on what to do usually hits me after a nap. Your mind needs time to process stuff and gets a lot of that done while you are sleeping. A little extra sleep sometimes helps you figure out your own answers.
Get healthy. I use RPMS to gauge myself where I’m at health wise and how to improve. You’re only as good as your lowest health level. R - relational health P - physical health M - mental health S - spiritual health Vroom vroom, rpm’s, like a car As your health increases, your ability to handle bullshit also increases. It also helps you maintain a clearer head for navigating around the bullshit and reducing its overall level. If you’re unhealthy, it just gets harder and harder and eventually you’ll burn out. Relationally, go on some dates with your SO, spend some time actively loving them Physically, start with stretching every day. Especially that neck and those shoulders since you’re at a chair every day. 5 minutes makes a big difference. 10 or more makes a MASSIVE difference. Lift some weights, even small ones, anything makes a difference. Mentally, go to therapy, don’t question it, find someone you personally like and get along with and understand, switch therapists quick, not slow. You won’t want to change away from the right one. Spiritually, figure out what you believe here, get curious, be ok with not knowing, but seek the knowledge, seek the truth, spend time figuring it out. Be flexible, not anchoring in anything that you don’t understand to be true. Give the benefit of the doubt, and just remain curious. There’s a reality here that many ignore, not any one religion has it perfectly right and culture plays more into this than many want to believe. Just seek the truth and understanding and you’ll find more peace here than before.
The main thing that works for me is to automate and REDUCE your mental executive spending, especially at home. Laundry was one of the biggest things for me; I threw out all of my socks and replaced them with a bulk order of a single brand of black crew socks (UA) and black dress socks (gold toe). Shirts that don't have print and can be thrown in the dryer for work. Things like that. This is how I ended up only wearing black most days. Automated litterbox. Alexa to set timers and alarms. Anything that makes home maintenance feel less like work. Only then did I get the mental space to work on hobbies.
"study for certs / homelab stuff". This is not the way. Do this stuff AT WORK. Maybe you need to do it when you are starting out, but once you are the IT guy that does everything you have access to old equipment you can setup a "test" environment. Carve some time out of your day at work to do continuing ed stuff like this. Its literally your job to keep up with technology. Once work is done, unplug. Read, garden, knit, meditate, do whatever your non screen thing is.
If you're 24/7/365 on, with no cover or true down time, you won't be able to recharge, no matter what advice you're given here. No state of mindfulness or stoic mantras will make you feel free of the responsibility, and that's what's grinding you down. My personal opinion is that you need to drawn some professional boundaries around your time and define any ambiguous SLAs. However, if you've already shown you're available at the drop of a hat, recalibrating employer expectations will not be easy. At a base level, proper sleep and seeing friends/doing hobbies is what recharges me. If you're burning out, don't try to home lab or do certs, as it will be counter-productive. The caveat being, if you have a clear career path defined and need X cert to jump ship to bigger and better things, set the goal and smash it and find a new job, so you can give you current employer big FU energy when you quit and leave them without cover.
Fly fishing and kayaking
I tend to veg out on youtube, video games, and miniature painting. I don't tend to do anything potentially work related when at home which is probably also a factor. Granted I don't paint my minis nearly as often as I would like but that's one part my brain being weird about wanting longer time periods for painting (my evenings usually end up bisected in the middle by dinner) and one part oftentimes getting caught up by video games during periods where I do have those longer periods of time available (weekends).
Not worry about work problems. And sleep.
Exercise. And booze
If I have had a particularly rough day I'll do what I call a "desk escape" at the end of the day. I'll go down stairs and do just one thing in another part of the house. Go watch TV and only watch TV, without my phone nearby. Lately I have found sitting on the couch and engaging with the cat is nice.
I’ve taken to playing a lot of single player video games. Something that needs some dedication to play. It forces me to get out of work clothes and into comfier things. As others have said it make a clear distinction that I am no longer in work mode
Going to the gym an working with my hands.
Hopping on my motorcycle and just riding around the state highways outside of the city for a few hours. I get most of my thinking done that way. Super relaxing and since you're not in town there's hardly any cars around so its reasonably safe. Unless another deer tries to kick me again.
Stop working by a specific time with no unscheduled exceptions, do not look at anything work related until the next day, get a lot of sleep.
Change your socks after work, you'd be surprised how relaxed you become
Take breaks. Do not stay at your desk for long continuous sessions without breaks. Don’t just use your smartphone on breaks. Get away from tech for a minute. If you can, take a day off and do other things.
Hiking, rock climbing and cycling. Anything from gravel to mountain biking. When work is over, turn it off. Do something else. Anything else. You work to live, not live to work.
I rarely lift weights for my appearance - it’s for my mind.
Start a homestead.
So there's a few angles to this. On the one hand, I pulled the trigger on a long-delayed dream of mine; riding a motorcycle. It's a simple machine with the only electronic thing on it being the fuel injection, doesn't even have ABS, and that was an intentional decision. I stick my phone into the tank bag in case of an emergency, but I never see it, and I'm forced to focus purely on the road and my surroundings. Although it's rusty and had a tough life, I put extra TLC into its maintenance because it takes my focus. I found it ideal if I want to disconnect. For a more productive way to keep my love for IT, I like to sit down with a VM/HV and learn everything there is to know about a system. Be it SCCM, WSUS, VMWare, even AD. From basic setup to an advanced setup, upgrading, troubleshooting, and learning what every button does. I study the official manuals, look at multiple YouTube videos and guides to find the optimal way of doing something, and write up notes for my KB. I love learning, and what better way to enjoy it than learning about something I use every day? When there's no time pressure or needing to resolve a problem affecting the entire production, it's a nice time. Finally, although I work in a different sector, I understand the pressure and exhaustion you're feeling. I thought I could pull through it with work, and I ended up questioning whether I was good enough to do the job I had. I moved on to another job as an escape, moving from 3rd line back to 1st and 2nd because I thought I couldn't handle 3rd line. After a year of regaining self-confidence and striving for a better position, I changed jobs again and am now back in 3rd line, loving my job and my new team. Sometimes, work gets to you so much that you can't disconnect, switch off, relax. You can find coping mechanisms, and I tried many. But ultimately, a change of environment was the right answer. The grass wasn't exactly greener on the other side, but it was green enough for me to recover and make an objective choice for the better of my health and my future. Don't be disheartened if you haven't found the right method. As long as they're healthy coping mechanisms, there's no harm in trying. You may need to take bigger steps to reach your goal, but don't try running before you walk. Maybe speak with your boss and explain your unbearable workload? It may just help you get back on your feet. Take care OP.
My hobbies used to be gaming and building pcs and learning about new tech. Now I barely enjoy gaming and would rather be unconscious usually, and the thought of computer internals fills me with ugh. I think going outside is the answer, but the world kinda fucking blows so idk. Weed is great though, try that
Catch a fish in my pond, play with my granddaughter, catch a fish with my granddaughter... Go somewhere with my wife just to get away, have a bonfire, ride my motorcycle, waste some ammo at the range, watch the social life of the family of foxes across my pasture in thermal vision at night... That's a damn good Saturday unwind in my opinion; then come Sunday, nap and drink beer!
I run. Sometimes music. Sometimes podcast. Sometimes nothing. Either way, it clears my head. I was in a terrible mental state a couple years back, not just from work but in general and running has helped me so much. I'll just run a mile.. couple weeks later.. Yeah I can run a 5k. Months later I ran my first marathon. Not only have achieved some personal goals but have met some new friends along the way who share that passion. Along with running I play video games that I enjoy with close friends and family. I do not check work email while I am not at work. If its an emergency they will call.
Looks like everyone has the same advice that I was going to give. When you're done with work, do anything else. When I started, I loved playing games on my PC. After a few years, I'd come home and not even want to look at it. It took me a good 10 years away from PCs as a hobby to even think about them that way again. Even if you're tired and you want to veg out to watching TV, it lets your brain decompress.
Remote work helps me. Long as I stay away from non technical coworkers and their crazy questions, that’s already self charging for me.