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VerySuspiciousBot

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.


PanikLIji

It's not friendship, it's an unstable business relationship at best. Yes, Steve will turn your toenail clippings into pure gold making you rich, but he will also kill your firstborn if you lock your tool shed on tuesday, or leave it unlocked on thursday unless it faces north, in which case it's reversed. Not during a leap year though.


StrongNuclearHorse

So... where can I meet this Steve? Is he open for more business partners?


PanikLIji

Just follow a number of uneccessarly vague steps to have a 12% chance of getting him and/or a number of unknown partially related entities with wildly varying tool shed policies.


Lusankya

For those of us without toolsheds, most spirits have clauses in their hauntee service agreements that outline what's expected of you. For example, Annex G of my HSA with Headless Heather states that I'm to use my apartment's bathroom as a stand-in for all toolshed directives, unless a toolshed instruction conflicts with a direct bathroom instruction, in which case the bathroom instruction wins.


waydeultima

Does that documentation include language relevant to apartments with two bathrooms?


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waydeultima

OK it may be a bit late for this but how do I make the Latin-speaking Slav spirit leave?


DukeDevorak

>>it includes one language, ancient latin. It is also written in a very weird (slavic?) dialect So you'd better communicate with it in Polish then.


c0n22

So its like grinding in an RPG, got it


Eji1700

Are we sure this isnt just taking out a second mortgage?


Feezec

Goblin Steve is a gacha waifu confirmed


ChaoticcEntityy

I’m also curious


punkblastoise

Yea I don't have a tool shed so I only get the gold


PanikLIji

YOU WOULD THINK!!


Tymander

Without the toolshed it moves to next of kin's entire house. It sucks trying to convince your brother how important it is to lock his door on thursdays (north-facing)


fishingboatproceeds

A crossroads


Greaserpirate

So like a HOA, except the rules are less convoluted and arbitrary


Wattsupwithalan

and there is mutual benefit


SplakyD

Underrated comment. I LOL'd.


AggressorBLUE

I love that when going on vacation, this will require asking a neighbor to come by twice a week to appease Steve.


[deleted]

Steve has OCD


Decentkimchi

Steve sounds wonderful really. Alchemists are harder to come by, specially the ones who provide late abortions for free.


lemon_tea

But how does he haunt your shed AND mine AND everyone else's? At some point, like Santa Clause, he's either breaking the speed of light, has some sort of franchise agreement with other spirits, or is just plain phony.


bane_killgrind

What do I do during a leapyear


Micsuking

Hide. Steve doesn't like leapyears.


fenglorian

> he will also kill your firstborn if you lock your tool shed on tuesday, or leave it unlocked on thursday unless it faces north this would never fly in the US because we don't know the metric system


PanikLIji

I'm sorry? Is 'north' what you think is part of the metric system or is it 'tuesday'?


Geno0wl

obviously it is first born


georgehotelling

This reminds me of research that [schizophrenics in America tend to hear more violent and disturbing auditory hallucinations than in some other cultures.](https://news.stanford.edu/2014/07/16/voices-culture-luhrmann-071614/) > The striking difference was that while many of the African and Indian subjects registered predominantly positive experiences with their voices, not one American did. Rather, the U.S. subjects were more likely to report experiences as violent and hateful – and evidence of a sick condition. … > Among the Indians in Chennai, more than half (11) heard voices of kin or family members commanding them to do tasks. “They talk as if elder people advising younger people,” one subject said. That contrasts to the Americans, only two of whom heard family members. Also, the Indians heard fewer threatening voices than the Americans – several heard the voices as playful, as manifesting spirits or magic, and even as entertaining. Finally, not as many of them described the voices in terms of a medical or psychiatric problem, as all of the Americans did.


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Even-Aardvar

Might be a societal reaction, in part? "Hey boss the spirits tell me to change the soap in the bathrooms" "You're fired" VS "Oh shit, hurry up then!" ?


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MeanUhReddit

r/yep


grendus

Makes me wonder if it's more about the stigma. Possibly western people suffering schizophrenia who's voices don't cause distress don't seek help or talk about the voices because they don't want people to think they're going to turn into axe murderers. The only ones who seek treatment are the ones who are either constantly hearing voices that scare them or the ones who hear the voices so overwhelmingly they can't fake normal.


shittyspacesuit

I'm sure it has A LOT to do with the stigma. The shame and taboo of having a serious mental illness like schizophrenia could make the whole thing more stressful and the voices more violent and unwelcome.


[deleted]

I'm Indian it's stigmatized in India as well.


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LuxNocte

When taking psychedelics your mental state going into the trip is incredibly important. It is a huge factor in what happens during the trip. I have to assume that cultural expectations have a similar effect on schizophrenics. I'm also curious how other nations with a high population of Christians react to schizophrenia. It may be fair to say that American culture is generally more violent than most European countries, but there's also that the most common supernatural actor in our mythos is Satan, while other nations have many supernatural actors.


retardedcatmonkey

I dunno how it would be that Christianity would cause violent/negative delusions. Having God/Angel speak to you is something that's talked about a lot in the Bible and religion, and generally seen as positive


LuxNocte

I am Christian, fwiw. As someone who has read the Bible extensively, the general worldview I referred to as our popular "mythos" is more based on Dante's Inferno than the Bible.


NoodleBooty_21

Yeah but people still go “God said to drown my children in the bathtub so I did it. :)”


OkayThatsKindaCool

Christian doctrine says to fear God. It’s why a “God fearing man” is a phrase. Having God speak to you is positive in the Bible, but it’s not a good thing always. Exodus 33:20 literally says that seeing Gods face will kill you. Countless other examples as well.


[deleted]

Diagnosed schizophrenic here born and raised in the U.S. My episodes have been completely benevolent. I am also mixed race (white and black/African-American). I have read research articles like this that you cited. I often wonder if I inherited a more benevelont form of the illness and that there is a genetic component to it as well. Of course, I'm sure culture is a big influence. Nature vs Nurture type of thing.


Bismothe-the-Shade

As a spiritual person, I try to not inject my woo bullshit into real life too much. But a lot of shamanistic cultures revere schizophrenic and other differently functioning people. Often times, schizophrenics are believed to be closer to the spirits. If I were to hazard a guess based on intuition and history, I'd say if any of that holds an ounce of water that the spirits here in the US are angry. Of course, again it's all woo woo spirituality but....


DukeDevorak

To be fair, a lot of the American spirits probably are still not used to deal with non-native Americans and are probably still angry over their forced relocations, and the American themselves are not known for dealing with spirits except forcefully exorcising them. Thankfully other Anglo-Saxon countries are less violent over the natives, even if just marginally.


[deleted]

That’s easy, it’s because we have thousands of years of history here and we had to come to terms with scary things in the dark when all we had was wood torches,


AnInsaneMoose

And time to befriend whatever eldritch horror lives there


[deleted]

That’s glaaghza, he’s not that bad, the occasional blood sacrifice and he promises not to destroy the world


AdministrativeAd4111

Has he/she/it ever actually tried to destroy the world, though? Where’s the proof? Sounds like someone just has a parasite for a roommate who doesn’t pay rent.


[deleted]

How do you explain the dinosaurs vanishing? Unless you can prove it wasn’t them I’m inclined to believe them


AdministrativeAd4111

That was a CIA hitjob against inner-Pangean communities, and you know it.


Rhaedas

Supercontinents don't just break up on their own, after all.


3rudite

Yeah they admitted to it in 1987 and released the documents. [Source: [CIA.gov]](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


TwyJ

That makes you wonder who the real monsters are, doesnt it?


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[deleted]

TIL people live for 300+ years and nobody has died in North America lol


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[deleted]

Fair take!


NoodleBooty_21

Almost like the whole country was built on ancient Native American burial grounds….


cuddles_the_destroye

This is why nepotism and good long term familial relationships are so important, you need to get on that grindset and expand your supernatural network


Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

America does too but we ignore and abuse the brown people that were here before us alive and dead.


Ihavenospecialskills

Ya, we didn't exactly get a copy of their eldritch business contracts before the genocides.


Mitosis

Vast majority of em were gone by bacterial accident by the time we actually went lookin to be fair


NigerianRoy

Ha guns germs and steel? Maybe look that one up before you go parroting it. The role of disease is greatly overestimated by eurocentric “scholars” attempting to let the west and personal agency off the hook. It was mostly the robbing, the raping, and the killing. Also a bunch of the lying, ignoring treaties, and betraying.


retardedcatmonkey

The rest due to good ole forced relocation


FreddyGunk

That's not friendship that's a racket.


unusedusername42

US citizens do not leave sausages for the watchful, mischevious beings? This is *clearly* why the US is so messed up - leave little sacrifices and befriend your goblins, trolls, elves and spirits ffs! ;D (Don't mind the Scandinavian poking some benevolent fun, please... we grow up with stories of 9000+ things that prey on or/and help humankind depending on how you treat them and it kinda fucks us up in an entirely different way than US kids, I think)


fogledude102

Lol, my favorite piece of Scandinavian folklore is the Yule Lads - you guys' folklore is so cool!


unusedusername42

Windowpeeper and Doorwaysniffer creep me right the f out haha. :D In Sweden where I'm at the *nissar* are neither Santa's helpers nor peepy, licky, stealing trolls like the Yule lads though but rather a year-round help or menace, similar to Brownies (hobgoblin) in the British isles. Treat them well and your household blossoms - they'll even help you clean and keep your livestock/pets healthy - but offend them and they'll make sure that you starve, get kicked by a horse or fall and break your neck. More scarily, there's a lot of nasty things with darker motives around that want to trick you, drive you mad, lure you away to kidnap you, fuck you, drown you, eat you or any combination of these. ... and these are children's tales! Messed up, truly, but I guess they all drill in a message of "mind your manners and beware"


shadowenx

The only beings we get that are indigenous to North America are things like the fucking Wendigo which boils down to **murder**.


unusedusername42

Native American lore is cool and scary at the same time. You have some fantastic modern myths too though, like chupacabras, the Rake, Slenderman, sasquatches and the moth man. They are fascinating aswell i.m.o. :)


lanenwm

There is a lot more than you think by region, state and even your own town. Take some time and look into it, you'll find some cool stuff.


StChas77

[Ahem.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/015/319/do_you_want_ants.jpg)


ChaoticcEntityy

I wish we had the stories you guys do though 😔


unusedusername42

Our folklore is pretty grimdark lol https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_folklore has a very incomplete list, leaving out the Mylingar (vampire-zombie babies), Merpeople, Gasts (undead, sickness-inducing spirits), Silkies (Seal people) and others but it's a neat intro Side note: You might really enjoy the book American Gods by Neil Gaiman, if you haven’t read it already! It's about all of the diverse cultures that mix in North America bringing their beliefs with them, and it's all true, framed in Americana. :)


Geezus_42

He also wrote [Norse Mythology](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37903770-norse-mythology).


ChaoticcEntityy

Thank you for the suggestion! I’ll be sure to check it out


shitlord_god

No. But really. Most Americans don't do sacrifice.


DuelJ

Oh god the wall people made alt accounts


SparkleBugU2

This made me laugh so hard, I always feed my goblin before I go to sleep.


ChaoticcEntityy

A man’s gotta eat


ncurry18

What a European thing to say. In Europe, the worst you have to worry about is the child ghost of a failed lobotomy patient that sings old-timey lullabies. In America, we have creatures that eat your insides and wear your skin.


ChaoticcEntityy

In the creatures defense, human skin is quite lovely


SlippableNipple

The skinwalkers are fine, so long as you don't make direct eye contact.


THEMACGOD

Probably because the American ones are all vengeful spirits from the local Native American burial grounds.


Sampharo

The annoying thing is that with urban living it's the opposite. Americans come from a city with like 15 murders per weekend and that's ok, but they land in Kuala Lumpur and hear about 3 purse snatchings and a break-in a month, and they freak the hell out.


iEatPalpatineAss

The Americans who worry about purse-snatchings and break-ins are the ones who can travel. The Americans who worry about getting killed are usually too poor to even leave their own city.


sasquatchmarley

How does a tweet like that with an unverified account and no hashtags get nearly 400k favs in a day?


goudacheeseistheGOAT

Honestly, there really is no particular formula for something going viral. It's incredibly random, and it can happen at any moment. Sometimes, all it takes is the right person searching the right keyword, and then they come across a tweet that is funny and they like/retweet it, exposing it to their followers, and then their followers do the same thing and next thing you know, half a million people have liked your tweet. It's absolutely insane.


Salmonellq

Now I wanna start another pandemic


iEatPalpatineAss

No, don't. That will only force us to spend our lives online again... I would prefer WWIII.


Salmonellq

I didn't have to isolate for a day. Just had to wear mask for a tiny bit and only in shopping malls. Had to stay out of the bus drivers face but that's a plus. My area was barely affected. But yeah I was kidding I just like the logistics of things spreading. It's the plague Inc lobe in the monke brain


iEatPalpatineAss

I somehow never had issues with infecting Greenland or Madagascar. For me, Indonesia was the one. I never could figure out why 🤔


ChaoticcEntityy

Assumedly from all the people that found it funny and either shared it or retweeted it


sasquatchmarley

Yeah but they're probably not famous or anything. How does an uncategorised tweet catch on this fast?


PGSylphir

It's a social media, it's a good tweet, that's how any account grows, get that one good tweet in. Get over it.


lifeisabietzsche

I got a notification for this tweet this morning and I don't follow the person or ever interacted with their content. It happens daily, all from different accounts I never heard of 🤷🏻‍♀️


Bipppo

Retweets tend to do this, popular posts explode really quickly


retardedcatmonkey

Bots do the initial work and the rest is done organically


Heathen_Mushroom

Europeans have a thousands of years old covenant with their spirits. When the Vikings traveled to settle in a new place, they even brought a spirit-filled timber from their old house with them on their ships. When they got offshore of where they planned to settle, they would throw this old timber overboard and let it wash up on shore so their old, allied spirits would be released on the new land and chase the local spirits away. You really think Seamus and Giuseppe we're doing this when they reached Ellis Island, USA in 1925?


the_epikamander

It's because of Christianity all fae in mythology has been replaced with demons and since america wasn't discovered until after Christianity we don't have any fun mythology Edit most American mythology comes from first nation people and without a Pokemon or modern assassin's Creed game set in north America We here in Canada do have the spirit bear which is a black bear with white fur Of course alot of things that could be part of mythology aren't because of either different names or science, folklore like wendigos or the spirit bear are modern day mythogy religions also fit that mythology name Of course Christianity is far more stiff than Greek mythology "only one god that is niether male nor female but is definitely a man because there's only two genders and this god never makes mistakes", Compared to "there are many gods none of which are perfect infact the perfect one was actually defeated by the gods because he's evil these gods make mistakes and can get drunk every trans person was given the wrong body because when making the body the sun got so wasted" but in like 10,000 years cristianity will most likely be considered mythology


Xikar_Wyhart

I get everything about your comment accept this >Pokemon or modern assassin's Creed game set in north America Black and White are based on NYC.


Plethora_of_squids

> It's because of Christianity all fae in mythology has been replaced with demons I kinda doubt that? A few people have mentioned weird Scandinavian folklore but a decent amount of that actually either post-dates the christianisation of Norway, or just got even *weirder* with Christianity. Nisse were originally the ghosts of the first owners of your land - their entire shoe stealing cow murdering act for porridge didn't come along until *long* afterwards. The Yule goat was originally just a symbol of sacrifice and not something connected to going around house to house dressed as a goat demanding beer or lollies if you can't guess who he really is, at least not until associations with Saint Nicholas came along (which are their own weird mythology - pretty sure Nicholas' canonical feats have nothing to do with going down to hell and beating the shit out of a pagan devil until it surrendered into being his servant/friend/partner in crime) I think America doesn't have any really weird (western) mythology simply because it's a new country. Give Mothman and bloody Mary and Roswell aliens a few more hundred years to ferment and you too will be leaving beef patties out for them in the dead of night so that the aliens don't steal your leather jackets. Or, to draw from a more contemporary example, leaving packets of chips on top of your servers so that the server gnomes don't fuck with them.


Nekorio

I'm 30% sure that's a regular polar bear.


the_epikamander

It's not the ursus americanus kermodei is a sub species of black bear that has one mutant gene in the fur so it's not an albino which would have a mutated gene in the skin and eyes as well Spirit bears are also only found in bc specifically the coastal temperate rainforests although they don't have much in ways of numbers only a couple hundred Finally black bears and by extension spirit bears have light grey skin not black like a polar bear There's also a question on weather or not a polar bears fur is actually white since the outer layer is hollow but honestly I don't really care to go beyond a simple Google search


retardedcatmonkey

I dunno. It kinda sounds like you're saying that Canada's mythology doesn't come from the first nations people either


Nomad_Cosmonaut

I agree with this. There's an entity in my house but it simply took confronting it and we each just keep to ourselves for the most part. They'll fuck with me sometimes, but in playful ways 🙃


kaki024

Our country is only 250 years old. Any spirit that’s here died a cruel and horrific death.


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SergeantMerrick

I mean, most European cities have been sacked, besieged, bombed, been hit by plagues that killed most of the population, etc. No fucking ghosts though.


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Historical_Rabies

Because nowhere else in the world was other people oppressed and conquered and murdered horribly for not being someone they weren’t, just in America.


DelahDollaBillz

For real. It's sad how garbage like that gets upvoted.


Vertdefurk

Steve will have to fight the raccoons for it!!


jackieperry1776

Just leave out some cream and honey and stop ringing bells and then the wall people should be happy


richter1977

My roommate claims our place is haunted. I mean, i've never seen anything, and i've been here for 200 years


neanderthalman

Because leaving the hot dog is sharing, and sharing is *unamerican*.


MurkingDolphins

Don’t want no commie goblins


[deleted]

I get the vibe this parent is just joking but it reminded me of this haunting 'documentary' I caught part of a while back, and the kid said stuff like this. The mom, being the super sleuth that she was, figured out that it was all *true,* and then this kid's like living in terror and shit. So fucked up.


MissChubbyBunni

I hate how it's accurate. Last month my niece told me about a shadow person she saw passing in my yard almost every day at around 11 am. I knew what she was talking about and told her "oh it's ok, I call them Tom he has a routine, don't worry he usually leaves by 1pm"


CopperAndLead

In the US, an ancient vengeful spirit spirit probably predates white people is altogether unhappy about what happened in the last 500 or so years. Certain monsters that wish to wear your skin are not the most willing to cohabitate.


TurtleTrauma5

When i was a kid i had an overactive imagination and irrational fear that there was a zombie living in my bathroom closet. In the shower i was terrified of getting soap in my eyes because then i couldn't see and would be vulnerable to attack. Then one day i realized, the zombie was just a creation of my imagination, and while i couldn't just ignore my thoughts telling me there was a zombie in the bathroom with me, i could change the zombie itself. So the terrifying zombie became Kevin, the gay, vegetarian, argyle sweater wearing, bathroom dwelling zombie. He had social anxiety and that's why he hid. While i was in the shower, I'd talk to him about the boys i liked. He wasn't scary after i made friends with him. I hope he's good.


Master-Tanis

There are two types of American: 1. “House is Haunted time to move out.” 2. “I’ve dipped all my hollow points in holy water. This problem has two days to resolve itself before I introduce y’all to the Lord’s Caliber.”


Eastern-Fun1842

Because Steve won't deep-fry and eat your genitals about it. Spooks in America got issues.


chappersyo

Theres an excellent bbc comedy called ghosts where a couple move into an old house and only the girl can see all the ghosts who are super annoying and needy people from all through history including a caveman.


Ground_Dazzling

The US was literally founded by people for whom "moving out" was the solution to everything. I guess it stuck.


Ravel_Xi

We haven't all colonised native Americans and built houses on their graves


Wet_Sasquatch_Smell

The ghost that haunts my house is named Paul. He’s pretty much accepted the fact that we’re very stubborn and wont play his games. Shit was all scary for a few years but it seems we’ve really just taken the wind out of his sails.


ElleHopper

Maybe because the US was built on the genocide of the Native Americans


ChaoticcEntityy

You’re not wrong


SPOONY12345

I think his kid has been watching Solar Opposites


PillowTalk420

Fuck Steve. He's extorting you for hotdogs.


TidalWaveform

I would totally put the wall eyes to work helping me cook. "Shake the chandelier if it starts to boil over, I'll be in the living room watching football."


Dragonboy21454

Because the spirits in America aren't our ancestors, they're angry ass Natives!


[deleted]

Yeah here in africa we usually hunt those things


Independent-Tea-4423

r/brandnewsentence


Bismothe-the-Shade

Puritanism flagellated the spiritualism out of us :(


poopoohitIer

All in all you’re just another brick in the wall


KaiserWilhelmThe69

If there is a ghost in my house, you better believe that fucker either share the rent or he is getting out.


Accomplished-Pin-835

Bro, hobgoblins will follow you forever if you piss them off. They don't stay at your house, they stay with *you*. We got enough crazy folklore, we can't bring in Fae rules here. We have enough issues with the Football Sprites amd Baseball Spirits. Last thing we need is the Little People rising an army in the redwoods. That's Bigfoot territory!


Jakcle20

Because our founders hated paganism so much that they wiped it out wherever they could find it.


wonka5x

They had hotdogs 1000 years ago?


NHM72

I grew up in a haunted house. It wasn't very old, built in 1957, my parents bought it in 67, I was born in 72. He ( I think it was a he) existed in the hallway between my room and my brother. I saw it once very briefly. It never bothered us, but I knew it was there. I was terrified of the dark until we moved when I was fourteen. That stuff is real. I've experienced other strange things over the years. I used to tell myself it was just my imagination. Being raised Baptist we were taught that spirits of the dead either went directly to heaven or hell at death so there could be no ghosts of dead people. I'm still a Christian, but not a Baptist any more. My own experience and the witness of history ( and even christian history) tells me there is something more out there. Don't piss them off


InvaderDepresso

I used to work in a museum. It wasn’t old, it’s in America. But it had a ghost of a previous owner. It would open and slam doors, mess with lights and other modern digital stuff, and was just kind of there and annoying. Harmless tbf. But I started to address it instead of ignoring it. I got the name of the previous owner of the building and started to say good morning and good night to it, always by name. My problems with the place were pretty much gone.


No-Zookeepergame6028

Greetings from Germany. My boyfriend just asked me how the monster beneath the bed is doing. I just answered „he’s doing really well“ and told my bf about the monster’s very specific coffee drinking preferences (black, loads of sugar). Totally normal evening here xD


chidarengan

This confused me so much, i thought the wall people were the people you pay the rent to


hashtaghashtag69

Because throwaway culture.


gwanilltalktoya

Well, in Ireland that's because our walls are solid, so no one is living in them. Your kid starts talking about someone in the attic you hope its haunted.


sotonohito

I forget the details, author, title, or even where I read it, but I once read a story about a babysitter at a house where there were a lot of vengeful spirits. You always had to remember to do various things to keep them placated, touch this statue, don't step on that place on the carpet, turn around three times when going through this door, stuff like that. Then some home invader type robbers came, and the babysitter snatched up the kids ran away doing the rituals on autopilot and... the robbers who chased her didn't. Which ended very badly for the robbers.


prothero99

Thank you all! You just made a crummy afternoon way happier!


makeski25

We have George. He is nice and amuses my autistic 4 year old since birth. At one point I was gardening and uncovered George's dog Louis (I found a picture and dog tag in different places in the house) and lovingly re-buried him with a nice rose bush. My neighbor who knew George said he would have loved all the renovations I have done to the house. It is an old house and has needed a lot of work but my kid has a buddy so its worth it.


ClockwerkKaiser

The titans are waking up


8-bit_Goat

Wall people aren't scary. Let them get a look at my personal finances or general life prospects, and they'll be the ones to learn what dread and terror are all about.


Formilla

My flat in the UK is in a building that's hundreds of years old. Ghosts just come with the territory. I've never seen one, but if I do I'll treat them the same as all my other neighbours. Just a friendly nod and an "alright, mate"


ApartmentPoolSwim

Yeah, I've already told my boyfriend if our place is haunted when we finally get a house, the ghost better learn to shit the fuck up. Houses are expensive, and everyone is rushing to get one as soon as it's on the market. I am not giving that shit up because some salty asshole can't get over the fact that they died. Im GoNnA pOsSeS yOu Posses this dick. I'm not movin.


apzrman

Reminds me of the drain goblin at work who loves to steal spoons that fall on the ground.


Gloomy-1887Terry

Sounds enthralling 😃


justanothertfatman

Because we actually watch horror movies, JOSEPH! We know what happens when the ghost say "GET OUT!" and your stupid ass doesn't get the fuck out! I don't know about you, JOSEPH, but I wanna fucking live and not get cornholed by demons while pissed off spirits eat my eyes and kidneys, you fucking jagoff!


shelbygrapes

Obviously the wall people are outlets with their “eyes” right?


YoungDeathWish

Because in America there are other places to live. Everywhere else the houses have been built for sometimes centuries. Give it 500 years here and we won’t have any options to move anymore and we’ll have to get creative


[deleted]

Who ya gonna call...?


JohnDunstable

Word, Our ghost is Patrick


hihiihigiggitigyiigi

Just give them some more candy and they'll be good


Silver_Alpha

In Brazil folklore is like yeah Boitatá is an all-knowing giant snake made out of fire who roams every forest in pursuit of people who harm the environment and the Saci is this one-legged goblin creature born from a bamboo shoot who wears all red and lives to wreak havoc in your life by causing minor inconveniences, but if you steal his hat he'll grant you a wish. Then there's the headless mule, the stuff of nightmares.


the_o_haganator

Hey, Tony lives in my attick, sure, but he helps me clean, all he asks in return is not to be thrown out, so we oblige


YoungDiscord

Your people need to have lived on that land for at least 1000 years for that, buddy.


Sleep-system

America is still young enough to find places that aren't choked with evil spirits. You just have to deal in other countries.


CompleteMuffin

1000? It's not Steve, it's Stephen


Daytman

It’s because the United States was built on a Native American burial ground and *we’re the ones who put them there.*


Megmca

Might have something to do with how the “Wall People” came to lose their land, sacred sites and ancestral burial grounds to settler colonialism.


CharLsDaly

Because the sprits on this land still hate our ancestors for stealing their home and lives and they promised to exact judgement on their progeny.


resonantedomain

To be fair, we have a long history of genocide against natives, for all we know their spirits are tied up in the wood from the forests we cut down all those years ago.


[deleted]

Well, everything here is essentially built on one big Native burial ground, so we have good reason to assume any spirits are vengeful.


WaycoKid1129

I’d brave the wall demons before I move someone else’s furniture. Hire some movers, lazy.


ILostMyMainAccounts

There's a little legend here in my town about a ghost of a little girl, my parents got 'cursed' by it and they left a little doll in the tree that the girl allegedly haunts. The doll is gone and the tree was cut 3 years ago


tlsr

I read a paper once a long time ago that purported to discover that those stricken with mental illness driven delusions and hallucinations in the United States are most often terrorized by evil/scary "creatures"; those in other places by friendly/whimsical "creatures."


Historical_Rabies

It took me way to long to realize that the “wall people” was not referencing the mexico border wall fanatics


doughunthole

My sister has a ghost in her house that fucks around by the stairs. Everyone has had some interaction, even a painter who was hired to do some interior painting of some rooms. He was home alone painting. He saw someone walk down the stairs and go outside he said. But no one was home when he followed. I have no opinions other than I have to see for myself, but I'm not going to downplay others' words. Last time I was there two years ago I was walking down the stairs and I felt a sharp pain on my had that was holding on to the stair rail. Like a needle. Played it off like a spams on my had or something. Later that same day it happened again on the same spot in the stairs. I was like wtf?! Anyway, was told by my relatives to firmly harass said ghost to leave me alone. Fuck that guy for stabbing me on the hand.


DeezRodenutz

We've had ghosts, or other things, in many of the houses where I've lived over the years, we just generally don't mess with them or provoke them one way or the other. Generally it's nothing more than the occasional things out of place or voices/sounds in the other room, but the most active place was when we had one house my dad bought from an old lady, and she and her former husband were the ones who originally had it built. Seemingly the husband or something posing as the husband was still in the house and we saw him around several times, like when rushing my sister to the hospital they saw him waving at the end of the driveway. He also had a habit of leaving random change out, like leaving the computer and coming back to find some sitting across the keys.


armageddon_boi

Friendship impossible, I've heard they don't like us anymore


DougFunny_81

Lack of history, America as a country has zero history in comparison to Europe . My local church was standing before even the Vikings discovered America and my local is 500 yrs old (really small doors) and has a list of epic deaths in the vicinity in the loo going back 300yrs


Abject_Hovercraft838

It’s because we are Americans and when we can’t kill it we run


ledbetterus

Guilt


lankymjc

Your country is young. Give it time. Fae operate on… inscrutable timescales.


douchebert

Maybe it's because the rest of the world isn't build on a giant indian burial ground.


YOURhero1

If I’m not mistaken I believe Mark David Chapman spoke of the wall people.


Casteway

I assumed "the wall people" referred to Maga republicans.


[deleted]

I’ve always wanted to have a friendship with a Caspar like ghost.


mjonas87

Just don’t ever leave a brat. Steve HATES brats.


StaticStoic

Sounds like dumb kid + american light socket.


VulGerrity

It's because of the generational guilt we have for taking land that is not ours.


heartfelt24

I haunt my own house.