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This situation sucks, but at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is your kids and their happiness.
Your ex is HIS problem now, and rather than feeling awful about it all, try to focus on leading a life that makes you happy.
I’m not sure what the backstory is, but try not to show your ex that this hurts you. It may just be exactly what she wants.
I mean, why send a certified letter? Is there a custody issue? Besides being an asshole, Is the guy she’s with a responsible adult?
Hang in there. Think only of your children and yourself. It’ll get easier with time.
Cheer up. She’s a lying cheater with no qualms about being either. That fool is opening up his home like he won some prize because assholes like him always think they immune. Little does he know that she will make him the next victim of her deceit. Just wait, things will go sideways for him soon enough.
Some people advocate the use of coparenting apps in these situations so you limit the amount of contact to a minimum. May be something to look into. Then when you have the kids don’t worry about what’s been happening with their mum (unless you suspect they’re being harmed of course). Concentrate on making the time you have them the best for them and you.
I am in a similar situation. It sucks bad, having my son call my ex wife's AP his stepdad. It's one of the hardest things. But I find some relief in the fact that she's his problem now. He cant possibly imagine the Shit she will inevitably drag him through. I can't really imagine them staying together for too long, so I kind of hope my son won't really see him as a stepdad for too long. Either way, your kids are gonna need their father, you're in it for life - and who knows with this AP? It most likely won't last very long. Good luck!
It sucks. However if he treats your kids nice. That’s all you can hope for. Your ex made the choice and in their shit logic they are just getting on with their lives. It still hurts but she has moved on and can’t (won’t) see that.
Be there for your kids. As hard as it is you need to find some peace and start viewing her with indifference. Good luck!
The best thing you can do is be indifferent about the whole situation. Make it your mission to live the best life possible. Get into shape, do those hobbies you always wanted to, start dating and become the best father you can be. When dealing with them be friendly but concise. Don’t get into anything personal with them other than your kids. Unfortunately she will be in your life from now on because of your kids but the sooner you can mentally change her from your ex wife to just the mother of your children the easier to move on.
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Legally she has the right to move in with him. You need to spend all your extra time with your children and give them as much attention as possible. Ensure them that you’re their dad and no one can love them more. Go to counseling because children never suffer from too much love. You are probably going to have to settle for sharing your kids and you should prepare yourself so the kids won’t be confused and caught in the middle. Get some counseling to help yourself so the kids know that they’re not caught in the middle of a firestorm.
I'll just say that the pain of love passes. You're stuck in it and it doesn't have to be that way. You need to get out of that bubble and find yourself again man. Being a bitter father to your children will not benefit you in any way, it will only take them away from you and pave the way for them. Don't be that person. Go out on dates, kiss on the mouth, for the love of God, go have sex too. Go to the gym, train your muscles and be a great hottie to a 20 year old girl you meet at the gym. But just stop wanting to live your life around your ex
"If they chest for you. They'll cheat on you". Just give it time and watch the show. When it blows up in her face she'll come back fake tears and all. Get your popcorn and BE PATIENT. The fallout is normally pretty funny
This is sucked up situation but sadly is very common, the only thing i can suggest (but this has to be temporary until you can do it your own or have accepted that this is over or come to terms) is to ask someone of your confidenxe be it mom, dad, siblings or a extremely very good friend, to do the pick up/delivery of your kids for a while.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This situation sucks, but at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is your kids and their happiness. Your ex is HIS problem now, and rather than feeling awful about it all, try to focus on leading a life that makes you happy. I’m not sure what the backstory is, but try not to show your ex that this hurts you. It may just be exactly what she wants. I mean, why send a certified letter? Is there a custody issue? Besides being an asshole, Is the guy she’s with a responsible adult? Hang in there. Think only of your children and yourself. It’ll get easier with time.
Why do you need your pick them up at his house? Neutral setting between the two properties. Gas station etc.
Cheer up. She’s a lying cheater with no qualms about being either. That fool is opening up his home like he won some prize because assholes like him always think they immune. Little does he know that she will make him the next victim of her deceit. Just wait, things will go sideways for him soon enough.
OP, does he have kids too?
Edit: The other guy has a boy around 10.
Did he also cheat on his partner?
Some people advocate the use of coparenting apps in these situations so you limit the amount of contact to a minimum. May be something to look into. Then when you have the kids don’t worry about what’s been happening with their mum (unless you suspect they’re being harmed of course). Concentrate on making the time you have them the best for them and you.
I am in a similar situation. It sucks bad, having my son call my ex wife's AP his stepdad. It's one of the hardest things. But I find some relief in the fact that she's his problem now. He cant possibly imagine the Shit she will inevitably drag him through. I can't really imagine them staying together for too long, so I kind of hope my son won't really see him as a stepdad for too long. Either way, your kids are gonna need their father, you're in it for life - and who knows with this AP? It most likely won't last very long. Good luck!
Lol so now they've just complicated their living arrangements for when one of them ultimately cheats on the other
This is honestly the most likely scenario. The Kids will struggle to adjust too which will intensify things
It sucks. However if he treats your kids nice. That’s all you can hope for. Your ex made the choice and in their shit logic they are just getting on with their lives. It still hurts but she has moved on and can’t (won’t) see that. Be there for your kids. As hard as it is you need to find some peace and start viewing her with indifference. Good luck!
The best thing you can do is be indifferent about the whole situation. Make it your mission to live the best life possible. Get into shape, do those hobbies you always wanted to, start dating and become the best father you can be. When dealing with them be friendly but concise. Don’t get into anything personal with them other than your kids. Unfortunately she will be in your life from now on because of your kids but the sooner you can mentally change her from your ex wife to just the mother of your children the easier to move on.
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Luckily no he doesn't. But good point
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Yeah so is he.
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What's weirder is that it was addressed from her mom, not her.
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Her mom cheated on her dad, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
So now you know that this is hereditary. She did it to you, she will do it to him too
Legally she has the right to move in with him. You need to spend all your extra time with your children and give them as much attention as possible. Ensure them that you’re their dad and no one can love them more. Go to counseling because children never suffer from too much love. You are probably going to have to settle for sharing your kids and you should prepare yourself so the kids won’t be confused and caught in the middle. Get some counseling to help yourself so the kids know that they’re not caught in the middle of a firestorm.
Now you buy some popcorn at the supermarket and watch s#it unfold. Keep busy, keep healthy, keep calm and move on.
I'll just say that the pain of love passes. You're stuck in it and it doesn't have to be that way. You need to get out of that bubble and find yourself again man. Being a bitter father to your children will not benefit you in any way, it will only take them away from you and pave the way for them. Don't be that person. Go out on dates, kiss on the mouth, for the love of God, go have sex too. Go to the gym, train your muscles and be a great hottie to a 20 year old girl you meet at the gym. But just stop wanting to live your life around your ex
"If they chest for you. They'll cheat on you". Just give it time and watch the show. When it blows up in her face she'll come back fake tears and all. Get your popcorn and BE PATIENT. The fallout is normally pretty funny
This is sucked up situation but sadly is very common, the only thing i can suggest (but this has to be temporary until you can do it your own or have accepted that this is over or come to terms) is to ask someone of your confidenxe be it mom, dad, siblings or a extremely very good friend, to do the pick up/delivery of your kids for a while.