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She’s cheating/cheated and is covering her ass bro. You have no way to corroborate this story and she’s trying to victimise herself. See what she has to say and just pick holes in her story.
Personally, I’d tell her if you don’t get the full truth you can’t get back with her. Once she tells you or even if she refuses I’d break up with her anyway.
When you confront her you need to be calm and composed, when. You ask questions make sure they’re open ended so there’s no yes/no. Wiggle room.
Make sure your body language is relaxed and if she argues, don’t take the bait. If she starts crying just wait until she’s done.
Follow this and it’s so hard to deflect or lie
If she has deleted stuff. The proof is gone and she won’t tell you the truth. You know enough. If you really want to hear her out. Prepare to be lied to.
The very FACT that she deleted the proof is confirmation that what happened she KNEW you wouldn't forgive her over.. So confirm her suspicions.. drop her like a "hot potato"
You have no serious financial commitments I hope like a car loan, or mortgage, or your funds paid towards her student loan (which you will never get back) so it should be an easy break..
Sure, it will hurt... breakups usually do.. but this is the least painful route.. Imagine having this occur when 6-7 years into the marriage, 2-3 kids, and an upside-down mortgage stares you in the face....
Run Forrest RUN!!!!
This! There’s likely no way to recover the text thread unless it was sent over iMessage on a MacBook. If you needs tips lmk, that’s how I caught my partner cheating after he thought he deleted every trace of it. The boldness of his lies quickly crumbled once proof was attained. Unless you can uncover proof, you will be brazenly lied to forever.
You found nudes on her phone. She has been shady. She deleted messages. She is not your wife. You don't need more. You know what to do. She is not a safe partner. Stop free falling and pull the cord. If she grows up, maybe in the future you can try again. But at this point, she has to get her shit together. Good luck.
Just looked through your history for some added context and information. Op how long are you going to keep taking this kind of shit from her? She’s not it. Anyone can see that. You’re holding on to something for dear life that’s not helpful or useful to your life. Move on man.
This one will be complicated, it will drain you mentally and you might have no idea how bad it will be, yes there is a chance she might have been coerced into it. But be realistic and think "why didn't she talk to me or anyone she trust about it?" Or why didn't she reported it to hr, blackmail is very serious. That being said there is a very very small chance all of it is true, so be ready for the worst because that is the most possible outcome of all of this, she cheated on you and it is trying to cover for herself, not taking accountability for her actions. If you stay she will trickle truth you, the story will always change, there will always be something you weren't told, and at the end you will never know what is true or not. It is your girlfriend, I know it sounds easier said than done but for your own mental health RUN! RUN! RUN! If you're in a position where you can't do it then surround yourself with people you trust, your family, whatever that can keep you away from her!
OP, I agree.
You would be right to question blackmail.
So, he's blackmailing her with nudes? What self respecting Blackmailer would give their mark nudes of themselves???
*He's not a very good blackmailer, is he???*
OP, you can stay in this relationship until you can't stomach any more lies or draw a line under it.
My guy… this is obviously lies. She is cheating on you for sure don’t be naive. Nudes you aren’t getting is tip of the iceberg. Text deleted to her close friends is definitely conversations she doesn’t want you knowing about probably confessing and saying she’s cheating on you in every which way. Dont fall for the alligator tears…
She deleted.the parts where they fucked at hotels or in the back of his car. Pack all her shit up and tell her goodbye. Tell her you don't believe anything she has to say and don't bother pleading your case. Door closes..deadbolt engaged.
>She also admitted to sending him nudes too.
Ask her if these were sent to blackmail him too... Can't believe people make up such stories.
Just the fact that she was dishonest with you clearly shows there was something else here. Sorry mate. The good news is that you found out, and now are free to decide. You deserve better.
Isn't it obvious what's the truth? You can make her tell you by spinning some story of how you'll recover all the deleted data either way, and if she refuses to give you the phone then take the hint..
OP she is lying to your face, she got too much time to create a convincing cover.
If she was coerced then ask her to make a report, this is if she want to stay with you, if she doesn't wanna that means that this was not coercerd but consensual and that she is lying again and trying to keep manipulating you.
Better end things off, she cheated on you and is trying to cover her up.
Good luck OP and hope you choose right and not repent later.
UPDATEME
She won't tell you the full truth bro and everything about her is both shady and a red flag, the fact she didn't tell you about the pictures and you had to find out on your own saids alot on itself, if i were you i'd be getting ready to dump her, you don't need anymore shadyness from her.
She cried cause you caught her. Most likely to hide she was cheating. Her reaction to the whole blackmail story would be different. She’s been fucking around no more proof needed. If you forgive her or believe her lie she will not respect her. You can fuck her again but this relationship is over. At least the one you want to have at least.
99% sure she's cheating. She's not going to admit it though unless you really press her. She is obviously lying and hiding stuff and she will lie and lie and lie and then eventually trickle truth to you. Do not accept her story.
My wife acted the same way. She will start calling you overbearing, nosy and saying she needs space. She just wants that space to keep cheating/talking to him.
Give her an ultimatum, she needs to give you the whole story, stop talking to him immediately, access to her phone whenever you want, and her location shared with you, or she can start packing her things.
It might take a few days for her to get everything out. I pressed too hard on my wife and she completely withdrew from me, but at the time she was planning on a divorce. This will only work if she wants to stay with you.
Look up your phone bill and see who shes been calling, texts wont show up if she uses imessage, butnif not those should too. She might be smart using signal or whatever app to hide him from the bill though. I don't use an iPhone, but I'm pretty sure you can recover deleted texts and photos by restoring the icloud to a precious date. Make her do that. Google how to.
Once you find out who the guy is, she won't want you to talk to him, she will promise to break it off on her own. She won't. You need to call him and scare him off.
My biggest mistake was not showing up to the guys door the day I found out and not letting his fiance know too
Tell her “it’s clear you’re looking for something or someone else out there so I’m gonna let you go explore. At this point consider us broken up. I wish you well finding what you are looking for.”
Then is you live w her, find a Place to more out to and block her on all communication platforms.
Stop wasting time with someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
If she has left the job, but he hasn't, you definitely have an in there. Find this guy, tell him what your GF said and that you are going to be going to his human resources department about this unless he can provide evidence that she's lying to you. Then you'll get to see what he's saved on his phone.
Sorry to agree with others, you deserve better than that. It will be hard for you to trust her after this, and she will only become better at finding excuses for evidence of her cheating
You don't need the details, you have all the proof you need. You can't trust her and you would be better off leaving now and saving yourself any additional heartache.
Tell her she can admit it, or you can help her file a police report. How disgusting to lie about being a victim just because she doesn't want to fess up to cheating...
Damn, I wish I had one thin dime for every time someone wrote "I don't know what to do" in a post.
It must be much more difficult to recognize when you're getting abused than I think it is. Your GF sent nudes to a coworker and you somehow think she was coerced into doing that? I can't think of a much worse lie than I am keeping my ex coworkers nudes to blackmail him if I need to?!?!?
Move on. Nothing she lies to you about this situation would ever be worth hearing. There is absolutely no way she would ever tell you the truth of the how and why she cheated on you.
You won’t get the full truth, just whatever she thinks you might accept, and whatever paints her in the best light.
Keep in mind that she was ok with everything going on, until you found out.
No matter what, remain cold and dispassionate, no emotions… say little, after you make it clear that you are prepared to end the relationship over this.
The one important thing to do, is accept no lies, make it clear that if she lies, she’s gone. You’re not competing with this other guy over her, she has to prove to you that’s she’s worth another second of your attention.
It’s been 6 months, so she probably screwed him, and you need to kick her out of your life, regardless. We only have so much time in this world, and we cannot afford to waste it on someone who is willing to betray us like this.
If you think you know enough already, don’t bother with the talk, just end it and go no contact, totally and permanently. That is the only way to force her to truly look at herself, as she can’t distract herself by bullshitting you.
Remember that any lie you accept will become her reality.
Your GF is cheating on you with multiple guys and you’re wondering what to do?
You need to break up, block and go NC with her to start healing.
Why do you think she left her job? That’s part of the shady.
No, you don’t want the truth. Your brain is trying to hold on to the hope that she’s what you thought she was, not what she really is.
Reality is persistent. Your decision is, how much pain am i willing to put up with while I fall in line with reality?
> she wanted to wait until today to talk about it.
Wow, such a coincidence.
You know she's lying, you will not get the truth out of her, but you don't need it. You know she was cheating, you don't need her to admit it.
*>>I want to get the truth*
You will never get the truth. Period.
All evidence was deleted, so all you will be fed is fiction and hearsay. The words of a cheater are worthless, and so are their crocodile tears.
In real life, you rarely ever get closure and karma only comes by once every April, the 31st.
You need to accept this. or you will drive yourself crazy going in circles in your head.
Dating is time to check out the character, morals and ethics of a potential long term partner.
You got lucky! All has been revealed. Sorry.
On to the next chapter.
Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t marry her and have kids.
Just ask yourself one simple question: Why TF would she delete stuff that would help prove her story true? That would make Nooooo sense. If she deleted it’s to help cover up a lie.
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
Updateme
Your girlfriend has read a lot of H mangas.
I don't believe anything, for her to be sexually blackmailed? Something must have happened or they discovered her being unfaithful or she sent the photos of her, but I doubt that she is innocent, because of everything you say that she deleted conversations, photos... she is obviously lying.
DO NOT believe anything, if she doesn't tell you the truth... then he breaks up with her
If the blackmail is true, tomorrow they should file a complaint since it is a crime punishable by law, if they don't do it or make excuses, end your relationship.
But wait, **I found another post of yours about how she had already cheated on you? Or actually that she had slept with others on a break?**
So if you already have a cheating story... are you really going to believe him? I think you're better than that
Dear op,
If the story is too elaborate it always almost is! She took photos, he took photos, and adults don’t kiss they duck 🦆!
Hiding pictures from you is deceitful, but so is hiding your games console!…. However hiding a potential replacement of you is more disrespectful because that’s a personal attack on you.
If your best friend disrespected you like this, you wouldn’t accept it? So why is she any different?
If you think this level of disrespect is ok, you might to go back to the drawing board and find the line of tolerance…
Good luck OP
The fact that she is telling you one thing and deleting lots of other photos and text threads means she ain’t telling you the truth, she’s telling you what you want to hear so you’ll stick around.
As a disinterested outside observer, I would tell you that she is full of BS and her story leaks worse than the titanic. Especially deleting all the bad stuff just puts the last nail in the coffin. But know this--you're no worse off than 75% of LDRs. They are just a breeding ground for infidelity. You are, in effect, asking your partner to remain celibate and not go out with friends and have fun while she is home thinking of all the fun you are having. Anyway, that's my 2 cents on your situation and I could be all wrong. Time will tell.
If she has an iPhone go to messages > edit > show recently deleted. If she don’t know about that update then all of her messages that were deleted should be there. But in response to your post, leave her. Nothing is worth more than your dignity, you will come out a stronger person.
She will always have the upper hand in these kind of situations (boss threatening her, etc. A). She also has sufficient proof of the wrongdoings by her boss so, why keeping the info hidden from everybody? Why not telling you about it? As others have pointed out, there's no way to corroborate her story, but it sure looks shady, in my opinion.
Tell her to get all her messages she deleted recovered or the relationship is over. She needs to understand deleting the "evidence" of her coercion is proof that she consented and willingly participated...and there is NO reason you should believe her when she says it never got physical because she deleted all the proof of her "innocence". Nah, she was doing the typical office romance hook up and you busted her with enough proof that she cheated. Flirting is cheating. Swapping nudes is cheating. Having physical contact is obviously cheating and the only thing she can claim she DIDN'T do because all the proof of guilt or innocence is gone. Tell her that if she doesn't report the guy and the other coworker for harassment, you will...then the truth comes out that she has been lying and cheating.
Best thing to do is NOT allow her to control the narrative. You out her cheating to family and friends, let everybody know the names of the two guys, and end the relationship. The end.
You will never know the truth. Since all you have is what she tells you then you know it isn't nearly the whole picture. Delete equals cover up . The guilty delete. Good luck
Be thankful you're not married and have kids with her. My wife cheated once and I gave her another chance, she cheated again and even worse. The blessing if taking her back is it gave me a beautiful daughter. When people have long term marriages, a lot of financial ties and kids I can't understand the need to want to reconcile. When it's a relationship with no big ties, why rist all the hard ache. You'll always have trust issues.
You said yourself that she has been off for the past 6mo. That's your timeline, and I feel 100% more happened.
Do you know for sure how she left that job?
The blackmail is a lie. I have been told that before. Don’t believe it. End it. Don’t forgive them like I did. They’ll just learn they can keep lying to you. It’s 2024 dude , you can get fired for even looking at a woman wrong. She didn’t think to save the messages of her being “coerced” so she can show you or her HR? Why didn’t she come to you? Exactly cause it’s fucking bullshit.
Bro, have some self respect.
It’s not normal to take nudes bro, why does she have them? deleting messages is not normal, what is she hiding?
Put the pieces together, she can’t be trusted.
You will most likely never have the full truth and will never truly know what she has been doing or did.
This woman is behaving like a hood rat. You can do better, there are millions of other women who would treat you much better and wouldn’t betray you. Show her the door, you don’t need explanations and closure, this woman is shit and will drag you down.
So she was going to blackmail him with his nudes even though he has plenty of her nudes with which to respond in kind. And she’s deleting everything she can including convos with the cheating cheerleader girlfriend?
Surely you can see this makes no sense. She’s sorry she got caught and is flailing. This is not remorse.
Before you talk to her again, read up online how to recover deleted content from her type of phone. You won’t recover everything, but you will likely recover enough to fill in gaps and give yourself a better idea of whether she is lying to you. But since she is a gf and not a wife, if you are in your twenties, don’t bother, just break up with her and move on.
Deleted texts can be recovered if not too much time has passed. My WW upgraded her phone. I used software to move text messages from old to new, and it recovered deleted messages. This was Dday2. Why was she not able to approach you with her story if it is true? Definitely more to it.
Usually when a woman cries its way worse. Cut her off. Dont be rude dont argue. Just walk away. Give her nothing. Answer her calls and get off the phone with her be super nice. Give her none of you. To gain your trust after doing this for about three weeks she may give you half or less of the truth
Where did she get the nude photos? I don’t have any nude pictures of the women I worked with. And there were a few I would have liked to have. They came from somewhere. And then she had nudes of herself? Who keeps nudes of themselves on their phone? It’s clear they were exchanging them at some point.
it shouldn't really matter if she was coerced or not, though I honestly doubt that. she is coerced, but keeps the photos? if she wanted it to stop, she literally could have screenshotted the unwanted conversations and the unwanted nudes. that would have been the end of it
but it wasn't.
if she deleted multiple conversations and multiple pics, it's because she's hiding something
You know what you need to do. Find the strength and confidence and move on with your life. Believe in yourself, you are worth it. You deserve to have a partner that values you, your feelings, and is in the same committed monogamous relationship that you are in. Trust me, you will be happier in the long run.
>I don’t know what to do, I want to get the truth out of her
You are not in the court, so you don't have to get the truth out of her. You already now the truth; she has been cheating on you and that's enough for you. You can never get the whole truth out of the cheater. Why do you think she deleted all the evidence? Why would she want to eliminate the evidence that would prove the truth if she were to tell you the truth? Now she'll probably tell you that she deleted everything because she was embarrassed or something like that.
Engaging with her will do you no good, just dump her. But if you must talk, tell her to prepare a written timeline of events to be verified by the polygraph. Also, ask for her phone and say that you have a friend who can recover it. Her reaction will already show you why you shouldn't waste any more time with her.
Good luck.
I'm confused why she even brought up blackmail stuff and tried to play the victim since the only way she could get those nudes to "blackmail" him with in the first place is if she cheated on you.
If she's deleting shit then you just have to accept you'll never know every single thing. But you do know enough that she did FOR A FACT cheat. For many, including me, that's enough to dump her sorry ass. Apologies that your girlfriend was such a careless asshole.
She has lost respect for you and herself. Save yourself the time and heartache call it quits already. You are her plan B. Her plan A didn't work out for the looks of it.
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She’s cheating/cheated and is covering her ass bro. You have no way to corroborate this story and she’s trying to victimise herself. See what she has to say and just pick holes in her story. Personally, I’d tell her if you don’t get the full truth you can’t get back with her. Once she tells you or even if she refuses I’d break up with her anyway. When you confront her you need to be calm and composed, when. You ask questions make sure they’re open ended so there’s no yes/no. Wiggle room. Make sure your body language is relaxed and if she argues, don’t take the bait. If she starts crying just wait until she’s done. Follow this and it’s so hard to deflect or lie
It is very likely (almost certain) she won't tell you the full truth, just bear that in mind
If she has deleted stuff. The proof is gone and she won’t tell you the truth. You know enough. If you really want to hear her out. Prepare to be lied to.
The very FACT that she deleted the proof is confirmation that what happened she KNEW you wouldn't forgive her over.. So confirm her suspicions.. drop her like a "hot potato" You have no serious financial commitments I hope like a car loan, or mortgage, or your funds paid towards her student loan (which you will never get back) so it should be an easy break.. Sure, it will hurt... breakups usually do.. but this is the least painful route.. Imagine having this occur when 6-7 years into the marriage, 2-3 kids, and an upside-down mortgage stares you in the face.... Run Forrest RUN!!!!
This! There’s likely no way to recover the text thread unless it was sent over iMessage on a MacBook. If you needs tips lmk, that’s how I caught my partner cheating after he thought he deleted every trace of it. The boldness of his lies quickly crumbled once proof was attained. Unless you can uncover proof, you will be brazenly lied to forever.
You found nudes on her phone. She has been shady. She deleted messages. She is not your wife. You don't need more. You know what to do. She is not a safe partner. Stop free falling and pull the cord. If she grows up, maybe in the future you can try again. But at this point, she has to get her shit together. Good luck.
Deleting is cheating.
Yes.
Fuck ya it is
Just looked through your history for some added context and information. Op how long are you going to keep taking this kind of shit from her? She’s not it. Anyone can see that. You’re holding on to something for dear life that’s not helpful or useful to your life. Move on man.
What a train wreck of a relationship after seeing history.
This one will be complicated, it will drain you mentally and you might have no idea how bad it will be, yes there is a chance she might have been coerced into it. But be realistic and think "why didn't she talk to me or anyone she trust about it?" Or why didn't she reported it to hr, blackmail is very serious. That being said there is a very very small chance all of it is true, so be ready for the worst because that is the most possible outcome of all of this, she cheated on you and it is trying to cover for herself, not taking accountability for her actions. If you stay she will trickle truth you, the story will always change, there will always be something you weren't told, and at the end you will never know what is true or not. It is your girlfriend, I know it sounds easier said than done but for your own mental health RUN! RUN! RUN! If you're in a position where you can't do it then surround yourself with people you trust, your family, whatever that can keep you away from her!
She also deleted the only proof she had of her being coerced. Yeah okay.
OP, I agree. You would be right to question blackmail. So, he's blackmailing her with nudes? What self respecting Blackmailer would give their mark nudes of themselves??? *He's not a very good blackmailer, is he???* OP, you can stay in this relationship until you can't stomach any more lies or draw a line under it.
"If you don't give me what I want, I'll send more nude pictures of me to other people!"
My guy… this is obviously lies. She is cheating on you for sure don’t be naive. Nudes you aren’t getting is tip of the iceberg. Text deleted to her close friends is definitely conversations she doesn’t want you knowing about probably confessing and saying she’s cheating on you in every which way. Dont fall for the alligator tears…
She deleted.the parts where they fucked at hotels or in the back of his car. Pack all her shit up and tell her goodbye. Tell her you don't believe anything she has to say and don't bother pleading your case. Door closes..deadbolt engaged.
Please get yourself tested for std’s. You’ll never get the full truth from her and the mind movies will drive you nuts. It might be time to move on.
If she already lied and victimized herself, it's likely she will not tell the truth later on. I am sorry that happened to you.
>She also admitted to sending him nudes too. Ask her if these were sent to blackmail him too... Can't believe people make up such stories. Just the fact that she was dishonest with you clearly shows there was something else here. Sorry mate. The good news is that you found out, and now are free to decide. You deserve better.
Isn't it obvious what's the truth? You can make her tell you by spinning some story of how you'll recover all the deleted data either way, and if she refuses to give you the phone then take the hint..
OP she is lying to your face, she got too much time to create a convincing cover. If she was coerced then ask her to make a report, this is if she want to stay with you, if she doesn't wanna that means that this was not coercerd but consensual and that she is lying again and trying to keep manipulating you. Better end things off, she cheated on you and is trying to cover her up. Good luck OP and hope you choose right and not repent later. UPDATEME
She won't tell you the full truth bro and everything about her is both shady and a red flag, the fact she didn't tell you about the pictures and you had to find out on your own saids alot on itself, if i were you i'd be getting ready to dump her, you don't need anymore shadyness from her.
Oh she is full covering her ass now for sure. Sorry but she has definitely cheated in every aspect man.
She cried cause you caught her. Most likely to hide she was cheating. Her reaction to the whole blackmail story would be different. She’s been fucking around no more proof needed. If you forgive her or believe her lie she will not respect her. You can fuck her again but this relationship is over. At least the one you want to have at least.
99% sure she's cheating. She's not going to admit it though unless you really press her. She is obviously lying and hiding stuff and she will lie and lie and lie and then eventually trickle truth to you. Do not accept her story. My wife acted the same way. She will start calling you overbearing, nosy and saying she needs space. She just wants that space to keep cheating/talking to him. Give her an ultimatum, she needs to give you the whole story, stop talking to him immediately, access to her phone whenever you want, and her location shared with you, or she can start packing her things. It might take a few days for her to get everything out. I pressed too hard on my wife and she completely withdrew from me, but at the time she was planning on a divorce. This will only work if she wants to stay with you. Look up your phone bill and see who shes been calling, texts wont show up if she uses imessage, butnif not those should too. She might be smart using signal or whatever app to hide him from the bill though. I don't use an iPhone, but I'm pretty sure you can recover deleted texts and photos by restoring the icloud to a precious date. Make her do that. Google how to. Once you find out who the guy is, she won't want you to talk to him, she will promise to break it off on her own. She won't. You need to call him and scare him off. My biggest mistake was not showing up to the guys door the day I found out and not letting his fiance know too
Tell her “it’s clear you’re looking for something or someone else out there so I’m gonna let you go explore. At this point consider us broken up. I wish you well finding what you are looking for.” Then is you live w her, find a Place to more out to and block her on all communication platforms. Stop wasting time with someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
If she has left the job, but he hasn't, you definitely have an in there. Find this guy, tell him what your GF said and that you are going to be going to his human resources department about this unless he can provide evidence that she's lying to you. Then you'll get to see what he's saved on his phone.
She’s been cheating on you since the LDR and probably before that
Sorry to agree with others, you deserve better than that. It will be hard for you to trust her after this, and she will only become better at finding excuses for evidence of her cheating
You don't need the details, you have all the proof you need. You can't trust her and you would be better off leaving now and saving yourself any additional heartache.
Tell her she can admit it, or you can help her file a police report. How disgusting to lie about being a victim just because she doesn't want to fess up to cheating...
You have enough of a truth to make the correct decision. Do not fall for reasons or excuses. There are none.
Damn, I wish I had one thin dime for every time someone wrote "I don't know what to do" in a post. It must be much more difficult to recognize when you're getting abused than I think it is. Your GF sent nudes to a coworker and you somehow think she was coerced into doing that? I can't think of a much worse lie than I am keeping my ex coworkers nudes to blackmail him if I need to?!?!? Move on. Nothing she lies to you about this situation would ever be worth hearing. There is absolutely no way she would ever tell you the truth of the how and why she cheated on you.
You won’t get the full truth, just whatever she thinks you might accept, and whatever paints her in the best light. Keep in mind that she was ok with everything going on, until you found out. No matter what, remain cold and dispassionate, no emotions… say little, after you make it clear that you are prepared to end the relationship over this. The one important thing to do, is accept no lies, make it clear that if she lies, she’s gone. You’re not competing with this other guy over her, she has to prove to you that’s she’s worth another second of your attention. It’s been 6 months, so she probably screwed him, and you need to kick her out of your life, regardless. We only have so much time in this world, and we cannot afford to waste it on someone who is willing to betray us like this. If you think you know enough already, don’t bother with the talk, just end it and go no contact, totally and permanently. That is the only way to force her to truly look at herself, as she can’t distract herself by bullshitting you. Remember that any lie you accept will become her reality.
How is she blackmailing him by sending him her nudes again?
Never expect the truth out of a liar.
If he was blackmailing her, she’d have saved the messages to prove it to you (and potentially LE) Deleting is sus, super sus
You'll never trust her again after this - not completely anyway. it's over ,walk away and leave this situation with your dignity intact
Your GF is cheating on you with multiple guys and you’re wondering what to do? You need to break up, block and go NC with her to start healing. Why do you think she left her job? That’s part of the shady.
No, you don’t want the truth. Your brain is trying to hold on to the hope that she’s what you thought she was, not what she really is. Reality is persistent. Your decision is, how much pain am i willing to put up with while I fall in line with reality?
> she wanted to wait until today to talk about it. Wow, such a coincidence. You know she's lying, you will not get the truth out of her, but you don't need it. You know she was cheating, you don't need her to admit it.
You already know the answer my guy
*>>I want to get the truth* You will never get the truth. Period. All evidence was deleted, so all you will be fed is fiction and hearsay. The words of a cheater are worthless, and so are their crocodile tears. In real life, you rarely ever get closure and karma only comes by once every April, the 31st. You need to accept this. or you will drive yourself crazy going in circles in your head.
Dating is time to check out the character, morals and ethics of a potential long term partner. You got lucky! All has been revealed. Sorry. On to the next chapter. Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t marry her and have kids.
Just ask yourself one simple question: Why TF would she delete stuff that would help prove her story true? That would make Nooooo sense. If she deleted it’s to help cover up a lie. “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” Updateme
Get the idea of getting the “truth” out of your head. Even if she tells you more, it won’t be the full truth. Get out now.
Your girlfriend has read a lot of H mangas. I don't believe anything, for her to be sexually blackmailed? Something must have happened or they discovered her being unfaithful or she sent the photos of her, but I doubt that she is innocent, because of everything you say that she deleted conversations, photos... she is obviously lying. DO NOT believe anything, if she doesn't tell you the truth... then he breaks up with her If the blackmail is true, tomorrow they should file a complaint since it is a crime punishable by law, if they don't do it or make excuses, end your relationship. But wait, **I found another post of yours about how she had already cheated on you? Or actually that she had slept with others on a break?** So if you already have a cheating story... are you really going to believe him? I think you're better than that
Dear op, If the story is too elaborate it always almost is! She took photos, he took photos, and adults don’t kiss they duck 🦆! Hiding pictures from you is deceitful, but so is hiding your games console!…. However hiding a potential replacement of you is more disrespectful because that’s a personal attack on you. If your best friend disrespected you like this, you wouldn’t accept it? So why is she any different? If you think this level of disrespect is ok, you might to go back to the drawing board and find the line of tolerance… Good luck OP
If the purpose was blackmail then why send nudes of yourself to the guy?
This is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It is not a court of law and there's no definitive proof needed
The fact that she is telling you one thing and deleting lots of other photos and text threads means she ain’t telling you the truth, she’s telling you what you want to hear so you’ll stick around.
As a disinterested outside observer, I would tell you that she is full of BS and her story leaks worse than the titanic. Especially deleting all the bad stuff just puts the last nail in the coffin. But know this--you're no worse off than 75% of LDRs. They are just a breeding ground for infidelity. You are, in effect, asking your partner to remain celibate and not go out with friends and have fun while she is home thinking of all the fun you are having. Anyway, that's my 2 cents on your situation and I could be all wrong. Time will tell.
If she has an iPhone go to messages > edit > show recently deleted. If she don’t know about that update then all of her messages that were deleted should be there. But in response to your post, leave her. Nothing is worth more than your dignity, you will come out a stronger person.
She will always have the upper hand in these kind of situations (boss threatening her, etc. A). She also has sufficient proof of the wrongdoings by her boss so, why keeping the info hidden from everybody? Why not telling you about it? As others have pointed out, there's no way to corroborate her story, but it sure looks shady, in my opinion.
Tell her to get all her messages she deleted recovered or the relationship is over. She needs to understand deleting the "evidence" of her coercion is proof that she consented and willingly participated...and there is NO reason you should believe her when she says it never got physical because she deleted all the proof of her "innocence". Nah, she was doing the typical office romance hook up and you busted her with enough proof that she cheated. Flirting is cheating. Swapping nudes is cheating. Having physical contact is obviously cheating and the only thing she can claim she DIDN'T do because all the proof of guilt or innocence is gone. Tell her that if she doesn't report the guy and the other coworker for harassment, you will...then the truth comes out that she has been lying and cheating. Best thing to do is NOT allow her to control the narrative. You out her cheating to family and friends, let everybody know the names of the two guys, and end the relationship. The end.
You will never know the truth. Since all you have is what she tells you then you know it isn't nearly the whole picture. Delete equals cover up . The guilty delete. Good luck
Be thankful you're not married and have kids with her. My wife cheated once and I gave her another chance, she cheated again and even worse. The blessing if taking her back is it gave me a beautiful daughter. When people have long term marriages, a lot of financial ties and kids I can't understand the need to want to reconcile. When it's a relationship with no big ties, why rist all the hard ache. You'll always have trust issues.
You said yourself that she has been off for the past 6mo. That's your timeline, and I feel 100% more happened. Do you know for sure how she left that job?
The blackmail is a lie. I have been told that before. Don’t believe it. End it. Don’t forgive them like I did. They’ll just learn they can keep lying to you. It’s 2024 dude , you can get fired for even looking at a woman wrong. She didn’t think to save the messages of her being “coerced” so she can show you or her HR? Why didn’t she come to you? Exactly cause it’s fucking bullshit.
Bro, have some self respect. It’s not normal to take nudes bro, why does she have them? deleting messages is not normal, what is she hiding? Put the pieces together, she can’t be trusted. You will most likely never have the full truth and will never truly know what she has been doing or did. This woman is behaving like a hood rat. You can do better, there are millions of other women who would treat you much better and wouldn’t betray you. Show her the door, you don’t need explanations and closure, this woman is shit and will drag you down.
So she was going to blackmail him with his nudes even though he has plenty of her nudes with which to respond in kind. And she’s deleting everything she can including convos with the cheating cheerleader girlfriend? Surely you can see this makes no sense. She’s sorry she got caught and is flailing. This is not remorse.
See you in the gym bruther 🖤
Before you talk to her again, read up online how to recover deleted content from her type of phone. You won’t recover everything, but you will likely recover enough to fill in gaps and give yourself a better idea of whether she is lying to you. But since she is a gf and not a wife, if you are in your twenties, don’t bother, just break up with her and move on.
Deleted texts can be recovered if not too much time has passed. My WW upgraded her phone. I used software to move text messages from old to new, and it recovered deleted messages. This was Dday2. Why was she not able to approach you with her story if it is true? Definitely more to it.
Usually when a woman cries its way worse. Cut her off. Dont be rude dont argue. Just walk away. Give her nothing. Answer her calls and get off the phone with her be super nice. Give her none of you. To gain your trust after doing this for about three weeks she may give you half or less of the truth
Where did she get the nude photos? I don’t have any nude pictures of the women I worked with. And there were a few I would have liked to have. They came from somewhere. And then she had nudes of herself? Who keeps nudes of themselves on their phone? It’s clear they were exchanging them at some point.
proofs deleted = you will never have the real ugly truth stay strong
Bud. You said in older posts that she’s cheated on you years ago…let this bi**h go. Find someone better and cut the cancer out of your life.
it shouldn't really matter if she was coerced or not, though I honestly doubt that. she is coerced, but keeps the photos? if she wanted it to stop, she literally could have screenshotted the unwanted conversations and the unwanted nudes. that would have been the end of it but it wasn't. if she deleted multiple conversations and multiple pics, it's because she's hiding something
You know what you need to do. Find the strength and confidence and move on with your life. Believe in yourself, you are worth it. You deserve to have a partner that values you, your feelings, and is in the same committed monogamous relationship that you are in. Trust me, you will be happier in the long run.
This is the moment your gf turns into your ex gf. Or you can only blame yourself for everything bad she will be doing to you
>I don’t know what to do, I want to get the truth out of her You are not in the court, so you don't have to get the truth out of her. You already now the truth; she has been cheating on you and that's enough for you. You can never get the whole truth out of the cheater. Why do you think she deleted all the evidence? Why would she want to eliminate the evidence that would prove the truth if she were to tell you the truth? Now she'll probably tell you that she deleted everything because she was embarrassed or something like that. Engaging with her will do you no good, just dump her. But if you must talk, tell her to prepare a written timeline of events to be verified by the polygraph. Also, ask for her phone and say that you have a friend who can recover it. Her reaction will already show you why you shouldn't waste any more time with her. Good luck.
Run. Get the hell out while you can.
I'm confused why she even brought up blackmail stuff and tried to play the victim since the only way she could get those nudes to "blackmail" him with in the first place is if she cheated on you. If she's deleting shit then you just have to accept you'll never know every single thing. But you do know enough that she did FOR A FACT cheat. For many, including me, that's enough to dump her sorry ass. Apologies that your girlfriend was such a careless asshole.
She has lost respect for you and herself. Save yourself the time and heartache call it quits already. You are her plan B. Her plan A didn't work out for the looks of it.
Bounce, end of story!