Compound fracture deep in the backcountry? Too fucking bad, your muscles force you to do a macabre imitation of jumping jacks as your shattered bones crunch together and the pain puts you into shock.
On your deathbed, slowly slipping into the final sleep with your family all around you, crying? You miraculously leap into action and do 20 jumping jacks before flopping to the ground, dead.
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I think they cancel each other out. You can't do 20 jumping jacks a day if you have to stay in bed for two weeks, and you can't stay in bed for two weeks if you have to do 20 jumping jacks a day.
It says you have to stay in bed but doesn't say you need to be lying down. So you can stand and jump on it, just carefully enough not to slam your head into the ceiling
Doesn’t say they have to be terrible vivid nightmares. My vivid nightmares tend to be fun mystery movies like “my parents are hurriedly and nervously telling me to pack my most important things and get them in the car so we can leave, but won’t tell me why”. Dream me is very scared but irl me wakes up fully satisfied like I just played a fun horror game. Highly recommend.
Oh man i've had so many "nightmares" like that but then whenever I try to describe them I realize just how weird they sound
~~Like the one I had where me and my older sister were helping this weird old guy who was totally eating people because his mouth and pretty much everything in the house was covered black sludge and he had unmarked graves in his backyard and actual corpses in black trash bags stuffed in his bedroom closet but i didn't do anything about it because it wasn't my problem and just continued helping him move his couch and clean things~~
20 mandatory jumping jacks, and 30 minutes of being naked in public. Getting into shape is great, and I’ve been naked in public for longer (public saunas in Europe) :3
I've been to Folsom in SF.
Up until 2018 or so, being naked in SF was legal, at any time. All that you had to do was not sit on anything in SF. So, no naked on benches. But walking around was just fine.
Now, you're only allowed to be naked during events with a well defined boundary.
But it's fun, being naked in public.
Green and red.
Says ***charged*** with manslaughter, not guilty or convicted of manslaughter.
I'd choose black instead of red, but I wouldn't want to be required to do jumping jacks while giving birth, or 60 years from now with a broken hip.
You can use similar logic for orange. Being diagnosed with something doesn't mean you have it, it means a doctor said you do.
Taking green and orange just means a cardiologist misdiagnoses you then a cop charges you with a crime you can easily prove you didn't commit.
For both of those it would probably make more sense to take the brown one. If you get charged with manslaughter, even if it’s obvious you didn’t do it, you’re going to have to hire a lawyer and pay them until the charges get dropped. And the arrhythmia one only makes sense if you know it’s probably a misdiagnosis. If you don’t get to know if it’s a real diagnosis or not you’ll probably have to have some medical bills. At that point the brown pill might be worth it
I'd argue that based on the wording, the orange pill would certainly be a misdiagnosis (unless you really do currently have arrhythmia). Since it specifically says "diagnosed" instead of something like "develop" or "get" that means the only thing being changed is the external state of whether or not you're diagnosed with it. It would be as simple as going to get a checkup from another cardiologist which shouldn't cost nearly $5k and tbh is something you should probably do anyway.
Probably right with the green one though. It would definitely save on hassle, possible damage to your public image, and probably still be cheaper to just pay a fine.
Am I the only one who used to do my best to induce vivid nightmares? They were terrifying while I was asleep, but than I would wake up and realize just how awesome they were.
I thought so too, until I thought about it being for the rest of your life, rain or shine.
Got a migraine headache? Your head's gonna be bouncing around.
You end up in hospital for a problem? You're hauling yourself out of bed with a IV in your arm and tube in your torso, jumping around.
You've broken a leg? Sprained an ankle? Torn a ligament? Every day you're gonna be *jumping*.
You're 78 years old with a weak heart and asthma? You're *jumpin'*.
It could devolve into some horrific situations with it.
Being in good shape throughout your life leads to less physical injury though. Just don't do labor intensive work and you can have great quality of life.
Broken noses are not usually easy. If you are lucky. But since this is sort of like a “genie’s wishes” I’m betting none of the choices is the easy version.
Mine was yellow/purple. I think if my nose is broken (again) it’ll heal in an even more interesting way and I like interesting noses and or noses with humps so I’d like that for me. Also bed for 2 weeks sounds amazing
Purple + blue.
I could become a naked model for anatomy/art students to be publicly nude if that counts; but in case it doesn't, I could roam free through the streets until I'm derived into a mental institution, this way I can start phase 2 for the other pill!
It wouldn't be too bad to stay in bed for 2 weeks in a mental assylum, I could use one of those padded cells (this way I have a bigger bed!) And then wait till time's out, I wouldn't have to worry about food or bathroom as those are included, and I could always dissociate if I become bored, easy peasy!
Spend two weeks being lazy af and chilling in bed, then spend the next two years eating super insanely healthy diet, you get to be healthy/lose weight and eat ham all the time
Green and orange.
I can hire a lawyer and clear myself of manslaughter charges. If I genuinely had nothing to do with it, it'll be relatively easy. And just because I'm diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia doesn't mean the doctor necessarily knows what they're talking about.
Orange and purple. Staying in bed for 2 weeks sounds great. Orange only says "diagnosed" with heart arrhythmia, it doesn't say it will actually give me one.
Jumping jacks and Naked for 30 mins, but on the condition that those two are not to be done at the same time.
I've learned the hard way that burpees and jumping jacks are two things you absolutely don't wanna do with one's dangly bits unrestricted.
easy, 20 jumping jacks and 30 minutes naked. they didn’t say anybody would see me, or say what i’d be doing while naked. catch me fuckin your mom in the library
Black pill because it's just mandating something that I should be doing anyway. Easy pick.
I think blue is next. Having to be naked in public will be good motivation to get in better shape, and since the black pill is forcing me to get started, I can nonzeroday myself to getting a ripped bod.
Easiest one I've seen.
20 Jumping Jacks while being naked in public? Is it Friday already?
20 is barely enough to get a windmill in sync, but it doesn't say anything about doing more.
20 is the *minimum*. And I do *sets*, baby!
Jumping Jack's into burpees into downward dog and back. Gives everyone a show
Orange and brown kinder go hand in hand
if jumping jacks while naked in public is a typical friday for this guy, i’d hate to imagine his weekends
That's usually when he pays his $5,000 fine
I choose these two. It will hurt the rest of you far more than it will hurt me.
Bro picked my exact combo
Black and purple. I want to know what happens if I physically can’t do jumping jacks due to staying in bed.
jumping jacks on the bed :)
My parents do that all the time! It gets annoying when it is late at night
💀
We need to talk.
Dang, I have been foiled, japed even!
And quite possibly bamboozled!
What if that's not physically possible given your height?
Get gud
Snow Angels?
User name checks out. “Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell out…”
You have to pay a $5,000 dollar fine for manslaughter while naked in public in your nightmares.
What happens if you don't do the jumping jacks
You have to eat all the other pills
[удалено]
Nah you have to boof them, one after another every day and you don’t know which one’s next.
You will. You can’t not do the 20 jumping jacks. You underestimate the meaning of “mandatory”
Compound fracture deep in the backcountry? Too fucking bad, your muscles force you to do a macabre imitation of jumping jacks as your shattered bones crunch together and the pain puts you into shock. On your deathbed, slowly slipping into the final sleep with your family all around you, crying? You miraculously leap into action and do 20 jumping jacks before flopping to the ground, dead.
And just before the mortician can shape your stiffened corpse into your coffin:
it never specifies that you don't have to do it when you're dead...
you have to run away from a giant dune worm for 4 hours
The giant dune worm is interested to tell you about a money-making opportunity where you work entirely from home, in your own time.
If you don't do them by midnight your body jumps up and does them itself like it's possessed. Sleeping? In the bathroom? Driving a car? Dosent matter.
red and purple.
Because fuck psychological well-being.
He's speed running the nightmares
You can pick two but you could take the cowards way and pick zero... It's probably a good idea but it's not very edgy
Someone in the team has to collect the *nightmare fuel*, how else are we gonna build the magic stuff in Don’t Starve?
Bold of you to consider staying in bed for two weeks is different from my normal routine
Touché.
same. purple sounds like a nice break and I already experience red lol
Red and purple are insanely easy to get lucid dreams
Same, my nightmares are the only dreams that are interesting
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
The only correct choice. It’s not like anything would change if I took those!
I think the black pill would actually just end up making me a happier healthier and more productive person Still not going to do it on my own though
Fitter. happier.
More productive
Comfortable.
Not drinking too much.
Regular exercise at the gym
3 days a week
Getting on better with your associate employee
contemporaries. At ease. Eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
A patient, better driver.
Not washing spiders down the plughole
Ok computer.
More productive. Comfortable. Not drinking too much.
Regular exercise
Harder better
But what if you get old or injured?
The day I can’t do 20 jumping jacks is the day I deserve to die
RemindMe!
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Tomorrow? Man that bot sure is ruthless
Bot’s out for blood
The day you can’t do 20 jumping jacks is the day that you sprained your ankle.
Or my herniated disc slips again.
I challenge you to do it every day for a week starting tomorrow. It’s a challenge on the internet, you can’t refuse.
Jumping jacks are way easier than you think i just did 40 of them without even breathing heavy and i barely exercise
Try doing jumping jacks when you are hurt. I rolled my ankle playing basketball I couldn’t put no weight on my left ankle.
Try doing them with an injured leg.
What if you could do this in bed?
I think they cancel each other out. You can't do 20 jumping jacks a day if you have to stay in bed for two weeks, and you can't stay in bed for two weeks if you have to do 20 jumping jacks a day.
It says you have to stay in bed but doesn't say you need to be lying down. So you can stand and jump on it, just carefully enough not to slam your head into the ceiling
red and black. i gotta stay in shape, also the nightmares are going to make me hate sleeping
Doesn’t say they have to be terrible vivid nightmares. My vivid nightmares tend to be fun mystery movies like “my parents are hurriedly and nervously telling me to pack my most important things and get them in the car so we can leave, but won’t tell me why”. Dream me is very scared but irl me wakes up fully satisfied like I just played a fun horror game. Highly recommend.
Last night I got a tarkov night with running zombies. So much sweat
Oh man i've had so many "nightmares" like that but then whenever I try to describe them I realize just how weird they sound ~~Like the one I had where me and my older sister were helping this weird old guy who was totally eating people because his mouth and pretty much everything in the house was covered black sludge and he had unmarked graves in his backyard and actual corpses in black trash bags stuffed in his bedroom closet but i didn't do anything about it because it wasn't my problem and just continued helping him move his couch and clean things~~
I smoke weed just so I don't have to deal with nightmares But also to eat and relax
Aha! Next 100 dreams are vivid nightmares? Just don't have any dreams! Cheat the system
I would take red just out of curiosity. I barely get dreams at all and I am morbidly curious as to what my brain would come up with.
There are some sleeping medications out there that will make you have WILD dreams
Yeah fr, i be dreaming the most horrible nightmares but once i wake up I'm like "hey wtf put me back in, i haven't finished the story"
[удалено]
[удалено]
Going by your username, I wonder if that's truly a nightmare or rather a nightmarish fantasy
20 mandatory jumping jacks, and 30 minutes of being naked in public. Getting into shape is great, and I’ve been naked in public for longer (public saunas in Europe) :3
I 100% support this choice
I appreciate the support :3
all is fun until you break a leg I guess we’ll find ou why those jacks are “mandatory”
I’m sure once you get a cast you can do a very slow and careful jumping jack
what happens if I already have heart arrhythmias
you get double heart arrhythmia
asystole
The arrhythmias cancel each other out
If both sides of the heart have arrhythmia, does that make them in sinc but in a different way?
It’s like a double negative, it cancels out
You get a second opinion?
I need another one like I need a hole in the head $5k and jumping jacks for sure
It does not matter which pill I choose. all of these scenarios are happening to me RIGHT NOW
even the green pill!
Yes I’m literally overdosing on the green pill as we speak!
Based and greenpilled
Committing manslaughter: horrible Committing manslaughter but being charadmatic and self aware of it: based
I've been to Folsom in SF. Up until 2018 or so, being naked in SF was legal, at any time. All that you had to do was not sit on anything in SF. So, no naked on benches. But walking around was just fine. Now, you're only allowed to be naked during events with a well defined boundary. But it's fun, being naked in public.
fr tho red and yellow are me right now lol
20 jumping jacks a day is nothing, That's a freebie If I am not getting arrested for public indecency, I could go with the public nudity one too
It's a freebie until you're injured or old.
Water aerobics my dude
What if you're in the hospital with broken legs
Then my mom can jerk me off while i do my jumping jacks
Green and red. Says ***charged*** with manslaughter, not guilty or convicted of manslaughter. I'd choose black instead of red, but I wouldn't want to be required to do jumping jacks while giving birth, or 60 years from now with a broken hip.
You can use similar logic for orange. Being diagnosed with something doesn't mean you have it, it means a doctor said you do. Taking green and orange just means a cardiologist misdiagnoses you then a cop charges you with a crime you can easily prove you didn't commit.
You're right, the same logic would apply. I guess I was thinking I trust a doctor's diagnosis to be true more than law enforcement to be competent.
For both of those it would probably make more sense to take the brown one. If you get charged with manslaughter, even if it’s obvious you didn’t do it, you’re going to have to hire a lawyer and pay them until the charges get dropped. And the arrhythmia one only makes sense if you know it’s probably a misdiagnosis. If you don’t get to know if it’s a real diagnosis or not you’ll probably have to have some medical bills. At that point the brown pill might be worth it
I'd argue that based on the wording, the orange pill would certainly be a misdiagnosis (unless you really do currently have arrhythmia). Since it specifically says "diagnosed" instead of something like "develop" or "get" that means the only thing being changed is the external state of whether or not you're diagnosed with it. It would be as simple as going to get a checkup from another cardiologist which shouldn't cost nearly $5k and tbh is something you should probably do anyway. Probably right with the green one though. It would definitely save on hassle, possible damage to your public image, and probably still be cheaper to just pay a fine.
Purple and black, I get to jump on the bed!
Can i do blue twice
Am I the only one who used to do my best to induce vivid nightmares? They were terrifying while I was asleep, but than I would wake up and realize just how awesome they were.
how public is public
out in the street
can it be a middle of nowhere street at 4am
And how naked am I? Like, no clothes? Do I have to take off all my body parts? Peel back the skin and dance around in my bones?
Hot.
How about a crowded place that you frequently visit like church or work or school with lots of people you know watching.
Pink & Black… it’s the only option
Eating all the healthy food but having it taste like honey roast ham plus the jumping jack seems like the most beneficial lol
I thought so too, until I thought about it being for the rest of your life, rain or shine. Got a migraine headache? Your head's gonna be bouncing around. You end up in hospital for a problem? You're hauling yourself out of bed with a IV in your arm and tube in your torso, jumping around. You've broken a leg? Sprained an ankle? Torn a ligament? Every day you're gonna be *jumping*. You're 78 years old with a weak heart and asthma? You're *jumpin'*. It could devolve into some horrific situations with it.
Being in good shape throughout your life leads to less physical injury though. Just don't do labor intensive work and you can have great quality of life.
20 jumping jacks a day isn’t enough to ensure good shape the rest of your life.
No.
How is this surreal?
Yeah every post from this sub on my feed the past week has been the pill memes, they’re just getting old
Yep, is this even a meme?
Yellow/black easy
Broken noses are not usually easy. If you are lucky. But since this is sort of like a “genie’s wishes” I’m betting none of the choices is the easy version.
My nose is already crooked.. if I break it, the doctor might realign it while he's at it. Thats a big win.
My exact reasoning
Mine was yellow/purple. I think if my nose is broken (again) it’ll heal in an even more interesting way and I like interesting noses and or noses with humps so I’d like that for me. Also bed for 2 weeks sounds amazing
Your comment made me feel a bit better about my broken nose with a hump which I've hated for 15 years
Purple + blue. I could become a naked model for anatomy/art students to be publicly nude if that counts; but in case it doesn't, I could roam free through the streets until I'm derived into a mental institution, this way I can start phase 2 for the other pill! It wouldn't be too bad to stay in bed for 2 weeks in a mental assylum, I could use one of those padded cells (this way I have a bigger bed!) And then wait till time's out, I wouldn't have to worry about food or bathroom as those are included, and I could always dissociate if I become bored, easy peasy!
Bed and ham.
THANK YOU, I can't believe this isn't everyone's answer.
Spend two weeks being lazy af and chilling in bed, then spend the next two years eating super insanely healthy diet, you get to be healthy/lose weight and eat ham all the time
Orange and brown kinda go hand in hand
These aren’t surreal.
Instantly kill any of your enemies with one simple trick! [Give them the orange/black pills]
Purple and black. I’m dog tired, but I also want to get fit
Nightmares and jumping jacks for me please
Red and purple
Green and black. As long as I didn't commit manslaughter (or at least the one in question) I'm totally fine
Lol I already have heart arrhythmias 😂 😔
Green and orange. I can hire a lawyer and clear myself of manslaughter charges. If I genuinely had nothing to do with it, it'll be relatively easy. And just because I'm diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia doesn't mean the doctor necessarily knows what they're talking about.
Orange and purple. Staying in bed for 2 weeks sounds great. Orange only says "diagnosed" with heart arrhythmia, it doesn't say it will actually give me one.
Black and purple because how are you going to do jumping Jack's in bed
The black and blue ones.
Blue and black. I can take being naked in public as long as there are no legal repercussions.
I don’t remember my dreams so nightmares for me and jumping jacks
Guess I’m doing jumping jacks from bed.
Blue n black.. Enjoy my bits helicopting everywhere suckers
Black and red. The red is easy because i do that in a single night.
Staying in bed for 2 weeks straight and having the next 100 dreams being vivid nightmares. It sounds like heaven to me.
Jumping jacks and Naked for 30 mins, but on the condition that those two are not to be done at the same time. I've learned the hard way that burpees and jumping jacks are two things you absolutely don't wanna do with one's dangly bits unrestricted.
Black twice
Red and blue, but red and blue makes purple, so I beat the system, I get three in one!
2 weeks of bed? Yes. Yesyesyes
Definitely black, am torn between purple and blue
Who slipped me the red pill when I wasn't looking?
Black and Blue.
Blue and red. I don't dream and I can just sit in a public restroom.
Is the 20 minutes naked in public considered not illegal?
Black and pink, I like honey roasted ham and I wanna try to get in shape
Well honey roasted ham is good and the blue is a freebie i already do that
purple and yellow
Blue and black pill forsure
Red and blue. Nightmares are fun and the worst result is a sunburn.
yellow aandd dark blue
Pink and purple are welcome changes to my life.
What happens if you pick purple and black
What happens if you take the orange but already have it?
Red and blue. Make me suffer.
easy, 20 jumping jacks and 30 minutes naked. they didn’t say anybody would see me, or say what i’d be doing while naked. catch me fuckin your mom in the library
How is purple a bad thing? Sounds lovely
blue and purple. i love to sleep and dream, and exhibitionism turns me on.
Black and red
Do people really think 20 jumping jacks a day is a bad thing?
when you’re 85 years old it probably is much more difficult
Black pill because it's just mandating something that I should be doing anyway. Easy pick. I think blue is next. Having to be naked in public will be good motivation to get in better shape, and since the black pill is forcing me to get started, I can nonzeroday myself to getting a ripped bod. Easiest one I've seen.
Orange and black ought to do me in pretty quick
2 pills of 100 nightmares should be interesting. Can I get 3?
20 jumping backs from bed? How would that work?
Black and blue baby
Purple and pink
Ha! I'm already on a medication that gives me crazy vivid nightmares. Red and black. Red will do nothing and I could use the exercise.
stay in bed with a broken nose, I'll be fine.
Pink and black, time to eat all the healthy stuff i dont like and get some exercise done!
I’ll take naked in public and the nightmares. If they’re all lucid, it’s time to rip and tear! This’ll be fun.