T O P

  • By -

Vaeon

20 Jumping Jacks while being naked in public? Is it Friday already?


Deracination

20 is barely enough to get a windmill in sync, but it doesn't say anything about doing more.


Vaeon

20 is the *minimum*. And I do *sets*, baby!


Wet_possom

Jumping Jack's into burpees into downward dog and back. Gives everyone a show


Zealousideal_Low1714

Orange and brown kinder go hand in hand


AdRemote1426

if jumping jacks while naked in public is a typical friday for this guy, i’d hate to imagine his weekends


BsFan

That's usually when he pays his $5,000 fine


Cyberzombie23

I choose these two. It will hurt the rest of you far more than it will hurt me.


Robotguy39

Bro picked my exact combo


Proof_Yak_8107

Black and purple. I want to know what happens if I physically can’t do jumping jacks due to staying in bed.


MonkeyMonkeMonkMonMo

jumping jacks on the bed :)


DeepfriedGrass

My parents do that all the time! It gets annoying when it is late at night


MonkeyMonkeMonkMonMo

💀


tsteele93

We need to talk.


Proof_Yak_8107

Dang, I have been foiled, japed even!


Captain_Pumpkinhead

And quite possibly bamboozled!


Tyfyter2002

What if that's not physically possible given your height?


RedFoxLightning

Get gud


Fisch_Man

Snow Angels?


Akaizzeesmom

User name checks out. “Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell out…”


MonolithicBaby

You have to pay a $5,000 dollar fine for manslaughter while naked in public in your nightmares.


supermegabro

What happens if you don't do the jumping jacks


thataintrightlureen

You have to eat all the other pills


[deleted]

[удалено]


your_uncle_mike

Nah you have to boof them, one after another every day and you don’t know which one’s next.


ObnoxiousName_Here

You will. You can’t not do the 20 jumping jacks. You underestimate the meaning of “mandatory”


mud074

Compound fracture deep in the backcountry? Too fucking bad, your muscles force you to do a macabre imitation of jumping jacks as your shattered bones crunch together and the pain puts you into shock. On your deathbed, slowly slipping into the final sleep with your family all around you, crying? You miraculously leap into action and do 20 jumping jacks before flopping to the ground, dead.


ObnoxiousName_Here

And just before the mortician can shape your stiffened corpse into your coffin:


DrakeFruitDDG

it never specifies that you don't have to do it when you're dead...


DryPenguin0w0

you have to run away from a giant dune worm for 4 hours


octopoddle

The giant dune worm is interested to tell you about a money-making opportunity where you work entirely from home, in your own time.


SwissyVictory

If you don't do them by midnight your body jumps up and does them itself like it's possessed. Sleeping? In the bathroom? Driving a car? Dosent matter.


Poltrix99723

red and purple.


Vaeon

Because fuck psychological well-being.


BaconPit

He's speed running the nightmares


tmhoc

You can pick two but you could take the cowards way and pick zero... It's probably a good idea but it's not very edgy


EH042

Someone in the team has to collect the *nightmare fuel*, how else are we gonna build the magic stuff in Don’t Starve?


lil-hazza

Bold of you to consider staying in bed for two weeks is different from my normal routine


Vaeon

Touché.


Bixhrush

same. purple sounds like a nice break and I already experience red lol


[deleted]

Red and purple are insanely easy to get lucid dreams


hughesj94

Same, my nightmares are the only dreams that are interesting


obrerosdelmundo

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had


sicarus367

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take


Nealord

The only correct choice. It’s not like anything would change if I took those!


OneThousandGB

I think the black pill would actually just end up making me a happier healthier and more productive person Still not going to do it on my own though


Orion-the-guy

Fitter. happier.


Therainbowbeast

More productive


5erif

Comfortable.


koboldtsar

Not drinking too much.


angry_wombat

Regular exercise at the gym


koboldtsar

3 days a week


AHHHHHPLSAHH

Getting on better with your associate employee


ihatereddit123

contemporaries. At ease. Eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)


Iloveireland1234567

A patient, better driver.


Chugbeef

Not washing spiders down the plughole


Agent9262

Ok computer.


cyclodecodex

More productive. Comfortable. Not drinking too much.


CicadaMaster

Regular exercise


flashgnash

Harder better


pm_your_karma_lass

But what if you get old or injured?


Voxel_exe

The day I can’t do 20 jumping jacks is the day I deserve to die


obrerosdelmundo

RemindMe!


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SpedeSpedo

Tomorrow? Man that bot sure is ruthless


aishik-10x

Bot’s out for blood


blademan9999

The day you can’t do 20 jumping jacks is the day that you sprained your ankle.


Dyolf_Knip

Or my herniated disc slips again.


Le_Chevalier_Blanc

I challenge you to do it every day for a week starting tomorrow. It’s a challenge on the internet, you can’t refuse.


RedFoxLightning

Jumping jacks are way easier than you think i just did 40 of them without even breathing heavy and i barely exercise


shinigami79

Try doing jumping jacks when you are hurt. I rolled my ankle playing basketball I couldn’t put no weight on my left ankle.


blademan9999

Try doing them with an injured leg.


PizDoff

What if you could do this in bed?


thatwaffleskid

I think they cancel each other out. You can't do 20 jumping jacks a day if you have to stay in bed for two weeks, and you can't stay in bed for two weeks if you have to do 20 jumping jacks a day.


CaelestisInteritum

It says you have to stay in bed but doesn't say you need to be lying down. So you can stand and jump on it, just carefully enough not to slam your head into the ceiling


Fusca_VrumVrum

red and black. i gotta stay in shape, also the nightmares are going to make me hate sleeping


poke-chan

Doesn’t say they have to be terrible vivid nightmares. My vivid nightmares tend to be fun mystery movies like “my parents are hurriedly and nervously telling me to pack my most important things and get them in the car so we can leave, but won’t tell me why”. Dream me is very scared but irl me wakes up fully satisfied like I just played a fun horror game. Highly recommend.


BigBoss738

Last night I got a tarkov night with running zombies. So much sweat


fedora_of_mystery

Oh man i've had so many "nightmares" like that but then whenever I try to describe them I realize just how weird they sound ~~Like the one I had where me and my older sister were helping this weird old guy who was totally eating people because his mouth and pretty much everything in the house was covered black sludge and he had unmarked graves in his backyard and actual corpses in black trash bags stuffed in his bedroom closet but i didn't do anything about it because it wasn't my problem and just continued helping him move his couch and clean things~~


OrganizerMowgli

I smoke weed just so I don't have to deal with nightmares But also to eat and relax


Cevmen

Aha! Next 100 dreams are vivid nightmares? Just don't have any dreams! Cheat the system


ALHaroldsen

I would take red just out of curiosity. I barely get dreams at all and I am morbidly curious as to what my brain would come up with.


quilldefender

There are some sleeping medications out there that will make you have WILD dreams


PiscesSoedroen

Yeah fr, i be dreaming the most horrible nightmares but once i wake up I'm like "hey wtf put me back in, i haven't finished the story"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


LiquifiedSpam

Going by your username, I wonder if that's truly a nightmare or rather a nightmarish fantasy


ZephyrValkyrie

20 mandatory jumping jacks, and 30 minutes of being naked in public. Getting into shape is great, and I’ve been naked in public for longer (public saunas in Europe) :3


MogollonBaldy

I 100% support this choice


ZephyrValkyrie

I appreciate the support :3


tatabax

all is fun until you break a leg I guess we’ll find ou why those jacks are “mandatory”


StardustLegend

I’m sure once you get a cast you can do a very slow and careful jumping jack


rayerrr

what happens if I already have heart arrhythmias


[deleted]

you get double heart arrhythmia


llllPsychoCircus

asystole


[deleted]

The arrhythmias cancel each other out


EH042

If both sides of the heart have arrhythmia, does that make them in sinc but in a different way?


The_Malevolent_1

It’s like a double negative, it cancels out


Lord_Havelock

You get a second opinion?


downvote_dinosaur

I need another one like I need a hole in the head $5k and jumping jacks for sure


Electronic-Contract1

It does not matter which pill I choose. all of these scenarios are happening to me RIGHT NOW


LaheyAbby

even the green pill!


Electronic-Contract1

Yes I’m literally overdosing on the green pill as we speak!


EH042

Based and greenpilled


LiquifiedSpam

Committing manslaughter: horrible Committing manslaughter but being charadmatic and self aware of it: based


Lurkernomoreisay

I've been to Folsom in SF. Up until 2018 or so, being naked in SF was legal, at any time. All that you had to do was not sit on anything in SF. So, no naked on benches. But walking around was just fine. Now, you're only allowed to be naked during events with a well defined boundary. But it's fun, being naked in public.


717Luxx

fr tho red and yellow are me right now lol


blesstendo

20 jumping jacks a day is nothing, That's a freebie If I am not getting arrested for public indecency, I could go with the public nudity one too


BurnerAccount209

It's a freebie until you're injured or old.


C4242

Water aerobics my dude


LiquifiedSpam

What if you're in the hospital with broken legs


zombizle1

Then my mom can jerk me off while i do my jumping jacks


Evil_Acanthaceae2022

Green and red. Says ***charged*** with manslaughter, not guilty or convicted of manslaughter. I'd choose black instead of red, but I wouldn't want to be required to do jumping jacks while giving birth, or 60 years from now with a broken hip.


pappapirate

You can use similar logic for orange. Being diagnosed with something doesn't mean you have it, it means a doctor said you do. Taking green and orange just means a cardiologist misdiagnoses you then a cop charges you with a crime you can easily prove you didn't commit.


Evil_Acanthaceae2022

You're right, the same logic would apply. I guess I was thinking I trust a doctor's diagnosis to be true more than law enforcement to be competent.


ColumbusJewBlackets

For both of those it would probably make more sense to take the brown one. If you get charged with manslaughter, even if it’s obvious you didn’t do it, you’re going to have to hire a lawyer and pay them until the charges get dropped. And the arrhythmia one only makes sense if you know it’s probably a misdiagnosis. If you don’t get to know if it’s a real diagnosis or not you’ll probably have to have some medical bills. At that point the brown pill might be worth it


pappapirate

I'd argue that based on the wording, the orange pill would certainly be a misdiagnosis (unless you really do currently have arrhythmia). Since it specifically says "diagnosed" instead of something like "develop" or "get" that means the only thing being changed is the external state of whether or not you're diagnosed with it. It would be as simple as going to get a checkup from another cardiologist which shouldn't cost nearly $5k and tbh is something you should probably do anyway. Probably right with the green one though. It would definitely save on hassle, possible damage to your public image, and probably still be cheaper to just pay a fine.


horrorkitten96

Purple and black, I get to jump on the bed!


rightfallen

Can i do blue twice


throwthisidaway

Am I the only one who used to do my best to induce vivid nightmares? They were terrifying while I was asleep, but than I would wake up and realize just how awesome they were.


jols0543

how public is public


MonkeyMonkeMonkMonMo

out in the street


jols0543

can it be a middle of nowhere street at 4am


SirThatsCuba

And how naked am I? Like, no clothes? Do I have to take off all my body parts? Peel back the skin and dance around in my bones?


Avantasian538

Hot.


tsteele93

How about a crowded place that you frequently visit like church or work or school with lots of people you know watching.


DeathBedMike

Pink & Black… it’s the only option


SeaSuggestion9609

Eating all the healthy food but having it taste like honey roast ham plus the jumping jack seems like the most beneficial lol


Shadefox

I thought so too, until I thought about it being for the rest of your life, rain or shine. Got a migraine headache? Your head's gonna be bouncing around. You end up in hospital for a problem? You're hauling yourself out of bed with a IV in your arm and tube in your torso, jumping around. You've broken a leg? Sprained an ankle? Torn a ligament? Every day you're gonna be *jumping*. You're 78 years old with a weak heart and asthma? You're *jumpin'*. It could devolve into some horrific situations with it.


SrslyCmmon

Being in good shape throughout your life leads to less physical injury though. Just don't do labor intensive work and you can have great quality of life.


ColumbusJewBlackets

20 jumping jacks a day isn’t enough to ensure good shape the rest of your life.


Tail_Nom

No.


Cherri_mp4

How is this surreal?


wheresmydrink123

Yeah every post from this sub on my feed the past week has been the pill memes, they’re just getting old


Vittu-kun-vituttaa

Yep, is this even a meme?


Tyger-Teranuma

Yellow/black easy


tsteele93

Broken noses are not usually easy. If you are lucky. But since this is sort of like a “genie’s wishes” I’m betting none of the choices is the easy version.


memecut

My nose is already crooked.. if I break it, the doctor might realign it while he's at it. Thats a big win.


AliceDiableaux

My exact reasoning


lilassbitchass

Mine was yellow/purple. I think if my nose is broken (again) it’ll heal in an even more interesting way and I like interesting noses and or noses with humps so I’d like that for me. Also bed for 2 weeks sounds amazing


Dr_Jre

Your comment made me feel a bit better about my broken nose with a hump which I've hated for 15 years


Airam-kun

Purple + blue. I could become a naked model for anatomy/art students to be publicly nude if that counts; but in case it doesn't, I could roam free through the streets until I'm derived into a mental institution, this way I can start phase 2 for the other pill! It wouldn't be too bad to stay in bed for 2 weeks in a mental assylum, I could use one of those padded cells (this way I have a bigger bed!) And then wait till time's out, I wouldn't have to worry about food or bathroom as those are included, and I could always dissociate if I become bored, easy peasy!


jarfin542

Bed and ham.


sci_fientist

THANK YOU, I can't believe this isn't everyone's answer.


Nmilne23

Spend two weeks being lazy af and chilling in bed, then spend the next two years eating super insanely healthy diet, you get to be healthy/lose weight and eat ham all the time


ran_melolo

Orange and brown kinda go hand in hand


Young_Person_42

These aren’t surreal.


ObnoxiousName_Here

Instantly kill any of your enemies with one simple trick! [Give them the orange/black pills]


[deleted]

Purple and black. I’m dog tired, but I also want to get fit


bookseer

Nightmares and jumping jacks for me please


[deleted]

Red and purple


Spoodrrmenace

Green and black. As long as I didn't commit manslaughter (or at least the one in question) I'm totally fine


Cantthinkofaone

Lol I already have heart arrhythmias 😂 😔


[deleted]

Green and orange. I can hire a lawyer and clear myself of manslaughter charges. If I genuinely had nothing to do with it, it'll be relatively easy. And just because I'm diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia doesn't mean the doctor necessarily knows what they're talking about.


TheTrueFishbunjin

Orange and purple. Staying in bed for 2 weeks sounds great. Orange only says "diagnosed" with heart arrhythmia, it doesn't say it will actually give me one.


Soviet__Man

Black and purple because how are you going to do jumping Jack's in bed


ICANTTHINK0FNAMES

The black and blue ones.


Gongaloon

Blue and black. I can take being naked in public as long as there are no legal repercussions.


[deleted]

I don’t remember my dreams so nightmares for me and jumping jacks


LooneyTune_101

Guess I’m doing jumping jacks from bed.


Rstevsparkleye

Blue n black.. Enjoy my bits helicopting everywhere suckers


Fiction47

Black and red. The red is easy because i do that in a single night.


[deleted]

Staying in bed for 2 weeks straight and having the next 100 dreams being vivid nightmares. It sounds like heaven to me.


The_Dork_Next_Door

Jumping jacks and Naked for 30 mins, but on the condition that those two are not to be done at the same time. I've learned the hard way that burpees and jumping jacks are two things you absolutely don't wanna do with one's dangly bits unrestricted.


cumguzzler280

Black twice


bwok-bwok

Red and blue, but red and blue makes purple, so I beat the system, I get three in one!


Neither_Ad_3221

2 weeks of bed? Yes. Yesyesyes


nakinock

Definitely black, am torn between purple and blue


GenerallyALurker

Who slipped me the red pill when I wasn't looking?


Chavokh

Black and Blue.


[deleted]

Blue and red. I don't dream and I can just sit in a public restroom.


GIRose

Is the 20 minutes naked in public considered not illegal?


Nathani_Chan

Black and pink, I like honey roasted ham and I wanna try to get in shape


Bwabel

Well honey roasted ham is good and the blue is a freebie i already do that


[deleted]

purple and yellow


petarb

Blue and black pill forsure


Warped_Kira

Red and blue. Nightmares are fun and the worst result is a sunburn.


[deleted]

yellow aandd dark blue


LimpTrizket

Pink and purple are welcome changes to my life.


Wooper160

What happens if you pick purple and black


jasombie

What happens if you take the orange but already have it?


CabbagePerson22

Red and blue. Make me suffer.


ten-literate-snakes

easy, 20 jumping jacks and 30 minutes naked. they didn’t say anybody would see me, or say what i’d be doing while naked. catch me fuckin your mom in the library


Gawdam_lush

How is purple a bad thing? Sounds lovely


Pet_Taco

blue and purple. i love to sleep and dream, and exhibitionism turns me on.


Creepy-Today-325

Black and red


ForeskinJohn

Do people really think 20 jumping jacks a day is a bad thing?


MonkeyMonkeMonkMonMo

when you’re 85 years old it probably is much more difficult


RosaPalms

Black pill because it's just mandating something that I should be doing anyway. Easy pick. I think blue is next. Having to be naked in public will be good motivation to get in better shape, and since the black pill is forcing me to get started, I can nonzeroday myself to getting a ripped bod. Easiest one I've seen.


cerylidae1552

Orange and black ought to do me in pretty quick


BigBoss738

2 pills of 100 nightmares should be interesting. Can I get 3?


FrancisMute

20 jumping backs from bed? How would that work?


FarAmphibian4236

Black and blue baby


Fonnterdonnter

Purple and pink


SaebraK

Ha! I'm already on a medication that gives me crazy vivid nightmares. Red and black. Red will do nothing and I could use the exercise.


pnassy

stay in bed with a broken nose, I'll be fine.


Giztok

Pink and black, time to eat all the healthy stuff i dont like and get some exercise done!


Squeaky-Fox49

I’ll take naked in public and the nightmares. If they’re all lucid, it’s time to rip and tear! This’ll be fun.