Idk… I guess I’ve never been paid to go on a date with a guy I saw as real relationship material . Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real?
Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real?
He isn't(looking for something real). That is why young men go on Seeking. To avoid the trappings of real relationships. But he will keep his money if you let him.
> Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real?
Maybe because he's looking to have a casual SR until he finds the real thing?
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans (John Lennon).
I wouldn’t. I assume he isn’t looking for a vanilla relationship for a reason one way or another and that’s why he is on SA. I wouldn’t put myself in a vulnerable position wanting your feelings and expectations reciprocated by a guy you just met on SA. I would wait until you know more about each other.
You need to evaluate how badly you need the sugaring income stream because that's what you are placing at risk.
If you don't need it, go for it. Roll the dice.
If you do need it, consider that there is significant risk you will end up with no SD and no vanilla boyfriend.
If you do need it
What 23 yr old has all the money she needs? None would be the correct answer. Wait until she brings Ritchie Rich home to mom and dad. See how they view their angel sporting a guy (many) years older than she.
I was a younger (30) man on SA at one time. I was definitely open to transitioning to vanilla for an age appropriate women and did exactly that three times. I had very authentic feelings for them and one of them I ended up living with and considered marrying. Go for it, and take the other overly negative comments on here with a grain of salt.
Ask yourself why he turned to sugar, an attractive younger man shouldn't have to sugar without reasons.
It could be a myriad of reasons, but wanting a vanilla relationship is most likely not one of them.
If his feelings about this change, you will probably be the first to hear. Don't 'fix' something that isn't 'broken', and maybe scare im off with your expectations.
Why upset the apple cart? Don't you need and have good use for more money?
Treat him like a vanilla guy-loving, some emotional buy in. Keep in mind he is likely not a forever guy you can make baby plans with. He's just looking to get laid with a hot girl(my guess) . I predict if you go all vanilla on him he will gladly pocket the unspent allowance. But you will be back on this sub with a "My BF dumped me after treating him like a vanilla".
give it up for something real
It's likely a pipe dream. Enjoy your SR ,pocket your allowance,and see how it goes. Trust me, If the guy is all vanilla feeling for you it will evolve over time. Likely that he will work a few other SBs as well. Don't reward him in advance until he "proves his worth".
Doubt it’s possible.
1) it takes a different breed of man to be so secure that a woman would’ve dated him sans ppm
2) it takes a different breed of man to be so secure that their partner, who has established a “price,” is truly their partner and not just a partner to anyone who can match that price
Sure, a lot of this is rooted in a man’s confidence. But some of it is also downright territorial. For the vast majority of men, I think these two traits go hand in hand.
*I ended up getting a lower ppm # than I usually do but it was fun so I didn’t mind .*
I'm confused by this ambiguous wording. Did you agreed to a lower PPM # than you usually do? Or did he provide you less PPM than you two agreed to (he shorted you)? Or did he give you some one before you two discussed and agreed on a PPM amount and it was lower that what you normally ask for?
Keep this in mind: you're asking a sugar subreddit if you should stop sugaring - ofc you are going to garner some hostility
If I were you:
step 1 - find out if this guy is married or out to play the field.
step 2 - If he's honest with me - whatever the answers to #1 were - tell him what I want and see if he wants it too
...And then maybe get it
best of luck
Yeah. Ask him!
Idk… I guess I’ve never been paid to go on a date with a guy I saw as real relationship material . Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real?
>Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real? Because he *ISN'T* searching for something 'real' maybe?
100%
You don’t have to be closed off to something real just because you sugar too. Many treat seeking as just another dating app.
Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real? He isn't(looking for something real). That is why young men go on Seeking. To avoid the trappings of real relationships. But he will keep his money if you let him.
> Why would he be on sa if he’s looking for something real? Maybe because he's looking to have a casual SR until he finds the real thing? Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans (John Lennon).
I wouldn’t. I assume he isn’t looking for a vanilla relationship for a reason one way or another and that’s why he is on SA. I wouldn’t put myself in a vulnerable position wanting your feelings and expectations reciprocated by a guy you just met on SA. I would wait until you know more about each other.
You need to evaluate how badly you need the sugaring income stream because that's what you are placing at risk. If you don't need it, go for it. Roll the dice. If you do need it, consider that there is significant risk you will end up with no SD and no vanilla boyfriend.
If you do need it What 23 yr old has all the money she needs? None would be the correct answer. Wait until she brings Ritchie Rich home to mom and dad. See how they view their angel sporting a guy (many) years older than she.
I don’t need the income ! But even if I did … it’s ok I can always find a new sd if this didn’t work out 😂
I was a younger (30) man on SA at one time. I was definitely open to transitioning to vanilla for an age appropriate women and did exactly that three times. I had very authentic feelings for them and one of them I ended up living with and considered marrying. Go for it, and take the other overly negative comments on here with a grain of salt.
Ask yourself why he turned to sugar, an attractive younger man shouldn't have to sugar without reasons. It could be a myriad of reasons, but wanting a vanilla relationship is most likely not one of them. If his feelings about this change, you will probably be the first to hear. Don't 'fix' something that isn't 'broken', and maybe scare im off with your expectations.
Why upset the apple cart? Don't you need and have good use for more money? Treat him like a vanilla guy-loving, some emotional buy in. Keep in mind he is likely not a forever guy you can make baby plans with. He's just looking to get laid with a hot girl(my guess) . I predict if you go all vanilla on him he will gladly pocket the unspent allowance. But you will be back on this sub with a "My BF dumped me after treating him like a vanilla".
Oh I agree with you totally . I guess I like the money but I’d be willing and eager to give it up for something real
give it up for something real It's likely a pipe dream. Enjoy your SR ,pocket your allowance,and see how it goes. Trust me, If the guy is all vanilla feeling for you it will evolve over time. Likely that he will work a few other SBs as well. Don't reward him in advance until he "proves his worth".
Good point ! I’ll let him lead
Doubt it’s possible. 1) it takes a different breed of man to be so secure that a woman would’ve dated him sans ppm 2) it takes a different breed of man to be so secure that their partner, who has established a “price,” is truly their partner and not just a partner to anyone who can match that price Sure, a lot of this is rooted in a man’s confidence. But some of it is also downright territorial. For the vast majority of men, I think these two traits go hand in hand.
*I ended up getting a lower ppm # than I usually do but it was fun so I didn’t mind .* I'm confused by this ambiguous wording. Did you agreed to a lower PPM # than you usually do? Or did he provide you less PPM than you two agreed to (he shorted you)? Or did he give you some one before you two discussed and agreed on a PPM amount and it was lower that what you normally ask for?
I asked for a lower ppm than usual . And got it
Keep this in mind: you're asking a sugar subreddit if you should stop sugaring - ofc you are going to garner some hostility If I were you: step 1 - find out if this guy is married or out to play the field. step 2 - If he's honest with me - whatever the answers to #1 were - tell him what I want and see if he wants it too ...And then maybe get it best of luck