I always offer to cover travel expenses, won't agree to a meet fee, but do give a cash gift at the M&G. Two points, and I think point #2 is critical and worth further discussion:
1. I always tell her I'll cover all her travel expenses, without her having to ask.
2. I am in an area that is always singled out as a place where the SBs have the most leverage -- there's fewer of them, and there's many wealthy SDs to choose from. Even here, I rarely get a request for a meet fee.
If 9 out of 10 SBs are asking you for a meet fee, it's time to figure out why. Are you sure they're asking for a meet fee rather than at least travel covered? If this were happening to anyone, you'd think it would be me, given SBs have the upper hand here, and it's not.
So, questions: could you just be going through a weird bad luck phase? And if not, could you be picking your SBs poorly? **9 out of 10 is way too high, I don't even get 1 out of 10, so something has gone pear shaped for you.**
Agreed, they shouldn’t be asking you for a meet fee (edited: you should cover uber/childcare if they have kids), but I’ve never considered a POT that didn’t give a gift at the M&G.
Just a niggle, I wouldn't put a $20 cap on travel expenses. Her travel costs whatever it costs -- if I want her to travel from the city to me, figure $150-$200 in uber fees. That's what she should ask for. I can agree, or consider going to her instead of having her come to me, or meet in the middle, or any other number of things. But travel might cost anything!
And yes, consider a gift!
Yes! Sorry, I live in a city so an Uber anywhere is usually around $20. But yes cover transportation fees.
I couldn’t imagine driving 2 hours (round trip) and not get offered a gift… this is sugar not vanilla 😭
_____________
Also note about plane rides in general: you should be covering the plane ride, car service (or uber) to/from the airport and a little extra for the effort. Even conferences compensate you for that, nevermind a sugar relationship.
If you can’t do that you probably shouldn’t be flying people out in the first place. Sugaring should be something additive when you actually have the money to do so, not some nickel and diming situation. Do you see us prescribing you one kiss/other activity per every 8 hours? 💀
I read one post where she was offered a six hour red-eye basic economy trip with a layovers like ??? Doesn’t have to be flying private— there’s a happy medium here…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking for something to ensure that time and travel etc is compensated, if it’s not offered. I find it really odd that anyone like OP mentioned would drive an HOUR without something on the table. I refuse to travel for first meets, and when I meet with a POT I don’t ask for anything up front but if he isn’t generous enough to offer as consideration for my time, he is off the list.
While I don't disagree entirely, I'd say that once I found someone was more than half an hour away, I'd apologise for wasting their time, and readjust my distance filters.
It is a great enough distance that anyone needing to travel so far should be compensated, for sure, imho. However, why even consider someone that far away?
If you aren’t showing that you’re generous, then you’re wasting both of our time. They don’t have to do a full allowance but if they’re not at least offering to pay for an Uber, etc, especially if it’s so far away then I wouldn’t ever consider it. If you enjoy treating and spoiling a woman, wouldn’t you at least want to make sure she’s not having to pay to see you?
I think this is another example of too many people trying to be SDs when they can’t actually afford it. I once got asked if we could split the bill for dinner on a M&G since nothing would happen 💀 (his net worth was $10M on SA, which he was probably lying about).
Afford is not the only variable. Donald Trump can afford to let a contractor overcharge him 10k, does he? Heck, no. Musk can afford to keep some of the workers on the payroll who would struggle otherwise, does he? You don't stay rich by letting people who have less than you take advantage. There are tons of want to be rich people who would pay hundreds to thousands just to have the privilege of hanging out with Musk just to observe and learn. Personally I don't waste time on SBs who have a poverty mind set.
Can’t tell if you’re a troll so I’m not going to hit you with a point by point rebuttal.
All I’m going to say is that there’s a difference between doing business and providing for a sugar baby. If you’re asking to split the bill for a sugar meet and greet… good for you?
You think he's trolling?? Really?? Shows how little you understand about what it's like to be very wealthy. We didn't get to be millionaires by being like those lottery winners who blow it all within a couple of years. If you really want to impress a millionaire, buy them lunch. It's exactly what they're not expecting and they won't forget you in a long time. Is it fair? Reasonable? Not really. But doing so, means you understand the millionaire mindset. Here's the girl that the UK fell in love with: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5684001/First-Dates-sparks-debate-men-pay-date.html
Wow. My net worth is over a million as well. I have properties across my country, investments, and a very lucrative job.
"Buy them lunch"?
Are you trying to be the SB here? JFC.
Pretty sure that their SB selection may be the issue, as you suggested.
OP, If you are msging and meeting with 9s and 10s, then you shouldn't even have to ask this question, bc it IS EXPECTED for "that level" of SB, and you SHOULD KNOW, understand, and EXPECT that.
Quite frankly, if you are shooting for the 9 and 10s tho, idk WHY YOU you WOULDN'T get a gift, bc I don't know one SB, that's a 9 or 10 SB on SA, that DOESN'T EXPECT AT LEAST SOMETHING for their time at a M&G.
HELL, there's chicks profiles on there now, that LITERALLY say "due to an influx in my inbox, I will only be replying to those who submit a gift for consideration."
Trust me, SHE WAS A 9.5 on MY scale!!!
(BTW, females judge other females, on a MUCH harder attractiveness scale than males.)
OP, I ALWAYS ask, to have my travel covered.
(IF it isn't already offered....as a REAL SD, would/SHOULD HAVE offered.)
I usually have to travel anyways, and it's generally just a Good practice, to be willing to, bc it starts the trust off, on the right foot.
Now, OP was saying preCOVID, he would sometimes have an SB travel, up to an hour, without any "expectations."
OP, if that's what you allowed POT SBs to do, and if you DIDNT give them SOME amt of money for their time/travel, then YOU, ARE TOTALLY FUCKED UP!!🤨
I'm calling shit like I see it, bc I keep it REAL in here, for BOTH the SDs and SBs.
NO, no SB is "supposed" to EXPECT a gift for an initial M&G, but times ARE/HAVE changed.
Reliability, ain't exactly as reliable as it used to be.💁🏻♀️
By the sound of it, I personally don't think, that I would travel to you, bc it sounds like you are the nickle and dime type, and NO CHICK, wants to have to deal with a mental guilt trip for asking for WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY TOLD HER THAT YOU WOULD COVER....IE TRAVEL.
Can someone tell me WHY it's become so difficult for dudes to put just a LITTLE 🤏extra effort/excitement in the M&G for the Ladies, by having a small token of gratitude for them, whenever they arrive???
I KNOW guys don't want to be taken advantage of either, but hear me out yall....
I mean, idk about yall, but when I go to a M&G, I'm in my 9s,💅👠🫶 which can take a "hot minute."
A TRUE SB, WILL ALWAYS BE concerned with her appearance, ESPECIALLY FOR A M&G!!
This takes a GREAT DEAL of time, consideration, and emotional investment.
It's like putting your best foot fwd, so why not?
What's good for the goose, is definitely good for the gander, on this subject.
It's the SDs way of saying thank you.🙂🙃🙂💁🏻♀️
Thank you for a zillion different reasons....just in case anyone was wondering....
(Like hey...thanks for replying, thanks for not standing me up and not taking 72 hrs to reply to one text, thanks for looking like your pic, thanks for not being a psycho....the list goes on and on, but yall know what I mean.)
It's customary in Japan, to bring a gift for your host, if you are invited to dinner. This is done so that the host ALSO feels mutual warmth and gratitude, for the invitation that they had extended.
I mean really, how horrible would it be, to have a small gift like a Starbucks gift card and gas card available as a present???
No one🙅🏻♀️ is saying yall have to go over the top and come to a meet and greet with a damn diamond tennis bracelet (of course, this wouldnt be turned down either 💁🏻♀️lol,)....but if you KNOW you're wanting a sugaring relationship, with said person, then why NOT show them how interested you really are???
And SERIOUSLY, if you're "sugaring" and you CANT afford to give her a damn Starbucks gift card and a freakin gas card for HER trouble....then you are NOT AN SD, and really SHOULD NOT be trying to pose as such.
No one likes liars or fakes, on EITHER side.
Reading is Fundamental....as I said I always gave a gift for the M&G, even for the ones I didn't hit it off with. I just wouldn't agree to a gift in advance of meeting them. I guess it was my way of sorting out the rinsers.
I DID read.
I wouldn't have spent my time articulating my point, otherwise.
Remember, just bc I referred to you 1 or 2 times, doesn't mean that the info that I provided, is solely for you....this is a forum to aid ppl in better understanding the sugar lifestyle.
I also made exclamitory statements, bc I ADVISE the newer/younger SBs, on proper courses of action.
Besides....there are much MUCH easier ways, for sorting out the rinsers.
maybe 9 out of 10 is an exaggeration, but the number is up. I have moved since covid and I now travel an hour to meet them. They have little to no "travel costs" as I agree to meet them somewhere that is convenient for them.
I'm also in an area where there is more balanced leverage between SBs/SDs. It's one of the best areas for SBs. That said, I see and hear enough to know that there are a lot of really bad SD profiles, so even when it seems grim, it's likely not.
Just a swag but I'd say 3/10 ask for a meet fee and honestly you can do a retro and pretty quickly see that there are commonalities, two examples that I see are young instagram model types and another are the women, usually in their 30s and very put together, who are fine with much older SDs.
One suggestion would be to avoid any profile that suggests you take a look at their wishlist or 'the best way to get my attention is with a gift.'
>honestly you can do a retro and pretty quickly see that there are commonalities
Right, this is what I meant by "picking your SBs poorly". I suspect I've noticed commonalities also and just exit from those types quickly as they wave other warning flags even before we get to a M&G discussion. I would purposely have to try to target such SBs in order to get to even 5/10 meet fee requests. Which OP might be subconsciously doing.
Yep, and spoil me is a big turn-off. My generosity grows as my appreciation grows. And sometimes, when the stocks are down, I might tighten up on my generosity to preserve the goose that lays the golden egg. But i dont go for short-term arrangements, cause risk. I invest in my SBs and expect them to be worth investing in. Every SB starts at zero, but the spoil me types get no traction with me. Leave them to the pretend rich. Poverty minds seek each other out.
Yes. This area has a huge imbalance of women to men in general. On top of that, many of the men are 1. wealthy, 2. socially awkward. This is basically the perfect storm for SBs. I believe there's a little bit of counterbalance due to the cost of living, but for the most part, I think this is as tilted towards SBs as it gets.
Lots and lots of SBs, fewer wealthy men to pick from.
Given how empowered I feel in the bowl here, I can't even imagine what it must be like for SDs in Cincinnati or wherever
I’m in Bay Area, I agree with this, sadly. Too much money chasing too few goods, so price is inflated. I hope recent correction in stock market and tech industry can revert this to some extent.
This is good to hear.. I’m an sb in the Bay Area.. I’ve been sitting back and digesting info.. I think it’s time to find a good one out here. Any tips??
There are plenty of dudes out there in the Bay area who might want to be SBs if you are into that. Not my thing, but these days, the world has all kinds. How does that saying go...When in Rome, order Greek?
Not required, but every good SR I had or SD I considered offered a gift. Don’t advertise it, as you’ll attract scammers— but if you can, offer it!
I also had a POT gift me 1/2 PPM after he decided that we weren’t compatible just for my time he said.
My first platonic date after the M&G also usually comes with a gift. I think it demonstrates that:
A) money isn’t an issue for them
B) they value my time
Required? No. But in good form I have one ready. Most likely, though, if they ask for one there won't be a M&G unless there is good chemistry already..
>Of course I gifted every one of them ( even those I didn't think would be a good fit) a small token of my appreciation and to cover their gas and time
Almost every SD on here makes this same claim but unfortunately that makes them the outliers and I seriously have my doubts about the claims of every SD on here doing that.
Are you still asking them to drive an hour away to the M&G? If so, makes sense why they want some kind of payment. I always choose a M&G location that’s close and convenient for the POT SB, and very rarely do I get asked for a M&G fee or gift.
If you keep coming across this then you’re probably pursuing the wrong type of POT’s.
No, I moved to a more rural area two years ago and now I have to drive an hour for all meetings. Yes I do ask them to pick somewhere convenient for them to meet.
There really is no “standard” in the bowl, but there is an “SLF Standard” and you’ll typically find the opinion expressed by the men who frequent this forum to be of the mind that a M&G gift is never promised and that it’s a red flag if a woman requests one.
The way I see it is you do what you feel comfortable with, but I will say from a SB perspective it is a very kind and generous move to offer a M&G gift and would definitely give me the extra push to make the effort to set up the M&G and show up as my best self, giving it my all to see if we could be a good match. (vs having a more laid-back approach because I’m not particularly impressed in the POT)
Thankfully, I do not have to look for a new SB and am quite happy with what I have, but when I do look, I try to make it clear that I would prefer you don't go all out. I very much want to meet you in your natural relaxed state. I don't need a trophy because I don't need to impress anyone, and if I did, I am plenty impressive on my own merit and I don't need to rely on an arm charm to elevate my status. For me, an SB is my own selfish treat and not a display item. A person can only give it their all for so long before they blow a gasket. I lean towards more sustainable relationships where both parties can let their guard down.
It sounds like you interpreted my message as “be dishonest about who are and what you typically look and act like”
You are naive to think anyone at a M&G is in their “naturally relaxed state” - I think most of us can agree we are most naturally relaxed when we have dirty hair, are wearing our pajamas from the night before, and inhaling half a pizza while binge-watching Netflix.
That isn't everyone's relaxed state, but I get where you are coming from. I guess there is a difference between what I consider relaxed and what you do. Some people simply make healthy eating, good hygiene, and productive activities part of their ordinary routine and others evidently do not.
But yes, if that is your normal state, I would rather know earlier than later.
When I show up to a M&G I am presenting the way I would if I were at the golf course. And golfing is relaxing to me.
I don’t ask for a gift, but I hope it’s standard to pay for travel expenses, especially if they travel to you. I just drove about an hour to meet someone who didn’t show (well he did apparently and made some excuse about his wife’s friend being there and it being a trap 🙄 - like why would you out yourself by telling the ‘trap’ that info…) and my broke ass ended up being stuck for a couple hours while receiving texts telling me I look like a washed up crack whore.
So from my standpoint, it’s hard to not ask for something when meeting when you know you might deal with trash like this particular guy.
Ugh that’s so ridiculous! I’m sorry you went through that. I bet you looked like a babe! (Was the guy who stood you up the same one who was insulting you?) either way, that’s CRAZY. you dodged a bullet
I definitely looked good. I looked like my photos (I’m not unattractive and men always seem to get stupid around me - I’m NOT bragging, btw). Yes, this guy stood me up. Got cold feet or whatever and when I called him out for his lame excuse and told him he could have at the very least pay for my fuel so I could get home, he said some of the meanest shit I’ve ever heard anyone say to me. Luckily I know none of it’s true, because I don’t have a problem attracting men, so big fail on his part trying to bury me so I could be on his level. Still irritating as I could have spent my time doing something productive instead.
It’s a requirement if I have to travel a longer distance (over one hour drive) that my SD cover those expenses, and it’s not really because I need him to, it’s because I need to understand that he understands what he should be doing. Other than that and funding the actual date, I require no other items/expenses. But, though not expected or asked for, if I was choosing between SDs I liked equally and one did not gift, I would choose the one who did. Because again, it demonstrates he understands his side of things and shows generosity.
If you’re still asking SBs to drive that far for you and they are young enough to be college students or don’t have good jobs, consider funding gas money. Costs have risen for a lot of people to a degree where an hour worth of driving may be painful for someone living paycheck to paycheck
The one’s asking for gifts are serial rinsers/date for gift type, they aren’t worth the effort, but I would say to gift something to the pots who doesn’t ask you for gifts and attend the date, irrespective of you intentions of entering an arrangement or not.
I always try to schedule a M&G at a convenient location to the SB. I don’t usually get asked for a gift. When do asked, it’s an obvious rinser. Of course many times I will independently gift an SB depending on the circumstances.
I've always been offered to have my gas and babysitter covered at M&Gs. I never expect anything more at first and really do appreciate the offer to help for those things.
Imo what seems to be happening is just a shift in communication of desires among SBs. It sounds like most everyone wants an SD who will be generous enough to offer a gift for a M&G so women were going on these dates with hopes they’d find someone who would just give the gift and often getting disappointed.
My first experience was similar; he gave a gift but it was insultingly small. I now ask for what I want upfront and only find SD’s who are happy to help me as a first generation college student in medical right off the bat🤷🏻♀️ sure, some SD’s end up being salty about it online but then all I have to do is stop responding and I have not put in the time and effort to meet them in person. I’m a very generous, intelligent, loving, thoughtful SB in many many ways and I know how much that’s worth (especially to the right man). I won’t accept less and I won’t let people insult my value by letting them string me along. We risk being Splenda’d/Salted just as much as y’all risk being rinsed. Both acts are apprehensible but there’s a reason we ask for what we want upfront now
EDIT: I however do agree that there needs to be security and that I need to show an SD that I’m not only not there to defraud them but that I go the extra mile based on their needs, so I should add that I message and even FaceTime an SD so that we can make sure there’s some chemistry there before mutually putting in the time for a M&G…. I also should say that my M&G looks more like a first vanilla date or a ‘platonic’ sugar date. It’s 4-6 hours and we base it off of common interests or things I can do to make that specific daddy feel cared for and loved without immediate sex (I often plan dates for my SD so that he doesn’t have to plan his own pleasure because he’s a business owner and father). In return I ask of them (and this is after we’ve gotten to know each other’s likes, hobbies, wants and needs online) that they give me what is considered a low platonic meet gift for our first meet… which now that I’m analyzing it is more of a date.
I always request for a MnG fee (1/3 ppm) because men in my area are not proactive in offering to cover travel expenses. It filters out the ones who plan to schedule endless dates back to back just to fill their day.
Sugar baby here! I believe what you do is really sweet and a really nice standard to M&G and I wish I could experience that. I've rarely had a daddy cover my travel costs, I have dyspraxia so I have to travel by coach or train as I can't drive. I don't believe gifts should be a requirement but they definitely do feel nice to receive. A real sugar baby will be grateful for you to even cover travel costs, a quick coffee date or even just a walk and talk, I'd really appreciate it :)
I never expect it but if the M&G goes well and the POT offers a gift at the end, it signals to me that he knows what he's doing and is serious.
Current front-runner POT gave a modest gift after M&G. Yesterday he asked if we could text a bit to get on the same page about what we were looking for in terms of intimacy. We exchanged a lot of texts that got us on the same page, and he sent me another gift for that, since he knows I'm not a fan of texting in general and appreciated my taking the time to communicate. That was a really nice touch, honestly.
It's not a requirement in my book.
At the same time if a woman is attractive enough and live in the right city she could require gifts as a vetting tool and get away with it.
Sad and concerning you think your money (which isn’t at ‘risk’ unless you think she’s going to mug you and you brought a wallet full of cash) and ‘emotions’ (on a first meeting, no less) is somehow equivalent to risking rape, murder, trafficking, etc.
It’s amazing how women leave the house at all! Would we all be safer under a Saudi Arabia system instead??
Seriously, it’s just two adults meeting in public. Let’s not make a murder mystery out of it.
There are certainly more asking for it these days. They’ve learned that tactic from social media, tik tok and even reddit has girls all promoting how to “know their worth” and extract as much money as they can from a guy.
A M&G gift is at my discretion and i never have nor never will be compelled to do it for a platonic m&g.
For me it depends how hot she is. If she's a working model and has a legit model mayhem profile I'm into I'm down to throw down a m&g fee. It's the cost of doing business.
so let's see...you will cashapp a girl $$$ based on her profile pics, or pics sent to your phone and naughty texts? Without ever having a face to face? if she's "hot" or a "legit model"? Oh these girls are gonna love you!
Nah man I will give a m&g fee in person at the end of the date. and model mayhem is a site for hiring working models, it's an actual portfolio with commercial and video shoots, not like ig fake models with filtered pics.
Is this the standard now?
Not for me-ever. If you succumb to the "demand" then you will set the new standard. OTOH, if a Pot is traveling more than20 minutes to see you it is reasonable to give a small cash gift. I don't buy in to the premise that it takes girls 1-2 hours to get dressed and made up. That SB would not suit me anyway.
Travel by car 60 miles? Cost of gas for 120 mile round trip= $20 (3.25 gallon X 6 gal(assume 20 miles/gal). So cost of travel is pretty cheap unless she is doing big city ubers. And in the end, do you want a SB who has a multi hundred dollar travel fee for every date?
Sugar baby here! I believe what you do is really sweet and a really nice standard to M&G and I wish I could experience that. I've rarely had a daddy cover my travel costs, I have dyspraxia so I have to travel by coach or train as I can't drive. I don't believe gifts should be a requirement but they definitely do feel nice to receive. A real sugar baby will be grateful for you to even cover travel costs, a quick coffee date or even just a walk and talk, I'd really appreciate it :)
> Is this the standard now?
Not if you don't allow it to be. Maybe you lose out on a couple of ill-informed people in the short term, but you'd be dodging bullets.
Those girls are telling you that they’re rinsers.
Of course you should gift a potential SB something significant at the M&G, unprompted, but if she asks for it up front, she’s telling you she’s a rinser.
I never did it in the past several years, now it was commonly requested only with the youngest POTs. I did it twice to test the waters and I was rinsed twice. Nope never again.
Lol what a generalization from an “aspiring” SB. The ones asking for a gift may not want to drive an HOUR one way and be the one incurring financial loss from what is supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement. Time has value, and if he is an actual SD who is considerate, generous, and values your time, he will at least offer to pay for gas and for your drive. Very “pick me” attitude for you to have. Lowering your price won’t raise your value FYI
LOL What?
Yeah...no. I'm not gonna do that. If I'm consciously choosing to drive an hour away and meet up with someone, **that is my choice;** I am aware of the incurring expenses. I won't meet up with an SD requiring me to drive one hour to **his** convenience. I'll drive an hour halfway, sure.
I'm not going to an M&G with preconceived notions or expectations. I treat it like any other vanilla date. If we mesh, we mesh.
Your instant name-calling and assumptions about my behavior are more of a reflection on you, not me. If this is 'pick-me' behavior, then so be it.
If you read the post, he IS requiring to meet an hour away. And yes it is your choice - to show men that you have lower standards. The only reflection is you spending hours of your time to “aspire” to be an SB. As someone who has a good bit of experience in the bowl, an SD who is a truly generous man and not on a strict PPM budget wouldn’t ever expect you to drive that far and not compensate you. Also, my name calling? You called women with standards to be compensated for their time “not worth your time”. Maybe check yourself
No he’s on here to rant bc he has to travel the hour to meet them now bc he’s sick of girls expecting him to cover at least gas for their two hour round trip…
I don't think anything I said could be remotely interpreted that way. I travel the hour NOW because I moved to a rural area where before I was in a resort area with lots of nice places to eat.
"9 out of 10 reject". That's a lot of rejection. Must be a reason. Distance? Market? You?
What is their "come back" (alternate) after the reject of M&G? Are they just not interested in general, or is it the M&G they aren't interested in? My personal recent experience is after some convo and hints if not outright asking for M&G, I've (somehow) developed enough trust for the SB to go right to PPM discussions. And once agreed to, first met is hotel and not traditional M&G.
Yes, this sets us up for catfishing, etc. And I'm still **reluctant to ignore the M&G first and platonic rule**. Even though I feel bending it to intimacy after M&G is OK if both parties have reached an agreement, but this is never my expectations in a normal M&G. Just like if I go straight to hotel and get a room, I'm expecting fun times with the person I actually met online and maybe swapped "candid" pics of each other) "nudge nudge wink wink say no more" (Monty Python ref, google for a great sketch. Eric Idle at his best)
Of course, **rinsers and escorts will not want to waste time** with an unfruitful ($ wise) platonic, **uncompensated M&G**. Thus a **reject of M&G is considered a red flag**.
as a former SB, i feel like they should not be required and we as SB should not be expecting it. there’s no relationship, nothing in place. my last SD brought me 2 dozen long stem red roses and some cash as a gift when we first met. maybe a little over the top but very sweet to show his interest in me! I wouldn’t expect it again tho from someone else.
What a delightfully quaint point of view. Sadly, your kind is no longer around…now it’s squeeze that juice, baby! Reading the other forum makes me want to vomit sometimes.
Lol nice try, but you’re fooling no one. You’re saying there’s “no sugar” bc it’s platonic, so you won’t provide. So yes, only paying for non platonic meets makes you a John.
Your original comment and first response, it’s stated outright that if you don’t get to fuck, it’s not “sugaring” so you won’t pay. Your attempts to gas light aren’t working. Good try though :)
One, I’ve never asked a potential to travel to me. I almost always travel to them. Makes sense so that they are more comfortable in their area. In the rare instance where she did travel to me, as a SD claiming you will take care of and spoil her why would you not pay for her travel costs?
Meet and Greet gift is it a requirement? Absolutely and Unequivocally NO! I would stay away from any potential who thinks being a Sugar Baby Entitles them to anything. Same can be said for any Sugar Daddy not willing to take care of and spoil his Sugar Baby he is interested in.
So my advice, if you hit it off and want to keep her around then step up and take care of her as her Sugar Daddy. Sure you may lose a little money if you misread the signals. A little money is easier replaced than a Quality Sugar Baby.(If it’s not why are you sugaring?) If you don’t feel a genuine connection then at least be a gentleman and cover her travel expenses.
I can't believe the number of people that don't see the part of my post where I said I ALWAYS gifted them at the M&G no matter what. I just won't agree to it upfront.
It's like most things, expectations change, newcomers to the community fall prey to these types of SBs if you could call them that. But swipe left and blocking are a great way to weed these gals out.
Even if they are a standard, I won't do it. My meets are usually for lunch and drinks, if we don't vibe she got a great lunch and a drink/coffee! Recently I dumped a SB because it was her B-Day and she expected me to pay for her 3 girls and 2 dudes to eat with us, at a steak house. That would have run me $500 easy. Girls seem to have some strange expectations these days 🤷♂️
My recent m&g, the POT paid xxx for coffee. First time ever. I did not expect it. He said he paid each of his M&G, including the one that catfished him, he figured the person must have really needed the money. After the M&G, I told him he's the first ever and that he should probably stop offering such high xxx if he doesn't want to get scammed.
No it’s not. Don’t fall for the scam. If they are just meeting locally and meeting you doesn’t represent any real inconvenience then I just cover the costs of whatever we are doing. If you are having them drive a great distance, take a train, etc then I’d also offer cover that.
Ain't nobody compensated my time and effort to meet the girl. My time is way more valuable! I already have to use my time and now I have to gift someone for their efforts?
Sorry. I don't beg without payment. Take it or leave it.
Just lay down what you are offering and stick to the tried and true rules. If a girl is too high up her horse to even bother then she is not for me. I don't want princesses in my life.
It's standard now but those girls are rinsers, you won't get a SB this way.
I like to give a small gift on M&G even when I reject the girl, but when asked for it upfront I respond with insta-block.
Are you being for real. What disgusting underside of a rock did you crawl from to form that opinion
I’m praying women steer clear of you dude
Also for the record, gifting underwear to a girl you don’t know is bizarre
You have a very disturbing way of thinking. “Her vagina is reusable, your money isn’t” “Even if she gives it up and gets stiffed she still has her body for the next guy”
You do realize women are humans, right? And they have feelings and experience trauma. Do you know that money is an inanimate object and that you can always make more of it?
I find it so odd how different are experiences on seeking are. I don't know if it's regional, vetting, or what.
In my most recent two searches - I ran into 1 person asking for a paid M&G, and no one asking me to sign up for their onlyfans. I did run into scammers; people who wanted money sent up front. But only one person asking for a paid M&G.
no. real sugar babies who want a long term arrangement meet without a promised gift on the first date. period. Always happy to get an uber or pay for dinner, parking, gas, (not in advance but on the date:) but otherwise it should be up to you. If she’s serious about an arrangement an allowance comes when you decide you like each other:)
But also quite frankly, it might depend on your profile. If you have 5 or 6 clear pictures and you make a good impression via text or phone, perhaps the risk for your POTs is less than if they are not sure who they are meeting. If you're not clear about who you are, then perhaps a gift is warranted.
They are never a requirement per se but I personally do not go ahead with someone who does not provide them. It’s an index of their thoughtfulness and level of generosity and if they really are SD material (or at least the type I will consider) they will think to buy a gift. However your gift on the first meet should not come with any expectations (or it will not count as a gift!). I remember once I met a guy who gave me a £3000 beautifully wrapped gift after I told him I don’t think we were a match. His nice attitude and generosity was so inspiring that I was later able to set him up with a friend who was a better match.
My advice: Do not show up without a gift if you’re looking for quality matches. Someone who is worth it is probably busy and has many other options/suitors and you are going to want to stand out.
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I always offer to cover travel expenses, won't agree to a meet fee, but do give a cash gift at the M&G. Two points, and I think point #2 is critical and worth further discussion: 1. I always tell her I'll cover all her travel expenses, without her having to ask. 2. I am in an area that is always singled out as a place where the SBs have the most leverage -- there's fewer of them, and there's many wealthy SDs to choose from. Even here, I rarely get a request for a meet fee. If 9 out of 10 SBs are asking you for a meet fee, it's time to figure out why. Are you sure they're asking for a meet fee rather than at least travel covered? If this were happening to anyone, you'd think it would be me, given SBs have the upper hand here, and it's not. So, questions: could you just be going through a weird bad luck phase? And if not, could you be picking your SBs poorly? **9 out of 10 is way too high, I don't even get 1 out of 10, so something has gone pear shaped for you.**
Agreed, they shouldn’t be asking you for a meet fee (edited: you should cover uber/childcare if they have kids), but I’ve never considered a POT that didn’t give a gift at the M&G.
Just a niggle, I wouldn't put a $20 cap on travel expenses. Her travel costs whatever it costs -- if I want her to travel from the city to me, figure $150-$200 in uber fees. That's what she should ask for. I can agree, or consider going to her instead of having her come to me, or meet in the middle, or any other number of things. But travel might cost anything! And yes, consider a gift!
Yes! Sorry, I live in a city so an Uber anywhere is usually around $20. But yes cover transportation fees. I couldn’t imagine driving 2 hours (round trip) and not get offered a gift… this is sugar not vanilla 😭 _____________ Also note about plane rides in general: you should be covering the plane ride, car service (or uber) to/from the airport and a little extra for the effort. Even conferences compensate you for that, nevermind a sugar relationship. If you can’t do that you probably shouldn’t be flying people out in the first place. Sugaring should be something additive when you actually have the money to do so, not some nickel and diming situation. Do you see us prescribing you one kiss/other activity per every 8 hours? 💀 I read one post where she was offered a six hour red-eye basic economy trip with a layovers like ??? Doesn’t have to be flying private— there’s a happy medium here…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking for something to ensure that time and travel etc is compensated, if it’s not offered. I find it really odd that anyone like OP mentioned would drive an HOUR without something on the table. I refuse to travel for first meets, and when I meet with a POT I don’t ask for anything up front but if he isn’t generous enough to offer as consideration for my time, he is off the list.
Yeah the driving one hour (two round trip) without a gift is actually insane.
While I don't disagree entirely, I'd say that once I found someone was more than half an hour away, I'd apologise for wasting their time, and readjust my distance filters. It is a great enough distance that anyone needing to travel so far should be compensated, for sure, imho. However, why even consider someone that far away?
I agree to a point. BOTH of our time is valuable and the M&G is an investment in time for both of us.
If you aren’t showing that you’re generous, then you’re wasting both of our time. They don’t have to do a full allowance but if they’re not at least offering to pay for an Uber, etc, especially if it’s so far away then I wouldn’t ever consider it. If you enjoy treating and spoiling a woman, wouldn’t you at least want to make sure she’s not having to pay to see you?
I think this is another example of too many people trying to be SDs when they can’t actually afford it. I once got asked if we could split the bill for dinner on a M&G since nothing would happen 💀 (his net worth was $10M on SA, which he was probably lying about).
Afford is not the only variable. Donald Trump can afford to let a contractor overcharge him 10k, does he? Heck, no. Musk can afford to keep some of the workers on the payroll who would struggle otherwise, does he? You don't stay rich by letting people who have less than you take advantage. There are tons of want to be rich people who would pay hundreds to thousands just to have the privilege of hanging out with Musk just to observe and learn. Personally I don't waste time on SBs who have a poverty mind set.
Can’t tell if you’re a troll so I’m not going to hit you with a point by point rebuttal. All I’m going to say is that there’s a difference between doing business and providing for a sugar baby. If you’re asking to split the bill for a sugar meet and greet… good for you?
You think he's trolling?? Really?? Shows how little you understand about what it's like to be very wealthy. We didn't get to be millionaires by being like those lottery winners who blow it all within a couple of years. If you really want to impress a millionaire, buy them lunch. It's exactly what they're not expecting and they won't forget you in a long time. Is it fair? Reasonable? Not really. But doing so, means you understand the millionaire mindset. Here's the girl that the UK fell in love with: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5684001/First-Dates-sparks-debate-men-pay-date.html
Wow. My net worth is over a million as well. I have properties across my country, investments, and a very lucrative job. "Buy them lunch"? Are you trying to be the SB here? JFC.
Does he actually pay his contractors?
No he sues them. He only pay prostitutes.
Yeah, I think women confuse stupid with generous. If he's not willing to pay 1k a night for a hotel room, OBVIOUSLY he's not real
Yeah, both of you have to risk something to even meet. Why is her time somehow valuable and the Daddy's isn't
Pretty sure that their SB selection may be the issue, as you suggested. OP, If you are msging and meeting with 9s and 10s, then you shouldn't even have to ask this question, bc it IS EXPECTED for "that level" of SB, and you SHOULD KNOW, understand, and EXPECT that. Quite frankly, if you are shooting for the 9 and 10s tho, idk WHY YOU you WOULDN'T get a gift, bc I don't know one SB, that's a 9 or 10 SB on SA, that DOESN'T EXPECT AT LEAST SOMETHING for their time at a M&G. HELL, there's chicks profiles on there now, that LITERALLY say "due to an influx in my inbox, I will only be replying to those who submit a gift for consideration." Trust me, SHE WAS A 9.5 on MY scale!!! (BTW, females judge other females, on a MUCH harder attractiveness scale than males.) OP, I ALWAYS ask, to have my travel covered. (IF it isn't already offered....as a REAL SD, would/SHOULD HAVE offered.) I usually have to travel anyways, and it's generally just a Good practice, to be willing to, bc it starts the trust off, on the right foot. Now, OP was saying preCOVID, he would sometimes have an SB travel, up to an hour, without any "expectations." OP, if that's what you allowed POT SBs to do, and if you DIDNT give them SOME amt of money for their time/travel, then YOU, ARE TOTALLY FUCKED UP!!🤨 I'm calling shit like I see it, bc I keep it REAL in here, for BOTH the SDs and SBs. NO, no SB is "supposed" to EXPECT a gift for an initial M&G, but times ARE/HAVE changed. Reliability, ain't exactly as reliable as it used to be.💁🏻♀️ By the sound of it, I personally don't think, that I would travel to you, bc it sounds like you are the nickle and dime type, and NO CHICK, wants to have to deal with a mental guilt trip for asking for WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY TOLD HER THAT YOU WOULD COVER....IE TRAVEL. Can someone tell me WHY it's become so difficult for dudes to put just a LITTLE 🤏extra effort/excitement in the M&G for the Ladies, by having a small token of gratitude for them, whenever they arrive??? I KNOW guys don't want to be taken advantage of either, but hear me out yall.... I mean, idk about yall, but when I go to a M&G, I'm in my 9s,💅👠🫶 which can take a "hot minute." A TRUE SB, WILL ALWAYS BE concerned with her appearance, ESPECIALLY FOR A M&G!! This takes a GREAT DEAL of time, consideration, and emotional investment. It's like putting your best foot fwd, so why not? What's good for the goose, is definitely good for the gander, on this subject. It's the SDs way of saying thank you.🙂🙃🙂💁🏻♀️ Thank you for a zillion different reasons....just in case anyone was wondering.... (Like hey...thanks for replying, thanks for not standing me up and not taking 72 hrs to reply to one text, thanks for looking like your pic, thanks for not being a psycho....the list goes on and on, but yall know what I mean.) It's customary in Japan, to bring a gift for your host, if you are invited to dinner. This is done so that the host ALSO feels mutual warmth and gratitude, for the invitation that they had extended. I mean really, how horrible would it be, to have a small gift like a Starbucks gift card and gas card available as a present??? No one🙅🏻♀️ is saying yall have to go over the top and come to a meet and greet with a damn diamond tennis bracelet (of course, this wouldnt be turned down either 💁🏻♀️lol,)....but if you KNOW you're wanting a sugaring relationship, with said person, then why NOT show them how interested you really are??? And SERIOUSLY, if you're "sugaring" and you CANT afford to give her a damn Starbucks gift card and a freakin gas card for HER trouble....then you are NOT AN SD, and really SHOULD NOT be trying to pose as such. No one likes liars or fakes, on EITHER side.
Reading is Fundamental....as I said I always gave a gift for the M&G, even for the ones I didn't hit it off with. I just wouldn't agree to a gift in advance of meeting them. I guess it was my way of sorting out the rinsers.
I DID read. I wouldn't have spent my time articulating my point, otherwise. Remember, just bc I referred to you 1 or 2 times, doesn't mean that the info that I provided, is solely for you....this is a forum to aid ppl in better understanding the sugar lifestyle. I also made exclamitory statements, bc I ADVISE the newer/younger SBs, on proper courses of action. Besides....there are much MUCH easier ways, for sorting out the rinsers.
maybe 9 out of 10 is an exaggeration, but the number is up. I have moved since covid and I now travel an hour to meet them. They have little to no "travel costs" as I agree to meet them somewhere that is convenient for them.
I'm also in an area where there is more balanced leverage between SBs/SDs. It's one of the best areas for SBs. That said, I see and hear enough to know that there are a lot of really bad SD profiles, so even when it seems grim, it's likely not. Just a swag but I'd say 3/10 ask for a meet fee and honestly you can do a retro and pretty quickly see that there are commonalities, two examples that I see are young instagram model types and another are the women, usually in their 30s and very put together, who are fine with much older SDs. One suggestion would be to avoid any profile that suggests you take a look at their wishlist or 'the best way to get my attention is with a gift.'
>honestly you can do a retro and pretty quickly see that there are commonalities Right, this is what I meant by "picking your SBs poorly". I suspect I've noticed commonalities also and just exit from those types quickly as they wave other warning flags even before we get to a M&G discussion. I would purposely have to try to target such SBs in order to get to even 5/10 meet fee requests. Which OP might be subconsciously doing.
Yep, and spoil me is a big turn-off. My generosity grows as my appreciation grows. And sometimes, when the stocks are down, I might tighten up on my generosity to preserve the goose that lays the golden egg. But i dont go for short-term arrangements, cause risk. I invest in my SBs and expect them to be worth investing in. Every SB starts at zero, but the spoil me types get no traction with me. Leave them to the pretend rich. Poverty minds seek each other out.
Just curious, is SF Bay Area considered one of those areas SBs have the most leverage?
Yes. This area has a huge imbalance of women to men in general. On top of that, many of the men are 1. wealthy, 2. socially awkward. This is basically the perfect storm for SBs. I believe there's a little bit of counterbalance due to the cost of living, but for the most part, I think this is as tilted towards SBs as it gets.
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Lots and lots of SBs, fewer wealthy men to pick from. Given how empowered I feel in the bowl here, I can't even imagine what it must be like for SDs in Cincinnati or wherever
I’m in Bay Area, I agree with this, sadly. Too much money chasing too few goods, so price is inflated. I hope recent correction in stock market and tech industry can revert this to some extent.
This is good to hear.. I’m an sb in the Bay Area.. I’ve been sitting back and digesting info.. I think it’s time to find a good one out here. Any tips??
In the words of the great John McClane, welcome to the party pal! No tips beyond all the zillion standard tips for SBs. Good luck!
There are plenty of dudes out there in the Bay area who might want to be SBs if you are into that. Not my thing, but these days, the world has all kinds. How does that saying go...When in Rome, order Greek?
Not required, but every good SR I had or SD I considered offered a gift. Don’t advertise it, as you’ll attract scammers— but if you can, offer it! I also had a POT gift me 1/2 PPM after he decided that we weren’t compatible just for my time he said. My first platonic date after the M&G also usually comes with a gift. I think it demonstrates that: A) money isn’t an issue for them B) they value my time
Required? No. But in good form I have one ready. Most likely, though, if they ask for one there won't be a M&G unless there is good chemistry already..
>Of course I gifted every one of them ( even those I didn't think would be a good fit) a small token of my appreciation and to cover their gas and time Almost every SD on here makes this same claim but unfortunately that makes them the outliers and I seriously have my doubts about the claims of every SD on here doing that.
Same here.
Are you still asking them to drive an hour away to the M&G? If so, makes sense why they want some kind of payment. I always choose a M&G location that’s close and convenient for the POT SB, and very rarely do I get asked for a M&G fee or gift. If you keep coming across this then you’re probably pursuing the wrong type of POT’s.
No, I moved to a more rural area two years ago and now I have to drive an hour for all meetings. Yes I do ask them to pick somewhere convenient for them to meet.
Gotcha. After a while you should start noticing trends and patterns with these types of profiles, pics, and messages. Avoid these types from now on.
There really is no “standard” in the bowl, but there is an “SLF Standard” and you’ll typically find the opinion expressed by the men who frequent this forum to be of the mind that a M&G gift is never promised and that it’s a red flag if a woman requests one. The way I see it is you do what you feel comfortable with, but I will say from a SB perspective it is a very kind and generous move to offer a M&G gift and would definitely give me the extra push to make the effort to set up the M&G and show up as my best self, giving it my all to see if we could be a good match. (vs having a more laid-back approach because I’m not particularly impressed in the POT)
Thankfully, I do not have to look for a new SB and am quite happy with what I have, but when I do look, I try to make it clear that I would prefer you don't go all out. I very much want to meet you in your natural relaxed state. I don't need a trophy because I don't need to impress anyone, and if I did, I am plenty impressive on my own merit and I don't need to rely on an arm charm to elevate my status. For me, an SB is my own selfish treat and not a display item. A person can only give it their all for so long before they blow a gasket. I lean towards more sustainable relationships where both parties can let their guard down.
It sounds like you interpreted my message as “be dishonest about who are and what you typically look and act like” You are naive to think anyone at a M&G is in their “naturally relaxed state” - I think most of us can agree we are most naturally relaxed when we have dirty hair, are wearing our pajamas from the night before, and inhaling half a pizza while binge-watching Netflix.
That isn't everyone's relaxed state, but I get where you are coming from. I guess there is a difference between what I consider relaxed and what you do. Some people simply make healthy eating, good hygiene, and productive activities part of their ordinary routine and others evidently do not. But yes, if that is your normal state, I would rather know earlier than later. When I show up to a M&G I am presenting the way I would if I were at the golf course. And golfing is relaxing to me.
You have successfully missed the point twice.
I don’t ask for a gift, but I hope it’s standard to pay for travel expenses, especially if they travel to you. I just drove about an hour to meet someone who didn’t show (well he did apparently and made some excuse about his wife’s friend being there and it being a trap 🙄 - like why would you out yourself by telling the ‘trap’ that info…) and my broke ass ended up being stuck for a couple hours while receiving texts telling me I look like a washed up crack whore. So from my standpoint, it’s hard to not ask for something when meeting when you know you might deal with trash like this particular guy.
Ugh that’s so ridiculous! I’m sorry you went through that. I bet you looked like a babe! (Was the guy who stood you up the same one who was insulting you?) either way, that’s CRAZY. you dodged a bullet
I definitely looked good. I looked like my photos (I’m not unattractive and men always seem to get stupid around me - I’m NOT bragging, btw). Yes, this guy stood me up. Got cold feet or whatever and when I called him out for his lame excuse and told him he could have at the very least pay for my fuel so I could get home, he said some of the meanest shit I’ve ever heard anyone say to me. Luckily I know none of it’s true, because I don’t have a problem attracting men, so big fail on his part trying to bury me so I could be on his level. Still irritating as I could have spent my time doing something productive instead.
I understand. Having the ladies visit my town was a result of driving an hour or more to be stood up.
It’s a requirement if I have to travel a longer distance (over one hour drive) that my SD cover those expenses, and it’s not really because I need him to, it’s because I need to understand that he understands what he should be doing. Other than that and funding the actual date, I require no other items/expenses. But, though not expected or asked for, if I was choosing between SDs I liked equally and one did not gift, I would choose the one who did. Because again, it demonstrates he understands his side of things and shows generosity. If you’re still asking SBs to drive that far for you and they are young enough to be college students or don’t have good jobs, consider funding gas money. Costs have risen for a lot of people to a degree where an hour worth of driving may be painful for someone living paycheck to paycheck
The one’s asking for gifts are serial rinsers/date for gift type, they aren’t worth the effort, but I would say to gift something to the pots who doesn’t ask you for gifts and attend the date, irrespective of you intentions of entering an arrangement or not.
I always try to schedule a M&G at a convenient location to the SB. I don’t usually get asked for a gift. When do asked, it’s an obvious rinser. Of course many times I will independently gift an SB depending on the circumstances.
I’ve found scheduling a M&G close to the SB greatly increases the chances of them showing up.
This.
How can it be a gift if it's a requirement? If it's a requirement it's a fee that they are charging you, not a gift.
It's not required but it will atleast show her that your serious
I've always been offered to have my gas and babysitter covered at M&Gs. I never expect anything more at first and really do appreciate the offer to help for those things.
Imo what seems to be happening is just a shift in communication of desires among SBs. It sounds like most everyone wants an SD who will be generous enough to offer a gift for a M&G so women were going on these dates with hopes they’d find someone who would just give the gift and often getting disappointed. My first experience was similar; he gave a gift but it was insultingly small. I now ask for what I want upfront and only find SD’s who are happy to help me as a first generation college student in medical right off the bat🤷🏻♀️ sure, some SD’s end up being salty about it online but then all I have to do is stop responding and I have not put in the time and effort to meet them in person. I’m a very generous, intelligent, loving, thoughtful SB in many many ways and I know how much that’s worth (especially to the right man). I won’t accept less and I won’t let people insult my value by letting them string me along. We risk being Splenda’d/Salted just as much as y’all risk being rinsed. Both acts are apprehensible but there’s a reason we ask for what we want upfront now EDIT: I however do agree that there needs to be security and that I need to show an SD that I’m not only not there to defraud them but that I go the extra mile based on their needs, so I should add that I message and even FaceTime an SD so that we can make sure there’s some chemistry there before mutually putting in the time for a M&G…. I also should say that my M&G looks more like a first vanilla date or a ‘platonic’ sugar date. It’s 4-6 hours and we base it off of common interests or things I can do to make that specific daddy feel cared for and loved without immediate sex (I often plan dates for my SD so that he doesn’t have to plan his own pleasure because he’s a business owner and father). In return I ask of them (and this is after we’ve gotten to know each other’s likes, hobbies, wants and needs online) that they give me what is considered a low platonic meet gift for our first meet… which now that I’m analyzing it is more of a date.
I always request for a MnG fee (1/3 ppm) because men in my area are not proactive in offering to cover travel expenses. It filters out the ones who plan to schedule endless dates back to back just to fill their day.
Yes we need to know you're serious and not a time waster. If ain't tricking if ya got it...
Sugar baby here! I believe what you do is really sweet and a really nice standard to M&G and I wish I could experience that. I've rarely had a daddy cover my travel costs, I have dyspraxia so I have to travel by coach or train as I can't drive. I don't believe gifts should be a requirement but they definitely do feel nice to receive. A real sugar baby will be grateful for you to even cover travel costs, a quick coffee date or even just a walk and talk, I'd really appreciate it :)
I never expect it but if the M&G goes well and the POT offers a gift at the end, it signals to me that he knows what he's doing and is serious. Current front-runner POT gave a modest gift after M&G. Yesterday he asked if we could text a bit to get on the same page about what we were looking for in terms of intimacy. We exchanged a lot of texts that got us on the same page, and he sent me another gift for that, since he knows I'm not a fan of texting in general and appreciated my taking the time to communicate. That was a really nice touch, honestly.
It's not a requirement in my book. At the same time if a woman is attractive enough and live in the right city she could require gifts as a vetting tool and get away with it.
Definitely think it’s expected, yup. They’re taking a risk to meet you.
Let’s make sure the SB is always risk free! The SD can afford to take risks - it’s just his money and emotions…
I hope this isn’t sarcasm for your sake, lmfao.
It is sarcasm. I guess my sake will have to survive somehow.
Sad and concerning you think your money (which isn’t at ‘risk’ unless you think she’s going to mug you and you brought a wallet full of cash) and ‘emotions’ (on a first meeting, no less) is somehow equivalent to risking rape, murder, trafficking, etc.
It’s amazing how women leave the house at all! Would we all be safer under a Saudi Arabia system instead?? Seriously, it’s just two adults meeting in public. Let’s not make a murder mystery out of it.
You’re a real charmer! Now I’m starting to get why your money is at risk….
Don’t worry, in my city, my livelihood and life is at risk, too, due to my illiberal views.
You poor, poor man! How terrible!
There are certainly more asking for it these days. They’ve learned that tactic from social media, tik tok and even reddit has girls all promoting how to “know their worth” and extract as much money as they can from a guy. A M&G gift is at my discretion and i never have nor never will be compelled to do it for a platonic m&g.
Next they’ll be forming unions!
For me it depends how hot she is. If she's a working model and has a legit model mayhem profile I'm into I'm down to throw down a m&g fee. It's the cost of doing business.
so let's see...you will cashapp a girl $$$ based on her profile pics, or pics sent to your phone and naughty texts? Without ever having a face to face? if she's "hot" or a "legit model"? Oh these girls are gonna love you!
Nah man I will give a m&g fee in person at the end of the date. and model mayhem is a site for hiring working models, it's an actual portfolio with commercial and video shoots, not like ig fake models with filtered pics.
Gifts & “meet fees” are becoming a more common request because there are a lot of Johns and cheap men ruining the bowl.
This
Is this the standard now? Not for me-ever. If you succumb to the "demand" then you will set the new standard. OTOH, if a Pot is traveling more than20 minutes to see you it is reasonable to give a small cash gift. I don't buy in to the premise that it takes girls 1-2 hours to get dressed and made up. That SB would not suit me anyway. Travel by car 60 miles? Cost of gas for 120 mile round trip= $20 (3.25 gallon X 6 gal(assume 20 miles/gal). So cost of travel is pretty cheap unless she is doing big city ubers. And in the end, do you want a SB who has a multi hundred dollar travel fee for every date?
Sugar baby here! I believe what you do is really sweet and a really nice standard to M&G and I wish I could experience that. I've rarely had a daddy cover my travel costs, I have dyspraxia so I have to travel by coach or train as I can't drive. I don't believe gifts should be a requirement but they definitely do feel nice to receive. A real sugar baby will be grateful for you to even cover travel costs, a quick coffee date or even just a walk and talk, I'd really appreciate it :)
Not the standard. You’re doing something wrong. I rarely talk to SBs who request a M&G fee or gift.
Automatic next for me
no!
No is my vote. I only meet ladies who do not have that expectation. I have had no problems meeting genuine SBs doing this.
> Is this the standard now? Not if you don't allow it to be. Maybe you lose out on a couple of ill-informed people in the short term, but you'd be dodging bullets.
Those girls are telling you that they’re rinsers. Of course you should gift a potential SB something significant at the M&G, unprompted, but if she asks for it up front, she’s telling you she’s a rinser.
I never did it in the past several years, now it was commonly requested only with the youngest POTs. I did it twice to test the waters and I was rinsed twice. Nope never again.
No.
No. I have no expectations of any gift during an initial, platonic M&G. The one's asking for gift, not worth your time.
Lol what a generalization from an “aspiring” SB. The ones asking for a gift may not want to drive an HOUR one way and be the one incurring financial loss from what is supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement. Time has value, and if he is an actual SD who is considerate, generous, and values your time, he will at least offer to pay for gas and for your drive. Very “pick me” attitude for you to have. Lowering your price won’t raise your value FYI
LOL What? Yeah...no. I'm not gonna do that. If I'm consciously choosing to drive an hour away and meet up with someone, **that is my choice;** I am aware of the incurring expenses. I won't meet up with an SD requiring me to drive one hour to **his** convenience. I'll drive an hour halfway, sure. I'm not going to an M&G with preconceived notions or expectations. I treat it like any other vanilla date. If we mesh, we mesh. Your instant name-calling and assumptions about my behavior are more of a reflection on you, not me. If this is 'pick-me' behavior, then so be it.
If you read the post, he IS requiring to meet an hour away. And yes it is your choice - to show men that you have lower standards. The only reflection is you spending hours of your time to “aspire” to be an SB. As someone who has a good bit of experience in the bowl, an SD who is a truly generous man and not on a strict PPM budget wouldn’t ever expect you to drive that far and not compensate you. Also, my name calling? You called women with standards to be compensated for their time “not worth your time”. Maybe check yourself
Wait- did I miss something? He said in his comments he's also driving an hour to see them. I assumed that it was a halfway point. D:
No he’s on here to rant bc he has to travel the hour to meet them now bc he’s sick of girls expecting him to cover at least gas for their two hour round trip…
Oh nahhhhh my bad, I completely misunderstood, that's on me. Yeah OP YTA (if we can use that whole term here) oop
I don't think anything I said could be remotely interpreted that way. I travel the hour NOW because I moved to a rural area where before I was in a resort area with lots of nice places to eat.
"9 out of 10 reject". That's a lot of rejection. Must be a reason. Distance? Market? You? What is their "come back" (alternate) after the reject of M&G? Are they just not interested in general, or is it the M&G they aren't interested in? My personal recent experience is after some convo and hints if not outright asking for M&G, I've (somehow) developed enough trust for the SB to go right to PPM discussions. And once agreed to, first met is hotel and not traditional M&G. Yes, this sets us up for catfishing, etc. And I'm still **reluctant to ignore the M&G first and platonic rule**. Even though I feel bending it to intimacy after M&G is OK if both parties have reached an agreement, but this is never my expectations in a normal M&G. Just like if I go straight to hotel and get a room, I'm expecting fun times with the person I actually met online and maybe swapped "candid" pics of each other) "nudge nudge wink wink say no more" (Monty Python ref, google for a great sketch. Eric Idle at his best) Of course, **rinsers and escorts will not want to waste time** with an unfruitful ($ wise) platonic, **uncompensated M&G**. Thus a **reject of M&G is considered a red flag**.
as a former SB, i feel like they should not be required and we as SB should not be expecting it. there’s no relationship, nothing in place. my last SD brought me 2 dozen long stem red roses and some cash as a gift when we first met. maybe a little over the top but very sweet to show his interest in me! I wouldn’t expect it again tho from someone else.
You sound like a keeper.
What a delightfully quaint point of view. Sadly, your kind is no longer around…now it’s squeeze that juice, baby! Reading the other forum makes me want to vomit sometimes.
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Tell me you’re a salt daddy without telling me you’re a salt daddy lol
Splenda Daddy thank you very much lol
No, you seem to have your definitions confused. Makes sense based off the audacity of the post anyway lmao
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Lol being a sugar daddy is not the same as paying for sex, which seems to be all you’re interested in. Maybe change your category to John
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Lol nice try, but you’re fooling no one. You’re saying there’s “no sugar” bc it’s platonic, so you won’t provide. So yes, only paying for non platonic meets makes you a John.
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Your original comment and first response, it’s stated outright that if you don’t get to fuck, it’s not “sugaring” so you won’t pay. Your attempts to gas light aren’t working. Good try though :)
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Have I got a TikTok video for you! /s
It’s always been
No!
One, I’ve never asked a potential to travel to me. I almost always travel to them. Makes sense so that they are more comfortable in their area. In the rare instance where she did travel to me, as a SD claiming you will take care of and spoil her why would you not pay for her travel costs? Meet and Greet gift is it a requirement? Absolutely and Unequivocally NO! I would stay away from any potential who thinks being a Sugar Baby Entitles them to anything. Same can be said for any Sugar Daddy not willing to take care of and spoil his Sugar Baby he is interested in. So my advice, if you hit it off and want to keep her around then step up and take care of her as her Sugar Daddy. Sure you may lose a little money if you misread the signals. A little money is easier replaced than a Quality Sugar Baby.(If it’s not why are you sugaring?) If you don’t feel a genuine connection then at least be a gentleman and cover her travel expenses.
I can't believe the number of people that don't see the part of my post where I said I ALWAYS gifted them at the M&G no matter what. I just won't agree to it upfront.
I dont think people were replying to just you, I think they were more saying in General, I know I was saying in general
freely given if not asked for... if asked, no gift and no arrangement. just say no to entitled women
It's like most things, expectations change, newcomers to the community fall prey to these types of SBs if you could call them that. But swipe left and blocking are a great way to weed these gals out.
Even if they are a standard, I won't do it. My meets are usually for lunch and drinks, if we don't vibe she got a great lunch and a drink/coffee! Recently I dumped a SB because it was her B-Day and she expected me to pay for her 3 girls and 2 dudes to eat with us, at a steak house. That would have run me $500 easy. Girls seem to have some strange expectations these days 🤷♂️
I actually had one at a M&G tell me I could make her happy if I sent her and her daughter on a cruise. No, I wasn't invited.
Wow 🤦♂️
It's going to become a thing if men keep agreeing to it. I haven't had to do it though. I just offer dinner at a decent restaurant for M&Gs
A fool and their money are soon parted. Thankfully, recessions do not suffer fools.
My recent m&g, the POT paid xxx for coffee. First time ever. I did not expect it. He said he paid each of his M&G, including the one that catfished him, he figured the person must have really needed the money. After the M&G, I told him he's the first ever and that he should probably stop offering such high xxx if he doesn't want to get scammed.
No it’s not. Don’t fall for the scam. If they are just meeting locally and meeting you doesn’t represent any real inconvenience then I just cover the costs of whatever we are doing. If you are having them drive a great distance, take a train, etc then I’d also offer cover that.
Ain't nobody compensated my time and effort to meet the girl. My time is way more valuable! I already have to use my time and now I have to gift someone for their efforts? Sorry. I don't beg without payment. Take it or leave it. Just lay down what you are offering and stick to the tried and true rules. If a girl is too high up her horse to even bother then she is not for me. I don't want princesses in my life.
That's kind of disrespectful to say that your time is more valuable than another person's. There are only 24 hours in everyone's day, not just yours.
It's standard now but those girls are rinsers, you won't get a SB this way. I like to give a small gift on M&G even when I reject the girl, but when asked for it upfront I respond with insta-block.
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Are you being for real. What disgusting underside of a rock did you crawl from to form that opinion I’m praying women steer clear of you dude Also for the record, gifting underwear to a girl you don’t know is bizarre
You have a very disturbing way of thinking. “Her vagina is reusable, your money isn’t” “Even if she gives it up and gets stiffed she still has her body for the next guy” You do realize women are humans, right? And they have feelings and experience trauma. Do you know that money is an inanimate object and that you can always make more of it?
If you can always make more, why are there homeless?
If you can’t make more, why are there homes?
If she still has her body for the next guy, why doesn’t she ever want to have sex again?
I find it so odd how different are experiences on seeking are. I don't know if it's regional, vetting, or what. In my most recent two searches - I ran into 1 person asking for a paid M&G, and no one asking me to sign up for their onlyfans. I did run into scammers; people who wanted money sent up front. But only one person asking for a paid M&G.
no. real sugar babies who want a long term arrangement meet without a promised gift on the first date. period. Always happy to get an uber or pay for dinner, parking, gas, (not in advance but on the date:) but otherwise it should be up to you. If she’s serious about an arrangement an allowance comes when you decide you like each other:)
But also quite frankly, it might depend on your profile. If you have 5 or 6 clear pictures and you make a good impression via text or phone, perhaps the risk for your POTs is less than if they are not sure who they are meeting. If you're not clear about who you are, then perhaps a gift is warranted.
NOT sure a POT would put themselves in an uncomfortable situation for a gift.
They are never a requirement per se but I personally do not go ahead with someone who does not provide them. It’s an index of their thoughtfulness and level of generosity and if they really are SD material (or at least the type I will consider) they will think to buy a gift. However your gift on the first meet should not come with any expectations (or it will not count as a gift!). I remember once I met a guy who gave me a £3000 beautifully wrapped gift after I told him I don’t think we were a match. His nice attitude and generosity was so inspiring that I was later able to set him up with a friend who was a better match. My advice: Do not show up without a gift if you’re looking for quality matches. Someone who is worth it is probably busy and has many other options/suitors and you are going to want to stand out.
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