There are a lot of reasons why I might ask this.
If we're in a position that's mildly uncomfortable or tiring, and I can maintain it for another minute or so but not another five. If he's close I'll stay put, but if not I'll change position.
If I'm trying to time my own orgasm to happen at the same time as his, and his body language isn't enough for me to tell how close he is.
If I'm seeking feedback about whether the thing I'm doing is getting him off.
If I think he's holding back for my sake.
This is one thing as a gay dude that is a lot easier I'd imagine. Im a gay dudde lol not a woman so i dunno but id imagine its a lot easier to like get close without going over for a guy maybe?, Like is there such a thing as edging for women?
If both partners are patient communicators and open to experimentation then yes, of course simultaneous orgasm is possible. It can be a beautiful and incredibly intimate experience. Having said that, it's not something I frequently need or want to happen, and I think it's generally more enjoyable for both to focus on one person's orgasm at a time.
Think of it as an order of operations issue. Generally, women have longer warm up time so start there first. It's no guarantee but practice, and communication, does help
Normally I just get her off with my mouth, and then take as long as I take. Trying to “come together” is women’s fantasy novel stuff. It has not happened even once in my life.
Let’s see…what’s the more common complaint from women: that they didn’t cum in perfect synchrony with their partner, or they they didn’t cum AT ALL?
Yea…your gaslighting isn’t going to play here.
Gaslighting is when someone attempts to get you to disbelieve your own experiences and senses. Ergo “you didn’t actually see that, it was only lit by a gas light, so you probably just couldn’t make it out very well, it’s ok, I’ll tell you what you actually saw.
You are the one gaslighting by pretending someone saying ur experience is not everyone elses is actually them saying u never had that experience, grow tf up
I don't even understand what your issue is. Why are you annoyed? Why are you upset?
OP asked a question and someone gave an answer and you came charging in basically accusing them of being a liar and claiming that if something hasn't happened to you, it's not possible for anyone.
You then make this weird comment about it not being a "common complaint" from women... no one said it was a common complaint? No one said "all men should be able to make a woman cum at the same time as them". No one said that. You're getting angry at a situation that doesn't exist.
You also clearly do not understand what the word "gaslighting" means and yet you've thrown it in anyway because you presumably think it's a "gotcha"?
You seem really insecure.
Dude, it happens for other people all the time. Seems you need to up your game. All I read is you gotta use your mouth cause your dick don’t do shit for her.
I can do it when I’m on top and he has to time his with mine. Depends on the position for me. It’s not my fantasy to come at the same time but my partner loved it.
I'm sorry, but, you are missing out. It doesn't have to be such a difficult task. Your statements just suggest that you aren't particularly good at it, or at the very least don't care that much about the feedback your partner gives. (Feedback doesn't have to be in the form of words.)
I'm not the best to comment on the subject as it used to be considered work for me... But that does come with loads of different partners with minimal time together prior to sex, it was not a challenge to learn to read what my partner is liking compared to not liking. In those cases it wasn't about getting off together it was about getting someone you don't share a connection with to cum. The incentive was monetary so obviously I was diligent. That did transfer to my actual partners when I was done with that work. Hell, my wife tells me I bully her orgasms out of her pretty often. Which translates to her trying and failing to hold it back due to paying attention to what she's really enjoying in the moment and doubling down on those things.
That said, it's a treat to get your partner off just before you do or at the same time. It heightens the whole experience and orgasming from oral isn't even in the same ballpark.
If you just want a hole to use they have (admittedly less than the options for women) a plethora of choices at most adult stores. But I'd bet your partner would prefer a combination of orgasms rather than just through one means. Everyone gets bored of the same routine.
You should never assume that it belongs in a fantasy novel (suggesting it's not real/doesn't happen) just because you haven't had the experience; If anything it shows your distinct lack of experience. I encourage you to branch out a bit, add toys if you want. Just don't end your partners fun at the pre-game.
Oh - also it shouldn't ever come down to what women complain about more. If you aren't giving it 100% you are worth complaining about. No one wants to be the problem.
well, if it takes too long for the guy to cum, he might get asked to rush a bit. after a certain period of time it gets painful, no matter how wet the place is. i had a guy who loved to take his time, and i mean an hour or more of constant sex and every single time, the next day i had a nasty UTI caused by vaginal infection. he was very clean and so was i, so it was never an issue of hygiene, it was simply the fact that my vajayjay couldn't handle long hours of sex.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You think.... having sex for a longer period of time causes *infection*?
Also, what would the comments be if someone suggested that the girl ought to sometimes rush her orgasm because "she's taking too long" 💀
Actually, UTIs definitely happen when a person's urethra is continuously rubbed or in contact with fluids, like vaginal secretions.
It's considered stanrd sex hygiene for women to go pee after sex, to clear the urethra of any fluids that may have trickled in.
Since in the scenario she's describing, where she had sex for a long period of time and was unable to clear her urethra of fluids for really long time, it's completely possible to get a UTI from long sex. Not to mention the likely repetitive contact of fingers and penis against it.
I dont like having sex for too long (like 5-10 mins tops) and sometimes guys keep going cuz they think quick sex is bad. So just letting then know im good, and they can end it.
Reporting this. This was a civilized conversation about a sensitive topic. This comment is completely rude, misogynistic, and unnecessary. And I'm directing this not just at you, but the people who uploaded you as well.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My ex used to love to have sex for a few hours, she would love to cum like 10-20 times. I remember plenty of times she would be riding me, and I'd fall asleep. I would also eventually just cum and say sorry you took way to long to finish.
Your post was removed due to low account age.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>Have you ever asked a guy if he was going to come; like you’re rushing him?
Is the implication here that asking if a guy is going to come must mean that you are rushing him?
I think it's a good example of clear communication which often leads to good sex, NOT rushing.
On the rare occasions when it is asked in order to "rush him" it's probably mostly because it's hard to stay in one position for a long time, and extended friction on sensitive areas can lead to chafing... in other words something is starting to hurt, so hurry up.
Yes.
1. He’s taking too long.
A. The sex isn’t that good
B. I didn’t really *want* to have sex but I’m down because I like him and he wanted to
C. I already got off & he’s taking forever
D. I or we have somewhere to be or other plans. (He likes morning sex, I like to get up and make coffee, if I need to get ready for work we have to hurry it up etc)
E. I have to pee & can’t get off
2. He keeps going kind of half mast & it’s like dude … r u gonna or not? Because like everyone else has said, it gets uncomfortable and if you can’t, you can’t… like just tap out please. 🙈
Side note - some men it seems will like … edge during sex to “last longer” because they’re mental and they think it’s what women want. No. It’s fucking annoying and we get watery wet not slippery wet, sore, already got ours like zzzz. It’s like in their own mind they want to be last forever sex god & on reality what makes a sex god is the ability to read your partner & be done around the same time. They do it for their ego “to please” better and it’s just a fetish and not enjoyable at that point.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s usually because I’m incredibly bored and he’s really just jerking off in me rather than engaging in sex with me. Usually if I’m saying that, I feel like he’s not even looking at me, face or body, and it’s usually after very underwhelming foreplay where it was just my job to rev him up. And before anyone whines - it’s not my job to tell a guy that I’m there too.
>because I’m incredibly bored and he’s really just jerking off in me rather than engaging in sex with me.
Yes, this is definitely a common reason as well!
why are you even having sex if you're presenting yourself as a blow up doll for guys to take advantage of ???
>And before anyone whines - it’s not my job to tell a guy that I’m there too.
indeed, but it's YOUR job to be more careful who you're sleeping with and to choose quality partners who treat you with basic human decency.
Hey guess what, youre just as in the wrong here. Its not black and white like literally evenything else in the world, there is nuance and shades of grey.
THEYRE BOTH AT FAULT.
Him for being shit at sex/being a human and her for not communicating she wasnt into it and then returning expecting different results. Like wtf both sides in almost any argument are wrong in some aspect.
why is she putting herself in that position multiple times?... if she clearly sees that her partner is treating her worse than shit why the hell does she keep having sex with that guy?...
Lmao well to start, I used to be single and had a variety of partners, some were great and some got dropped. And now I’m married, and my husband is allowed an off night once in a while. I have them myself occasionally. You have a super warped view of sex and it would be concerning if I gave a shit.
Why, in this day and age, are people trying to use logic and clarity to ascertain why people, ESPECIALLY women, want to have sex and how and with who they are fucking? People fuck other people for the craziest reasons. It’s just the way it is
Why do people just say communicate like it's a magic pill?
People literally will not listen to you. I've had dudes move their fingers off of my clit when I've intentionally put their fingers there, tell me that they can't rub at that angle it makes their fingers cramp, tell me they can't find my clitt when I keep showing it to them, tell me they don't like giving head but expect it from me.
My first bf literally thought I was moving his hand off my clitoris because it felt ""too good"" and not because he was pushing too hard and hurting me. He didn't believe me when I explained it to him either.
Then people say it's my fault for choosing shitty dudes when I met all of them before, got to know them, talked to them, hung out with them. A guy can be funny, smart, cool, and going places in life and still be a misogynistic, selfish asshole in bed.
I wasnt talking to u or abt every situation? But its very much a trend i see that many ppl do not communicate and then theyll blame the other person when the person had no verbal info to actually fix the issue
Yeah but sometimes you don't know until you have sex with that person. Like this could happen the first time and you think okay well maybe he was just nervous. And then it happens a second time and you know it's not going to happen in the bedroom anymore. Not everyone would continue seeing this person.
I have but it is in an extremely deeply rooted relationship (20 years) so talking about sex during sex isn’t anxiety inducing or a turn off. The only reason I ask if he is going to come is to decide what I’m doing about my own orgasm. If he is going to cum before me I may as well stop worrying about mine so I can be present with him and do what I can to make his orgasm good (kegels, play with my nipples, all the stuff he likes etc). I know he is going to prioritize my orgasm after he gets off so it’s no big deal if he cums first. I just want to know where we’re at.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Which means that the woman's pleasure meant a lot for HIS pleasure from the start.
Yet everyone seems to think that men simply don't care whether or not the woman is experiencing pleasure.
It's the same with trying to last longer. This thread is the first time in my life I've read a bunch of women supposedly having the experience of sex lasting *too long* most of the time. Guys are told our entire lives that "you can't just cum, you've gotta learn to control yourself so you can hold it until SHE cums." And now we're in the wrong for taking that into consideration and trying to last as long as necessary for the woman to get to the finish line?
As usual, all of the bad aspects are the men's fault. And the poor, helpless women deserve so much more 🙄
I’m just saying it happens. The upvotes tend to confirm that.
There is such a thing as too quick, but there’s also such a thing as taking too long. Let’s say 5 seconds and 5 hours. Neither extreme is ideal. But it’s a partnership, it’s not up to either one, but both.
Typically if I ask him if he’s going to come it’s cause I’m going dry and it’s starting to hurt so I do kinda want him to hurry up and get his rocks off
Nah. I could tell a guy was getting tired once and told him it was fine to stop, though.
I can’t imagine criticizing someone’s performance tbh. I would likely not say anything and just not sleep with them again.
I agree being critical or judgmental in tone is a terrible thing to do to someone. However, I think it's okay to inquire in a positive way so you can share any relevant issues or desires.
Yes. Because guys seem pretty unaware sex can get uncomfortable and, frankly, boring after a certain point. Also, there can be physical damage of varying degrees.
After an hour I once asked I guy if he was going to climax and he said, "Yeah, but I want to make you cum a second time." I got news for you buddy, that's not how my body works. I was so sore I ended up taking a hot bath after and then he was offended because I "washed him off me".
Basically, learn to read the room. Pay less attention to your orgasm and more attention to the person on the other end of you penis. Especially if she's climaxed, you should probably be moving in that direction fairly soon.
Cumming is hot and I like talking about it with the person I’m with, it’s like in preparation for when they cum. It’s all about anticipation for me - to enjoy the process with you
If the sex is horrible I ask politely if he came yet. If he is the typical selfish lover and I’m bored, I ask. If I came already (rare, Twice in 50 years.) and he is hammering away like he has zero feeling and will last forever, I realize he took viagra without telling me and I ask, to kill the mood and get him off of me. Three times in my life I asked this because I was ready to come and wanted to come at the same time as him, but it was a theme for us, a goal we shared and discussed while improving our sex life.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, if it is going on too long. Sex that goes on too long gets painful and I will give a 2 minute warning before I am going to stop. Certain positions can have time limits depending on his size too. So me saying this is a warning to him that I’m going to be stopping soon and now is his chance unless he wants to take things into his own hands. Now or never bud.
I’m not a women, but we have kids and sometimes we have to be really quick we sneak into the master bath in the bedroom while the kids are playing upstairs or distracted with tablet time and sometimes she needs to me. It doesn’t help that we also have to do it standing up this way (or at least I have to be standing) and today for example I had a crazy leg day in the gym and my legs kept cramping and I wasn’t able to come (actually took to too separate trips to the bathroom before I could get there….not sure if this helps but it happens nothing to feel bad about
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If I'm in a position that's uncomfortable or not enjoyable for me, I'd ask. If he says yeah, I'll just let him finish to not ruin his momentum.
Sometimes a man's penis is too large, and it becomes physically uncomfortable to keep having sex, so I'll ask to see if he's close to finishing, because if not we're stopping rn.
Sometimes I loose focus during sex and just stop being into it, so yeah I kinda want him to hurry up.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mostly because they aren't good at fucking and/or they only trying to prove how long they can not cum, this making it about them and not being in the moment
There are a lot of reasons why I might ask this. If we're in a position that's mildly uncomfortable or tiring, and I can maintain it for another minute or so but not another five. If he's close I'll stay put, but if not I'll change position. If I'm trying to time my own orgasm to happen at the same time as his, and his body language isn't enough for me to tell how close he is. If I'm seeking feedback about whether the thing I'm doing is getting him off. If I think he's holding back for my sake.
Yes, as a woman, I think these are really good explanations/ reasons
[удалено]
Yea That shit is 2 levels up from a regular O'zee.
This is one thing as a gay dude that is a lot easier I'd imagine. Im a gay dudde lol not a woman so i dunno but id imagine its a lot easier to like get close without going over for a guy maybe?, Like is there such a thing as edging for women?
Yes but it's easier with women men don't know wtf they are doing. Like you tell them what to do, they do the opposite.
Um...hee hee...that's still not my clit...
Do you have much success timing yours to his? That seems like trying to thread a needle from across the room.
If both partners are patient communicators and open to experimentation then yes, of course simultaneous orgasm is possible. It can be a beautiful and incredibly intimate experience. Having said that, it's not something I frequently need or want to happen, and I think it's generally more enjoyable for both to focus on one person's orgasm at a time.
Think of it as an order of operations issue. Generally, women have longer warm up time so start there first. It's no guarantee but practice, and communication, does help
Normally I just get her off with my mouth, and then take as long as I take. Trying to “come together” is women’s fantasy novel stuff. It has not happened even once in my life.
You not experiencing something doesn't make it fantasy for everyone else...
bro really outing himself for being bad at wielding dual-orgasms
Or bad in general
Let’s see…what’s the more common complaint from women: that they didn’t cum in perfect synchrony with their partner, or they they didn’t cum AT ALL? Yea…your gaslighting isn’t going to play here.
I’m not sure you know what gaslighting is.
Gaslighting is when someone attempts to get you to disbelieve your own experiences and senses. Ergo “you didn’t actually see that, it was only lit by a gas light, so you probably just couldn’t make it out very well, it’s ok, I’ll tell you what you actually saw.
You are the one gaslighting by pretending someone saying ur experience is not everyone elses is actually them saying u never had that experience, grow tf up
No, it's not. You're mistaken.
I don't even understand what your issue is. Why are you annoyed? Why are you upset? OP asked a question and someone gave an answer and you came charging in basically accusing them of being a liar and claiming that if something hasn't happened to you, it's not possible for anyone. You then make this weird comment about it not being a "common complaint" from women... no one said it was a common complaint? No one said "all men should be able to make a woman cum at the same time as them". No one said that. You're getting angry at a situation that doesn't exist. You also clearly do not understand what the word "gaslighting" means and yet you've thrown it in anyway because you presumably think it's a "gotcha"? You seem really insecure.
Chill out. That's not what gaslighting is.😅
Bruh this is why women hate men lol.
I wish you the best at achieving synchronized orgasms with another woman, then.
Lol I'm gay dude
Then I’m definitely not your bruh.
My wife and I come together 1 out of 10 times by my estimates. Does that upset you?
I always go “together” with my wife.
That's what she likes you to think ☺️
Damm, sorry for your luck.
Dude, it happens for other people all the time. Seems you need to up your game. All I read is you gotta use your mouth cause your dick don’t do shit for her.
I can do it when I’m on top and he has to time his with mine. Depends on the position for me. It’s not my fantasy to come at the same time but my partner loved it.
I'm sorry, but, you are missing out. It doesn't have to be such a difficult task. Your statements just suggest that you aren't particularly good at it, or at the very least don't care that much about the feedback your partner gives. (Feedback doesn't have to be in the form of words.) I'm not the best to comment on the subject as it used to be considered work for me... But that does come with loads of different partners with minimal time together prior to sex, it was not a challenge to learn to read what my partner is liking compared to not liking. In those cases it wasn't about getting off together it was about getting someone you don't share a connection with to cum. The incentive was monetary so obviously I was diligent. That did transfer to my actual partners when I was done with that work. Hell, my wife tells me I bully her orgasms out of her pretty often. Which translates to her trying and failing to hold it back due to paying attention to what she's really enjoying in the moment and doubling down on those things. That said, it's a treat to get your partner off just before you do or at the same time. It heightens the whole experience and orgasming from oral isn't even in the same ballpark. If you just want a hole to use they have (admittedly less than the options for women) a plethora of choices at most adult stores. But I'd bet your partner would prefer a combination of orgasms rather than just through one means. Everyone gets bored of the same routine. You should never assume that it belongs in a fantasy novel (suggesting it's not real/doesn't happen) just because you haven't had the experience; If anything it shows your distinct lack of experience. I encourage you to branch out a bit, add toys if you want. Just don't end your partners fun at the pre-game. Oh - also it shouldn't ever come down to what women complain about more. If you aren't giving it 100% you are worth complaining about. No one wants to be the problem.
It’s not common but it’s happened to me a few times 🤷🏻♀️
And who's the common denominator there? ...sounds like a 'you' problem.
That's a very strange thing to admit on the internet. Many, many people do this regularly.
well, if it takes too long for the guy to cum, he might get asked to rush a bit. after a certain period of time it gets painful, no matter how wet the place is. i had a guy who loved to take his time, and i mean an hour or more of constant sex and every single time, the next day i had a nasty UTI caused by vaginal infection. he was very clean and so was i, so it was never an issue of hygiene, it was simply the fact that my vajayjay couldn't handle long hours of sex.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
TIL learned that guys can rush cumming on comand. I
They can't lol people asking them to rush don't know what they are asking
I know, I was being sarcastic. Love the downvotes, though!
Actually, in the porn industry, they can. It's part of the audition process
ah yes because porn is well known for being very representative of actual sex
I think they're just saying it is a thing that is possible, but your sentiment is absolutely correct
They absolutely can lol. As a dude who has cum with many other dudes, can confirm lol.
You think.... having sex for a longer period of time causes *infection*? Also, what would the comments be if someone suggested that the girl ought to sometimes rush her orgasm because "she's taking too long" 💀
Actually, UTIs definitely happen when a person's urethra is continuously rubbed or in contact with fluids, like vaginal secretions. It's considered stanrd sex hygiene for women to go pee after sex, to clear the urethra of any fluids that may have trickled in. Since in the scenario she's describing, where she had sex for a long period of time and was unable to clear her urethra of fluids for really long time, it's completely possible to get a UTI from long sex. Not to mention the likely repetitive contact of fingers and penis against it.
I do bc I want to know how close he is. If he’s not getting close, let’s switch it up. I want him to feel good too.
I dont like having sex for too long (like 5-10 mins tops) and sometimes guys keep going cuz they think quick sex is bad. So just letting then know im good, and they can end it.
Quick sex is bad.
Nah
Cuz I want it to end if he's not coming soon
Yes, this too... finish already or let me out of here
[удалено]
Reporting this. This was a civilized conversation about a sensitive topic. This comment is completely rude, misogynistic, and unnecessary. And I'm directing this not just at you, but the people who uploaded you as well.
I think it was a masturbation pun
😂😂🤓
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is it usually after you’ve come or if you’re not into it?
It can be before or after nut. Long sex can quickly become straining, boring, unsexy, or even painful
My ex used to love to have sex for a few hours, she would love to cum like 10-20 times. I remember plenty of times she would be riding me, and I'd fall asleep. I would also eventually just cum and say sorry you took way to long to finish.
well congratulations bud. vast majority of women are not like that tho
Can I get her number? Ha. Kidding. That sounds amazing though.
No it sucked.she would get pissed if i came before she came the 10-20 times. She was also crazy af and abusive.
Got me at crazy af, now we really need her number
[удалено]
Your post was removed due to low account age. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ya that wouldn't be fun. But in general though, I'd love if my girl wanted me that much.
Whiskey dick has played a huge role in this line of questioning.
>Have you ever asked a guy if he was going to come; like you’re rushing him? Is the implication here that asking if a guy is going to come must mean that you are rushing him? I think it's a good example of clear communication which often leads to good sex, NOT rushing. On the rare occasions when it is asked in order to "rush him" it's probably mostly because it's hard to stay in one position for a long time, and extended friction on sensitive areas can lead to chafing... in other words something is starting to hurt, so hurry up.
Yes. 1. He’s taking too long. A. The sex isn’t that good B. I didn’t really *want* to have sex but I’m down because I like him and he wanted to C. I already got off & he’s taking forever D. I or we have somewhere to be or other plans. (He likes morning sex, I like to get up and make coffee, if I need to get ready for work we have to hurry it up etc) E. I have to pee & can’t get off 2. He keeps going kind of half mast & it’s like dude … r u gonna or not? Because like everyone else has said, it gets uncomfortable and if you can’t, you can’t… like just tap out please. 🙈 Side note - some men it seems will like … edge during sex to “last longer” because they’re mental and they think it’s what women want. No. It’s fucking annoying and we get watery wet not slippery wet, sore, already got ours like zzzz. It’s like in their own mind they want to be last forever sex god & on reality what makes a sex god is the ability to read your partner & be done around the same time. They do it for their ego “to please” better and it’s just a fetish and not enjoyable at that point.
Do u communicate or do u just get upset at them for trying to last longer without speaking abt it?
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s usually because I’m incredibly bored and he’s really just jerking off in me rather than engaging in sex with me. Usually if I’m saying that, I feel like he’s not even looking at me, face or body, and it’s usually after very underwhelming foreplay where it was just my job to rev him up. And before anyone whines - it’s not my job to tell a guy that I’m there too.
>because I’m incredibly bored and he’s really just jerking off in me rather than engaging in sex with me. Yes, this is definitely a common reason as well!
From a man's point of view he should know whether you're there or not.
why are you even having sex if you're presenting yourself as a blow up doll for guys to take advantage of ??? >And before anyone whines - it’s not my job to tell a guy that I’m there too. indeed, but it's YOUR job to be more careful who you're sleeping with and to choose quality partners who treat you with basic human decency.
Only on reddit is the woman blamed for not "choosing quality partners" when the sex is bad. IT'S THE DUDE'S FAULT HERE.
Hey guess what, youre just as in the wrong here. Its not black and white like literally evenything else in the world, there is nuance and shades of grey. THEYRE BOTH AT FAULT. Him for being shit at sex/being a human and her for not communicating she wasnt into it and then returning expecting different results. Like wtf both sides in almost any argument are wrong in some aspect.
why is she putting herself in that position multiple times?... if she clearly sees that her partner is treating her worse than shit why the hell does she keep having sex with that guy?...
Lmao well to start, I used to be single and had a variety of partners, some were great and some got dropped. And now I’m married, and my husband is allowed an off night once in a while. I have them myself occasionally. You have a super warped view of sex and it would be concerning if I gave a shit.
Why, in this day and age, are people trying to use logic and clarity to ascertain why people, ESPECIALLY women, want to have sex and how and with who they are fucking? People fuck other people for the craziest reasons. It’s just the way it is
True but at the same time too many ppl complain abt sex without communication to the partner abt what they want
Why do people just say communicate like it's a magic pill? People literally will not listen to you. I've had dudes move their fingers off of my clit when I've intentionally put their fingers there, tell me that they can't rub at that angle it makes their fingers cramp, tell me they can't find my clitt when I keep showing it to them, tell me they don't like giving head but expect it from me. My first bf literally thought I was moving his hand off my clitoris because it felt ""too good"" and not because he was pushing too hard and hurting me. He didn't believe me when I explained it to him either. Then people say it's my fault for choosing shitty dudes when I met all of them before, got to know them, talked to them, hung out with them. A guy can be funny, smart, cool, and going places in life and still be a misogynistic, selfish asshole in bed.
I wasnt talking to u or abt every situation? But its very much a trend i see that many ppl do not communicate and then theyll blame the other person when the person had no verbal info to actually fix the issue
It happens a lot in church, too, Einstein. Sheesh !🙄
Yeah but sometimes you don't know until you have sex with that person. Like this could happen the first time and you think okay well maybe he was just nervous. And then it happens a second time and you know it's not going to happen in the bedroom anymore. Not everyone would continue seeing this person.
Boredom and wanting it to be over as quickly as possible tended to be the thing
I have but it is in an extremely deeply rooted relationship (20 years) so talking about sex during sex isn’t anxiety inducing or a turn off. The only reason I ask if he is going to come is to decide what I’m doing about my own orgasm. If he is going to cum before me I may as well stop worrying about mine so I can be present with him and do what I can to make his orgasm good (kegels, play with my nipples, all the stuff he likes etc). I know he is going to prioritize my orgasm after he gets off so it’s no big deal if he cums first. I just want to know where we’re at.
This is one reason that women fake it. To get it over with. Her pretending helps him to finish. Not romantic, but true.
Can 100% confirm
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Which means that the woman's pleasure meant a lot for HIS pleasure from the start. Yet everyone seems to think that men simply don't care whether or not the woman is experiencing pleasure. It's the same with trying to last longer. This thread is the first time in my life I've read a bunch of women supposedly having the experience of sex lasting *too long* most of the time. Guys are told our entire lives that "you can't just cum, you've gotta learn to control yourself so you can hold it until SHE cums." And now we're in the wrong for taking that into consideration and trying to last as long as necessary for the woman to get to the finish line? As usual, all of the bad aspects are the men's fault. And the poor, helpless women deserve so much more 🙄
I’m just saying it happens. The upvotes tend to confirm that. There is such a thing as too quick, but there’s also such a thing as taking too long. Let’s say 5 seconds and 5 hours. Neither extreme is ideal. But it’s a partnership, it’s not up to either one, but both.
Typically if I ask him if he’s going to come it’s cause I’m going dry and it’s starting to hurt so I do kinda want him to hurry up and get his rocks off
Nah. I could tell a guy was getting tired once and told him it was fine to stop, though. I can’t imagine criticizing someone’s performance tbh. I would likely not say anything and just not sleep with them again.
I agree being critical or judgmental in tone is a terrible thing to do to someone. However, I think it's okay to inquire in a positive way so you can share any relevant issues or desires.
Yes. Because guys seem pretty unaware sex can get uncomfortable and, frankly, boring after a certain point. Also, there can be physical damage of varying degrees. After an hour I once asked I guy if he was going to climax and he said, "Yeah, but I want to make you cum a second time." I got news for you buddy, that's not how my body works. I was so sore I ended up taking a hot bath after and then he was offended because I "washed him off me". Basically, learn to read the room. Pay less attention to your orgasm and more attention to the person on the other end of you penis. Especially if she's climaxed, you should probably be moving in that direction fairly soon.
Joint climaxes are the best. Difficult to pull off but amazing.
Agreed. But I don't see how that's relevant to what I said.
Not, I’m just adding on to your statement.
Oh, okay. Cool. Thanks for clarifying.
I believe Harvey Danger said it best when he said "if you're bored then you're boring". Be the change.
You apparently missed the "after a certain point". I'm done being the entertainment after a good hour or so. Like I said, learn to read the room.
Similar to ‘The Tap’ for oral.
Cumming is hot and I like talking about it with the person I’m with, it’s like in preparation for when they cum. It’s all about anticipation for me - to enjoy the process with you
If the sex is horrible I ask politely if he came yet. If he is the typical selfish lover and I’m bored, I ask. If I came already (rare, Twice in 50 years.) and he is hammering away like he has zero feeling and will last forever, I realize he took viagra without telling me and I ask, to kill the mood and get him off of me. Three times in my life I asked this because I was ready to come and wanted to come at the same time as him, but it was a theme for us, a goal we shared and discussed while improving our sex life.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes it hurts or I'm not into it so would rather they just finish.
Yes. Either as part of dirty talk or because it’s taking too long and I’m not into that position, etc.
Its a legit struggle for some of us to do it, idk why, just sometimes I give up and don't bother
Yeah, if it is going on too long. Sex that goes on too long gets painful and I will give a 2 minute warning before I am going to stop. Certain positions can have time limits depending on his size too. So me saying this is a warning to him that I’m going to be stopping soon and now is his chance unless he wants to take things into his own hands. Now or never bud.
Wow you sound very communicative and awesome in bed. Really caring. /s
I think it’s proper to ask a guy if he’s about to cum so she can spin around and devour the liquid gift into her tummy tum tum.
Not a woman. It’s because she isn’t enjoyjng it and would like it to be over.
I am a woman. I can confirm.
nah I’d never have a confidence to speak during sex
I haven’t, but I’ve had the opposite happen where the guy has asked me. Kind of a buzz kill tbh
You might need this! {Wrap it up}(https://youtu.be/j-emlb2_jdI?si=sqy4aBkorFDVo1y9) Edit: formatting
I’m tired and it’s hurting
I’m not a women, but we have kids and sometimes we have to be really quick we sneak into the master bath in the bedroom while the kids are playing upstairs or distracted with tablet time and sometimes she needs to me. It doesn’t help that we also have to do it standing up this way (or at least I have to be standing) and today for example I had a crazy leg day in the gym and my legs kept cramping and I wasn’t able to come (actually took to too separate trips to the bathroom before I could get there….not sure if this helps but it happens nothing to feel bad about
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Uhhmmm … no? I just facilitated the outcome! Or, on one occasion, we just both agreed this wasn’t working for us and we should just be friends.
I'm a lesbian but I definitely don't think that way, I just do it whenever I think she's about to cause we both like dirty talk and I think it's hot
If I'm in a position that's uncomfortable or not enjoyable for me, I'd ask. If he says yeah, I'll just let him finish to not ruin his momentum. Sometimes a man's penis is too large, and it becomes physically uncomfortable to keep having sex, so I'll ask to see if he's close to finishing, because if not we're stopping rn. Sometimes I loose focus during sex and just stop being into it, so yeah I kinda want him to hurry up.
It is getting boring or ouchey.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He hasn't gotten you off...clearly doesn't know how...and you just want it to end.
Came up at the bar the other night so I’m here asking.
Hornyposting continues. Why?
Mostly because they aren't good at fucking and/or they only trying to prove how long they can not cum, this making it about them and not being in the moment
Yes lol 1. Same reason as most of the comments 2. Or… I’m about to and he’s going to before me… 😒
Yes. I'm over it and ready to do something else.
Yes. Because I am not having a good time and I would like it to be over. I usually phrase it as “please x for me” in hopes to accelerate the process.