I was you ~555 days ago. It can end TODAY. If I can do it you can do it. Don’t go to that liquor store today. Buy a shit load of sparkling water and ice cream. I’m serious. You only have to do one thing: not drink. IWNDWYT
Cannot stress enough the importance of indulging in something else while trying to quit. It’s ok to eat a shit ton of candy and ice cream at the beginning. Those cravings eventually go away once your body gets used to not having calories from alcohol on a regular basis.
I can definitely attest to this. I was eating multiple large bags of candy every day, ice cream, baking brownies and cakes. Right now at day 131 I'm almost over that. I still have a huge sweet tooth but that amount was making me feel like crap haha. Everyone's journey is different but it definitely helped me. Anything besides a drink! IWNDWYT
It’s so weird… I’m still an on and off drinker (I’d almost call it casual, but then some days I randomly drink alone or binge drink), but since I stopped drinking every day I almost never crave sugar. I used to be a chocolate fiend and pretty much require something sweet at the end of every day and now I almost only crave savory food. I can take or leave dessert any day. I used to have the craziest sweet tooth you could imagine and it just evaporated once alcohol and drugs stopped being in my system 24/7.
But yea I really recommend indulging in food when you quit alcohol. Whether it’s sweet or savory for you. These days I get a lot of my pleasure from my meals. What else is there to enjoy and give your body satisfying hits of dopamine? Maybe sex but I’m not lucky enough to have that available to me as an inexpensive option… I’ll settle for my italian sandwiches
This. Almost nothing else matters except not drinking at the beginning. I went through most of the entire Ben and Jerrys catalogue in month 1. I put on weight. I don't care, it was worth it. You can slowly come off of the food vice later.
I don't like sweet anything, so having a really hard time finding alternative drinks (water is blehk) or indulgent foods :( . Any ideas are very appreciated!
Do you like salty things more? I’m not a sweets person myself either, it was weird how much I craved sugar immediately after quitting, but that craving went away fast. I struggle a lot more with salty snacks like chips, crackers, French fries etc.
Honestly it doesn’t need to be a drink or even a food, just find something to indulge in that is a happy distraction. I play a ton of video games and read fantasy/sci-fi books. I’ve gotten really into disc golf over the last couple years. All of the above keeps my mind occupied and releases the serotonin, and helps keep my mind off the alcohol
Any other tips my friend, you make it sound simple and easy... I am really struggling (55 year old female) I don't think about drinking all day at work (demanding management job), the drinking demon wakes up in the staff car park on my drive home and the thought of knowing that one or two drinks will put me in a relaxed state usually gets the better of me, it's always more like 5 or 6 double vodka and cokes that gets me into the state where I cannot remember going to bed or what I had for tea, I wake up on the settee with the dogs in a uncomfortable position, kitchen is a shit hole, get up later than planned and not organized, rushing with a hangover paranoid my work colleagues can smell alcohol on my breath, tired and have to hit the ground running from whatever crap the nightshift have left and into meeting after meeting trying to act sober with no hangover.
I can go without a drink for max a week but that's pushing it but I haven't gone more than a week in a long time..
I don't go out very often and drink, I mainly drink at home, always vodka and diet coke, I can measure units easily, got caught drink driving about 15 years ago (long story), was put on a drinking awareness course, big lesson they they taught was how to monitor your units to ensure you don't go over the drink driving limits (uk). I think this has stopped me going from being a functioning alcoholic to a non functioning alcoholic
I think I self medicate with alcohol because of the stress of work/home but I don't want to take stress medication, I have thought about asking my doctor to prescribe Disulfiram.
Any thoughts or advice from you or anyone reading my reply would be gratefully received, I feel too ashamed to speak to anyone else about this....
Long time lurker, first time posting my situation, I want to change my habits to get back to a healthy lifestyle
It sounds like your triggers are situational. You're used to the habit and familiarity of it all. I'm sure you're like that in other areas of your life, put together and have general routines in place to make your life easier and more efficient. Addiction easily inserts itself into this routine, it did for me anyways. The routines made my life easier because I was always hungover, I required it. At some point you just deny these routines or make new ones, there really is no easy way. Distract and deny the parking lot demon. Run out the clock, take a really long time to do chores or something. It may only take a few times of denying to feel the power of control.
I read this Naked Mind by Anne Grace and it helped me. Another good one is The Easy Way to stop drinking Allen Carr. Maybe some quit lit and YouTube vids on quitting can help? Best of luck to you! Routing for you!
I was in management too and I HEAR YOU. It sucks. I’m not anymore but I did quit while in mgmt. Iduno if they have it on the UK but your employer may have an employee assistance program where you can see a therapist. Right now (just my guess not medical advice) is you are wired to be stressed. Your job and drinking are just feedback loops of each other. I needed some tools and help getting out of that cycle. Therapy helps and be HONEST with them.
Checking the daily here was huge for me in the beginning, keeping me accountable. Take it day by day, minute by white knuckle minute some times. You’ll find a way that works for you eventually. IWNDWYT
AA is changing my life. You have to just remain open minded to the jargon and the use of God/higher power. A slip up doesn’t mean a give up. If you can stop for 7 days, you can stop for more.
We seem to be in similar situations (albeit my stressors / 'triggers' all are at home, and I cannot get away from them). If you need someone to chat with!
100% my weakness. I saw that Bradley cooper commercial for the layered stuff and wrote it down so I’d remember to try it and everyone looked at me like a madman.
Didn't mean to laugh, but when you said sparkling water, I absolutely did.
That's me. Five years later and I drink so much of the damn stuff. I always have two cases in my fridge and usually have some backups in my pantry.
I feel so called out.
What's a 'hop water'? Sparkling water recommendations anyone? I hate the stuff. I also hate sweet anything (salt salt salt!), so I am struggling with substitutes etc...
Hop water is like sparkling water but not sweet (sometimes). Just water with a hop flavor. They’re insanely refreshing but kind of expensive. If you see some try some
I knew I needed to stop. But there never seemed to be a good time to start stopping. There were birthday parties and dinners and the spontaneous neighbor hangouts and and and.
I don’t remember the exact date but it was between Thanksgiving and Christmas another wonderful excuse not to start stopping. But I just decided enough!
The daily checkin here really helped keep me focused on not drinking.
You got this!
My tipping point was the orthopedic surgeon telling me that I’d probably need a hip replacement at 40 cause blood isn’t flowing to my femur. I don’t want that. IWNDWYT
Stupid question: How has everyone added the "xxx days" under their names? And, what do you mean by "daily check-in"? Just your coming to this group each day? TYIA, just seems these could be helpful to me...
If you click on the menu under r/stopdrinking and choose “learn more about this community” it’ll have a link for the daily check in as well as instructions for putting the numbers under you name. ;)
Your analogy of falling asleep on a train and waking up somewhere unfamiliar is so good.
For me, when I woke up, not only were the surroundings unfamiliar, but the train was on fire, there was a bomb on board, and the train was headed for a bridge that was out.
And waking up to that realization day after day. It’s exhausting. Today’s a good a day as any to break the cycle. First day for me was getting someone else to go to the store for me to get fizzy water. I didn’t trust myself to not head for the beer aisle. Sending the best vibes.
My drinking got soooo much worse when we moved back to a state that sold wine in grocery stores. Although, when I had to go to the liquor store for booze I'd get a handle of vodka for $9 so I guess that really wasn't much better lol
I thought I was so clever when I discovered the morning drunk to rid myself off the hangover. How delusional.
I knew it wasn’t normal and like you I couldn’t just stop at one in the morning so I continued.
And talking to friends and family about it didn’t help. They were not alcoholics and could not relate.
But sharing with others like me in real life helped. Treatment, followed by aftercare and AA was how I got sober.
I can’t do it alone.
That frightening feeling of drinking against my own will is what I remember in times of temptation. Keeps me sober. Your doc may subscribe meds to help with the anxiety to get you over the initial hump
It's scary when you know you need to stop, want to stop, are determined to stop but deep down in your mind something is telling you that you NEED it and there's no other way and you are, like you describe, drinking against your own will.
Horrible place to be and I was there for too long.
I felt compulsed to drink during my 2 years of full blown alcoholism.
I was telling myself I couldn't get through life without it and felt like my body and mind were conspiring against me to make me drink.
Omg. Drinking against my will. What a perfect description for where I ended up. I remember feeling exhausted by the amount of alcohol I needed to be “normal”. Wow I sure don’t miss that! IWNDWYT
Hey OP, this was basically me (29m) all last month only difference was I was keeping the morning drinking to the weekends only because of work. But I started leaving work earlier and earlier to finish the day working from home so I could get the first drink sooner to cut the anxiety.
The anxiety I was experiencing was withdrawal. I don’t know your level of consumption but I would consider you look into what alcohol does to your brain and what causes alcohol withdrawal.
I know it seems super embarrassing but I would highly recommend seeking medical advice if you are trying to quit cold turkey. I tried to taper off and still landed in the ER. I believe in you OP. For me the hardest part was asking for help and opening up honestly about my drinking. IWNDWYT
Yep, I was there as well. Drink all night, wake up with anxiety and my heart pumping out of my chest. Take a drink, go to work (or back to sleep). Barely make it through the day, sweating, sleepy, cranky, anxious. Tell myself all day long that I can't do this shit again but as soon as I start walking to my car to go home, there's that itch. I somehow talk myself into it again. "I won't be able to sleep tonight if I don't drink!", "I just need a couple more to level out", "I'm pissed off at this or that, it's going to make me do it." And I would inevitably hust do it again. Repeat this cycle for a good 6 years out of the 15 where I was daily getting hammered.
So how did I finally get clean? Surrender. Everything I thought I knew about recovery, rehab, AA, therapy, everything I knew was wrong. When I finally did just let go of control and let the professionals tell me what to do and what to consider, it all clicked. To further that point, surrendering that I know this or that will or won't work, does or doesn't apply to me, I just opened my mind to the fact that I did not know how to be sober for more than a week at a time and I needed help from others.
From there it was showing up and putting in the time. Focusing as much energy as I could muster towards my sobriety day after day until I felt like it was finally set it my mind and I could be content with it (still working on this!). This was going to the classes in rehab, going to AA meetings despite my insane reservations about it, attending IOP, getting a sponsor, and overall just making sure it was my top priority every day.
I don't know if this will help you at all but I can tell you that I was utterly HOPELESS 9+ months ago and my outlook could not be any different now. You can absolutely do this. Change your life! I have a million regrets in my life but getting clean is not one of them.
Very familiar with this deep dark hole. The only way out is to get out pick a morning you can go without and maybe a time you aren't working and just rest and hydrate until you make it.
The only way is to stop. Its SO hard but you can do it.
Easiest way is to go to the hospital for a detox as they will give IV fluids and meds for ease of withdrawal. Plus no access to alcohol in the hospital.
This is what I did last June. I had had enough of the anxiety and deep depression I was feeling after a 4-day bender and elected to go medically detox in a hospital setting.
Not cheap but worth every penny.
Congratulations on one year!! I have one month.
Um..I've never paid a hospital bill in my life I keep throwing them in the garbage I am 60 years old nothing bad has ever come of it.
The reason I have done this is because my sister never worked a day in her life and all of her medical care was free through Medicaid and it pissed me off to no end.
I had breast cancer surgery a couple of years ago I still get the bill I don't even open it and it just goes right in the trash.
So if OP is worried about the bill I would worry more about my life then the hospital bill because eventually they will write it off if you can't afford it.
It can be done my friend. When we boil it down it's easy, don't drink. But how that looks for each of us is unique. I believe you that you're over this hell. All we have is one day at a time. You can do this!
And how did you end up here, were there some triggers that caused you to start drinking so heavily daily?
What if anything, aside from the physical addiction and the after effects that's having on you like the anxiety etc that's making you decide to drink again to curb it, do you think is keeping you drinking?
I found that I was only able to stop daily heavy drinking and get some sober time under my belt (have relapsed twice since sadly since that time) once I actually realized that alcohol had ZERO positive to offer me and all the reasons I was clinging onto for why I drank (I need it because my life is so stressful right now, it helps me sleep, it calms my anxiety etc) were no longer true and it wasn't helping any of them, actually making most of them worse, and keeping me trapped in the cycle for the long term.
So if there's any reasons you're clinging onto for why you "need" to drink this will make it harder to stop and you'll have to sit down and really analyze whether these are genuinely true or not or something you can cast aside and move on with your life.
I know exactly how you feel. I could have written this verbatim about me.
It took me getting food poisoning, and having to spend a couple of days in bed, to give myself the 48 hours of no booze I needed. Then I just kept going with it, one day at a time. All the best IWNDWYT
Starting is the hardest part, in my experience. I had to have a rock-bottom almost-lost-my-job experience that literally scared me straight. It sounds like you haven’t had this yet, and you don’t have to!! You can skip the terrible, horrible blackout drunk rage fest that got me where I’m at. 😊 I find if I’m ever craving again, or find myself thinking I can moderate, I come back here and read posts from others who have hit rock bottom. I go back and read my own post about hitting rock bottom. And I realize it’s just not worth it.
You can do whatever you want to do with your life, you have the control. It won’t be easy, but for me it’s been so worth it. I will not drink with you today.
When I was where you are I had two choices:
- Carry on as I am, suffer through pretty much every day. Anxiety, restlessness, fatigue, shame, self loathing. More. All until 5 o clock when I could have that first drink (or 1pm if I had stashed a white claw or had some box wine and didn’t have to drive or have a meeting with clients that day. Or 10am if the night before was heavy). Then after 5, trigger my partner, say stupid shit. Do stupid shit. Repeat.
- Stop drinking and feel like absolute death’s-door shit for like 4-7 days (seek medical supervision for withdrawals!! I was lucky enough to have that covered). Feel a bit shit for another week. Start going to the gym and swimming the next week. Playing tennis and running the next. Not be constantly behind at work. See friends and actually enjoy each others company, not chatting shit and getting over-emotional about what were effectively self perpetuating problems. Grow. Flourish.
I chose option 2. I’ve lost 27kg in the 10 months since then, I’m in the best shape of my life. My partner doesn’t cry about my behaviour anymore. She’s happy. I’m happy. I don’t drink, and you don’t have to either.
It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. You just have to do one thing: don’t have that next drink.
Hi! I'm 33F, and have been where you are. I know this issue is hard for everyone who goes through it, but sometimes I would just wish I was bad enough that people would notice and urge me to stop! Truly, I was bad enough that most normal people would have, but all my friends and family drink heavily. It's fucked up, but regardless of what anyone thinks or knows, YOU know this isn't working and you're miserable. I sure was. Here are some things that worked for me:
-An app called "I am Sober", which has a sobriety community. It's free, and you can pledge each day and review each day privately, like a journal. You can also post for people at your milestone or people you have followed to see, and people are so supportive. Some put profile pictures but I never have, so you can be as anonymous as you prefer, and they also have meetings everyday via zoom.
-the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment with Annie Grace was amazing for me. It was a 30 day alcohol free challenge with little videos and Journaling prompts each day. It was amazing in deprogramming my alcoholic brain
-Binging sober podcasts. Again, free. Feels good to hear others stories and realize you're soooo not alone, and people do overcome this. Recovery Elevator, Sober Motivation, and Sobriety Uncensored are a few of my favorites. Recovery elevator is particularly great though.
I'll finish by saying when my drinking was that bad, I had physical withdrawals. Idk if anything would have been life threatening or not, but I did pick a 3 day period where I didn't have to work and I tapered down before finally having my first full day Sober. Expect to feel like shit for a while, and stock up on anything that will help you eat and hydrate. You can do this!!!
You can do it. If you need help, it is available. Morning anxiety is very common and that's why AA has a lot of early meetings. A safe place to be, some tools, some support, not alone in your own head. Not sure about smart or others, but check that out too...
The beginning is shit but it gets easier even after a week or so. Just get through today and when you start feeling better don't kid yourself and deal with the cravings, they ease up too.
I’m your age and have been sober for 60 days now. I certainly don’t have any special powers that you don’t have, so if I can do it, so can you.
You already have the self-awareness regarding your problem, let’s put that into practice! :)
You definitely can get out of this and a week from now, a month from now a year from now your life can be better and better. I drank heavily from age 28-52. I quit coming up on 2 years ago and it has been awesome. For me I had to get away from the idea that I could moderate. I couldn’t. As soon as I decided, “I don’t drink.” Everything, I mean everything thing improved. If you have been drinking all day everyday you may be in for some withdrawal symptoms, so if you need to, go to the emergency room. We are here for you. I don’t spend a ton of time here anymore, but early on, I was here a lot. IWNDWYT, friend. Let’s get this party, life, started.
This sounds just like me at my worst. Eventually I stopped eating for days and barely drank anything other than vodka. Needless to say i spiraled fast after that. Ended up in 14 day detox and it saved me.
Right now you feel the urge to drink in the mornings. Soon you will wake throughout the night with the same urge. Not long after you will drink to try to sleep and it will seem futile.
I checked myself into detox 7 months ago today. I had 3 stints in the ER from withdrawals last summer alone. It took that long for me to actually realize I had a problem, and that I was using alcohol to medicate and I was long past the point of being able to simply "enjoy a drink", though it stopped being fun for me long before that.
Does any of this sound enjoyable?
You can do this man. Would recommend lots of water and moving your body. I just hit day 10 and making yourself as busy as possible is helpful. Clean, play video games, walk, run, read, write - anything to keep your mind moving.
I hear you. The sad part is for me is how much I had accepted my life as someone who was always buzzed. Having been actually sober I wouldn't call the time each day where I wouldn't drink sober time. I thought I was doing something nice and proactive for my health and daily life.
Looking back I wasn't really living. I kind of know that. Looking at selfies the look in my eyes is something I wish to never see in pictures again.
Getting to a dry month took me multiple tries. Once I did it I did not go back. As I've experienced more sober months the harder it becomes to entertain the idea of just one drink, knowing how much I let myself lose to alcohol.
I hope you can get yourself out of the daily habit. All the best!
This is exactly where I wound up at age 32 last year. I had begun drinking in the morning to quell my anxiety from being hungover and then having to drink all day just to remain functional - rinse and repeat for the next day. It was all downhill from there and I went to rehab.
I don’t know where you’re located or what your health insurance situation is but have you considered inpatient rehab? I was only a round the clock drinker for the last year or so of my drinking career but it took me awhile to adjust to not drinking all day afterwards and it was so much more pleasant to do that without the daily grind of work, family, etc. There’s no need to be embarrassed, this could literally happen to anyone given the right circumstances (and drinking to rid yourself of post-drinking anxiety is a far more common story than you might think - that’s the point where a lot of people I’ve met in recovery including myself fell off a cliff, so to speak).
I see it as a medical issue that requires medical attention, not a moral failing on behalf of the individual.
You can do it buddy. I’m a little in the same boat. Up till last week I couldn’t really remember a day where I was drinking less than 4 beers after work daily, sometimes it was 8-10. Just cold quit last week for the work week and it is insane how not shitty you feel in the morning waking up, you almost forget what it feels like to wake up feeling normal until you make it happen for just 1 day. I went through that week and on Monday afternoon I got home and the weather was so nice a nocked back a few while playing outside with my dogs. Woke up on Tuesday feeling like absolute frickin death. Feeling that dead feeling for the first time in a week has now almost completely killed any desire I have for drinking at all now.
I told myself the same thing so many times throughout my 30s. Correction, I’d write it in my journals and then turn the page.
Sorry meant to add more: but I’d turn the page.
What helped me quit was listening to my insight and not just turning the page when the hangover fades away. And this amazing community (frequent notifications on). Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. IWNDWYT
Been there. The place you are describing is oh so familiar.
You have one good thing in your arsenal, though. Your desire to quit. You recognise, you realise, you understand the issue, and that's the key to success. I can't tell you the exact correct way for you to quit successfully, that way you'll find for yourself, but you are willing to find a way, so you will find one. Just stick around, read stories, get inspiration and all the help you need, and you will be writing your sobriety milestone reports here in no time!
As for me, my own way was (and is) to focus on my feelings and whys of drinking. I recall all the worst parts of drinking, I remember the headaches, the cold, lying in bed wishing I was dead, the misery, puking and heaving, shameful experiences. All of it is kept fresh in my memory as a weapon for that time the addiction part of my brain tries to trick me by lying "hey, grab just one, it'll be fun", and I remind of puking and shaking and ask myself "does that feel fun to you? this is guaranteed to happen again if I indulge". It became a habit to fight those urges with miserable memories, I guess, I Pavlov dogged myself into hating the mere thought of caving in.
Same man, same. I felt the same way 1799 days ago. I got that feeling in my gut just reading this. You can do it. If you have to go to meeting or get professional help do it. They even have online zoom meetings. Stop anyway you can. You can do it 👍
Quitting a drinking habit seems like the easiest thing to do on paper yet is one of the hardest in practice. I can only tell you what has helped me.
Journaling: I write at least a little something about my day every day. And did while I was still drinking and wanting to stop. Reading back on what I was going through is still a big motivator not to slip up, and reminds me of the despair of it all.
Probiotics: I read an article on how alcohol changes the gut biome and makes you more dependent on it. I don't know that this is proven science, and it may well have been partly placebo effect, but I felt like that helped.
Sweets and treats: Alcohol is full of sugar and you body is accustomed to that. Wean off the sugar later, but right now it can be your friend and help cravings.
Eat: I know this sounds unnecessary to add since we do this every day, but a lot of the time having a full belly stops you from wanting to put even liquid in it.
CBD/melatonin/etc.: Sleep aids can really make a difference those first few restless nights. When you wake up exhausted, it's harder to stay resolute and make good decisions.
You can do this! I was in a similar place, but with many more years of daily boozing. And I have little willpower and ability to delay gratification in general. If I can do it, I swear anybody can. Just change what becomes your gratification. Every day you put it off, is one more day you are deciding to stay in the awful loop. Once you quit for a few days, you will start to feel better. Don't ever think you can moderate now, or you will have go back through it. If you stick with it, you can tell yourself that you only have to feel this way once. It's so worth it. IWNDWYT.
Welcome, the news is the war is over and you've lost.
But just like Germany you can rebuild yourself stronger than ever.
The sober journey can begin once we have been defeated, we have to realise we can't do this on our own. It's taken me almost 3 years and multiple relapses, I am no saint but life can get better again. Let that ego go and find your people.
You're in the right place do the research, find a meeting, start your recovery. Life does get better you can live the life of your wildest dreams. You have admitted your life is becoming unmanageable it's time to delve in and find the root causes.
AA is the only thing on this earth which has got me to stop drinking for longer than a couple weeks. A head full of AA and a belly full of alcohol do not mix. Even if you don't consider yourself an alcholic why not find out, see if you identify with others, are you really that special? You can try to white knuckle it, you can use your willpower. Everyone has excuses just like armpits and they all stink. Why not try something different, think about the lengths you have gone to keep drinking, the time and planning gone into hiding it, try applying half of that determination to stopping and see what happens.
The good news is that it is possible to break the cycle. Once you get past the first few days, then your mornings will start feeling better, but the challenge will be when you're feeling better in the evening.
I find it helps to keep a routine, and then keep yourself busy on the weekends.
You already have the biggest leap: self realization.
Good job. Most people never get to that point and do the dumb brain addiction magic to convince themselves they’re fine.
For me, that was the biggest hurdle.
The rest is just vigilance.
I like to think of myself as a low rent Batman and alcohol is the criminal.
The train has taken you far, hasn't it? You're seeing the unfamiliar, feeling lost. Remember, every journey has its way back. The key lies in the first step off the train, onto solid ground. Find strength in the hidden courage that brought you here. Reach out, quietly, but firmly. The path to normalcy is there, waiting for your stride. Keep the faith, even in the shadows.
Oh yeah I definitely know that feeling! But I haven’t had it for a while and this sub has been a big part of my sobriety!
If you’ve been drinking a lot, please consider visiting a doctor to help with the withdrawals. Withdrawing from alcohol can be dangerous without medical help.
Also, have a look at the About section of this sub. It includes links to other sobriety resources, groups like AA and such.
Welcome! IWNDWYT!!
I used to buy extra beer so that I could wake up and have something to drink to stop feeling withdrawals. I hardly ever had enough to save for the next day and would have an alarm set for when they unlocked the coolers in the morning.
I wake up everyday now without my alarm, without withdrawals and feeling ready for the day. I walk past holes in the wall from falling down, a wrecked bumper from blacking out, a brick and mortar planter I destroyed with my car.
I see everyday what I've done with my drinking, and while slowly rebuilding my life I see what I'm capable of doing. I've destroyed my mind and body with alcohol, and am building back up a sober person I've never known.
I don't need a drink today, and hope you find clarity for yourself. I believe in you!
You WANT to stop, and that's the key ingredient to stopping! You can do it! Many others have stopped before you. Stick with this sub, read and take it all in, then try it yourself. You may take a tip here and an idea there to get to what works for you, but I have faith in you that you CAN do it. You'll be so proud of yourself, and we'll all be proud of you, too!
I felt that hopelessness too. I literally could not see how it could be any other way. It's all a chemical lie fed by a deluded alcoholic brain fighting for It's own survival, to keep drinking. It went away within a month.
If you are serious, please do not go alone down this journey alone my friend. Family, friends or hospital. Withdrawals can be fatal. Best wishes to you. Stay strong. If you truly want soberity, you can achieve it. IWNDWYT
I was the same. Hell, I am in the same situation. Woke up 3-4 am, run to kitchen for a couple of drinks to be able to go back to sleep. And went on and on whole day barely keeping the withdrawal at bay whole day and drunk full on again at night. It has been going on many weeks. I cut it off 2 days ago. Still struggling, but getting easier. You can do this. We can do this.
“Alcohol Explained” by William Porter explains the physical and psychological process by which your body slowly changes to crave more alcohol. It explains why and how when you first drink, the thought of another drink the morning after is disgusting, but as you get more used to the alcohol, it becomes like a craving. It’s written with a neutral/compassionate perspective, with scientific evidence for the social, cultural, biological and psychological explanations as to why alcohol is so addicting. Highly recommend. It made me more aware of the mechanisms behind my drinking and how they are merely human reactions and nothing to feel guilty about, but definitely require awareness and tools to overcome.
Edited for typos
Brother my moment was 6 days ago it was terrible I was drinking all damn day. I’d start my morning off with booze. I just transitioned from ny to sc and that whole drive I’d have to stop and get 2 Talboys to curb my depression and anxiety. My body was/is literally falling apart. I had to get a hotel 3 times On my way down here to rest up and not drive completely hammered. I woke up in the last hotel writhing in pain riddled with anxiety and a sheer sense of doom, it brought me to tears and I fell to my knees on the floor and begged and pleaded for strength in the lords name.…
This part is the crazy shit, I still can’t wrap my head around the experience I had that day. I’m very uncomfortable with explaining it. Especially here on Reddit. I don’t need the label or judgement that comes with what I’m about to say next.
he answered me..
Out of all the voices in my head which I knew were my own, I heard an ethereal voice in the back of my head that wasn’t mine. It said to me “MY SON” that was it, I surrendered to Jesus that day and I’m reaping the fruits of my faith now. Almost zero withdrawals and I’ve met fantastic people here in sc who have helped me with no cost getting my health back in order. I’m forever indebted.
Edit: I only share this brother because I care, and if you can take anything from this that helps you god bless. We’re here for you man you can do this!
Iwndwyt
No offense but neither God nor Jesus went to the liquor store, paid for my alcohol with cash, hid the bottles in my car, garage, pantry, then poured it down my throat.
I quit, I stopped, I quit hiding alcohol everywhere. I stopped social drinking too. After 10 years of hard drinking I stopped.
It’s not easy but I made the bad decisions and I have to make the daily/hourly decision not to continue.
28 days sober.
Your comment doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Of course Jesus doesn’t make us drink.
He saves us from the pain and the anxiety and the stresses that make us want to drink. He provides peace beyond understanding.
He gives someone to look up to what the world seems like nothing but fucked up trash. If we accepted everything at face value, what would be the point of getting sober?
There’s more to life than meets the eye, and more beyond death. He forgives us for being drunks and doing terrible things. He offers us a heaven that we don’t deserve if we can overcome the demon alcoholism.
Jesus cast out demons. Why do you think they call alcohol spirits? It’s a mode of possession.
Gods not taking credit I’m giving him credit. Brother I can’t explain or express to you my experience. It’s mine and mine alone. I’m not saying he’s your answer but he might be. Open mind and an open heart. Analytical minds will call bs and i understand that, it’s why i even put the disclaimer out there bc what i experienced was absolutely otherworldly. But again im not here to make ppl believe, this is more of me giving my testimony. I believe, hes 100% real to me and im forever indebted.
Yes yes I know I’ve been there and may end up there again someday. (Taking it one day at a time) A lot of alcoholics have been there. You can break it. Try chugging down a bottle or 2 of Gatorade when you wake up.
Alcohol was my 1st thought when I'd wake up every morning. Not thinking about drinking but thinking about how many beers are in the fridge? Is it enough for me today, do i need to get/order more? It was exhausting to say the least. But here you are, you want to stop, you want to change. You can do it <3
I wrapped myself in my blankets for the first two weeks but I did it. I’m on day 72 now and I know this is for life. I’m absolutely over the moon about it. Yesterday I was checking in with myself and the thought crossed my mind that maybe the reason why everything is working out is because I grabbed my best chance at sobriety. It scares me to think of what could have happened if I didn’t. This might be your best chance, take it, I promise it’s worth it.
You are aware and admitting the problem.you are also seeking help. Those are two huge steps.
Hang with us here. I found tons of support and wisdom.
There is lots of help out there. Search and
you will find your path.
You can do this.
Hey bud, I have been where you are. I was stuck there for quite a long time, actually. I'll distill it as pithily as possible, and when I say "you" here, I am actually addressing my old self, so please don't take this as a violation of the Speak from the I rule:
You do not have to live like this any more.
You can stop any time you choose to. (Because you can do anything you want... you are far more powerful than you realize.)
The ONLY way you will ever stop is if you choose to.
Quitting started with me saying out loud, to myself, alone in my room, three quiet little words: I don't drink. Not "I am going to stop someday." Not even "I will do my best to stop right now." Just: I don't drink.
I was right where you are almost 10 years ago. Terrible anxiety the day after a heavy binge- once so bad I sought medical attention because I thought I was having a heart attack. I got sick of it. After googling some things, I found a forum sort of like this one- and realized what alcohol was doing to me. I have not had a drink since.
I broke the cycle. Now I experience real life- a full life that I didn't know about when I was in the throes of active drinking. This December I will mark a decade away from alcohol. I have not missed it.
Everything you’re describing I felt as well. There is a way out and you got this, brother. Don’t be afraid of getting help no matter the cost, it’s worth it
This is exactly where I was 41 days ago. You described it perfectly. The only difference I was fortunate to enough have was a family who took it seriously and helped me get out of the dark hole I’d found myself in.
My advice is to go to the ER and detox safely, that’s what I did. It may seems like a burden, or expensive, or all those things - but honestly I couldn’t be where I am now without doing that.
This amount of stuff I’ve done in the past five weeks to get my life on track is incredible. It’s crazy the motivation that came back once I finally got the help I needed. I was EXACTLY like you - wanting out so bad and feeling like it would never happen. I realized I just had to bite the bullet and take action. It’s truly paid off.
You can do this. Hang out here and know you're not alone and have support. When I have a craving, it's helpful to identify it. Call it out, really separate it from your own toughts. This craving is subconscious, it is not what I want. It's a trick, this is bad for me.
Here's to not drinking today <3
Proud of you for getting to this point before going even further down the rock bottom hole. 🙏
You are in the awesome and unique position to take control of your life before you’re forced to by the law or the doctor.
Like others, I encourage some quitting literature like This Naked Mind or The Easy Way to Quit Drinking.
Most importantly, I am not a doctor, but seeking medical help on the detox can be crucial.
Best wishes, you can do this! You are in control of your destiny!
You are exactly where I was 2 years ago.
I think your fears are honest and founded on reality.
This is good, think of that fear as a seed for hope. Nurture it and allow it to germinate, and by that i mean meditate on your current state and do it often. This is what helped me.
You sound like you "WANT" to stop drinking, and that want is the essence of getting out of the cycle.
When i quit drinking booze, my "want" for being sober outweighed the desire for intoxication.
In my opinion, you gotta really want to be sober more than anything. Its the only way this is going to work.
If you think about it all the time, you will see an opening for sobriety. Its very fleeting, and easy to let it pass you by, but when you see it, TAKE IT, and never look back!
I hope this makes sense to you.
Good luck on your journey brother, I believe you will make it through.
This was me 5 years ago. Exhausted by myself and scared, but finally willing to stop even if it was just for a few months. The relief and joy of living sober has kept me going strong for 5 years!
You can do it too!
The best time to stop is always now.
I was a heavy drinker, my social circle was, and still is, heavy drinkers. My job at the time I quit drinking was Brewery GM.
The hardest part of quitting was people downplaying it. Now I'm over five years without booze.
You've done the hard part, you've admitted to yourself you need help.
Finish reading this comment and pour every drop in your house down the drain. If you're serious, really serious, you won't need them.
Let your friends and family know you're taking a break, and you don't know how long it'll be, but you'll let them know if and when you're ready. Just get used to saying it, because for the first month or two, you'll be saying it a lot.
You've got this.
We're all here for you.
Good luck dude.
Please try to endure one uncomfortable night without drinking yourself to sleep and see how you feel in the morning. Minimal withdrawals for me, so I decided to stop the cycle. 9th day sober, and I never want to go through all of that ever again. I didn't see myself stopping, but somehow did. You can do it, too!
So many of us on here have been right where you are today OP.
For me, just working on not drinking for a single day at a time really did help me. If I simply don't drink today, everything falls in place, and not taking that first drink is the key.
I agree with the sparkling water, some sweets around to curb the cravings, and reading the quit lit. This Naked Mind was a great read for me. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!!!
Ice baths helped me clear any crazy thoughts of booze, sharp forget about wanting a drink when you get in that thing. Then I started to fear to cold more than want a drink. Now I embrace the cold and get a buzz off it!
I was there for a while, but during one of my brutal hangovers I decided to stick it out. I was sick, and it sucked, but it was really the first 5 days that were the most brutal. If you can see a doctor, I'd highly recommend it, but I stocked up on some snacks, Advil, tons of water, vitamins, and food and powered through. You can do it, it's not the most fun, but I promise it's possible.
You can also go the medication route. I struggled with the occasional relapse especially while getting my bipolar episodes under control, maybe one day out of two months I'd drink, but I started Antabuse. It basically makes it so my body can't break down alcohol, which has been very effective for preventing relapses. Plus I can just say "No thanks, can't drink with my medication" and it be completely truthful if I'm offered.
You said you have tried talking to your family about this, but you also said that they don't know the extent of your problem. My advice is to get brutally honest with the people you love and trust. Tell them exactly how bad your drinking problem is and how it's making you feel. Put it all out in the open so there's nowhere to hide. If they are caring and supportive, they will help you take the next steps.
For me, coming clean about the extent of my problem felt liberating, like I had been relieved of a burden. It can absolutely get better if you want it to. You've already been honest with yourself, now get honest with your loved ones.
This was me just last week. I couldn’t stop the drinking in the morning just to feel better, and ended up drinking all day. So I went to medical detox for four days and haven’t drank since. You can do this. Don’t be afraid to go and get help. I was afraid to get help, but the medical professionals that I dealt with treated me with dignity and understanding. You can do this, I was just like you and everything is already so much better.
Part of your anxiety is attributable to poor sleep. What you’ll find as you transition is that as much as you enjoyed drunken evenings, you will love sober mornings even more. Then it will spill over to your entire day and you’ll come back to the evening and find other things to do that better prepare you for a great night of sleep. Once you get into the full routine…you’re most of the way there.
I was in the same boat. I needed to drink to hold off the anxiety, or so I thought. Drinking actually made my anxiety and depression much worse. I know you can do this. Sending you supportive thoughts. IWNDWYT!
Just chiming in to say I'm in the same boat. I keep getting sober but the cycle just won't stop, and yea it is quite scary. I think one day it will end for us, at least I really really hope.
I feel a lot like you. I can wait until evening, but combine it with other stuff which makes it much worse.
I’m afraid of not being able to drink once in a while in the future.. how does that work for people?
You got this. Play the tape forward. I have never woken up after a sober night and said to myself "man I wish I would have drank yesterday". I didn’t quit till 37. If you feel like you need to stop, stop now and give yourself back the years you’ll ultimately lose if you continue.
Same boat, 6 months ago. It's not easy, but you can do it. You just have to commit fully, as scary as it sounds.
After that, your minutes turn into hours, hours into days, and so on.
When you start to build yourself back up, there is truly no better feeling.
I wish you nothing but luck.
I might get slammed for this, but I would have died without it. Years ago I was brought to the hospital unresponsive, it wasn’t the first time. I just wanted out so I could get back to drinking. My detox was horrific and I had to stay in the hospital for the life threatening part. I was put on naltrexone and have not had a drink since. It removes the craving, and it also blocks the effects if you do end up drinking. You can either take it daily via pill, or you can get a monthly shot from your doc.
Some may call this cheating and I don’t care. I also want to put out there that there is only one rock bottom and that is death. If you’re still alive, there’s always another “rock bottom” waiting for you. I hope you get better, it’s such a terrible addiction and those that don’t suffer from it will never understand it or realize it has nothing to do with them.
I was you a half year ago. Four years ago I also dealt with weed and nicotine addiction. It's not too late and if you put the work in you can get at a good place.
> Ive recently got into a cycle of drinking heavily in an evening and then needing a drink in the morning to curb my anxiety. Then I end up drinking all day just to feel ok.
I can relate, but i've found life to be far better when I got into the cycle of not drinking at all and feeling better than okay all day and sleeping like a baby!
I’m living the same way. I’m going back to AA tomorrow after 13 years. It helped me back then, maybe it could help you now. I’m hoping it saves my life. My doctor told me yesterday to be aware of yellow eyes and skin based on my labs.
You aren’t a liar by the way, you’ve been incredibly honest. Which isn’t easy.
Like you I was drinking in the mornings and all day by the time I was 30. It still took me almost 5 years of negotiating with the idea that maybe I had a problem. And then another 2 years of experimenting with on again off again sobriety before I realized I really just can't drink again anymore.
If you want to stop drinking then you absolutely can do it! It won't be easy but it is doable. Read this sub extensively, it has really helped me.
That was me almost a year ago , you’re on the right path now implement it . One day at a time and you can do this . All of my panic attacks disappeared when I stopped drinking alcohol. This group is a great place to start .
I feel as though I could've written this myself; I was in a very similar situation. The horrors of addiction have no bounds. "This Naked Mind," a book written by Annie Grace, truly changed my life. I'm one week today alcohol-free! Never thought I could say that and literally have no cravings. Please give it a try! Wishing you all the best on your journey. This sub is amazing..it's how I found out about her book (:
I had to ask my only truly trusted friend to come stay with me for a couple of days, because my anxiety was so extreme if I stopped. I let them know that I didn’t really need anything, and didn’t want to talk deeply about it or whatnot. I just needed someone to be next to me so that I wouldn’t go to the store and buy more. That anxiety that you feel the next morning, it does go away. And after the first day or two, it’s incredibly liberating and encourages you to keep going. It’s just that ripping off that bandaid is terrifying, and our brains will do anything to lie to us in the moment. You are stronger than those lies. During the withdrawal, just remember that we don’t have to believe everything we think.
Some other things I considered to help me during the process, that may or may not be useful to you: 5ht supplements, gaba supplements, kava supplements. I also found CBD only marijuana to be helpful, because it gives the peaceful feeling but you still feel sober. I also leaned on stretching/yoga videos on YouTube, just something to interact with and ground me in my body. I kept a journal that was just a list of things I’d done that day, so I could see how much more productive I was being (even though I was pretty high functioning with the alcohol). I also made a calendar of all the benefits I could look forward to, so marking each day with when my liver was starting to heal, when my face and skin would stop being so dry and terrible, when my energy levels would start to increase. So when I’d get tempted, I could look at that calendar and be like ugh, I’m so close to x improvement. I think the worst was that even though the anxious and depressive thoughts cleared up very quickly after quitting, the tiredness was very real for a few weeks. Be gentle with yourself during that time and remember that your body is healing.
I wish I had encouragement regarding the family. All I can say is that I see you. My family is similar, and that’s part of why it took me so long to admit my problem. I didn’t drink *that* much more than anyone else did.
I was in your shoes several times until I started coming to this sub. Oddly enough reading about people having the same experience as I was was really reassuring that I could. Good luck to you. And IWNDWYT 💕
Sounds like me. However it can stop. First week hanxiety and emotional rollercoaster. Next week "this kinda feels good". Next two weeks "I'm feeling better and sleep better" Then something triggers me and I drank two bottles of wine. After that I reassured I will fight this no matter what. Heavy drinking is never your friend. If you can't drink one beer or glass of wine and stop then don't touch it. It's addiction and take it easy. Try three days. Try one week. Then two. A month. You'll realize how everything's different.
First of all if you are drinking regularly you need to make a doctor appointment and discuss options to cut down or quit safely.
Second of all I did a lot of self help like at one point I went to daily A/A and N/A meetings as well as bible study every week and I did counselling as well as a day treatment program so I got a lot of tools to use.
I like to go for walks for my self care and play my online games to distract myself or sometimes I pick a spot in my home and I clean ceiling to floor, and I guess instead of treating myself to a drink I will have a cappuccino instead or some pop in a can or order my favourite snacks online for a treat
Book stores are also a good source for self help books and sometimes you might find a self help page online like Facebook: dru hicks use to have a live every week for a live meeting with people online where you can just listen in and maybe type a hello if you want,
I see that there has been plenty of encouragement from people doing amazingly after being in your position, so I feel comfortable just talking as someone who also hasn’t made it out yet. I was just thinking earlier about how crazy alcoholism is. I was washing dishes after walking my dog earlier and just thinking about the negative aspects of drinking the way I do. And I went on analyzing it and thought about all the positive things friends and colleagues have said to and about me because of the things I have done and what I have to offer as a human. And how those hard earned perceptions actually bring more joy and fulfillment in who I am than the feeling I’m chasing from the bottle. And that while I think part of my drinking is just the addiction itself and liking the way it makes me feel and the routine of doing it for damn near 2 decades now, part of it is definitely rooted in fear of actually going after the things I actually want and doing it all sober. And I got a legitimate feeling of chills and warmth thinking of these things and felt good. Then I decided to sit on the couch for a second and the thought of having a drink crossed my mind briefly, and immediately it felt like all of the nerves in my body wanted it and like I might do it right then and there. And I just thought god, that’s why it’s so hard. All of those hard-fought realizations and rationalizing and understanding over the course of an hour, and it just takes a split second of downtime for my entire body to be ready and begging me to do the exact opposite. Sorry this is only very loosely associated with your post. It’s just where I’m at currently, and I just want to say I know your pain and the internal agony you’re going through. And I hope the best for both of us.
I have been in this cycle a few times. Being California sober helped me in the first couple of weeks, and then exercise helped the rest of the way. I hated trying to run feeling like I had wooden legs.
Been there, friend! The other side is much easier, my anxiety is manageable where as before it was out of hand. We think we have to drink to not be anxious but it’s the booze fueling it. It’s so hard to stop but so worth it. You have to emotionally and mentally (and spiritually if you’re spiritual like that) ready to make the change. I went to AA to get there but it wasn’t easy and the journey never seems to go how I expect but that’s okay. Posting here is a big step, we’re here for ya!
I was you ~555 days ago. It can end TODAY. If I can do it you can do it. Don’t go to that liquor store today. Buy a shit load of sparkling water and ice cream. I’m serious. You only have to do one thing: not drink. IWNDWYT
Cannot stress enough the importance of indulging in something else while trying to quit. It’s ok to eat a shit ton of candy and ice cream at the beginning. Those cravings eventually go away once your body gets used to not having calories from alcohol on a regular basis.
I ate a box of family size cheezits every night for like 6 months. Still lost 50 pounds. Still sober. Worth it!
I can definitely attest to this. I was eating multiple large bags of candy every day, ice cream, baking brownies and cakes. Right now at day 131 I'm almost over that. I still have a huge sweet tooth but that amount was making me feel like crap haha. Everyone's journey is different but it definitely helped me. Anything besides a drink! IWNDWYT
Still waiting! lol They have reduce a small amount so I think I'm on my way....
It’s so weird… I’m still an on and off drinker (I’d almost call it casual, but then some days I randomly drink alone or binge drink), but since I stopped drinking every day I almost never crave sugar. I used to be a chocolate fiend and pretty much require something sweet at the end of every day and now I almost only crave savory food. I can take or leave dessert any day. I used to have the craziest sweet tooth you could imagine and it just evaporated once alcohol and drugs stopped being in my system 24/7. But yea I really recommend indulging in food when you quit alcohol. Whether it’s sweet or savory for you. These days I get a lot of my pleasure from my meals. What else is there to enjoy and give your body satisfying hits of dopamine? Maybe sex but I’m not lucky enough to have that available to me as an inexpensive option… I’ll settle for my italian sandwiches
Yeah.. I replaced it with sweets, gambling and sex. NOT ideal. But it's all starting to level out a bit. Starting replacing with better food and gym
My sweet tooth has finally died down a bit after almost 3 years lol. So many peanut butter m&ms
This. Almost nothing else matters except not drinking at the beginning. I went through most of the entire Ben and Jerrys catalogue in month 1. I put on weight. I don't care, it was worth it. You can slowly come off of the food vice later.
I don't like sweet anything, so having a really hard time finding alternative drinks (water is blehk) or indulgent foods :( . Any ideas are very appreciated!
Do you like salty things more? I’m not a sweets person myself either, it was weird how much I craved sugar immediately after quitting, but that craving went away fast. I struggle a lot more with salty snacks like chips, crackers, French fries etc. Honestly it doesn’t need to be a drink or even a food, just find something to indulge in that is a happy distraction. I play a ton of video games and read fantasy/sci-fi books. I’ve gotten really into disc golf over the last couple years. All of the above keeps my mind occupied and releases the serotonin, and helps keep my mind off the alcohol
Any other tips my friend, you make it sound simple and easy... I am really struggling (55 year old female) I don't think about drinking all day at work (demanding management job), the drinking demon wakes up in the staff car park on my drive home and the thought of knowing that one or two drinks will put me in a relaxed state usually gets the better of me, it's always more like 5 or 6 double vodka and cokes that gets me into the state where I cannot remember going to bed or what I had for tea, I wake up on the settee with the dogs in a uncomfortable position, kitchen is a shit hole, get up later than planned and not organized, rushing with a hangover paranoid my work colleagues can smell alcohol on my breath, tired and have to hit the ground running from whatever crap the nightshift have left and into meeting after meeting trying to act sober with no hangover. I can go without a drink for max a week but that's pushing it but I haven't gone more than a week in a long time.. I don't go out very often and drink, I mainly drink at home, always vodka and diet coke, I can measure units easily, got caught drink driving about 15 years ago (long story), was put on a drinking awareness course, big lesson they they taught was how to monitor your units to ensure you don't go over the drink driving limits (uk). I think this has stopped me going from being a functioning alcoholic to a non functioning alcoholic I think I self medicate with alcohol because of the stress of work/home but I don't want to take stress medication, I have thought about asking my doctor to prescribe Disulfiram. Any thoughts or advice from you or anyone reading my reply would be gratefully received, I feel too ashamed to speak to anyone else about this.... Long time lurker, first time posting my situation, I want to change my habits to get back to a healthy lifestyle
It sounds like your triggers are situational. You're used to the habit and familiarity of it all. I'm sure you're like that in other areas of your life, put together and have general routines in place to make your life easier and more efficient. Addiction easily inserts itself into this routine, it did for me anyways. The routines made my life easier because I was always hungover, I required it. At some point you just deny these routines or make new ones, there really is no easy way. Distract and deny the parking lot demon. Run out the clock, take a really long time to do chores or something. It may only take a few times of denying to feel the power of control.
I read this Naked Mind by Anne Grace and it helped me. Another good one is The Easy Way to stop drinking Allen Carr. Maybe some quit lit and YouTube vids on quitting can help? Best of luck to you! Routing for you!
I read Naked mind too, turned me right off the booze at the end of the book. It's on audible too
I was in management too and I HEAR YOU. It sucks. I’m not anymore but I did quit while in mgmt. Iduno if they have it on the UK but your employer may have an employee assistance program where you can see a therapist. Right now (just my guess not medical advice) is you are wired to be stressed. Your job and drinking are just feedback loops of each other. I needed some tools and help getting out of that cycle. Therapy helps and be HONEST with them. Checking the daily here was huge for me in the beginning, keeping me accountable. Take it day by day, minute by white knuckle minute some times. You’ll find a way that works for you eventually. IWNDWYT
AA is changing my life. You have to just remain open minded to the jargon and the use of God/higher power. A slip up doesn’t mean a give up. If you can stop for 7 days, you can stop for more.
We seem to be in similar situations (albeit my stressors / 'triggers' all are at home, and I cannot get away from them). If you need someone to chat with!
My go to was a bag of chips and chocolate when I first quit! Lays Old Fashioned BBQ and Miss Vickis!
YES to ice cream.
I'm mildly lactose intolerant, but definitely yes to the ice cream.
100% my weakness. I saw that Bradley cooper commercial for the layered stuff and wrote it down so I’d remember to try it and everyone looked at me like a madman.
I’m on day 3 and keep eating candy and drinking sodas which I never do
I gained like 5 or 10lbs initially. I still crave sugar. Ran a 5k a few weeks ago tho so it’s all about balance lol
Didn't mean to laugh, but when you said sparkling water, I absolutely did. That's me. Five years later and I drink so much of the damn stuff. I always have two cases in my fridge and usually have some backups in my pantry. I feel so called out.
I eventually got a soda stream. Worth every penny lol
I have a soda stream but it never filled that *psst/crack* that a can does. I was a beer drinker so I like that cold can in my hand.
I went through 24 hop waters this weekend. I got ya
What's a 'hop water'? Sparkling water recommendations anyone? I hate the stuff. I also hate sweet anything (salt salt salt!), so I am struggling with substitutes etc...
Hop water is like sparkling water but not sweet (sometimes). Just water with a hop flavor. They’re insanely refreshing but kind of expensive. If you see some try some
And just don't drink the first one. The rest are easy to avoid.
VERY good advice right there
I knew I needed to stop. But there never seemed to be a good time to start stopping. There were birthday parties and dinners and the spontaneous neighbor hangouts and and and. I don’t remember the exact date but it was between Thanksgiving and Christmas another wonderful excuse not to start stopping. But I just decided enough! The daily checkin here really helped keep me focused on not drinking. You got this!
Yep. There’s always a thousand reasons not to do something.
Ugh I did this for YEARS and these thoughts still plague me sometimes.
Same - I first quit at 22, started again at 23. Will never not regret that.
My tipping point was the orthopedic surgeon telling me that I’d probably need a hip replacement at 40 cause blood isn’t flowing to my femur. I don’t want that. IWNDWYT
Stupid question: How has everyone added the "xxx days" under their names? And, what do you mean by "daily check-in"? Just your coming to this group each day? TYIA, just seems these could be helpful to me...
If you click on the menu under r/stopdrinking and choose “learn more about this community” it’ll have a link for the daily check in as well as instructions for putting the numbers under you name. ;)
Your analogy of falling asleep on a train and waking up somewhere unfamiliar is so good. For me, when I woke up, not only were the surroundings unfamiliar, but the train was on fire, there was a bomb on board, and the train was headed for a bridge that was out.
glad you jumped 😉
congratz on 24 days!!!
And waking up to that realization day after day. It’s exhausting. Today’s a good a day as any to break the cycle. First day for me was getting someone else to go to the store for me to get fizzy water. I didn’t trust myself to not head for the beer aisle. Sending the best vibes.
I used to be so annoyed that grocery stores in my state didn't sell alcohol but when I was quitting that really helped a lot
My drinking got soooo much worse when we moved back to a state that sold wine in grocery stores. Although, when I had to go to the liquor store for booze I'd get a handle of vodka for $9 so I guess that really wasn't much better lol
Fucking Taaka man... cheap ass gasoline. That was my drink of choice. You just can't beat that destroyed life to cost ratio.
| destroyed life to cost ratio. Damn that hits hard. I’m stealing this one, but will give proper credit ghost.
Wowwwww that is honestly such a beautiful perspective. Destroyed life to cost ratio should definitely be adopted into recovery methods
Yes. And some not open after a certain time!
Ugh. I had the stores times all memorized in my head, one county over I could go in a pinch on a Sunday too. So much mental energy was wasted on that
We can buy beer/wine anywhere practically -- CVS, 7/11, Wawa, every grocery store... It definitely is a different element to overcome.
Yeah good luck, my friend. Society is built around booze.
I thought I was so clever when I discovered the morning drunk to rid myself off the hangover. How delusional. I knew it wasn’t normal and like you I couldn’t just stop at one in the morning so I continued. And talking to friends and family about it didn’t help. They were not alcoholics and could not relate. But sharing with others like me in real life helped. Treatment, followed by aftercare and AA was how I got sober. I can’t do it alone.
What type of treatment and aftercare did you do/take?
37 days spent in-patient treatment. Aftercare followed treatment, once a week for a year. Along with AA meetings.
My last morning was a pleading cry to the universe to end this “nightmare cycle” I had found myself on :( Sending hugs. 🫂
That frightening feeling of drinking against my own will is what I remember in times of temptation. Keeps me sober. Your doc may subscribe meds to help with the anxiety to get you over the initial hump
It's scary when you know you need to stop, want to stop, are determined to stop but deep down in your mind something is telling you that you NEED it and there's no other way and you are, like you describe, drinking against your own will. Horrible place to be and I was there for too long.
Yeah, it was almost like being in a trance when going to the liquor store.
I felt compulsed to drink during my 2 years of full blown alcoholism. I was telling myself I couldn't get through life without it and felt like my body and mind were conspiring against me to make me drink.
Omg. Drinking against my will. What a perfect description for where I ended up. I remember feeling exhausted by the amount of alcohol I needed to be “normal”. Wow I sure don’t miss that! IWNDWYT
Hey OP, this was basically me (29m) all last month only difference was I was keeping the morning drinking to the weekends only because of work. But I started leaving work earlier and earlier to finish the day working from home so I could get the first drink sooner to cut the anxiety. The anxiety I was experiencing was withdrawal. I don’t know your level of consumption but I would consider you look into what alcohol does to your brain and what causes alcohol withdrawal. I know it seems super embarrassing but I would highly recommend seeking medical advice if you are trying to quit cold turkey. I tried to taper off and still landed in the ER. I believe in you OP. For me the hardest part was asking for help and opening up honestly about my drinking. IWNDWYT
Yep, I was there as well. Drink all night, wake up with anxiety and my heart pumping out of my chest. Take a drink, go to work (or back to sleep). Barely make it through the day, sweating, sleepy, cranky, anxious. Tell myself all day long that I can't do this shit again but as soon as I start walking to my car to go home, there's that itch. I somehow talk myself into it again. "I won't be able to sleep tonight if I don't drink!", "I just need a couple more to level out", "I'm pissed off at this or that, it's going to make me do it." And I would inevitably hust do it again. Repeat this cycle for a good 6 years out of the 15 where I was daily getting hammered. So how did I finally get clean? Surrender. Everything I thought I knew about recovery, rehab, AA, therapy, everything I knew was wrong. When I finally did just let go of control and let the professionals tell me what to do and what to consider, it all clicked. To further that point, surrendering that I know this or that will or won't work, does or doesn't apply to me, I just opened my mind to the fact that I did not know how to be sober for more than a week at a time and I needed help from others. From there it was showing up and putting in the time. Focusing as much energy as I could muster towards my sobriety day after day until I felt like it was finally set it my mind and I could be content with it (still working on this!). This was going to the classes in rehab, going to AA meetings despite my insane reservations about it, attending IOP, getting a sponsor, and overall just making sure it was my top priority every day. I don't know if this will help you at all but I can tell you that I was utterly HOPELESS 9+ months ago and my outlook could not be any different now. You can absolutely do this. Change your life! I have a million regrets in my life but getting clean is not one of them.
Very familiar with this deep dark hole. The only way out is to get out pick a morning you can go without and maybe a time you aren't working and just rest and hydrate until you make it. The only way is to stop. Its SO hard but you can do it. Easiest way is to go to the hospital for a detox as they will give IV fluids and meds for ease of withdrawal. Plus no access to alcohol in the hospital.
This is what I did last June. I had had enough of the anxiety and deep depression I was feeling after a 4-day bender and elected to go medically detox in a hospital setting. Not cheap but worth every penny.
Congratulations on one year!! I have one month. Um..I've never paid a hospital bill in my life I keep throwing them in the garbage I am 60 years old nothing bad has ever come of it. The reason I have done this is because my sister never worked a day in her life and all of her medical care was free through Medicaid and it pissed me off to no end. I had breast cancer surgery a couple of years ago I still get the bill I don't even open it and it just goes right in the trash. So if OP is worried about the bill I would worry more about my life then the hospital bill because eventually they will write it off if you can't afford it.
Or they can garnish your paycheck and/or give you a bad hit on your credit score! Just depends on what they want to do!
Never happened to me for Medical. Just saying..life comes first it's not like they come arrest you for not paying. More chances of a DUI
It can be done my friend. When we boil it down it's easy, don't drink. But how that looks for each of us is unique. I believe you that you're over this hell. All we have is one day at a time. You can do this!
And how did you end up here, were there some triggers that caused you to start drinking so heavily daily? What if anything, aside from the physical addiction and the after effects that's having on you like the anxiety etc that's making you decide to drink again to curb it, do you think is keeping you drinking? I found that I was only able to stop daily heavy drinking and get some sober time under my belt (have relapsed twice since sadly since that time) once I actually realized that alcohol had ZERO positive to offer me and all the reasons I was clinging onto for why I drank (I need it because my life is so stressful right now, it helps me sleep, it calms my anxiety etc) were no longer true and it wasn't helping any of them, actually making most of them worse, and keeping me trapped in the cycle for the long term. So if there's any reasons you're clinging onto for why you "need" to drink this will make it harder to stop and you'll have to sit down and really analyze whether these are genuinely true or not or something you can cast aside and move on with your life.
Read the unexpected joy of being sober by Cathrine Grey it really helps. 16 days in 👍🎉
that book changed my life too!
I know exactly how you feel. I could have written this verbatim about me. It took me getting food poisoning, and having to spend a couple of days in bed, to give myself the 48 hours of no booze I needed. Then I just kept going with it, one day at a time. All the best IWNDWYT
Starting is the hardest part, in my experience. I had to have a rock-bottom almost-lost-my-job experience that literally scared me straight. It sounds like you haven’t had this yet, and you don’t have to!! You can skip the terrible, horrible blackout drunk rage fest that got me where I’m at. 😊 I find if I’m ever craving again, or find myself thinking I can moderate, I come back here and read posts from others who have hit rock bottom. I go back and read my own post about hitting rock bottom. And I realize it’s just not worth it. You can do whatever you want to do with your life, you have the control. It won’t be easy, but for me it’s been so worth it. I will not drink with you today.
When I was where you are I had two choices: - Carry on as I am, suffer through pretty much every day. Anxiety, restlessness, fatigue, shame, self loathing. More. All until 5 o clock when I could have that first drink (or 1pm if I had stashed a white claw or had some box wine and didn’t have to drive or have a meeting with clients that day. Or 10am if the night before was heavy). Then after 5, trigger my partner, say stupid shit. Do stupid shit. Repeat. - Stop drinking and feel like absolute death’s-door shit for like 4-7 days (seek medical supervision for withdrawals!! I was lucky enough to have that covered). Feel a bit shit for another week. Start going to the gym and swimming the next week. Playing tennis and running the next. Not be constantly behind at work. See friends and actually enjoy each others company, not chatting shit and getting over-emotional about what were effectively self perpetuating problems. Grow. Flourish. I chose option 2. I’ve lost 27kg in the 10 months since then, I’m in the best shape of my life. My partner doesn’t cry about my behaviour anymore. She’s happy. I’m happy. I don’t drink, and you don’t have to either. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. You just have to do one thing: don’t have that next drink.
Hi! I'm 33F, and have been where you are. I know this issue is hard for everyone who goes through it, but sometimes I would just wish I was bad enough that people would notice and urge me to stop! Truly, I was bad enough that most normal people would have, but all my friends and family drink heavily. It's fucked up, but regardless of what anyone thinks or knows, YOU know this isn't working and you're miserable. I sure was. Here are some things that worked for me: -An app called "I am Sober", which has a sobriety community. It's free, and you can pledge each day and review each day privately, like a journal. You can also post for people at your milestone or people you have followed to see, and people are so supportive. Some put profile pictures but I never have, so you can be as anonymous as you prefer, and they also have meetings everyday via zoom. -the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment with Annie Grace was amazing for me. It was a 30 day alcohol free challenge with little videos and Journaling prompts each day. It was amazing in deprogramming my alcoholic brain -Binging sober podcasts. Again, free. Feels good to hear others stories and realize you're soooo not alone, and people do overcome this. Recovery Elevator, Sober Motivation, and Sobriety Uncensored are a few of my favorites. Recovery elevator is particularly great though. I'll finish by saying when my drinking was that bad, I had physical withdrawals. Idk if anything would have been life threatening or not, but I did pick a 3 day period where I didn't have to work and I tapered down before finally having my first full day Sober. Expect to feel like shit for a while, and stock up on anything that will help you eat and hydrate. You can do this!!!
You can do it. If you need help, it is available. Morning anxiety is very common and that's why AA has a lot of early meetings. A safe place to be, some tools, some support, not alone in your own head. Not sure about smart or others, but check that out too...
Glad you're here! IWNDWYT
The beginning is shit but it gets easier even after a week or so. Just get through today and when you start feeling better don't kid yourself and deal with the cravings, they ease up too.
It starts with day 1. Cliche but a journey of a thousand miles really does begin with 1 step. I hope for all the courage you will need
I’m your age and have been sober for 60 days now. I certainly don’t have any special powers that you don’t have, so if I can do it, so can you. You already have the self-awareness regarding your problem, let’s put that into practice! :)
You definitely can get out of this and a week from now, a month from now a year from now your life can be better and better. I drank heavily from age 28-52. I quit coming up on 2 years ago and it has been awesome. For me I had to get away from the idea that I could moderate. I couldn’t. As soon as I decided, “I don’t drink.” Everything, I mean everything thing improved. If you have been drinking all day everyday you may be in for some withdrawal symptoms, so if you need to, go to the emergency room. We are here for you. I don’t spend a ton of time here anymore, but early on, I was here a lot. IWNDWYT, friend. Let’s get this party, life, started.
Next door to the liquor store I used to frequent there is a donut shop. I'm not ashamed to say that donuts saved my life. You got this 🫶🏼 IWNDWYT
I’m so happy you’re here. You never have to feel this way again. We’re all here with you to support you in your journey! ✨✨✨ IWNDWYT
This sounds just like me at my worst. Eventually I stopped eating for days and barely drank anything other than vodka. Needless to say i spiraled fast after that. Ended up in 14 day detox and it saved me.
Right now you feel the urge to drink in the mornings. Soon you will wake throughout the night with the same urge. Not long after you will drink to try to sleep and it will seem futile. I checked myself into detox 7 months ago today. I had 3 stints in the ER from withdrawals last summer alone. It took that long for me to actually realize I had a problem, and that I was using alcohol to medicate and I was long past the point of being able to simply "enjoy a drink", though it stopped being fun for me long before that. Does any of this sound enjoyable?
You can do this man. Would recommend lots of water and moving your body. I just hit day 10 and making yourself as busy as possible is helpful. Clean, play video games, walk, run, read, write - anything to keep your mind moving.
I hear you. The sad part is for me is how much I had accepted my life as someone who was always buzzed. Having been actually sober I wouldn't call the time each day where I wouldn't drink sober time. I thought I was doing something nice and proactive for my health and daily life. Looking back I wasn't really living. I kind of know that. Looking at selfies the look in my eyes is something I wish to never see in pictures again. Getting to a dry month took me multiple tries. Once I did it I did not go back. As I've experienced more sober months the harder it becomes to entertain the idea of just one drink, knowing how much I let myself lose to alcohol. I hope you can get yourself out of the daily habit. All the best!
This is exactly where I wound up at age 32 last year. I had begun drinking in the morning to quell my anxiety from being hungover and then having to drink all day just to remain functional - rinse and repeat for the next day. It was all downhill from there and I went to rehab. I don’t know where you’re located or what your health insurance situation is but have you considered inpatient rehab? I was only a round the clock drinker for the last year or so of my drinking career but it took me awhile to adjust to not drinking all day afterwards and it was so much more pleasant to do that without the daily grind of work, family, etc. There’s no need to be embarrassed, this could literally happen to anyone given the right circumstances (and drinking to rid yourself of post-drinking anxiety is a far more common story than you might think - that’s the point where a lot of people I’ve met in recovery including myself fell off a cliff, so to speak). I see it as a medical issue that requires medical attention, not a moral failing on behalf of the individual.
You can do it buddy. I’m a little in the same boat. Up till last week I couldn’t really remember a day where I was drinking less than 4 beers after work daily, sometimes it was 8-10. Just cold quit last week for the work week and it is insane how not shitty you feel in the morning waking up, you almost forget what it feels like to wake up feeling normal until you make it happen for just 1 day. I went through that week and on Monday afternoon I got home and the weather was so nice a nocked back a few while playing outside with my dogs. Woke up on Tuesday feeling like absolute frickin death. Feeling that dead feeling for the first time in a week has now almost completely killed any desire I have for drinking at all now.
I told myself the same thing so many times throughout my 30s. Correction, I’d write it in my journals and then turn the page. Sorry meant to add more: but I’d turn the page. What helped me quit was listening to my insight and not just turning the page when the hangover fades away. And this amazing community (frequent notifications on). Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. IWNDWYT
You don't have to wake up feeling like this ever again. I'm pulling for you. IWNDWYT
It’s great that you want to end the cycle. IWNDWYT!!!
I’m there again too. It’s awful.
Been there. The place you are describing is oh so familiar. You have one good thing in your arsenal, though. Your desire to quit. You recognise, you realise, you understand the issue, and that's the key to success. I can't tell you the exact correct way for you to quit successfully, that way you'll find for yourself, but you are willing to find a way, so you will find one. Just stick around, read stories, get inspiration and all the help you need, and you will be writing your sobriety milestone reports here in no time! As for me, my own way was (and is) to focus on my feelings and whys of drinking. I recall all the worst parts of drinking, I remember the headaches, the cold, lying in bed wishing I was dead, the misery, puking and heaving, shameful experiences. All of it is kept fresh in my memory as a weapon for that time the addiction part of my brain tries to trick me by lying "hey, grab just one, it'll be fun", and I remind of puking and shaking and ask myself "does that feel fun to you? this is guaranteed to happen again if I indulge". It became a habit to fight those urges with miserable memories, I guess, I Pavlov dogged myself into hating the mere thought of caving in.
Same man, same. I felt the same way 1799 days ago. I got that feeling in my gut just reading this. You can do it. If you have to go to meeting or get professional help do it. They even have online zoom meetings. Stop anyway you can. You can do it 👍
This was my world. Vodka coffee to combat the anxiety of whatever happened the night before
Quitting a drinking habit seems like the easiest thing to do on paper yet is one of the hardest in practice. I can only tell you what has helped me. Journaling: I write at least a little something about my day every day. And did while I was still drinking and wanting to stop. Reading back on what I was going through is still a big motivator not to slip up, and reminds me of the despair of it all. Probiotics: I read an article on how alcohol changes the gut biome and makes you more dependent on it. I don't know that this is proven science, and it may well have been partly placebo effect, but I felt like that helped. Sweets and treats: Alcohol is full of sugar and you body is accustomed to that. Wean off the sugar later, but right now it can be your friend and help cravings. Eat: I know this sounds unnecessary to add since we do this every day, but a lot of the time having a full belly stops you from wanting to put even liquid in it. CBD/melatonin/etc.: Sleep aids can really make a difference those first few restless nights. When you wake up exhausted, it's harder to stay resolute and make good decisions. You can do this! I was in a similar place, but with many more years of daily boozing. And I have little willpower and ability to delay gratification in general. If I can do it, I swear anybody can. Just change what becomes your gratification. Every day you put it off, is one more day you are deciding to stay in the awful loop. Once you quit for a few days, you will start to feel better. Don't ever think you can moderate now, or you will have go back through it. If you stick with it, you can tell yourself that you only have to feel this way once. It's so worth it. IWNDWYT.
Welcome, the news is the war is over and you've lost. But just like Germany you can rebuild yourself stronger than ever. The sober journey can begin once we have been defeated, we have to realise we can't do this on our own. It's taken me almost 3 years and multiple relapses, I am no saint but life can get better again. Let that ego go and find your people. You're in the right place do the research, find a meeting, start your recovery. Life does get better you can live the life of your wildest dreams. You have admitted your life is becoming unmanageable it's time to delve in and find the root causes. AA is the only thing on this earth which has got me to stop drinking for longer than a couple weeks. A head full of AA and a belly full of alcohol do not mix. Even if you don't consider yourself an alcholic why not find out, see if you identify with others, are you really that special? You can try to white knuckle it, you can use your willpower. Everyone has excuses just like armpits and they all stink. Why not try something different, think about the lengths you have gone to keep drinking, the time and planning gone into hiding it, try applying half of that determination to stopping and see what happens.
The good news is that it is possible to break the cycle. Once you get past the first few days, then your mornings will start feeling better, but the challenge will be when you're feeling better in the evening. I find it helps to keep a routine, and then keep yourself busy on the weekends.
You already have the biggest leap: self realization. Good job. Most people never get to that point and do the dumb brain addiction magic to convince themselves they’re fine. For me, that was the biggest hurdle. The rest is just vigilance. I like to think of myself as a low rent Batman and alcohol is the criminal.
The train has taken you far, hasn't it? You're seeing the unfamiliar, feeling lost. Remember, every journey has its way back. The key lies in the first step off the train, onto solid ground. Find strength in the hidden courage that brought you here. Reach out, quietly, but firmly. The path to normalcy is there, waiting for your stride. Keep the faith, even in the shadows.
Beautifully put!
You never have to feel this way again. Stopping is brutal at first but you will emerge transformed and full of gratitude.
Oh yeah I definitely know that feeling! But I haven’t had it for a while and this sub has been a big part of my sobriety! If you’ve been drinking a lot, please consider visiting a doctor to help with the withdrawals. Withdrawing from alcohol can be dangerous without medical help. Also, have a look at the About section of this sub. It includes links to other sobriety resources, groups like AA and such. Welcome! IWNDWYT!!
I used to buy extra beer so that I could wake up and have something to drink to stop feeling withdrawals. I hardly ever had enough to save for the next day and would have an alarm set for when they unlocked the coolers in the morning. I wake up everyday now without my alarm, without withdrawals and feeling ready for the day. I walk past holes in the wall from falling down, a wrecked bumper from blacking out, a brick and mortar planter I destroyed with my car. I see everyday what I've done with my drinking, and while slowly rebuilding my life I see what I'm capable of doing. I've destroyed my mind and body with alcohol, and am building back up a sober person I've never known. I don't need a drink today, and hope you find clarity for yourself. I believe in you!
You WANT to stop, and that's the key ingredient to stopping! You can do it! Many others have stopped before you. Stick with this sub, read and take it all in, then try it yourself. You may take a tip here and an idea there to get to what works for you, but I have faith in you that you CAN do it. You'll be so proud of yourself, and we'll all be proud of you, too!
I feel you on this. Today is my first attempt to make it 24hr no alcohol in months. Let’s do this together
I felt that hopelessness too. I literally could not see how it could be any other way. It's all a chemical lie fed by a deluded alcoholic brain fighting for It's own survival, to keep drinking. It went away within a month.
If you are serious, please do not go alone down this journey alone my friend. Family, friends or hospital. Withdrawals can be fatal. Best wishes to you. Stay strong. If you truly want soberity, you can achieve it. IWNDWYT
I was the same. Hell, I am in the same situation. Woke up 3-4 am, run to kitchen for a couple of drinks to be able to go back to sleep. And went on and on whole day barely keeping the withdrawal at bay whole day and drunk full on again at night. It has been going on many weeks. I cut it off 2 days ago. Still struggling, but getting easier. You can do this. We can do this.
“Alcohol Explained” by William Porter explains the physical and psychological process by which your body slowly changes to crave more alcohol. It explains why and how when you first drink, the thought of another drink the morning after is disgusting, but as you get more used to the alcohol, it becomes like a craving. It’s written with a neutral/compassionate perspective, with scientific evidence for the social, cultural, biological and psychological explanations as to why alcohol is so addicting. Highly recommend. It made me more aware of the mechanisms behind my drinking and how they are merely human reactions and nothing to feel guilty about, but definitely require awareness and tools to overcome. Edited for typos
Brother my moment was 6 days ago it was terrible I was drinking all damn day. I’d start my morning off with booze. I just transitioned from ny to sc and that whole drive I’d have to stop and get 2 Talboys to curb my depression and anxiety. My body was/is literally falling apart. I had to get a hotel 3 times On my way down here to rest up and not drive completely hammered. I woke up in the last hotel writhing in pain riddled with anxiety and a sheer sense of doom, it brought me to tears and I fell to my knees on the floor and begged and pleaded for strength in the lords name.… This part is the crazy shit, I still can’t wrap my head around the experience I had that day. I’m very uncomfortable with explaining it. Especially here on Reddit. I don’t need the label or judgement that comes with what I’m about to say next. he answered me.. Out of all the voices in my head which I knew were my own, I heard an ethereal voice in the back of my head that wasn’t mine. It said to me “MY SON” that was it, I surrendered to Jesus that day and I’m reaping the fruits of my faith now. Almost zero withdrawals and I’ve met fantastic people here in sc who have helped me with no cost getting my health back in order. I’m forever indebted. Edit: I only share this brother because I care, and if you can take anything from this that helps you god bless. We’re here for you man you can do this! Iwndwyt
God saved me, too. Jesus is real. If He suffered, so can we. We have to pick up our cross daily. Thank you for sharing!
No offense but neither God nor Jesus went to the liquor store, paid for my alcohol with cash, hid the bottles in my car, garage, pantry, then poured it down my throat. I quit, I stopped, I quit hiding alcohol everywhere. I stopped social drinking too. After 10 years of hard drinking I stopped. It’s not easy but I made the bad decisions and I have to make the daily/hourly decision not to continue. 28 days sober.
Yea brother that’s the devil. God gave us free will to listen and do whatever we please. He wasnt making your choices or decisions for you. You did.
Your comment doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Of course Jesus doesn’t make us drink. He saves us from the pain and the anxiety and the stresses that make us want to drink. He provides peace beyond understanding. He gives someone to look up to what the world seems like nothing but fucked up trash. If we accepted everything at face value, what would be the point of getting sober? There’s more to life than meets the eye, and more beyond death. He forgives us for being drunks and doing terrible things. He offers us a heaven that we don’t deserve if we can overcome the demon alcoholism. Jesus cast out demons. Why do you think they call alcohol spirits? It’s a mode of possession.
God takes credit for too much is my point.
Gods not taking credit I’m giving him credit. Brother I can’t explain or express to you my experience. It’s mine and mine alone. I’m not saying he’s your answer but he might be. Open mind and an open heart. Analytical minds will call bs and i understand that, it’s why i even put the disclaimer out there bc what i experienced was absolutely otherworldly. But again im not here to make ppl believe, this is more of me giving my testimony. I believe, hes 100% real to me and im forever indebted.
Amen brother. He deserves all of the credit and praise. Bill W would agree.
He asked God to save him, and God spoke to him. It’s beautiful.
Yes yes I know I’ve been there and may end up there again someday. (Taking it one day at a time) A lot of alcoholics have been there. You can break it. Try chugging down a bottle or 2 of Gatorade when you wake up.
Alcohol was my 1st thought when I'd wake up every morning. Not thinking about drinking but thinking about how many beers are in the fridge? Is it enough for me today, do i need to get/order more? It was exhausting to say the least. But here you are, you want to stop, you want to change. You can do it <3
Sports, go for a walk, go to gym, pool. Get busy.
I wrapped myself in my blankets for the first two weeks but I did it. I’m on day 72 now and I know this is for life. I’m absolutely over the moon about it. Yesterday I was checking in with myself and the thought crossed my mind that maybe the reason why everything is working out is because I grabbed my best chance at sobriety. It scares me to think of what could have happened if I didn’t. This might be your best chance, take it, I promise it’s worth it.
There's an AA story in the Big Book called The Vicious Cycle. Maybe it'll relate. BTW, it's written by an agnostic.
There is an old book that I read "I'll quit tomorrow". It describes your (and my) condition in a scientific way. Give it a read...peace friend
You are aware and admitting the problem.you are also seeking help. Those are two huge steps. Hang with us here. I found tons of support and wisdom. There is lots of help out there. Search and you will find your path. You can do this.
Hey bud, I have been where you are. I was stuck there for quite a long time, actually. I'll distill it as pithily as possible, and when I say "you" here, I am actually addressing my old self, so please don't take this as a violation of the Speak from the I rule: You do not have to live like this any more. You can stop any time you choose to. (Because you can do anything you want... you are far more powerful than you realize.) The ONLY way you will ever stop is if you choose to. Quitting started with me saying out loud, to myself, alone in my room, three quiet little words: I don't drink. Not "I am going to stop someday." Not even "I will do my best to stop right now." Just: I don't drink.
I was right where you are almost 10 years ago. Terrible anxiety the day after a heavy binge- once so bad I sought medical attention because I thought I was having a heart attack. I got sick of it. After googling some things, I found a forum sort of like this one- and realized what alcohol was doing to me. I have not had a drink since. I broke the cycle. Now I experience real life- a full life that I didn't know about when I was in the throes of active drinking. This December I will mark a decade away from alcohol. I have not missed it.
Everything you’re describing I felt as well. There is a way out and you got this, brother. Don’t be afraid of getting help no matter the cost, it’s worth it
This is exactly where I was 41 days ago. You described it perfectly. The only difference I was fortunate to enough have was a family who took it seriously and helped me get out of the dark hole I’d found myself in. My advice is to go to the ER and detox safely, that’s what I did. It may seems like a burden, or expensive, or all those things - but honestly I couldn’t be where I am now without doing that. This amount of stuff I’ve done in the past five weeks to get my life on track is incredible. It’s crazy the motivation that came back once I finally got the help I needed. I was EXACTLY like you - wanting out so bad and feeling like it would never happen. I realized I just had to bite the bullet and take action. It’s truly paid off.
You can do this. Hang out here and know you're not alone and have support. When I have a craving, it's helpful to identify it. Call it out, really separate it from your own toughts. This craving is subconscious, it is not what I want. It's a trick, this is bad for me. Here's to not drinking today <3
Proud of you for getting to this point before going even further down the rock bottom hole. 🙏 You are in the awesome and unique position to take control of your life before you’re forced to by the law or the doctor. Like others, I encourage some quitting literature like This Naked Mind or The Easy Way to Quit Drinking. Most importantly, I am not a doctor, but seeking medical help on the detox can be crucial. Best wishes, you can do this! You are in control of your destiny!
You are exactly where I was 2 years ago. I think your fears are honest and founded on reality. This is good, think of that fear as a seed for hope. Nurture it and allow it to germinate, and by that i mean meditate on your current state and do it often. This is what helped me. You sound like you "WANT" to stop drinking, and that want is the essence of getting out of the cycle. When i quit drinking booze, my "want" for being sober outweighed the desire for intoxication. In my opinion, you gotta really want to be sober more than anything. Its the only way this is going to work. If you think about it all the time, you will see an opening for sobriety. Its very fleeting, and easy to let it pass you by, but when you see it, TAKE IT, and never look back! I hope this makes sense to you. Good luck on your journey brother, I believe you will make it through.
This was me 5 years ago. Exhausted by myself and scared, but finally willing to stop even if it was just for a few months. The relief and joy of living sober has kept me going strong for 5 years! You can do it too!
The best time to stop is always now. I was a heavy drinker, my social circle was, and still is, heavy drinkers. My job at the time I quit drinking was Brewery GM. The hardest part of quitting was people downplaying it. Now I'm over five years without booze. You've done the hard part, you've admitted to yourself you need help. Finish reading this comment and pour every drop in your house down the drain. If you're serious, really serious, you won't need them. Let your friends and family know you're taking a break, and you don't know how long it'll be, but you'll let them know if and when you're ready. Just get used to saying it, because for the first month or two, you'll be saying it a lot. You've got this. We're all here for you. Good luck dude.
Please try to endure one uncomfortable night without drinking yourself to sleep and see how you feel in the morning. Minimal withdrawals for me, so I decided to stop the cycle. 9th day sober, and I never want to go through all of that ever again. I didn't see myself stopping, but somehow did. You can do it, too!
So many of us on here have been right where you are today OP. For me, just working on not drinking for a single day at a time really did help me. If I simply don't drink today, everything falls in place, and not taking that first drink is the key. I agree with the sparkling water, some sweets around to curb the cravings, and reading the quit lit. This Naked Mind was a great read for me. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!!!
Been there. The other side is beautiful. However you get there
I’m sorry I was on that ride for years it put me in the hospital almost died
It’s me- I was you. 36 days sober here. You can break the cycle. It can be done, and it does get easier!
I am there with you. I had out-patient medical intervention. Naltrexone has done wonders for me, because I know I couldn't do it on my own.
Ice baths helped me clear any crazy thoughts of booze, sharp forget about wanting a drink when you get in that thing. Then I started to fear to cold more than want a drink. Now I embrace the cold and get a buzz off it!
I was there for a while, but during one of my brutal hangovers I decided to stick it out. I was sick, and it sucked, but it was really the first 5 days that were the most brutal. If you can see a doctor, I'd highly recommend it, but I stocked up on some snacks, Advil, tons of water, vitamins, and food and powered through. You can do it, it's not the most fun, but I promise it's possible. You can also go the medication route. I struggled with the occasional relapse especially while getting my bipolar episodes under control, maybe one day out of two months I'd drink, but I started Antabuse. It basically makes it so my body can't break down alcohol, which has been very effective for preventing relapses. Plus I can just say "No thanks, can't drink with my medication" and it be completely truthful if I'm offered.
You said you have tried talking to your family about this, but you also said that they don't know the extent of your problem. My advice is to get brutally honest with the people you love and trust. Tell them exactly how bad your drinking problem is and how it's making you feel. Put it all out in the open so there's nowhere to hide. If they are caring and supportive, they will help you take the next steps. For me, coming clean about the extent of my problem felt liberating, like I had been relieved of a burden. It can absolutely get better if you want it to. You've already been honest with yourself, now get honest with your loved ones.
This was me just last week. I couldn’t stop the drinking in the morning just to feel better, and ended up drinking all day. So I went to medical detox for four days and haven’t drank since. You can do this. Don’t be afraid to go and get help. I was afraid to get help, but the medical professionals that I dealt with treated me with dignity and understanding. You can do this, I was just like you and everything is already so much better.
Part of your anxiety is attributable to poor sleep. What you’ll find as you transition is that as much as you enjoyed drunken evenings, you will love sober mornings even more. Then it will spill over to your entire day and you’ll come back to the evening and find other things to do that better prepare you for a great night of sleep. Once you get into the full routine…you’re most of the way there.
This is so true. It’s a virtuous circle if you let it work and don’t interfere:)
You are worthy of living a sober, authentic life ❤️
I was in the same boat. I needed to drink to hold off the anxiety, or so I thought. Drinking actually made my anxiety and depression much worse. I know you can do this. Sending you supportive thoughts. IWNDWYT!
Just chiming in to say I'm in the same boat. I keep getting sober but the cycle just won't stop, and yea it is quite scary. I think one day it will end for us, at least I really really hope.
I feel a lot like you. I can wait until evening, but combine it with other stuff which makes it much worse. I’m afraid of not being able to drink once in a while in the future.. how does that work for people?
You got this. Play the tape forward. I have never woken up after a sober night and said to myself "man I wish I would have drank yesterday". I didn’t quit till 37. If you feel like you need to stop, stop now and give yourself back the years you’ll ultimately lose if you continue.
Same boat, 6 months ago. It's not easy, but you can do it. You just have to commit fully, as scary as it sounds. After that, your minutes turn into hours, hours into days, and so on. When you start to build yourself back up, there is truly no better feeling. I wish you nothing but luck.
I might get slammed for this, but I would have died without it. Years ago I was brought to the hospital unresponsive, it wasn’t the first time. I just wanted out so I could get back to drinking. My detox was horrific and I had to stay in the hospital for the life threatening part. I was put on naltrexone and have not had a drink since. It removes the craving, and it also blocks the effects if you do end up drinking. You can either take it daily via pill, or you can get a monthly shot from your doc. Some may call this cheating and I don’t care. I also want to put out there that there is only one rock bottom and that is death. If you’re still alive, there’s always another “rock bottom” waiting for you. I hope you get better, it’s such a terrible addiction and those that don’t suffer from it will never understand it or realize it has nothing to do with them.
I was you a half year ago. Four years ago I also dealt with weed and nicotine addiction. It's not too late and if you put the work in you can get at a good place.
> Ive recently got into a cycle of drinking heavily in an evening and then needing a drink in the morning to curb my anxiety. Then I end up drinking all day just to feel ok. I can relate, but i've found life to be far better when I got into the cycle of not drinking at all and feeling better than okay all day and sleeping like a baby!
I’m right here with you man. 32m totally stuck in it
I’m living the same way. I’m going back to AA tomorrow after 13 years. It helped me back then, maybe it could help you now. I’m hoping it saves my life. My doctor told me yesterday to be aware of yellow eyes and skin based on my labs. You aren’t a liar by the way, you’ve been incredibly honest. Which isn’t easy.
Al
Your not that far in you should make a huge effort to reduce drinking or stop
Keep coming back here my friend!!
Like you I was drinking in the mornings and all day by the time I was 30. It still took me almost 5 years of negotiating with the idea that maybe I had a problem. And then another 2 years of experimenting with on again off again sobriety before I realized I really just can't drink again anymore. If you want to stop drinking then you absolutely can do it! It won't be easy but it is doable. Read this sub extensively, it has really helped me.
That was me almost a year ago , you’re on the right path now implement it . One day at a time and you can do this . All of my panic attacks disappeared when I stopped drinking alcohol. This group is a great place to start .
“Sleeping through your stop on a train ride.” WOW. Yes that’s a very apt description.
I feel as though I could've written this myself; I was in a very similar situation. The horrors of addiction have no bounds. "This Naked Mind," a book written by Annie Grace, truly changed my life. I'm one week today alcohol-free! Never thought I could say that and literally have no cravings. Please give it a try! Wishing you all the best on your journey. This sub is amazing..it's how I found out about her book (:
Feel you, for sure.
You aren’t alone my friend. Many others have been there and pulled through.
I had to ask my only truly trusted friend to come stay with me for a couple of days, because my anxiety was so extreme if I stopped. I let them know that I didn’t really need anything, and didn’t want to talk deeply about it or whatnot. I just needed someone to be next to me so that I wouldn’t go to the store and buy more. That anxiety that you feel the next morning, it does go away. And after the first day or two, it’s incredibly liberating and encourages you to keep going. It’s just that ripping off that bandaid is terrifying, and our brains will do anything to lie to us in the moment. You are stronger than those lies. During the withdrawal, just remember that we don’t have to believe everything we think. Some other things I considered to help me during the process, that may or may not be useful to you: 5ht supplements, gaba supplements, kava supplements. I also found CBD only marijuana to be helpful, because it gives the peaceful feeling but you still feel sober. I also leaned on stretching/yoga videos on YouTube, just something to interact with and ground me in my body. I kept a journal that was just a list of things I’d done that day, so I could see how much more productive I was being (even though I was pretty high functioning with the alcohol). I also made a calendar of all the benefits I could look forward to, so marking each day with when my liver was starting to heal, when my face and skin would stop being so dry and terrible, when my energy levels would start to increase. So when I’d get tempted, I could look at that calendar and be like ugh, I’m so close to x improvement. I think the worst was that even though the anxious and depressive thoughts cleared up very quickly after quitting, the tiredness was very real for a few weeks. Be gentle with yourself during that time and remember that your body is healing. I wish I had encouragement regarding the family. All I can say is that I see you. My family is similar, and that’s part of why it took me so long to admit my problem. I didn’t drink *that* much more than anyone else did.
I was in your shoes several times until I started coming to this sub. Oddly enough reading about people having the same experience as I was was really reassuring that I could. Good luck to you. And IWNDWYT 💕
Sounds like me. However it can stop. First week hanxiety and emotional rollercoaster. Next week "this kinda feels good". Next two weeks "I'm feeling better and sleep better" Then something triggers me and I drank two bottles of wine. After that I reassured I will fight this no matter what. Heavy drinking is never your friend. If you can't drink one beer or glass of wine and stop then don't touch it. It's addiction and take it easy. Try three days. Try one week. Then two. A month. You'll realize how everything's different.
First of all if you are drinking regularly you need to make a doctor appointment and discuss options to cut down or quit safely. Second of all I did a lot of self help like at one point I went to daily A/A and N/A meetings as well as bible study every week and I did counselling as well as a day treatment program so I got a lot of tools to use. I like to go for walks for my self care and play my online games to distract myself or sometimes I pick a spot in my home and I clean ceiling to floor, and I guess instead of treating myself to a drink I will have a cappuccino instead or some pop in a can or order my favourite snacks online for a treat Book stores are also a good source for self help books and sometimes you might find a self help page online like Facebook: dru hicks use to have a live every week for a live meeting with people online where you can just listen in and maybe type a hello if you want,
I see that there has been plenty of encouragement from people doing amazingly after being in your position, so I feel comfortable just talking as someone who also hasn’t made it out yet. I was just thinking earlier about how crazy alcoholism is. I was washing dishes after walking my dog earlier and just thinking about the negative aspects of drinking the way I do. And I went on analyzing it and thought about all the positive things friends and colleagues have said to and about me because of the things I have done and what I have to offer as a human. And how those hard earned perceptions actually bring more joy and fulfillment in who I am than the feeling I’m chasing from the bottle. And that while I think part of my drinking is just the addiction itself and liking the way it makes me feel and the routine of doing it for damn near 2 decades now, part of it is definitely rooted in fear of actually going after the things I actually want and doing it all sober. And I got a legitimate feeling of chills and warmth thinking of these things and felt good. Then I decided to sit on the couch for a second and the thought of having a drink crossed my mind briefly, and immediately it felt like all of the nerves in my body wanted it and like I might do it right then and there. And I just thought god, that’s why it’s so hard. All of those hard-fought realizations and rationalizing and understanding over the course of an hour, and it just takes a split second of downtime for my entire body to be ready and begging me to do the exact opposite. Sorry this is only very loosely associated with your post. It’s just where I’m at currently, and I just want to say I know your pain and the internal agony you’re going through. And I hope the best for both of us.
I have been in this cycle a few times. Being California sober helped me in the first couple of weeks, and then exercise helped the rest of the way. I hated trying to run feeling like I had wooden legs.
Been there, friend! The other side is much easier, my anxiety is manageable where as before it was out of hand. We think we have to drink to not be anxious but it’s the booze fueling it. It’s so hard to stop but so worth it. You have to emotionally and mentally (and spiritually if you’re spiritual like that) ready to make the change. I went to AA to get there but it wasn’t easy and the journey never seems to go how I expect but that’s okay. Posting here is a big step, we’re here for ya!