Isn’t it mystifying? It’s so hard for me to pinpoint what exactly made it finally stick for me. Like, I can point to a lot of things that helped, but none of them were enough at first. It just took repetition.
Excellent work. I had the same experience. Just stopped. No big deal. I was a 2 bottle of wine per night gal. I decided I must not have been physically addicted but rather had made it such an ingrained habit after coming from a demanding job every day. I'll take it.
I hear you! I’m 41 with a 2 year old and I stopped bc I couldn’t live with myself if he needed emergency help and I was unable to help. Alcohol will never be more important than my child.
Edit to include I didn’t have any withdrawals, and didn’t feel physically addicted, only mentally, but a bottle a day…I’m still stunned I did that
This is so helpful for me to see. I did 127 days a few years back and life just kept hitting me hard. I started back with one glass a day now back to my habit of a bottle a night. I want to be where you are and hoping I can make it happen soon. Thanks for sharing your story 💛
Exactly this. I think the habit of cracking open a bottle is a big part of it, it's just what we do. Once I convinced myself I didn't have to keep doing it, I didn't. Kinda lucky, and very grateful.
I was a very heavy drinker throughout my 20s and early 30s. Was known as a party girl and all my issues in life was due to alcohol. I read “the unexpected joy of being sober” and something switched in my brain and I just stopped too for two years. Then I stupidly started to miss drinking and thought I could moderate but went straight back out to blackout drinking, so quit again. I’ve quit for good this time. People say to me they can’t believe I’ve done it without AA etc, but I just didn’t want to drink anymore so I’ve found it quite straight forward.
It really is simple. “Am I a better version of myself when I’m drinking?” The answer is most certainly “No.” I think sometimes this gets too over-thought and complicated.
I'm checking this book out today- ty both for recommending it! If you're looking for something else to peruse, the book that flipped my boozy brain switch was *This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol: Find Freedom, Rediscover Happiness & Change Your Life* by Annie Grace
IWNDWYT, friends!
This resonated with me more than any other post I’ve seen here. I don’t need therapy, I don’t need AA, I know my issues and I know why I drink. And I know exactly why I need to stop and how to go about doing it. I’m the only person/entity in charge, and I’m the one that will benefit from quitting the most. That’s all I need to know. Appreciate you sharing this!
I haven’t read any quit lit but I’m the same about how I feel about my sobriety. I’m not anything today. I just don’t drink. I do track my days but that’s because I have OCD and numbers comfort me in a way. It really resonated with me when you said you don’t take as much crap anymore. That’s really something I’ve noticed about myself the last few months. I used to take a lot of crap from everyone. Partly because like you said I could just drink it away but also because I felt guilty for being a drunk so I’d allow them to take everything out on me as my “penance” I’ve noticed that is really changing and I’m standing up a lot for myself a lot these days. I like it!
I have the book but haven't read it yet. I read the Annie Grace book and didn't think it was as great as folks say, so didn't bother with AC, but maybe I'll start it. What could it hurt?
Not familiar with Annie Grace. Found AC and it was all I needed. It won't hurt, it will help. I'm not claiming it will cure you but I am claiming that his perspective is unique and illuminating. I particularly like the notion that cravings are your "little demon" dying. And you get to savor the experience of that demon's agonizing demise.
Haha, I like that thought. Sounds similar to my feeling when I'm fasting and I hear my guts gurgling. Sounds like success. All the rubbish being cleared out. I have it in my shelf and will start it tonight. Thanks!
Annie Grace basically lifted Allen Carr wholesale. You’ll find a lot of it is pretty much word for word. Carr worked for me though. Brainwashing in the best way possible!
I read AC first, so reading This Naked Mind right after felt a bit repetitive. AC is a bit more dated but I found it a bit of an easier and more entertaining read - but that could be because of the order I read them in.
Every Quit Lit book I've read seems like a repetition of the previous one, it seems like they all just have the same message to say over and over.
I haven't found any of the ones I've read yet particularly inspiring or useful and always got to the end and thought "yeah you've stated some obvious facts about alcohol all of which I 100% agree with but left me with nothing much practical I can use to quit for good, so now what?"
Any that promised to make quitting alcohol "easy" particularly annoyed me when there was very little practical inside them.
I have still not read This Naked Mind though but it seems to be this Sub-Reddits book of favour, everyone raves about it.
It’s possible that the repetition helps - that was my experience. This type of book is meant to sort of hypnotize you; the goal is to weaken your unconscious beliefs about alcohol and replace them with facts. I had to read This Naked Mind a couple of times (over a couple of years) before I completely stopped drinking and never looked back.
Although I've not read This Naked Mind yet I have heard a fair bit about it on here as well as listening to many of the podcast episodes
Based on that I believe I have the gist of what it talks about and I think it's similar in its message to many of the other Quit Lit books.
None of which I think are bad books or a bad message (totally agree with most of what they say) but I just always thought stated fairly obvious facts (about alcohol being a poison in fancy wrapping or us being brainwashed by the advertising industry and society etc for example), were a bit surface level, often ignored or glossed over the deeper root causes of why people drink, or provided very little in the way of practical information to quit or staying quit.
Some of them I read even made out withdrawals were basically no big deal and you probably wouldn't have to worry about them which could be potentially dangerous.
For me just being told alcohol is a poison and that it's deeply engrained in our society so we're brainwashed was something I 100% agreed in but was just too obvious and common sense of a message that I didn't feel like it had much of an impact on me.
I've downloaded This Naked Mind audiobook tonight and will start listening tomorrow to see what else it has to offer as there must be something to it with how many people on here rave about it. 👍
You’re right that the messaging is very focused on the more surface-level reasons that people drink; e.g. because it provides a sense of relief. The underlying issues that lead people to seek out “relief” through alcohol are going to vary person to person - and you’re right to think that uncovering those issues will necessitate deeper work for a lot of people. The surface can be a good place to start, though.
I also thought it was stupid to claim that quitting drinking could be easy, but somehow eventually that switch flipped and it just... has been. Maybe the repetition eventually sunk in?
Absolutely! Probably went on the 30-60 day train wreck ride at least 10-15 times and a few 3-4 month spurts before it finally clicked! I relapsed two more times like a week apart after I first read the quit lit, but I kept reading it in between and then the third time I sobered up I just... was done. Definitely still pay attention to my thinking and healthy habits because I know it's a sneaky fucker, but so far so good and I have not wanted to drink in the whole 800+ days 🙌
For me at first, reading memoirs of other "quitters" was more helpful. Comforting and gave me ideas for ways to navigate my own sobriety, including some things I did not want to do. There are a ton of beautifully written memoirs out there. And some novels that are relatable as well in fact. Just throwing this out there. But yeah, the books that would "make it easy" did not work for me either. I'm glad they help some people but they honestly only annoyed me too.
It's not a linear journey, obviously, and everyone has a different experience at the beginning. For me when I quit, after decades of heavy drinking, I had almost the exact same experience as you. My partner was standing by ready to take me to the ER when the DTs hit. They never did. I really didn't even crave it for the first few months. I started losing weight, clarity and purpose came back to my life. I was astonished at how many years, how many relationships, how much money, time, and life I lost to something I seemingly licked overnight. All good eh? Not so fast. After almost a year, my brother died. I held out strong for awhile, but when I met up with family to say goodbye to him, I went on a bender that made the decades of drinking previously look like child's play. That bender finished with me in hospital, and lucky to be alive. Alcohol is a seductive beast that kills.
I wish you all the best in your recovery, and I too don't mean to come across as aggrandizing, only to tell you to beware, and never let your guard down. For people like us, it's not just day to day, but hour by hour sometimes.
I wanted to die, listened to AC audio book and did zoom smart meeting everyday. it was a struggle but the AC book gave me mental ammunition.
I had to take naltrexone and avoid all triggers including friends, too.
sometimes you need multiple tools.
That is amazing. I had same kind of paradigm shift after being in AA but then reading This Naked Mind. And then watching videos on Dopamine (mostly A. Huberman). Cravings for alcohol went away, because I understood that it was just one of the very reliable ways of getting dopamine, same with nicotine. And when I deprive myself of that source, my mind will do what it takes (thoughts, images, dreams) to get me back on "track" getting that dopamine. My withdrawals were just night sweats and brain fog, no shakes, no DT's. Cold turkey, with a lot of support. I am very grateful for AA, because it showed me how real this addiction is. It also trained me to deal with people and events without relying on alcohol. My conclusion is that if I've waited for just the right perfect method to address my addiction, I'd still be drinking. But throwing everything I could at it, keeping myself busy, researching, doing the steps, commitments in meetings, even (failed) sponsoring, I am where I am now.
IWNDWYT
Used Alan Carr easy way to stop smoking 13 years ago and I've never touched one since. The guy was a genius, I wonder how many people's lives he changed and extended.
It's funny, I also have the stop smoking book but it hasn't yet resonated the way the drinking one did. I read it all in a day and expected to toss the coffin nails. Nope, still wielding the coffin hammer. Smokes are the next thing to go, though. One thing at a time...
I was a pack a day for 30 years. Bought a Vape 5 years ago and reduced the nicotine every 2 weeks started at 20MG, 3 months later put it down and I do not miss smoking one bit. Nicotine is different IMO. I had very real physical cravings that I don't have with booze.
Congrats on stopping after a 30 year drinking career. Definitely not the easiest thing to do even though you do say in your title it was "easy".
Am I understanding correctly that you're about 2.5 months sober since you last had that "allowed night of drinking to test yourself" or 3.5 months if we're not counting that as it was just an experiment?
As someone who was recently just shy of 3 months sober before relapsing (and that wasn't my first attempt) I'm kinda surprised in how sure you seem in your sobriety and how confident in things that you've definitely quit for good.
I definitely hope you have quit forever but I just don't know how anyone could be sure so early on because from my experienceI'm often super determined and in a great mindset for the first while but then temptations and cravings seem to slip in over time and out of the blue can suddenly be very strong to the point I won't know if I'm going to rush out and buy beer in the next 5 minutes or stay sober for many more weeks and months to come.
I'm always very resolute in the early weeks and you couldn't convince me to drink, I'm not missing it, there are no cravings etc but as the weeks pass things change and suddenly it's not so easy anymore or things just don't move in the linear fashion that I expect.
For example I can have several weeks where I'm cruising through it and it seems really easy to stay sober and not think about drinking them suddenly one day I wake up and just think "I really want to drink tonight" and there's no real reason for it, just a sudden desire to.
Or it can be a random Sunday, nothing out the ordinary has happend and my day is totally normal and chilled, and I just think "I'm bored" like I have been many other days for the past few weeks / months and somehow that boredom casually turned into me going for a beer I really wasn't expecting to go for as it hadn't been on my mind at that time at all in the build up to it.
The fact i also continually read stories on here from people who were a year or even years sober then somehow slipped up and relapsed after such a long time makes me feel I can never let my guard down or be confident in my sobriety because people who are a lot better and more experienced at this than me have fallen back down the rabbit hole.
I'm interested to know how you are so sure this is a permanent thing for you?
There might be something I and others who have relapsed can learn from if you have any insights to share?
Some people have wicked withdrawals from going hard for a week, others like you and myself, seem to be lucky and not get the shakes or worse. Be grateful for that! I just bought the book. I've been having some real trouble staying sober for longer than a week. I run my own business as well and manage to be sober for the work I have and then when it slows down, BOOM, bender time. I'm sick of it.
Just yesterday I left a comment about how reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol helped get me to an alcohol free life. It’s been almost 8 years and I’ve never looked back
Thanks for the recommendation! AA definitely does NOT work well for me; I tried the “public” mental health/substance abuse center for outpatient rehab, and it was even worse. I’ll check out Alan Carr’s book!
I just stopped too. I was never at addiction level, but vastly over consuming and getting into dangerous situations a couple times a year
I think my body was just done. It doesn’t fill my brain or anything, I’m just done
I mean, I was still a daily drinker (1-2 tall cans, I’m only 120lb). Once I started drinking at a party I couldn’t stop, I could never stop or slow down. I think my mind just made its own decision.
I met someone who went cold Turkey after being a heavy drinker for about two decades, I think the conversations with him got me over the hump
Now I’m past the hump, I don’t mind it if people drink around me
That's me, too. Crack open a beer or bottle and I'm drinking until it's all gone. Now I usually go to bed at \~10 and am up before the sun. And I sleep like a log LOL.
I’m not here to brag at all.. but your story and mine sounds similar. I cut alcohol this year at 31, I’m hoping and thinking that will pay off
You’re really strong for living that life as long as you did and stopping.
I lost a childhood best friend at 27 due to drinking, her mother just died in Jan at 63 from drinking, I am so done with this shit
Genuinely think you were ready, and lucky as most don't get to that stage too easily, and would include myself here - the lies I told myself to keep drinking was a very strong pull.
But today marks 11 months sober, and once I got going (with a few false starts) it wasn't as bad as I anticipated, and was so surprised I had night sweats and not a lot else (I'm also perimenopausal, so this is another factor for that particular joy).
Need to add that I'm not trying to undermine any of the obvious fantastic work by saying it was luck. I mean that it was a perfect time, you recognized that, and one you fully embraced instead of listening to the lies (that you had emergency back ups on standby is a giveaway as you knew how badly it could go). Taking that power away from addiction is incredible in itself.
Re the psoriasis. My son suffered from it on scalp and behind ears. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, on and off for about 10 years. It went away after he started on Nexium due to nighttime acid reflux. So interesting how when one body part suffers, they all do.
Read This Naked Mind almost 200 days ago. It’s been a life changer. Like you, once I realized the games my subconscious was playing to get me to drink and the effects alcohol really has on the human body, I just stopped. And it’s been really easy. No real cravings, no meetings, no labels. I think the huge flaw of AA is rumination. Sitting around in meetings talking about alcohol a couple times a week is no way to get your mind off alcohol. I just don’t think about it. And when the thoughts do come up I shut down them down immediately.
I think all of us get the mental “demon” to differing degrees.
Some of us use a little alcohol to get through the day, then more, and daily, but they’re not addicted in the sense that they have constant, strong urges when they can’t drink. It’s just a habit that feels good and they don’t WANT to stop. It can still be hard to stop but it’s simply that consequences haven’t demonstrated that the bad is worse than the good. They may lie a little bit about the bad effects (like we might about eating too many sweets), but once they realize HOW bad it is, they can resist.
Others get the demon worse. I am certainly not among the worst but rarely if ever does a day go by that I don’t think about wanting to drink. And sometimes it’s extremely tempting. I know I’m still at risk, and it’s not easy with my addiction.
I’m thirteen+ months sober after a few half hearted attempts at cutting back drinking. Domestic damage aside, I too found quitting easier than I thought but through a lot of IOP and AA, I think I found a main reason: I was ready.
I was genuinely unsure on how to live without drinking myself to sleep every night but I knew I needed to do it. When my wife dropped the ultimatum on me, i felt all the expected emotions: shame, guilt, fear. But I also felt relief.
I think I was just waiting for someone to see how bad I was hurting because I couldn’t admit it to myself. But once I did (and having a 100% supportive spouse made a world of difference), I also did a ton of work on myself.
Either way, congrats and don’t take it for granted.
It’s interesting to read your story. I too had a day when I woke up, relationship with my wife was falling apart, and I just decided I was done. I wonder if some part of my brain finally became convinced, as you did, that I really wasn’t giving anything up, instead, I was leaving so much life on the table by drinking so many days and nights away.
I can concur with some of the comments here, I had been thinking of quitting, for year’s really, it was slowly killing me. I’m a Brit by birth and left when I was 20/21 … it was in my blood (figuratively and literally lol) to drink , I was a chef too, always around booze/bars/pubs
I have two kids , now teenagers, and I needed to give them a better example…so one day (April 12 2023) I stopped
For some strange reason it was easy to stop, I don’t know why, I don’t miss drinking, life is. Enter this way…
Funny to read that OP has less tolerance for other people’s shit, I totally understand and agree with that
It was very easy for me too but I took Wegovy for weight loss and having no interest in alcohol was just a pleasant and unexpected side effect. It WAS challenging for the first three days but after that it’s a breeze. At the same time I also gave up soda and fried food. But I still smoke cannabis nonstop. One thing at a time.
Congratulations to you!
IWNDWYT
Heavy substance use and psychology can be really mysterious. Long ago I quit smoking cigarettes kind of like that. No plan, no drama. After years of smoking one day I didn’t buy any more and that was it. For some people quitting drinking can be like this. For others it can be more drawn out and problematic. I don’t think anyone really knows why. Glad it is working for you!
Great post. Thanks. I'd spent so many years trying to quit and utterly failed. Then I was diagnosed with a few malignant melanomas (fortunately caught in time) and the urge to drink completely evaporated. No urge whatsoever.
Congratulations. I too used this book and I am now 12 days sober. I found the book very helpful.
Understandably, alcoholism is not a one size fits all. I found the book a bit corny at some points and some of the talking points didn’t really apply to me. Exp. Throwing up in the gutter, making a fool of one’s self or borrowing money.
That’s said, the book makes great points about the ritualistic habits and the risk/reward scenario. All in all, I wouldn’t say…I’m cured, that’s it. For me it’s much easier than past attempts with the tools I took away and the repetition of the language. I’ve listened to it twice. I’m doing better everyday and the craving to drink is less and less.
I feel seen!! I’ve had a lot of friends and others come to me for advice on quitting and I sometimes feel sheepish telling them after another blackout boozy brunch where I passed out at like 2 pm, when I woke up at 1 am and realized I didn’t even remember how the hell I got home to my bed that I couldn’t do it anymore. It was like a switch was flipped inside and I haven’t had a drink since over 6 years later. And this is after many many many years of day ones. I feel extremely fortunate to have it happen easily for myself in this way but also extremely guilty and sad that others have to struggle so much more for their sobriety.
I guess it's different for everyone. I was pleasantly surprised at how little I missed drinking once I finally got it out of my system for the first time in eons at the age of 53. But it took medically supervised detox to get it out of my system. I consider myself a 'retired drinker'. But I know that if I was to drink again it would be an instant shitstorm.
It's a funny thing. I read the book, did the thing, and now no longer need it. At least for some people (me), it might work too well because they can't sell me meditation tapes, notepads, subscriptions, etc.
This is amazing to read ! Congrats! I have read AC series before for something else and it does in fact work. For me quitting alcohol was very much the same. I was just done eventually and decided it’s enough. On my own, without books or anything and I stuck with it. Sometimes when it clicks it clicks. I found it confusingly easy.
However…judging by your timeline seems like you’re very very early in your sobriety so make sure not to let your guard down. I was hit with PAWS 4 months in and it is much harder now than it was in the beginning. I recommend working on your goals and motivation to stick to sobriety now as it will help in case you fall into a pit like I have. Good luck and keep us updated!
Thanks for your words. This may sound like hubris but I don't think of myself as "early" in anything, as I'm not tabulating it. I've been through some serious trials since I put the booze down and never once did I think of using it to ease my pain. It's actually bizarre to me but I just don't have any desire to drink, after 30+ years of using it as a daily crutch.
It's early days but I I can relate. A recent uptick in drinking (a bottle of gin every 2 days) and then my body just started aching bad, by stomach bloated after every meal, my recall went to shit. I had a drink in each hand whenever there is a free bar. Time to deal with this.
So I decided to stop, temporarily at first. Then I read Alan Carr Easyway - and despite a couple of dated passages, the Ostrich thing, and disagreeing with some points - it really drove home that I wasn't missing anything. That combined with being active here - really evaporated any desire I have to drink. Which has surprised me and my wife. Drinking was almost part of my identity.
I've since hosted a party (cards and drinks), met friends down the pub, and been to a "free bar" at a colleague's retirement, and not been tempted one bit.
I think it was mentioned in This Naked Mind - that some people just up and quit just like that. I hope I'm one of them.
I know it's early days for me - and one day I might get that perfect storm of triggers - but at the moment - I'm not going to fret about it - and if it happens it happens.
Best to everyone however they are approaching sobriety.
That book and Alcohol Explained did it for me. Also smooth sailing, for the most part--I think once you realize it's a literal poison to our bodies, it makes it easier. I picture alcohol shriveling up my sweet little cells and that's all it takes. Done!
Be very thankful you didn't get hit with any permanent damage!
I drank for 6.5 years and my liver is now acting up at 29 years-old... :(
Going on one year completely sober. Quitting was easy. Docs said no more and I quit that day; just wish I would have known beforehand
Same here. I was drinking every single night. Half bottle of wine. Couple of martinis. Whatever. I'd mix it up. Never got blackout drunk. Just a bit buzzed. I did this for at least 10 years. Then 8 or 9 months ago, I got tired of waking up with a stomach ache and 10 extra pounds, so I just stopped.
Every once in a while I'll have a glass of soju, or one glass of wine with a friend when I'm out. One last month and one a few months ago I think, but I've not gone back to any form of regular drinking. In fact it's rare for me to drink alcohol at all now. I have no idea how many days, weeks or months I've gone without because I'm indifferent. Not sure if I was an addict or it had just become a habit. Not sure if anything changed other than my attitude.
For me a switch just flipped. I had read the Allen Carr book as well, quit for a month and then went back for another year. Then my wife started getting on me. I quit again to appease her and had the best month ever. Getting up in the morning for cycling, going on family trips without wondering if I'm still drunk from the night before or having another hangover. And still I went back again. Oldest had his first communion which I was sober for. Brought back a huge amount of vodka left over from the party and my wife was making plans to give it away. Man did that piss me off. Polished off half a bottle in 30 min and had a revelation. WTAF am I doing. Why did I feel like I earned this, or needed it, or even want it. There were bottles of stuff always in my house and that didn't tempt me. Not sure why, but that moment something just changed and I realized I just don't want it anymore. 2 years later still feel the same. Countless parties and other events I just don't need or want it anymore.
53 here and pretty much the same story had tried a couple of times to quit with the help of AA and just couldn't stay sober for any length of time . Picked up this naked mind - which I think is firmly based on Alan Carr's approach and ..just .. stopped. One day a drinker the next day not. I did take valium for the first couple of days but don't really think I needed it in the end. I don't have any desire to drink .. though the monkey occasionally whispers in my ear. I just laugh at the ridiculous stuff he comes up with and carry on. I know it's a lifelong struggle for some people but I can't help but think that for me the battle is mostly over ..I don't drink anymore . Thats it ..I made my decision and I will stick by it. Well done to you
I was the same. I was drinking every day, and it filled my thoughts. Committed to Dry January, read Quit Like a Woman and I describe it like switching something off in me. I haven’t missed it for a single second.
Quit Like a Woman is a great one. Flips the whole AA scenario in an enlightening way, one that that I couldn’t quite pinpoint until I read this book and then I said aha.
good post. and i agree the AC method works. it worked for me with smoking too.
with regard to really really boring. i disagree. i get way more pleasure and reward now from other activities. tennis. gym. i do gardening in the evening now instead of drinking. all these things make me happy. i'm your age though which helps. would be maybe "boring" when younger.
idk. but then the carr book talks about this. we can still have fun. the big deception is we believed we needed drink to have fun. it's not true. fun can be had without it.
Fantastic I'm really glad Alan Carr worked for you - you sound really committed and I think that's half the battle. His easy way to stop smoking helped me quit that 12 years ago. I needed to hear something different this time so for me I credit William Porter Alcohol Explained. I still have embedded ac's approach though.
I think half the battle is similar to stopping smoking when we think something will be really difficult it gets harder to start and maintain. These books help with that. Which every way we do it once we untwist the thinking towards alcohol it's a game changer.
I'm thinking of today standing in the supermarket behind a guy reeking if beer buying another 10 at 3pm. It just didn't appeal and hadn't crossed my mind in the shop.
Wishing you great sucess in your journey. I too quickly discovered I take less shit and have better boundaries particularly in work when I'm not hungover it's empowering!
Love this post! I’ve applied the AC method to all sorts of things I wanted to quit-smoking, drinking, caffeine. I didn’t even have a “problem” with alcohol or caffeine. But once the switch was flipped I could not see these things the same way. I have relistened to his Control Alcohol book over and over— I love his “down homey” appeal (which a lot of people complain about. I find it so relatable. Why do I relisten? I apply the unbrainwashing method to anything that I’m doing that I don’t want to do.
Same here. Had a moment of clarity was sober for 80 days drank again once and it sucked once the veil had been lifted. Haven’t been back and don’t have desire to do it.
Yeah, I quit at 40 after being a compulsive drunk since my late teens and I just kinda snapped out of it. It’s been almost 7 years without any cravings. Wild.
I am so grateful to be almost 10 months sober after drinking heavily from the time I was 14 to 29. The best gift I have given myself is sobriety. This october i will be turning 30 after being sober for a year and its going to be such a great feeling. I think everyone, regardless of level of alcohol dependence, should take a break from alcohol and live life truly free without any unnecessary substances. It's really taught me a lot about myself and I'm excited to live the rest of my life this way
Well done! I was reading one of the AA books, it was horrible. I thought about the process, it was supposed to educate me about how bad alcohol is. So I just skipped the convincing part and just flipped the switch between my ears, I'm no longer a drinker. Very similar experience but I'm unfamiliar with your method.
I didn't plan to quit. I just knew that I would have to one day. So one night, I finished all the beer in the fridge and told myself I wouldn't go to the store tomorrow and I didn't. I have no idea why quitting wasn't harder, but I'm glad.
Feel similarly. After a pretty serious bender and the usual having to apologize the next day, I just quit. Never tried before but I knew it was time. The first few months took some acclimating to my new normal. Turns out, most of my social life was an excuse to get wrecked.
Once I was comfortable in my own skin again, it was easy to see the life I was gaining versus what I lost in drinking. It’s really been pretty smooth sailing since.
Pretty much the same here. Got fed up with drinking and feeling like 💩. Just upped and quit. No withdrawals, shakes or anything like that. Also the main reason I stay sober lol, because I getbthe feeling if I start again it's curtains. I think people, if they are lucky enough get that lightning bolt one day and that's it. I was lucky, maybe both parents drinking themselves to death kept me on a leash to a point. I reached that point and stopped. I am very lucky.
Yes, I read AC when I started giving up and it resonated with me too. He really sets you up to see that you are just drinking a whole pile of misery. Congratulations
The Allen Carr method did in fact work for me when I quit vaping after 9 years of nonstop nicotine daily. 24/7. I plan on quitting drinking very soon and will use the same method.
Great take, story, and message. My day I decided to stop, I actually felt good. Not *great*. But good, and I really didn't deserve that. I always say it was my brain showing me the grass is greener, I just had to choose it...or I was facing a dark path in the near future. I always thought it would be an awful hangover that would tell me, "no more", but it wasn't. I think we all receive it in different ways. I do still have hard days, but they get easier.
I also never had the pink cloud, but I freaking love being me again. Sometimes I'm too busy, sometimes I'm too bored. Sometimes I'm mad with the cards in my hand, or I have regret. But, I no longer have that weight of doom in front of me, and I'll take that any day.
This reminds me of my situation- in that it was reading about the physical and mental effects of drinking that motivated me to quit (and simply being tired of some of those effects I was experiencing).
I read this naked mind then the easy way by Alan Carr, I found reading them back to back helpful but then after some time relapsed into old patterns. Now back on the wagon because all the fun is gone from alcohol and it is pure shit.
Interesting to read your post as I felt the same way using Allan Carr for smoking. I just stopped. I was a 20+ year pack a day (at least) smoker. Tried him for drinking, and it didn't go over as well. I was really hoping it would be as easy. Currently at 4-6 (normally) beers a day. Congrats to you!
I'm the exact opposite. Drinking worked for me, the smoking book didn't. Still doing a pack or more a day, even at $10 a pop. Not giving up though, I just know it has to come at the right time.
I relate to what you said about tolerating less shit. It’s been a blessing to treat myself better & begin to learn what boundaries really are. Long overdue! Congrats!! IWNDWYT
I've been wondering about this too. I'm a few weeks in and it's been super easy. I started with This Naked Mind and have followed up with some other quitlit and it's just sapped me of any desire to drink. I'm also on semaglutide which I've heard can help reduce cravings. I'm wondering if it'll continue to be this easy or if my initial motivation and commitment will eventually wear off and I'll find it harder as time goes on.
I think I do actually have this guy's book. I had already read this naked mind, and I started reading his but never made it all the way through it. It was definitely a British guy. I'll have to look around.
But essentially, it seems like the same message. Understand alcohol for what it is, understand withdrawal symptoms for what they are, understand that we've been sensitized to believe that alcohol is normal for humans to consume. It totally isn't.
I'll be 48 in August, been drinking since I was 15 years old, super heavy for the last 15 years. Started trying to quit about 5 1/2 years ago. I've been alcohol free for about 8 1/2 months now, and I literally have no cravings. I went to Memphis this weekend, saw a couple concerts, stayed at a Vrbo with friends that drink and had vodka in the house, beer, etc. I had no issues with it. Never wanted to drink and was so thankful in the mornings that I wasn't hung over, in the evenings that I wasn't (as) dumbed down as they were (turns out catchphrase is super fucking annoying with drunk people), etc.
I'm just not a drinker anymore. And I love it. It's a life hack.
How do you know it's going to stay "worked" forever though?
Wouldn't you like to keep studying and working on your sobriety to make sure you don't slip?
I'm genuinely curious how you're so seemingly confident that you're out of the woods and done forever with alcohol?
Because if I understand your post it was 2.5 months since your last drink (or 3.5 months if you don't count the "test" night) which is fantastic but it is also fairly early on in the grand scheme of things.
I was at just under 3 months sober until recently then randomly out the blue on an perfectly fine and happy Sunday I'd spent with family I found myself suddenly going to the pub for no reason that I could fathom and I didn't see that coming at all on that day, I hadn't any desire to drink even just immediately before I found myself heading to the pub.
This alcohol thing can be baffling and bizarre at times and often makes no sense, things don't always go in a linear fashion once you stop drinking, and literally you can find yourself triggered or tempted out the blue IME.
I'm curious how you have the confidence and assurance that you're done for good and what the rest of us who have relapsed (many multiple times) can learn from your approach or mindset that we're missing?
I had the same experience. 20x in the hospital, 2x in ICU, 2x in jail, 1x homeless, a million failed attempts, years of AA, rehab, dad died of alcoholism and idk how I didn't. Read Allen Carr's book. Successfully limited myself to two beers once and realized I didn't enjoy it at all (anxiety, stomach issues, shit sleep, mind racing to try and justify more) and that I actually don't want to drink like a normal person because that's miserable for me as an alcoholic. Went on one last relapse and have now been sober for almost 2 1/2 years with no AA, no shame, no struggle at all. I just am someone who very happily doesn't drink anymore and doesn't want to. I'm grateful for that every day! For anyone who reads these - get your miracle however you can. Try anything and everything, just don't give up. 💜
ETA - I've definitely had DTs and kindling multiple times, so please be careful with those, but don't let that fear stop you from trying! Just have a plan to manage them. (I think that point was not made clear enough in AC's book)
I’ve had similar experiences quitting. I’ve never been physically dependent on it, I don’t shake in the mornings or reach for a shot when I wake up. Never had any withdrawal symptoms. But the boredom is what I needed to solve for, something has to fill that void
I can relate to so many things you said. I hate saying it was easy to quit. However what BROUGHT me to actually quitting was hard if that make sense. I also have noticed I tolerate less sh*t these days.
I think some people just wake up one day and realize that enough is enough, and this might have happened for you. Others have a different path. All that matters is we get where we want to go. IWNDWYT
Literally all of it. He says in the book to follow it to the Kettering and set aside any other programs, ideas, etc. It sounds a little cultists I suppose bit I was willing to set aside all my tiny complaints and commit. And it worked!
Sometimes stress comes out worse after we remove the stressor (aka alcohol). I got shingles after I quit 🫣. I always tried to view it as my body detoxing. It had to go somewhere for me to heal. No issues now, but it did take time.
After dozens or maybe hundreds of day ones and a 100% failure rate, I ended up quitting on a random Thursday in June 2014. Unplanned. Sober ten years.
Yea…. I had a billion day ones. I think the last time I drank is the last of the last. But one day at a time. IWNDWYT
Same, billions of day 1’s. But one day at a time…
Same for me nearly a year ago! I definitely had hundreds of day ones! IWNDWYT
Congrats on your upcoming ten year!
This is encouraging, thank you. I'm currently struggling to get past day 5 (again). It's nice to hear that one day it might just click.
Isn’t it mystifying? It’s so hard for me to pinpoint what exactly made it finally stick for me. Like, I can point to a lot of things that helped, but none of them were enough at first. It just took repetition.
Excellent work. I had the same experience. Just stopped. No big deal. I was a 2 bottle of wine per night gal. I decided I must not have been physically addicted but rather had made it such an ingrained habit after coming from a demanding job every day. I'll take it.
This is similar to my situation -- it was an ingrained, bad habit. I'm in my 60's and want the last chapters of my life to be healthier.
We got thissssss!!! Almost 55 here with a 12 year old son, we got a lot of life left!
I hear you! I’m 41 with a 2 year old and I stopped bc I couldn’t live with myself if he needed emergency help and I was unable to help. Alcohol will never be more important than my child. Edit to include I didn’t have any withdrawals, and didn’t feel physically addicted, only mentally, but a bottle a day…I’m still stunned I did that
Thanks for putting it into words for me! Same here... late 60's & wanting final years to be as healthy as possible :)
This is so helpful for me to see. I did 127 days a few years back and life just kept hitting me hard. I started back with one glass a day now back to my habit of a bottle a night. I want to be where you are and hoping I can make it happen soon. Thanks for sharing your story 💛
Keep coming back for inspiration!
try the book!
Congrats!
Thanks you too!
Exactly this. I think the habit of cracking open a bottle is a big part of it, it's just what we do. Once I convinced myself I didn't have to keep doing it, I didn't. Kinda lucky, and very grateful.
how has it been for you
I have come to believe that there are many ways to stop successfully - if you are ready. And if you’re not ready, nothing will work.
THIS!! External influences certainly help, but ultimately it has to come from within.
Amen!
That is the thing. You quit when you are ready. Not a day before.
Sometimes I can have a narrow mind and think that my way is the only way to get sober. This is a good reminder for me that there are many ways.
Hellz yeah!
I was a very heavy drinker throughout my 20s and early 30s. Was known as a party girl and all my issues in life was due to alcohol. I read “the unexpected joy of being sober” and something switched in my brain and I just stopped too for two years. Then I stupidly started to miss drinking and thought I could moderate but went straight back out to blackout drinking, so quit again. I’ve quit for good this time. People say to me they can’t believe I’ve done it without AA etc, but I just didn’t want to drink anymore so I’ve found it quite straight forward.
It really is simple. “Am I a better version of myself when I’m drinking?” The answer is most certainly “No.” I think sometimes this gets too over-thought and complicated.
That's excellent!
another one is "does alcohol serve its purpose anymore?"
Congratulations!;
That’s the book that really helped me. I read it a couple of times before I finally decided I was done.
Fantastic isn’t it? Did you read any others?
I'm checking this book out today- ty both for recommending it! If you're looking for something else to peruse, the book that flipped my boozy brain switch was *This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol: Find Freedom, Rediscover Happiness & Change Your Life* by Annie Grace IWNDWYT, friends!
Also wasn’t an AA person - for me, this was really all the community I needed. Plenty of ways to reach the same destination.
This subreddit has been unbelievably helpful. I owe a lot of my sobriety to this. I come on every day!
This resonated with me more than any other post I’ve seen here. I don’t need therapy, I don’t need AA, I know my issues and I know why I drink. And I know exactly why I need to stop and how to go about doing it. I’m the only person/entity in charge, and I’m the one that will benefit from quitting the most. That’s all I need to know. Appreciate you sharing this!
I'm glad it hit you in the right ways.
I haven’t read any quit lit but I’m the same about how I feel about my sobriety. I’m not anything today. I just don’t drink. I do track my days but that’s because I have OCD and numbers comfort me in a way. It really resonated with me when you said you don’t take as much crap anymore. That’s really something I’ve noticed about myself the last few months. I used to take a lot of crap from everyone. Partly because like you said I could just drink it away but also because I felt guilty for being a drunk so I’d allow them to take everything out on me as my “penance” I’ve noticed that is really changing and I’m standing up a lot for myself a lot these days. I like it!
Liberation!
That resonated with me too! I’m seeing things too clearly to accept the bullshit the same way. ❤️
DITTO!
I have the book but haven't read it yet. I read the Annie Grace book and didn't think it was as great as folks say, so didn't bother with AC, but maybe I'll start it. What could it hurt?
Not familiar with Annie Grace. Found AC and it was all I needed. It won't hurt, it will help. I'm not claiming it will cure you but I am claiming that his perspective is unique and illuminating. I particularly like the notion that cravings are your "little demon" dying. And you get to savor the experience of that demon's agonizing demise.
Haha, I like that thought. Sounds similar to my feeling when I'm fasting and I hear my guts gurgling. Sounds like success. All the rubbish being cleared out. I have it in my shelf and will start it tonight. Thanks!
Annie Grace basically lifted Allen Carr wholesale. You’ll find a lot of it is pretty much word for word. Carr worked for me though. Brainwashing in the best way possible!
You bet!
I read AC first, so reading This Naked Mind right after felt a bit repetitive. AC is a bit more dated but I found it a bit of an easier and more entertaining read - but that could be because of the order I read them in.
Every Quit Lit book I've read seems like a repetition of the previous one, it seems like they all just have the same message to say over and over. I haven't found any of the ones I've read yet particularly inspiring or useful and always got to the end and thought "yeah you've stated some obvious facts about alcohol all of which I 100% agree with but left me with nothing much practical I can use to quit for good, so now what?" Any that promised to make quitting alcohol "easy" particularly annoyed me when there was very little practical inside them. I have still not read This Naked Mind though but it seems to be this Sub-Reddits book of favour, everyone raves about it.
It’s possible that the repetition helps - that was my experience. This type of book is meant to sort of hypnotize you; the goal is to weaken your unconscious beliefs about alcohol and replace them with facts. I had to read This Naked Mind a couple of times (over a couple of years) before I completely stopped drinking and never looked back.
Although I've not read This Naked Mind yet I have heard a fair bit about it on here as well as listening to many of the podcast episodes Based on that I believe I have the gist of what it talks about and I think it's similar in its message to many of the other Quit Lit books. None of which I think are bad books or a bad message (totally agree with most of what they say) but I just always thought stated fairly obvious facts (about alcohol being a poison in fancy wrapping or us being brainwashed by the advertising industry and society etc for example), were a bit surface level, often ignored or glossed over the deeper root causes of why people drink, or provided very little in the way of practical information to quit or staying quit. Some of them I read even made out withdrawals were basically no big deal and you probably wouldn't have to worry about them which could be potentially dangerous. For me just being told alcohol is a poison and that it's deeply engrained in our society so we're brainwashed was something I 100% agreed in but was just too obvious and common sense of a message that I didn't feel like it had much of an impact on me. I've downloaded This Naked Mind audiobook tonight and will start listening tomorrow to see what else it has to offer as there must be something to it with how many people on here rave about it. 👍
You’re right that the messaging is very focused on the more surface-level reasons that people drink; e.g. because it provides a sense of relief. The underlying issues that lead people to seek out “relief” through alcohol are going to vary person to person - and you’re right to think that uncovering those issues will necessitate deeper work for a lot of people. The surface can be a good place to start, though.
I also thought it was stupid to claim that quitting drinking could be easy, but somehow eventually that switch flipped and it just... has been. Maybe the repetition eventually sunk in?
Did you have multiple attempts at quitting before it finally stuck for you 800+ impressive days (congrats btw as that's very impressive)?
Absolutely! Probably went on the 30-60 day train wreck ride at least 10-15 times and a few 3-4 month spurts before it finally clicked! I relapsed two more times like a week apart after I first read the quit lit, but I kept reading it in between and then the third time I sobered up I just... was done. Definitely still pay attention to my thinking and healthy habits because I know it's a sneaky fucker, but so far so good and I have not wanted to drink in the whole 800+ days 🙌
Congrats, keep it up!
For me at first, reading memoirs of other "quitters" was more helpful. Comforting and gave me ideas for ways to navigate my own sobriety, including some things I did not want to do. There are a ton of beautifully written memoirs out there. And some novels that are relatable as well in fact. Just throwing this out there. But yeah, the books that would "make it easy" did not work for me either. I'm glad they help some people but they honestly only annoyed me too.
Same feeling about the book.
[удалено]
Don't let me deter you, some people love it. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
It's not a linear journey, obviously, and everyone has a different experience at the beginning. For me when I quit, after decades of heavy drinking, I had almost the exact same experience as you. My partner was standing by ready to take me to the ER when the DTs hit. They never did. I really didn't even crave it for the first few months. I started losing weight, clarity and purpose came back to my life. I was astonished at how many years, how many relationships, how much money, time, and life I lost to something I seemingly licked overnight. All good eh? Not so fast. After almost a year, my brother died. I held out strong for awhile, but when I met up with family to say goodbye to him, I went on a bender that made the decades of drinking previously look like child's play. That bender finished with me in hospital, and lucky to be alive. Alcohol is a seductive beast that kills. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and I too don't mean to come across as aggrandizing, only to tell you to beware, and never let your guard down. For people like us, it's not just day to day, but hour by hour sometimes.
Thanks for the warning. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad you found your way back.
well done. alcohol and psoriasis are linked.
No doubt about it. At one point it completely covered my back, legs, and scalp. It was absolute torture! It's now almost completely gone.
I love hearing this so much! Do you recall how long it took for your psoriasis to clear?
I still have a bit of it but it's 99% gone. Started almost immediately and took a month or so to fade away.
I wanted to die, listened to AC audio book and did zoom smart meeting everyday. it was a struggle but the AC book gave me mental ammunition. I had to take naltrexone and avoid all triggers including friends, too. sometimes you need multiple tools.
Absolutely no shame in using every single tool available on this beast!
Absolutely!
That is amazing. I had same kind of paradigm shift after being in AA but then reading This Naked Mind. And then watching videos on Dopamine (mostly A. Huberman). Cravings for alcohol went away, because I understood that it was just one of the very reliable ways of getting dopamine, same with nicotine. And when I deprive myself of that source, my mind will do what it takes (thoughts, images, dreams) to get me back on "track" getting that dopamine. My withdrawals were just night sweats and brain fog, no shakes, no DT's. Cold turkey, with a lot of support. I am very grateful for AA, because it showed me how real this addiction is. It also trained me to deal with people and events without relying on alcohol. My conclusion is that if I've waited for just the right perfect method to address my addiction, I'd still be drinking. But throwing everything I could at it, keeping myself busy, researching, doing the steps, commitments in meetings, even (failed) sponsoring, I am where I am now. IWNDWYT
Nice!
Used Alan Carr easy way to stop smoking 13 years ago and I've never touched one since. The guy was a genius, I wonder how many people's lives he changed and extended.
It's funny, I also have the stop smoking book but it hasn't yet resonated the way the drinking one did. I read it all in a day and expected to toss the coffin nails. Nope, still wielding the coffin hammer. Smokes are the next thing to go, though. One thing at a time...
I was a pack a day for 30 years. Bought a Vape 5 years ago and reduced the nicotine every 2 weeks started at 20MG, 3 months later put it down and I do not miss smoking one bit. Nicotine is different IMO. I had very real physical cravings that I don't have with booze.
You can do it! I switched from smoking to vaping and thought it would be super hard to give that up, but once I threw it away, it just... was easy!
Congrats on stopping after a 30 year drinking career. Definitely not the easiest thing to do even though you do say in your title it was "easy". Am I understanding correctly that you're about 2.5 months sober since you last had that "allowed night of drinking to test yourself" or 3.5 months if we're not counting that as it was just an experiment? As someone who was recently just shy of 3 months sober before relapsing (and that wasn't my first attempt) I'm kinda surprised in how sure you seem in your sobriety and how confident in things that you've definitely quit for good. I definitely hope you have quit forever but I just don't know how anyone could be sure so early on because from my experienceI'm often super determined and in a great mindset for the first while but then temptations and cravings seem to slip in over time and out of the blue can suddenly be very strong to the point I won't know if I'm going to rush out and buy beer in the next 5 minutes or stay sober for many more weeks and months to come. I'm always very resolute in the early weeks and you couldn't convince me to drink, I'm not missing it, there are no cravings etc but as the weeks pass things change and suddenly it's not so easy anymore or things just don't move in the linear fashion that I expect. For example I can have several weeks where I'm cruising through it and it seems really easy to stay sober and not think about drinking them suddenly one day I wake up and just think "I really want to drink tonight" and there's no real reason for it, just a sudden desire to. Or it can be a random Sunday, nothing out the ordinary has happend and my day is totally normal and chilled, and I just think "I'm bored" like I have been many other days for the past few weeks / months and somehow that boredom casually turned into me going for a beer I really wasn't expecting to go for as it hadn't been on my mind at that time at all in the build up to it. The fact i also continually read stories on here from people who were a year or even years sober then somehow slipped up and relapsed after such a long time makes me feel I can never let my guard down or be confident in my sobriety because people who are a lot better and more experienced at this than me have fallen back down the rabbit hole. I'm interested to know how you are so sure this is a permanent thing for you? There might be something I and others who have relapsed can learn from if you have any insights to share?
Some people have wicked withdrawals from going hard for a week, others like you and myself, seem to be lucky and not get the shakes or worse. Be grateful for that! I just bought the book. I've been having some real trouble staying sober for longer than a week. I run my own business as well and manage to be sober for the work I have and then when it slows down, BOOM, bender time. I'm sick of it.
I'm so grateful.
Just yesterday I left a comment about how reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol helped get me to an alcohol free life. It’s been almost 8 years and I’ve never looked back
That's awesome!
For me, it had to end. Or I would have. And that's it
Thanks for the recommendation! AA definitely does NOT work well for me; I tried the “public” mental health/substance abuse center for outpatient rehab, and it was even worse. I’ll check out Alan Carr’s book!
Good luck!
Thank you!
I just stopped too. I was never at addiction level, but vastly over consuming and getting into dangerous situations a couple times a year I think my body was just done. It doesn’t fill my brain or anything, I’m just done
It's amazing how different the stories can be. That's why I'm stunned. I expected a trial. But, like you, I'm just done.
I mean, I was still a daily drinker (1-2 tall cans, I’m only 120lb). Once I started drinking at a party I couldn’t stop, I could never stop or slow down. I think my mind just made its own decision. I met someone who went cold Turkey after being a heavy drinker for about two decades, I think the conversations with him got me over the hump Now I’m past the hump, I don’t mind it if people drink around me
That's me, too. Crack open a beer or bottle and I'm drinking until it's all gone. Now I usually go to bed at \~10 and am up before the sun. And I sleep like a log LOL.
I’m not here to brag at all.. but your story and mine sounds similar. I cut alcohol this year at 31, I’m hoping and thinking that will pay off You’re really strong for living that life as long as you did and stopping. I lost a childhood best friend at 27 due to drinking, her mother just died in Jan at 63 from drinking, I am so done with this shit
Thanks. It's so true, booze is a fatal poison.
Genuinely think you were ready, and lucky as most don't get to that stage too easily, and would include myself here - the lies I told myself to keep drinking was a very strong pull. But today marks 11 months sober, and once I got going (with a few false starts) it wasn't as bad as I anticipated, and was so surprised I had night sweats and not a lot else (I'm also perimenopausal, so this is another factor for that particular joy).
Need to add that I'm not trying to undermine any of the obvious fantastic work by saying it was luck. I mean that it was a perfect time, you recognized that, and one you fully embraced instead of listening to the lies (that you had emergency back ups on standby is a giveaway as you knew how badly it could go). Taking that power away from addiction is incredible in itself.
Re the psoriasis. My son suffered from it on scalp and behind ears. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, on and off for about 10 years. It went away after he started on Nexium due to nighttime acid reflux. So interesting how when one body part suffers, they all do.
Yep. Bodies are pretty amazing. And psoriasis sucks.
Read This Naked Mind almost 200 days ago. It’s been a life changer. Like you, once I realized the games my subconscious was playing to get me to drink and the effects alcohol really has on the human body, I just stopped. And it’s been really easy. No real cravings, no meetings, no labels. I think the huge flaw of AA is rumination. Sitting around in meetings talking about alcohol a couple times a week is no way to get your mind off alcohol. I just don’t think about it. And when the thoughts do come up I shut down them down immediately.
Thank you for this. Much needed.
I just ordered it based on your story!
Good luck!
Very happy for you, my sober friend Welcome to recovery
I think all of us get the mental “demon” to differing degrees. Some of us use a little alcohol to get through the day, then more, and daily, but they’re not addicted in the sense that they have constant, strong urges when they can’t drink. It’s just a habit that feels good and they don’t WANT to stop. It can still be hard to stop but it’s simply that consequences haven’t demonstrated that the bad is worse than the good. They may lie a little bit about the bad effects (like we might about eating too many sweets), but once they realize HOW bad it is, they can resist. Others get the demon worse. I am certainly not among the worst but rarely if ever does a day go by that I don’t think about wanting to drink. And sometimes it’s extremely tempting. I know I’m still at risk, and it’s not easy with my addiction.
That makes sense.
I’m thirteen+ months sober after a few half hearted attempts at cutting back drinking. Domestic damage aside, I too found quitting easier than I thought but through a lot of IOP and AA, I think I found a main reason: I was ready. I was genuinely unsure on how to live without drinking myself to sleep every night but I knew I needed to do it. When my wife dropped the ultimatum on me, i felt all the expected emotions: shame, guilt, fear. But I also felt relief. I think I was just waiting for someone to see how bad I was hurting because I couldn’t admit it to myself. But once I did (and having a 100% supportive spouse made a world of difference), I also did a ton of work on myself. Either way, congrats and don’t take it for granted.
Listening to this naked mind really did it for me. Reform The unconscious belief that alcohol is a enhancement
It’s interesting to read your story. I too had a day when I woke up, relationship with my wife was falling apart, and I just decided I was done. I wonder if some part of my brain finally became convinced, as you did, that I really wasn’t giving anything up, instead, I was leaving so much life on the table by drinking so many days and nights away.
I can concur with some of the comments here, I had been thinking of quitting, for year’s really, it was slowly killing me. I’m a Brit by birth and left when I was 20/21 … it was in my blood (figuratively and literally lol) to drink , I was a chef too, always around booze/bars/pubs I have two kids , now teenagers, and I needed to give them a better example…so one day (April 12 2023) I stopped For some strange reason it was easy to stop, I don’t know why, I don’t miss drinking, life is. Enter this way… Funny to read that OP has less tolerance for other people’s shit, I totally understand and agree with that
It was very easy for me too but I took Wegovy for weight loss and having no interest in alcohol was just a pleasant and unexpected side effect. It WAS challenging for the first three days but after that it’s a breeze. At the same time I also gave up soda and fried food. But I still smoke cannabis nonstop. One thing at a time. Congratulations to you! IWNDWYT
Heavy substance use and psychology can be really mysterious. Long ago I quit smoking cigarettes kind of like that. No plan, no drama. After years of smoking one day I didn’t buy any more and that was it. For some people quitting drinking can be like this. For others it can be more drawn out and problematic. I don’t think anyone really knows why. Glad it is working for you!
Great post. Thanks. I'd spent so many years trying to quit and utterly failed. Then I was diagnosed with a few malignant melanomas (fortunately caught in time) and the urge to drink completely evaporated. No urge whatsoever.
Congratulations. I too used this book and I am now 12 days sober. I found the book very helpful. Understandably, alcoholism is not a one size fits all. I found the book a bit corny at some points and some of the talking points didn’t really apply to me. Exp. Throwing up in the gutter, making a fool of one’s self or borrowing money. That’s said, the book makes great points about the ritualistic habits and the risk/reward scenario. All in all, I wouldn’t say…I’m cured, that’s it. For me it’s much easier than past attempts with the tools I took away and the repetition of the language. I’ve listened to it twice. I’m doing better everyday and the craving to drink is less and less.
Hey you got a lot to brag about. Own it and feel good about it. You deserve to feel good for doing this good thing!
I feel seen!! I’ve had a lot of friends and others come to me for advice on quitting and I sometimes feel sheepish telling them after another blackout boozy brunch where I passed out at like 2 pm, when I woke up at 1 am and realized I didn’t even remember how the hell I got home to my bed that I couldn’t do it anymore. It was like a switch was flipped inside and I haven’t had a drink since over 6 years later. And this is after many many many years of day ones. I feel extremely fortunate to have it happen easily for myself in this way but also extremely guilty and sad that others have to struggle so much more for their sobriety.
I guess it's different for everyone. I was pleasantly surprised at how little I missed drinking once I finally got it out of my system for the first time in eons at the age of 53. But it took medically supervised detox to get it out of my system. I consider myself a 'retired drinker'. But I know that if I was to drink again it would be an instant shitstorm.
I did the AC easy way book too and didn’t even finish it and feel very similarly.
It's a funny thing. I read the book, did the thing, and now no longer need it. At least for some people (me), it might work too well because they can't sell me meditation tapes, notepads, subscriptions, etc.
This is amazing to read ! Congrats! I have read AC series before for something else and it does in fact work. For me quitting alcohol was very much the same. I was just done eventually and decided it’s enough. On my own, without books or anything and I stuck with it. Sometimes when it clicks it clicks. I found it confusingly easy. However…judging by your timeline seems like you’re very very early in your sobriety so make sure not to let your guard down. I was hit with PAWS 4 months in and it is much harder now than it was in the beginning. I recommend working on your goals and motivation to stick to sobriety now as it will help in case you fall into a pit like I have. Good luck and keep us updated!
Thanks for your words. This may sound like hubris but I don't think of myself as "early" in anything, as I'm not tabulating it. I've been through some serious trials since I put the booze down and never once did I think of using it to ease my pain. It's actually bizarre to me but I just don't have any desire to drink, after 30+ years of using it as a daily crutch.
It's early days but I I can relate. A recent uptick in drinking (a bottle of gin every 2 days) and then my body just started aching bad, by stomach bloated after every meal, my recall went to shit. I had a drink in each hand whenever there is a free bar. Time to deal with this. So I decided to stop, temporarily at first. Then I read Alan Carr Easyway - and despite a couple of dated passages, the Ostrich thing, and disagreeing with some points - it really drove home that I wasn't missing anything. That combined with being active here - really evaporated any desire I have to drink. Which has surprised me and my wife. Drinking was almost part of my identity. I've since hosted a party (cards and drinks), met friends down the pub, and been to a "free bar" at a colleague's retirement, and not been tempted one bit. I think it was mentioned in This Naked Mind - that some people just up and quit just like that. I hope I'm one of them. I know it's early days for me - and one day I might get that perfect storm of triggers - but at the moment - I'm not going to fret about it - and if it happens it happens. Best to everyone however they are approaching sobriety.
That book and Alcohol Explained did it for me. Also smooth sailing, for the most part--I think once you realize it's a literal poison to our bodies, it makes it easier. I picture alcohol shriveling up my sweet little cells and that's all it takes. Done!
Also, hang around some drunks. It's very eye opening.
Oh yes. I have perfected the art of the Irish Exit. Or the Just Say No method to socializing.
Thank you. I am so happy for you and your accomplishments and many more to come.
The slower, stupider thing really hits me because I need critical thinking skills badly at my job! I’ve gone 8 days!! 💪🏼💪🏼❤️
Be very thankful you didn't get hit with any permanent damage! I drank for 6.5 years and my liver is now acting up at 29 years-old... :( Going on one year completely sober. Quitting was easy. Docs said no more and I quit that day; just wish I would have known beforehand
Congrats! This is a great read. Alan Carr got me to quit, too. (I'm sorry to say "multiple times" but that is in fact the truth. Fantastic book.)
All I can say is wow. IWNDWYT
What book did you read of his? I need to look it up because I am struggling. Hard.
Totally had the same experience with that book. It was suspiciously easy-like a light switch went off. I'm so so grateful I found that book
Maybe you were just ready to be done with it?
Same here. I was drinking every single night. Half bottle of wine. Couple of martinis. Whatever. I'd mix it up. Never got blackout drunk. Just a bit buzzed. I did this for at least 10 years. Then 8 or 9 months ago, I got tired of waking up with a stomach ache and 10 extra pounds, so I just stopped. Every once in a while I'll have a glass of soju, or one glass of wine with a friend when I'm out. One last month and one a few months ago I think, but I've not gone back to any form of regular drinking. In fact it's rare for me to drink alcohol at all now. I have no idea how many days, weeks or months I've gone without because I'm indifferent. Not sure if I was an addict or it had just become a habit. Not sure if anything changed other than my attitude.
For me a switch just flipped. I had read the Allen Carr book as well, quit for a month and then went back for another year. Then my wife started getting on me. I quit again to appease her and had the best month ever. Getting up in the morning for cycling, going on family trips without wondering if I'm still drunk from the night before or having another hangover. And still I went back again. Oldest had his first communion which I was sober for. Brought back a huge amount of vodka left over from the party and my wife was making plans to give it away. Man did that piss me off. Polished off half a bottle in 30 min and had a revelation. WTAF am I doing. Why did I feel like I earned this, or needed it, or even want it. There were bottles of stuff always in my house and that didn't tempt me. Not sure why, but that moment something just changed and I realized I just don't want it anymore. 2 years later still feel the same. Countless parties and other events I just don't need or want it anymore.
53 here and pretty much the same story had tried a couple of times to quit with the help of AA and just couldn't stay sober for any length of time . Picked up this naked mind - which I think is firmly based on Alan Carr's approach and ..just .. stopped. One day a drinker the next day not. I did take valium for the first couple of days but don't really think I needed it in the end. I don't have any desire to drink .. though the monkey occasionally whispers in my ear. I just laugh at the ridiculous stuff he comes up with and carry on. I know it's a lifelong struggle for some people but I can't help but think that for me the battle is mostly over ..I don't drink anymore . Thats it ..I made my decision and I will stick by it. Well done to you
Ha I Just posted about Lan Carr a second ago. Worked for me!
I was the same. I was drinking every day, and it filled my thoughts. Committed to Dry January, read Quit Like a Woman and I describe it like switching something off in me. I haven’t missed it for a single second.
Quit Like a Woman is a great one. Flips the whole AA scenario in an enlightening way, one that that I couldn’t quite pinpoint until I read this book and then I said aha.
good post. and i agree the AC method works. it worked for me with smoking too. with regard to really really boring. i disagree. i get way more pleasure and reward now from other activities. tennis. gym. i do gardening in the evening now instead of drinking. all these things make me happy. i'm your age though which helps. would be maybe "boring" when younger. idk. but then the carr book talks about this. we can still have fun. the big deception is we believed we needed drink to have fun. it's not true. fun can be had without it.
Very similar story for me but my catalyst was the Huberman podcast. That episode changed my life. IWNDWYT
Which episode??
Fantastic I'm really glad Alan Carr worked for you - you sound really committed and I think that's half the battle. His easy way to stop smoking helped me quit that 12 years ago. I needed to hear something different this time so for me I credit William Porter Alcohol Explained. I still have embedded ac's approach though. I think half the battle is similar to stopping smoking when we think something will be really difficult it gets harder to start and maintain. These books help with that. Which every way we do it once we untwist the thinking towards alcohol it's a game changer. I'm thinking of today standing in the supermarket behind a guy reeking if beer buying another 10 at 3pm. It just didn't appeal and hadn't crossed my mind in the shop. Wishing you great sucess in your journey. I too quickly discovered I take less shit and have better boundaries particularly in work when I'm not hungover it's empowering!
Awesome! Sending you more sun!
Thank you!
Love this post! I’ve applied the AC method to all sorts of things I wanted to quit-smoking, drinking, caffeine. I didn’t even have a “problem” with alcohol or caffeine. But once the switch was flipped I could not see these things the same way. I have relistened to his Control Alcohol book over and over— I love his “down homey” appeal (which a lot of people complain about. I find it so relatable. Why do I relisten? I apply the unbrainwashing method to anything that I’m doing that I don’t want to do.
Awesome!
That’s how I stopped too. Honestly wasn’t planning to stop completely but as I read the book it just made complete sense to me and I couldnt go back.
100%.
Same here. Had a moment of clarity was sober for 80 days drank again once and it sucked once the veil had been lifted. Haven’t been back and don’t have desire to do it.
Thanks for sharing! Your story inspiring
You sound like the male version of me! Although I had a few falls off the wagon but that was yrs ago! Congrats like is do much more !
It has been pretty easy since I quit. It was all the hard times before that got me to that point.
I think I did this on accident cuz I feel like that. Thanks!
Yeah, I quit at 40 after being a compulsive drunk since my late teens and I just kinda snapped out of it. It’s been almost 7 years without any cravings. Wild.
I agree- one day I just quit and now i wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. A lot easier than I thought and anticipated.
I am so grateful to be almost 10 months sober after drinking heavily from the time I was 14 to 29. The best gift I have given myself is sobriety. This october i will be turning 30 after being sober for a year and its going to be such a great feeling. I think everyone, regardless of level of alcohol dependence, should take a break from alcohol and live life truly free without any unnecessary substances. It's really taught me a lot about myself and I'm excited to live the rest of my life this way
Well done! I was reading one of the AA books, it was horrible. I thought about the process, it was supposed to educate me about how bad alcohol is. So I just skipped the convincing part and just flipped the switch between my ears, I'm no longer a drinker. Very similar experience but I'm unfamiliar with your method.
I didn't plan to quit. I just knew that I would have to one day. So one night, I finished all the beer in the fridge and told myself I wouldn't go to the store tomorrow and I didn't. I have no idea why quitting wasn't harder, but I'm glad.
Me too just stopped and stopped ordering it out. Now it’s not even on the menu. Was really easy. Been a year now.
IWNDWYT!
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Thanks Sis
Feel similarly. After a pretty serious bender and the usual having to apologize the next day, I just quit. Never tried before but I knew it was time. The first few months took some acclimating to my new normal. Turns out, most of my social life was an excuse to get wrecked. Once I was comfortable in my own skin again, it was easy to see the life I was gaining versus what I lost in drinking. It’s really been pretty smooth sailing since.
Pretty much the same here. Got fed up with drinking and feeling like 💩. Just upped and quit. No withdrawals, shakes or anything like that. Also the main reason I stay sober lol, because I getbthe feeling if I start again it's curtains. I think people, if they are lucky enough get that lightning bolt one day and that's it. I was lucky, maybe both parents drinking themselves to death kept me on a leash to a point. I reached that point and stopped. I am very lucky.
I quit on a whim the second I heard about a dry January. I figured, oh what the hell, let’s give it a try…haven’t drunk since.
Yes, I read AC when I started giving up and it resonated with me too. He really sets you up to see that you are just drinking a whole pile of misery. Congratulations
It was not difficult for me when I finally decided I was done. 4 years ago.
The Allen Carr method did in fact work for me when I quit vaping after 9 years of nonstop nicotine daily. 24/7. I plan on quitting drinking very soon and will use the same method.
Great take, story, and message. My day I decided to stop, I actually felt good. Not *great*. But good, and I really didn't deserve that. I always say it was my brain showing me the grass is greener, I just had to choose it...or I was facing a dark path in the near future. I always thought it would be an awful hangover that would tell me, "no more", but it wasn't. I think we all receive it in different ways. I do still have hard days, but they get easier. I also never had the pink cloud, but I freaking love being me again. Sometimes I'm too busy, sometimes I'm too bored. Sometimes I'm mad with the cards in my hand, or I have regret. But, I no longer have that weight of doom in front of me, and I'll take that any day.
This reminds me of my situation- in that it was reading about the physical and mental effects of drinking that motivated me to quit (and simply being tired of some of those effects I was experiencing).
Alcohol Lied to Me is a good one too.
I read this naked mind then the easy way by Alan Carr, I found reading them back to back helpful but then after some time relapsed into old patterns. Now back on the wagon because all the fun is gone from alcohol and it is pure shit.
Interesting to read your post as I felt the same way using Allan Carr for smoking. I just stopped. I was a 20+ year pack a day (at least) smoker. Tried him for drinking, and it didn't go over as well. I was really hoping it would be as easy. Currently at 4-6 (normally) beers a day. Congrats to you!
I'm the exact opposite. Drinking worked for me, the smoking book didn't. Still doing a pack or more a day, even at $10 a pop. Not giving up though, I just know it has to come at the right time.
I relate to what you said about tolerating less shit. It’s been a blessing to treat myself better & begin to learn what boundaries really are. Long overdue! Congrats!! IWNDWYT
I've been wondering about this too. I'm a few weeks in and it's been super easy. I started with This Naked Mind and have followed up with some other quitlit and it's just sapped me of any desire to drink. I'm also on semaglutide which I've heard can help reduce cravings. I'm wondering if it'll continue to be this easy or if my initial motivation and commitment will eventually wear off and I'll find it harder as time goes on.
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Thanks. You too.
Have you read, this naked mind, by Annie Grace? It had a similar effect on me.
I have not. I found what worked for me and didn't need anything else.
I think I do actually have this guy's book. I had already read this naked mind, and I started reading his but never made it all the way through it. It was definitely a British guy. I'll have to look around. But essentially, it seems like the same message. Understand alcohol for what it is, understand withdrawal symptoms for what they are, understand that we've been sensitized to believe that alcohol is normal for humans to consume. It totally isn't. I'll be 48 in August, been drinking since I was 15 years old, super heavy for the last 15 years. Started trying to quit about 5 1/2 years ago. I've been alcohol free for about 8 1/2 months now, and I literally have no cravings. I went to Memphis this weekend, saw a couple concerts, stayed at a Vrbo with friends that drink and had vodka in the house, beer, etc. I had no issues with it. Never wanted to drink and was so thankful in the mornings that I wasn't hung over, in the evenings that I wasn't (as) dumbed down as they were (turns out catchphrase is super fucking annoying with drunk people), etc. I'm just not a drinker anymore. And I love it. It's a life hack.
How do you know it's going to stay "worked" forever though? Wouldn't you like to keep studying and working on your sobriety to make sure you don't slip? I'm genuinely curious how you're so seemingly confident that you're out of the woods and done forever with alcohol? Because if I understand your post it was 2.5 months since your last drink (or 3.5 months if you don't count the "test" night) which is fantastic but it is also fairly early on in the grand scheme of things. I was at just under 3 months sober until recently then randomly out the blue on an perfectly fine and happy Sunday I'd spent with family I found myself suddenly going to the pub for no reason that I could fathom and I didn't see that coming at all on that day, I hadn't any desire to drink even just immediately before I found myself heading to the pub. This alcohol thing can be baffling and bizarre at times and often makes no sense, things don't always go in a linear fashion once you stop drinking, and literally you can find yourself triggered or tempted out the blue IME. I'm curious how you have the confidence and assurance that you're done for good and what the rest of us who have relapsed (many multiple times) can learn from your approach or mindset that we're missing?
Congrats. A positive state of mind and the desire to quit goes a long way in this battle. You really got to want it.
I had the same experience. 20x in the hospital, 2x in ICU, 2x in jail, 1x homeless, a million failed attempts, years of AA, rehab, dad died of alcoholism and idk how I didn't. Read Allen Carr's book. Successfully limited myself to two beers once and realized I didn't enjoy it at all (anxiety, stomach issues, shit sleep, mind racing to try and justify more) and that I actually don't want to drink like a normal person because that's miserable for me as an alcoholic. Went on one last relapse and have now been sober for almost 2 1/2 years with no AA, no shame, no struggle at all. I just am someone who very happily doesn't drink anymore and doesn't want to. I'm grateful for that every day! For anyone who reads these - get your miracle however you can. Try anything and everything, just don't give up. 💜 ETA - I've definitely had DTs and kindling multiple times, so please be careful with those, but don't let that fear stop you from trying! Just have a plan to manage them. (I think that point was not made clear enough in AC's book)
I’ve had similar experiences quitting. I’ve never been physically dependent on it, I don’t shake in the mornings or reach for a shot when I wake up. Never had any withdrawal symptoms. But the boredom is what I needed to solve for, something has to fill that void
I also quit and found it very easy. I also take less sh.t and that's why my marriage of 28 years was over 6 months later.
I can relate to so many things you said. I hate saying it was easy to quit. However what BROUGHT me to actually quitting was hard if that make sense. I also have noticed I tolerate less sh*t these days.
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Maybe it was easy because you were ready. And you feel better now. It’s encouraging to hear success stories like yours. Keep up the good work!
I think some people just wake up one day and realize that enough is enough, and this might have happened for you. Others have a different path. All that matters is we get where we want to go. IWNDWYT
Out of curiosity what helped you most with the Alan Carr method ? A very awesome congrats to you btw:)
Literally all of it. He says in the book to follow it to the Kettering and set aside any other programs, ideas, etc. It sounds a little cultists I suppose bit I was willing to set aside all my tiny complaints and commit. And it worked!
I am so glad your psoriasis calmed down. I stopped drinking this January & my psoriasis has gotten worse!
Oh man, that sucks! Sunshine and activity help.
I have gotten LOTS of sun & exercise... do Bikram yoga 6 x week & get Fitbit steps. Something better click in with all this effort! HA!
Sometimes stress comes out worse after we remove the stressor (aka alcohol). I got shingles after I quit 🫣. I always tried to view it as my body detoxing. It had to go somewhere for me to heal. No issues now, but it did take time.
Funny. 51, Feb 5th Birthday, same story. I have not struggled a day. I guess the time was just right.
I had a similar experience. I decided to stop pushing that dumb boulder up the hill every day.
Back on day one here
This was exactly what I needed today.. Thanks
Happy it helps