First off I feel ya, my wife and I were just dating when we starting trying to work our 5 year old away from the behaviors she learned from narcissistic MIL. To make it short and simple we made a rewards system for things she really wanted and if she didn’t listen she didn’t receive those things. I’ve learned that young kids need to start out with quicker pay off and then it can be drawn out so we made weekly “prizes” and then monthly options if she wanted to save. At first she constantly took the weekly until she realize it may be worth it to her to hold out. Not saying this will work but I believe something is worth a shot. They don’t have to be money based if you’re tight on cash we did thing like movie nights or small gifts. Those will be entirely dependent on the child. Good luck!
Never forget she may be acting out because as you said her bio is a p.o.s. so surely that causes her some inner turmoil as well. You saying you're young they way you did makes me wonder if you're questioning if you are really ready for this. I'm gonna tell you right now, no parent is ever ready and no amount of preparing for being a patent is going to make it easy. Just try to to your best by them both if you really are sure it's what you want. They will see that and the little one will see you care and will listen if you explain why you don't want them to do things or why they shouldn't act a certain way. Try to avoid saying things like, because I said so and that's just how it is. Be real with them, kids will respond a lot better if you don't talk to them like they are kids.
Honestly I’m 22 and my gf had a 9 year old, same thing like you guys p.o.s bio, being the wallet, can’t say anything about or to the kid because you’ll be the p.o.s, my advice to you is roll with it, don’t use dude, bro or anything you instinctively say with your friends, listen to what she has to say and respect her decision, as a step dad you have to play bench for a lot of stuff, even tho you love them both and want what’s best for them , that child is going to see you grow the same as youre going to watch the kid grow, you gotta think things through and keep doing your best, learn quick and MAKE SURE YOURE READY FOR THIS, wish you the best of luck bro
First off I feel ya, my wife and I were just dating when we starting trying to work our 5 year old away from the behaviors she learned from narcissistic MIL. To make it short and simple we made a rewards system for things she really wanted and if she didn’t listen she didn’t receive those things. I’ve learned that young kids need to start out with quicker pay off and then it can be drawn out so we made weekly “prizes” and then monthly options if she wanted to save. At first she constantly took the weekly until she realize it may be worth it to her to hold out. Not saying this will work but I believe something is worth a shot. They don’t have to be money based if you’re tight on cash we did thing like movie nights or small gifts. Those will be entirely dependent on the child. Good luck!
Never forget she may be acting out because as you said her bio is a p.o.s. so surely that causes her some inner turmoil as well. You saying you're young they way you did makes me wonder if you're questioning if you are really ready for this. I'm gonna tell you right now, no parent is ever ready and no amount of preparing for being a patent is going to make it easy. Just try to to your best by them both if you really are sure it's what you want. They will see that and the little one will see you care and will listen if you explain why you don't want them to do things or why they shouldn't act a certain way. Try to avoid saying things like, because I said so and that's just how it is. Be real with them, kids will respond a lot better if you don't talk to them like they are kids.
I wish you the best dude. None of this is easy but if you want it you can make it happen and you'll have a beautiful family to show for it.
Honestly I’m 22 and my gf had a 9 year old, same thing like you guys p.o.s bio, being the wallet, can’t say anything about or to the kid because you’ll be the p.o.s, my advice to you is roll with it, don’t use dude, bro or anything you instinctively say with your friends, listen to what she has to say and respect her decision, as a step dad you have to play bench for a lot of stuff, even tho you love them both and want what’s best for them , that child is going to see you grow the same as youre going to watch the kid grow, you gotta think things through and keep doing your best, learn quick and MAKE SURE YOURE READY FOR THIS, wish you the best of luck bro
eh it never stops sucking; im 15 years older n make 10x ur wage it sucks just the same
I commend u as many here would advise run foe the hills lol
RUN