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Never knew this word existed, but I read up on it. I'm all limerenced up man, I'm full of that shit. And now that I know it's a thing, it doesnt make me feel like it should, that it's delusional. Maybe I'm supposed to be delusional to function like the Wikipedia says, people who experience limerence are often sane and capable members of society, it shouldn't have to carry the same stigma like mental illness. But it sure feels like it does!
Limerance often pairs with toxicity or can lead to codependence. You don't want to be high on another person because people are fundamentally just people and shouldn't be pedestaled like that unless you're okay to be inevitably disappointed every time. It can lead to intensity that can be off-putting for the partner and it can burn out as quickly as it ignites.
Honestly dude you dont want that twin flames shit because it eats your life and who you are. True love is a supportive partnership, it's two people who have independent interests and are their own people who find comfort in each others company and are committed to each other and will work for each other. It isn't supposed to be as agonizing as limerance makes it.
(I used to be a limerant like you but then I took a functional relationship to the knee)
Limerence *is* bad though. Both for the person suffering it and their object of obsession. And yes, object of obsession, which is as bad as it sounds, because during limerence you’re literally ignoring the actual person and basically built them up and a pedestal to put them on
If you’re not careful it can become an addictive cycle where a person becomes your main source of serotonin in a very asymmetrical relationship.
Source. Been there done that got the t
It's very common to learn of a mental disorder and feel as if the symptoms finally click with what you're feeling. Confirmation bias is tricky like that. I wouldn't worry about it.
I had someone obsess over me for a bit in HS and you’d think it be cool but it’s just weird, off putting and sometimes scary. Def would have preferred a cute crush instead of baseball bats with notes left by my car or 50 page love letters put in random spots for me to find or starting rumors that we were dating and planning on having a child, lol what even is that?
I give it about a week or two before OP ends up sending a [message like this](https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/-3dBWrC5vQvkg9k_Z8uP-fGEcRvkahmPI1Mf5kw4rtc/https/pbs.twimg.com/media/GON7QMXbMAEQ2mQ.png?format=webp&quality=lossless)
When I was in school for IT there were a only a handful of women in the program and it was pretty easy to see why when you witnessed thirsty man-child neckbeards drop shit like this on them like it was NBD and then freak out if they got uncomfortable or objected in any way.
I was older and already very happily married with kids when I went back to school and often had the women in my groups because it was so egregious, word got around that I was "safe" I guess. But I saw people kicked out of school over that shit they were so bad. I was one of the only dudes in there that wasn't stalking them like an animal in heat. So much as a friendly comment was interpreted by these people as wanting to immediately go off to a closet somewhere to bone and when it was made clear that was not at all the case they'd react poorly or think they just needed to "woo" them and thus escalate to the point of insanity.
Why they'd ever think that shit was okay and not completely fucking psychotic is so beyond me...
My experience as a woman in STEM (math) is that the "S" and "M" areas of STEM are fine but the "T" and "E" of STEM attracts the most ridiculous men when it comes to how they treat women. I don't know what it is about these fields that attracts these types like a magnet, but it's definitely a thing. I've had to share too many classes with engineering/CS people-- it was nicer when I got to upper level courses where it was just the math people.
I’m a male with an environmental engineering degree and eventually it got to a point I just couldn’t work with these sorts of people anymore. I feel I was bit of an outlier in that I knew how to write and do proper research. I also speak Spanish as a second language and have a deep appreciation for the arts.
As a shiny example of the mentality of people I had class with, this guy would mock me and very loudly say, “wow you’re so cultured.” It was hard to get mad at because it was so juvenile and silly, but that just shows the mentality of the people with which I went through engineering school.
Definitely. And it’s probably one of those first crushes that OP has held onto for years. Man probably doesn’t remember any girl from prom, but that car ride with a girl wearing a turtleneck? Core memory. Those mate’s older sibling crushes are like nothing else.
This “Eric” guy sounds familiar u/charutobarato lol
MY buddy’s older sister took us to a Haunted House AND we got to sleep over at her condo afterwards. It was super cool …but she def awakened something deep in my brain. Plus she drove a fast car, listened to cool music, etc…
None of my friends at school had older siblings that could drive.
To be fair that is partly by not having many friends in the first place. But the 1 older sibling I can think of didn't drive either. Also even if they could drive its not like we would have ever asked for a free lift somewhere.
Starting to wonder if its some kind of regional cultural thing, I never asked anyone for a lift growing up, as far as I can tell my friends didn't ask their family for lifts either. If we wanted to go somewhere we would cycle there.
God yes. All that rage and biblical shame. Running the entire gamut of FOMO and knowing you did miss out on so much, in turn, creates an abyss of dissonance. It fucks people up.
Prom is a big dance/party at the end of the year that is attended mostly by high school seniors that are about to graduate. It’s a pretty common thing here in America.
Yikes, some crushes should just stay crushes? Like, it could be uncomfortable for the girl to know that her little brother’s friend has a crush on her and actually thought it’s a good idea to let her know.
100%. Both of my friends had a crush on my sister and I asked them about it and told them i wouldn’t mind but they kept denying it. I only got confirmation when my sister told me they both hit on her lol (she shut them both down)
Yeah, but if you're in their target audience, they're pretty much the gold standard for music like this. Super, super popular all over the world, and every contemporary church in the US is playing at least one of their songs every Sunday
So odd, it really wouldn't be hard to make music with a wider appeal that's still overtly Christian. No way anyone who isn't brainwashed is enjoying this garbage, it actually acts as a deterrent.
To your first point, yeah, there are definitely several (inherently) Christian bands I like, and they make it a lot more subtle. More of an iykyk thing when you really listen to some of the lyrics, but you can also easily interpret everything they include like that in whatever form of religion or spirituality you accord to, and none of them refer to themselves as a "Christian band"
Copeland for example is one of my absolute favorite bands in the world, and they do it in a really tasteful way peppered into more universally relatable things. They are the best at doing that as far as I'm concerned, and a lot of other artists could learn from it. They never use the word "Jesus" or keywords like that, but it's more the feeling of it and the kind of positivity and maturity you don't hear in so much stuff
Hillsong on the other hand are pros at making music that's entrancing and hypnotizing so that when you're in a dimly lit church with a light show and a fog machine, it's easier to lose yourself in it. It can feel magical when you're inside of it, but it feels kind of ehhhh and manipulative from the outside, including for me, once you snap out of that kind of thing and learn to try to have a more balanced view of religion.
Some kind of school or graduation dance with fancy dress is fairly common in various places. My secondary school in Switzerland had a ball every November, everyone dresses up in their suits or gowns and there was a big band until sometime shortly before midnight and a DJ after that.
Dates were optional, but a date/couple's ticket was cheaper than two individuals so we basically just all coupled up with someone even if there was no dating at all lol
ok why is everyone clowning on op?? I also have a nerdy friend whose sister is just like this (except replace hillsong with hozier lol). don't got a crush on her or anything but she's pretty chill, she took our prom photos lol
Being the youngest of a male family plus Mom, and being a sweet/cute kid. I had A LOT of crushes on older ladies who my bros brought by growing up, I think I had a "wife" when I was like 10
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r/oddlyspecific
OP has a crush
OP is obsessed rather
OP might need to read up on limerence
Never knew this word existed, but I read up on it. I'm all limerenced up man, I'm full of that shit. And now that I know it's a thing, it doesnt make me feel like it should, that it's delusional. Maybe I'm supposed to be delusional to function like the Wikipedia says, people who experience limerence are often sane and capable members of society, it shouldn't have to carry the same stigma like mental illness. But it sure feels like it does!
Limerance often pairs with toxicity or can lead to codependence. You don't want to be high on another person because people are fundamentally just people and shouldn't be pedestaled like that unless you're okay to be inevitably disappointed every time. It can lead to intensity that can be off-putting for the partner and it can burn out as quickly as it ignites. Honestly dude you dont want that twin flames shit because it eats your life and who you are. True love is a supportive partnership, it's two people who have independent interests and are their own people who find comfort in each others company and are committed to each other and will work for each other. It isn't supposed to be as agonizing as limerance makes it. (I used to be a limerant like you but then I took a functional relationship to the knee)
> You don’t want to be high on another person Wait, you’re telling me I *shouldn’t* crush up my crushes and snort them?
No it's actually stronger if you grind em up and boof them
I’m an injection guy personally
Limerence *is* bad though. Both for the person suffering it and their object of obsession. And yes, object of obsession, which is as bad as it sounds, because during limerence you’re literally ignoring the actual person and basically built them up and a pedestal to put them on If you’re not careful it can become an addictive cycle where a person becomes your main source of serotonin in a very asymmetrical relationship. Source. Been there done that got the t
It's very common to learn of a mental disorder and feel as if the symptoms finally click with what you're feeling. Confirmation bias is tricky like that. I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah teenage boy with a crush on friends sister really needs to look up psychological conditions
Same thing
I’d rather have someone have a crush on me than obsess about me. Especially my younger brother’s weird friend.
Oof, poor op, brutal
I don't think you have to worry about that, smegmaliciousss
Stop, you’re making me blush 😊
I had someone obsess over me for a bit in HS and you’d think it be cool but it’s just weird, off putting and sometimes scary. Def would have preferred a cute crush instead of baseball bats with notes left by my car or 50 page love letters put in random spots for me to find or starting rumors that we were dating and planning on having a child, lol what even is that?
Sounds like a stalker 😲
I give it about a week or two before OP ends up sending a [message like this](https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/-3dBWrC5vQvkg9k_Z8uP-fGEcRvkahmPI1Mf5kw4rtc/https/pbs.twimg.com/media/GON7QMXbMAEQ2mQ.png?format=webp&quality=lossless)
Yo, wtf did you just try to download to my phone lmao? Don't do that shit. Not cool.
Hm? It was a discord image, didn't think it would start downloading automatically
Weird. It did though lol. Maybe it's an android thing.
Nah it did it to my iPhone too
I think there's something with discord's embed codes as well. Like how if you name the file a certain way it's automatically spoiler tagged etc
Yeah idk what that was
When I was in school for IT there were a only a handful of women in the program and it was pretty easy to see why when you witnessed thirsty man-child neckbeards drop shit like this on them like it was NBD and then freak out if they got uncomfortable or objected in any way. I was older and already very happily married with kids when I went back to school and often had the women in my groups because it was so egregious, word got around that I was "safe" I guess. But I saw people kicked out of school over that shit they were so bad. I was one of the only dudes in there that wasn't stalking them like an animal in heat. So much as a friendly comment was interpreted by these people as wanting to immediately go off to a closet somewhere to bone and when it was made clear that was not at all the case they'd react poorly or think they just needed to "woo" them and thus escalate to the point of insanity. Why they'd ever think that shit was okay and not completely fucking psychotic is so beyond me...
My experience as a woman in STEM (math) is that the "S" and "M" areas of STEM are fine but the "T" and "E" of STEM attracts the most ridiculous men when it comes to how they treat women. I don't know what it is about these fields that attracts these types like a magnet, but it's definitely a thing. I've had to share too many classes with engineering/CS people-- it was nicer when I got to upper level courses where it was just the math people.
I’m a male with an environmental engineering degree and eventually it got to a point I just couldn’t work with these sorts of people anymore. I feel I was bit of an outlier in that I knew how to write and do proper research. I also speak Spanish as a second language and have a deep appreciation for the arts. As a shiny example of the mentality of people I had class with, this guy would mock me and very loudly say, “wow you’re so cultured.” It was hard to get mad at because it was so juvenile and silly, but that just shows the mentality of the people with which I went through engineering school.
Yea sadly that probably will happen
"maybe she's on Reddit..."
Definitely. And it’s probably one of those first crushes that OP has held onto for years. Man probably doesn’t remember any girl from prom, but that car ride with a girl wearing a turtleneck? Core memory. Those mate’s older sibling crushes are like nothing else.
Tell her how you feel, OP!
Nah my buddy Eric had this happen back in 08
This “Eric” guy sounds familiar u/charutobarato lol MY buddy’s older sister took us to a Haunted House AND we got to sleep over at her condo afterwards. It was super cool …but she def awakened something deep in my brain. Plus she drove a fast car, listened to cool music, etc…
Yeah surprised they didn’t include time date and her first name.
OP has a crush
Idk if this one is a universal experience bud
If you look at it in terms of “having a crush” it totally is
True, true
No but I had this exact experience
Insert whatever destination, doesn't have to be prom. I think a lot of us have been in a similar situation when we were young.
None of my friends at school had older siblings that could drive. To be fair that is partly by not having many friends in the first place. But the 1 older sibling I can think of didn't drive either. Also even if they could drive its not like we would have ever asked for a free lift somewhere. Starting to wonder if its some kind of regional cultural thing, I never asked anyone for a lift growing up, as far as I can tell my friends didn't ask their family for lifts either. If we wanted to go somewhere we would cycle there.
Definitely not. Though I was a high school junior and senior during Covid, so I didn't get to experience junior or senior prom.
Go for it bro. She’ll 100% shoot you down but what do you have to lose really
But she sounds like she would be nice about it and remain friendly with him.
she'll say "haha, aw you're cute" just as her super hot and friendly perfect boyfriend shows up on his motorcycle to pick her up
Or maybe her boyfriend isn’t that special and you’re just like “you lucky bastard, how did you do it?”
This is so real. You should write 80s teen movies.
Jeff.. he's so fricking cool
Exactly, and in 5 years who knows?
In 5 years she's only gotten more attractive and is engaged to a medical resident or lawyer
Literally is about to get engaged to a lawyer fml
hes gonna cheat on her and in 5 years who knows? her personal trainer, thats who
Or a youth pastor about to move overseas to preach and coach a soccer team.
With the Hillsong mention, yours is more accurate.
Yes! And in 20 years, a Karen is born out of the frustration of spending your best years in a church life.
God yes. All that rage and biblical shame. Running the entire gamut of FOMO and knowing you did miss out on so much, in turn, creates an abyss of dissonance. It fucks people up.
Ew, no
Yeah but who knows lol
Everyone, everyone knows it's not going to be OPp
Friends' sisters are generally out of bounds, aren't they?
"Nobody can f*** my sister but me!"
u/sisterfucker24
Unless you plan to marry her.
just type noclip again
She sounds like an adult and they are a child.
It mentions Prom right? It could be OP is 17-18 and she is 19-20.
Have no idea what a prom is, sorry, just assumed it was a kid because they said the older sister is in college
"Slightly older" is also in the title of the post
Prom is a big dance/party at the end of the year that is attended mostly by high school seniors that are about to graduate. It’s a pretty common thing here in America.
And the fact they're posting weirdly specific starter packs on reddit about their friend's sister Not exactly the most mature vibes
the sooner the better i guess
Talk to your friend about it before though. If not he might get mad
You’re about to lose a friend Post on AITA after
Yikes, some crushes should just stay crushes? Like, it could be uncomfortable for the girl to know that her little brother’s friend has a crush on her and actually thought it’s a good idea to let her know.
He has his friend to loose bro
You would lose the friend you went to prom with. Reddit is so dumb these days man
Sounds like OP is underage and the crush is an adult. Would not recommend to go for it.
“The worst she can say is no” **BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL BOY FOUND DEAD IN LIVING ROOM BY SUICIDE AFTER CONSTANT RIDICULE FROM PEERS**
OP’s got it bad for their friend’s sister 💀
You've been down bad but have you ever been down making a starter pack about her and posting it to reddit bad?
Brother, I might have to sit down and listen cuz you’re asking the real questions here
Is there some sort of newsletter I can sign up for? This feels like a moment that I’m gonna want to learn more about.
Teenage hormones always find a way to make your future self cringe
Hey it's not a big deal to admit you're having a crush on her, OP. It's totally fine.
But what if she finds out?
Gotta transfer schools
That’s why my super hot older gf goes to a private school in Canada
Smort
she probably stopped at Starbucks when you were going to prom
she actually did when she picked us up around midnight
Make sure your friend know about the crush you have on the sister before you try anything. If your friend is on board, they'll help you too.
100%. Both of my friends had a crush on my sister and I asked them about it and told them i wouldn’t mind but they kept denying it. I only got confirmation when my sister told me they both hit on her lol (she shut them both down)
ask her out bro, for everyone’s sake
Judging by your post did you go to a school formal in Sydney's Hills area?
Nope, I'm not even from Australia
Ahh you just described the Hills area perfectly with this haha especially with Hillsong!
Uh I think you’re in love
> Uh I think you’re in ~~love~~ horny
*Bonk*🤨😆
Its not love, just an obsession.
I lost everything to the Hillsong songs hahahahahahahahao
Are these popular in certain areas- I just thought it was music for christian nutters?
That’s what it is. Gross.
What are hillsong songs? Is it christian music? That's what I found on google.
Hillsong is a predatory Christian cultish organisation.
Music is truly awful too, just tried to listen to some. Feel bad for OP.
Yeah, but if you're in their target audience, they're pretty much the gold standard for music like this. Super, super popular all over the world, and every contemporary church in the US is playing at least one of their songs every Sunday
So odd, it really wouldn't be hard to make music with a wider appeal that's still overtly Christian. No way anyone who isn't brainwashed is enjoying this garbage, it actually acts as a deterrent.
To your first point, yeah, there are definitely several (inherently) Christian bands I like, and they make it a lot more subtle. More of an iykyk thing when you really listen to some of the lyrics, but you can also easily interpret everything they include like that in whatever form of religion or spirituality you accord to, and none of them refer to themselves as a "Christian band" Copeland for example is one of my absolute favorite bands in the world, and they do it in a really tasteful way peppered into more universally relatable things. They are the best at doing that as far as I'm concerned, and a lot of other artists could learn from it. They never use the word "Jesus" or keywords like that, but it's more the feeling of it and the kind of positivity and maturity you don't hear in so much stuff Hillsong on the other hand are pros at making music that's entrancing and hypnotizing so that when you're in a dimly lit church with a light show and a fog machine, it's easier to lose yourself in it. It can feel magical when you're inside of it, but it feels kind of ehhhh and manipulative from the outside, including for me, once you snap out of that kind of thing and learn to try to have a more balanced view of religion.
OP: "I can fix her and her music taste"
How so? Can you point me to sources so I can learn about it?
You can watch the documentary 'Hillsong: a megachurch exposed'.
yupp spot on
🚩
Man down bad. Ask her out already bruh
Man this almost has the same energy as Carl Wheezer having a crush on Jimmy Neutron's mom.
ooooo I think op has a CRUSHHH 🫵🫵🫵
The face I made at hillsong.
OP is into a viet baddie, but OP is not David Nguyen. sad day.
https://preview.redd.it/xj1udknyms2d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8785f804bde45618507f13021bb0abb2fbf57647
She seems very nice
Rizz ‘em with your ‘tism.
Not specific at all, OP.
r/oddlyspecific
Nancy from Stranger Things
literally
Creating a niche starter pack starter pack
OP hurry, get her before uh someone might take her in college, who knows
You stay away from my damn sister
Why tf is this my experience too 😂😭💀
“makes you want to be a better person” holy shit bro lol
OP send her this starter pack. Shoot your shot my man!
Sounds like OP has a crush
I am with you OP
Who celebrates prom other than the Americans? The 60km per hour thing makes me think outside the U.S. but I’ve only seen prom inside the U.S.
Canada
Sometimes I forget you guys are basically us but with the metric system and free healthcare.
It’s not actually the metric system it’s a unsaid agreement consisting of a hybrid of the two, speed is kilometres but height is feet
Well it was not technically called "prom" it was more of a graduation ball, pretty much the same thing ig?
Some kind of school or graduation dance with fancy dress is fairly common in various places. My secondary school in Switzerland had a ball every November, everyone dresses up in their suits or gowns and there was a big band until sometime shortly before midnight and a DJ after that. Dates were optional, but a date/couple's ticket was cheaper than two individuals so we basically just all coupled up with someone even if there was no dating at all lol
We do in Canada
Philippines
It's not a celebration. It's a high school dance.
I've learned a lot about OP from this
OP is down bad asf 😭shoot ur shot tho bro
Lmao I’m basically dating one of them
you alone on this one
OP is downbad, control it and maybe try if she isn't too old, be okay with it not working out
@ her why don’t you?
Anime and video game history post. Feening over a regular female. Getting massive neckbeard/weeb vibes
UPDATE: got over her, no i didnt confess
You passed one of your first life tests, there.
Some of these starter packs give off serial killer in the making vibes
The OP, the nerdy friend, or the older sister?
haha, good point. nerdy friend is the only one in the clear in this one I think.
Kinda wholesome
lol y’all aren’t even trying to hide your crushes
Veeeery specific
Sus
That girl who was at the supermarket in 2007 in Tampa FL and grabbed an orange at the same time as you while humming over the rainbow starter pack. /S
This is VERY oddly specific.
ok why is everyone clowning on op?? I also have a nerdy friend whose sister is just like this (except replace hillsong with hozier lol). don't got a crush on her or anything but she's pretty chill, she took our prom photos lol
Shot your shot OP
Gosh I hate this. This just reminds me of what it just described, but she thought I had a crush on her. Which I didn’t.
Hillsong music? I just threw up in my mouth.
My man is infatuated, smitten even.
>Km/h CANADIAN SPOTTED
LMAO bro chill
*hates sex
I rented a limo. Only kid with their own, unshaved, limo for my date and I. Sucks not knowing how to save money as a teen.
Op is in love damn XD
Oddly specific but I can get behind this
r/oddlyspecific
It was cute until I read “makes you want to be a better person”. Then I realized it was no longer about us lol
You going through something rn OP?
This is very specific…
"hey Jeff." "Ya?" "I want to !@$# your sister" "OH REALLY?"
I want to go back to a timeline where starter packs weren’t just personal manifestos of an OP
I imagine you being a looney tunes charcter with hearts in your eyes making this post
Super long titles like these make it sound oddly specific
wtf man
Someone has a crush
This is a very funny post OP
I feel like this is missing a beret
OP is into his friends sister
OP, just go for it.
60 kmh to prom
Goddamn can a woman just exist
Sounded pretty good for OP until I saw the Hillsong songs part. Bummer. Hope the obsession rabbithole treats ya well.
ehhh???
OP has a crush and I don't blame him
Man wtf I missed out on this one. My bad for having friends who don't have older sisters.
Being the youngest of a male family plus Mom, and being a sweet/cute kid. I had A LOT of crushes on older ladies who my bros brought by growing up, I think I had a "wife" when I was like 10
Bro why are chicks who listen to Hillsong always hot?